Original subtitles

- [bluegrass music playing] - [wind whistling]

- [horses neighing] - [coachman yelling]

[bluegrass music continues]

- [hooves clomping] - [bluegrass music continues]

[horses snort]

[horse hooves clomping]

[horses snorting]

[wheels rattling]

[low grunting]

Trying to freeze me and the kid before we get to town, Marshall?

It's colder than the balls of hell in here.

Bowels, dumb shit.

[chuckles]

What?

Never mind.

- The fuck you say? - Sit the fuck down, Floyd.

Settle down, Jane.

[sighs]

Nah, she ain't her.

- [horses clomping continue] - [chains jingle]

[coachman] Whoa, whoa!

[horses neigh and snort]

I wouldn't go out there.

Yeah. Why not?

Doesn't smell right.

[coachman] Deputy?

[door squeaks]

[horses snorting]

Stay here.

Can I help you, ma'am?

Got thrown. Horse took off.

Messed up my leg.

- [tense music plays] - [coachman groans]

- [body thuds] - Let's move!

What is it?

[grunts, groans]

- You wanna let me out of these shackles? - [grunts]

[keys jingle]

Jesus, Deputy, he's just a kid.

I won't hesitate to shoot you.

[tense music playing]

[grunts] Hey, are you really Calamity Jane?

Stop your whinin'.

Alton wants your coachin' horses,

and your guns of course.

And any other valuables you may be carrying

on your persons or otherwise.

- Okay, on the count three. - What? Wha...

- One. - [gasps and sputters]

[Jane grunts]

Press down.

[Mason] I am the Deputy Sheriff in the city of Deadwood,

transportin' these prisoners back to face justice.

And?

- [arrow whistles and thuds] - [low grunt]

[horses neigh]

[Mason] I'm afraid we're at an impasse.

I'm not surrendering this stage.

- [tense music intensifies] - [rider grunts]

- [rider grunts] - Get.

[horses neighing]

[gunshots blast]

[rider grunts]

- [gunshot] - [both grunting]

[grunting continues]

[grunts]

[both breathing heavily]

[both grunting]

[grunts]

[both grunting]

[grunting continues]

- [grunting] - [gasping]

[grunts, pants]

[grunts] Take your time.

- [gunshot] - [grunts, groans]

- [Jane shouts out] - [breathing heavily]

- [horses neigh] - Whoa! Whoa.

- [horses snorting] - [both breathing deeply]

- What are you doin'? - Well, I appreciate the help,

but that don't change the fact you got a date with the judge.

You no-good son of a.

- [Jane grunts] - [tense music sting]

[bluegrass music playing]

Where's Slaughter?

Didn't make it.

Goddamn it.

How'd our cargo fare?

[door squeaks and thuds]

- Two out of three. - [snaps fingers]

- Come on. - [Lance grunts]

- [chains jingling] - [Lance grunts]

Calamity fuckin' Jane.

You need to get that kid a doctor.

I need to get you both in that cell.

You swore an oath.

In a land built on broken oaths?

He'll get a fair trial if he lasts that long.

- [horse snorts] - Now...

if I were you, I'd be a little more concerned

about my own prospects.

Keep watch, Deputy.

It'd be a shame if anything happened to them.

Go on.

Yeah, from what I hear, your sheriff ain't much for following the law.

Rumor has it, he likes being judge and executioner.

You okay with that?

[handcuffs rattle]

What about me saving your ass?

You think saving a couple lives absolves you of your sins?

Well, shit.

I figured it couldn't hurt.

[whistles]

[soft grunt]

Calamity...

Calamity Jane? [Chuckles]

You know who I am?

No. Nor do I give a buffalo shit.

[chuckles]

Well,

I'm wanted for murder in five states. [Laughs]

He says they gonna hang me in the morning.

Well I tell you a little secret?

Ain't the first time that they try.

I ain't yet done leaving my mark.

[chains rattle]

Hey. Hmm.

My brother's coming tomorrow to bust me out.

I might let you come with us if you ask nice.

[laughs]

I'm good.

You best not piss me off,

or you're gonna be

next.

Yeah, that's right. Take a nice look.

[yells]

Hey.

[laughs]

Keep it down in there.

[laughs]

You're exactly the firestorm I imagined, Calamity Jane.

[whoops]

[laughs]

Calamity Jane.

