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1
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,326
- Hi.
- [gasps] Oh.
2
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,154
[laughs] Hello, love.
3
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:26,287
You and dad are going out
for dinner later, right?
4
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,463
Um, yeah, we've got
a table booked for 7:30.
5
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:29,986
If we were dreadful people,
6
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,988
we might even call it
a date night.
7
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,207
Well, before that,
there's someone coming around
8
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,643
who I'd like you to meet.
9
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,167
- Her name's Holly.
- Holly. Okay, great.
10
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,213
And she's my girlfriend.
11
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:44,740
Hey! Hey, Ava. That's, uh,
that's fantastic.
12
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,656
It is. I thought it was about
time. Anyway, she's brilliant.
13
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,614
- You'll like her.
- Of course we will.
14
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,703
Don't do anything weird,
but you're gonna love her.
15
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,140
- [chuckles]
- It's only been two weeks,
16
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:56,273
but it feels like ages...
in a good way.
17
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,667
- Do you remember that feeling?
- Just about. Yes.
18
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,060
Well, it's a great feeling.
19
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,293
- [exhales deeply]
- [cellphone rings]
20
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,339
[grunts] Hey, hon.
21
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:21,342
- Paul, Amber alert. Amber alert.
- What?
22
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:22,995
I'm pretty sure
Ava just came out.
23
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,128
Wow!
24
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,652
[exhales deeply]
Shit. It's happening.
25
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:30,873
Yes! She wants to introduce us
to her girlfriend
26
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,180
before we head out tonight.
Holly.
27
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:34,442
Thought you said
her name was Amber.
28
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:36,922
Oh, Christ. It's good
to laugh, isn't it, Paul?
29
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:39,490
Sorry. Yeah, yeah, all right.
30
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,840
[chuckles] Listen, let's not
fuck this one up, shall we?
31
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,669
Noted. I mean, it's nice,
though, isn't it?
32
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,628
- Nice that she's including us.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:47,629
- [Ava] Mum?
- [whispers] Oh, fuck.
34
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,284
- Hiya, love.
- We're out of peanut butter.
35
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:51,633
Do we have any more? Because
Holly loves peanut butter.
36
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:52,982
It's, like, one of her things.
37
00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:54,636
Have you checked behind
Dad's horrible chutneys?
38
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:55,941
- [doorbell rings]
- [gasps]
39
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:56,899
Ooh!
40
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,381
You're gonna love her, Mum.
41
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,690
[singsongy] Ta-da! [chuckles]
42
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,475
- Lovely to meet ya, Ally.
- Hi, Ava.
43
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:12,480
- [Ally] Oh.
- It's an orange. Wine.
44
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,873
Looks like auld piss, but tastes
nothing like it, I promise.
45
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,224
[laughs] "Auld piss." Fantastic.
46
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:21,837
That's... That's very,
very kind of you. Thanks.
47
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,317
[chuckles]
48
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,710
- I'm Siobhan.
- Yes, no, yeah, of course.
49
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:26,929
Darren's told me
so much about you.
50
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:28,539
- Oh, God, how much?
- Tons.
51
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,237
In fact, I thought
he might have been going
52
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,891
- through your bins.
- Uh, Siobhan's building, uh,
53
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:34,589
actually has communal bins, so--
54
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,068
- So, were you guys--
- Uh, I wouldn't go through them
55
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,984
- even if they weren't.
- No. Yeah. Um...
56
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,944
But were you just passing by
57
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:45,077
and you sensed that
I needed some wine or...
58
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:46,949
[chuckles]
No, we're here for dinner.
59
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,777
You invited us round for dinner?
60
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,953
Yes, but, oh, God, no, no.
That's not this week.
61
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,085
- That's next week.
- I don't think so.
62
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,436
Mm. Um...
63
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:56,741
Sorry.
64
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,877
Shit. Shit.
65
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:05,141
Yes. Oh. Susie and Chris
are coming, too. Um--
66
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,882
Would you like us to bugger off?
67
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,841
No! No, no, no, no. It's fine.
Come... Come on in.
68
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,453
I was just about to put on
a massive pot of... food.
