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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:04,505 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,799 - Hey, everybody. - Hey, Sammy. 3 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,718 - Oh, Sam. - Yeah, what, Coach? 4 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:13,180 Listen, I think I found the answer to all the robberies in this neighborhood. 5 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,433 - Don't worry, I'm gonna get an alarm. - No, no, this is much better. 6 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:20,521 This friend of mind has this huge, I mean, gigantic attack dog. 7 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,981 But he's gotten so mean lately, he can't handle him. 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,068 Now, that would be perfect protection for us from burglars. 9 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,154 Coach, maybe so, but what are we gonna do with one? 10 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,448 I mean, where are we gonna keep a dog, huh? 11 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,869 I figured the office. 12 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,000 He's vicious. 13 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,381 Coach, get that dog the hell out of here. 14 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,715 - How? - I don't know how. 15 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,842 How'd you get it in here in the first place? 16 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:54,471 He was in a cage when they brought him in. But I think he ate it. 17 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,017 This is ridiculous. How am I gonna use my office? 18 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,644 - Excuse me, Sammy. - What? 19 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,396 In my profession, you become accustomed 20 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,856 to dealing with bellicose canine personalities. 21 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,527 - Allow me. - What are you gonna do, mace him? 22 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:09,945 No, no, Carla, that's much too cruel. 23 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:14,700 I find that, dealing with animals, it's better to be kind, yet firm. 24 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,370 Sit! 25 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,414 He is sitting, Cliff. 26 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,876 Nuke the beast, Sam. 27 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,996 Gee, Sam, I'm so sorry. 28 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,625 Coach, get on the phone. I want the owner to get the dog out of here. 29 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,709 The owner. The phone. 30 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,380 - Hello, everyone. - Goody, Diane is here. 31 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,092 This is Heather Landon, my oldest friend. 32 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,510 Meet her this morning? 33 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:03,308 That's Carla. She likes little witty repartee. 34 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,477 She's just not capable of it. 35 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,607 And, Heather, I want you to meet someone else right over here. 36 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,985 Coach Ernie Pantusso. 37 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,154 - How do you do, Mr. Pantusso? - Hi, Heather. 38 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,032 Listen, you can call me Coach, or by my other nickname. 39 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,701 What other nickname? 40 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,536 Satchmo. 41 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:27,332 Coach, you're thinking of Louis Armstrong. 42 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,377 No, but I like that even better. 43 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,590 - Can I get you something to drink? - Oh, coffee? 44 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:36,883 - Hot coffee. - Thank you. 45 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,346 Now, down here, these two gentlemen are Cliff and Norman, 46 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,849 two of our most regular regulars. 47 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,518 - Hi. - Hiya. Pleased to do you. 48 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,356 I mean, how do I meet me? 49 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,778 - Forget it. - Smooth, Cliff. 50 00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,781 I hate her. 51 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,368 Diane, I love this place. It's got a great feeling. 52 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,579 - Yeah, I knew you'd like it. - Yeah. 53 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,373 Sam, I tried reaching the owner. No answer. 54 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,751 Okay, thank you, Coach. 55 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,461 You can call me Louis Armstrong. 56 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,010 That must be your Samikins. 57 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,721 He is gorgeous. He's just as you described him. 58 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,640 - Hey. - Hi. 59 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,977 But you didn't do justice to his cologne. 60 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,398 And you wanted me to switch, huh? See? 61 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:38,570 Heather Landon, meet Sam "I Reek, Therefore I Am" Malone. 62 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,740 - How do you do? - Nice to meet you. 63 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,202 Oh, Heather, Heather. Yeah, I've heard Diane babble about you a lot. 64 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,789 - You grew up together, right? - Well, practically. 65 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,792 We were in grade school together. Heather hasn't changed a bit. 66 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,169 Must have been some grade school, huh? 67 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,088 She just moved into town. Isn't that wonderful, Sam? 68 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,800 - That's great. - I have to warn you, though, 69 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,885 when the two of us get together, we get a little goofy. 70 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,722 You should have bought one of those big Goofys. I hear they're on sale. 71 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,768 Oh, cute and funny. I think you got lucky this time, Diane. 72 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,479 Yep, yep, look at that, Norm, just like the rest of them. 73 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,773 Hung up on looks, personality and style. 74 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:20,362 Sam, Heather and I were best friends in the fourth grade. 75 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,697 We were always getting in trouble. 