All language subtitles for Cheers.S03E11.Peterson.Crusoe.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

And a Bloody Mary for you,
Vodka Collins,

and an Old Fashioned,
light on the bitters.

Ooh, Diane, look.

I think you got it perfect
this time.

Every drink wrong.

My God, what is this?

Boy, does
your waitressing stink.

My waitressing
does not stink.

It does, too.

- It doesn't.
- Does.

If I really
put my mind to it,

I could waitress circles
around you.

You stink.

I smell a wager, Carla.

No, you smell your waitressing.

I challenge you
to a waitressing contest.

Whoever gets the most tips
between now and closing time wins.

You're on, sucker.

I'll even give you
a 10-buck head start.

That's an insult!

And thank you.

We'll need a judge
to make sure this contest

is conducted
on the up and up.

It's Sam's bar.
We'll let him be the judge.

Oh, ladies, I'm honored,

but don't you think
it'd be better

to find someone to judge this
who gives a rat's behind?

Well, I do. Make me the judge.

Oh, we couldn't have
a more impartial judge.

Oh, thank you,
Diane.

Now, if either one of you
suspects any wrongdoing,

you'll come to me

and I'll make an immediate
and final decision.

Do we have
any appeal?

Well, I think
you're both cute as a button,

but that's not
going to affect my decision.

Oh, oh... Get ready
for the good times.

The big guy
doth approach.

Afternoon, everybody.

- Norm?
- Normie?

Norman?

Why don't you sit down, Norm?

What's the problem?

You know that job I landed
over in Braintree?

I had to take a company physical
this afternoon,

and apparently there was something
on the chest X-ray.

Something bad, Normie?

No, a happy face.

Sorry, Coach.

Yes, yes,
something bad.

A spot of some sort.

They sent it over to a specialist
to take a look.

Well... Now,
come on, Norm, these--

These things
happen sometimes,

and they turn out
to be nothing.

They just
come to nothing.

Yeah.

We all come to nothing, Sam.

I'm just going to get there
a little sooner.

Norman, you're jumping
to conclusions.

Now, stop being so morbid.

Yeah, ever since
I heard this news,

all I can think of

is how I may be coming
to the end of my life

with nothing to show for it.

Well, you've got all of us,
your friends.

And we're going to be with you
all the way through this.

You bet.

You mean we're going to have to
have the surgery and everything, Diane?

I'm not saying
I won't do it...

I'll explain it
later, Coach.

Everybody says,
"I'll explain it later".

Cheers.

Oh, hi.

Yeah.

Uh, Norm, it's Vera.

She says she needs
to talk to you right away.

She's heard
from the doctor.

Hi, honey.

Yeah, that's what I figured.

So, what'd he say?

No, no,
that's the greatest news.

I can't believe it.

Yes, yes, you're right,
we do have something to celebrate.

So, what are you
going to do?

Yeah, yeah, sounds good.
That sounds good.

No, no, I don't know
what I'll do,

but I can't think
about it right now.

I have a lot of other
things on my mind.

Yeah, I'll talk to you
later, honey. Bye.

A flaw on the X-ray.

Oh, let me buy you
a drink, Normie.

No, no, no, no,
not right now, Cliff.

Right now I think I'm going to take
a little walk with a gentleman

I haven't been paying a whole lot
of attention to lately...

Norm Peterson.

I think I understand.

Well, I don't, but I'm sure
you'll tell me later.

Well, Carla, counting
the 10-buck head start

that you gave Diane,
you're still ahead nine dollars.

And you've got only...
one minute to go.

Yeah, but you know,

Diane gave me
a good contest.

I mean, she hustled
what passes for her buns off tonight.

Good. Then you're not going
to rub her nose in it?

To the bone.

Thank you very much,

and a happy 50th
wedding anniversary to you both.

Fiftieth anniversary?

Yeah, they ordered a
bottle of Dom Perignon.

I thought they were just
a couple of cheap old coots!

Coach, a $20 tip.

That's it!
Diane wins it!

Really?

Oh, this
is so exciting!

Yeah, who's going
to sleep tonight?