69
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:13,671
- Food?
- Yeah.
70
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,760
One of my favorites.
[chuckles]
71
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:18,720
[door closes]
72
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:19,677
[dish clatters]
73
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,900
Is this okay? With Holly coming?
74
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,816
Fine. Nice for her to meet
everyone. I want this to be...
75
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,687
well, not a huge thing,
but a big thing.
76
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:32,951
Okay. Right. Drinks.
77
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,475
- Can I just use your bathroom?
- I can show you where it is.
78
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,216
Just going upstairs myself.
79
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,095
[lowered voice] Right, uh, one
thing. I haven't got any kids.
80
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,184
- Have they died?
- They haven't,
81
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,447
but as far as Siobhan's
concerned, they don't exist.
82
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,144
So, you haven't told Siobhan
about your twin girls?
83
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,668
That's mad.
84
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,235
I just sort of panicked
at the start there.
85
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,192
Well, how long ago
was the start?
86
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,628
A couple of months back.
87
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,630
Siobhan is child-free,
and the twins are,
88
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,198
well, you know,
a strong flavor. [chuckles]
89
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,418
I think I love her, Ally.
90
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,333
I think I'd rather have
Siobhan than the twins.
91
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,638
You don't mean that.
92
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,684
You know it's their 13th
coming up? Birthday?
93
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,076
Do you know
what they asked me for?
94
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,296
I thought maybe new phones,
concert tickets,
95
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,342
but they asked me if
I'd climb into a suitcase
96
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:17,518
and let them carry me around
for 20 minutes.
97
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,215
- Jesus Christ.
- I think they just wanted
98
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,869
to see if they could
make me do it.
99
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,175
You know, capitulate to
their will. I mean, they're 13.
100
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,742
- Did you do it?
- Yes, of course I did it.
101
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,614
- [doorbell rings]
- Oh.
102
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:29,269
Please, Ally, just for tonight,
until I figure something out.
103
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,270
[lowered voice] Ally!
104
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,578
Susie!
105
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:37,973
Oh, sorry, it's just me.
Chris won't be joining us.
106
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,888
He's busy downloading
a dating app.
107
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,326
I broke it off with him
on Sunday evening.
108
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,415
Oh, God. Your busiest day
and everything.
109
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,243
- [sighs]
- Come here.
110
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:52,204
- Oh, I got you this.
- Thanks.
111
00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:54,468
Oh, hey, Ava.
How are you doing?
112
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,861
Susie, I didn't know you
were coming. It's been ages!
113
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,254
I can't wait to tell Holly
114
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,690
she's about to meet Susie,
the vicar.
115
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:00,996
She's heard all about you.
116
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:06,654
[mouthing words]
117
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:20,102
[laughter,
indistinct conversation]
118
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,931
Really, I'd never seen
anyone taller than me
119
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,933
struggle with the top shelf
at the supermarket,
120
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:30,112
much less a man, as in,
you know, a young-ish man.
121
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:33,376
And I know this is the oddest
fucking thing to say out loud,
122
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:37,119
but there was just something
so sweetly pathetic about him.
123
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,990
And here we are.
124
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:42,254
You know, like, like,
in a kid's book when, say,
125
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,387
a crocodile makes friends
with a worm.
126
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,910
- Mm.
- [cellphone chimes]
127
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:48,652
Oh. Sorry. [sighs]
128
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,309
Sorry. It's just, um...
Uh, won't be a tick.
129
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,312
What do you mean,
"something urgent"?
130
00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:00,795
No, sorry.
It's your night with them.
131
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,972
I can't have the girls because
I'm not at home tonight.
132
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:08,106
Okay. Right.
133
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:11,588
Well, your location app
is wrong, Karen, 'cause...
134
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,285
yeah, I'm only near
Ally's house.
135
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,682
[sighs] I'm actually with one
of the guys from Pilates.
136
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,554
Yeah, Julian.
137
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:23,687
Yeah, we're off out
on a big session of booze.
138
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,689
Yeah, so don't come to Ally's.
139
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,691
Not come to Ally's
'cause I'm not here. There.