76 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:26,076 I'd hate to tell you some of the things she got me to do. 77 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,453 Remember the prank phone calls? 78 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:29,996 Oh, yeah, yeah. 79 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,208 This is the WTRM Radio Contest. 80 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,795 For a trip to Hawaii, name three cars that start with P. 81 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,464 Go ahead. 82 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,050 Porsche, Plymouth and Pontiac. 83 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,512 No, I'm sorry. Those cars start with gas. 84 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,445 It's pathetic. 85 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,157 Come on, Heather. I'll show you the rest of the place. 86 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,244 It was nice meeting you, Sam. I'm just sorry Diane got to you first. 87 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,415 Yeah, I often regret there's so many women out there and only one of me. 88 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,169 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 89 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,422 - What's wrong, Sam? - You kidding me, you didn't see that? 90 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,884 - See what? - What are you talking about? 91 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,637 Guys, Diane's best friend just came on to me. 92 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,514 You're crazy. 93 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,017 She knows you're with Diane, so she thinks you're safe. 94 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,812 Forget about what she's saying. I'm talking about vibrations here. 95 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:39,190 Listen, I know women. Diane's friend wants me. 96 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,861 All right, I know a thing or two. 97 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,863 I've had experience with this sort of thing. 98 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,701 - You, Norm? - Yeah. 99 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,414 When I was dating Vera, her little sister always used to prance around 100 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:58,376 and wear nothing but a bikini or flimsy little shorts or something. 101 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,295 Yeah, she used to sit in my lap, 102 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,340 make little jokes, whisper in my ear how sexy I was. 103 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:07,677 So I did it. I went ahead and asked her out. She turned me down flat. 104 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,140 - Vera know this? - Yeah, Coach. 105 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,934 She was there at the time. She was really furious. 106 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,646 I bet she was. I'm surprised she even married you. 107 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,564 Yeah, well, the ceremony was in progress. 108 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,900 There really wasn't much she could do about it. 109 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,489 No, no, no. Look, I know what you guys are talking about, 110 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,075 but there's a lot more going on here. Just trust me. 111 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,661 Come on, Sam, she seems like such a sweet kid. 112 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:33,745 Yeah. 113 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:38,375 Yes, well, just as every good author has had to work 114 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,669 among the common people for material. 115 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:43,838 Muscles. 116 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,553 Yeah. Yeah, I think Sammy's on to something here. 117 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,973 The woman's obviously a vixen. 118 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,558 Look. She's undressing every man in the bar with her eyes right now. 119 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,811 No wonder I felt such a chill. 120 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,064 Well, that's our little pub. 121 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,401 Oh, Diane, she hasn't seen all of it yet. 122 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,652 What? 123 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,613 - You didn't show her Sam's office. - Oh, right. 124 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,490 - No, Carla! - Get her! 125 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,709 Just some of that witty repartee you love. 126 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,920 Carla, that was a lousy thing to do. 127 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,135 What the hell is that? 128 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:35,390 It's an attack dog a friend of mine gave me, Diane. He's good, huh? 129 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,393 Excellent. 130 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,520 - Coach, get on the phone right away. - The phone. 131 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:44,441 - Diane, are you all right? - Oh, yes. 132 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,900 You trained me well. 133 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,112 - Listen, I've really gotta be going. - Oh, right. 134 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,782 But now, you and I and Sam will have dinner tonight. 135 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,242 I am going to cook. 136 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:55,952 Why? 137 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,705 Well, to celebrate. 138 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,874 Now that Heather's gonna be living here, 139 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,793 I want the three of us to become really good friends. 140 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,965 And I have a special recipe to try. My own Veal Oscar. 141 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,010 That's the award you get if you can act like you like it. 142 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,807 Heather, do you mind hanging on here just for a second? 143 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,810 - I wanna talk to Diane in private. - Oh, sure, sure. 144 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,813 - Oh, I know what you're gonna do. - What? Yeah, right. 145 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,900 - I'll just go finish my coffee. - Okay, all right. 146 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:28,818 - Sam? - Yeah, what? 147 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,529 - No answer yet. - Yeah, just keep trying. Keep trying. 