All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S09E07.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

- Previously on "All Stars"...

- I don't know if I can do this.

No, no, no, no.

Wait.

- Mik, I'm honestly so sorry.

- Roxxxy is just the saddest
front-runner I've ever seen.

- Which queen is
secretary of delusion?

- Am I delusional?

- Honestly, Sis, I feel like
you think that you're gonna

win some of these challenges.

- Michelle's vagina is so deep,

Leah Remini is still hiding
from Scientology in there.

- Brilliant.

- Nina West is so damn ugly,
she went to her proctologist,

and bitch,
he just takes his finger

and sticks it in her mouth.

I ain't lying.

- You are naturally funny.

I'm so proud of you.

The top two All Stars
of the week are...

Angeria and Plastique.

What?

- Condragulations.

You've each earned
a Beautiful Benefactress Badge.

This is your chance
to earn the power

to cut off one
of your fellow queens

from receiving a Beautiful
Benefactress Badge next week.

Angeria, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

With great power comes
great responsibility.

- Well, maybe
we shouldn't do that.

- Um, OK, can you give me
one second to pray about it?

Bitch, I'm stalling.

- The Lord hath spoken.

- Snip, snip, bitch.

All right, bitch.

- Bitch.

Bitch, am I still delusional?

Two badges... check.

$20,000 for the National Black
Justice Coalition... check.

Cut Roxxxy Andrews again...

check.

- Hi, Roxxxy.

- Poor me.

- Poor you.
- Hi.

- OK, I'm dying.

My God.

- How's it going?

- It's going good.

How are you feeling?

- So good.

- Good.

- This is war of
the snippers, honey.

It is insane.

Angeria cut off Roxxxy.

Roxxxy cut off Angeria.

And now Angeria cut off
Roxxxy again?

- Um, how do you actually feel?

- So I expected this.

I have the most badges,
and I get that.

As far as how I'm feeling
is that you are

playing a different game
than I'm playing.

I don't believe
it's just for badges.

I'm not gonna buy it.

So I'm good.

- Well, no, Roxxxy. I...

- I'm good.
- No. Wait, wait.

No, 'cause...
- I'm good.

- Bitch, Roxxxy is mad.

- What game do you think
she's playing?

I'm just asking.

- There was a lot that happened
on stage tonight

that I feel like was more acted
out because it's an easy pick.

Literally, I expected you
to just go, snip, snip, bitch.

You got the most badges. Bye.

No, no.

- It was too many dramatics.

I didn't come here for all that.

- I swear, Roxxxy, like,

I really didn't know what to do.

I was not faking it.
No, bitch.

Like, girl, I was stalling.

I also owed Gottmik
because she cut me off.

So, girl, I ain't even know
who I was gonna choose.

- We're gonna keep
continuing to work.

I can't get a badge next week,
and that's no tea.

- What is the badge count?

- I ain't got one,
so I don't know.

- I'm three.
- I'm two.

- Two.
- Two.

- Two.
- Three.

Three?

My queen.

- I'm not really good
at anything, you guys.

Let me just put that out there.

- No, not at all.

Nina, how you feeling?

- I didn't deliver, you know?
And...

- I think you delivered.

- I think you delivered.

- But I didn't, you know?

Otherwise,
I'd have another badge.

I'm sitting here with one badge.

And then, when you say
you're not good at anything,

and I'm really good
at something,

and I'm not rising to the top,
it's frustrating to me.

- It was just luck.

I just... I'm just...

Yikes.

- Let's get out of drag.
Fuck this.

- At the beginning
of this competition,

I don't think anyone
anticipated me

excelling in these challenges.

You want to see me
take off my corset?

So I've been flying
under the radar

and sneaking to the top
like a ninja.

Hi-ya!
- Ninja.

- And now I feel so strong.

Fee, fi, fo, fum!

At the same time, absolutely,
I am a target now.

- Mama, you getting snipped.

My God.

I can just feel the eyes
just glaring at me,

and it feels...

good.

The winner of "RuPaul's
Drag Race All Stars"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot in
the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame,

and a $200,000 donation

to the charity of their choice,

courtesy of The Palette Fund.

With extra-special guest judge
Colton Haynes.

- Let's do it.

- Yes!

Another day, another slay.

- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, everybody.

We are more than halfway
through the competition,

and the game is
so close right now.

One badge could make
all of the difference.

So this week,
I'm coming for the top spot.

That's the only time I'll
ever say something like that.

- Let me tell you something.

I was doing a little math.

No.

Here you go, bitch.

- You know how, like,
everyone's been blocking

the one with the most badges,
right?

I was thinking about it,

and there's three spots
at the finale.

So if you want
to get to that spot,

you should cut
the people who have

the same amount
of badges as you.

Then they can't get any higher.

If you block off
the highest person...

- They're gonna still have high.

- They're still gonna have
the highest badges.

- Girl, you just don't want
to get cut off this week.

- Hello, hello, hello.

Hi.

- All right, Mama.

- Good morning, ladykins.

Good morning.

- So you've all been
working tirelessly,

and even the best queens
can get a little emotional.

But I'm here to remind you that
when life gives you lemons,

make fruit salad.

Pit crew.

For today's mini challenge,
we're gonna play

a game of Fruity Patootie.

You need to move the contents
of a beautiful fruit basket,

one piece at a time,
to fill an empty basket.

By the way, all of the produce
we're playing with today

is considered fruit.

The more you know.