140
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:30,738
Just don't go to Ally--
141
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,653
- [door closes]
- You all right, Darren?
142
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,959
Mm-hmm. How do you turn off
shared location on your phone?
143
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:38,006
- I have no idea.
- Oh, bugger!
144
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,529
[lowered voice]
Are you sure you're all right
145
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,836
about the 40,000
descending here?
146
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:43,359
Oh, no, it's fine, honestly.
147
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,882
- The more, the merrier.
- Okay.
148
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,884
I actually really want Holly
to meet Susie.
149
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,409
I didn't know I did, but I do.
150
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,759
- [cellphone rings]
- Oh.
151
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,674
[ringing continues]
152
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:56,067
- Hi, Holly!
- But I actually upped
153
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,418
and changed parishes to Reading.
154
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,767
- Oh.
- To be with Chris
155
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,378
and his two kids. Two of them.
156
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,772
[exhales deeply]
I never had kids,
157
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:07,122
never wanted them,
never once regretted it.
158
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:10,430
Children are not easy. Right?
159
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,782
So I gather, yeah.
160
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:17,915
- This is very good wine.
- [glass clatters]
161
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,048
- Where's this wine from?
- [Paul] Hiya!
162
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,398
Oh, Paul's here. Great.
Good on Paul.
163
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,618
- Hey.
- [Ally] Hi.
164
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,970
Oh. Fuck me. What's this?
Intervention?
165
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,624
- Yeah.
- Hi, Paul.
166
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,148
Hey, Sue. Sorry, I won't hug you
'cause I reek a little bit.
167
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,193
Um, sorry. I wasn't
expecting to see anyone.
168
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,065
- Yeah, I should have texted you.
- [Darren] Paul?
169
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,327
- This is Siobhan.
- Is it?
170
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,720
- [Darren] Mm-hmm.
- Hello.
171
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,070
- Hi.
- I cocked up like a big idiot,
172
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,680
got my weeks in a...
in a tizz.
173
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,639
The... The meal out
is next week,
174
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,249
and the meal
we're hosting is now.
175
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,774
- Is it?
- Yeah.
176
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,864
Brilliant. Okay. Uh, I...
I need a little shower,
177
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,345
so I'll, um,
see you folks in a bit.
178
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,782
- Any more up there?
- [laughter]
179
00:07:58,826 --> 00:07:59,870
- Siobhan?
- Yes.
180
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,002
Cool. Right.
181
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,791
[lowered voice] Hey. Hey.
182
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,793
So sorry, Paul.
It's my balls up, completely.
183
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,360
It's just a bit of a shock,
that's all,
184
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,709
coming into a house
that looks like
185
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,276
a fucking coach station
at Christmas.
186
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,973
- [chuckles]
- There's enough of those fuckers
187
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,845
- for a five-a-side.
- I know.
188
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:20,151
I was really looking forward
to a nice tagine as well.
189
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,806
- What are you cooking?
- A chili. Uh, a sort of chili.
190
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,940
Okay.
191
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,942
Uh, How's Ava? This can't be
the evening she was expecting.
192
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,074
She actually seems okay.
I think she's quite
193
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,685
looking forward to
a big coming out evening.
194
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,687
All right, well,
I'll go and say hi
195
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,820
and then get rid
of this man-hum.
196
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,387
Mm. Hang on. [sniffs]
197
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:42,478
Do you know what?
I don't hate that.
198
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,437
Sorry, was that, um--
199
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,483
Oh, Darren hasn't told Siobhan
about his kids.
200
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,485
- Very wise.
- So, don't mention them.
201
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,965
Not that we ever talk
about Darren's kids,
202
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,923
unless we want to feel
better about ourselves.
203
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,578
- [chuckles] Fair enough.
- [footsteps depart]
204
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,365
- [indistinct conversation]
- [exhales deeply]
205
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:01,802
[Holly speaks indistinctly]
206
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,455
It's just... you know...
207
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,414
No, it's just that
I thought that...
208
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,329
It's just a bit much, Ava,
209
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:10,071
like meeting your parents,
their friends,
210
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,900
and, you know, an actual vicar,
just like we're getting married.
