All language subtitles for Cheers.S03E07.Coach.in.Love.2.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

You got any fresh coffee?

- Mm-hmm.
- Great.

Oh, Carla, boy, I hate to criticize,
but I can't believe you actually read

these sleazy scandal sheets.
I mean, look at this. Even I'm above this.

"Bigfoot Stole My Wife."

"Have Aliens Taken Over Your Pet?"
I mean, this is garbage.

For your information, Sam,
I don't read those articles.

I think they're just as stupid
as you do.

I get it because they happen to have
a great crossword puzzle.

Okay, let's see.
Hmm, seven across.

"Five-headed cow
born in Vermont."

Maybelle.

Uh, 16 across.

"State with the most UFO babies."

Arkansas.

I don't believe you.

Thirty-two across. "The aphrodisiac
found in every kitchen cabinet."

Uh, I don't know what that one is.
Let me see what 14 down is.

"Where Franco's brain is being kept alive."

Fish tank.

Okay, so, the fifth letter
of the aphrodisiac is an A.

Now I remember. Oregano.

Trash.

Hi, sweetheart.

Oh, come on, don't look at me like that.

I know we haven't spent
that much time together lately, but

an awful lot's been happening down at Cheers.
Let me just grab a beer.

Anyway, this woman, Irene Blanchard,
walks into the bar a few weeks ago,

and Coach falls for her
like a ton of bricks.

Kind of like when we first
laid eyes on each other.

Yeah, well, next thing you know,
he's taking her out on the town

and they've been seeing
each other every night since.

So I guess it wasn't totally unexpected
when Coach comes in tonight and--

Hey, hey, hey, I saw that yawn.

Well, I can finish this story
tomorrow.

Come on, let's you and me
turn in, huh?

No. No!
Shh. You'll wake up Vera.

- Norm?
- Be right up, dear.

You stupid dog.

I hope she's not in the mood
to talk...

or anything.

Antony, everything under control?

Yeah, Ma. What'd you think?
The place'd be on fire?

Never mind, wise guy. I was a little worried,

this being your first time
watching the kids alone.

- Yeah, I know, but it was no sweat.
- That's my little man.

It feels good to get off my feet.

- Hey, where are the kids, anyway?
- Locked in the hall closet.

- Well, let 'em out.
- Yeah, sure, Ma.

I didn't say now.

Would you like another piece
of pie, Cliff ie?

Ah, well, Ma, I shouldn't, but I can't resist
your gooseberry pie, Mom.

Wipe your chin, dear.
That's a good boy.

Did you have a nice time
tonight at Cheers?

- Yeah, it was okay.
- Did you meet any young ladies?

Well, no, but there was
some excitement, though.

Remember I told you about the Coach
and that woman Irene?

Well, tonight he asked her to marry him
and, uh, you know, she said yeah.

Next thing you know,
she gets a call from her daughter,

and Irene's won the lottery.
Two million smackers.

- Good Lord.
- Yeah, yeah.

We're kind of worried, though. I mean, she seemed
to forget all about Coach when she won that dough.

Well, maybe it'll work out.

Cliff ie, when are you going to take me
to Cheers to meet your friends?

- When hell freezes over.
- What was that?

Uh, when I get the front
seat of the car fixed, Ma.

Fine.

Hello.

What are you wearing?

- Hello, Frasier.
- I'm not Frasier.

I'm not wearing anything.
Does that excite you?

Frasier, I know it's you.
It's very late.

Blast! You always know it's me.

You always do the same thing.

I just called to say I love you.

Oh, that's sweet.

You're the most thoughtful
boyfriend I've ever had.

That's not saying much.

Oh, speaking of Sam...
Ooh, this is good.

That woman
Coach has been seeing, Irene,

has a daughter, Sue,

and when they came
in a few weeks ago,

Sam offered to pick up Sue
so Coach would be with Irene,

but she turned him down flat.
She was great.

And the best thing is
it's really been bugging Sam--

And then tonight,
she did it again.

I hate to admit it,
but I'm enjoying it.

You little devil. Well, my dearest,
I will bid you goodnight.

By the way, I really don't have any clothes on.
This phone booth is freezing.

Goodnight, Frasier darling.
Sweet dreams.

Curly, I'm going to really give
it to you this time.

