Original subtitles

Here, watch out, mate.

Yeah, you know, the...

Hey, mate. What year is it?

Lay off the booze, you wanker.

Alright, girls?

Fellas!

You alright? You still boxing?

Bilbo.

Billy!

Oh, Billy!

Oh, steady on, Henry.

You wouldn't believe this dream I had.

I've been to the future.

Not the fucking aliens again, man. You've got to lay off the acid.

I never thought I'd see the inside of this fucking dive again.

You? Who are you trying to fool?

Jog on. Dave. Yeah.

Bring us a pint. Yeah, alright.

Fuck it. Make it two. And 20 fags.

And you got something to eat? A packet of crisps? Cheese?

Henry.

You understand, Billy.

Henry Mallet. I need to talk to you.

I fucking hate dreams.

Hang about.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

What does it look like?

Nice moves.

Come on. Dance with me.

I thought you had to be high to keep you on the dance floor.

Ah. You're ticklish.

Am I?

Oh.

Oh, Jesus! Oh!

Oh, you scared me.

What you doing? What does it look like?

What does it look like? I was getting ready.

What is it?

Nothing. What?

What does it look like?

I've got to have a shower. Rightio.

Morning. Sorry I'm late.

Oh, don't be like that. I'm here now.

We can do whatever you like.

What'd I say?

Thank you, Mr Ritchie.

Who do we have next?

Jason Stone.

Oh, rightio.

Just hope I don't get the suction stuck on his tongue again.

Mmm.

Open wide now, Jason.

Hmm. Oh.

Oh! Oh! Jeez!

Sorry! Oh, I'm so sorry.

Up you get, Jason. Take them off.

Sorry.

I'll dry these out for you. Thanks.

Sorry. It's... really, it's alright.

Uh, 47, 46 - occlusal class I, composite resin.

Oh, using Ketact Molar and flowable resin.

Uh, Dr Darling? Yes.

I was just wondering, um, about...

Oh, yes. I meant to say something about that.

I have noticed that there's a wisdom tooth just starting to erupt...

No, no. Not that. Um...

I was just wondering if you'd like to go for a drink with me sometime.

Excuse me?

Um... Yeah, just a beer or something.

Oh, as a friend?

Well, I... I'd heard you and your husband had split recently

and I thought...

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I mean... Oh! You're so...

Um...

Uh, no, I can't.

Um, ethically speaking, you're my patient.

Oh, yeah, of course.

I mean... It's OK, Dr Darling. Just forget I asked.

See you.

Sorry about your pants.

Well, it's better to be a hammer than an anvil.

That makes no sense, Linda.

Do you think your Dad's ready to start seeing other women?

I think he is.

I think he needs, um, a special friend who understands him.

Miss Take says it can take a long time for people to become friends.

That's very true.

I like ice-cream. Me too.

Don't tell your mum.

You're Zac.

That I am.

It's upstairs. I'll just grab it.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Great to get this back. Good.

Did, uh, Suzy say anything about it?

I don't know what it is.

OK.

Hey, uh, is Elvis around? I, uh... I brought him some music.

Yeah, he's just practising.

It's OK if I... Sure.

He's in the study.

Do you know where that is?

No.

Thank you.

I'll be in the kitchen.

Hi, Elvis. I'm a friend of your mum.

I remember. Zac. Hi.

So, Mr Hannigan, why were you in my dreams?

What is this music?

Oh, this is just something I've been playing around with.

You wrote this? Seriously?

Yeah. It's good.

Ooh, listen to Mr Music. He knows a lot.

You like it? Yeah, yeah, I do.

It's, uh, some real natural talent you got there.

Do you play any instruments?

Yes, do you? Oh, I dabble, yeah.

Guitar, piano. No talent.

No real talent, I'm afraid, but, uh, still love my music.

I, uh, burnt you some of my favourites.

Just for you to listen to, expand your repertoire.

Cool.

Keep up with the music.

I Will.

Good man. Thanks.

Hey, uh, you might know.

Have you known Suzy for long?

Um... yeah.

Have you? Uh, just met her recently.

How did the two of you meet?

Uh, through work. Yeah.

So, uh, you would, uh... you'd know her husband.

Yeah. Elvis's dad.

Yeah. So he's still around?

Yeah, of course.

Suzy left him. Didn't you know that?

Oh.

What's he like?

He's wonderful.

I meant... that he's an older guy?

No.

But he's older than Suzy.

Uh...

Here.

Steve. Stephen Darling.

Right, so... this is Suzy's ex-husband,

but how can you be sure that this is Elvis's father?

Um, I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

How long have you worked for Suzy?

What? Well, you're her nanny, right?

Excuse me?