Calamity fuckin' Jane. [Laughs]

[pencil scratching]

[pencil scratching continues]

Whose the letter for?

- Nobody. - Nobody?

You mean ain't nobody gonna read your letter?

It's not a letter. It's a book.

[laughs] A book?

I was covering the war for Harper's Weekly

until the killing got to me.

Family's torn apart, fighting one another,

it was a rotten deal.

So I headed out West and here I am.

A writer.

Damn.

What's the book about?

So how'd you get the name Calamity Jane?

I'm guessing your mama didn't call you that.

Now, Deputy, you're not thinking about putting little old me

- in your book now, are you? - [Mason chuckles]

They called me Martha.

Mama died of pneumonia when I was 12.

Pa two years later, leaving me to raise the family.

Now, Calamity.

You're gonna wanna write this down.

Oh, well, is it... is it story time now?

Sure is. And I'll be sure to use small words for you.

- Hmm. Hmm. - Now,

Calamity.

That name was given to me by good old Cap Egan

when we was fighting Indians just south of Goose Creek.

They ambushed us about a mile from our post.

Cap Egan takes an arrow and nearly dies twice falling off his steed,

and I snatched him up before they could maul him and took one in the gut.

When we got back to camp,

he got the whole regiment together,

made a toast.

To Calamity Jane, Queen of the High Plain.

Or some shit like that.

Memory gets a little murky on account of the whiskey.

Sounds like bullshit to me.

[Jane] Hurts worse than a conversation with a priest when it rains.

Oh, that's a nice one.

[Mason] You ever get tired of it?

Imagine a lot comes along with a name like Calamity.

I suppose.

[door squeaks]

But now, history doesn't remember Janes.

No, it don't.

Or Abigails.

[Wild Bill] Based off the beautiful voice,

coach full of arrows tells me that I'm in the right place.

About time.

- Can I help you, sir? - Backin' the fuck up

would be a good start.

[Abigail] Holy shit.

Well, if it ain't Wild Bill himself.

Ooh, you guys have a collection

of real nasty folks here, don't we? [Laughs]

Got no quarrel with you as of yet.

- [Abigail] Mm, ooh. - Or the law.

I'm just here to see my wife-to-be.

Aw. Ain't that sweet.

Heard the coach got shot up. Just wanted to make sure that you were...

[Jane] I'm fine,

as I can be under the circumstances.

[gentle music playing]

You smell good.

I smell like sweat.

That's what I said.

You left this.

Aren't you gonna put it on?

I got something else for you.

Do, you remember

that little plot of land outside Lewis County?

Place with the wildflowers?

And the orchard with the little apple trees.

It's ours now.

So what?

Wild Bill Hickok's just gonna settle down and become a fuckin' farmer?

That's exactly what he's gonna do, with you.

Maybe a few little ones running around.

[light chuckle]

[music swells]

- [Abigail] Ugh. - [Bill and Jane kiss]

Now, what trivial matter did you arrest my wife-to-be for?

She got drunk and robbed some ranchers.

They were thieving wrestlers. They besmirched my honor,

and I wasn't drunk.

Well, I can still smell the whiskey.

I'll talk to the bellman in the mornin'.

We'll have you outta here 'bout midday.

When the times are getting dark,

and the night things are growling at you,

remember to lean on the good work of the Lord for guidance.

Nothing wrong with spreading the word of the Lord.

Yeah, well,

we don't see too much of the good Lord here in Deadwood.

Promise you'll go straight to sleep and wait for the magistrate.

Of course.

No drinking.

No cards.

I love you.

No fuckin' cards, Bill, I mean it.

[Bill] I heard you. High noon tomorrow.

- Deputy. - No fuckin' cards, Bill.

[chuckles]

What are you doin' with that killer?

You and I did some killing earlier ourselves, Deputy, or did you forget that already?

That was different. We was defending ourselves.

[Jane] Right.

There is a darkness in his eyes.

- Is that right? - You're different.

You ain't got what he got.

You sure about that?

You don't know shit about me.

[laughs]

[Abigail laughs]

[Jane] There's good in Bill.

He just needs a little salvation is all.

[Abigail laughs]

Salvation?

For people like us? Uh-uh.

There ain't nothing waiting in the sky

- for savages and outlaws. - [ominous music playing]

Ain't that right, lawman? [Laughs]

[ominous music continues]

[Abigail laughs]

[Abigail groans] Go on.

