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[V.6.]
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Hey!
Wahh!
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What are you doing?
4
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Ezakial Crawford. Park ranger.
5
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You scared the bejesus out of me.
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Sorry. Sir.
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Didn't mean to spook you.
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These are National Park lands now.
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No mining.
10
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I'm sorry. Sir. But I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
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Shh. Did you hear that?
12
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Mm-hm. You got your partner down there?
13
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No. Hand me that lantern.
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Yeah. There you go.
15
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Hey! Sir?
16
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Sir. You OK?
17
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Where'd you go?
18
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Hmm.
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Huh? Ah!
20
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And the last highlight of the tour are
these stylised anthropomorphic figures
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which are completely unique
in North American rock art.
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Uh. when do we get to see
the balancing rock?
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I'm afraid you can't. It's gone.
What the hell happened to it?
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Balancing rock was dismantled in 1 996
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after the Wyoming Ethics Board
declared the shadow it cast obscene.
26
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Looked like a Johnson.
27
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It collapsed in 1 9 7 3.
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Many geological formations
are but temporary features
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that will eventually succumb
to the forces of gravity and erosion.
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You're telling me there ain't no balancing
rock in Balancing Rock National Park?
31
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That's correct. Sir.
So. what else you got?
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Uh. Apart from the fascinating
Native American pictographs?
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And?
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Uh. Couple of campgrounds
and a golf course. nine holes.
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Unbelievable.
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So thank you all for coming on the tour.
ladies and gentlemen.
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00:03:01,427 --> 00:03:03,666
and I hope you enjoy
the rest of your stay here
38
00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:06,106
in beautiflll
Balancing Rock National Park.
39
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It's Tina. Isn't it?
40
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You know. Tina.
41
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:14,824
park rangers suffer the highest rate
of felonious assalllts and homicides
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00:03:14,824 --> 00:03:16,864
of any law enforcement agency
in the country.
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Wow.
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That must be a really tough job.
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Yeah.
46
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You have no idea.
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202 to 205. Over.
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205 here.
49
00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:13,598
What do you want. Marge?
What's your position?
50
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Uh...I'm just. Uh. You know.
finishing with the tour here.
51
00:05:17,923 --> 00:05:19,443
at the pictographs.
52
00:05:19,443 --> 00:05:22,043
Like hell. That tour finishe
90 minutes ago.
53
00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:25,159
Now. Get your lazy ass
back own to the station pronto. Over.
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MARGE: Ravens have learne
to unzip an unsnap packs.
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Do not allow them access to your food.
It is harmflll and it is illegal.
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Thank you.
57
00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:46,079
What's shaking. Marge?
This is Hobart Moss. Volunteer ranger.
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00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,038
Super sent him over to help out
since Edgar's gone AWOL.
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00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:52,237
You can take him with you.
Take him where?
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00:05:52,237 --> 00:05:55,477
Marvin called. He's had some trouble.
Well. what kind of trouble?
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The get-off-your-ass.
get-up-there-and-find-out-about-it
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kind of trouble.
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00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:02,556
You don't have any authority over me.
Marge.
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00:06:02,556 --> 00:06:04,995
I'm lead ranger.
65
00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:08,955
We're both GS-9s.
I'm senior.
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00:06:08,955 --> 00:06:10,714
By three months!
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00:06:10,714 --> 00:06:14,502
Fine. I'm gonna do it.
But only because it needs to be done.
68
00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:20,423
We're both GS-9s. I'm senior.
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00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:36,950
Possibly more than one bear.
I'd say black bear. not grizzly.
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Black bear is more of a scavenger.
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Hasn't been a bear here for 1 0 years.
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What you got there. Hobart?
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You can call me Hobie.
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00:06:46,828 --> 00:06:52,267
This is my ranger notebook. I'm gonna
use it to take notes and log evidence.
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00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:55,227
I'm pretty sure it was those teenagers
camping down by the river.
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00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:57,746
They've been stealing stuff
from my store. And now this.
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You know. They're doing drugs too.
You gonna do something about this?
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00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:22,142
Just let me handle this. OK?
Yes. Sir.
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Don't call me sir.
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00:07:29,301 --> 00:07:30,290
Hey. Kids.
81
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:35,300
We saw your handiwork with the
trash cans up at the convenience store.
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That wasn't us.
We've been here the whole time.
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00:07:38,339 --> 00:07:39,979
Yeah. It was probably bears.
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00:07:39,979 --> 00:07:44,778
Yeah. We know you kids got pot.
The entire campground reeks of it.
85
00:07:44,778 --> 00:07:47,498
And what are you gonna do?
You're just a park ranger.
86
00:07:47,498 --> 00:07:51,377
Actually. He's a federal officer. He has
full police powers within his jurisdiction.
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00:07:51,377 --> 00:07:53,977
So he can do whatever he wants.
88
00:07:53,977 --> 00:07:57,816
And what are you?
I'm like...like a ranger cadet.
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00:07:57,816 --> 00:07:59,616
Like. I'm a ranger in training.
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00:07:59,616 --> 00:08:03,085
Listen. Kids. Just hand over the pot
and we'll pretend it was bears. Capisce?
91
00:08:06,615 --> 00:08:08,934
Let's have the snacks.
92
00:08:08,934 --> 00:08:13,493
Improperly stored food items
attract bears. Real bears.
93
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,963
I thought you said there
hadn't been a bear here in 1 0 years.
94
00:08:20,772 --> 00:08:25,331
WOI'm trying. Honey!
Well. Try a little bit harder!
95
00:08:25,331 --> 00:08:27,851
The stern oarsman can't do it
all by himself. You know.
96
00:08:27,851 --> 00:08:29,811
Loosen your grip!
97
00:08:29,811 --> 00:08:35,730
I told you before. Improper
paddle handling causes tendonitis.
98
00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:38,569
OK. Now. Come on.
Move that paddle. woman.
99
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Stroke! Stroke!
100
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Come on. Baby. Come on. Come on.
101
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,366
So how many of those do you need to smoke�
102
00:08:57,366 --> 00:08:59,166
�before you know
it's real marijuana weed?
103
00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:01,485
Well...
104
00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:04,885
The manual says two. But...
105
00:09:04,885 --> 00:09:07,044
..I think we're gonna be OK
after one.
106
00:09:07,044 --> 00:09:10,284
I don't remember reading that.
107
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Oh. Really?
108
00:09:12,123 --> 00:09:15,763
You know. I'm not sure it was those kids
that threw all that trash around Marvin's.
109
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,882
Those trash cans were demolished.
110
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It would have taken a grown man. well...
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..stronger. Something more powerflll
than a grown man.
112
00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:25,041
Cal...
113
00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:26,793
Do you believe in Big Foot?
114
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Kidding me. Right?
115
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There's a lot of evidence.
compelling evidence.
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that suggests that Big Foot is...
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202 to 205. Over.
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00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,678
There's the only hairy monster
I believe in. Get that for me. Buddy?
119
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Yes. Sir!
120
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I mean. Cal.
121
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:50,757
205 to 202.
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00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,676
Who's this?
123
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,836
Uh. This is Hobart Moss.
volunteer ranger. Ma'am.
124
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Uh...hello?
125
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:58,955
Where's Robertson?
Uh. Robertson's working hard.
126
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He's. Uh. Just smoking
some of the suspected marijuana.
127
00:10:02,555 --> 00:10:04,033
He's what?
128
00:10:05,954 --> 00:10:08,794
Hey. Marge. Cal here. Hobie's just. I�m...
129
00:10:08,794 --> 00:10:11,591
You know. he's just messing around.
130
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,392
Are you there. Marge?
Oh. L'm here. Robertson.
131
00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:17,872
We got another complaint
132
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that the northern camp toilets
are stinking up the park.
133
00:10:20,672 --> 00:10:22,711
Deal with it. Well. where's Edgar?
134
00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:25,191
That's his job. Still can't find him.