211
00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:14,771
No, I get it. Sorry.
212
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,774
I just thought...
I was just being silly.
213
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,820
I... I'll make sure
it's just us.
214
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,561
It was a nice thought.
It really was.
215
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,652
It'll be great
to meet them, Ava.
216
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,523
No, it'll be boring.
217
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:33,181
All right then, folks. Let's
get this fucking party started.
218
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,009
- [laughter]
- Who said pass the parcel?
219
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,358
- [doorbell rings]
- [Ava] I'll get it!
220
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,491
Oh. [sighs]
221
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:40,231
- Hi.
- Hey.
222
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,670
Taxi for Darren?
223
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,410
Thanks, Ava.
I'll take this from here.
224
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,895
I'd like you to drive
my mobile phone around London.
225
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,114
Is this some sort of a joke?
226
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,161
It's 200 pounds there...
227
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,685
or should it...
should it be more?
228
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,730
How much to hire you
for the whole night?
229
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,427
- This ain't Pretty Woman,mate.
- 500?
230
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,299
200 now and the rest
when I pick up the phone?
231
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,649
Please, just drive it around.
My wife is looking for me,
232
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:07,998
and my children are
from The Shining.
233
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,739
Please, I'm desperate.
I'm a desperate man.
234
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:13,874
I mean, I'm paying 500 pounds
to give a phone a ride in a car.
235
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:18,269
- Go on then.
- God love ya. Thank you.
236
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,666
I mean, they do sound
like nightmare kids.
237
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,408
I tried so hard with them.
So hard.
238
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:28,279
But they... they just
wouldn't accept me.
239
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,020
- Oh.
- And of course,
240
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,370
Chris refused to take sides,
which, of course, meant--
241
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,372
That he absolutely
did take sides.
242
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,853
Oh, I'm so sorry, Susie.
243
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,289
- Thank you.
- I bet you won't miss Reading,
244
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,857
- though, will you?
- No.
245
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:43,468
Although I do think Reading
had a big part to play
246
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:46,428
- in why his kids were such...
- Fuckers?
247
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:49,170
Well, obviously I would never
say that 'cause that's...
248
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:53,696
very unchristian language,
but, yeah, total fuckers.
249
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,350
- [chuckles]
- [knock on door]
250
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,220
[Ava] Come in.
251
00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:01,704
Hey, darling. Just, uh,
came to check you're okay?
252
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,576
- Fine.
- Yeah?
253
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,672
So, Mum told me about Holly.
[laughs]
254
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,282
- [claps hands]
- That's...
255
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:19,243
I'm so excited to meet her.
When does she get here?
256
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,593
- Soon, I hope.
- Mm-hmm.
257
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,726
I think she's still coming,
but...
258
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,294
- [doorbell rings]
- Was that the door?
259
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:27,730
Uh, um...
260
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,079
Yeah, I think so. Maybe.
Oh, okay.
261
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,037
Yeah.
262
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,305
- All right, Bagpuss.
- Hey. It's the prodigal son.
263
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,569
You should have called ahead.
264
00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,876
I'd have slaughtered a lamb
or made you, I don't know,
265
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,965
a fucking coat of many colors
or something.
266
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,054
- Everything okay?
- Uh, no.
267
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:53,364
- All right.
- I've got a big favor to ask.
268
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,497
My friend from the ante-natal
group is a bit pissed.
269
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,020
He's very pissed.
270
00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,110
Right.
271
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,808
As in he's too pissed
to go home.
272
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,679
He's on thin ice as it is
with his partner.
273
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:08,118
Do you think he could just
dry out here, just for a bit?
274
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,859
- [sighs]
- I can't take him to Maya's.
275
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,208
Where is he now,
this pissed man?
276
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,470
I've got him propped up
around the back.
277
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:15,343
I wanted to speak to you
first and explain,
278
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:18,128
but he's waiting for me
to let him in.
279
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,522
We've got a bit
of a full house, mate.
280
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,437
And as it happens, this is
a big night for your sister,
281
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,918
so I don't love the idea
of anything distracting.