Good Lord, aren't all the
eight-year-olds in bed by now?

- ...some of our top stories...
- Good, some late news.

Well, let's see
what's on the old tube here.

On Capitol Hill...

Well, I watched some news over the weekend.
That's good enough, I guess.

Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!

Oh, great. I love this one.
They're doctors.

Hey, Diane.

Surprise. Found something else
of yours lying around my place.

Remember this?

Good Lord.

Is that for wearing
or signaling aircraft?

Well, this is your teddy,
isn't it?

I don't know
which of your mindless bimbi

left that in your apartment.

If she paid money for it, she should be seen to
and chemically altered.

Hey, uh, what,
you don't like the color?

What made you think
that was mine?

Well, you're the only person I know
that shops at those fancy French places.

"The House of Ooh La La."

Get it away from me.
It's horrendous.

Wow.

This is lovely.

Do you want it?

Me?
Oh, I can't take this, Sam.

No, no, please, go ahead.

God, thanks.

Oh, from the House
of Ooh La La.

Evening, everybody.

Norm!

Norman.

Tell us what you know, Norm.

Oh, God's in his heaven
and something, something, something.

- How about a beer?
- Yeah, that's it.

See, your Florida tan is far deeper, far richer,

than your ordinary, common
run-of-the-mill tan.

As a matter of fact,
I've got a patch over here.

I'll show you the distinction.

I see Cliff found somebody
he hasn't bored to death

with his Florida spiel
yet, huh?

Marco Polo didn't talk
about his trip this much.

Now, you see
how the rayon sock...

Oh, gee, it's 7:00.
You wonder where the evening's gone.

Yeah, I'll remember where I was.

So will I.

Nice guy.

- So, where's the Coach? Is he off or what?
- No, he's in the back working.

I understand Irene
postponed the wedding again.

Oh, what's that make?
Three times now?

Can I have a Stoli, rocks, Sam?

Yeah, I don't think he's seen much of her
since she became Miss Moneybags.

Yeah, yeah, just like a woman.
I tell you, they're only good for one thing.

And for you, not even that.

No, I'm kind of worried.
I mean, this doesn't seem to faze Coach.

He just keeps going on
like nothing happened.

Yeah, it's like he's got
his head in the sand.

- Did my fiancée call, Sam?
- Uh, no, Coach, not today.

- Well, when she does, I'll be in the back, huh?
- Hey, Coach, uh, wait a second here.

Let me have a little talk with you.

Uh, everything going along
all right with you and Irene?

- Yeah, sure, never better.
- Ah.

Well, I hear she changed
the wedding date again.

- What's the story?
- Well, it's just nerves, Sam.

- You know, you know, it's only natural.
- But you've hardly seen her lately, Coach.

Well, she's been making
all these wedding plans.

I'm not worried about it.

Coach, she moved
and she didn't tell you where.

Well, I am a little
worried about that,

but with all the excitement,
she probably just forgot.

Coach, listen, listen to me.

Look, I'm going to tell you straight,
and you just better listen to me right now.

Wait a minute, Sam.

Before you do,

- could I ask a very special favor of you?
- What?

Sam, would you please
be my best man?

Oh, Coach...
Oh, sure, sure.

I'd be proud to.

Thanks, Sam.

Now, if I can just clear this
with Irene.

Well, what does she care
who your best man is?

No, it's not Irene. It's Sue.

Uh, if you showed up
at the wedding,

she said something
about hiring a sniper.

Well, she can't stop thinking
about me.

Obviously, little Miss Sue
has a bad case of Sammy-it is.

Sometimes known
as the Swine Flu.

Sam, admit it. The poor woman
had a low threshold

for overbearing bores.

Well, I got an idea.

May--maybe I could, uh, send her
a relief map of my body.

Or you, you could send her
a life-sized portrait of your brain.

I know a good miniaturist.

Nah, that's not sexy.

Hi, everyone.

Ooh.

Is Ernie here?
I'd like to talk to him.

He'll be honored
you remembered his name.

Carla, come on, stay out of this.

Uh, yeah. Uh, Coach?

- Somebody here to see you.
- Is it Irene?

Yeah, it is.

Irene, I haven't seen you
since the night I proposed.

How are the wedding plans going?

Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about, Ernie.

Well, what?--what
did you want to do?