135
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,784
So you two better get out there
an lime them yourselves.
136
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,019
Shall we go?
137
00:10:45,547 --> 00:10:49,387
No more mining! Save our land!
138
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,226
No more blasting! Here we stand!
139
00:10:51,226 --> 00:10:53,386
No more mining! Save the land!
140
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:56,026
No more blasting! Here we stand!
141
00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:58,493
No more blasting!
Here we stand!
142
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Dammit!
143
00:11:01,585 --> 00:11:04,264
That's enough. Hobie. Let's go.
But we already paid for these.
144
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,264
Well. Hello. Cal.
145
00:11:06,264 --> 00:11:07,784
Hi. Katie.
146
00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:09,983
Well. Isn't this a familiar sight?
147
00:11:09,983 --> 00:11:12,577
Hiding behind that doughnut
while this guy does all the work.
148
00:11:13,942 --> 00:11:18,342
Nothing ever changes.
You're still a selfish jackass.
149
00:11:18,342 --> 00:11:20,781
Hey. why don't you put that
on one of your signs?
150
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,021
Open-cast mining
is a crime against nature.
151
00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,940
They're going to destroy this community.
She's right. You know.
152
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:30,650
Thank you. I am right. And any
decent park ranger would know that.
153
00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:36,379
Outside of my park.
154
00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:37,858
not my problem.
155
00:11:37,858 --> 00:11:39,538
Let's go. Hobie.
156
00:11:39,538 --> 00:11:42,018
Man. That woman is crazy.
157
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:44,817
You know. She once asked me to break
into a government building with her
158
00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:47,457
so she could steal some documents
to implicate a senator.
159
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:51,896
That's probably just her way
to show you that she cares about you.
160
00:11:51,896 --> 00:11:56,175
I mean. She doesn't actually show it.
She actually seems like she hates you.
161
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,015
But in actuality. You're a park ranger.
162
00:11:58,015 --> 00:12:01,894
I'm sure Katie sees that.
and she's gotta respect you for it.
163
00:12:01,894 --> 00:12:04,203
Well. She got a funny way of showing it.
164
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,771
Don't you just love this job?
165
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,773
Once.
166
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:13,002
Alright. Finish up in there.
I gotta take a dump.
167
00:12:14,012 --> 00:12:17,772
Oh! Ugh! You didn't do
a very good job in here. Hobie.
168
00:12:17,772 --> 00:12:21,891
Man. I hate camp toilets.
They're so disgusting.
169
00:12:21,891 --> 00:12:24,890
There's always pee all over the seat
and there's spiders everywhere.
170
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:27,690
I'm always afraid one of them's
gonna bite my privates.
171
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:31,807
Also stinks like something
crawled in there and died.
172
00:12:40,408 --> 00:12:41,568
Poor guy.
173
00:12:41,568 --> 00:12:43,956
What the hell was Edgar doing
down in that hole?
174
00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:48,086
Why didn't you tell me he was in there?
I didn't look down!
175
00:12:48,086 --> 00:12:49,565
It totally freaks me out.
176
00:12:51,686 --> 00:12:53,165
Do you think he just fell in?
177
00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:55,724
He didn't fall in.
178
00:12:56,925 --> 00:12:58,404
He must have climbed in.
179
00:12:59,724 --> 00:13:01,724
I mean. He'd been a bit depressed lately.
But...
180
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:04,924
No. He must have been afraid
of something so bad
181
00:13:04,924 --> 00:13:07,801
that he climbed in there.
and he couldn't get back out.
182
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:15,122
Look at these claw marks. Maybe that
was a bear at Marvin's store after all.
183
00:13:15,122 --> 00:13:17,041
Or maybe it wasn't a bear.
184
00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:19,001
There's no such thing as Big Foot. Hobie.
185
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:22,201
A bear wouldn't scare me enough
to go climbing in poop.
186
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:25,795
A bear back at Balancing Rock
after all these years.
187
00:13:28,519 --> 00:13:30,359
Edgar was a friend of mine. Hobie.
188
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:33,239
Well. You know. not really a friend.
but. I mean. He was a colleague.
189
00:13:33,239 --> 00:13:34,878
He was a really good colleague.
190
00:13:34,878 --> 00:13:36,357
He hated this job.
191
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,197
He always wanted to open up
his own bake shop.
192
00:13:40,197 --> 00:13:41,915
Now look how he ended up.
193
00:13:43,597 --> 00:13:46,236
Neck-deep in other people's turds.
194
00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:47,876
What a waste.
195
00:13:47,876 --> 00:13:52,475
Egar Hanson.
loy al park employee. Our sorely misse
196
00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:54,315
coworker and friend.
197
00:13:54,315 --> 00:13:58,074
passed this day as he would have wished.
198
00:13:58,074 --> 00:14:00,588
doing the job he loved.
199
00:14:04,393 --> 00:14:05,873
This the coroner?
200
00:14:05,873 --> 00:14:10,512
This is Dan Whiting. He's come
to see you on official business.
201
00:14:10,512 --> 00:14:12,592
I need to get a urine sample
from you. Officer.
202
00:14:12,592 --> 00:14:16,791
What's this all about?
Surprise drug test.
203
00:14:16,791 --> 00:14:20,227
We don't have surprise drug tests.
Surprise!
204
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,102
Fine.
205
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:26,750
Remember. Urine. not sperm.
206
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:29,024
Do I get a cup?
207
00:14:31,669 --> 00:14:33,548
Here you go. Dan.
208
00:14:33,548 --> 00:14:36,068
Don't drink it all at once.
209
00:14:36,068 --> 00:14:37,708
Hmph!
210
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:40,540
Goodnight. Officers.
211
00:14:43,627 --> 00:14:47,226
You know. Those tests
have a 50olo false negative. So...
212
00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:48,946
..don't write me off just yet.
213
00:14:48,946 --> 00:14:50,266
We'll see.
214
00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:53,065
You know. Marge.
we lost one of our own out there today.
215
00:14:53,065 --> 00:14:55,225
and there's a rogue bear on the loose.
216
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:58,504
Edgar's no loss.
And neither will you be.
217
00:14:58,504 --> 00:15:02,543
Sure. Make yourself itsef!
for the little time you have left.
218
00:15:02,543 --> 00:15:05,023
Post all the bear warning signs
you want.
219
00:15:05,023 --> 00:15:07,423
Fine. Give me the key to the gun safe.
220
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:11,342
You have your handgun.
For a bear? This'll just piss him off!
221
00:15:11,342 --> 00:15:14,458
I need a rifle. You're right.
222
00:15:18,621 --> 00:15:20,620
This is a tranquilliser gun.
223
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,611
Well. we need more than this!
224
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,339
Pepper spray.
225
00:15:26,339 --> 00:15:28,299
In case you meet the big bad bear.
226
00:15:28,299 --> 00:15:32,058
Give me the key to the damn gun room.
227
00:15:32,058 --> 00:15:36,338
The only way you're gonna get the key is
if you pry it from my cold. Dead fingers.
228
00:15:36,338 --> 00:15:38,646
Happy hunting. Boys.
229
00:15:47,256 --> 00:15:51,215
I thought you said those tests
had. Like. A 50olo false negative.
230
00:15:51,215 --> 00:15:52,735
I lied. Hobie.
231
00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:54,655
So screwed.
232
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,334
I'm sorry.
233
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,534
Look. Don't worry about it. OK?
234
00:15:58,534 --> 00:16:01,293
If it wasn't gonna be this.
it would be something else.
235
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,573
Marge has had it in for me for a long time.
236
00:16:03,573 --> 00:16:06,972
She told me you were like
a cancerous cyst growing in her armpit.
237
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:09,852
Then when I asked her
what that felt like. She...
238
00:16:09,852 --> 00:16:11,652
..she told me to shut my cakehole.
239
00:16:11,652 --> 00:16:13,971
Yeah. well. That's classic Marge.