282
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,963
- [Ally yelps]
- [Darren] Paul?
283
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,704
- [clamor]
- [Siobhan] Jesus Christ.
284
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,098
[indistinct shouting]
285
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,577
- What's up?
- Oh, God.
286
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:34,318
Hey, hey, what's up?
287
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:36,799
Look, oh, got you now!
Got--Aah! Oh! Oh, oh.
288
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:39,497
- Aah! Get off me.
- What the fuck am I looking at?
289
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:41,717
[grunting]
290
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,025
Whoa! Hey! Fucking...
Oi, oi, oi!
291
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,941
- Get off him, you cunt!
- [groaning]
292
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,380
[groaning]
293
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,555
[laughter]
294
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,992
Then the sweaty dicker just
295
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:59,213
dropped down over the wall,
like, out of nowhere,
296
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,302
and I yelped 'cause
I thought that we were--
297
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:02,651
we were gonna be robbed.
298
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,784
Then suddenly,
Carl just swooped down
299
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,221
onto him like a big, bald swan.
300
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,484
- You're a hero, Carl.
- [Darren] Yeah, Carl.
301
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,007
I just had a fucking fight.
302
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,314
- Yes, you did, mate.
- Oh, fucking hell.
303
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,838
Fucking Jesus. Yes!
304
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,797
Oh, I haven't had a fight
since Spike Island.
305
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,408
I haven't been this happy
since Spike fucking Island.
306
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:21,975
I... I'm so sorry.
307
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,628
Yes, and so you should be, mate.
308
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:26,544
Carl, you're a Stone Roses fan?
309
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,633
Spike Island, Paul.
310
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,853
Just, yeah,
Spike fucking Island, you know?
311
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,507
[exhales deeply, sniffles]
312
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,465
Jesus Christ, Gaz. Have you
just gone and done more?
313
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,293
Listen, folks. Um...
314
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:37,512
- Oh, oh.
- Hey, look,
315
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:40,080
I'm... I'm all apologies,
okay?
316
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:44,040
But I've got a baby on the way,
all right, like Luke here,
317
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,999
- and we're just...
- Right.
318
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,088
[sighs] ...we're just coping,
you know?
319
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:51,439
We got a connection,
me and Luke, haven't we?
320
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,919
You know, I think
some people, they...
321
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:55,269
they... they come into your life
to teach you something.
322
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,053
[sniffles] You know?
323
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,533
And your son has done just that.
324
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,274
Unbelievable.
325
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,276
I think we've both kind
of realized, haven't we, Luke,
326
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:05,279
that we've got to just squeeze
the decadence in now, don't we?
327
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,457
"We"?
328
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,720
Are you doing fucking coke,
Luke?
329
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:14,810
No, I'm not! He is.
He definitely is.
330
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,594
- I think he's doing a lot.
- Well, I'll tell you what, mate.
331
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,858
Maybe the place not to bring
332
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,903
a character like that
in that state
333
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,036
is your mum and dad's
fucking house.
334
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,951
I've already told you, this is
a big night for your sister.
335
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,909
She's bringing
her first girlfriend round.
336
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,129
- Ava's got a girlfriend?
- Oh, it's...
337
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:30,695
You're gonna be a parent,
Luke, all right?
338
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,523
Make better fucking decisions!
339
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,222
[muffled] Because it's gonna be
one thing after another.
340
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:37,398
Let me tell you...
[continues indistinctly]
341
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:47,582
You know, for what
it's worth, I get it.
342
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,888
Fatherhood can be
a scary thing.
343
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,150
Sure how would you know?
344
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,849
Uh... Dad told me.
345
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:59,202
And what have you told her
regards where you're at?
346
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,335
Her at home?
347
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:04,251
Uh, that I'm, uh,
caught up at work.
348
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:05,905
Hmm.
349
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:10,039
No, fella, don't do that.
Don't lie. Go home.
350
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,172
She's laid up on bricks
having your baby.
351
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,087
Don't fucking lie to her.
352
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,523
There's nothin' worse
than a liar.
