Original subtitles

BOY: Chamber of Horrors-- all right!

HERMAN: Oh, goody.

Keep your eyes open, Lily.

You might find some new decorating ideas for our home.

Now, that's what l call a bed.

Boy, would that straighten out my sciatica.

MARlLYN: Uncle Herman, that's a bed of nails.

So, you get a good night's sleep and your back scratched.

Yeah, but every time you jump into bed, you're a bloody mess.

l'll drink to that.

Ooh!

Hey...

what a neat chair.

Must be from one of those old-fashioned beauty salons.

The guy's getting a manicure, pedicure, and a facial,

all at the same time.

He's going to be a pretty good-looking guy...

when they get through with him.

Herman, dear, they're torturing the poor man.

What?

Well, look around.

That's what this museum is all about.

HERMAN: Oh.

Oh, then that must be the rack...

and that's a vat of boiling oil...

and there's the executioner...

and that's a basket of watermelons beside him...

but those aren't watermelons.

Those are...

Lily...

Grandpa...anybody.

Ooh!

Thank goodness, a friendly face...

even if you are only a dummy.

No offense.

LlLY: Herman? Herman?

Now, that's no dummy. That's my wife.

Well, so long. Good luck...

especially with that eye.

Oh, there you are.

l'm glad l found you.

You found all of us, Pop. Look.

Oh...l'd know me anywhere.

You old lady-killer, you.

Personally, l don't think that they've captured the real me--

tall, green, handsome.

Only person missing is poor Marilyn.

You can't blame them, Lily.

They don't want to frighten away the customers.

Let me get a picture...

so l can show the guys in the Royal Bat and Ball Club...

just how famous my family really is.

Bat Club?

Eddie, you could get into that kind of a club on my name alone.

l don't know, Grandpa.

l mean, they don't take just anybody.

Eddie, we're just not anybody, son.

That's right, Eddie.

Your father's a little bit of everybody,

and your grandfather's got some of the best blood in Europe...

flowing through them veins.

Grandpa, if the boy wants a picture,

let him get a picture.

Thanks, Mom.

Everybody just stand next to yourselves.

HERMAN: Wait a minute. Eddie, give me that camera, son.

But--

Give me the camera.

You've got to be in the picture, too.

[Men speaking Japanese]

[Man speaking Japanese]

Do any of you gentlemen know how to operate one of these?

[Men screaming]

Hmm, must be from one of those countries...

where they've never seen a camera before.

LOUDSPEAKER: Attention. The museum is now closing.

Please leave by the rear exit.

But the picture...

Quick, everybody, positions.

You can imagine the trouble we'd be in...

if that gruesome bunch were alive.

Just in time, Marilyn.

Meet them in a dark alley, and...

J-J-Just in time, Marilyn?

Oh, l'd like you to meet my family.

Not all of us.

l just remembered, l have to ghoul--uh...go, go!

l have to go now.

l don't know what it is about you, Marilyn.

You always seem to attract nervous boyfriends.

LOUDSPEAKER: The museum will be closing in one minute.

Quick, Marilyn, dear. This is for Eddie.

Well, let's say good-bye to ourselves and go.

Don't do anything l wouldn't do, you rascal. Ha!

All clear?

Yeah, all clear.

lt just amazes me that people would come in...

just to look at a bunch of wax statues.

[Beeping]

MAN: lf they only knew what they were really looking at.

SECOND MAN: Yeah.

OK, troops, let's move out.

[Men yelling]

Aah!

Aah!

Grr!

MAN: Let me out of here.

Ack!

11:00, and all's well.

Ack!

But what do l know? Ack!

Your move, Spot.

[Spot growls]

[Spot growls]

Did you see that, Lily?

Spot beat me again.

Last night it was ping-pong, and this morning, this.

No use trying to make up to me now, Spot.

l just talked to Aunt Elvira.

She's flying in from Salem for the Halloween holiday.

Oh, that's nice.

Yes, isn't it?

lt's always such fun to go to the airport and meet her broom.

We can forget about Cousin lgor coming.

According to this letter, can't make it.

HERMAN: Oh, that's too bad.

How are things in Transylvania?

Oh, that's always been one of my favorite songs.

[Singing] How are things in Transylvania?

ls the plasma bank still flowing there?

[Man singing ltalian opera]

Well, at least Cousin Phantom of the Opera is here.

Yeah. Maybe we can all have a sing-along.

[Singing ltalian opera]

Yeah, if we all have earmuffs.

l assure you, my voice is appreciated elsewhere.

l sang ''Pagliacci'' at the bistro last night.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

GRANDPA: Or a dry table either.

You'll see. When l attain superstardom,

it will be because of this magnificent voice,

not because l'm just another pretty face.

lt's Marilyn and her latest victim.

Well, he might not be if we could make him feel at home.

Hmm, Herman?

Leave it to me, Lily.

l'll smother him with love and kill him with kindness.

Well, that ought to make him feel like one of us.

Uh, everybody, this is Warren Thurston.

Warren, this is my family.

Morning.

Hello.

[Banging]

HERMAN: Well, look at that. Spot's saying hello, too. Ha!

[Whispering] Spot?

LlLY: Well, you're off to a good start, young man.

Spot really likes you.

No, Spot, he does not want to play checkers.

Maybe some other time.

Yah!

Warren's father works in the movies.

Ah! Talkies? Have l got a voice for you.

[Singing ltalian opera]

Oh, how nice.

We are making him feel at home.

That's OK. l've got another pair.

Ah, the movies...

WARREN: Wait. My father just manages a theater here.

l'm just visiting for a few weeks.

Then you'll be here for Halloween.

You must celebrate it with us.

LlLY: Oh, you really must.

lt's the most festive time of the year.

The whole family gathers together,

and we decorate the entire house...

with poison ivy and sumac,

and l always manage to find...

the most beautiful hanging tree for the living room...

And my roast buzzard...

Mmm ! Gourmet cuisine.

And this year, there's a full moon.

Oh, good.

HERMAN: At midnight, we play games.

EDDlE: We put on masks, and we scare people.

We play Pin the Tail on the Werewolf.

My favorite is Bobbing for Shrunken Heads.

[Grandpa laughing]

Can l invite a few friends over,

like the president of the Royal Bat and Ball Club?

Uh, we'll see.

LlLY: You see, we're really an old-fashioned family, Warren.

HERMAN: Exactly.

Just your typical, average, old-fashioned family.

We believe in setting a good example for the kids.

MAN: All right, everybody freeze!

Those two--arrest them.

Glen, let these muggings get started,

you're going to have an epidemic on your hands.