Now, the All Star that
transfers the most

fruit in 90 seconds wins.

Now, here's the fun part.

To carry the fruit,
you can only use your...

between-me-down-there.

Today's winner will win
immunity from being cut off...

- By the ruby snippers
tomorrow on the main stage.

My God.

- This is crazy!

Being the front-runner
right now,

I want the immunity so bad.

- Let's play Fruity Patootie!

Ready, set go!

- Whoa!

- Yeah!
- Drop it.

- It looks really easy,
but it is hard.

- Can you take it, Shannel?

- She can take it!

- It's not the large
pieces of fruit.

Eggplant.

- It's the small,
itty-bitty ones that just

kind of get lost in the walk.

- Come on, girl!

- And then you have to drop it
off in the basket,

and if it bounces out
of the basket, you're fucked.

And you gotta start over
and run your ass back.

- You put seven pieces
of fruit in that basket.

- Ooh, bitch!

- Go!

- Yes.

- Wow, she's...
- good job, girl.

- Child, listen.

Running back and forth with
the fruit between the legs...

it's like when your
tuck starts slipping,

and you're trying to punch it
to the back of the main stage.

- Corn.

- Whoo, my nuts!

And Bruno... my God,
he got that...

Put it in there.

It's too early for all that.

- Five pieces of fruit.

Yeah, she gonna
mix that salad up now.

- Are you in position?
- I'm ready.

I stay ready.

- [laughs] Go!

My God, Bruno.

Yeah.

- Can you take it?

I can take anything.

I wouldn't want anybody else

but Bruno to put fruit in me.

- You're no stranger
to the produce section.

- OK, just shove it in there.

Come on, girl.

Whoa, wait a minute.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- Bitch, I ain't no stranger
to nothing in between my legs.

But...

- Her face.

- The face!

- Normally, when I put
something up there girl,

I don't run from it.

- Squat, squat.

OK!

- Go, go, go!

My God, my God, my God.

- I'm a jock!

I'm a jock!

- Wow.
- All right!

- I've had to cut off
two people now,

so that's two people
that I have not made

the happiest in the world.

So I need that immunity.

Safe zone down.

- Here's the kiwi.

- Shove it in, girl.

It's harder than it looks,
you guys.

Maybe back into it.

Fuck!

No.

Where is it?

- Get it in there.

- Bruno shoved it up there.

- All the way up in there.

Ooh, her shit is bananas.

- This ain't
"RuPaul's Dragon Fruit Race."

- You got it.

Come on.

- "March of the Penguins."

- You can do it.

You can do it.

- I was like, where is it?

- Roxxxy's got
quite a grip there.

That's right, Bruno.

Watch your hand, Bruno.

Roxxxy got that dump truck.

Here comes the cucumber.

- Get, get, get, get.

I'm making pickles, Ru.

My gosh.

- She sliced and diced
that motherfucker.

- I mean, I've got meaty thighs,

so that could be the problem.

- Avocado.

- And we got chips 'cause
I'm making fucking guacamole.

- She got messy pants.

My God.

My gosh.

Of all the days
to wear white pants.

- I know.

- All Stars, you were all
fresh and fruity,

but one of you kept your thighs
on the prize.

- With a total
of nine pieces of fruit,

the winner of today's
mini challenge is Nina West.

- Whoo!

She's organic.

- That's right, and she's
got the stains to prove it.

- Condragulations.

You've won immunity from
getting cut off this week.

- My winning
the immunity challenge

keeps everybody who has three
badges open for being cut off.

This could be a power move.

- Thank you, pit crew.

And remember to always rinse
your fruit before you eat it,

because you never know
where it's been.

- Bye, guys.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- My All Stars,
for this week's maxi challenge,

you get to unleash your
inner bitch as we pay tribute

to classic camp movies,
like "Valley of the Dolls,"

"Mildred Pierce,"
"Mommie Dearest,"

"Dynasty,"
"The Boys in the Band,"

"All About Eve,"
"The Mirror Cracked,"

and Michelle Visage's
favorite, "Showgirls,"

in the original short film
"Meeting in the Ladies Room."

Each of you will be
costarring in a scene

with one of the biggest bitches
working in Hollywood today...

me.

- Shut up!
- Shut up!

- Now, I'll leave you
with your script.

Your parts have
already been assigned

and created just for you.

All Stars,

start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- Ooh.

- Come on, pick me
a highlighter.

- We are actors.

- This week's maxi challenge,
we'll be starring

in the short film
"Meeting in the Ladies Room."

- So we're gonna be
acting with Ru.

- This does not
happen every day.

This is an honor.
- Literally.

- Is anybody nervous
to act with her?

- Just a little.
- Of course.

- Just a little.
- Pressure?

- I'm so excited for
this acting challenge

because it's asking all of us
to be larger-than-life,

melodramatic,
camp versions of ourselves.

Angie, now that you
know what the challenge is,

do you think you cut off
the right person this week?

- Absolutely.

Roxxxy is an actress.

- I'm good at being bitchy.

- Hey, see?

It is important for me to do
well in this challenge

because we already know that
the girls are no stranger

to wanting to cut my ass.

- All right,
let's go learn our lines.

- And bitch, I just won,
which puts an extra target

right on my back again.

So there's no ifs, ands,
or buts about it, bitch.

I need to make sure that
this performance is going

to get me in that top two.

- Roxxxy Andrews...
parody of "Dynasty."