Sorry. You prefer 'au pair'?

'Childcare professional'?

I'm her sister, OK?

Now, please leave.

That's all I wanted to know.

Can you, uh, pour us a glass?

Cheers.

Why don't you try a strawberry?

Oh, I'm not really crazy about strawberries.

Trust me, this one you'll want to try.

Mmm, nah.

Seriously.

Oh, d-don't just...!

Um...

Like this.

Ohh.

You've given an old man a lot of joy, Viola.

Oh, come here.

Mmm...

What's that?

Oh, that's a cheetah that I picked up on my last... trip to China.

Oh, no, the other thing.

Oh, that's... for later.

It's a pillow.

Well, what's it for?

You can... you know, get some good positions on it.

Oh, oh! Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, oh! Yeah, can you feel it?

Yes? Yes? Oh!

I'm fucking you.

Come on, baby. Oh, oh, oh!

Let's... fuuuuck! Aaah!

I had a dream last night.

I was having a beer. It was fucking lovely.

Oh. Really? Mmm.

Me and good old Zac. Oh.

Having a beer and a packet of crisps in a pub.

Huh. Oh, it sounds like a rather boring dream.

Yeah. Got better.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I had a little dance.

With you.

That's impossible.

As I remember it, I was pretty good.

No, no, no, Henry, I dreamed last night that I danced with you.

What? In this big, huge, beautiful room.

So, did we dance or... or didn't we?

We must have done. We both remember it.

Surely that's not possible.

Really?

You're ticklish, right?

But we were asleep. It was a dream.

We can meet in our dreams.

Yeah.

So, maybe I'll see you down the pub later, then?

Alright. I'll try.

Mmm. Hammer & Sickle.

Don't be late.

Mmm.

Henry, wake up.

I can't sleep.

Henry?

Where are you?

Hi.

Well, hi, Suzy.

How are you?

Yeah, good.

How's the weather? Can I come in?

Why?

Well, I just was feeling like, um...

I... I can't sleep.

Guilty conscience? I'm no priest.

Actually, I, um...

I just wondered if you wanted to, um...

you know.

No. What?

You know.

Do you want to or not?

Oh!

Oh, look, I'd love to help you out but I just... I just can't tonight.

Oh. Why not?

Well, you know.

What's her name?

Don't be ridiculous.

It's parent-teacher night this Tuesday night. Don't forget.

Yes, it's me.

What was that?

What was what?

Oh, I thought I heard something.

Oh, that was just a stray cat.

Oh.

Rowrr!

Another one, Dave. Righto.

Cheers.

Elvis!

Where's your mum?

I don't know. I've been waiting for her for hours.

No... Who are you? Where's my mum?

Elvis, it's me, Henry.

I'm Zac's friend.

Henry from the Nerve?

I don't know you!

No, no, no, no, no. You don't.

Somebody get this kid a drink.

Elvis?

I said I'd wait for you and I did.

And that is why I kept on waiting for you for a long time and forever.

Oh, shivers.

Whoa! Fucking hell.

Hello.

Is this... a dream?

Um, I've got a feeling it must be your nightmare. Where were you last night?

I waited at the pub for hours. Henry.

Yeah, sorry. Sorry, yeah.

But I said the red one is the best,

'cause if you have the red one, then you have special powers.

You can actually, like, fly and do all magic tricks...

Oh, that's great. ..like, heaps better.

Hi, Verity.

Good morning, Miss Take.

Mrs Darling. Hi, Miss Take.

Oh, Viola, please. Oh, sorry. We're late.

No, it's fine. I just got no sleep last night.

Neither did I.

Look, I... I just wanted to have a little chat to you about the situation.

Uh, OK.

Um, well, not as Verity's teacher, just as woman to woman.

Oh, right. Well, what are your thoughts on it?

Uh... well, I-I just wanted to say that I know it must be hard for you,

but I want you to know that I'm a professional.

OK, well, that's... that's great.

Well, that's all I really wanted to say, unless you wanted to...

Oh, um, well, I... I should say that, um...

well, yeah, you are a professional.

Um...

I mean, you know, your support has been fantastic for my family,

and me and Verity, and, uh... and Steve.

Of course. Really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You are a great support. We always say that about you.

�What a support." Really?

Wow. I... I didn't think that you would see it like that.

Yeah. Just... keep up the good work.

OK.

It was... it was really lovely having this talk with you.

Mmm.

Um, but I... I'd better go. Have a lovely day.

Hi, Linda.

Oh, hi. Hi, Terry.

Wow. Well, um, I can't believe it's been three months already.

Yeah, well, you can't be too careful with your teeth.

No. Sure. Sure.

Well, you just have a seat. She'll be with you in a moment.