[ragtime music playing]

[people laughing] - [woman] Get your asses back upstairs

and pay what you owe!

- [woman grunting] - [men laughing]

[indistinct chatter]

Mmm.

Ah, keep 'em coming, sweetheart.

- [laughs] - [glasses clink]

- [loud slap] - [patron grunts]

- [chair squeaks] - [doors creak]

And on the seventh day,

the good Lord sent his favorite son

to rob you bastards blind.

Whiskey.

- [cork pops] - [whiskey pouring]

Thank you.

Ain't no room for you at this table, Wild Bill.

Jack McCall,

is that, uh, slavin',

whorin' brother Baron of yours

still making his living off the backs of others?

If you know my brother, you know he don't take kindly

to you insulting our name.

Yeah, I reckon I don't give a fuck.

I'm afraid my man Riley's sitting there.

[chair slides]

[thuds]

[Bill sighs]

Ten.

[dramatic music playing]

[Jack] Raise.

Twenty.

Forty.

[hand thuds]

Well

two pair. Aces high.

- [group laughing] - [chuckles]

[gun cocks] - You're fuckin' crazy, just like they say.

What's the most you ever lost on a hand?

What's the most you ever lost on a hand?

'Cause my Colt

has been trained at your nuts since I sat down.

Now, from what I can gather,

that's not a Colt.

And if it ain't, I don't think I'd trust it in a gunfight.

Now your bullet could go to the rig, could go to the left.

That thing could backfire, hit you right in the face, which from where I'm sitting,

well, that'd be a fuckin' improvement.

[gun cocks] - [barkeep] Only man here allowed to dirty these floors

is my late husband.

Well, since the lady says so,

and since I'm in such a good mood...

[gun clacks]

I'm gonna let you live.

[hand thuds]

[footsteps tapping]

Jack, Jack, Jack, you... you're forgetting something.

I-I don't reckon I did.

You-you forgot to say thank you.

- What? - You forgot to say thank you.

Thank you, Wild Bill.

Thank you for letting me live.

Thank you, Wild Bill,

- for letting me... - [Bill laughs] Oh, shit.

- You're really gonna do it. - [group laughing]

Oh, I'm just fuckin' with you. Thank you.

[group laughing]

Okay.

- [grunts] - [people gasp]

[patron] Easy, easy.

[tense music playing]

[Mason] Let me ask you something.

As an outlaw, what would you say you fear the most?

Mmm.

I'd say dumb fuckin' questions are at the top of the list.

Death?

No. Died once already.

Drowned in the Platte River.

Just out for a swim, were you?

A hundred miles working for General Crook.

Doc said I collapsed and died.

Fourteen days later, I wake up in the hospital.

Sounds like a miracle. [Spits]

Is that what you're gonna put in your book? Hmm?

A miracle?

Sure. Why not?

Miracle's just another word for dumb luck.

You don't believe in God?

You honestly think it'd make a difference if I did?

[Mason] I do.

- [door creaks] - My rifle.

It's Wild Bill.

Jack McCall blew his fuckin' brains out

- all over the saloon. - Bullshit.

I've seen it myself.

The undertaker's got his body already.

Let me out.

[gun clacks]

Now, I'm gonna go make sure he doesn't skip town.

You stay here and keep a look out.

- Are you sure you don't need... - Stay here.

[Abigail] Oh, shit. You really think

Rick knows Jack McCall killed Wild Bill Hickok?

Ooh. [Laughs]

Wild Bill shot my friend's uncle

outside of Promise, Nevada, without no provoking.

He got what was coming to him.

Maybe that's just God's way of evening things out.

- [laughs] - [Jane screams]

- Jane! Hey! - [grunting]

- [groans] - Oh, no, pretty face.

- [breathing heavily] - [keys jingle]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[laughs]

I saved your life.

Thank you very much.

[laughs] Oh. Ahem.

[grunts, laughs]

Ah, don't take it personal.

[grunts]

You know what I wish?

I wish it were me that had done it.

Could you imagine?

Me

The man who killed Wild Bill?

[laughs] Oh.

You're a dead man.

Oh, what was that?

[mumbles]

Come... come again?

[grunts]

[Lance] Okay, calm.