353
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:16,872
[door closes]
354
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,482
- All right, folks...
- [claps hands]
355
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,136
After that...
after that palaver,
356
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:22,573
I think the least
we can do is get you drunk.
357
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:25,533
- So, who's for red?
- Well, can I get one of those?
358
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:29,972
No! Fucking bare knuckle
Barbie, you can't.
359
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,496
Jesus Christ.
What were you thinking?
360
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,542
And why can't you just use
the fucking front door
361
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:35,978
like normal people? Hey?
362
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,415
I mean,
look at the state of Carl.
363
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,593
- You all right, Carl?
- Fine now, thank you.
364
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:45,031
- Good.
- Yeah, just fine.
365
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,815
It's very nice, you know.
366
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:49,339
- Hmm? What is?
- The inside.
367
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,689
Your house.
368
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,778
Okay.
369
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,434
- Can I get you anything?
- Oh.
370
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:58,783
Got a cheese sandwich, have you?
371
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,263
- A cheese sandwich?
- Ooh.
372
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,047
No!
373
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,007
One cheese sandwich
for Carl coming up.
374
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:09,229
Ah, some fucker
been in my chutneys?
375
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,839
Has anyone seen Ava?
376
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,712
[sniffles]
377
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,106
[footsteps approach]
378
00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,937
- What's happened?
- [sniffles]
379
00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:25,941
Holly's not coming round.
380
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,857
- Okay.
- [sniffles]
381
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,294
I wanted to do
this big coming out thing,
382
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,687
and she's not into it.
383
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,951
[sniffles]
384
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,257
She thinks all that
"meet the family" stuff
385
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,346
is a bit too much.
386
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:40,782
Well, just... Well, that's fine.
387
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:43,785
We'll just give her
a bit more time.
388
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,222
She says no one really has
a big coming out thing anymore.
389
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,183
And I just feel
so stupid and naive.
390
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,185
There is not one thing
about you that's stupid.
391
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:53,882
Do you understand?
392
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,623
We've only been seeing
each other a couple of weeks.
393
00:16:55,666 --> 00:17:00,062
What was I thinking?
What if I've ruined everything?
394
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,369
Break... Breakups are
always hard, my darling,
395
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,588
- especially the first time--
- We haven't broken up.
396
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,330
- Okay.
- I'm not upset
397
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,680
because we split up. I'm...
398
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:12,814
I'm embarrassed at being
old-fashioned and just stupid.
399
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,425
All right, I... I see. Sorry.
400
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,818
We'll still see each other.
401
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:19,038
Holly just doesn't
wanna come round tonight
402
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,258
to meet you two...
and everyone.
403
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:23,825
Right.
404
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,262
Well, I mean...
405
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,351
You know, at... at least we...
406
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,398
We know you better now,
don't we?
407
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,790
Mm-hmm.
408
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,837
You know, we know
that you're gay. It's...
409
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,796
It's also not... not a big deal
at all, by the way,
410
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,797
in case you were wondering
if it was.
411
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,800
No, I want it to be a big deal.
412
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,411
It is a big deal for me.
413
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,501
Maybe that was
my stupid mistake.
414
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,633
I wanted you.
415
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,462
I wanted my parents
to be a part of this.
416
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:55,117
I wanted this to be
my moment. Mine. Mine.
417
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,729
Some affirmation of me.
418
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:01,428
Yeah, listen, sweetheart,
I think that's absolutely
419
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,994
what we all want as well,
isn't it? I think--
420
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,083
I think that what
we're trying to say...
421
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,736
- Yeah.
- ...is that we will always
422
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,522
love you completely, no matter
who you tell us you are.
423
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:09,610
Well, I want it to matter.
424
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:16,704
I know you're trying to make me
feel comfortable, and thank you.
425
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,401
But I want this
to matter as much...
426
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,015
...every inch as much,
for once...
427
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,105
...as anything that's
happening in Luke's life.
428
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,238
And it really hasn't helped
429
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,545
that he's dragged in
that pisshead downstairs.
430
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,329
Right, okay, tell you what.
You stay here.