Hi, Suzy.

Terry's here for his check-up.

Oh, hi, Terry. Hey, you look great.

Those colours really suit you. Oh, thank you.

So, you'll be alright on your own? I beg your pardon?

Well, I thought I might just take lunch if you're OK on your own.

Oh, yeah, thank you. Can you get me a salad sandwich?

Sure.

And so I proposed right there and then.

That is a truly delightful love story.

Oh!

One that gets richer and more beautiful with every chapter,

just like my wife.

Oh, Steve, you're too much.

And, really, just like us.

I mean, this deal secures

the brightest possible future

for both our families.

Kanpai.

To long and happy marriages and finally meeting the beautiful Suzy.

Kanpai.

Kanpai.

Oh, are you using the Braun?

Yeah. Three times a day.

Mmm. They're really beautiful, Terry.

Really beautiful.

Kanpai. Kanpai.

Kanpai.

Don't come in.

You just said... Oh, no, sorry.

I meant... No, um... no, keep going.

Really? Yeah. Keep going.

Well, what is it?

You're just, um, really quiet.

Look, thanks so much for doing this.

With these cowboys, it's all about family values.

Is it going OK?

Jonks, you are good.

I mean, you're really good.

I had no idea. No, I'm...

Yes.

I mean, I don't know why I didn't think of this ages ago.

Oh, Stephen.

To you, and to all the money I'll be making.

Oh.

To us.

Don't.

What?

Don't... make me reject you.

Oh, no, I... I didn't...

Jonks, I'm a broken-hearted man.

Uh, I was being Suzy.

No, you weren't.

I'm a Method actor.

Quick, they're coming back.

Smile.

Oh, there you are. Come on, I'll give you a lift.

Oh, I'll get a cab.

I have to pick up your child.

OK. Suit yourself.

Hey, hey, thanks again.

Jonquil.

Yeah?

The ring.

Yeah, careful, careful. That's worth...

I know!

Can you stop at a bottle-o, please?

Yeah, sure.

Slow down. Slow down.

Hello, darling.

What are you waiting for? Get in.

Males at 15 experience a rapid change in hormones.

This leads to aggressive and territorial behaviour.

He's gonna leave them, you know.

That's what they do. They just mate with them and move on.

He should stick around. They really should.

Who's that?

Oh, it's no-one. Is that a girl?

He's going out with Veronca.

Veronica.

- Are you going outwith a girl? - Face facts, love.

Even the 13-year-old's getting laid more than you are.

We're not going out, I just asked her out.

And how did this happen?

Well, the sane orangutan doesn't usually hang around

waiting for the recently separated orangutan to share a banana.

You like this girl?

Yeah. She's cool.

Aunty Jonks, you'll get a boyfriend soon. You're great.

Wouldn't hold your breath, son.

Can you feel that? Yeah, that's right. I'm fucking you.

Are you laughing?

No. I'm sorry. Keep going.

Oh.

You think it's funny when I fuck you with my big, hard cock?

Mm-hm! Huh? Yeah, baby.

Mmm. Mmm. Yeah, yeah, mmm.

I'm fucking you. Mmm!

Oh, yeah, let's fuck!

Ohhh!

I'm so... I'm so...

Oh... oh, no...

I think it's time for you to leave, Miss Take.

I'm sorry... if...

You're not a very nice person, Miss Take.

- Hi. - Hi.

Jonquil?

Has she been drinking? Go easy. She's having a bad day.

Jonqul

Whoa.

Oh, I must have dozed off.

Oh. What are you doing? What?

Oh, come on. I just had a glass.

Oh. What's with you?

You're really flushed.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. She's right. You kind of are.

No, I'm not.

I would appreciate it if you didn't drink yourself into a stupor in front of the kids.

OK, fine.

Find yourself someone else who'd do this work for free for no thanks.

Sorry. Whatever.

Jonquil, I'm sorry. Don't worry about it.

Did you change your hair?

Verity, Mummy's going to go and freshen up, OK?

And then do you want to help me cook some dinner?

Can we make frankfurter spectacular?

Definitely.

I like your hair like that.

Rita?

Yes.

Henry Mallet.

You know me?

Oh, yes, I do.

What's going on?

I'm having trouble finding my apartment.

And this guitar is so heavy.

Oh. Right.

Well, perhaps I can help.

Do you know where I live?

Yes, I do. This way.

Thank you.

I often think about you.

You pop into my head at the oddest times throughout the day.

That's 'cause I'm a ghost, Rita,

and I do occasionally visit you and Rocco.

Rocco always said there was a ghost in the building.

I hope you've forgiven us.

For what?

Here's my door.

Thank you.

Forgiven you for what?

Rita!

Oh! Bollocks.