Oh... Don't hurt me!

I didn't mean to gloat, Carla.
I'm sorry.

Please don't hurt me.

I just wanted
to shake your hand.

But if you don't want
to shake my hand,

uh, I'll just say
congratulations.

Sometimes there is no pleasure
in conquest.

Yeah, I haven't forgotten
our first night together either.

Did you find Norm?

- Yeah, boy, is he weirding out.
- What do you mean?

By the time I caught up to him,

he was sitting
in the middle of a garden.

Said he wanted
to smell the roses.

Well, I don't think
that's weird.

Yeah, it was a vegetable garden.

That's weird.

Yeah.
I mentioned it to him.

He said, "So?
I want to smell the squash.

Leave me alone."

Then he got up

and he wandered on
towards the pier.

I shudder to think what
he wants to smell down there.

This is that bar
I was telling you about.

These people sit in here
night after night,

wasting their lives away,

but oh, no, don't hate them,
pity them, as I do.

You see,
they're chained here,

unable to soar free
like you and me.

Soar, little guy, soar.

Soar!

You want to sit down,
have a beer or something?

Oh, no, no time for that.

I just stopped in
to say goodbye.

See, uh,
I'm sailing for Bora Bora.

- Bora Bora?
- Yeah.

Ever since I was a little boy,
the South Pacific has been calling,

"Come to me, Norm.
This is where you belong."

And I've always ignored that call...
till now.

So, I'm going to go to the beach
and build a hut,

send for Vera,
and live there the rest of our lives.

Isn't that nice?

Yeah. I booked passage
on one of those cargo ships

where you, uh,
just work light duties.

We shove off at midnight, so...

Norman, wait a minute.

What about a passport?

What about shots?

Oh, I already have my passport
and, believe it or not,

you don't need any shots
for Bora Bora.

There's no disease there.

Lunacy is on its way.

- Norm?
- Yeah?

What about that great
new job you got, huh?

Right, right. I should really
call that guy, shouldn't I?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sammy, you see
what he's doing, right?

The old jokemeister just
tugging at our ankles, huh?

Hold onto your socks,
gents. Here he goes.

Hi. Mr. Feldman, sir?

Hi. Norm Peterson here.

Oh, awfully sorry to wake you,
sir, uh, but you see,

I just wanted to call in to let you know
I'm not coming to work tomorrow.

I'm, uh, sailing to Bora Bora
and going to live in a hut.

Yeah, as a matter of fact,
I am in a bar.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
my head's quite clear, sir.

I'm quitting.

Yes, I realize
I'm burning my bridges here, sir,

but there's no hard feelings
on this end.

As a matter of fact, uh,
if you're ever in Bora Bora,

stop on by the old Peterson hut

and, uh, we'll share
a cup of grog, sir.

Maybe I'll take you out...

uh, right,
I realize it's late, sir.

Very sorry.

I pity that man.

Sammy, I want you to give these

to some poor soul
who may need them, huh?

Well, everybody,
this is goodbye.

I don't know what
I can really say to you folks.

You've been
like family to me.

I'm going to miss you all,
that's for sure.

Oh, come on, man,
this is nuts.

I mean, people just
don't drop everything

and sail away to Bora Bora.

I do.

Goodbye, Normie.

Goodbye, Coach.

Coach, Coach...
You're going to feel pretty silly

when he pulls the plug on this gag.
Wait and see.

You understand,
don't you, Coach?

No, Normie, but they'll
tell me later.

Hey, uh, you better get used
to what you're doing there, Norm.

They got all-male crews
on those ships.

Okay, Norm, joke's over.

Knock it off.
It's ended.

Norm...

You kidder.

Boy, you had us going there
for a while.

Wingtips are for
accountants, Cliff ie.

I'm a beachcomber now.

Normie's gone.

Here you are, miss.

The service
was excellent.

Oh, that was nothing.

You should have seen me
in the old days.

I was something then.

I'm telling you,

people would come from miles away
to see me schlep drinks.

That was before...
The Troubles.

She should
be over this by now.

It's been weeks.

I robbed her
of her zest for life.