[mumbles]

- [giggles] - C-calm, calm, calm, calm now.

Okay.

[lock clinks]

- [Jane grunts] - [door squeaks]

- [Lance grunts] - [thuds]

Oh, rawr.

[Jane grunting]

- Night-night. - [keys jingle]

[Jane grunting]

- [Jane continues grunting] - [giggling]

[Mason sighs] You'll hang after trial.

Don't throw your life away.

What life?

- Jane! - [metal clanks]

[Abigail cheers]

She has got more grit

than a Texas tornado, don't she?

[keys jingle]

Fuck.

- [door creaks] - Now, when you put this part

in your little book, make sure you get my name right.

It's Abigail, with two "I's."

- [grunts] - Ooh!

You're a thoroughbred, aren't you, lawman? [Laughs]

[keys jingle, thud]

[Abigail] Mm.

[Mason] Ah, come on.

[people chattering]

[thunder rumbles]

[bottles rattling]

What you got there, hmm?

Whiskey, for the hotel.

[bottles clink]

[cork pops]

- Mm. - [bottles clink]

You seen Jack McCall?

No.

Do you know where maybe I could find him?

Last time he came through here, he stayed at the Stone Inn.

How about I come and see you tonight?

I don't think so.

It's gonna be real busy at the saloon.

[rain pattering]

I'll see you tonight.

[knife clinks]

- [deputy grunting] - [belt clinks]

Come on.

Where are they?

What happened to him?

Calamity Jane.

I left you ten minutes ago.

Keys?

[keys jingle]

[eerie music playing]

Hmm, won't be needing that.

Mmm.

Careful now. You're about to get in bed with the man

who killed frontier legend Wild Bill Hickok.

- [giggles] - [door slams]

You son of a bitch! [Grunts]

[both grunting]

- I will kill you! - [Jack shouts]

- [both grunting] - [crowd gasping]

[panting, grunting]

[Jane screaming]

- I got money. - You think this is about money?

[strained] Yeah, well, Wild Bill's dead.

- [Jane grunting] - [crowd chattering]

- Hey. - [Jane screams]

- Hey, hey, hey, goddamn it. - [gunshot]

- [groans] - [Jane grunting]

- [Jack groans] - [gun cocks]

- Get outta my way! - You gonna execute me

- like you did Sheriff Griggs? - Jack shot Griggs.

Step aside, Deputy. He dies, here and now.

He'll stand trial and he'll be hung.

He shot Bill.

Just let me help you. Please, just put down the gun.

I gotta take you back in.

You say you didn't kill the sheriff?

Well, you can tell that to the judge.

[Jane] He shot Bill.

[Jack grunting]

- [tense music playing] - [breathes heavily]

[crowd gasps and screams]

- [man 1] Where'd she go? - [man 2] That way, that way!

[crowd chattering]

Fuck.

- [man] Alright, come on now. - [horse neighs]

[man] Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [woman] Come on, this way. - Move.

Hey, look who it is. We came to break you out.

Sorry to ruin it for you, baby brother. Waited as long as I could.

What the hell are we supposed to do now?

Well, first I'm gonna get me a drink

and then I'm sure we'll figure something out, won't we?

- [horse snorts] - Come on now, let's go.

- Whoo-hoo! - [horse snorts]

[gentle music playing]

[horse snorts]

Surveyor told me this place belongs to Wild Bill Hickok.

Ran into a couple ranchers this morning.

Said they saw you heading up this way.

Jane?

I'm coming in.

I don't wanna shoot you

[gun cocks] but I will.

- [door thuds] - [gentle bell music playing]

[lamp squeaks]

[ominous music playing]

[trapdoor squeaks]

[gentle music playing]

[sniffles]

[bottle thuds]

[crickets chirping]

- [door shuts] - [sighing]

[wood rattles]

[gun cocks] - [Jane] Make a noise and your dead

before you hit the ground.

You the gravedigger?

Yes, ma'am.

Do I need to worry about you

trying to stuff me in a box?

I don't do the killings around here.

He's

he's one of them?

Bill?

This one here.

[footsteps tapping]

Oh, you cleaned him up real nice.

You knew him?

Clothes. Where are his clothes?

Uh, we burned 'em. That's... that's... that's tradition.

[Jane] Did he have anything on him?

No, ma'am. Not by the time he got to me, he didn't.