148 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,364 Look, sweetheart-- 149 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,533 Hey, hey, come on. 150 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,245 Listen, Heather's okay and all that, 151 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:43,708 but I don't think we should hang out together too much, if you don't mind. 152 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,418 Why not? 153 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,422 Well, I just don't think the two of us hit it off that well. 154 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,884 You hit it off great. She says she's nuts about you. 155 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,720 Yeah. Oh, yeah, I bet she did, I bet she did. 156 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,722 Listen, sweetheart, I didn't wanna have to tell you this 157 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:03,603 because you're pals and all that, but she's coming on to me gangbusters. 158 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,482 What are you looking at me like that for? 159 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,068 I can't believe you're saying this. 160 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,612 Well, I'll tell you something else. I need a little help here 161 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,698 because I don't have that much experience saying no to women. 162 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,785 I mean, the closest I've ever gotten is, "Not now, we're landing." 163 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:23,081 Hey, I'm just telling you this because I think 164 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,375 you ought to keep the two of us apart, that's all. 165 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,046 - What? - This is staggering. 166 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:34,425 Do you think that every woman you see is attracted to you? 167 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:38,096 Honey, I've had enough women come on to me to know when it's happening. 168 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,432 - And it's happening. - Well, I guess there's 169 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,810 only one way to convince you. 170 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,395 Heather? 171 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,523 Wait a minute. What are you doing? Diane. Whoa, hey, come on. 172 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,317 - I'm going to ask her. - Oh, no, please. Don't do that, please! 173 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,153 I'm sorry. 174 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,489 I'm sorry if it embarrasses you, but it serves you right. Heather? 175 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,451 Honey, I'm sorry if this will make you uncomfortable, 176 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,287 but I wanna get this out of the way 177 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:07,667 so that the three of us can proceed to form a lasting friendship. 178 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:13,882 Sam just now mistook your innocent flirtation 179 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,134 for a sexual overture. 180 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,804 Will you please explain to him your real feelings? 181 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,264 Certainly. 182 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,270 Sam, I want you, and I don't care who knows it. 183 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,106 What? 184 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:31,816 Gotcha! 185 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,988 You are a very attractive man, 186 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,948 but for me to give up my friendship with Diane, 187 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,491 you'd have to be rich too. 188 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,410 - See you tonight for dinner. Bye. - See you later. 189 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,789 No, ma'am, I'm sorry. Those cars start with gas. 190 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,332 Gas! 191 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:34,003 - Let's call your mother now. - Get out of here! 192 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,051 Whitey, Whitey, Whitey. 193 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,012 You're making a mistake. 194 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,556 What do you mean? 195 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,519 That so-called friend of yours is hot for Sam. 196 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,439 You too? Everyone here is insane. Why would you think that? 197 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,983 Because Sam thinks it. 198 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,277 Not anymore, he doesn't. 199 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,154 No, I trust his first instincts. 200 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:03,366 When it comes to dames, Sam's got, like, an antenna 201 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,869 that picks up things that you and I miss. Yeah. 202 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:10,123 It's like when dogs and cats know when an earthquake is coming. 203 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,541 Nobody could explain that. 204 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:15,753 That's simple. You see, there are fissures and cracks on the surface of-- 205 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,879 Your brain. 206 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,135 Please, don't distract Diane from her suffering. 207 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,888 Diane, believe me, you're being dense. 208 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,017 If Sam says that woman is hot for him, bank on it. 209 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,856 Oh, it's ludicrous. 210 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,446 You know, the more I think about this, the more I'm looking forward to tonight. 211 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,782 I've never had a woman as just a friend before. 212 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,909 I think this would be really good for me. 213 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,579 Tonight? 214 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:53,124 Yeah, tonight. Remember, you're cooking that Oscar Meyer thingy? 215 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:59,255 Veal Oscar. Sam, I've had second thoughts about that. 216 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,842 Did you know that veal comes from baby cows? 217 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,764 If you think that I would take part in such a senseless slaughter-- 218 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,892 Hey, hey, have whatever you want. Open a can of beans. 219 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,643 The important thing is getting to know Heather. 220 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:17,106 I think just being friends with a sexy woman like Heather 221 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,108 is a big step in my maturity. 