All language subtitles for Cheers.S02E15.And.Coachie.Makes.Three.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Cliff ie, don't look now,
but there are two chicks

at the end of the bar staring at us.

You're crazy.

I'm telling you, they've been staring
for at least 20 minutes.

- What? Do we look weird or something?
- Well, you do.

Why?

Because you're talking
out of the side of your mouth.

I'll telling you,
they can't take their eyes off us.

Well, there's only one way to be sure,
Normie.

Just Toodle down to the other end
of the bar

- and see if their eyes follow us. Okay?
- All right.

So they looking, huh?
They looking?

Yup.

I'd say those supple young petunias
definitely want us, Normie.

So, what do we do now?

Just take a walk over there.

I will if you will.

On second thought, why don't we
just play it cool here for a while, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we let them come to us.

Yeah, yeah, those babes
are really hot for us, huh?

Well, that's it, folks, closing time.
Sorry.

Oh, here they come, Norm,
moving in for the kill.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

My friend and I were wondering if you
guys know a late-night spot to go to.

Yeah, someplace a little fun.

Why...

What was that?

These guys are Martians.

Come on. They're nerds.

Their loss.

Well, they've gone now, Cliff.
You can turn off the charm.

Yeah, you were real smooth
yourself there, Norm.

Oh, listen to Cary Grant here.
That was humiliating.

Yeah, well, what difference
does it make?

You know, they weren't
that good-looking anyway.

Absolutely.

We almost took the midnight train
to bow-wow city.

You're right. Hey, I've seen
better legs on a pool table.

Yeah. Hey, you can use that chest
for a straightedge.

Hey, hey, if you ever come back,
put a bag over your head.

Or a gunnysack. It'll cover more.

Hey!

Great eats, Diane. Thanks.

How did you enjoy your
rognon de veau aux chanterelles?

Yes.

Was that the green stuff?

No, that was the brown stuff.

Good, that green stuff
kind of repeats on you.

- I'm dreadfully sorry.
- Quite all right, quite all right.

Well, I am gonna check some scores
out on the tube here, I think.

You know, Sam, I went to
a lot of trouble with this meal.

So did I.

Come on, come on,
I'm joking, I'm joking.

It was wonderful.
Thank you very much.

It's such a pleasure
to cook for a gourmand.

Yeah, something like that.

Sam, what's happening to us?

Are you repeating too?

Well, a little,
but that's not what I'm talking about.

We're becoming humdrum, routine.

Well, I'll tell you what. After my meal
settles here, I'll attack you.

Well, you may be in the mood
earlier than you think.

You make yourself comfortable.
I'm going to take care of something

- in the other room.
- You got it.

Who's there?

Me. Who's there?

- Coach?
- No, I'm Coach.

What the hell you doing here, Coach?

At least we got that straight.

Sam, listen, we almost had
the most incredible disaster.

Look at this TV Guide.

What?

Thunder Road.

- Mitchum.
- Mitchum.

- Boy, all right.
- We haven't missed a Mitchum movie

together in over 12 years.

Come on, we don't wanna miss
the beginning.

Oh, Mitchum
will never start without us.

Sam, we're gonna need
some munchies.

Yeah, Diane's got some.

Listen, Sam, while you're up,
turn down the lights, will you?

There's a terrible glare on the screen.

Take me, you barbarian.

Hi, Diane.

Diane, you're gonna miss
Thunder Road.

- What happened here, Coach?
- Nothing yet, Sam.

They're just going up the road.

No, no, it's Diane.

Hey, Diane, you all right?

What is Coach doing here?

Well, he's watching Thunder Road.

We always watch
Robert Mitchum movies together.

Sam, it's a bad time right now.

Well, I know, honey,

but it's kind of a tradition
that goes back with us for years.

He's our favorite actor.

Never, under any circumstances,
do we miss one of his movies.

But I came out of the bedroom,
and I'm so embarrassed

because of the way I was dressed.