Can you give us a moment?

- [Jane sniffles] - [footsteps tapping]

[gun clacks]

[sniffles]

[softly] I love you too.

Can you do me a favor, gravedigger?

On his tombstone,

can you write

that he was a decent man?

Was he?

He wanted to be.

That's got to account for something, right?

May I ask who's makin' the request?

His wife.

- [fire crackling] - [coyotes howling]

[harmonica plays]

[knife scraping]

You know, I've been thinking about what I'd do

if I had found myself a gold mine.

Yeah, you're thinking, were you?

Well, I figured first thing I'd do is,

I'd buy myself a brand-new Winchester,

- some land... - [knife scraping]

and a whole goddamn lot of them fancy Scottish cattle

like Old Mr. Foster had.

What'd you do, Abigail?

If you had a gold mine, I'd kill you and take all your gold.

- No. - [laughs]

That's not what I was saying.

West's all one big rotten fuckin' drain.

[knife scraping]

- [gun cocks] - You sure he's coming?

Uh, he said he was coming, yeah.

And he said he was gonna pay us 400 a piece

to take him to see his brother?

Yeah, that's what he said, 400.

- Five hundred. - Whoa.

[tense music plays]

Holy shit.

If it ain't Jack McCall himself.

This is the man you was talking about?

Uh-huh. That's him.

[laughs]

You're fixing to pay us 500 a piece

to take you to see your brother?

- That's right. - [Abigail] Why?

Passing through the Badlands

and need some protection, is all.

You interested?

If you got the gold, we are.

There's a thousand in gold right there.

My brother will give you the rest when you take me to him.

- Mm. Is that right? - [clicks tongue]

- [tense music playing] - [coyotes howling]

Put 'em down. We leave at first light.

- Come on. - [horse snorts]

And I swear to God, brother, if you play the harmonica one more time,

I'm gonna fuckin' kill you.

[knife scraping]

[hammer banging]

- [hammer thuds] - [undertaker exhales]

What happens now?

Now...

I'm gonna kill Jack McCall.

You know, a

a man wiser than me once said,

if you go to embark on a quest for revenge,

you better build two graves.

One for them and one for yourself.

That just sounds like a lot of fuckin' digging.

You even know where he's headed?

I hear his brother runs a bunch of gold mines out east.

Well, the only way to reach those gold mines out east

is to travel through the Badlands.

Gangs covering that territory.

Scalp-hunting ex-Confederate devils

that make the savages look like English royalty.

Why do I get the funny feeling you might know another way?

'Cause I might.

What'll it cost me?

- Whatever you think's fair. - How does it work?

We just go right on through.

Right on through the ex-Confederate devils

that make the savages look like English royalty?

[laughs]

Undertaker gets a free pass.

I gotta go through there to pick up the product.

I really am gonna kill Jack McCall,

and you better not get in my way.

You pull the trigger, I'll build the coffin.

[carriage rattling]

[thunder rumbles]

Calamity Jane is wanted for the death of Sheriff Griggs.

Jack McCall is wanted for the death of Wild Bill Hickok.

Two fugitives, three bodies,

and one of them our own.

Hell of a night, even for Deadwood.

This is a hunt. We are bringing them back to the hangman.

If we don't kill them ourselves, well we don't let 'em go either.

We bring 'em back here for justice.

As the acting sheriff, I have been authorized

to deputize you men to carry out the law of this land.

Will nobody here stand for Sheriff Briggs?

Anyone else?

You barely look old enough to drink.

You know how to wield an iron?

No age requirement on doing what's right.

You know how to use that thing?

I've been shooting since I was nine.

Anyone else?

Three of y'all. That's your posse?

I saw Calamity Jane. She's with the undertaker,

and they're headed for the Badlands.

- [tense music swells] - [indistinct chatter]

Well, get some shut-eye. We ride at first light.

[thunder rumbles]

[wind whistling]

[eerie music playing]

- [horse neighs] - [panting]

Find it helps keep the devil at bay,

at least until morning.

Devil ain't real.

Probably God neither.

The only thing that's real is pain.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news,

but there's a long fucking line of people ahead of you

with a bone to pick with the Almighty.

[Jane] Yeah.

What'd you lose that's got you so pissed off at God?

[fire crackling]

The fire's a lot less merciful than a bullet.