- You must be Roxxxy Andrews.

- Thank you for inviting me
here, Ruth Paul.

I love "Dynasty."

"Dynasty" is Diahann Carroll,
Joan Collins,

the divas, the OGs, the GOATs.

So I gotta kind of, like,
tune back to Season 5 Roxxxy...

you know, pageant, snarky,
kind of "I'm better than you"

kind of vibe.

You know, it's gonna be
funny, and I couldn't have

written any better for myself.

- What movie is your
scene inspired by?

- So "Mommie Dearest,"

and the fight scene
with the reporter.

They end up on the floor,
rolling around,

which, sadly, is not in here,

which would have been
really great.

I think it's gonna be
easy to go into bitch mode

with this role because my
general aesthetic definitely is

the evil queen, the villain.

But the reality is,
I'm not a bitch.

I'm just painted this way.

I cannot fail, because
I haven't won a fucking badge.

I can't be the Susan Lucci
of this season.

- My scene is inspired
by "Valley of the Dolls,"

which, I think,
is, like, Ru's favorite movie.

- Of course.

- I mean,
it's like, no pressure.

It has been so long since
I've gotten a badge placed

on my beautiful lapel,
and I still haven't raised

$1 for The Trevor Project.

Is the toilet that way?

- Yes.

- However, this might be
a really good week for me,

because this is what I do.

I have done theater
professionally,

so I am prepped.

I'm like an oiled
race car, honey.

Vroom, vroom, vroom.

- Hi, everybody.
- Hi, everybody.

Happy Saturday.

- Happy Saturday.

- Why is it square?

Sister.

- I was like, ooh, I got
a perfect wig for this.

My God, wait.

What is your thing, again?

- "Boys in the Band" parody.

It's about somebody's smoking
weed and is late to the party.

And then RuPaul's getting mad
that I'm late to the party

and that I'm high.

- Y'all, look at Jorgeous.

My God, what is this wig?

She definitely gotta be high
to put that on.

- What'd you get?

- "Showgirls."

We all know what that is.

- See y'all later.

- With those
legendary strippers.

I do have legit
acting experience

outside of "Drag Race."

I was Toto in "Wizard of Oz,"
in a school play.

And they were like,
you just bark

whenever you feel... you know.
I said, OK.

Bitch, I was like a chihuahua.

How do you feel after last week?

I know you were kind of
having a moment.

- Yeah.

- Last week was, like,
really hard for me.

- You had some fun jokes.

It's just,
you seemed more reserved.

Before, I've seen you
come out and, like,

lay it all on the line.

- It was, like, damn,
that's so sad to hear.

- Yeah.
- And I can't even

communicate back,
because I'm gonna cry.

And I don't even cry that much,
so, like, having that emotion...

I was like figuring that out.

- Yeah.

- That's why Mik
was, like, completely

quiet in... on the show.

- I was literally,
like, hiding my face

'cause I was like, my God,

I cannot have
someone look at me.

I was, like, hiding.

I was like, no.

We've all heard
that boys don't cry.

I even have it tattooed on me.

I don't know if it's
some, like, trans, like,

toxic masculinity thing
or something, but it really is,

I don't know, rooted in me.

I'm like, no, like,
don't show that right now.

You look up "trans guy,"
and it's just the most buff,

masculine guy you've
ever seen in your life.

So I put a lot of pressure
on myself to be what

society tells us masculine is.

There's no way I'm the only
one that feels like that,

so what am I doing
hiding this away?

I should be talking about it
and opening up to you guys.

- I'm really glad,
like, you are,

like, opening up,
like, right now.

It's just important for us to,
like, have, like, each other.

- Boys do cry, gorge,
and that's fine.

- Y'all, thanks for listening.

I love you guys.

I'm gonna get that
tattoo crossed out.

Hopefully, this is, like,
a jumping point,

and I can just find a way
to, like, keep pushing

and get back into it and let go.

- OK, Jorgeous.

- It's time to film

"Meeting in the Ladies Room"
with Mother Ru.

- I think you should close
the door, stay at the door,

and go, happy birthday, RuPaul,
and then walk over.

- OK. Yes.
- You know?

- Honestly, I'm kind of nervous
because she is so professional,

so I need to make sure
I'm professional too.

Happy birthday, RuPaul.

- You're late.

- What I am, RuPaul,
is a 23-year-old, stunning...

- Slower, slower.
- Slower?

- "What I am, RuPaul."

- OK.
- You know what I mean?

You can just take your time,

because you are
letting him have it.

- OK. [laughs]
- Yeah.

- RuPaul has been giving me
so much great advice,

and these past couple weeks,

I really have started
to apply it to the challenges.

What I am, RuPaul, is...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
That's it.

- And I feel like
my confidence with these

acting challenges is through
the roof right now.

I feel like I will slay it.

I got you, Ru.

- You on your mark there?

There you go.

- Going into filming
my scene with Ru,

I am shitting my pants.

Because I am not
one of your fans!

Did I just say "fans"?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm feeling a lot of pressure
to make Ru proud

because I feel like
I still haven't done that

so far in this competition,

and that's kind of fucking
with me in my head a bit.

- Your charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, and talent?

- You give away
the joke too early.

You're making talent the joke,
but you should say,

what's fresh?

That's the joke.

It's not the talent.

- Fresh?
- Yeah.

- Fresh.

The parody I've got is from
the movie "All About Eve."