Come in here.
I'll show you what I mean. Come on.

Coach, scram, out!

What, Sam?

Sam.

A little tact.

I'm sorry. Coach, listen.

What?

Diane and I had this special evening
going here,

and she just fixed me a meal
in all my favorite colors

and changed into something frilly
there and...

Oh, and I come barging in on you.
Gee, Sam, I wasn't even thinking.

Diane, please, forgive me.

I never want to get in your way.
I'm sorry, honey.

- Thank you for understanding, Coach.
- You know, when you live alone,

you tend to forget
that other people have lives.

Are you feeling what I'm feeling?

Yeah. Poor Coach.

Well, we have so many hours together.

I guess it's kind of selfish not to spend
a little time with him, huh?

You're right. I'll go get him.

Good.
Bet you can catch him on the steps.

Coach, why are you standing there?

Well, my coat
got caught in the door, Sam.

I didn't have the heart
to bother you again.

Good night, Diane.
Good night, Sam.

No, no, no, Coach, Coach,
come in. Come here, listen.

You're gonna watch Thunder Road
with us tonight. Come on. Sit down.

Really? You mean it?

You bet. Come on over.

I've never seen this, so you're gonna
have to fill me in on what's happened.

Oh, I know every line in this picture,
Diane.

Now, here's my favorite part.

You know, when I'm in charge
of the bar, I know what God feels like.

How's that?

It's like I'm in complete control
of people's destinies.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, I can make their drinks

too strong so they get sick.

Or I can water them down
so they're paying for nothing.

- Yeah.
- Or if I don't like their attitudes,

I can spit in it.

Carla, you're not still upset about that
little argument we had the other day?

You tell me.

Oh, hey, Carla, listen,
I'm sorry about this morning

when I called you a sawed-off witch.

Hi there. I'm Sam Malone.

Maybe you remember me
from a month ago before you

- and I became a threesome.
- Yes, yes. I recognize you now.

- You shaved off your Pantusso.
- That's it. That's it.

Oh, Sam.

- I know.
- I can't take it anymore.

We never go any place
without the Coach.

I don't even invite him anymore.
He just shows up.

- What will we do?
- I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

Right now we're gonna go sit
in my office.

We're gonna look
into each other's eyes.

- All alone.
- Oh, that sounds so wonderful.

- Yeah.
- Sam, Diane. Where have you been?

Coach, I'm sorry. I overslept.

You know, we were up kind of late
last night watching--

Mothra Versus Godzilla.

Yeah, boy, was I disappointed
in that one.

Sam, we've got to draw the line.

There's no way that we can spend
the evening with Coach tonight.

You're right. You're absolutely right.

We gonna get together tonight?

You bet.

Great.

All right, all right.

Now, there's only one solution
to this problem.

We have to tell the Coach
to stop hanging around with us.

Diane's right, Sam.

If you don't want Coach
hanging around, just tell him.

That's the honest, ethical way
to approach it.

Maybe you're right--

Course, if you want to make it
easier on Coach,

why don't you just rip out his heart
and do a tap dance on it?

- Norman.
- I got it. I got it here.

What?

Make him think you got
a bad disease.

Get real skinny.

You paint your faces
white and pasty.

Walk around looking like
you're gonna throw up.

You'd better hurry up there.
Diane's got a head start.

Cliff, Norm. Coach likes you guys.

Would you take him off our hands
just for tonight, please, please?

No, no, no, sorry, Sammy.
We don't want Coach getting

in the way
when we're hustling chicks, all right?

- Sorry I asked.
- You know, Sammy,

it's against my beliefs to help you
make things go smooth

with the squawk box over there,
but since Coach is involved,

I'm gonna bend the rules a little bit.

I happen to know he has a crush
on one of the tellers at his bank.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, he talks about her a lot.

I don't know her name,
but I figure if he's dating her,

maybe she could take him
off your hands.

Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good.

What do you say?
It's worth a try, huh?