[fire crackling continues]

Even if you get your revenge,

you're gonna be dealing with the pain.

You can trust me on that.

[ominous music plays]

[train whistle blows]

[horse hooves clomping]

[gentle violin music playing]

[horses snorting]

- [undertaker] Whoa. - [horses snorting]

- [gun clicks] - No.

It's the way out here.

It's the way of the world, really.

Welcome to the Badlands.

[horses neigh]

[tense music playing]

Whoa.

[shouting in distance]

[guns blasting faintly]

Looks like it's time to play dead.

[chattering in distance]

[birds chirping]

Hiya.

[carriage rattles]

[tense music playing]

Whoa, chief. That's far enough.

State your business.

Got a body to deliver to Willow Creek.

Gun or the gold. What'll it be?

[guns cock]

Don't mind them.

They get a little excited

seeing fresh heads roll in.

What do you think a scalp like that will fetch in market, boys?

Ain't enough.

What do you mean, sir?

I mean, it ain't fuckin' enough.

Rusty said it was two pieces.

Oh, Rusty said?

Rusty.

Can you hear me, Rusty?

Rusty?

Shit, I don't think he can hear much of anything anymore.

Look, all I'm fixing to do is deliver a man to his loved ones.

You're lucky we're out here looking out for you.

You need roughnecks like us out here

protecting your interests.

'Cause these Badlands become lawless,

filled with nothing but fuckin' savages.

[thumps]

[guns click]

You got a live one back the?

Sometimes the pine warps.

- [box thumping] - [breathing heavily]

Let's take a look at that fancy woodwork.

[sneezes]

[gun clicks]

[roughnecks grunting]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[groans]

- Oh, shit. Hey. - [groans]

- [grunts] - [Jane] Hey.

[grunts]

[undertaker grunts]

- [gun clacks] - [groans]

- Thanks. - [undertaker coughs]

[strained] Oh, shit.

[strained breathing]

[train whistle blows]

[gentle music playing]

[grunts]

Here, okay?

Why are you doing this?

I need a ride.

Bullshit.

It's 'cause of this.

Well, don't go telling nobody.

- [undertaker chuckles] - Let me see.

[groans]

Wait, just stop moving.

- I'm trying to stop the... - Okay, okay.

Just let me enjoy the stars.

- [gentle music continues] - [fire crackling]

[groans]

[gentle music swells]

I shouldn't have brought you here.

I always thought when this moment came,

I'd be scared, but...

[light chuckle] I'm not.

Shh.

Save your strength.

All we can do is try, you know?

That's all we got.

It's just knowing that

when the end comes at some point

in your life, you

try to do some good.

Well,

maybe if you're lucky, the good outweighs the bad.

You know, they say I swam 100 miles in freezing river?

- I heard that. - [chuckles, sniffles]

Well, I...

I, uh, I never swam the Platte.

Technically, I did, because I fell in drunk, damn near drowned.

[both laugh]

Well, I mean, you still got time.

[both laugh]

From what I heard though, it's pretty fuckin' cold.

[both laugh]

Yeah.

Oh

[owl hoots] - [crickets chirping]

[twigs snap]

[men grunt]

[gun clicks]

- [ominous music playing] - [chuckles]

[man grunts]

[grunting]

[gentle music playing]

[match sparks]

[thuds]

[fire roars]

[gentle music swells]

[tense music playing]

[horse snorts]

[bird calls]

[horse snorts]

Whoa.

[horse neigh, snorts]

[flies buzzing]

She here?

Nope.

Tracks are fresh.

She's close.

- [birds squawking] - [water rustling]

[birds chirping]

Whoa.

[rain pattering]

[horse snorting]

[door thud]

[man whistling]

[man whistling]

- [gun cocks] - Miss me? Please don't.

I shoot you, it's your brains all over my pretty face.

- [gun clicks] - There we go.

Nice and slow.

- [chuckles] - [grunts]

Hi there.

[Abigail breathing heavily]

Well, that's disappointing.

[ominous music playing]

You got Jack McCall in there?

I do.

You gonna give him to me?

I'm not.

- Why? - Well, for one thing, attitude.

I'm just kiddin'.

He has gold. Lots and lots of gold.

Well, you know, some things are more important than gold.

[laughs] You're funny.

- [Mason] Hands where I can see them. - [gunshot]

- [both grunting] - [Jane] Damn it.