240
00:16:13,971 --> 00:16:15,891
You know...
241
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:18,770
..these conditions are perfect
for Big Foot sightings.
242
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,970
Sun's about to go down.
fog should be rolling in.
243
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:25,809
Just when you can't see properly and
you can let your imagination take over.
244
00:16:25,809 --> 00:16:31,328
Say what you will.
but l bet he's out there. Right now.
245
00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:34,001
Just watching us.
246
00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:37,407
Smelling us.
247
00:16:37,407 --> 00:16:39,727
That's what I'd be doing.
248
00:16:39,727 --> 00:16:43,162
Yes. I'm sure he is.
Just finish this up.
249
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,125
Hey. Look at this track right here.
250
00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:50,885
That's a pretty big footprint.
wouldn't you say?
251
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,965
Sure. They're big footprints.
252
00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:56,084
Big footprints? Or Big Foot prints?
I mean they're giant bear prints!
253
00:16:56,084 --> 00:16:59,443
Now let's get the hell out of here.
You're giving me the heebie-jeebies.
254
00:16:59,443 --> 00:17:01,363
It's like he was headed this direction.
255
00:17:01,363 --> 00:17:03,563
and then he probably
smelled something interesting.
256
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,322
Where are you going?
Come on! Hobie!
257
00:17:05,322 --> 00:17:06,962
..up through here...
258
00:17:06,962 --> 00:17:10,082
Dammit!
259
00:17:10,082 --> 00:17:11,641
Hobie?
260
00:17:11,641 --> 00:17:13,711
Hobie. Come on. Where are you?
261
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,920
Hobie.
262
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,799
Shh! I think I heard something.
263
00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:25,159
Yeah. It was probably me.
Shh!
264
00:17:25,159 --> 00:17:27,679
Big Foots get skittish at dusk.
265
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:30,158
Don't you mean Big Feet?
266
00:17:30,158 --> 00:17:32,078
Big Foots.
267
00:17:32,078 --> 00:17:33,557
I think.
268
00:17:35,917 --> 00:17:37,396
What is that?
269
00:17:47,315 --> 00:17:50,475
That's pretty freaky.
270
00:17:50,475 --> 00:17:52,514
What do you think
would do something like that?
271
00:17:52,514 --> 00:17:56,143
Three teenaged stoners.
that's who.
272
00:18:02,753 --> 00:18:06,032
Alright. Let's get the hell out of here.
Where can I drop you off?
273
00:18:06,032 --> 00:18:07,672
Well...
274
00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:10,191
Marge said I could
stay in the park. with you.
275
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:12,386
Course she did.
276
00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:15,150
I'm not tucking you in.
277
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:23,949
Hey. Cal. If you could be any
protected species. what would you be?
278
00:18:23,949 --> 00:18:26,789
I'd be a narwhal.
279
00:18:26,789 --> 00:18:29,382
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
Hobie.
280
00:18:30,748 --> 00:18:32,548
Hanalei Bay. Hawaii.
281
00:18:32,548 --> 00:18:34,587
That's where I was headed.
282
00:18:34,587 --> 00:18:37,227
You know. I'd have grown...
283
00:18:37,227 --> 00:18:40,466
..pineapples and coconuts
behind the station.
284
00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:44,306
And the native girls would have
used them to make pina coladas.
285
00:18:44,306 --> 00:18:46,545
And they would have danced for me
in their hllla skirts
286
00:18:46,545 --> 00:18:48,581
and their coconut bikinis.
287
00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:52,624
And everybody would have
treated me like a king.
288
00:18:52,624 --> 00:18:55,784
'Cause I'd keep everybody safe in paradise.
289
00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:57,943
Wow. That sounds awesome.
290
00:18:57,943 --> 00:19:01,303
When I become a ranger.
I don't care where they put me.
291
00:19:01,303 --> 00:19:05,702
Just as long as I
work with good people.
292
00:19:05,702 --> 00:19:09,101
You know. They become
kind of like your family. I think.
293
00:19:09,101 --> 00:19:11,217
That's something I never had.
294
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,940
But if I had my choice.
I'd choose one of the big parks.
295
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:18,896
like Yosemite or Yellowstone.
296
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,139
Yellowstone can kiss my ass.
297
00:19:23,139 --> 00:19:24,979
You know what big parks are?
298
00:19:24,979 --> 00:19:27,618
Paperwork. Daily uniform inspections.
299
00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:31,777
Time management. Requisition forms
for every little. Tiny thing.
300
00:19:31,777 --> 00:19:34,245
Sexual harassment suits!
301
00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:43,015
Oh. You know. He never
had to deal with any of that.
302
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,055
Who's he?
303
00:19:45,055 --> 00:19:46,535
Ezekiel Crawford.
304
00:19:46,535 --> 00:19:48,455
Park's first ranger.
305
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,574
Oh. I've heard of him.
306
00:19:50,574 --> 00:19:53,334
Didn't he die protecting the park
from illegal mining?
307
00:19:53,334 --> 00:19:54,853
That's right.
308
00:19:54,853 --> 00:19:57,813
A real hero.
309
00:19:57,813 --> 00:19:59,883
Rangers were rangers back then.
310
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:03,812
None of this weak-sauce
bureaucratic pussies
311
00:20:03,812 --> 00:20:05,689
you find in the service nowadays.
312
00:20:07,531 --> 00:20:10,731
You know.
Maybe it's just the booze talking. But...
313
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:13,164
..I think I want to get fired.
314
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,250
Well. what about the coconuts?
315
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:19,207
Coconuts are over. Hobie.
316
00:20:20,609 --> 00:20:23,918
I'm the loser. Marge wins.
317
00:20:25,568 --> 00:20:27,479
And that's what
really pisses me off.
318
00:20:29,048 --> 00:20:31,766
Come over here. Stop it.
319
00:20:37,726 --> 00:20:41,965
Guys! Take it easy over there.
I'm trying to concentrate.
320
00:20:47,924 --> 00:20:50,279
Kyle. Tammy. Quit it! It's not funny.
321
00:21:09,241 --> 00:21:11,151
Sasquatch.
322
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,157
Oh. Dammit!
323
00:21:39,036 --> 00:21:41,435
This is Ranger Cal Robertson.
324
00:21:41,435 --> 00:21:44,995
I know it's you.
you pot-smoking teenagers.
325
00:21:44,995 --> 00:21:46,594
banging on those bongo drums.
326
00:21:46,594 --> 00:21:49,554
Shut the hell up and go to sleep!
327
00:21:51,873 --> 00:21:53,352
Thank you.
328
00:21:59,632 --> 00:22:02,232
Don't make me come out there.
you little pissants!
329
00:22:02,232 --> 00:22:06,511
I will use whatever force is necessary
to keep the peace.
330
00:23:00,182 --> 00:23:02,301
Get up. Volunteer Cadet Hobie!
Sasquatch!
331
00:23:02,301 --> 00:23:05,501
I'm getting transferred to Hanalei Bay.
Hawaii. And you're coming with.
332
00:23:05,501 --> 00:23:07,900
How about it? Yes. Sir!
333
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:11,460
OK. Then. We have 2 hours
before those test reslllts come back in.
334
00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:13,859
And I'll be damned if we don't go out there
335
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,539
and prove we've the best damned
rangers in the US Park Service.
336
00:23:16,539 --> 00:23:18,450
Now. Let's go get that bear.
Or Big Foot.
337
00:23:20,498 --> 00:23:23,898
OK. whatever it is that's causing
a ruckus out there. Let's go deal with it.
338
00:23:23,898 --> 00:23:26,497
On your feet. Ranger!
Yes. Sir!
339
00:23:26,497 --> 00:23:28,817
But first we're gonna deal with
those nocturnal pot-smoking.
340
00:23:28,817 --> 00:23:30,375
drum-banging. Punk-ass teenagers.
341
00:23:44,974 --> 00:23:47,044
That's a lot of cheese puffs.