Fucking hate dreams.

Ohh, Henry.

Oh, Henry.

Henry?

Who's Henry? How did you get in here?

Well, you came over.

No, I... no, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

I mean, you never go down on me. Oh, don't start. I just did.

And now... I'm gonna give you a bit of my big, hard...

Oh! Oh! God!

What's the matter? What's wrong?

That's not my cock.

Oh.

So, where'd you go last night?

I don't remember.

Oh. I couldn't even leave the building.

Oh. Helped Rita back to her apartment.

Bizarre. Oh.

Mmm.

Where are the kids?

They went for a swim. Wh...

Don't worry. The little Adam and the other one are with them.

Elvis was going to come in to wake you up,

but, bless him, he decided you needed more rest.

He's got a date today.

Really? Uh-huh. Lucky lady called Veronica.

Ha!

Oh.

Ahhh.

Hello? Hoo-hoo!

Hi, Terry. Hi, Suze.

Uh, sorry to drop in on you like this.

I wasn't being creepy or anything. I was just in the area.

Oh. Hello, Terry.

Um, now's not the best time. Oh.

It's just the kids. I don't want them to, you know...

Sure.

Where are the kids?

Uh, they've... just gone up to the pool.

Oh, lucky them. Yeah.

Well, I'll make it quick. I just wanted to talk to you about..

Your appointment yesterday?

My appointment? Yeah. Your appointment.

It was really good. You're really looking after your teeth.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, but it was more to do with the other thing.

Does somebody have a crush? Uh, the other thing.

Um... Did he ask you out?

I just wanted to know whether you want to go out sometime.

Have a drink, dinner...

Huh! I wouldn't have thought he had it in him. Brilliant.

Whoo! Um, well...

You know, I'm cool either way.

But if you wanted to, I'd really like to.

Oh, um, that's really, really nice, Terry,

but I just think I'm on the rebound.

I'm just not really ready to...

start seeing anyone. Yeah.

Of course, yeah. Aw.

I understand. It's like kicking a puppy.

But if you ever, you know, want to, just give me a call.

OK. Thanks, Terry. That's nice.

"Nice"?

Well, I-I'll be off. Mm-hm. OK. Thanks.

Mwah. Ooh! Awkward.

I'll see you in three months for my next check-up.

Ooh.

What was he grinning about? You knocked him back.

I don't know. Happy guy.

Yeah, happy guy. Who knows you're ticklish.

Everybody knows that. Mmm.

Oh, g'day, mate.

Hi.

You, uh, on your way, then?

Yep. Just... going.

Good.

You didn't, did you? No.

No!

You're having a laugh. Terry?!

Nothing happened.

Hello? Hey.

Where are the kids? Hello. They're swimming.

Perfect.

So, um, in here or what?

Excuse me?

I've got an hour. Where do you want to pump?

"Pump"? Fucking brilliant.

Oh.

I've thought about it and I have decided, despite everything,

that, um, I can sort you out.

"Sort you out"?

Stop it, please.

Oh, what? Now you're being coy.

You went to Steve?

Oh, I do not want to have this conversation!

I'll bet you don't. Exactly.

No more talk. Let's get to it.

Blimey, what a charmer. No wonder you went back for seconds.

Shut up! That's more like it.

Maybe you could tie me up.

Spank me.

Oh...

Check this out. Ahhh!

What the fuck is that?

Hey? I knew this would take your fancy.

What is that? Come on. I'll show you.

Yeah, come on over, Suze. Let him show you.

You'll like it.

I won't like it. I'm not going anywhere near it.

Come on. I've been getting some very good feedback with it.

Oh...!

Steve, stop. Just stop it.

OK?

Oh, right. I forgot.

It has to be everything the way you like it,

when you want it, all the time.

No, my life has never been the way that I'd like it. Never.

Until right now.

I'm, um... I'm sorry that I came over to your house.

It was stupid and selfish, and it won't happen again.

Yes, it will. You'll be back.

In your dreams, Steve.

Fine.

Fine. Go fuck yourself, then.

Sorry. I know you don't like me watching you sleep.

No, that's alright, Henry.

Um...

I'm sorry.

I am too.

You don't have anything to be sorry for.

I just wish things were different.

So do I.

I just... I can't be with a ghost.

It's just... how is that ever gonna work?

No. No, you're right.

Stupid.

You got to admit, though, it is... it is kind of fascinating.

Well, it's a bit unexpected.

Crazy.

And fun.

It's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.

And to me.

Come here.

Mmm.

You smell of... cigarettes.

And beer.

Do I? Sorry. No, I like it.

Don't wake up.

Mum!

No, no, no! Mum!

Mum, wake up!

Hmm.

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