[intense music playing]

[heavy breathing]

We got the place surrounded.

We're here for the outlaw, Jack McCall,

and Calamity Jane.

Both wanted for murder. Nobody has to die here today.

A shot like that, Wild Bill'd still be alive.

I'ma kill you, Jack.

You kill him, you hang for sure.

There's two types of people, Jack!

Runners and gunners.

Which one are you?

[groans]

[Abigail] Harper, we'll get them from behind.

[grunts]

Take me to my fuckin' brother.

Get your hands off me. Get up.

[chains jingling]

[guns cock]

I'm bringing you in.

Jack killed your sheriff.

Killed a lot of people in my time, never claimed that I didn't kill one that I did.

Jack pulled that trigger,

not me.

[guns click]

- [gunshots in distance] - You got any more bullets?

How'd that bullet taste, shit bag?

It's just a scratch.

- What happened? - Three of them took off, on horseback.

- We got one pinned in here. - [gunshot]

[door creaks]

[gun cocks and fires]

You gonna make us come all the way up there and get ya?

Taking you in, dead or alive.

[gunshots continue]

No one takes a Hollan brother alive.

[gunshots]

[grunting, groaning]

[scoffs]

[gun cocks]

[gasping, grunting]

- Where's Jack? - I don't know where Jack is.

- [screams] - [Jane] Really?

Yeah. [Grunts]

'Cause that feels like information you might have shared.

[whimpering]

I keep digging around in there, and gangrenes gonna get it.

Even if you live, somebody's gonna have to lop the fucker off.

Okay, okay, okay! Okay, they headed just north of here.

There's a camp. [Panting]

It's Jack's brother's new mines.

Where?

[screams] God! God! God, I'll tell you! I'll tell you on the map.

I'll tell you on the map.

Jesus Christ. Just... Just stop. Just stop.

- [crickets chirping] - [owl hooting]

[fire crackling]

Fire's warmer here. That's all.

[Jane sniffs]

[grunts]

Can you tell me what's taking you so long to write that book?

What's it about?

[birds calling]

An outlaw tryin' to do right.

[scoffs] Good luck with that.

Yeah. Luck ain't got nothing to do with it.

Maybe your problem is that everybody's got

some good and evil in him.

[coyote howls in distance]

I ain't gotta worry about you tomorrow, do I?

Bring back Jack in handcuffs, not a coffin.

What if it was your wife who he shot in the back?

- I ain't got a wife. - Mm.

Not anymore.

What happened?

Seven years ago when I was away coverin' the war for Harper's,

gang of bandits ambushed our town.

[gentle music playing]

That's when I gave up writing and took off for the law.

You didn't think about riding out and killing him?

I tried to find 'em.

All I found was the bottom of a bottle.

Is that why you picked up the badge?

Revenge?

I was drinking myself to death when I found myself in debt.

I woke up one morning staring straight into the eyes of a killer.

I must have pissed off someone.

He pulled the trigger.

Gun misfired.

Right there and then, I decided it was a sign from my wife.

To do good.

[eerie music playing]

[horses neigh, snort]

- [water rustling] - [eerie music continues]

[horses snorting]

I'm going.

Somethin' doesn't feel right.

Now why the hell you go and say a thing like that? Hmm?

That's bad luck.

- We make our own luck. - Mm-hmm.

Well, I like her.

She got spunk.

She's got something.

[thunder rumbles]

[tense music sting]

[gun clicks]

[suspenseful music playing]

Mine's not far. Probably up there.

[lock clinks]

[Jane] Gatling gun.

[dramatic music playing]

Shit.

There's too many of 'em.

- There's just more targets. - Drop 'em.

I said drop it.

You're gonna have to make me.

What are we waitin' for? Stop wastin' time.

- Let's just finish 'em. - Ah-ah-ah.

We're not savages here.

Let's hear what these good folk have to say

before we go about ending anyone's days.

No, fuck that.

I'm 'a shoot 'em myself.

You will do not hi' of the sort.

[sighs] Now,

how can we help you, Sheriff?

You can hand over

that murderin' son of a bitch.

Well,

you see, the problem is

you're right.

He is a son of a bitch.

But that bitch was our mother,

which makes this particular murderin' piece of shit my brother.