My character pretends
to be an ingenue,

but deep down,
she's a cold-hearted bitch who

knows what she wants, and
she's not afraid to snatch it

from anybody.

So pretty accurate.

I want to take over
"Drag Race."

- The champagne's burned.

- That's not champagne.

The hardest part of filming
the scene with RuPaul

is not cracking up.

Thank you, Ms. Paul,
for whatever this was.

Fuck.
Girl, I gotta get it together.

- Let's talk about
your entrance.

- I was thinking,
like, if I came in,

had my back turned,
shut the door.

I like that.

- I thought this was
the ladies room.

"Valley of the Dolls"
is high camp.

Everything's drama.

Like, pauses, breaths, looks.

- And you know,
I think I'm doing that.

- It's great. It's great.

I love it.

- Mama Ru, I got
this $200,000 check...

hold on, wait.

Let me do that again.

OK.
- Yep, go on.

Yeah, you can walk through
the door, or you can go around.

No, that's fine.

I want to do it the right way.

I am parodying the film
"Mildred Pierce."

It is very old
Hollywood actress vibes,

honey, so you know,
this is in my wheelhouse.

She's an actress, darling.

- And then you could stop there
and look at me

in the theater way.

And... [laughs]

OK.

- Did that work?
- That's perfect.

That's what's we gonna do.
- All right.

- Should we hit it and quit it?
- Let's do it.

- Turn it and burn it?
- All right.

- All right.

I feel like I released
a lot of weird shit

I had in my brain for
the first time in so long,

and I'm so ready for this parody

of "The Mirror Cracked."

I mean, come on, shady bitches?

That's my type of humor, honey.

Well, I see you've kept
your gorgeous figure,

and you've added so much to it.

Doing this with Ru is
literally my dream.

- Wait!

Wait, come back.
Come back.

- I hate your suit!

Getting to just have fun

couldn't have come
at a better time.

The next one... all improv.

Let's go.

- I'm not a stripper.
I'm a dancer.

And Mama, I'm good.

- What dance is that?

- The electric boogaloo.
- OK.

- "Showgirls"
is about strippers,

so I think this is good for me.

- Just slow that part down.

- OK.

I'm not a stripper.

I'm not a dancer.

- Wait a minute.
What? Wait, what?

You're not a dancer?

What are you, again?
- I'm a dancer.

- Let's walk through the door
one more time,

and we're gonna determine
what you are.

- Not a stripper.
A dancer.

- OK.
- Solid gold.

Take one.

- Take three.

- [shrieks] No!

- I felt really good
during the filming.

I was confident.

I was present.

I listened to my scene partner.

And so I'm hopeful that that
performance pays off today.

- Shannel, girl,
how was your scene?

- She didn't seem to be
laughing too much.

Shit.

- It threw me off a bit.

My charity that I've chosen

is the Anxiety and Depression
Association of America.

It is very near
and dear to my heart

because I do experience anxiety.

I don't feel overly positive
going into this, though.

I don't.
- OK.

- And right now,
I'm definitely feeling it.

I'm in my head going,
you need a badge.

Like, what the fuck is going on?

Am I not up to par?

I am my own worst critic,
for sure.

- How are you feeling
today, now?

- I'm feeling better.

Having fun with Ru
and stuff made me, like,

realize that I just need
to, like, let go,

and it was so fun.

- I could hear y'all laughing.

- We were laughing so hard.

- I love it.

- I've never really opened
up and dealt with my emotions

the way I have been here,
and this experience has really

made me want to fight
for Trans Lifeline

even more than
I wanted to before.

I mean, feeling really sad
and feeling really alone

is something that
you can literally

call Trans Lifeline about.

They are here for you
to talk it out.

- So who has not
been snipped yet?

- Me, Shannel, Plastique,
and Vanjie.

- I have not.

- Lucky bitch
with your fucking immunity.

- I'm immune this week.

- And then who has
the most badges?

Let's do that reminder too.

- OK.

- Wow.

- Look at Plastique.

Look at Plastique.

No.

Why are we bringing out
the snippers?

I love you, Plastique.

- OK, back to my mathematical
equation yesterday.

- Let's start throwing
those out again.

- At this point, I have
a huge target on my back.

That's why I've been trying
to sell my new math theory.

- Not the equation.

- Hopefully, it works.

- So Roxxxy and Angie...

so...
- Here come the shades.

- No, no, no, no, no.

We're just making sure you
guys are on better terms from,

like, what happened on
the couch when we left off.

- It wasn't about getting
the snippers,

'cause I expected it.

I had the most badges.

I felt like everybody
would have snipped me.

It was just... I
was in my feelings.

I just needed to sleep,
and the next day,

I was like, you know what?

It probably wasn't
an easy decision for her.

- Right.

- And I apologized.

I can't tell people
how to feel, you know,

'cause I had an emotional week
the week before.

And some of y'all probably
looked at me like,

this bitch is fucking crazy.

- I think it'd be fun if Roxxxy
and Angie just keep snipping

each other the whole show.

My God.

- Whoever does it,
don't take up too long tonight.

- OK, first of all, bitch,
it's not an easy decision

when you up there.

- Just let me know
so we can sit down.

Ha!

- Come on in.

Welcome to the main stage of
"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars."

Michelle Visage, you used to be
in the girl group Seduction.

You used to be big.

- I am big.

It's my breasts that got small.

He's the Crystal to my Alexis...

style superstar Carson Kressley.

- Blake is my husband
and has been for a long time.