342
00:23:50,173 --> 00:23:52,323
Told those kids
not to store food in the tent.
343
00:23:54,053 --> 00:23:57,892
I've never seen a bear attack before.
It's horrible.
344
00:23:57,892 --> 00:23:59,652
Yeah. It ain't pretty.
345
00:23:59,652 --> 00:24:01,491
Still. no partially eaten remains
346
00:24:01,491 --> 00:24:04,881
scattered around the immediate area
of the attack site. So that's a good sign.
347
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,166
Kids must have run off.
348
00:24:09,290 --> 00:24:11,565
Still. It looks like one of 'em's hurt.
349
00:24:13,729 --> 00:24:15,401
What do we do now?
350
00:24:17,329 --> 00:24:20,001
Now we make that bear sorry
he ever stepped foot in our park.
351
00:24:21,848 --> 00:24:24,607
I wish bears were nice. Like Yogi.
352
00:24:24,607 --> 00:24:27,007
OK. I can see...
353
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:29,447
I can see you're...
you're referring to a cartoon.
354
00:24:29,447 --> 00:24:34,286
Now. This is gonna be a real bear.
a real bear which will kill you...
355
00:24:34,286 --> 00:24:35,605
Whoa!
356
00:24:35,605 --> 00:24:37,085
Whoa. whoa. whoa. Cease fire!
357
00:24:37,085 --> 00:24:40,885
What was it?
Well. First of all. It's a chipmunk.
358
00:24:40,885 --> 00:24:42,795
Second of all. He's dead.
359
00:24:56,122 --> 00:24:58,002
Those the drums you heard?
360
00:24:58,002 --> 00:25:00,674
Yeah. That's really freaky.
361
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,920
Oh. My gosh.
362
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,558
Oh. My gosh!
363
00:25:11,599 --> 00:25:13,239
It's those damn kids!
364
00:25:13,239 --> 00:25:15,399
Alright. You little punks.
365
00:25:15,399 --> 00:25:17,078
You had your fun.
366
00:25:17,078 --> 00:25:21,071
You trashed your own camp.
faked a bear attack. Congratlllations.
367
00:25:23,037 --> 00:25:25,197
Oh. My God!
368
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,667
Run!
369
00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:53,866
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go!
370
00:25:58,311 --> 00:26:00,831
Some maniacs murdered
those poor pot-smoking kids!
371
00:26:00,831 --> 00:26:02,471
I mean. who would do such a thing?
372
00:26:02,471 --> 00:26:05,030
It wasn't Big Foot!
373
00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:08,510
Don't be ridiclllous.
Big Foots don't use bows and arrows.
374
00:26:08,510 --> 00:26:11,189
We gotta evacuate the rest of the park
before someone else gets killed.
375
00:26:11,189 --> 00:26:14,949
What about Marge? She's lead ranger!
She is not lead ranger. Hobie!
376
00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:17,348
We are both GS-9s. OK?
You and I are gonna handle this.
377
00:26:17,348 --> 00:26:18,906
You and me!
378
00:26:21,307 --> 00:26:24,347
You take the west fork on the ATV.
I'm gonna clear out the east.
379
00:26:24,347 --> 00:26:26,587
Get the main gate shut down.
head back to Marvin's.
380
00:26:26,587 --> 00:26:28,946
Hey! Take this just in case.
381
00:26:28,946 --> 00:26:31,506
I'm sorry! I'm going! I'm sorry!
Go. Go. Go!
382
00:26:33,825 --> 00:26:35,305
Attention. Park patrons.
383
00:26:35,305 --> 00:26:38,624
Please remain calm. But there is
a horde of bloodthirsty murderers
384
00:26:38,624 --> 00:26:40,184
heading your way.
385
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:44,024
Please leave everything...leave
your belongings and...and r...go away.
386
00:26:44,024 --> 00:26:45,536
Leave far. Far away.
387
00:26:53,422 --> 00:26:55,981
Hey. Girls.
388
00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:59,701
If you happen to run into what
looks like an apelike man. A Big Foot.
389
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:03,020
a sasquatch or serial clllt rapist.
390
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:06,660
please run for your lives.
'cause he killed a really cute teenager
391
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,299
who was using illegal drugs.
392
00:27:08,299 --> 00:27:10,019
but she probably
was a good person still.
393
00:27:10,019 --> 00:27:14,418
I. Uh. Think you may have
missed a spot. Uh... Uh... Yeah.
394
00:27:14,418 --> 00:27:16,818
Just a little bit right there. Yeah.
Here?
395
00:27:16,818 --> 00:27:20,137
You never can be too careflll.
You know. Skin cancer. It's a real killer.
396
00:27:20,137 --> 00:27:21,937
So. Uh...
397
00:27:21,937 --> 00:27:24,937
Also. There's been
a brutal dismemberment in the park
398
00:27:24,937 --> 00:27:26,576
of at least one patron. possibly four.
399
00:27:26,576 --> 00:27:28,896
What?!
Technically. It's more of a decapitation.
400
00:27:28,896 --> 00:27:31,735
So. Uh. I'm afraid we're gonna
have to evacuate the park.
401
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,215
Oh. My gosh!
402
00:27:33,215 --> 00:27:36,730
Why don't you toss your tushes
in the jeep and follow me out of here?
403
00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:48,533
1 0-. 1 0-. Cadet Hobie approaching
with an all clear.
404
00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:50,492
I repeat. An all clear. That's all clear.
405
00:27:50,492 --> 00:27:53,372
Everybody left the camp in a hurry.
Everyone's gone.
406
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:55,651
Are you sure we're not missing anyone?
Yep. Pretty sure.
407
00:27:55,651 --> 00:27:57,731
The western campers?
Check.
408
00:27:57,731 --> 00:27:59,771
The camp toilets? Uh. Check.
409
00:27:59,771 --> 00:28:02,921
You got the golf course?
410
00:28:11,209 --> 00:28:12,880
Hey. Walter.
411
00:28:15,248 --> 00:28:18,967
Hey! Jackass!
412
00:28:18,967 --> 00:28:21,356
Get off the fairway!
413
00:28:25,126 --> 00:28:28,086
Don't worry - I'm sure those rich
papa's-boy corporate-monkey assholes
414
00:28:28,086 --> 00:28:29,565
are fine. OK?
415
00:28:29,565 --> 00:28:31,285
Look. There's no reason to be alarmed.
416
00:28:31,285 --> 00:28:34,485
When the time comes to be alarmed.
we'll be alarmed. Now's not the time.
417
00:28:34,485 --> 00:28:36,484
OK.
They'll be fine on the golf course. OK?
418
00:28:36,484 --> 00:28:38,156
They've got their clubs to protect them.
419
00:28:51,282 --> 00:28:52,762
We failed them.
420
00:28:52,762 --> 00:28:55,801
Well. Let's not get carried away.
421
00:28:55,801 --> 00:28:59,395
They probably just left in a hurry
when they saw everyone else leaving.
422
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,960
Come on. Let's go.
423
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,393
A golfer lay here.
424
00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:08,237
And another.
425
00:29:12,358 --> 00:29:14,588
He crawled.
426
00:29:19,357 --> 00:29:20,357
Hobie. Buddy.
427
00:29:20,357 --> 00:29:22,956
We really got to...get...
428
00:29:22,956 --> 00:29:24,753
Please tell me you're not LARPing.
429
00:29:38,634 --> 00:29:40,113
The others fied.
430
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:43,549
And they were followed.
431
00:29:46,632 --> 00:29:50,545
Hey! Looks like one of 'em lost a shoe.
432
00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:10,942
These tracks lead away from the battle.
433
00:30:13,788 --> 00:30:15,507
Oh! Oh!
434
00:30:15,507 --> 00:30:16,542
Oh!
435
00:30:35,704 --> 00:30:37,854
202 to 205. Over.
436
00:30:40,143 --> 00:30:41,143
205 here.