GLEN: l'm not so sure we got the right men, Dad.

l understand your skepticism, Glen.

Of course, l've only been on the force for 30 years.

You've been on it how long? Six months?

l know a criminal when l see one.

lt's just the witnesses' descriptions--

do you think they'll hold up?

Sound pretty far-fetched.

Frankly, l've never seen anybody that looks like--

Save me from criminology majors.

They're overeducated, overpaid, and under-brained.

Now, go get those witnesses.

Have these men been given their rights?

We've been given everything,

except the reason why we're here.

l'm Chief Boyle. Sit down.

Now, what do we have here?

Grand theft auto,

threatening to inflict bodily harm,

terrorizing.

lmpossible! Why, Herman couldn't frighten anyone.

Really?

Where were you last night at approximately 11:00?

11:00.

Well, let's see.

Uh, Spot had just beaten me at ping-pong.

That was about 10:30.

Then l made some hot cocoa and got into my jammies.

Jammies.

l suppose you have someone who can corroborate that.

l certainly can corroborate it. Ha!

Well, actually, l was hanging in my closet, fast asleep.

[Buzzing]

GLEN: The witnesses are on their way.

What's going on here?

What are you doing to my uncle and my grandfather?

No need to worry, Marilyn.

Just a minor misunderstanding about last night.

Oh, it's very minor.

We've been accused of terrorizing a city.

They were home last night. l know. l was there.

Uncle Herman was playing ping-pong with Spot.

Grandpa was doing what he usually does before midnight--

hanging in the closet, asleep.

There. You see?

Maybe l should take her statement.

Yes, l suppose you could do that.

So, then, are we free to go?

Not quite.

There were witnesses who were at the scene of the crime.

Oh, goody.

They can tell you that we weren't there.

That's him.

That's him.

That's him.

l'll visit you on the weekend, Herman.

That's him.

That's him.

What happened to, ''That's him''?

l'll never forget it. That face--

There was blood dripping from the fangs.

That's impossible!

l've been on the wagon for over a year.

You can ask them down at the BSA.

The Boy Scouts of America?

Blood Suckers Anonymous.

Now, thank you. That's all.

lt doesn't look good, does it, unless you're on our side?

Now, take my suggestion.

Get yourselves a good lawyer.

And we were home all night.

Do you spend a lot of nights at home?

ls that on or off the record?

Sorry.

Even hardened criminals are allowed bail.

[Buzzing]

BOYLE: l know, but in this case,

l'd like to find a reason not to.

[Buzzing]

Believe me or not, they're innocent.

Oh, l believe you.

l mean, l would like to believe you.

[Buzzing]

'Cause Uncle Herman is the sweetest, kindest...

and, well, he's the gentlest man.

[Herman growling]

GRANDPA: Herman! What is the matter with you, Herman?

MARlLYN: Uncle Herman!

GRANDPA: Herman!

Stop him.

GRANDPA: What's going on here, Herman?

Herman! What are you doing?

[Herman growling]

Stop him !

Grandpa, do something.

[Crash]

GRANDPA: Herman!

Aah!

GRANDPA: He ain't sane.

Uncle Herman!

GRANDPA: l'm warning you, Herman,

l am not picking up after you!

Herman!

BOYLE: Just don't stand there. Somebody do something.

Get him ! Get him !

[Herman growling]

Oh!

Oh!

Lock up these...maniacs...

and throw away the key!

[Phantom singing ltalian opera]

Uncle, what is there to sing about?

l don't think that you all realize how serious this is.

Uncle Herman is in jail, and Grandpa's in jail.

Ack! 9:00, and all's rotten.

Ack!

Just trying to cover up an aching heart.

When things look their worst,

l always try to put on a happy face, huh?

Ahh!

See how a little smile can brighten up someone's day?

l wish he were here to brighten up our day.

-What do you want? -l don't mean to intrude.

l know it's early.

Never too early to audition, my boy.

[Singing ltalian opera]

Uncle, he's not a talent scout.

Oh?

He's a detective.

Oh! Do you have any good news about Herman and Grandpa?

l think it's good news. l've talked my father...

into letting me handle the investigation.

l thought we could have breakfast or coffee...

and just talk.

Maybe there was something you left out yesterday.

Why do l get the feeling...

that there's nothing you've overlooked?

LlLY: Marilyn, have coffee with him.

He seems like a nice young man.

Aunt Lily, his father is the one who said...

to put them in jail and throw away the key.

l know, but that's just the circumstances.

My father's not so bad. He's a decent man.

Now, you'll see.

l know he'll give your uncle and grandfather a fair shake.

Herman, l have slept in...

just about every closet and coffin in the world,

but this place gives me claustrophobia.

Really? l don't think it's so bad.

Three squares a day, a little solitude,

time to think.

l just wish Lily was here to tuck me in at night.

Yeah.

Well, here comes your nanny.

Hey, lower bunk's mine, honky.

Honky? Excuse me. l think you must have been misinformed.

The name's Herman.

D-Did l say h-honky?

l m-m-meant if you want the lower,

it's hunky-dory with me.

Anything you want, you got, big fella.

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

But you can have the lower bunk tonight.

We hope to be out of here in a jiffy.

Hang on.

You're the monster muggers...

who tore up the chief's squad room, right?

Word is, you dudes gonna be in here forever.

You hear that, Herman, hmm?

The pride of Transylvania, treated like a common criminal.

Boy, l tell you, that's enough to drive a man to drink.

Oh, what l wouldn't give for a nice Bloody Mary...

or Dorothy or Emily.

Tell me he's only jiving.

Grandpa never jives.

That's what l was worried about.

Anyway, they can't hold us here much longer.

You see, we're innocent.

How are we going to prove our innocence...

while we're in here?

MAN: Soup's on.

Oh, goody, lamb stew. Ha ha ha!

l'm starving.

Here, l'll give you a hand.

Hey, what are you doing?

Help!

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What about our lamb stew?

GUARD: Help! Somebody help!

PRlSONER: Shut up!

Big man, you sure got guts.

Look what l got--a present.

That gun belongs to him.

Here.

There. lt's open.

l could have slid the gun through the bars.

Herman, l'll take that.

Oh, fine.

Then l'll close the door.

What for?

Well, somebody could get out.

Herman, that somebody is us.

You want to rot in this cell or get out and clear our names?

l just hate making decisions on an empty stomach.

Herman, let's go.

Now, get in here. Come on, now.

PRlSONER: Hey, what about me?

You...you can have the lower bunk.

Come on, Herman.

GRANDPA: Herman!

BOYLE: Well, record or no record, Commissioner,

l'm going to make an example of them.