Stay away from him.

Do I make myself clear?

- Crystal clear.

- And our extra special
guest judge, Colton Haynes.

Are you ready for
your close-up, darling?

- Well, I brought my Vaseline,
Ru, so let's do it.

This week,
we challenge our All Stars

to get slap-happy
in the most divalicious

acting challenge ever.

And tonight on the runway,
category is,

"Widow, Weep For Me."

All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- Category is
"Widow, Weep For Me."

Up first, Nina West.

- They call her
the Widow Von Don't.

- I am living my Disney
Haunted Mansion fantasy,

walking down the runway in
this look, and at the bottom

are all of my former lovers,
who have died.

Excuse me.

- Then I reveal
to my wedding dress

because I'm done crying
over that man,

and I'm ready to find another.

- Wow, talk about a mood swing.

Up next, Roxxxy Andrews.

- Lizzie Borden
for Diane von Furstenberg.

- Baby, the widow doll
is walking

down the runway,
sporting this corseted,

gorgeous wedding gown.

I have blood dripping
all down my chest, baby,

because I just killed my husband

right before the honeymoon, OK?

I don't want that dick.
I want your coins.

And I cut his ass,
and I feel beautiful!

- The name on everybody's
warrant is going to be Roxxxy.

- Up next,
Angeria Paris VanMicheals.

- My, what a tangled web
behind your weave.

- I'm giving you
Black Widow fantasy, bitch.

Built into my hair,
I have an urn, honey.

It's where I keep all
of my dead husband's ashes

after I done captured 'em in
my web and I done killed 'em,

and then that's how
I become a widow.

- You know,
she ate her last husband.

- Up next, Plastique Tiara.

My God.

- For this runway,
I am wearing a traditional

Vietnamese custom-printed
silk áo dài,

which is our ceremonial attire
for any special occasion.

It is, honestly, a piece of art,

but also a piece of me,
my culture,

and everything that I am.

- Is the train still running?

- Yeah, apparently it is.

Up next, Shannel.

Do not buy an apple
from this woman.

- I was gonna say that.

- I start walking down
the runway in my huge,

black cover-up
as this sad widow.

And then when I get to the end
of the runway, it comes off,

and I am now able to rejoice
in all of the wealth

that I have gained
from my now-dead husband.

- Thanks for the inheritance,
Daddy.

Up next, Jorgeous.

Dear!

- As I'm walking
down the runway,

I'm crying in this tissue.

Were those diamonds?

- And then I reveal
into this sickening

red corset dress that's
fitting my body so right.

So, even though
my husband's dead,

I am living my best life.

My God, she puts
the "fun" in funeral.

- Yes!

Up next, Gottmik.

You heard of the red carpet.

This is the red tar pit.

- I designed this look,

and then Marco Marco
executed it.

It's a melting-candelabra

widow ghost situation,
and I'm living.

Girl, I'm not just
going to the funeral.

I am the funeral.

- This is why we need
to eliminate fossil fuels.

Up next, Ms. Vanjie.

- The bastard done died.

I'm giving you
lace body-ody-ody,

fake fur coat.

I see this is
a New Orleans funeral.

- New Whore-leans.
- New Whore-leans.

- This is how you come
to the funeral... sexy,

'cause now that
the bastard died,

you gotta find your new husband.

Secure that check.

- I think she fucked
her husband to death.

- I think you're right.

Welcome, queens.

It's time for the world premiere

of "Meeting
in the Ladies Room."

After a busy day on the set,

I like to treat myself

to a long, hot, thick, black

cup of coffee.

Black butter coffee...
it's good.

- Cut. Take five, Ru.

Great.

- Sorry, I thought
this was the ladies room.

- Well, I don't see any ladies.

- So it's come to this,
the great RuPaul

doing coffee commercials.

You know, I could always get you

a part playing my grandmother.

- I already turned down
the parts you're playing.

- There's only one star
of a Nina West show,

and that's Nina West,

and that's me, baby, remember?

- They drummed you
right out of "Hairspray,"

so you come crawling
back to "Drag Race."

Well, "Drag Race"
doesn't go for cheap wigs

and cha-cha heads.

Now move your ass, 'cause I got
a man waiting for me.

- And if by "man"
you mean Michelle Visage,

that's a switch from
the queens you're usually

stuck working with.

- Well, at least I never
cockeyed with one.

- You take that back!

RuPaul! Michelle!

Nina West!

Is the toilet that way?

- Yeah. Get out.

- Hello.

- You must be Roxxxy Andrews.

- Thank you for inviting me
here, Ruth Paul.

- That's RuPaul,
and I didn't invite you.

You were summoned.

I heard you've been
asking questions about me

for a magazine exposé.

What have you heard?

- That you caused
the stock market crash

of 1929.

From 1942 to 1957,

you danced in
a Tijuana donkey show...

- I loved that donkey!

- Under the name of Cupcake.

And you replaced Michelle
Visage with an AI robot

three seasons ago.

Condragulations, Roxxxy Andrews.

Only two of those things
were true.

- This champagne is burned.

Darling, it's not champagne.

It's my urine sample.

- You bitch!

- It takes one to know one.

- Thank you, Ms. Paul,
for whatever this was.

Validate my parking?

- Mama Ru.

- Angeria, what you doing
up in here?

- I just found this
prize check for $200,000,

and I'm taking it for myself.

- You'd do anything for money,
wouldn't you?

Even blackmail.