437
00:30:41,143 --> 00:30:43,543
What the hell have
you two ickw as one now?
438
00:30:43,543 --> 00:30:45,342
Why i you evacuate my park. You. . .
439
00:30:45,342 --> 00:30:46,822
. Morons?
440
00:30:46,822 --> 00:30:49,822
It's not your park. Marge. And. Uh...
441
00:30:49,822 --> 00:30:52,141
I. Uh...
What?
442
00:30:52,141 --> 00:30:55,261
We have a. Uh...
a...a situation here. Marge.
443
00:30:55,261 --> 00:30:57,940
What are you blathering about? liot!
Are you high again?
444
00:30:57,940 --> 00:31:00,500
No! And I'm not blathering. OK?
445
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:01,979
We. I�m...
446
00:31:01,979 --> 00:31:04,779
Look. Just sit tight in the station
and we'll be there soon.
447
00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:07,219
l swear to Go. Robertson. L'm gonna. . .
205 out.
448
00:31:07,219 --> 00:31:10,498
We have to do it. You know.
Do what?
449
00:31:10,498 --> 00:31:13,092
We have to rescue Marge.
450
00:31:14,897 --> 00:31:17,365
Yeah. well. Let's get Marv first. OK?
She can wait.
451
00:31:19,976 --> 00:31:22,012
What now? More tracks?
452
00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:26,133
So?
453
00:31:28,815 --> 00:31:30,695
What is that?
454
00:31:30,695 --> 00:31:34,054
This tooth did not come from a human.
Look at it.
455
00:31:34,054 --> 00:31:35,931
I'd rather not. Thanks.
456
00:31:37,493 --> 00:31:39,893
I think I have an idea
what we're dealing with here.
457
00:31:39,893 --> 00:31:41,008
Let me guess. Big Feet?
458
00:31:43,012 --> 00:31:45,128
Think you'd better not tell me.
459
00:31:59,450 --> 00:32:00,449
Marvin?
460
00:32:00,449 --> 00:32:02,246
Marv?
461
00:32:07,928 --> 00:32:09,486
Marvin. You in there?
462
00:32:23,246 --> 00:32:25,076
Marvin?
463
00:32:38,763 --> 00:32:41,151
I found him.
464
00:32:42,202 --> 00:32:43,842
Should we put him in the truck?
465
00:33:28,794 --> 00:33:30,914
Marge! Thank God!
466
00:33:30,914 --> 00:33:33,714
Never thought I'd say that.
467
00:33:33,714 --> 00:33:36,793
These damn things are all over my park!
It's not just your park!
468
00:33:36,793 --> 00:33:39,353
Is the rest of the store clear?
What?! Yeah.
469
00:33:39,353 --> 00:33:41,192
Good! Then what I want you to do...
470
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:46,471
Idiots...
471
00:34:00,309 --> 00:34:02,789
Hobie!
472
00:34:22,865 --> 00:34:24,742
It's an orc!
473
00:34:26,544 --> 00:34:30,064
No. It's not. There's no such thing.
But it's right here!
474
00:34:30,064 --> 00:34:33,743
Where did it come from?
How did it get here?
475
00:34:33,743 --> 00:34:38,021
I don't know. And I don't care. Let's just
get the hell out of the park. Hobie! Now!
476
00:34:42,342 --> 00:34:46,101
We need to call the National Guard.
We just need to get to a payphone and...
477
00:34:48,581 --> 00:34:50,218
Oh. Hell no!
478
00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:58,219
Isn't this the only road out of the park?
Yep.
479
00:34:58,219 --> 00:35:00,459
So. How are we gonna get out?!
I'm working on it!
480
00:35:00,459 --> 00:35:02,176
Well. You need to go faster!
481
00:35:13,137 --> 00:35:14,376
Go! Go! Go!
482
00:35:14,376 --> 00:35:17,216
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go!
483
00:35:17,216 --> 00:35:19,331
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go!
484
00:35:26,654 --> 00:35:28,645
Take the wheel!
485
00:35:54,050 --> 00:35:56,289
Yeah! Yeah!
486
00:35:56,289 --> 00:35:58,049
Hobie. Look out! You did it! Yeah!
487
00:36:15,646 --> 00:36:17,606
Are you OK. Buddy? I think so.
488
00:36:17,606 --> 00:36:20,365
I got you. Come on. Here you go. Come on.
489
00:36:20,365 --> 00:36:22,925
Come on. Come on. Let's go! Go. Go!
490
00:36:25,444 --> 00:36:26,957
What... What are you doing?
491
00:36:56,279 --> 00:36:58,399
You OK?
492
00:36:58,399 --> 00:37:01,318
My ankle. I think I sprained it.
493
00:37:01,318 --> 00:37:04,912
That's just great. Can you get off me now?
494
00:37:32,273 --> 00:37:35,344
Come on. Let's go.
495
00:38:12,386 --> 00:38:13,866
Will you marry me?
496
00:38:13,866 --> 00:38:17,305
What the hell are you doing here?
You're welcome?
497
00:38:17,305 --> 00:38:20,305
OK. Thank you.
498
00:38:20,305 --> 00:38:22,064
What the hell are you doing here?
499
00:38:22,064 --> 00:38:25,344
I was going to the uranium mine
when I ran into one of these things.
500
00:38:25,344 --> 00:38:26,943
What'd you do?
501
00:38:26,943 --> 00:38:29,703
I killed him. And I took this.
502
00:38:29,703 --> 00:38:32,222
What were you doing at the uranium mine?
503
00:38:32,222 --> 00:38:34,982
Something you would never do.
504
00:38:34,982 --> 00:38:36,702
Taking responsibility.
505
00:38:36,702 --> 00:38:38,061
Oh!
506
00:38:38,061 --> 00:38:42,781
Wow. Responsibility.
That's...that's right.
507
00:38:42,781 --> 00:38:45,780
That's your fancy word for 'terrorism'.
508
00:38:45,780 --> 00:38:48,420
Wow. You are so unbelievable.
509
00:38:48,420 --> 00:38:51,539
You know what?
Let's talk about this another time. OK?
510
00:38:51,539 --> 00:38:53,139
We are 20 miles outside of town.
511
00:38:53,139 --> 00:38:56,538
We got to get going.
He can't walk 20 miles! Look at him.
512
00:38:56,538 --> 00:38:58,218
Sure he can. He's tough. Right. Hobart?
513
00:38:58,218 --> 00:39:00,498
I'm fine.
514
00:39:00,498 --> 00:39:03,257
Don't be ridiclllous!
Your ranger station's not far from here.
515
00:39:03,257 --> 00:39:07,257
We can hole up there.
then llse a radio to call for help.
516
00:39:07,257 --> 00:39:10,456
We got to get out of here!
There's at least a dozen of these things.
517
00:39:10,456 --> 00:39:13,056
Maybe more. For all we know.
The station's only a mile away.
518
00:39:13,056 --> 00:39:14,935
It's the safest place here.
519
00:39:14,935 --> 00:39:16,615
If we start walking...
520
00:39:16,615 --> 00:39:18,095
..we don't stand a chance.
521
00:39:18,095 --> 00:39:19,163
Hobie can't run.
522
00:39:20,574 --> 00:39:22,774
I'll go on foot and I'll bring back help.
523
00:39:22,774 --> 00:39:26,209
20 miles?! A man in your shape?
It'd take two days.
524
00:39:27,693 --> 00:39:30,533
Besides. Hobie and I need to go
to the ranger station anyway.
525
00:39:30,533 --> 00:39:32,572
You have weapons there. Don't you?
526
00:39:32,572 --> 00:39:35,006
Marge says she has an Uzi. 9mm.
527
00:39:36,052 --> 00:39:38,246
Yeah. Yeah. That could work. Yeah.
528
00:39:39,651 --> 00:39:41,164
Dammit!
What?
529
00:39:42,850 --> 00:39:44,329
The key.
530
00:39:53,289 --> 00:39:55,008
OK. You stand guard out here.