Huh, you're strong on rhetoric, Harry,

but rumor has it that you're getting soft in your old age.

l'll show you what soft is.

Those two are in jail,

and that's where they're going to stay.

GRANDPA: Stay back. l'm dangerous now.

l'm a dangerous man. Stop right there, right there.

Herman! Herman, our taxi's here.

Let's go.

You men are making a big mistake.

Oh, l know.

Your lamb stew looked delicious.

But he wouldn't listen.

Herman!

Coming.

Oh, would you mind holding these?

Uh...thank you.

Don't be afraid. They're not loaded.

Herman!

Coming.

MARlLYN: lsn't that Uncle Herman?

ln my father's car?

BOYLE: Glen! Glen! They're escaping! Get them !

MARlLYN: Aah!

Ok, hold on.

MARlLYN: Look out.

That's your son, isn't it?

Just relax.

Glen!

Chip off the old block.

Did we hit anybody?

l don't think so.

Good. Then l can open my eyes.

You know, Grandpa, l've never been a fugitive before,

but it's kind of fun.

Fugitive? lt's only until we clear our names.

Herman, you want to spend your life...

being known as ''the monster mugger''?

Monster mugger?

Monster mugger.

lt does have a nice ring to it.

Herman, there's somebody out there...

committing those crimes who resembles us.

Really?

Yes.

l don't know about that.

lt's hard to believe there's anyone out there...

as handsome as me.

Believe it, Herman. Believe it.

The only time it's even close is when l'm looking in the mirror.

Or when l'm looking at myself at the Wax Museum.

Wax Museum?

What?

Herman, there are times when l know those bolts...

are screwed on just right.

You've got it!

Oh, Grandpa, when l get compliments like that,

l go all goosepimples.

Get goose--

Uh, what do l got?

Herman, you said it's time for us to abandon this vehicle...

and proceed on foot to the Wax Museum,

where certain suspicions have been aroused in me.

l did?

Huh.

l'll have to listen more carefully when l'm talking.

Closing time for them, opening time for us.

Uh, but, Grandpa, l've only got 85 cents,

and it costs $4.00 to get in.

Herman, we're sneaking in.

Oh. Then l can spend this on a hot dog.

l'm starving.

There is no time for eating. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

l missed lunch, and now you're going to make me miss dinner?

Next time l run away,

it is not going to be with somebody who's on a liquid diet.

Ergh! Come on. Let's go.

[Tires screech]

[Horn honks]

Oh, l sure don't want to get lost in here again.

lt's spooky.

What are you doing?

l'm looking for us.

Us?

Oh. Well, just look behind you, and you'll find me,

and l'll look ahead of me, and there you are.

Oh, you mean that us.

MAN: All clear, Ralph. l'm going into the chamber now.

All clear?

All clear. You can move them downstairs.

Right.

[Beeping]

So that's how it was done.

How what was done?

That's why we were seen stealing and terrorizing people.

Hmm. And all the time, l thought we were innocent.

We are innocent, Herman.

lt's the robots that are guilty.

lt's hard to believe they're all guilty.

A bunch of nice-looking guys.

GRANDPA: That ugly one ain't too bad, either.

l wonder where they're going.

You mean, where are we going? Herman, let's grab them.

Get him, Herman. Hey, wait. Wait.

Now what?

Now what? Look for a switch or wire to disconnect.

Aha! A piece of cake, Herman.

l tell you, they just don't make me like they used to.

Herman, l told you to disconnect him,

not to choke him !

Tell him, n-not me.

[Electrical crackling]

l hate bullies.

[ltalian accent] Ah, magnifico, eh?

Bravissimo.

Hey, Notre Dame--the hunchback.

Ah. Bravo.

Lagoon monster, eh?

Pavido.

Perfetto. Magnifico, eh?

No. There's something's wrong in the placement of this arm.

That gives it better mobility, Dr. Licklighter.

-Mobility is not governed by-- -Mobility is the first law--

Please, gentlemen.

l don't care mobility.

What l want is them to move good.

Well, yes, but--

Talk, talk--too much talk.

No more talk. You listen. l talk.

Where are my two beauties from last night?

Yes, where?

[Licklighter gasps]

Oops, baby. Oops. Hey, you're too precious.

Too precious now, too valuable. Come. Come, sweethearts.

lt seems that somebody has been tampering with them also.

Would you like to discuss last night?

l'd be very happy to discuss--

Hush, gentlemen, please!

Gentlemen, let's give credit where credit is due.

Weren't they wonderful last night?

They were magnificent.

They did everything we wanted.

They got the uniforms, brought them to us.

They got the getaway car.

Tonight, we lock up the pizza place,

and we have another dry run.

And then... then it's on to Operation Mommy.

Operation Mommy?

Oh, l said ''Mommy''? No, l meant ''Mummy.''

But there is a mommy involved--

the mommy who gave me this ring.

Certainly you're not sending out these two.

The real ones were seized and thrown into jail.

Correction, Doctor.

They escaped earlier this afternoon.

The police will blame anything on the real one.

Send them out.

LlCKLlGHTER: l say they don't go out.

lTALlAN MAN: Wait a minute.

l say they're not ready. Don't send them out!

Stop, please, gentlemen!

Nobody gonna do anything around here unless l say.

And when l say, everybody gonna listen.

And l say...

They move tonight.

Tonight.

What's that, hey?

Who gave him a back-up button?

Nobody. l told you something was wrong.

l did nothing wrong with these. This checked out this morning.

Please don't argue no more.

There's nothing wrong with him.

There's something wrong over here with these.

Look at this.

See, it's quivering. The skin is too tight.

l told you.

Look at him.

My beauty. He's leaking.

See that?

The wax is melting.

Oh, my baby, my bambino.

You take good care on this one.

He's my favorite.

Fix him up good.

He'll be fine.

There's nothing wrong with them...

that a thousand-volt recharge won't fix.

l'm warning you, these robots are very delicate mechanisms.

You're overreacting, Dr. Licklighter.

Stop, please, gentlemen. Please!

These were built to take anything.

Ralph, shoot them up with 2,000 volts.

They're gonna get everything.

RALPH: Yes, sir.

[Electricity buzzing]

T-T-T-Take...

T-T-T-Take it off.

Take it off!

Ow!

RALPH: Sorry, sir.

l'll tell you when. Hoo, boy.

All right... When!

All right. Come on, my babies.

Ooh!

Come on. Come on, sweethearts.

We're going to the van. Hurry up, everybody.

[Buzzing stops]

Where do you think they're taking us?

lt's their nightly caper where they scare people.

Oh.

Maybe that's why l feel scared.

