All language subtitles for Cheers.S02E02.Little.Sister.Dont.Cha.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Oh, no, here comes another order.

I need two martinis.

One straight up, one over.

Gin or vodka?

Gin.

Beefeater's.

Anything else?

Yes. There's something else.

Something I need...

...desperately.

A Molson Golden ale.

Sam, you added this wrong.

Coach, we were gonna kiss.

We were?

You mind if I do these first, Sam?

It won't budge.

I think I'm gonna be pregnant
for the rest of my life.

Just like it said in the yearbook.

Stubborn little bugger, isn't he?

You know, Sammy, I think he's found
out about his brothers and sisters

and decided to stay inside
where it's safe.

Carla, you know, there's a theory that
late-born babies are more intelligent.

- For example, I was born late.
- Hey, so was I.

Well, it was just a theory.

Carla, how did it happen
the last time?

- Benny Hill did it.
- Benny Hill?

Well, I was watching him on TV,

and I was laughing so hard,
I went into labor.

Yeah, I heard that could happen.

Well, if laughter's what you need,
I have a face that makes people laugh.

Yeah, but you got
a nice personality, Diane.

No, I'm going to make a funny face.

I don't think it's gonna help,
but go ahead.

Very funny.

Hey, Sammy,
let me have two 'Gansetts

for the lovely couple
at the back bar, please.

Hey, have you got yourself
covered yet, kiddo?

Oh, yeah, it's all set.

My sister's gonna fill in for me
while I'm out with the baby.

- Great. Thank you.
- Which sister is this, No-Neck?

No.

No, no, not No-Neck. Another one.

You have a sister named No-Neck?

It's her nickname.
Everyone in my family has one.

Just out of curiosity, Carla,
what's your nickname?

Muffin.

You're kidding.

What's wrong with "Muffin"?

Nothing. It's just
the most incredible coincidence.

You and I have the same nickname.

No.

Daddy always called me his muffin
because I was so sweet and toasty.

Well, I'm called Muffin because my
brothers once stuffed yeast in my ears

and tried to bake my face.

Should I ask what this sister's called,
or am I gonna regret it?

No, Sammy, Annette is different
than the rest of us.

She's always been the good one.

Well, every family
has its white sheep.

You and your sister close?

No, no, we never spent
much time together.

I only see her when I go home
for family occasions.

Weddings, holidays,
stays of execution.

Anyway, the thing about Annette
is she's real shy.

Kind of a wallflower.
She doesn't have very many friends.

Oh, we'll take care of her.

- When are we gonna meet her?
- Soon.

I've been in labor
for the last four minutes.

It was my funny face, wasn't it?

Carla, why didn't
you say something?

I was trying to hold out
until my customers left.

It was my last shot at a pity tip.

Hey, hey, mail it to me.

I'll be at St. Eligius Hospital.
Carla Tortelli.

Enjoy your drinks
while I'm under the knife.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

I'm Carla's sister Annette Lozupone.

Oh, what an interesting name.

How do you pronounce it?

Lozupone.

Gee, just like it sounds.

Hi, Annette. I'm Sam.

- Hi.
- We've been waiting for you.

I see that you already met Coach.

He must be a good worker.

Let me introduce you around here.
That's Cliff.

Annette, this is Norm.

This is Diane Chambers.

- Annette.
- Diane.

Well, you must hear about me
from Carla all the time, huh?

No.

She never mentioned
another waitress here?

Oh, yes, I've heard her talk
about Fishface.

She quit.

- Nice kid, that Annette, huh?
- Yeah, she is, Coach.

- Yeah, she's cute too, huh?
- Cute, huh?

- Cute.
- You like her there, Cliffo?

I don't know.
I just said she was cute.

- Are you gonna ask her out?
- No.

Come on, Cliff,
you haven't had a date in months.

Well, there's a simple explanation
for that

that you riffraffs probably
wouldn't understand.

I have impossibly high standards
for a woman.

Yeah, she has to like you, right?

Excuse me, Cliff.

I'll get you a pad, and we'll get
a tray on the other side.

- Here's a pencil, honey.
- Okay, Coach, thanks.

You know, you'd be doing her a favor
if you asked her out.

She'd, you know,
feel more comfortable.

Well, I don't know. Maybe...

Maybe on the way out.

Gotta go.

So soon? Cliff ie, the night's young,
and it's your round.

Oh, hey, I'm sorry.
I got a big day tomorrow.

They've asked me to test-drive
a new postal vehicle on my route.

How come they asked you?

Well, I've got the best safety record
in the branch, Coach.

Never even been near an accident.

Not since you were born.

Was that comment addressed
to me, Paul?

Oh, no, Cliff.

If it were addressed to anybody,
it'd probably get lost in the mail.

Easy. Easy, big guy.

If I wasn't wearing this uniform,
I'd ask you to step outside.

If you weren't wearing that uniform,
we'd all step outside.