- Move the date up or something?
- Ernie, would you please sit down?

Oh, sure, come on.

Do you know
where I was tonight?

Uh, probably at home...

wherever that is.

I went to the governor's
mansion for dinner.

Holy mackerel.

I--I guess you didn't think
I'd want to go, huh?

No, the point is,

ever since I won that money,
I've been meeting new people,

experiencing new things,

and there's a lot more
I still want to do.

I'm talking about Paris,
Monaco, London.

- Well, I'd be perfectly happy with Six Flags.
- I know you would.

Ernie...

This is really...

This is very hard for me.

I wouldn't want to hurt you
for the world, but the plain truth is

I'm not the same person
I was three weeks ago.

That person loved you.

You're a good man,

but I've been married
to a good man.

I've never been
obscenely wealthy.

Money changes people, Ernie.

Well, it hasn't changed me. I mean,
I'm engaged to a very wealthy woman,

but I'm still the same simple guy
I always was.

Ernie, I-- I don't think
we're engaged anymore.

I'm sorry.

I hope you can find it in your heart
to forgive me.

Wait a minute.
There's nothing to forgive,

because this isn't you talking.
It's the money.

You've got to get this
out of your system, Irene,

and...

you'll come back to me.

I wish I could make you
understand.

Look, we set a wedding date,
right?

That date is still set,

and when that date comes along,
I'll be right here waiting for you.

Goodbye, Ernie.

Have a wonderful life.

Irene, you're crazy.
This isn't goodbye.

Yes, it is.

- Oh, no, honey, it isn't.
- It is.

Boy, she's going to make
one hell of a wife, ain't she?

Isn't it romantic?

Da-da-da-da-de-da-da

Yeah, it's a--
What I like is a nice, clean break.

Da-da-ta-dum

- Whoa!
- Oh.

Coach.

Pretty spiffy there.
What's the occasion?

It's only my wedding day.
Some cologne, please.

- You heard from Irene, Coach?
- Well, not for a while,

but you're not supposed
to see the bride

before the ceremony anyway,
are you?

No, but you're supposed to know

whether or not
she's in the country, at least.

Sam, will you stop worrying

about every little thing,
like countries, huh?

- All right.
- This is a very happy day.

Uh, folks...
Folks,

I have an apology to make.

A lot of you can't be invited
to the wedding,

because it's going to be
a small, private affair.

- I'm sorry some of you had to be left out.
- Like the bride, huh?

That really hurts.

Then I haven't lived in vain.

Diane, I'm sorry,

but you can't sing at the wedding
like you offered to.

I understand.

Yeah, just standing there looking geeky
will be entertainment enough.

Sam, I'm going to go in

and check
on my honeymoon reservation.

Looks like the Coach
is headed for Dump City,

and he's got his pedal
to the metal.

I still say there's something
touching about it.

A man with that much hope and faith
in a relationship is very rare.

So's the oxygen to your brain.

Look, Diane, you're not helping him
by saying stuff like that.

We've got to get the Coach
to face reality.

Come on, Diane.

I mean, you of all people
should realize how painful it is

to love somebody
who doesn't love you back.

Ah, yes, your sobbing,
your whimpering,

your moony-eyed sighs
have not gone unnoticed.

You must have dreamt that
about me.

So the dreams about me continue,
huh?

Still have the one
about the white horse?

One end of it.

Sam,
the day I met Frasier Crane,

I stopped looking for Mr. Right.

Yeah,
that would discourage me too.

Why don't you two either
hit each other in the face or shut up?

- We're trying to deal with the Coach here.
- All right, Carla, you're right,

but is there anything wrong with a man believing
that the woman he loves will come back to him?

Yes, when the chances that she will
are "none" and "forget it."

Well, I'm sure that if Irene knew
how strongly the Coach still felt about it,

she'd make an effort to talk to him
and straighten him out.

Yeah, but we don't even know
how to get in touch with her.

Ooh, but I do know how to get in touch
with her daughter, Miss Frostbottom.

Tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to give her a little message
to pass on to her mother,

and she can keep a little of it
for herself.

- Ooh, yeah.
- That's it.

Yeah, a little message
about a couple of women

that don't know the first thing
about being decent to folks...

- All right.
- All right.

Hi, babe, Sam Malone.
Busy tonight?