- What did you call me?

- Angeria,
what's gotten into you?

- With this check,
I can get away from you

and these terrible queens
and your cheap perfume.

And I ain't lying.

- My perfume ain't cheap.

Angeria,
I feel like I'm seeing you,

really seeing you,
for the very first time,

and you're horrible.

And gorgeous.

- You think just because
you're a drag queen,

you can get some new hair
and expensive gowns

and turn yourself into a lady?

- Yes!

That is the definition
of a drag queen, dear.

Now give me this check.

Ain't nobody gonna get this.

"I ain't lying."

Now get out.

Get out before I eliminate you!

- Would you consider donating
to the Drag Defense Fund?

Thank you.

- RuPaul, did you get my note?

- I didn't get no note.

What note?

- I want to take over
"Drag Race"!

- After everything
I've done for you?

Don't you know this show
was created for me?

- It might have been,
16 years ago,

when your charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, and talent was fresh?

- [scoffs] You know,
Michelle was right about you.

You've been studying me like
an online makeup tutorial.

But you can't take away my show.

You ain't gonna
take away my show.

- I already have.

The network thinks millions
of TikTok fans might agree.

So do Ross and Carson.

I had a lot of fun
persuading them together,

and it wasn't over brunch.

- You'd do all of that for
a reality competition series?

- I'd do a lot more
for a TV show this good.

- [cackles] Over my dead body.

That won't be necessary.

- You...

- Hey, hey.

Tighten your tongue.

It's gonna be a bumpy night.

- Can I still get
the drink tickets you promised?

- This is all you gonna get.

Bye, bitch.

- "Drag Race Vietnam,"

here I come, I guess.

Or not.

- Excuse me,
I really need to pee.

- Shannel, why did you
deliberately defy me?

- I'm sorry, what?

- You embarrassed me
in front of a reporter.

In front of a reporter!

- Wait, are we doing a bit?

- I don't ask much
from you, girlie.

- OK, this is a bit.

OK, why did you invite me
to "All Stars"?

Why did you

invite me to "All Stars"?

- You're the great Shannel,
the first queen

to walk into the Werk Room.

- But if I'm so great,
then why won't you treat me

like I would be treated by any
tourist on the Las Vegas Strip?

- I think that was my line,
but just go ahead.

- Because I am not
one of your OnlyFans!

You just love to make me
hit you, don't you?

- That was definitely
my line, bitch.

- I am not mad at you, RuPaul.

I am mad at this bitch.

Can I go pee now?

- Yeah, it's just...
it's right over there.

- OK, OK.

Ooh.

- Happy birthday, RuPaul.

- Jorgeous, you're stoned.

- Excuse me?

- I clearly told you to be here

at approximately 8:30-8:31.

You're late.

- What I am, RuPaul,
is a 23-year-old, stunning,

hot-ass Texas drag queen.

And if it takes me a minute
to pull my look together,

and if I smoke a little grass
before I decide

to show this gorgeous mug
to the world,

it's nobody's damn business
but mine.

And how are you today?

- You know you're
absolutely stunning.

- I know, right?

- I mean, you look terrible,
and I'm absolutely stunned.

- I didn't feel a...

I didn't even feel a thing.

OK, I felt that one.

- Yeah.

- You know what?

- Bet you didn't see
that one coming.

- Don't look down at me.

- Can I get your autograph?

It's for my parole officer.

Sure.

My God, thank you.

- Parole officers just love me.

Perfect.

You know, everybody
in the penal system...

- they just adore me.
- My God, same.

Me too.

- Thank you.

- I thought this was
the ladies room,

not the trolls after-party.

- Why, Gottmik,
what a delightful surprise.

- Ru, darling, you look gorge.

Of course, the lights
are dim in here.

Any dimmer,
and I'd need a seeing eye dog.

- Don't bother, dear.

With that face,
you could play Lassie.

That's right.

You already did.

- I see you've kept
your gorgeous figure,

and you've added so much to it.

- What are you doing here?

I thought the free clinic
was across the street.

- I heard this was your funeral,

and I assumed there'd be
an open casket and an open bar.

You know what they say...

once a drag queen,
always a drag queen.

- I'm familiar with the saying,

but what does that have to do
with you?

[scoffs] Ru,

you are one of my oldest,
oldest friends.

Chin up... both of them.

- Gottmik, you know there are

two things
I dislike about you...

your face.

By the way, I hate that suit.

- Coming from you,
that's a compliment.

- Hey, Mama, you like my dress?

It's for dancin'.

- Well, well, well,
if it ain't Ms. Vanjie,

back from stripping
at The Cougar.

- You don't know me.

I'm not a stripper.

I'm a dancer,
and Mama, I'm good.

- I don't know
how good you are, darling,

but if you're working at
The Cougar, it ain't dancing.

- I also do nails.

I could do your nails.

Look at 'em.
- Ooh.

- Look at 'em.
Look, look, look.

- I'm getting a bit too old
for that whorey look.

- You said it, not me,
and I'm not no whore.

- You are a whore, darling.

We all are.

We take the check.

We cash the check.

We show 'em
what they want to see.

- A check?

Mama, this ain't 1995.

I get paids on the phone.

What's that smell?

It's doggy chow.
You want some?

It's delicious,
delicious, delicious.

Whoa! OK...

- No, thanks.

Nice tits, by the way.

It's amazing what paint
and a surgeon can do.

- Hold on.

Let me get myself together.