You do have that effect
on people.

Sam, Sam, we got another letter
from Normie.

Oh, good.
Good, good, good.

Norm letter here,
everybody.

Okay, uh, let me see here.

Oh, he says he's found the beach
he was looking for,

and he's built a hut.

All right, listen to this,
listen to this--

"I'll send for Vera
when I've built hers. Ha ha.

Whoops, I've lost my hammer.
Ha ha."

He put the haha's in.

Good thing.

"Every morning,
a native girl

leaves a coconut
outside my door.

I'm a little shaky on
the local tribal customs,

so either
we're married,

or I'm going to be
sacrificed next Tuesday.

Ha ha."

Boy, he sure knows
where to put those ha-ha's.

"Goodbye. Norm."

Hmm, you know, it took
a great deal of courage

for Norman to do
what he did.

I admire and envy him.

He has heeded
Thoreau,

who admonished us
that, quote,

"Life is frittered away
by detail.

Simplify, simplify."

Why didn't he just say
one "simplify"?

Let me see the old,
uh, postmark there, Sammy.

Yep, yep, she's valid,
all right.

Well, looks like our Normie
made it to paradise, huh?

Yeah.

Two scotch rocks,
Coach.

No hurry.

I'll wait till the good waitress
gets her order.

Carla, you are
the better waitress.

It's been proven
time and time again.

What does it matter
who won that meaningless contest?

It matters.

Well, what would it take
to make you feel better?

Hearing you admit
that you cheated.

Carla,
I didn't cheat.

Would it kill you
to say you did?

I did not cheat.

Two little words
to restore my will to live.

It doesn't seem
like that much to ask.

Okay, Carla, I cheated.

You cheated?

Why?

That contest
meant that much to you?

You are
a very sick woman.

Does anybody in this bar
realize how sick this woman is?

She cheated on that silly
little contest.

I did not cheat!

First, she says
she cheated,

and then she says
she didn't cheat.

Now, what are we supposed
to believe?

The things people do
for their egos.

Yeah, cheating on a silly contest.

Well, I suppose I could go
around the room

explaining to everyone
exactly what happened,

but I know that I did not cheat,
and that's enough.

I'll just let it drop.

I'll be in my office
if you need me, Coach.

Yeah.

I did not cheat.

We had this contest
a couple weeks ago...

Evening, Sammy.

Hey, Norm.

Norm?

Why aren't you in Bora--
Bora Bora?

Why do you think?

I chickened out,
just like everybody said I would.

Never even got on the damn boat.

These are getting stale, though.

Do you have any beer nuts
in here?

You've been hiding in here?

Just for a week.

Why?

You kidding?

I made such a flaming jackass
out of myself,

I'd be a laughing stock
if I went out there.

So, you plan to stay
in here forever?

Yeah. Is that a problem?

Because, uh...

the way I figure, Sam,
I can just, uh...

you let me in in the morning
when you come to work,

and then, at night,
when everyone's going home,

just let me out.

Just like I always did.

"Just like I always..."

No, no, look,
get a bar stool, right?

You set it up, right, nice
and close, just like this.

Every now and then
you slip me a mug of brew.

Come on.
It'll be just like it used to be.

Come on.

- Come on.
- What?

I know how you feel, man.

You had this wild, crazy dream,

and, uh, you announced it
to everybody,

and you didn't live up to it,

but come on,
these people out there love you.

They're your friends.
They don't care.

Come on.

All right, all right.

I guess it probably
meant more to me

than it does
to them anyway, huh?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh, maybe you ought to...

Yeah.

A toast to the man
who the South Pacific natives

are probably calling
the Great Tanned Beast,

an inspiration
to us all,

Norm Peterson!

Hey, uh, the sofa opens out
to a bed there, and, uh...

And laundry day is...

- Tuesday.
- Tuesday. Tuesday, right.

I have never cheated
on anything in my life.

The integrity of Diane Chambers
remains unblemished.

Excuse me.
Could we chat for just a second?

Trust me, trust me.

These people are your friends, man.
Just listen.

Another toast.