222 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,276 - Hey, Sam? - Yeah? 223 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,695 We gotta get into that office to get to the stock. 224 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,115 We've run out of gin, and the Kahlúa martinis aren't moving. 225 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:30,119 Sam, you know, I don't think it's right to ask you to come to dinner 226 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,662 when you've got so much on your mind. 227 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,207 - You know, this dog and everything. - Hey, don't worry about the dog. 228 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,126 - I'll take care of the dog right now. - I'm one step ahead of you, Sammy. 229 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,216 Yeah, mix a little complimentary cocktail for the mutt. 230 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,592 All right. 231 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,511 Yeah, I finally got a hold of the owner, Sam. 232 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,721 And he said booze calms him right down. 233 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,848 - Oh, good, good. - I just hope the guy's thirsty. 234 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,725 Now, be careful here. 235 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,706 Oh, look at him. 236 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:19,961 - He's just a big puppy dog. - Hey, hey, whoa. 237 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,380 Yes, you're a big doggie. Yes, you are. 238 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,425 - There's only one problem, Sam. - Yeah, what? 239 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:28,219 The owner said that booze makes the dog very amorous. 240 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,304 Oh, yeah? Right. 241 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,891 Oh, good boy. Yes, he's a good boy. 242 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,852 Oh, wait, hey, not that good. 243 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,526 Come on in, Heather. 244 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,404 - Hi. - Hi. 245 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,533 Oh, something smells great. 246 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,411 Why, thank you. Dinner's almost ready. Make yourself at home. 247 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,745 All right. Thank you. 248 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,750 - Well, what do you think? - About what? 249 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:03,463 About this dress. I just bought it today. I saw it and I had to have it. 250 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,008 Why did you buy a dress today of all days? 251 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,386 You come into the bar, you meet everybody 252 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,181 and go out and get a 'come get me" dress. Explain yourself. 253 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,975 I just saw it today. 254 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:23,065 Oh, of course you did what anyone in your position would have done. 255 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,902 - Diane, is everything all right? - Yes. Yes. 256 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,528 - You sure? - Yes, of course. 257 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,947 - Okay. - Back to work. 258 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,036 - I sure like Sam. - Slut! 259 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,881 - What? - I said, "Thanks a lot." 260 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:51,010 Oh, you're welcome. 261 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,975 - Sam? - Malone, one for dinner. 262 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:03,397 - Do you have reservations? - Plenty of them, but I came anyway. 263 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,234 - How you doing? Oh, here you go. - Oh, nice, thanks. 264 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,402 Hey, buddy. 265 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,988 - Hey, Sam, how you doing? - Good. 266 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,450 I want to... I wanna apologize for this afternoon. 267 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,827 I was a little... I was a little crazy. 268 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,664 Here you go. But I think... 269 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,541 I think the three of us 270 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,834 are gonna be real good friends now, don't you think? 271 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,836 - Yeah, I think so too. - Yeah. 272 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,838 Yeah, me too. Well, let's get to dinner. 273 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,215 Whoa, what's the rush? 274 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,843 Well, the sooner we begin, the sooner we can finish. 275 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,097 And then we can be finished. 276 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,784 - Isn't friendship great? - Yeah. 277 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,997 What's that saying about friends and lovers? 278 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,749 Oh yeah, friends and lovers... 279 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,002 "Don't leave home without them." 280 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:10,089 Very funny. Oh, you're ticklish. You're ticklish. Oh, you are! 281 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,092 - Well, sure. - No, no, please! Please, no. 282 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,677 Dinner time! 283 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,766 Well, you don't have to shout. We can hear you, you know. 284 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,977 Yes, of course. 285 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,771 Hunger makes me wanna shout. 286 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,398 Well, come on. 287 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,818 - Stay back. - Sorry I don't have place cards. 288 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,863 Oh, that's all right. We'll just put Sam in the middle so we can share him. 289 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,990 - Okey-doke. - Excusez-moi. 290 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,034 You know, I think this is gonna be great. 291 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,661 Just the three of us, three good friends. 292 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,997 Yeah. Like Porthos, Athos and Aramis. 293 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,333 - There you go. - Well, I don't think Sam 294 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,543 - knows that reference. - Hey, hey, hey. 295 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,670 I may not read books, but I know good music. 296 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,839 Supremes, right? 