Cliff, Annette.

Excuse me.

I just had a sudden thought here.

If you're not doing anything
and you have the time,

maybe we could go out sometime
and do something together if you want.

Really?

That sounds nice.

Yeah, well, I better warn you, though,

I'm going on a special assignment
for the department.

I've got no right to ask you
to wait for me.

Well, here's my phone number,
in case you make it.

Great. Well, auf Wiedersehen.

Bye.

So, what do you think?
How's the new girl doing?

Oh, very well.

That date with Cliff is the second one
she's made since she's been here.

Really?

Well, well, that's good, that's good.

She's breaking out of her shell.

Sam, it's Cheers. It's a romantic bar.

As many people fall in love here
as get sick.

So, what you say? Maybe 1 a.m.?

That would be fine.

Sam.

- She's not what Carla thinks she is.
- Yes, she is. She's just...

She's naive.

Sam, I am an excellent judge
of character,

and I say she's loose.

Come on. Would you just stop? Stop.

She's not loose.
All right, fine, I'll talk to her.

I'll keep her
from getting into trouble here.

Annette, can I talk to you there,
in my office?

By the way, I think you would do
a lot better for yourself

if you stopped meddling
in other people's sex lives

and started concentrating on mine.

Well, that's great. That's great. That'll
keep me until the end of the minute.

- Did I do something wrong?
- Oh, no.

No, no, I just wanna have
a little talk with you.

See, I know that you haven't
worked in bars before,

and I just wanted to explain
how men behave in bars.

They... Well, they have a few drinks,
get a little high,

and they get a little carried away
around a beautiful new waitress, and...

Well, is this making
any sense to you?

Why don't we sit down here.

See, what I--
No, I thought maybe that--

Sam, take me, take me, take me.

Sam. Telephone call.

I'll just tell them you're breaking in
a new waitress.

No! Coach!

Okay, folks, almost ready.

That was Cliff.
He said he's feeling a lot better.

- He's coming in tonight.
- Great.

What happened to him anyway?

It was during his test drive
a few days ago.

He stepped out of the cart into
a pothole, smashed up his leg.

But he finished his route in pain.

He figured those 1974 Christmas
cards couldn't wait another day, huh?

Annette.

- You're late again.
- I'm sorry, Sam.

Would you like to take me
into your office and scold me?

No, no, no, no.

Just...
Just maybe don't do it again.

I won't.

Sam...

...she's turned into the thing
that devoured Boston.

We've gotta tell Carla about this.

Oh, no, we do not have to tell Carla
about this.

It's none of our business
if she likes men.

Loves men.

She can do whatever she wants
with her sex life.

It's in the Bill of Rights.

Where is it in the Bill of Rights?

Well, you know, the part about
the right to assemble and bear arms.

That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

Hey, hey.

I thought you said that you
weren't gonna call me stupid

now that we're being intimate.

No, I said that I wouldn't call you stupid
while we're being intimate.

Okay, folks, the movie's ready.

- I got the lights.
- Thanks, Sam.

Sit down, everybody.
Get nice and comfy.

Here we go.
Everybody comfortable?

This film I call:

A Trip to the Hospital to Visit Carla
and Her New 2-Day-Old Baby.

- I like it. I like it.
- Thanks, Sam.

All right, here we are in the elevator.

And those elevator doors are opening,
and we're going to Carla's room.

And, yes, we go in, and...

Oh, gee, I made a mistake.
It's the dead guy's room.

Oh, the widow was so upset.
I tried to cheer her up with a gift and--

I just--
It wasn't the right moment.

Now, here we are.

I'm on the right floor, and there's
Carla's room, I hope, and in we go.

Yes, it is.

The kids were very good.
They were on their good behavior.

Then Anthony squirted
his water pistol at me.

Here I am, wiping the lens,

and Seraphina grabbed the camera,

crawled under a bed,

and I begged her for it.
I had a heck of a time with it.

Then Ann Marie jumped on my back.

Coach, didn't you get a shot
of the baby?

Yeah, there she is.

- Which one's Carla's, Coach?
- It's the little girl, Norm.

Doesn't she look just like
her mother?

- I think that's all.
- I got the lights.

Okay.

Oh, that was nice.
I'm glad I got to see the baby.

You mean, you haven't
been over there yet?

Well, I got as far as the hospital,
but I met the chief surgeon

in the parking lot,
and we split a six-pack in his van.

What a nice fellow.

Hey, lookie here.

When Cliff ie comes
Marching home again

Hurrah, hurrah

- Come on over here, soldier.
- Welcome home, Cliffo.

Thank you, Coach.

Boy, I've missed you guys.

Well, except Paul.

- So who wants to see it?
- Oh, no, not me.

- I can't stand that stuff.
- Come on.

I can't even eat
an open-faced sandwich.

Well, it's almost gone now anyway.

- A little suds-o there, Cliff.
- Hey, thank you, Coach.