For the rest of your life. Yeah, well,
I thought that's what you were going to say,

but, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
before you hang up on me here,

this phone call doesn't have
anything to do with you.

It's about your mother and the way
she's been treating the Coach.

I mean, I think it stinks.
I don't even want to tell you

how enraged I am over the phone, so how about
we get together for dinner tonight, huh?

Yeah, well, I knew
you were going to say that,

but, uh, listen up here.
I don't want to go to dinner. I already ate...

So did we.

So, uh, how about a drink?

Well, I knew
you were going to say that too,

but, uh, I've got news for you,
I don't drink, so, yeah,

who feels stupid now, huh?

You agree with me?

Well, yeah,

well, you should be ashamed
of your mother, Sue.

I mean, come on,
what's going on here?

Corfu?

Oh, no.

Oh...

Yeah, well, thanks.

Boy, you know, I'm beginning to hate
the women in that family.

What is it?

Irene's engaged to another man,
some hotshot

foreign industrialist millionaire.

Said his name
was Glods or something.

Stanislaw Glods?
Ooh, what a catch.

Anyway...

She's living with him in Corfu,
wherever the hell that is.

Hmm, Corfu, yeah,
poor man's Pensacola.

- Cheese it. Here he comes.
- Don't anybody say anything about this.

- Any calls, Sam?
- No, uh, Coach, no calls.

You mean
Irene didn't call?

Coach, I don't think
Irene's going to call... ever.

Oh, Sam, you're so young.
You're so young.

Hey, Coach, she's engaged
to another man.

I just spoke to her daughter.
Some rich European guy.

Oh, heavens to Betsy.

It looks like I've been left
at the altar. Whatever shall I do?

Coach, will you wake up
and smell the coffee?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Diane.
Take it easy, will you?

Coach, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to yell at you.
Please forgive me.

It's okay, honey.
It's okay.

Up until a few moments ago,

I, too, was a holdout
for a happy ending,

but even this new, seemingly
incontrovertible evidence

hasn't shaken your faith a fig.

How can you be so certain?

Right here, Diane.

The human heart--
who knows how it works?

Well, it's essentially an
involuntary muscle, Coach,

- activated by electrical impulses--
- Exactly!

No one. It works by feelings, Diane.

All my feelings tell me that she'll be back.
You understand?

She'll be back here
before closing time.

Isn't that romantic?

Ta-da-da-da-da da-dum-da-da

Nothing's sadder than a man
holding on to a dead dream.

Unless it's a blonde woman
struggling to keep her hopes up.

No, I think it's a tall ex-baseball player
who clings forlornly--

Come on, Coach.
How about the three of us

go out and get something to eat,
like old times?

I thought I knew her.

I--I was so sure
she'd come back today.

Well, maybe she had
a family crisis...

like her daughter
fell off her broomstick.

- Sam.
- Oh, sorry.

Coach, how about a pizza?
You love pizza.

Oh, no.
No, I don't, Diane.

You can't crawl in bed
with a pizza.

Well, maybe you could,
but a pizza can't keep you warm.

Well, maybe it could,
but you can't kiss a pizza.

- Your lips'd get kind of--
- Uh, Coach, we get the point.

You know what really hurts
the most?

What?

I thought right up to the very last moment
that she'd call.

How could I have been so wrong?

You just wanted it to happen so badly,
you never thought it wouldn't.

No, Diane, no. I never doubted it.
I thought we'd get together,

but I guess the money
did change her.

I guess it did.

You want to know something?

I'm starting to wonder
if we would have made that good a couple.

Come on, let's get some pizza.

Boy, life with her sure ain't boring.

Coach, don't answer that phone.
We both know, like you do, that it's Irene,

but why not teach her a lesson?

No, Diane, if she was
thoughtful enough to call...

Yeah, look, look, honey,
let me do the talking.

If I hear your voice,
I might change my mind.

You're better off with the rich guy.
I realize that, even if you don't.

Now, look, we had some good times.
Just take care of yourself, huh?

I hope she understands.

Coach, wait a sec here.

Did you actually hear
her voice on the phone?

I didn't have to, Sam.
It was her.

So it's all over?

Well, it's all over
for me, but...

I still feel sorry for her.

Poor kid.

It's her.

Isn't it

Romantic?

Merely to be young
On such a night as this?