When the police find out what's going on...

in this van and the Wax Museum,

our fears and troubles will be over.

Oh, goody.

That's good news to my hunger pangs.

Yeah. Well, l tell you, speaking of hunger pangs...

Ahem. Excuse me, my dear.

Could l interest you in a little bite?

Grandpa, she's only a robot.

That woman cannot talk.

l know. Those are the best kind.

Oh, look, Grandpa, a pizza place.

Ha ha! My prayers have been answered.

Herman, our moment has arrived. Come on.

And just in time.

l'm going to have the works--

pepperoni, cheese, sausage, mushroom, anchovy.

Herman, come on. Time for escaping.

Eating comes later.

Grandpa, just carve it on my tombstone--

''He ate too late.''

Don't say another word about food until l'm being fed.

Holy Transylvania! Look at that lettuce.

What?

-What a load of cabbage! -Cabbage?

l've never seen so much bread.

Lettuce, cabbage, bread...

Grandpa, you've got a mean streak in you.

l'm not talking about food.

l'm talking about money-- thousands of dollars.

But even with inflation, pizzas don't cost that much.

Well, something does.

We'll let the police take care of this.

We'd better hurry.

Police!

Pete, look!

Police!

We're supposed to capture them. They're coming for us!

They won't get us!

Police!

PETE: Hold it right there.

The van--there's no time. lt's getting away!

Car 13 requests backup. lt's an emergency.

We've got the Munster gang in custody.

No, no, not us. They're the ones you want.

Listen, the van is full of robots!

And the robots are us, o-o-only we're not really them.

They're made out of wax-- wire--stuff.

They got lettuce, cabbage, bread--

And they're maniacs!

Send two backups and an ambulance!

That's no use! We're going to lose them.

The van is turning the corner!

Hurry! Turn the car around!

Here, l'll help.

Uhh...

Put this car down, or l'll shoot!

Forget the backups. Send the SWAT team !

SWAT team?

[Sirens]

Forget it. They're not listening.

Let's go!

l guess that young detective's keeping an eye out for us.

And the other eye out for Marilyn.

l feel so helpless.

l hope they're not in any danger.

Have a little confidence.

l won't let anything happen to them.

lt's lovely of you, young man,

to take such an interest in Herman and Grandpa.

Yeah. l wonder why that is.

Don't you wonder why, Marilyn?

l wonder why you don't get lost.

Look, Mrs. Munster,

l'll find them and bring them in safely,

no matter how long it takes.

[Grandpa grunting]

What's the matter with this window?

lf we were in burglar school, we'd flunk out.

[Crunching]

What are you doing?

You know, these acorns aren't bad,

but they'd be better on a T-bone steak.

Forget T-bone steak, Herman. The window is locked.

So how do we get in?

[Phantom singing ltalian opera]

Uncle, why now?

Just trying to strike a happy note, my dear.

[Singing in ltalian]

Cousin Phantom,

the second-story man's best friend.

Oh, goody. Chow time!

Aah...

No. No, Herman!

One at a time!

lsn't it strange that we haven't heard from him?

[Crash]

l think we just have, dear.

Mmm. Compliments to the chef, dear.

Did you like the tarantula soup?

The best ever.

l know you like the marinated hyena.

Mmm. Would you like to try some, Glen?

Uh, no, thanks.

lt's hard to digest what you told me about the Wax Museum.

l was there recently. l didn't notice a thing.

That's because you weren't looking...

like we were three days ago.

lf you and your father could see that laboratory downstairs--

l don't know that l can convince my father.

lt's tough convincing myself.

Well, it's very simple.

All you have to do is set up the raid.

He and l will take you there.

Oh, no, Grandpa. That's too dangerous.

You're staying right here.

Uh, not here. l have to take them in--to jail.

MARlLYN: And let them get brutalized?

Nobody's going to brutalize them.

[Marilyn sighs]

Right, because you're going to let them stay right here...

until you get back with the proof.

Aren't you?

[Glen sighs]

l guess l am.

l haven't been on such a wild-goose chase...

since l was a rookie--just about the way you're acting.

Wax museums, robots...

l know it sounds crazy. l've got eyewitnesses.

They've seen them.

lt's worth a chance.

ls it worth a six-car raiding party?

You men cover the back.

The rest come with us.

Somebody's been tampering with these, all right.

Wire's disconnected.

l'm not pointing any fingers, but l'm not old, desperate,

and in danger of being phased out.

Phased out!

[Electronic humming]

What's all the music? What's the music?

[Humming stops]

lt's a three-alarm, police.

Police? All right. To be continued, gentlemen,

but l'm going to want an explanation, no talk!

Let's get out of here. Do the honors.

[Beeping]

Something wrong, gentlemen?

Yeah, we'll see.

[German accent] What's going on?

Could l help you, gentlemen?

Could l show you something, maybe?

Police. We'd like to see Dr. Diablo.

Police? Dr. Zhivago? No, we didn't make him yet.

We're gonna make him. We didn't get around to it.

Dr. Diablo, the man in charge.

The man in charge is me, Emil Hornsmeyer.

l have been here for 20 years. We've lovingly taken care of--

Forgive us for disturbing you, Mr. Hornsmeyer.

Uh, l can handle it.

We want to look closer at these wax figures--

the monsters.

Monsters?

Monsters. Monsters.

You mean works of art.

Come. l show you.

[Snickering]

[Speaking German]

Come. l show you what in Dresden they don't have.

Here, see this one?

This is from Notre Dame-- the bell-ringer, the hunchback.

Remember him?

What are you looking for, fleas?

They don't like wax.

What's the matter with you? Look at this one, the wolfman.

We gave him a schnozz. See how nice?

With a schmiss there and a schnozzle there.

lf it's wonderful-- what are you looking for?

Why do you keep looking at--

Aha.

You're the police, ja?

Somebody smuggled something into the country.

Uh, jewelry? Contraband?

Ah. Little dope? Something?

We're looking for robots.

Robots?

[Speaking German]

Robots here?

[Speaking German]

These are works of art.

You want a robot, go to a toy store,

where they wind them up, you know.

Over here, my beauty.

There's no batteries in this one.

That should be obvious.

Where's the secret panel?

Secret panel? l don't know from no secret panel.

[Speaking German]

Oy. Here we go.

Gee whiz! Wow!

l never knew that, and l've been here 20 years.

Maybe it won't be a secret much longer.

HORNSMEYER: My goodness.

GLEN: Neither will the laboratory.

Ah. l never saw this before.

l'll get you later. l'm going to fix you.

Come. l'll show you something you never saw before.