531
00:39:55,008 --> 00:39:57,408
Hobie and I'll be back in a minute
with the key.
532
00:39:57,408 --> 00:39:59,603
You sure you two
can manage in there by yourself?
533
00:40:02,607 --> 00:40:07,286
You know. She thinks she's some kind
of Amazon warrior with that bow.
534
00:40:07,286 --> 00:40:09,326
Like we can't take care of ourselves.
535
00:40:09,326 --> 00:40:11,366
Hey. we're trained professionals.
536
00:40:11,366 --> 00:40:14,405
Well. I'm a trained professional.
You're just a volunteer.
537
00:40:14,405 --> 00:40:16,725
She did save us.
538
00:40:16,725 --> 00:40:19,761
Let's just get this over with. OK?
539
00:40:28,323 --> 00:40:30,922
Sure she has the key on her?
Yep.
540
00:40:30,922 --> 00:40:33,282
From her cold. Dead fingers.
541
00:40:33,282 --> 00:40:34,920
Wish it was that easy.
542
00:40:39,761 --> 00:40:42,672
Maybe it's...maybe
it's in her shirt pockets.
543
00:40:49,759 --> 00:40:54,438
Oh. That's it! That's it. I can't do this.
Maybe it's in her bra.
544
00:40:54,438 --> 00:40:56,554
That's where my stepmom
keeps her cell phone.
545
00:41:04,237 --> 00:41:06,676
Ah! Ah!
546
00:41:06,676 --> 00:41:07,665
Oh.
547
00:41:10,595 --> 00:41:12,551
Ah!
548
00:41:14,115 --> 00:41:15,673
Bingo.
549
00:41:18,274 --> 00:41:19,263
Keep it safe.
550
00:41:23,233 --> 00:41:24,433
Oh. That's not...
551
00:41:24,433 --> 00:41:27,113
Hobie!
552
00:41:27,113 --> 00:41:30,312
Do something! OK. I'll go get Katie!
553
00:41:30,312 --> 00:41:31,870
No. You do something!
554
00:41:33,751 --> 00:41:35,230
Ah!
555
00:41:42,990 --> 00:41:46,061
Oh. Get it off me.
get it off me!
556
00:41:49,229 --> 00:41:51,628
Let's not tell Katie about this.
You OK?
557
00:41:51,628 --> 00:41:53,505
Thank you.
558
00:42:02,906 --> 00:42:04,786
What happened to you?
What?
559
00:42:04,786 --> 00:42:07,826
Well. I had to kill one to get the key.
560
00:42:07,826 --> 00:42:09,338
Let's go.
561
00:42:16,264 --> 00:42:18,824
So. Katie. what all do you know
about orcs?
562
00:42:18,824 --> 00:42:20,703
What? Don't use that word.
563
00:42:20,703 --> 00:42:22,343
Well. That's what they are.
564
00:42:22,343 --> 00:42:24,823
I figure maybe they're
a government experiment gone wrong.
565
00:42:24,823 --> 00:42:27,702
Ah. Yes. The government!
Now. That's a surprise.
566
00:42:27,702 --> 00:42:30,782
Humanlchimpanzee hybrids.
567
00:42:30,782 --> 00:42:33,981
Like Stalin's humanlape hybrid program
in the late 1920s.
568
00:42:33,981 --> 00:42:35,141
They really did that?
569
00:42:35,141 --> 00:42:39,380
Don't encourage her.
Or. Like. A wormhole. See?
570
00:42:39,380 --> 00:42:41,460
They probably transported here from...
571
00:42:41,460 --> 00:42:43,340
Oh. Unless...
572
00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:46,099
Maybe they've been in the mountain
the whole time.
573
00:42:46,099 --> 00:42:47,979
What do you think. Cal?
574
00:42:47,979 --> 00:42:51,978
I think you're both idiots.
Now. Shut up about it and stay alert.
575
00:42:51,978 --> 00:42:53,178
Ah!
576
00:42:57,217 --> 00:42:59,731
I told you one of the golfers
made it off the course.
577
00:43:02,736 --> 00:43:04,215
Get off the road!
578
00:43:17,454 --> 00:43:19,125
Holy crap! There's hundreds of 'em.
579
00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:25,124
580
00:43:57,847 --> 00:43:59,360
Where are they going?
581
00:44:01,086 --> 00:44:02,566
Away from the station.
582
00:44:02,566 --> 00:44:04,124
That's all that matters.
583
00:44:13,564 --> 00:44:15,043
Leave it off.
584
00:44:16,244 --> 00:44:19,843
Calling all units. This is National Park
Unit 238. Please respond. Over.
585
00:44:19,843 --> 00:44:22,563
This is Captain John Morrison.
I read you. Over.
586
00:44:22,563 --> 00:44:24,242
We have an emergency situation.
587
00:44:24,242 --> 00:44:26,522
There are three of us trapped
at Balancing Rock National Park.
588
00:44:26,522 --> 00:44:28,402
We need help immediately. Over.
589
00:44:28,402 --> 00:44:31,041
Unfortunately.
the National Guard has their hans full.
590
00:44:31,041 --> 00:44:33,041
You're breaking up. Please repeat. Over.
591
00:44:33,041 --> 00:44:34,681
Cal.
592
00:44:34,681 --> 00:44:36,920
You should look at this.
Hello?
593
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,160
.pouring out of the uranium
mine at the centre of the affecte region.
594
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,079
The National Guar has been. . .
Turn it up.
595
00:44:42,079 --> 00:44:44,759
An armoure ivision has arrive
on the scene that shoul turn the tie
596
00:44:44,759 --> 00:44:46,559
of the battle in our favour!
597
00:44:53,077 --> 00:44:57,548
Well. I knew this was a terrible idea.
No-one's coming to save us.
598
00:44:59,836 --> 00:45:01,633
I need to write this down.
599
00:45:04,675 --> 00:45:06,393
My notebook!
600
00:45:08,115 --> 00:45:11,434
I had it at Marvin's!
We need to go back and get it!
601
00:45:11,434 --> 00:45:14,354
Forget about your stupid book. We got
bigger things to worry about right now.
602
00:45:14,354 --> 00:45:16,833
Everything I learned about the orcs
is in there.
603
00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:18,313
Yeah. Yeah. Big loss.
604
00:45:18,313 --> 00:45:21,669
Just give me the key to the gun safe
so we can at least defend ourselves.
605
00:45:25,672 --> 00:45:28,071
I don't have the key.
606
00:45:28,071 --> 00:45:29,791
What?
607
00:45:29,791 --> 00:45:32,351
I'm sure you have it. It's gone.
608
00:45:32,351 --> 00:45:34,545
It must have fallen out
when I dropped my notebook.
609
00:45:36,270 --> 00:45:38,625
That's just great.
I've had enough of this.
610
00:45:43,269 --> 00:45:44,749
I'm sorry.
611
00:45:44,749 --> 00:45:47,908
Where are you going?
612
00:45:47,908 --> 00:45:50,820
Where I should have gone
in the first place. Out of the park.
613
00:45:55,187 --> 00:45:57,986
You could come with me.
614
00:45:57,986 --> 00:46:00,739
What about Hobie?
We can't just leave him here alone.
615
00:46:02,266 --> 00:46:03,785
We could bring back help.
616
00:46:03,785 --> 00:46:07,265
That could be days!
You're unbelievable.
617
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:09,864
What are you talking about?
This is the only chance we've got!
618
00:46:09,864 --> 00:46:12,822
I'm going out there to save us all.
By saving yourself first?
619
00:46:14,344 --> 00:46:16,423
I don't have to justify any of this.
620
00:46:16,423 --> 00:46:19,583
Just take care of Hobie.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
621
00:46:19,583 --> 00:46:24,382
Don't bother. You just worry about
yourself. 'cause that's what you do best.
622
00:46:24,382 --> 00:46:26,022
OK.