To Paul Gauguin,
Robert Louis Stevenson,

and Norm Peterson,

three men cut
from the same cloth.

Although they had to use
a few more yards

for our pal Norm.

Yay, Norm.

Yeah, that Norm is quite a guy,
isn't he?

You know, I don't--

I don't think he had
to sail the South Pacific

to make us admire
and respect him.

He did for me.

It was the only worthwhile thing
he ever did in an otherwise wasted life.

Come on, come on, I'm serious.

I mean, if Norm
hadn't have gone to Bora Bora,

I don't think we would have
thought any the less of him.

Do you?

You kidding?

- Of course, we would, Sam.
- Definitely.

Sam, what are you
talking about?

Well, it's hypothetical,
but just suppose that Norm had spent

the last three weeks in a motel someplace
and that he sent those letters

before the ship sailed
and gave them to some fellow to mail

when he got to the islands.

We wouldn't think
any the less of him, now would we?

That yellow-belly
is in your office, isn't he?

No, no. Now,
don't be silly.

Oh, well, then if he's not,
he's not going to mind me doing this.

Oh, no, you don't.

Swell bunch of friends
I have here.

That's the last you're going to see
of Norm Peterson.

Normie,
you yellow-belly!

You get out--
Show your face around here!

Come out of there.

Come on.
Lay off, will you?

The guy feels terrible.

Yeah...

Yeah, welcome back, buddy!

He's afraid that you're going
to laugh at him because he chickened out.

Norman?

Everyone has had a dream
that they let slip away.

Yeah, but not one
everyone knew about.

Would you like
to know about mine?

Not particularly, no.

When I was a child,

I wanted to be a ballerina.

I had...

I had years of private lessons,

but when the time finally came
to audition for the Juilliard School,

with my first step,

I fell down
and bloodied my nose.

And before I could do
anything else,

they politely said, "Thank you very much"
and I never heard from them again.

Thank you very much.

Okay, Diane.
Very good, dear.

Thank you, thank you.

Norm?

Normie, do you want to hear
a crazy, hopeless dream?

I wanted to play baseball,

and, uh, maybe coach a little,
you know?

And then afterwards tend bar
in a nice place.

And look what happened to me.

Coach, that's exactly
what happened to you.

Oh, yeah.

No wonder I'm such a happy guy.

Good try, Coach,
good try.

Norm, has any of this
helped you?

Oh, yeah, I'm doing
a jig in here, Sam.

Go away.

All right, Sammy, clear the decks.
It's up to me.

Normie, it's your best buddy.

Go away, Frank.

Even in pain,
he can make us smile.

Norm?
You know it's Cliff ie.

And I too,
once had a dream, Norm.

No, no, more than a dream,
really.

It was an all-consuming passion.

I wanted to be a trapeze artist.

Trapeze artist?
Like, in a circus?

No, like in
your finer restaurants, Sam.

When I was a lad, I went to see
the movie Trapeze

with Burt Lancaster
and Tony Curtis.

No kidding, Cliff ie?

Did you sit between them?

Coach...

I must have seen it 20 times.

I always imagined myself
up there with them,

high above the center ring.

The spotlight shines upon me,
sweat glistens from my body.

Below me, the women's eyes
glaze over with lust,

the men, they grind
their teeth with envy.

I lunge at the bar
with almost an insane daring,

flying through the air,
completing one, two, three, oh, my God,

four somersaults!

The first quadruple
in the history of the big top, Norm.

But I became a postal carrier,
and the rest is history.

No, Norm...
having a dream isn't stupid.

It's not having them
that's stupid.

What's stupid is the picture of you
in one of those outfits.

Hey, uh, I'd like to
take issue with this...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Stop laughing at my pal here,
all right?

This man had the only dream
that was more ridiculous than mine.

- Oh, yeah?
- A lot more, I might add.

Is that right, Marco ROLLO?

Excuse me, I've got to buy a drink here
for the great Cliff ini.

Oh, the next round is on me
for Ferdinand Magelly-belly.

Oh, listen to
the Flying Rear-enda here.

Oh, is that right,
Christopher Columbutt?