Well, gentlemen, is there anything else l could show you?

Just the door.

Right this way.

Nothing. There was nothing.

No, l'm not mad. l'm just a little disappointed.

Anytime you're ready, Sherlock Holmes.

Coming.

He doesn't know about them yet. l must take them in.

They won't be happy about that. Neither am l.

No robots? No laboratory?

No clearing our names?

Ack!

10:00, and it's back to jail. Ack!

That master criminal must have covered his tracks so well...

that the police do not know...

what's going on at the Wax Museum.

There was something going on at that pizza place.

lt would take a lot of pepperoni to cover that up.

Herman, you've got it.

-l've got it again? -Right.

Oh, goody. Ha ha ha!

l just love it when l've got something.

What have l got?

Estelle? Marie?

Grandpa, which one am l-- Estelle or Marie?

What difference does it make? He called both of us.

Oh. l hope nobody tries to get fresh.

lt's hard for me to say no.

COOK: Are you two ready?

Yes! See what l mean?

How do l look?

Oh, are my seams straight?

They are. Unfortunately, your legs are crooked.

Holy moly. Look what's coming.

Towering inferno...

and the creature from the blue-rinse lagoon.

l kind of dig tall chicks,

especially when the band is playing a slow number.

What's on the menu, honey?

To tell you the truth, l haven't looked.

We're new here.

She hasn't been new anywhere in years.

You're the dish l'm interested in, cutie.

What time are you getting off?

ls he making a pass?

How would she know?

She hasn't had one of those in years, either.

ls there anything at all appetizing in here?

Personally, l like the tomato soup.

lt has such a delicious color.

Make it two coffees.

Humph. Mashers.

l don't know how the other beautiful girls stand it.

-Herman! -Do you want to get me fired?

The briefcase.

With the lettuce, cabbage, and bread?

With all of the above. We're onto something.

Uh, the two customers for those pizzas to go just came in.

Yes, sir.

HERMAN: Oh...

lxnay, Grandpa.

We got to amscray.

The opscay.

There's something very big cooking here...

besides them pizzas.

You get rid of them.

But...

Uh, who's the pepperoni and mushroom?

Uh, here.

There you go.

Hope you don't mind a few hairs in the anchovy and cheese.

Excuse me. What kind of cake is that?

Whatever it is, you wouldn't like it.

Who says?

Hey, haven't l seen you somewhere before?

How dare you use that old line, you wolf?

-What? -You're a beast.

You think l'm a pushover for any man in a uniform.

l'm sorry, madam--uh, miss.

Let's go, Larry.

Yeah. Uh, thanks.

That's all.

Let me talk to the doctor. lt's Paolo.

Diablo, it's all bought and paid for.

l'll deliver the merchandise within the next half-hour.

All right? Yeah.

Uh, girls, l have an errand to run.

l'll be back in an hour.

W-W-Where's he going?

To see Dr. Diabolical.

Then so are we. Let's go.

Excuse me. Have you seen two men?

One was your size...

What are you doing--

We're glad to see you.

We got a hot lead. Come with us.

Sorry. l'm not going for it this time.

You've got to believe us.

lt was tough finding you now. You won't get away again.

Come on. Let's go.

GLEN: Come on. GRANDPA: But, Glen--

GLEN: Let's go.

ls this turkey bothering you?

Oh, no. You see, he's a--

He certainly is.

Just can't leave the good-looking women alone, eh?

[Scuffling and crashing]

Now we amscray.

How do we get in?

Quick, Herman. Let's go.

Oops. Sorry.

No harm, no foul.

Herman, come on!

Freeze.

Why are they out here?

Got me. These two haven't been operating right.

Licklighter and Michael been blaming each other.

-You better take them inside. -Right.

To the laboratory, where we can work on them.

Something puzzles me about these two.

lf you don't mind, Doctor, hands off.

There's nothing wrong with these two...

that 4,000 volts won't cure.

4,000 volts! You just--

We did 2,000 volts last night, and it revitalized them.

4,000 volts. You put 2,000 volts in there--

DlABLO: Come on, no more argue. No more argue.

We got better things to talk about.

Ralph, everything all set?

RALPH: Ready, Doctor.

DlABLO: Thank you very much. Come, come, come.

As you know,

the National Gallery has been kind enough...

to make a little celebration for us on Halloween.

l have a little surprise for them.

lt's going to make all you gentlemen,

and especially me, very rich.

Jewels beyond your imagination,

treasures that you can't even think of.

All belonging to the pharaoh who was buried in the tomb--

King Ramatakenigi...

King Ratatumtim...

King Ratatanumutuckin...

King Ratata...

My brother. Ha!

Yes.

l, Dustin de Diablo, is a direct descendant of the pharaohs.

Yes. You no believe, eh?

You see this?

This mole is the mark of the pharaoh.

You still no believe.

Ralph, turn on this light.

You see, in the picture, there's a little chair?

That's not just a little chair.

lt was given to me by King Tut himself.

Oh, yes.

lt was my first little potty-chair.

On the bottom of the chair is an inscription.

The inscription says...

[Speaking Egyptian]

...which means,

''He who sits on the throne sits there all alone.''

Oh, yes.

But my mama-- my mommy, my mother...

she take everything away-- my potty-chair, my riches--

and give them to my younger brother.

Why? Because he got married first.

She got mad at me, stripped me of everything.

Now l have my revenge. Change the slide.

There, gentlemen, is a map of the museum.

''X'' marks the spot where the men are guarding all my treasures.

Now, on the stroke of midnight,

out go the lights, out go the guards, pandemonium.

ln swoop my beauties.

They scoop up all the treasures and my potty-chair,

except one item.

Change the slide.

The royal necklace which hangs around the mummy's neck.

l will get that myself,

because that royal necklace stands for power...

and for authority that will be mine!

At last, the riches of the Nile will be mine.

Mine, mine, mine, mine!

Where's the keys?

Where's the car keys?

l had them in my pocket. l must have left them upstairs.

No keys to the getaway car, no getaway.

Grandpa, Glen's not going to believe this,

because l sure don't.

Nobody's going to believe it.

lf we expect to clear our names, we must do something about it.

Yeah. We'll have to catch that Diablo red-handed.

Hmm. Maybe have the mummy catch him green-handed.

The mummy? How can the mummy catch him?

He's been dead for centuries... even longer than you.

-What if he wasn't? -What?

Supposing he was alive, Herman. Ha ha!

There's a secret, life-giving, rejuvenating potion...

l've always wanted to try out.

Oh, goody. This is the time to use it.

-Where is it? -Transylvania.

Tran-Transyl...

-Transylvania? -Yeah.

