Original subtitles

Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.

Hi, Sam, this is Carla. I'll be in a little late today.

Eddie's down about his losing streak, and I want to cheer him up.

It may take six or seven hours. You know hockey players. Bye.

Hi, Sam, it's me. I'm on a little break from the trial.

We had some of the most fascinating testimony today.

Of course, I'm not at liberty to discuss it.

Suffice to say...

...and the defendant had the unmitigated gall to get...

They're calling us back in. I have to go. Love you. Bye.

This is Woody.

Sam, I got home tonight and remembered Diane called after you left

and wanted me to give you a message. I love you. Bye.

Sam, this is Woody again.

That message I just left, you understand it was Diane sayin' "I love you", not me.

All right, bye.

This is Woody again.

Don't misunderstand me, I really like you a lot.

This is Woody again.

I've been thinkin' it over, Sam. I do love you.

Hey, Normie? Are you gonna do my taxes again this year?

Sure thing, bud.

Yeah, boy, I'm gonna need some help shufflin' through these new tax laws.

What new tax laws?

Maybe I'll just short-form it this year.

There's a little more Eddie LeBec trade talk here.

Oh, yeah?

Terrific. Bruins are playin' Gretzky at Edmonton tonight.

Boy, another chance to see Eddie "Come on in and bring your puck" LeBec.

That zuke is a disgrace to his teammates and this fair city.

- Give him a break. - It's not like we're not for the guy,

with Carla going out with him.

But the guy's in a slump. Let's face it.

An interesting thing about slumps.

Statistics show they can be grouped into four categories.

That's right. 65 per cent physical, 17 per cent emotional,

15 per cent psychological and three per cent dental.

Know something? You're a walking encyclopedia.

Thank you, Normie.

Unfortunately, you're a talking encyclopedia.

Recess, motions, recess. When is this thing gonna end?

Two weeks and the wife hasn't even taken the stand yet.

Sorry. I missed a couple words of testimony.

I wanted to double-check it with the court reporter.

Why do you keep your own record? They write down everything that's said.

They don't write down emotions...

attitudes, telling facial glances.

Study my face. What am I thinking?

As the foreman of your jury,

I feel that it is my duty to record each shred of evidence

to give us every kernel of information

so that we can make the thoughtful and correct decision.

I've made my decision. I think he's innocent.

- Yes. - Why don't we just tell the judge that

- and go home? - Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

- How can you possibly think that? - I believed his testimony.

- Seems like a good guy. - And he was impeccably dressed.

I can't believe that I'm hearing this. These are your grounds for acquittal?

Well, pardon me my objectivity, but I don't happen to agree.

He did it!

I'm sure of it. I can tell just by looking at him.

- Oh, yeah? - Yes.

I was in a very similar situation to the wife

in that my fiancé has the same disarming brand of charm.

Are you saying that you're about to marry a murderer?

No, don't stop her. Let her do it.

Laugh if you will.

I'm not fooled by Mr Grand and neither should you be.

Ladies and gentlemen, the judge would like you back in the courtroom.

- What's going on? - Well, just between us,

- Mrs Grand is dropping the charges. - What? Dropping charges? Why?

She realized she still loves her husband.

Excuse me. Would it be possible for me to talk with Mrs Grand?

Are you serious? It's over.

- I am so happy for him. - I'm happy for us. No more jury duty.

Where are you guys going afterward?

I tell ya, the guy's a bum.

Sammy, two drafts and a Manhattan. And who's a bum?

- Eddie. - Fisher. Eddie Fisher.

The guy hasn't had a hit record in years.

You better be talkin' about him and not my Eddie.

- Worried about the game tonight? - Of course I'm worried about it.

I know Eddie's had a couple of bad games. Seven.

Nine. Seven.

I've never been very good with numbers.

I got a really good feeling about tonight's game, you know.

The weather's cleared, it's a full moon,

and it's an even-numbered day and month. He'll turn it around. You'll see.

- I think you're right. - Absolutely, Carla.

Hey, I don't know if you guys have the same feelin' I do,

but I think it is just more than a coincidence

that Eddie LeBec's bad run started when he began datin' Carla.

- I say she's a jinx. - Oh, come on. Hey, don't say that.

Carla's finally found someone she really likes.

- What else could it possibly be? - It's ridiculous.

I don't believe in that... Frasier, come here. Listen.

Tell these guys, will ya, that there's nothin' to the idea

that Carla might be jinxing Eddie.

Well, Sam, technically, there is no such thing as a jinx,

unless someone thinks there is.

Eddie's very superstitious.

If he believes that Carla's a jinx, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

All right, so Carla's a jinx.

What are we gonna do about it?

I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I'm not gonna let that woman kiss me.

Like there's a real danger of that happening.

- Hello, everyone. - Oh, hello.

Well, Sam, you'll be happy to know that you have me back full time now.

- The trial is over. - Well, good. Who won?

Certainly not justice.