297 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,093 - Fabulous. - Hey, yeah, sometimes I surprise her. 298 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,803 I bet you do. 299 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,181 Okay, well, here we go. 300 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,059 I hope you didn't have spaghetti for lunch. 301 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,020 I thought we were having Veal Oscar. 302 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,356 There are remnants of it in the sauce. 303 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,777 I thought we weren't gonna do anything with veal. 304 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,364 Well, this sucker was already dead. 305 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,701 - Well, it looks divine, Diane. - Oh, thanks. 306 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,244 Bon appètit. 307 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:28,626 Diane, remember the way we used to eat "pasghetti" when we were kids? 308 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,877 No. 309 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,338 Like this. 310 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,268 Oh, that was good. That was good. 311 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,437 All right, all right, let me try. 312 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,155 You got some sauce on your blouse there. 313 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,785 - Thanks for your discretion. - Yeah. 314 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,705 This is wonderful spaghetti. 315 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,919 And the pasta is cooked just perfect. 316 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:15,256 - Oh, yeah. - It's firm, yet it yields to the bite. 317 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,591 That's exactly the way it should be. Here. 318 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,927 - Oh, yeah. - Take a bite off the end of this. 319 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,762 Oh, yeah, that's good. Here, here, try mine. 320 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,098 - Oh, yours? - Yeah. 321 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,017 - There you go. - Oh, yours is good too. 322 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,603 Oh, boy. 323 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,989 This garlic bread is magnificent. 324 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,075 - Yeah-- - Here, wait, here, have some of mine. 325 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,910 Hot, hot, hot. 326 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,621 You don't even have to chew it. 327 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,082 You just set it in your mouth, and it melts. 328 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,170 Good eats, good eats. 329 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:58,424 You have a little sauce right there on the-- 330 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,384 Here? I don't wanna waste it. 331 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,844 No, the other side there. 332 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,013 There. Right there. 333 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,057 Stop it! 334 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,019 Stop it right now! I mean it, Heather! 335 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,271 - What? - What? 336 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:18,027 You know what. You know perfectly well what. 337 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,987 You think I don't know what's going on here? 338 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,947 Spaghetti sauce, bread. 339 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,033 Have you no shame? 340 00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,412 Diane, what the hell's the matter with you? 341 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,873 I know what that was all about. 342 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,043 You think I don't know what noodles mean in sexual lingo? 343 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,796 And sauce? 344 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,006 I read my Freud. 345 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,176 Diane, we were just enjoying the meal. 346 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,637 Oh, don't give me that. That meal's inedible. 347 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,765 You know something? 348 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,769 You're doing the same thing I did this afternoon, and you called me nuts. 349 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,774 No, no, no, Sam, it's all right. 350 00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,150 It's not surprising. 351 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,653 It's just, I'm a very sort of friendly and outgoing person, 352 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,446 and sometimes people misinterpret it. 353 00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,949 I'm just very surprised it came from you, Diane. 354 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,659 Yeah, me too. 355 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:17,336 Oh, Heather, what am I saying? I must really be paranoid, mustn't I? 356 00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:22,258 Oh, it's happened to me before. 357 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:26,095 - It's happened to everyone before. - Heather... 358 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,807 I'm so sorry. 359 00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:32,101 She didn't mean it, Heather. 360 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,607 How can you be eating now? 361 00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:42,319 I've eaten through worse than this. 362 00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,742 Well... 363 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,537 - Goodbye. - Heather, where are you going? 364 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:52,872 You're not leaving, are you? 365 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,375 Well, paranoid or not, I'm obviously making Diane uncomfortable. 366 00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,336 Honestly, no. 367 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:08,387 Our friendship is the most important friendship in my life. 368 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:14,310 And I would never, never do anything to intentionally hurt it. 369 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:16,395 Please, forgive me and stay. 370 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:22,401 Of course. I couldn't throw away 20 years. 371 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:29,116 Oh, that's beautiful. 372 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:32,745 You know, I just want to thank you for letting me be part of this. 373 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,790 - That was very sweet. - Oh, Sam. You are so sweet. 374 00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:38,083 Oh, hey, well... 375 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,715 Yeah, hey. 29794

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