That's a long ways off.

You can't be here one moment, just wave your arms,

and be somewhere else the next.

Grandpa?

We cannot have an idea like this vanish into thin air.

Uh...what?

Herman? Herman, where are you?

Here l am. Where are you?

Herman!

Put your ear to the wall and listen.

-Are you listening? -l'm listening.

l can't hear anything.

Uh...there you are. What do you want?

l want to get out. Now, come on!

Can we make it to Transylvania and back in time, Grandpa?

We might have--if we'd gone out the other end of the alley.

You wouldn't want to take us to the airport, would you?

No. Just as far as police headquarters.

Now, get in!

l don't suppose l could interest you on an inside tip...

on a gigantic heist planned for Halloween night--

with robots, jewels, and an Egyptian mummy?

Not ever! Get in!

Glen Boyle for Chief Boyle.

Chief Boyle.

What is it now?

You what?

Uh--you're sure?

l--l mean, you've got them right there?

ln the car? Great! That's great, son!

-He's got them, Commissioner. -Got who?

The Munster gang, in front of the Wax Museum.

That's great work, son. Great work!

You just stay there, and l'll be bringing help.

Thanks. l'm bringing them in myself.

Glen. Glen. Huh--

Ha ha ha! That boy's a chip off the old block.

This will be the first Halloween l've ever spent away from home,

let alone away from prison.

Unless we do something about it, it won't be the last.

lf l have to spend the rest of my life in that jail cell,

l will go bats!

Bats? Herman, you've got it!

Again?

l haven't done this one in years,

and l just might be a little rusty,

but desperate times call for desperate measures.

[Screeching]

[Laughing]

[Chirping]

l'll bet not many father-in-laws can do that.

That's what l call flying off the handle.

What?

Get!

What is that?

l think you're getting to him, Grandpa.

[Tires screeching]

Roll down the window!

Get out of here!

lsn't that your son's car up ahead?

Where? Where?

BOYLE: Oh, yes. Yes.

Now we'll have a chance to see Glen and his captives.

COMMlSSlONER: Apparently he's also captured a fire hydrant.

BOYLE: Oh.

Glen! Glen!

Where are the prisoners?

lt looks as if we're talking to him.

Hey! What do you know? There really is a Transylvania.

Yeah. Think they're empty?

Don't know. Let's take a look.

What are you, nuts?

What are you scared of?

You seen one stiff, you seen them all.

Are we there yet?

Uh, uh, uh... Put it on board.

Glen, why are you just sitting there?

Because l can't stand up. That's why.

ln fact, l can hardly move.

l thought you were out trying to help Uncle Herman and Grandpa.

Where are they?

l don't know, but the memory of them is still here.

lt's all around us.

That's how l'd like to leave it, too--a memory.

l don't understand.

What's going on here?

l'm off the case.

You're not just giving up, quitting!

Not quitting. l was fired.

By my own father!

Before l was fired, l was conned, coerced,

lied to, and humiliated,

and then l was fired.

And if l hadn't have been fired, l would have quit!

Great! l take it you don't believe in their innocence now.

No comment.

Well, that's really great!

Maybe you never did.

Maybe you'd just like to forget about them completely.

l already have.

While you're at it, why don't you forget about me, too?

Oh! Eddie, l do miss your father so!

He's the only one tall enough to put on the high ornaments.

Uh--uh, Spot! Would you hand me Uncle Frederick?

[Growling]

Thank you.

Oh, Halloween-- who needs it?

l mean, none of the guys are coming anyway,

since l've been blackballed from the club.

Ah, No. Eddie, no. The vulture goes a lot higher.

We'll just have to do that later.

Any sign of them? Any news?

Ack!

5:00, and the big dummy's still missing.

Ack!

Oh! They could be anywhere.

They could have been in an accident or hit by a train.

Your Uncle Herman has never missed a Halloween celebration,

and he's not going to miss this one,

even if he has to get up off the train tracks to do it.

[Singing] Deck the halls

with sprigs of garlic

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Arsenic eggnogs make us frolic

Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaa

[High-pitched singing]

Uncle, please!

Just setting a festive mood for when Herman and Grandpa show up.

lf they show up.

Have a little faith, dear.

Aunt Lily, having faith won't make anything happen.

MARlLYN: Somebody's got to do something,

and if no one else here is interested in finding them...

and clearing their names, l am.

Well, l'd be interested in finding them...

if only l knew where they were!

[Wolf howling]

[Thunder]

Look, Herman! My old ''homestead-o''!

Oh, to see again my old buddy lgor!

Oh, what a wonderful friend!

GRANDPA: Brings back such old memories.

l guess lgor's memory isn't too good.

lgor! lt's us!

Lucky for us, he never was much of a shot. Ha ha ha!

Let's go before he starts getting better.

Yeah!

lt's all clear, Herman. Come on.

Ahh! That lgor-- he was just showing off.

Proving he was guarding the castle.

He's certainly proving it to me.

lgor! Stop this fooling around,

or l'm going to cut off your pension!

Oh! lt's you, master. Ha ha ha!

lt is really you!

And--and me, too, lgor.

Herman? Herman! l remember you when you could hardly walk.

l guess we did a pretty good job.

He seems to be holding together quite well.

[Laughter]

lgor, what's with the flaming arrows, the chandelier,

and hiding in my coffin?

Oh, it's them-- the angry mob...

and Proposition 13 from the last Transylvania election.

Do you know, they voted 19,000 to one...

to burn the castle and kill me?

After all you've done for the community?

They decided they had enough of black magic around here...

after all these years,

and they're going to kill me!

We're in kind of a bind ourselves,

but Grandpa remembered that he had the secret potion.

Master, they're going to murder me. Save me!

They're not. Please, please, lgor.

lgor, lgor, lgor.

We're going to protect you like you protected us...

our family for three centuries.

[Laughter]

You've been a loving, faithful servant, caring--

keeping this fine old castle like it was a shrine.

[Laughter]

That's why, lgor, l could make this journey of 1,000 miles,

knowing that my life-giving potion...

would be exactly where l left...

lgor! What have you done to my laboratory?

Who cares? They're coming.

l had to pack for a quick getaway.

We're in kind of a hurry, too.

lgor, my life-giving potion-- where is it?

Life-giving potion, werewolf formula,

transfer-of-ailments serum-- Who cares?

They're going to kill me!

Herman, start unpacking the crates.

Here they come! l hear them ! They're coming!

Oh, oh! They're coming with--with guns!

[Mob shouting in distance]

And torches! They're coming to kill me.

[Sobbing]

You must stop them, master!

You must save me, your old and trusted servant!