I'm afraid the wife decided to drop all charges,

but I say the husband is a con artist

who somehow managed to convince that naive woman that he loves her.

How can a man tell a woman that he loves her and yet try to kill her?

I can see it.

Sammy, could you step down to my office for one second?

We were thinkin' maybe someone's gotta tell Carla she's jinxin' Eddie.

And what suicidal idiot did you have in mind to do that?

- Your name kept comin'... - No, no, no, no...

Come on, Sammy. Look, it's just for all us guys whose lives are so damn shallow

that we depend upon the success

of our local sports teams to give us identity.

- Am I right? - No, no, no, no way.

If you wanna do this, then we'll do it fair and square.

We'll draw straws. Don't look.

That's fair, Normie.

Now I want the person who has to tell Carla to know

that there's a choir job waiting for them in Vienna.

Sorry, Norm.

Well, on the upside, Normie, you're in for some great strudel.

Oh, damn. I've never been to Europe.

Listen, Carla.

A few of the guys and I have been thinking...

Now this probably has like absolutely nothing to do with anything, but...

Yeah, Norm, I've been thinkin' about Eddie

and what's happened to his game and all that.

Do you think it's possible that I could be jinxin' him?

You? Jinxing Eddie?

That's silly. No way! No.

Thank you, God.

- Sam? - Yeah?

You don't think it's possible that I'm jinxin' Eddie?

- No. - Me either.

It's gotta be somethin' else.

And when he comes here, we're gonna figure it out together.

You really like the guy?

I am this close to fallin' hard for him.

Oh, boy.

- Hey, Eddie! - Hey, Eddie!

- Hi. - How's it goin'?

Well, after my last game,

a fan sent me some new equipment.

Dark glasses and a white cane.

You're just havin' a slump. You'll get out of it.

I don't know, Sam. I've tried everything.

I've been watching game films, taking extra practice.

I don't know what to do.

What did you used to do to break out of slumps when you were pitching?

Me? Well, I drank myself into a coma.

Did it work?

- Hey, Eddie. - Hey, hey, Carla.

Tonight's your night, I know it.

- Yeah, well, facing Gretzky? - Hey, forget him.

You carryin' that lucky clove of garlic I gave ya?

Yes, he is.

I don't know, Carla. I'm startin' to get that choking feeling

I get a day or two before they send me down to the minors.

Come on. I don't wanna hear that. There's gotta be an explanation for this,

and we're gonna figure it out right now. Let's take it from the beginning, okay?

- When was the last time you won? - Well, let's see.

I think that would be the Canadiens game.

That's right, because I remember that's the night we met.

Yeah, it could have been somewhere around then.

Yeah, so, when did things start goin' bad?

Well, I guess that would be the next game.

Right. All right, now, think really hard.

Have you been doing anything different during that time?

Eating different foods, taking a different route to the Garden,

buying different magazines. Anything at all...

No! No, nothing at all! I've been living my life the same way as always.

Except for one thing.

- Eddie, do me a favor. - Yeah, Carla.

- Beat it! - What's the problem?

The problem is we just don't work anymore.

It's been a lot of grins, but we both knew it wasn't gonna last forever.

It's time to hit the pavement.

I don't get it. I thought things were goin' great for us.

They were, but they're not anymore.

And I just don't wanna talk about it, so shove off!

Okay. Whatever you say.

I'll see you around, I guess.

- Pretty gutsy thing to do. - Gutsy, nothing.

I'm gonna prove to all you yutzes, and to myself, that I'm no jinx.

If Eddie loses tonight, it's not my fault. You'll see.

He can stink just as bad without me as he stunk with me.

It's not Romeo and Juliet, but it has a certain charm.

Time running out in the third period. Still 1-0 in favor of the Boston Bruins.

Gretzky across the Boston line, pass in front, rolling save by Eddie LeBec!

Sprawling to the front and kicked it with his right.

- Two beers and a vodka rocks. - Yeah, yeah.

- Is my order up yet? - What? Carla, give me a sec.

There's people here, Sammy.

You runnin' a bar or you watchin' some stupid hockey game?

All right, all right. Wanna know what the score is?

- Is Boston leading? - Yeah.

- Did the Otters score on Eddie? - No.

I'm not interested.

Penalty! He calls that slashing?

Frasier, he nearly cut Curry in half there.

Oh, Ticky-tack. It's a wussy call. Let the guys play the game!

Good evening...

Aren't you... Bill and Sherry Grand?

That's right.

What an incredible coincidence.

I was the foreman of the jury at your trial.

Oh, yeah! The one with the notebook.

- Oh, you noticed? - It was hard not to.

I was keeping track of the testimony. Diane Chambers.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Why weren't you at the party?

- Party? What party? - The party the jury threw for me.

I'm surprised they would have had it without you.

You seem so attractive and intelligent.

Yes, well, those qualities confuse some people.

Besides, I had to work. But who cares about me?

The important thing is you are back together again.

Thank you. Could we maybe order?

- I'd like a glass of white wine. - Wine.