623
00:46:26,022 --> 00:46:28,296
Great.
624
00:46:41,619 --> 00:46:43,450
What are we gonna do now?
625
00:46:45,418 --> 00:46:47,778
We'll just...sit tight and...
626
00:46:47,778 --> 00:46:49,298
..stay alert.
627
00:46:49,298 --> 00:46:51,731
Until Cal comes with the help.
628
00:46:53,937 --> 00:46:55,972
Sure.
629
00:46:57,296 --> 00:46:59,416
Great. I'm selfish.
630
00:46:59,416 --> 00:47:03,815
Where are you? I'm out here
saving your ass. In the dark. By myself.
631
00:47:03,815 --> 00:47:06,887
You know? Where are you?
632
00:47:16,853 --> 00:47:19,525
So you really don't think
he's gonna come back?
633
00:47:20,572 --> 00:47:22,092
No.
634
00:47:22,092 --> 00:47:24,844
He only cares about himself.
635
00:48:08,044 --> 00:48:10,884
It's Dan. The pee cup man.
636
00:48:10,884 --> 00:48:12,763
What happened to you?
637
00:48:12,763 --> 00:48:17,562
Something attacked my car last night.
I managed to get away.
638
00:48:17,562 --> 00:48:24,041
I spent the whole day in the forest.
I crawled here on my hands and knees.
639
00:48:24,041 --> 00:48:26,361
There's monsters everywhere!
640
00:48:26,361 --> 00:48:30,440
Everything's gonna be fine.
It might not be fine.
641
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,240
Not without those guns.
642
00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:35,239
At least not till Cal gets back.
We don't need him. Hobie.
643
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,759
We can do this.
644
00:48:36,759 --> 00:48:38,875
Now. Go get me a paperclip.
645
00:48:42,318 --> 00:48:45,558
You look like you've done this before.
A few times.
646
00:48:45,558 --> 00:48:47,077
Isn't she awesome?
647
00:48:47,077 --> 00:48:48,874
She certainly is.
648
00:48:52,956 --> 00:48:54,916
Why'd you come back?
649
00:48:54,916 --> 00:48:56,634
Fair enough.
650
00:48:58,315 --> 00:49:00,595
I found Hobie's notebook.
651
00:49:00,595 --> 00:49:03,355
Hobie. Study your notes.
Let us know what you find out.
652
00:49:03,355 --> 00:49:06,154
Thanks. Cal.
I knew you'd be back.
653
00:49:06,154 --> 00:49:08,588
I know you did. Buddy.
654
00:49:18,152 --> 00:49:22,511
God bless those crazy NRA libertarians
and their weapons of mass destruction.
655
00:49:22,511 --> 00:49:23,990
I call the Uzi.
656
00:49:30,110 --> 00:49:32,499
I'm sorry.
For what?
657
00:49:33,629 --> 00:49:36,069
For leaving.
It's OK.
658
00:49:36,069 --> 00:49:37,989
You came back.
659
00:49:37,989 --> 00:49:40,868
No. I mean.
before all this stuff happened.
660
00:49:40,868 --> 00:49:42,828
I mean...us.
661
00:49:42,828 --> 00:49:46,107
In fact. I wanted to tell you...
I think I've found something.
662
00:49:46,107 --> 00:49:49,787
Something genius?
I think so. Look at this.
663
00:49:49,787 --> 00:49:51,826
Do these look familiar?
Yeah. I see 'em every day.
664
00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:53,586
No! Look at the symbols.
665
00:49:53,586 --> 00:49:55,506
That's them alright.
666
00:49:55,506 --> 00:49:58,145
They fought these things
2.000 years ago.
667
00:49:58,145 --> 00:50:01,985
If those Stone-Aged knuckle-draggers
could beat them. So can we. Right?
668
00:50:01,985 --> 00:50:03,464
The tribe that painted these things
vanished.
669
00:50:03,464 --> 00:50:04,944
No-one knows what happened.
670
00:50:04,944 --> 00:50:08,104
Till now.
Oh. That's just great!
671
00:50:08,104 --> 00:50:10,059
But look at this!
672
00:50:11,423 --> 00:50:14,023
They don't like the light.
673
00:50:14,023 --> 00:50:15,774
Oh-ho! Well done. Hobie.
674
00:50:17,022 --> 00:50:19,502
We've got search-and-rescue lights
in storage.
675
00:50:19,502 --> 00:50:21,141
Let's make these...
676
00:50:21,141 --> 00:50:25,498
..orcs sorry they ever messed with
the US Park Service.
677
00:50:41,018 --> 00:50:44,134
Alright. There you go. Got it? OK.
678
00:50:45,297 --> 00:50:46,286
OK.
679
00:51:08,173 --> 00:51:10,293
OK. Here we go. Last one.
680
00:51:10,293 --> 00:51:12,453
There you go.
681
00:51:12,453 --> 00:51:14,372
OK.
682
00:51:14,372 --> 00:51:15,851
Head down there.
683
00:51:42,807 --> 00:51:45,526
Oh!
684
00:51:49,166 --> 00:51:50,646
What the hell?
685
00:51:50,646 --> 00:51:53,763
Turn it off!
-I'm trying!
686
00:51:55,925 --> 00:51:57,405
Cal!
687
00:51:57,405 --> 00:51:58,884
Cal. Get in here!
688
00:52:16,682 --> 00:52:19,121
Orcs!
689
00:52:19,121 --> 00:52:21,601
Well... We didn't get
all dressed up for nothing.
690
00:52:21,601 --> 00:52:23,240
Get back to your stations.
691
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:26,118
D-man. You just drew the short straw.
692
00:52:32,199 --> 00:52:34,838
Hey. Don't turn it on until I say so.
693
00:52:34,838 --> 00:52:38,198
See anything? Over.
l think l see something.
694
00:52:38,198 --> 00:52:40,870
There's movement in the trees
to the north.
695
00:52:47,316 --> 00:52:48,956
Oh. Yeah.
696
00:53:04,993 --> 00:53:06,711
Think I prefer the drums.
697
00:53:22,110 --> 00:53:23,589
This doesn't look good.
698
00:53:39,387 --> 00:53:40,661
Hold fire!
699
00:55:11,412 --> 00:55:12,447
Now. now!
700
00:56:35,277 --> 00:56:37,357
Hobie. You crazy genius.
701
00:56:58,673 --> 00:57:00,313
They're going away.
702
00:57:00,313 --> 00:57:02,269
They're leaving!
703
00:57:05,312 --> 00:57:08,304
Is that all they got?
704
00:57:09,951 --> 00:57:12,385
Easy. Tiger.
705
00:57:32,388 --> 00:57:33,866
There's movement.
706
00:57:37,267 --> 00:57:38,707
Here they come.
707
00:58:02,982 --> 00:58:05,098
Die! Die!
708
00:59:03,932 --> 00:59:05,285
One got past me!
709
01:00:01,962 --> 01:00:02,997
My briefcase.
710
01:00:10,321 --> 01:00:13,320
I wanted you to have this.
711
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,118
Don't drink it all at once.
712
01:00:26,158 --> 01:00:27,716
I won't.
713
01:00:32,357 --> 01:00:34,556
Help me block the door.
714
01:00:34,556 --> 01:00:38,396
OK. Bring it. Right to the door. Good.
OK. Push it against the wall. Tight.
715
01:00:38,396 --> 01:00:39,876
Right. OK. Good.
716
01:00:39,876 --> 01:00:42,475
On the top. OK. Shove it in.
717
01:00:42,475 --> 01:00:46,594
OK. Good. OK. Push it.
Bring me that over there.
718
01:00:46,594 --> 01:00:49,394
This one there. OK. Good. Alright.
719
01:00:49,394 --> 01:00:52,783
What else we got?
OK. Good. Push under there. OK.
720
01:00:54,273 --> 01:00:57,553
Up the top. OK.
OK. Let's get back to our posts.