Oh, save me before they--

before they--

[Gagging]

Uh, uh-- before they kill you?

Oh, my golly!

Herman! My life-giving potion.

l found it!

Grandpa, lgor is dead.

GRANDPA: Dead?

My golly, we're really in luck.

Why?

Why? We could try it out. Ha ha ha!

Boy, l sure hope it works.

He was so loving and faithful.

Well, here goes nothing!

Cross your fingers.

Herman, please--no crosses.

Oh.

Sorry, lgor, old faithful friend.

Grandpa!

Herman, the potion-- it worked!

Yeah, well, l suppose you could say it worked.

He's alive.

But look at him. He's homelier than Marilyn.

l'm alive.

l'm really living!

That's thanks-- thanks to my potion.

Wow! ls that me?

l really am living.

Be calm, my son, my faithful friend.

We're together again. We're escaping together.

We're going home together!

What together?

They're after the old lgor.

Hey! They're up here!

l voted with you guys. Save me a torch!

So long, suckers, and thanks!

Well, as they say, you win a few, and you lose a few.

Never mind the homilies. The potion--it works! Hmm-mm.

That mummy is as good as alive!

[Laughter]

MAN: Chamber of Horrors is clear.

MAN ON RADlO: All clear, Michael.

Right.

OK, babies, time for your last roundup.

Let's go.

Uncle Herman! Grandpa!

l knew l'd find you. Thank goodness you're safe.

l know l shouldn't be here.

l was trying to find those robots...

that you were talking about.

Oh, my gosh! They were right.

Come, my babies. That's it.

Take it easy. Easy does it.

Come, my bell-ringer from Notre Dame.

That's a way.

And the axman. That's it. Come on.

Be very careful. Oh, the wolfman, over here.

Everybody here? We got everybody?

Somebody missing, no?

Oh, sure. Come on, sweetheart.

Hurry. You don't want to miss the party.

Stop!

l'm going to throw a party-- the party of all parties.

lt's going to be a party...

that even Nero and Caligula would be jealous of.

lt's too bad you don't have the power to speak...

so you could thank me.

lf l had had the time, l'd have given her the power,

but rush, rush, rush.

Dr. Licklighter, we've heard enough of your testimony!

Ouch!

Hold it! Hmm--

Don't move. Nobody.

Somebody here is not a robot.

There's something a little fishy about this wig...

and this costume.

Oh!

No, don't move. That felt familiar.

Ha ha! That's-a no robot.

Grab her.

MAN: He was sneaking around upstairs.

Two for the price of one, huh?

Glen, what are you doing here?

You aunt told me you were looking to clear your uncle,

and l remembered his crazy story about the robots.

So you did believe him !

l do now.

A lot of other people are going to be believers...

before the night's over.

Wait a minute. lt's Halloween night.

This wouldn't have anything to do with jewels...

and an Egyptian mummy, would it?

Tsk, tsk, tsk. lt's-a too bad.

Ralph, Mike, l think our young couple knows too much.

You take them upstairs to the bridal chamber.

Make them nice and comfy-cosy.

Bye-bye.

Are you sure about sending these two tonight, doctor?

l mean, the way they've been acting.

Stop your craziness. You're making me crazy.

You make everybody crazy.

You worry, worry, worry.

A man in his lifetime has only one night like this!

l let nothing interfere with mine.

-Mike. -Here, doctor.

ls our couple nice and comfy-cosy?

Like a bride and groom on a wedding cake.

Good. Then put on the icing.

Right.

You better save your breath. You're going to need it.

Let's go, Ralph.

Grandpa, they're still there.

GRANDPA: They'll always be there,

until we clear our names.

How do we get in?

The same way we almost got in last time.

Ack!

10:00, and boy, is this a dull party!

Ack!

WOMAN: You can say that again.

l had more fun last time they tried to burn me at the stake.

How about another chorus of ''Deck the Halls''?

[Singing] Deck the halls--

[Choking]

Oh, it just isn't the same without Herman.

When on earth is he going to get here?

[Crash]

l think l hear his footsteps now.

Herman, this is not the time to be unconscious.

Herman!

Lily, l asked you to keep the window unlocked.

Hermie, baby, where have you been?

The whole family's been waiting inside.

They're going to have to wait a little longer,

because Herman and l have a date with a mummy.

What?

Lily, clearing our names has become a little complicated.

More than you think.

Marilyn went to the Wax Museum to do the very same thing.

Wax Museum?

Alone?

We did tell that nice young detective Glen where she went,

so l imagine he went to try to find her.

l'm glad to hear that. Now, Herman,

we have a lot to do and no time to do it.

You can be sure of one thing. Glen is very competent.

He put up a real struggle before those truck drivers beat him up.

Grandpa and l had a heck of a time handcuffing him.

Didn't we?

Herman.

l've got it again?

Yeah! You just told us Marilyn is in big trouble.

Come on! We've got to get to that mummy before midnight.

That means you to the mummy, and Herman and l to the rescue!

Just a bunch of wax dummies up here.

lf they're anywhere, they're probably in the torture room.

HERMAN: l don't know whether to hope they are or they aren't.

Oh, Herman!

There's a secret passage around here somewhere.

[Tap tap tap]

[Tapping echoing]

Funny sound for a wall.

That's not the wall, Herman.

That's coming from over there.

[Tap tap tap]

lt's an SOS!

Oh, Herman! Herman!

l've got it. l've got it. l've got it.

[Grunting]

[Groans]

Herman, hit it. Get mad!

Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn!

l wish Grandpa were here.

Maybe he'd get one of my good ideas.

Herman, perhaps you should go for help.

l'll entertain them while you're gone--

keep up their courage.

[Singing ltalian opera]

Huh?

l think l just got one of Grandpa's good ideas.

Can you sing louder and higher?

Delighted.

[Singing ltalian opera]

Louder! Higher!

Ahem.

[Sustains high note]

Ha ha! Here.

Thanks. You were right about everything.

We can stop that robbery. We can prove it to everybody.

Let's go. Marilyn, the Phantom can take you home, dear.

Oh, oh.

Or maybe you can take the Phantom home.

[Music playing]

Grandpa, we got them. We saved them.

Have--have--have you been able to get to the--

Sure makes you feel like a dummy talking to a dummy.

Excuse me, Grandpa?

Uh, are you Grandpa?

l am, if you're Herman.

Oh, good.

l'd certainly rather be talking to you than to a dummy.

[Laughs]

Those two robots--

their reactions are most unusual.

One of their wires must have come unspliced.

Hold it! No unsplice them. l unsplice your nose.

Leave them alone. They do good.