Well, you know, I think Coach
would be embarrassed by a blind date.

Why don't we pretend
that she's a friend of mine?

That way it'll look like
a chance meeting.

Coach, Coach, maybe you
can help me out here.

I'm shopping around for a new bank.

- Do you like yours?
- Oh, I love it.

Bay Harbor Savings and Loan
right down the street.

- Do you like the tellers there?
- Oh, they're terrific.

Is there one you think
that I should talk to?

Friendly, nice, cute?

Frank.

Coach, who's the one
who you're always talking to?

You mean the cute redhead
with the nice smile

- that's always winking at me?
- Yeah.

That's Frank.

Hey, Coach, isn't there a woman
that you like at the bank there?

Oh, Edwina.

Edwina
at Bay Harbor Savings and Loan?

Isn't that funny?
She's a friend of mine.

If she's a friend of yours,
then you should know Frank

- because they're married.
- No, no, Coach.

Who's the one who you said
was a nice lady last Thursday?

- Thursday. Stella.
- Stella.

- Stella, that's my friend.
- No, not Stella, not Stella.

I'm not too crazy about Stella.

- I meant Dorothy.
- Yes, so did I.

- Dorothy is the one you like, right?
- Oh, yeah, Sam. Dorothy's very nice.

Excuse me.

- But not as nice as Julia.
- Sam!

What am I thinking of?
That's the grocery store.

- At the bank, nobody can beat Sandra.
- Sandra, that's my friend.

No.

- Oh, what is it, Coach?
- Not Sandra. It's Anita.

I'll take this.

- What? Wrong girl, Coach?
- No, no, no. Wrong bank.

Well, Katherine,
didn't you love that meal?

Oh, it was very nice.

Let me take your sweater, honey.

I'm just glad we had Coach along.
Nothing like having an Italian

who knows just exactly what to order
in an Italian restaurant.

It was wonderful, Coach.
What was that dish called again?

Spaghetti for four. Yeah, but they got
a better one, though.

It's spaghetti for six,
but you need more people.

Well, I've got coffee all set.
I just have to plug it in.

Go ahead, sit down,
make yourselves at home.

Here you go.

- Well.
- Well.

You know something, Sam?
I can't get over the fact

that Diane knew Katherine,
my favorite teller at First Fidelity.

Well, small world, I guess, Coach.

Yeah, and another thing is she seems
to know everybody in every bank

- that I ever dealt with.
- Well, you know how friendly she is.

Oh, Diane, how did you and Katherine
come to meet?

- At the loan desk.
- At the drive-up.

Oh, that's all right, honey.
Sometimes I forget things too.

Or do I?

Coach, you tickle me.
Are you always this funny?

I doubt it.

So, Katherine, what's new and exciting
in the world of high finance?

Oh, nothing that I know of.

The most exciting moment for me
is trying to catch somebody

playing with their lips
on the closed-circuit TV.

- I knew you looked familiar.
- Well.

- Oh, sit down, honey.
- Okay.

Well, I think banking is fascinating.

There are so many facets.

So many things
I've always wondered about.

Yeah, me too, you know, Diane.

- Like what?
- Well, like tellers. You take tellers.

They never tell you anything.
They always ask questions.

And interest. There's nothing
interesting about it at all.

It's boring.
Oh, and then the trust department.

They got all the pens chained
down to the tables.

- What kind of trust is that?
- There he goes again.

- You're just too much.
- A little giddy but nice.

Oh, oh, my goodness.
Look at the time.

I've got to get up at the crack of dawn.
It's been a wonderful evening.

I'll take a rain check on the coffee,
Diane.

- Oh, too bad.
- Yeah, it is getting kind of late.

Katherine, can I see
that you get home okay?

Oh, well, thanks, Coach.
I'd like that.

- Good night, Diane.
- Good night.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Good night, Sam. Thank you.
- Oh, yes. Yes, you're welcome.

- We'll do it again.
- Oh, sure.