- What would you like? - A Bloody Mary.

Excuse me. I know this is very forward of me,

but the last time I saw you in court, you were ranting and raving,

calling this man a wife murderer.

It's very shocking for me to see you with him now so blissful.

I guess I just realized how much I love him.

I really admire you. Your trust, your conviction.

If you don't mind a little friendly advice,

I'd sleep with one eye open.

I'll get the drinks.

It's a good thing you dropped the charges.

I'd hate to have my fate in her hands.

Bill, why did you have the power saw in the kitchen?

- Sam... - Hit 'em!

A white wine and a Bloody Mary.

- Human nature. - What?

That couple over there. They're the Grands.

You remember. The case on which I was foreman of the jury?

Oh, right, right, right. The power saw.

Yeah. Oh, I tell ya, it never ceases to amaze me

how some people can be so ignorant of what is obvious to the rest of the world.

There's something to be said for forgiveness.

In fact, in this rather jaded day and age,

it's nice to know that amor vincit omnia.

Love conquers all.

And I, for one, shall not stand in its way.

- I'm going to pay for this round. - You better hurry.

It looks like he's about to fire up the old Black and Decker there.

Don't touch me! Stay away from me! Just stay away from me!

- What happened? - What happened?

Why don't you check your stupid little notebook!

So the system works after all.

Back behind Mark Messier starting out at the center ice.

Otters trail one-nothing. They fool the goal tender.

Pressure really on Eddie LeBec right now.

Please, screw up. Please screw up.

Sam, I don't understand. Why does Carla want Eddie to screw up?

Well, you see, if Eddie loses, then Carla wins

because it proves she's no longer a jinx.

But if he wins, then Carla loses 'cause it reinforces the jinx theory.

The old boy loses, girl wins, boy wins,

girl loses, jinx reinforcement theory.

If I've seen it once, I've seen it...

Still 1-0. Boston Bruins lead. Time running out.

Otters bring it out to center ice. Mark Messier across the red line

into the Bruins' zone. Gives it to Glenn Anderson,

cutting in front. He shoots. It is saved by Eddie LeBec! Point blank range.

- Eddie LeBec with a great save... - Damn!

...wins this game for the Boston Bruins.

- Hey, Sam! - Hey.

- See the game? - Sure did. Congratulations!

- Thanks. It felt great. - Yeah.

Ever have one of those nights you just knew you could do no wrong?

Yeah, all the time.

Well, twice.

- There you go. - Thanks.

What are you doin' here?

Just came by for a drink. Is that okay?

Free country.

You know, Carla, after the game tonight,

I figured out why you dumped me.

I guess I'm a little slow on the uptake since I've taken so many on the melon.

I guess you wanted to see if you were causin' my slump?

Yeah. And guess what?

Well, it doesn't seem fair that the girl that means more to me

than anybody else ever has, you know, turns out to be a...

- Turns out... - Say it!

A jinx! A hex, a whammy, a voodoo, a curse!

What am I gonna do?

You're not gonna do anything.

I'm not gonna be responsible for the Bruins missin' the playoffs,

or for your career going down the toilet.

Hey, Eddie.

- Knock 'em dead. - Yeah.

And watch out for those wrist shots low in the corner on your stick side.

Okay, you got it.

Oh, I wanted you to have this.

- What is it? - It's a recording of our song.

I thought, you know, maybe sometime you would,

I don't know, maybe play it,

and think of me, you know, think good stuff.

I will.

Okay.

All right, I'll see ya, Carla.

- Yeah. See ya. - You too, Sam.

Well, for a refreshing change,

Carla Tortelli ends up without the guy.

This shirt's drip-dry if you wanna give it a...

No, no, come on. It's happened so many times my tear ducts are all dried up.

Why don't you go on home, Sam? Come on, I'll clean up here.

- Is that what you want? - Yeah.

I think I wanna be alone for...

Okay, but if you want someone to talk to, I'll be over at Diane's.

So, if you wanna call, just go ahead.

Please call.

Thanks, Sam. Good night.

- Hey, Wood, what ya workin' on? - Cheers newsletter.

Wood, Cheers doesn't have a newsletter.

Well, there's a scoop. I'll make that my lead story.

- Night, Wood. - Good night.

Say, Carla, you sure you don't wanna go to the game with me tonight?

- I'm really on a hot streak. - You're tellin' me.

For the past few weeks, you've been fantastic.

Not bad on the ice, either.

- Do me a favor and beat it! - What's the problem?

We just don't work anymore.

It's been a lot of grins, but we knew it wasn't gonna last.

I don't get it. I thought things were great between us.

They were, but they're not, so hit the bricks.

- Whatever you say. - I was in here a couple of weeks ago.

Didn't Carla and her boyfriend break up then?

Yeah. They do that before every game. It's kind of a ritual.

Hey, Carla, that's it! We're finished!

- Through! Goodbye! - Goodbye!

Red Wings Thursday night. See ya then.

Superstitious little guy, but he's mine.