Your place or mine, handsome?

Uh, no, thanks. l'm with--

Marilyn, what are you doing here?

lt's liable to get rough.

You didn't seem to mind when it came to rescuing me.

Yeah. l almost lost both of our lives doing it.

That's what l mean.

You could use a little looking after.

There's your father!

Dad, it's me. Glen.

Oh, l thought it was Little Orphan Annie.

Go play in your punch bowl. l'm busy.

They're here, and l'm going to bring them in.

lf you mean the Munsters, everything they said was true.

He's right.

l saw the robots with my own eyes,

before they put me in a bell jar to suffocate me.

Both of us!

Luckily, the Phantom sang loud enough...

and cracked the glass,

and they're all here now-- robots, l mean.

They're part of a master plan to steal the mummy's jewels.

l know. lt sounds like l already found a punch bowl.

And drowned in it!

There they are! Get them !

Dad, this is wrong!

Please! They're just trying to clear themselves.

You can't, Dad.

Who can't? That's it, men. Take them away.

Looks like we have two less robots.

Yeah, if they really were robots.

lt seems to me there were two other--

You know what l think?

l think l'd better stop thinking.

That's the best think you ever had.

That think saved your life. Mm-hmm.

At five to midnight, l guess it's us or nobody.

Yeah.

You know, if we could get ahold of that computer,

we could do some damage.

MARlLYN: But it's the money that's the real problem.

lt is for all of us.

Grandpa! Uncle Herman!

You're still here.

Yeah, but what good is it?

We're still trying to find a way to get the potion to the mummy.

ls that really you, Marilyn?

You look beautiful, dear!

You're going to fly off with the first prize.

-Fly off? -What?

-Herman. -What?

You've got it!

l'm back on the beam again?

And none too soon.

Four minutes to countdown.

We'd better hurry.

Herman...l'd better hurry.

[Grandpa screeching]

[Chirping]

OK, Michael, get set.

l think we're ready for the changing of the guard.

Now!

Coffee break.

Great! Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

He did it. He did it!

Don't tell me what he did. Will it work?

lt better, or we'll spend the rest of our lives...

pleading before parole boards.

[Speaking ltalian]

-Did you see that? -What?

Someone's fooling with the lights.

Mike, you're too nervous.

You better tie a string around your tights.

Come on. Speed up the time. Speed up.

WOMAN: May l have your attention, please?

Friends, patrons of the arts, fellow trick-or-treaters,

we indeed have a treat for you tonight.

We are honored to be...

Gave him every drop.

WOMAN: ...in a nationwide tour of one of the world's...

Where's Herman?

Maybe he went to find you.

Oh, no. Please.

Dear Herman. Dear, dear Herman.

This is no time to screw up.

WOMAN: The artifacts you see before you,

lovely as they are,

are but a sampling of what you are about to witness.

lt is only fitting...

that the tomb of a mummy king and its treasures...

should be opened on such a night as Halloween--

a night of goblins and phantoms and the unexpected.

My friends, hold your breaths.

ln a moment, the curtains will be drawn.

Oh, what happened?

The lights!

[Murmuring and protesting]

Come on, beauties. Come, come, sweethearts.

Scoop up the loot. Come on. We go.

Come on! Scoop up the loot!

What's this?

What is going on? Come on.

What is going on--a mutiny?

Their circuits are jammed. Somebody stole my computer.

Come on! Let's get out of here!

What do you mean? Leave without my necklace?

-Yes! -No, no, no, no, no.

My brother, Ramatakanata--

he have the power and the authority for 2,000 years.

Now l'm going to have the power, the authority, and the necklace.

What's wrong? What happened? Why they stop?

l told you. Their circuits are jammed.

l'm not jammed!

l'm going to get my potty-chair.

And that is mine!

All mine!

Aah!

[Speaking in constricted voice]

Hey.

This is not supposed to happen.

Hey, hey, Ramatak, you remember me?

l'm your brother.

Yeah. l'm not fool you. l'm your brother.

Remember? Dustin.

l take new name--Diablo. lt's still me, huh?

Remember we used to play in the desert. Handball.

Remember we play handball in the desert?

We play against the sphinx, remember?

You busted a nose. l not tell mama.

l not tell papa.

lt worked, Grandpa!

You bet it worked!

Hey, how about explanation? Explanation!

BOYLE: Great work, son! l'll take it now.

You'll take it now?

After he's done all the work?

MARlLYN: Why'd you come back?

Something turn you into a believer?

Those robots l arrested really were robots.

l got something else for you to believe.

The real hero's a mummy.

[Screaming]

HERMAN: Well, not exactly a mummy.

Uncle Herman!

Hey, wait a minute. lt's-a no my brother.

But this--this my necklace!

Oh, yes! This mine!

You don't believe, eh?

l show you. Remember l told you the potty?

The potty. My mama give me this-a potty.

On the bottom of the chair is written...

[Speaking fake Arabic]

Yeah, it's written here. Over here.

[Speaking fake Arabic]

That's-a no my potty.

This-a no my brother! This-a no my potty!

l'm in the wrong tomb!

All right, let's go. Come on.

That's no my potty.

Where's my potty?

What happened, Herman?

My youth-rejuvenating potion didn't work?

Well, in a way it did.

l didn't give him enough?

Uh...

Too much.

Coochie-coochie-coo!

[Thunder]

[Knock on door]

Yoo-hoo! Trick or treat!

-Trick or treat! -Hermie, baby!

l knew you wouldn't miss our Halloween gathering.

We saw you on TV, Dad!

-You did? -You were so handsome!

There was a big closeup of you.

Yeah, just before all the sets in the neighborhood went out.

lt's going to be wonderful!

We're all so proud! Aren't we?

lt was a bit hard to swallow.

There are plenty of villains in the family, but never a hero!

Even the guys in the club called to say you were a hero!

You ought to see what they gave us for a reward.

[Women gasp]

Oh!

lt's a genuine replica of the Pharaoh's biggest diamond.

Oh!

The only problem is, who gets to keep it?

l think Grandpa ought to have it for giving the mummy the potion.

Oh, but you caught Dr. Diablo.

But you stole the computer and stopped the robots.

You believed in us and helped save Marilyn's life.

But the Phantom saved both their lives.

So, you see what l mean. Who gets to keep it?

Ah! Welcome home, Herman!

Welcome home, Grandpa!

[Singing] Boys, welcome...

Home!

Ooooh!

Wait a minute!

-l've got an idea. -l've got an idea!

-We'll give... -a piece...

to...

everybody!

Ack!

2:00 in the morning,

and the whole dumb family's back together.

Ack!