I told you I'm not a whore.

My glass eye!

This bitch done knocked
my glass eye out.

- Oops, I gotta go!

- She done... stop!

Somebody help me!

This bitch done knocked
my glass eye out.

Where my eye at?

- What a terrible thing
to happen

to such a great star, RuPaul.

Can I sneak you out the back?

- I'll go out the way I came in.

- Hey, Ru.
What are you...

- Wait just a minute, RuPaul.

- Come here.

Welcome, queens.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

Up first, Nina West.

- This look... I could talk
till I'm blue in the face.

- You know, I love all the
macabre Victoriana of it all.

A very polished
and successful piece.

- Thanks, Carson.

- In your
"Meeting in the Ladies Room,"

from the minute you walked in,
I was riveted.

It was just enough over
the top where it needed to be.

- You could have
not had any lines,

and you still would have shined.

- You were very prepared,
you were present,

and you were very funny.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Up next, Roxxxy Andrews.

- You were breathtaking
in that scene.

- Thank you.

- I was laughing the whole time.

The look, the hair
was ridiculous,

and I really loved
your performance.

- Thank you.

- I would have loved maybe
a little more over the top

just because I love camp,

but let's move on
to this runway look.

This is so smart, you know,
because when you think

of like widow and weeping,
you automatically

go to dark and dreary.

You did white.

It was one of my favorite
looks of the night.

- Was there anything
you had planned that

you didn't get to do
in the scene?

- No.

I drank your piss sample and...

- Genius.

- Up next, Angeria.

- You gave us something
really beautiful,

a gorgeous silhouette,
and then you camped it up

with the urn detail and the web.

Just really fun to look at.

- Your physical comedy was
just on a whole other level.

There was a moment where,
after Ru had slapped you,

the way you walked off...

it was perfect.

- You know what
the Angeria character is,

and guess what you brought.

Angeria, to the scene.

You're a natural.

Up next, Plastique.

- For me, the highlight in the
"Meeting in the Ladies Room"

was after you got slapped,
and you sounded like

you just got a tooth pulled.

That was a funny choice.

- And this look... meh.

No, I'm kidding.

Obviously.

It's just breathtaking.

- They need to build a coliseum
in Vegas just for this outfit.

I could slap you.

- One more time?

Up next, Shannel.

- The first thing I wrote was,

"Please beat me
with a wire hanger.

Mommy, please."
- Let's do it.

- Yeah.
- I'm into it.

- The wardrobe choice

was the perfect look.

I mean, I was like,
Barbara, please.

Please, Barbara.

- And this look tonight is

so rich and weirdly tasteful,

and that doesn't happen a lot
with these looks

'cause it's so easy
to go overboard with them.

- You know, it was interesting
because I don't know

if you were nervous,
but I didn't feel you

connect with me
during the scene.

What was that?

- I think I've struggled
in the competition.

I was on this show
so many years ago.

There comes a time where
you start to feel like,

maybe I just can't keep up
with everybody.

- But let me tell you this.

We all have this voice,

but we don't let it
drive the car.

Bitch, you are one
of the most famous

drag queens in the world,

and you have been
for over 15 years.

You are so fabulous,

and that's the only thing
you have to remember.

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

Amen!

- Up next, Jorgeous.

- This is exactly how
I would think that

Jorgeous would do a funeral.

Try to be all serious, and then

you'd have to be a hoochie
in the end.

- What I loved about your
"Meeting in the Ladies Room"

is that, since we had
this little breakthrough

in our roast challenge,
I feel like

a little proud auntie,
'cause I see you going for it.

Normally, you would have been
really self-conscious,

and you had a really good time.

You delivered.

- Yes, bitch, yes.

Thank you, Michelle.

- You're welcome.

- And what was the story
with that wig?

- I was like, I need
some crazy, campy shit.

And I literally pulled it
out of the box,

and it was shaped like a box.

I'm like, perfect.

- I loved it.

It was so dumb.

- Thank you.

- Up next... drip, drip, bitch.

Gottmik.

- Ooh. Hi.

- Honestly,
this is so beautiful.

This melting wax that lights up.

And wow, wow, wow,
is that all rubber?

- Yes, it's all latex.

We did, like, little
parts at a time.

- It's unbelievable.

- Gottmik, comedy or, really,
just acting in general

really feels like it comes
so naturally to you.

- Yeah, I thought it was
a confident

and comfortable performance.

Like, in the original movie,
they're like frenemies.

They're kind of being
complementary in a

"bless her heart" kind of way.

You gave it a nice,
different twist.

- In "The Mirror Cracked,"
they're doing

cutting disguised as sweet.

You did cutting, no disguise.

Up next, Ms. Vanjie.

- You look incredibly sexy
tonight, just so beautiful.

I think all of us were kind of
watching you walk away.

- You got the best movie to do.

Have you ever seen it?

- I have seen it,
yes, like, twice.

- OK.

It was definitely
a new interpretation.

- "Showgirls" is also one
of my favorite films,

and it definitely was
a different interpretation.

But I know what I'm going
to the Vanjie show for,

and I'm going to see you,
and you are

just fucking hilarious.

- The only note that
I think will help you

in future acting endeavors is,

relax and settle
into the material.

I feel like you're always
looking like,

"Did I do it right?
Am I done?

Can I move on
to the next scene?"

- Now, Carson's right.

You're not supposed to do that.
- Right, right.