- Absolutely.
- Goodbye.

Oh, I think this just goes to show you
that sticky situations

are best handled with lies,
deceit and trickery.

And now for a little romance.

Oh, yeah. A little hug.

A little kiss.

A little Coach.

Excuse me.

Coach, I thought you were gonna
show Katherine home.

I did. I showed her
where the bus stop is.

You probably didn't notice,
but that dame had the hots for me.

- Coach, what's wrong with that?
- Yeah.

Look, Sam, she's very nice, but she
doesn't fit in with the three of us.

She's like a fourth wheel.
I gotta get some cookies.

Well, what do we do now?

Diane, I think it's time
to tell the truth.

- Good.
- I'll handle this.

Coach, get out here.

- You want one?
- No.

Listen, Coach. I--

I'm gonna tell you something,

and I don't care if this hurts
your feelings.

I'm just gonna tell you
out straight here.

What? What is it?

Diane doesn't want you hanging
around us anymore.

What?

That's not true at all.
Sam doesn't want you around.

I love having you around.

No, no, no, no. I love having him
around more than you do.

As a matter of fact, I love having him
around more than having you around.

Fine. Why don't you around
out the door.

Don't sneak around me like this
and come around.

- Don't get snippy.
- How can you say that when--?

Stop, Diane. Kids, hold it, please.

Look, I'm beginning to see the light
about something here.

You both have something to tell me,
but you don't have the guts to tell me.

- Right?
- Well, I do. Diane doesn't.

Well, then what is it? Say it.

Come on, Sam, say it.

Look, when you were a drunk
and nobody told you,

I told you you were a drunk, didn't I?

- I told you.
- Over and over and over again.

- Well, you really were a drunk, Sam.
- I know.

I mean, you were
really a drunk, Sam.

Coach, Coach, Coach,
don't-- Don't start again.

What kind of a friendship is it?

Is it so weak that we can't come out
and tell each other the truth?

You're right, you're right.

We just don't want you
hanging around us so much.

If you don't want me, it's fine. Okay.

I'm not mad.

It's fine.

Oh, I'll see you.

But, Sam, you really were a drunk.

Morning, Norm.

Where the heck have you been?
ls my watch fast or something?

Sorry, Norm.
We had kind of a difficult evening.

Oh, boy, we finally
had to tell the Coach

we didn't wanna see him anymore.

It was terrible.
Even worse than we feared.

We spent half the night arguing about
who was to blame.

You should--

Diane...

- Norm!
- Norm!

Norman.

Morning, everybody.

- How are you today, Norman?
- Oh, as if you cared.

So Coach didn't take too well
to getting the old heave-ho, huh?

Oh, he was destroyed.

He tried to cover, but there was
no masking the intense pain

that Sam inflicted
on his deepest being.

Hey, don't start at me again.
If I recall, you did most of the talking.

Sam, what difference
does it make who did it?

The point is the Coach
has been crushed.

We have to live with that.

Especially you.

Come on. It was your idea.
You insisted.

- I--? That's the most--
- Listen, listen,

I wanna know
which one of you two kids

got the idea first to throw me out
on my butt last night.

Come on, I wanna know right now.

Come on, Coach, what difference
does it make whose fault it was?

It's done.
We both have to share the blame.

You see, the important thing is
that we showed you our feelings.

- Honesty was our only recourse.
- Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

It was a-- it was a mutual decision.

Well, listen, whoever it was,

I wanna thank them
from the bottom of my heart.

Because what happened was, I caught
up with Katherine at the bus stop,

and I took her home.
And we got to know each other,

and I think she's the most wonderful
woman in the world.

I haven't been this happy in years.

Oh, Coach, that's wonderful news.
You don't know how happy we are.

And the fact that the two of us
had anything to do with it

makes us feel even better.

Oh, yeah, absolutely, Coach,
just think of it as the two of us

having been able to do something
for you. Okay?

Say, Normie,
aren't they a wonderful couple?