431
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:34,678
We're gonna go
and clear the house out,
432
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,376
and then we'll be back,
okay? Don't move.
433
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:44,297
- [footsteps approach]
- How's she getting on up there?
434
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:47,343
- Not terribly well. And--
- Your wee girl? Ava, was it?
435
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,824
- Ava, yeah.
- Having a bit of an upset?
436
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,739
- First bit of heartbreak.
- Yeah.
437
00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,697
Just as well.
I fucking hate chili.
438
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,960
hate anything to do
with cowboys.
439
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:58,441
Thank you for a lovely evenin'.
440
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,661
You should piss off, too.
441
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:02,097
You're next door,
as I understand it.
442
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,968
- Yeah, he's--
- But you, Snorty Spice,
443
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,188
where is it you call home?
We'll drop you in our Uber.
444
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,277
Oh, actually,
could I get in on that?
445
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,191
If you don't mind dropping
me off at the station.
446
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,410
Yeah, of course.
447
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,890
All right if I stay here,
is it, mate?
448
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,588
If I go home in this state,
she'll kill me.
449
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,504
What age are you to be
hanging out with this child?
450
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,245
You must be near my age
and his.
451
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,202
- Move your boney arse.
- [exhales deeply]
452
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,464
[mouths words]
453
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,118
[mouths words]
454
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,294
- Thank you, Carl.
- [mouths words]
455
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:27,557
Oh, you're welcome, Paul.
456
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,559
Just trying to be
a good neighbor.
457
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,214
Well, next time it's my turn to
have a big fight on yourpatio.
458
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:34,608
- Oh, look forward to that.
- [chuckles]
459
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,044
- Bye, Luke.
- See you, Carl.
460
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,480
Bye, all.
461
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:38,438
Bye.
462
00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:41,615
[exhales deeply]
463
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:43,225
Sorry. What...
What's happening with Ava?
464
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,792
[door closes]
465
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:56,369
Could we make a quick pit stop
at this wee corner shop, please?
466
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:03,376
Here, precious. I'm stuck
in the middle back here.
467
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,813
Would you mind running in
and grabbing me a deck of fags?
468
00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:19,609
That card expired weeks ago.
Mate, can we get going, please?
469
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:25,224
Oh, hello.
470
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:32,579
Uh... he appears to have
dropped his cocaine.
471
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:35,364
Can you drop us at
the nearest pub, please, mate?
472
00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:39,325
I've got twins. Two girls, 13.
They're very full on.
473
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,501
- Jesus. What?
- I'm sorry, Siobhan.
474
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,983
I think I'm in love with you.
475
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:51,554
[under breath]
Well, you don't get
476
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:52,947
any of this stuff in Reading.
477
00:20:57,734 --> 00:21:00,215
Got a bit sexy there tonight
a couple of times, didn't it,
478
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,523
with the fight
and the pheromones?
479
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:04,915
Or was I imagining it?
480
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,352
No, it did get a bit sexy.
You're right.
481
00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:15,665
We should break
our drought soon.
482
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,015
- We should, but not tonight.
- No, not tonight. Fuck, no.
483
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,148
Christ, I just wanna sleep.
484
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:21,280
Mm.
485
00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:23,760
[knock on door]
486
00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:26,197
Mum, Dad, I don't really
wanna talk right now,
487
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:27,416
if that's all right.
488
00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:32,465
Just me.
489
00:21:34,467 --> 00:21:35,642
Is it all right if I come in?
490
00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:55,792
I'm sorry for stealing focus
again tonight.
491
00:21:57,141 --> 00:21:59,622
I know it's a bit of a habit.
492
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:01,711
It's just...
493
00:22:01,755 --> 00:22:05,193
There was this 36-year-old
man-child chasing me around,
494
00:22:05,236 --> 00:22:08,370
and... this was the tree
that I ran up.
495
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:12,940
[chuckles]
496
00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:20,774
So, listen, I hear that
you have a girlfriend.
497
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:27,215
That's massive!
498
00:22:28,869 --> 00:22:30,610
Do you fancy telling me
all about her?
499
00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:33,308
Whoever she is?
37725
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