721
01:00:57,553 --> 01:01:00,312
Hobie. You're in the back office.
Katie. You're with me.
722
01:01:05,591 --> 01:01:06,911
They're coming.
723
01:01:06,911 --> 01:01:08,583
I know.
724
01:01:09,910 --> 01:01:11,628
Wait.
725
01:01:14,190 --> 01:01:16,989
Rangers for Balancing Rock.
726
01:01:16,989 --> 01:01:19,069
Rangers...
Let's not do this.
727
01:01:19,069 --> 01:01:20,866
Uh-uh.
728
01:01:33,546 --> 01:01:36,856
Those drums
are really pissing me off.
729
01:01:37,986 --> 01:01:40,425
OK. See how they like this.
730
01:01:40,425 --> 01:01:43,705
L'm just a fool Ain't love gran?
731
01:01:43,705 --> 01:01:46,944
Lt's all a matter of supply an. . . .
Here they come.
732
01:01:46,944 --> 01:01:48,424
. . Eman
733
01:01:48,424 --> 01:01:52,263
Wanting to be with you han in han
734
01:01:52,263 --> 01:01:55,383
Just one thing l can't unerstan
735
01:01:55,383 --> 01:01:58,742
You got lots of buyers but just one item
736
01:01:58,742 --> 01:02:03,541
Line 'em up l guess l gotta fight 'em
737
01:02:03,541 --> 01:02:06,541
How much you asking?
l'll top any price
738
01:02:06,541 --> 01:02:10,500
Maybe l'll win with a rop of the ice
739
01:02:10,500 --> 01:02:15,619
There's only one of you to go aroun
740
01:02:16,979 --> 01:02:23,497
L sai. There's not enough of you
to go aroun. . . .
741
01:02:25,218 --> 01:02:26,855
Stay with me. Kis. Here we go.
742
01:02:29,417 --> 01:02:30,817
How much you asking? .
743
01:02:30,817 --> 01:02:33,250
Cal. I seriously need you back here.
I'm not kidding!
744
01:02:34,776 --> 01:02:37,176
CAL!
745
01:02:37,176 --> 01:02:40,655
Can you manage?
I'm good! Go!
746
01:02:40,655 --> 01:02:44,647
There's not enough of you
No. no
747
01:02:47,694 --> 01:02:50,453
There's not enough of you. Baby
748
01:02:50,453 --> 01:02:52,573
To go around. . . .
749
01:02:52,573 --> 01:02:54,453
Something new!
They're coming for the oor!
750
01:02:54,453 --> 01:02:56,852
No. There's not enough of you
751
01:02:56,852 --> 01:02:59,132
There's only one of you
752
01:02:59,132 --> 01:03:01,691
Just me an you. . . .
753
01:03:01,691 --> 01:03:03,044
Stop that thing!
754
01:03:04,331 --> 01:03:07,003
Gonna start something new. .
755
01:03:21,328 --> 01:03:24,008
Katie. How many of those
dynamite arrows do you have left?
756
01:03:24,008 --> 01:03:25,807
Just one.
757
01:03:25,807 --> 01:03:28,605
Use it on that big bastard.
Maybe that'll stop 'em.
758
01:03:45,724 --> 01:03:47,043
Yes!
759
01:04:01,001 --> 01:04:03,231
Oh. Crap.
760
01:04:21,638 --> 01:04:23,275
Oh. Crap.
761
01:04:30,556 --> 01:04:32,433
Take him down!
762
01:04:48,713 --> 01:04:50,226
Get down!
763
01:04:56,072 --> 01:04:59,063
764
01:07:53,242 --> 01:07:56,790
How's he doing?
765
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:03,994
Tell me again about the coconuts.
Cal.
766
01:08:06,079 --> 01:08:10,799
Well. we're gonna have pineapples
and coconuts behind the station.
767
01:08:10,799 --> 01:08:12,558
And. Uh...
768
01:08:12,558 --> 01:08:15,358
..the local girls will use them
to make pina coladas.
769
01:08:15,358 --> 01:08:18,717
And. Uh. They'll do...
dances for us
770
01:08:18,717 --> 01:08:20,597
in their hllla skirts.
771
01:08:20,597 --> 01:08:22,235
their coconut bikinis.
772
01:08:23,356 --> 01:08:26,189
And everyone will call us kings
because...
773
01:08:28,116 --> 01:08:30,635
Hey! Don't you dare die on me. Hobie!
774
01:08:30,635 --> 01:08:34,035
I'm going to Hanalei Bay.
And you're coming with me.
775
01:08:34,035 --> 01:08:35,786
OK?
776
01:08:38,874 --> 01:08:40,704
Into the crawl space! Hurry!
777
01:08:42,993 --> 01:08:43,993
Come on!
778
01:08:43,993 --> 01:08:45,870
Come on!
779
01:09:11,068 --> 01:09:12,708
Are you OK?
780
01:09:12,708 --> 01:09:14,619
Keep going!
781
01:09:16,947 --> 01:09:20,627
Katie. In case we don't
get out of this alive. I love you.
782
01:09:20,627 --> 01:09:24,106
Thanks! That's great.
783
01:09:24,106 --> 01:09:25,903
Bad timing. Though.
784
01:09:44,503 --> 01:09:46,582
You guys head off into the forest.
785
01:09:46,582 --> 01:09:49,182
What about you?
I got three bullets left.
786
01:09:49,182 --> 01:09:51,421
I'm gonna hold 'em off as long as I can.
787
01:09:51,421 --> 01:09:52,934
I'll catch up.
788
01:09:56,460 --> 01:09:58,337
OK. OK. Go.
Get the hell out of here!
789
01:10:37,853 --> 01:10:41,323
Here! Here you go.
790
01:10:52,451 --> 01:10:54,681
Cal?
791
01:11:01,169 --> 01:11:02,887
Cal?
792
01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:43,401
Cal. Look out!
793
01:12:12,797 --> 01:12:14,310
Hey!
794
01:12:43,032 --> 01:12:44,988
Stay the hell out of my park.
795
01:13:32,823 --> 01:13:36,183
And the descendants of those species
who made the difficlllt journey
796
01:13:36,183 --> 01:13:38,463
to these geographically isolated islands
797
01:13:38,463 --> 01:13:41,782
have evolved into the impressive array
of unique Hawaiian native species
798
01:13:41,782 --> 01:13:43,422
we see around us today.
799
01:13:43,422 --> 01:13:46,581
So thank you all for coming on the tour.
ladies and gentlemen.
800
01:13:46,581 --> 01:13:50,500
Hope you enjoy the rest of your stay here
in beautifull Hanalei Bay National Park.
802
01:13:50,500 --> 01:13:54,300
Are you Ranger Robertson.
who slew the orc leader
803
01:13:54,300 --> 01:13:56,052
from the Battle of Balancing Rock?
804
01:13:57,779 --> 01:14:01,169
I'll let my colleague. Ranger Hobart.
take it from here.
805
01:14:03,378 --> 01:14:06,178
Now. I'm sure you're all very excited
to speak about the orcs.
806
01:14:06,178 --> 01:14:08,857
but before we do that.
I'd like to enlighten all you folks
807
01:14:08,857 --> 01:14:11,617
about the mythical legend of the Menehune.
808
01:14:11,617 --> 01:14:13,337
Walk with me as we talk.
809
01:14:13,337 --> 01:14:14,976
Now. These people...
Follow me. Folks.
810
01:14:14,976 --> 01:14:19,651
These mystical creatures
are only two feet tall and very shy.
811
01:14:22,295 --> 01:14:25,414
You scare off those
asshole golf course developers yet?
812
01:14:25,414 --> 01:14:27,214
I'm working on it.
813
01:14:27,214 --> 01:14:29,054
Well. Good for you.
814
01:14:29,054 --> 01:14:32,045
So how's it feel
to be a ranger in paradise?
815
01:14:34,173 --> 01:14:36,846
It's like you - perfect.
61134
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