But my mama always said,
you know, look at who

you're talking to,
da da da da da.

I'm gonna put it on her ass.

- Thank you, All Stars.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

All right, now,

just between
us squirrel friends,

what do you think?

We are looking for the top
two All Stars of the week.

- Nina West, from the minute
she flew in the room

to the minute she left,
had me riveted.

It was so funny.

It was so camp.

It was so
"Valley of the Doll-icious,"

I couldn't take
my eyes off of her.

- And then the runway,
I thought, was strong.

It was a tiny bit
costumey for me.

- I didn't mind it
because of the theme.

Now, had it been a more
fashion-oriented theme,

I would have had
a problem with it.

But Nina delivers.

- It is so natural, I think,
for Gottmik

every time she is doing
an acting challenge,

and I think that she continues
to level up her game.

I really, really
enjoyed the performance.

- I agree, and I think that
her look just was exquisite.

- Listen, her looks are always
elevated, fully realized,

and incredibly executed.

Part of the fun
with Ms. Vanjie is

you don't know
what you're gonna get,

but you actually know
what you're gonna get.

- And she got the best
movie of all time.

She got "Showgirls,"

and she did it the way
she was gonna do it,

and I was here for that.

- She... just an absolute star,
and I couldn't stop laughing.

I loved it.

- The issue is that
Vanjie's technique

is to shoot, in the dark,
as many rounds as possible,

hoping to hit something.

Well, she could really hit it
every single time

without so many spare bullets.

But on the runway, my gosh,
she's doing it right,

'cause it looked fantastic.

- And then Angeria was one
of my favorites tonight, Ru.

She really knew what
she came in there to do.

She commanded the camera

and then was funny on top of it,

with the slaps,
with the presentation,

with falling off her feet
and picking herself back up.

- Yeah, Angeria's performance
was 10 out of 10.

And Charlotte,
wherever she is, somewhere,

is pissed 'cause, like, it's now

gonna be called
"Algeria's Web."

That look was stunning.

- Yeah, it was campy.
It was fun.

It was gorgeous.

- She knows what she's doing.

- You ain't lying.

All right, silence.

I have made my decision.

Bring back my All Stars.

Welcome back, All Stars.

Based on your "Meeting in
the Ladies Room" performances

and your "Widow, Weep For Me"
runway presentations,

I've made some decisions.

The top two All Stars
of the week are...

Nina West...

- Thank you.

- And...

Angeria Paris VanMicheals.

You've each earned a Beautiful
Benefactressism Badge,

and you're both one step
closer to winning

the $200,000 grand prize
for your charity

courtesy of the Palette Fund.

Ladykins, the rest of you
may take a seat.

- Good luck, good luck,
good luck, ladies.

- Two All Stars stand before me.

This is your chance
to impress me,

win $10,000 for your charity,
and earn the power

to cut off one of your
fellow queens from receiving

a Beautiful Benefactress Badge
next week.

The time has come for you

to lip-sync for your charity.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

All Stars,
I've made my decision.

Angeria...

condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

- Work, sister.

- Damn.

- You've won a cash tip
of $10,000 for your charity,

the National
Black Justice Coalition.

Let's go, Angie!

- Yes, honey, this is
my second win in a row.

I done raised $30,000
so far for my charity.

This feels good.

- Nina West, as it turns out,

you didn't need to use

the immunity
you earned this week,

so we're giving you
$2,500 for your charity,

The Trevor Project.

- Thank you so much.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

- And Nina, you are safe
to slay another day.

- Thank you, Mama Ru.

- Please step to the back
of the stage.

- Thank you.

- Sister!

- Go!

- Yeah, Nina.

- Queens, please join
Angeria on stage.

Angeria, with great power
comes great responsibility.

Using the ruby snippers,

you need to cut off
one of your fellow queens

from receiving a Beautiful
Benefactress Badge next week.

Angeria, which sister
will you scissor?

- Here we are again, girl.

I gotta cut somebody out.

See, I really don't have to
think about this one too much,

'cause I already know who I'm
gonna... no, I'm just playing.

I was like, girl...

But I got you.

I got you.
- You did, bitch.

- I did.

I do realize that
the obvious choice here

is to cut Plastique.

Not only does she have
three badges,

but also, Mama ain't
never been snipped.

You was doing
all that math earlier.

- I'm really dumb, and I just
don't know what's going on.

- That's what they all say.

The math
Plastique was throwing out

does make a little sense.

If you cut the person
that has the same

number of badges as you,

it will stop those people

from getting ahead of you, OK?

And I ain't lying.

Snip, snip, bitch.

- Why me?

Like, what?

- The gag.
- The gag.

- Go to...

- Wow.

- Gottmik, next week,
you can compete and even win,

but Angeria has cut you off
from earning

a Beautiful Benefactressism
Badge.

- A little upset.

- Condragulations, All Stars.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

Amen!

- All right,
now let the music play.

- Next time on "All Stars"...

- I was playing a game
of What's Fair,

and you're playing chess.

- Gottmik's ready for war,
bitch.

- For this week's
maxi challenge,

you need to create
runway eleganza

that takes inspiration
from one of my songs.

- Because I love
design challenges,

it's actually,
probably the worst time

in life to get cut off.

- Roxxxy, how fast you running
this through the machine?

- My glue's drying,
so I can't come over there.

I cannot leave here without
getting a design challenge win,

but my workload is way too much.

All right,
I gotta leave this alone.

I have to move on
to something else.

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