Yeah, I had some healing hands
to help me.

- You devil.
- Some incredible, beautiful hands.

Oh, wait a minute here, sounds like
the man's been bitten by the love bug.

Cliff ie, you found somebody, huh?

- Well...
- Yeah, he did, he did.

All right. You know, I never thought
I was the kind of guy

- to fall head over heels, but--
- Oh, God, it isn't Annette, is it?

- Well, yeah.
- Oh, I'm so happy for you.

Thank you, Diane. It's great.

Well, she doesn't know it yet...

...but I'm gonna ask for her hand.

- Annette?
- Yeah, isn't it something, Sammy?

Me and Carla's sweet little sister.

Oh, it's like fate, huh?

Oh, there she is. Annette?

- Hiya, sweetheart.
- Hello there, handsome.

Sam, I think we have to talk
in the backroom.

Why?

Well, it's our weekly seminar
on the use of leitmotif

in the Chanson de Roland.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Boy, time really flies by, doesn't it?

Yeah, Norman,
why don't you join us. Coach?

No, no, not me, Diane.
Thank you, no.

Oh, come on, Coach.
You're the guest speaker.

Hey, this might be good.

We are confronted with a problem.

If we tell him about her,
we ruin his life.

- Right.
- What if we don't tell him about her?

Don't tell him about her,
we ruin his life.

Well, if I'm confused,
everybody must be.

I know Cliff. He's a very sweet guy.

If anybody can change
this Annette babe, he's the one.

Well, maybe you're right, Norman.

I guess we've been
pretty cynical, huh?

Who are we to judge?

- Maybe Annette really loves Cliff.
- There you go.

Hey, face it. Love can be a rebirth
for any man and woman.

- Yeah, I feel better about that.
- Yeah.

Well, wasn't it Dante who said--?

Annette, would you get me
a soda, please?

Certainly.

That Cliff is really
something special, huh?

Which one's Cliff?

Let me tell him. I'm his best friend,
all right? Cliff.

Talk to you in the backroom here
a moment?

Well, yeah, sure, Norm.

You sure about this? I've seen
this kind of thing destroy relationships.

He should hear about it from
somebody who cares about him

and who he cares about.

- See you later, sweetheart.
- Bye.

Yeah, so, what's going on, Norm?

Oh, nothing.

What, I can't talk to my buddy?

Yeah, sure, no problem.

So, what's up?

What would you say your definition
of friendship was, Cliff?

Hey, Norman, Annette's out there
waiting for me.

- Use a dictionary, huh?
- Yeah.

Cliff, you know, I think
that friendship is two guys

who can remember all the good times
that they shared, you know?

- Oh, yeah, that's good, Norm.
- Yeah.

Remember all the good times
we shared?

Listen, Norm, if you want
a couple of bucks--

No, no, Cliff, Cliff.

Remember, like, when you thought
that I was drinking too much

and that you felt
that I really ought to stop?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

As a friend, I appreciated that.

- Yeah, you didn't stop, Norm.
- I decided you were wrong, but...

You remember we were
passing through Concord

and we stopped, we took a squirt
on that guy's lawn?

Yeah.

Yeah, we killed
his jack-in-the-pulpit.

Yeah.

Yeah, so, what'd you ask me
back here for, Norm?

Wasn't to talk over
the good times, huh?

Well, not just that.

More like about Annette.

Norm, look, when Annette and me
are married,

it's not gonna change us.

No, Cliff...

...Annette's not as innocent
as you think she is.

What's that
supposed to mean, Norm?

I mean, since
she's been working here...

...she has been around.

And around, you know.

What are you saying this for, Norm?
Because you're jealous or something?

No, because Annette and I are going
and starting a new life together

and all the magic's gone
out of your relationship?

More people have enjoyed
Annette's magic than Doug Henning's.

Normie, I'll give you one second
to take that back.

Okay, I'll give you three.

Who's she been with?

Everybody.

- You?
- No.

Because you're married, right?

Cliff, when you're married
to a woman like Vera,

you don't even think
about extramarital sex.

You try not to think
about marital sex.

So, what, you hate me now, right?

No.

- Hate her?
- No.

- Hate yourself?
- Yeah.

My choice too, yeah.

I guess I should've known.

She said she invented all those things
it takes years to learn.

I guess I ought to thank you,
huh, Norm?

- No, no.
- Couldn't have been easy for you to...

I just hope I can do
the same for you one day.

Thanks.

Well...

- Come on, let's get a beer.
- No.

- Yes, yes, come on.
- I'm not going back out there.

The guys are gonna laugh at me.

No one's gonna laugh at you.

Those people care about you,
and they know that you're hurting.

Anybody who laughs at you
has gotta answer to me.

Normie...

...you're about the best friend
I ever had.

You're mine.

Want a hug?

- No.
- Me neither.

I mean, it's not like you pulled me
from a burning car or anything.

No, no.