[Mason] The man you are harborin' is wanted

by the federal government for the murder of Bill Hickok

and Sheriff Charles Griggs.

Well, now, it appears we're at a bit of an impasse.

What you mean?

These lands here aren't under the jurisdiction

of any government, federal or otherwise.

They're mine.

He needs to stand trial for what he did.

I understand. I really do.

But I'm afraid I cannot let him hang.

You see, Jack here, ahem, tends to our Mama's grave

for some reason I...

I have never been able to fuckin' fathom.

He was always her favorite.

[guns click]

I'll kill him.

- They knocked up my leg. - Mm-hmm. It hurt?

Mm-hmm. [Chuckles]

- [knife shears] - [grunts]

You led 'em right to us, you dumb fuck.

- [grunts] - [thuds]

- [Wade grunts] - [Abigail] Oh.

It appears your negotiating position has changed.

Why don't you go ahead, drop those weapons.

Mm-hmm.

[gun clicks]

[horses whinny]

[man grunts]

Get behind the wagon!

[horse neighs]

- [grunts] - Go!

[grunts, groans]

What are you doin', kid?

No!

- [gunshot] - [grunts]

I got you.

[Mason screams]

I'll hold their fire. You head for the horses.

- [gunshots] - Fuck.

[groans]

[grunts]

- [Abigail grunts] - Woo-wee!

She got more fight in her than all you spineless dogs!

[rain pattering]

[Jane groans]

[Abigail] Where's that lawman?

Curled up somewhere with shit in his drawers?

- [grunts] - [yells in pain]

- [laughs] - [coughs]

[low grunt]

[Jane murmurs]

[Jack grunting]

[Jane sniffs]

[sighs]

She was destruction

given form and purpose.

[Jane breathing heavily]

You got spirit, girl.

I could use someone like you.

You could use a bath.

[Abigail laughs]

That's not very becoming of a lady.

[Jane grunts]

[Jane coughs]

Mmm. [Exhales]

[Jane panting]

That deed ain't in your name.

Yeah, well, you see,

that's where having a relationship

with a Homestead Act magistrate comes in handy.

That stolen property belongs to me.

He who holds the deed, holds the land.

I'm gonna enjoy spending time with my brand-new land

courtesy of Wild Bill Hickok.

Or, hell, maybe I'll just burn the whole thing to the ground.

[tense music playing]

I'm gonna enjoy killing you.

This is how we take the West.

We take,

we kill,

we dance with savages and wallows.

[groans, inhales deeply]

I'll tell you what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna take my deed back,

and I'm gonna kill you

and your brother.

And then I'm gonna dance on your fucking grave.

[laughter]

What are you laughing at?

You shot her husband in the back.

So what?

[Jack grunts]

[Jack groans]

I want some time with her.

[Baron] Don't be long.

Gotta get that gold over that mountain before snowfall.

[Abigail hisses]

[Jack grunts]

Jane.

[birds chirping]

This is it, gentlemen.

This is why we came out west.

Yes, it is true.

We lost some good men.

But that just means more share for us.

[group snickers]

We got ourselves one hell of a haul here, boys.

[laughs]

However,

Uncle Sam knows it's out here, same as us.

So that means we gotta take it quick as we can.

[tense music plays]

Well, what are you waiting for?

Oh, and please, mind the dynamite.

It's fuckin' expensive.

[Abigail] Look at you.

Calamity fuckin' Jane.

Defenseless. [Laughs]

You know, you and I, we're the same.

We're nothing alike.

You stabbed your own fuckin' brother.

[gasps]

You made me.

I didn't make you do shit.

Mmm. [Exhales twice]

You and I could've been friends.

Really?

Sure. Why not?

[laughs]

Oh.

You're too good, is that it?

No, I'm not good.

Not even close.

[laughs]

Wild Bill, gone.

Acres of beautiful country, gone.

Freedom, gone.

You ever shut the fuck up?

The legend of Calamity Jane,

it's gonna be forgotten like a speck of dust in the desert.

But it's gonna live on right here.

You see, you're gonna be the one adding to my legend

right here.

[laughs]

Shut up or kill me, you fuckin' imbecile.

[Jane grunts]

[Bill] Hey, Jane, get up.

Get up.

Ain't nothin' left. [Cries]

I'm tired.

So you just gonna lay there

and die in the fuckin' weeds?

[sighs deeply]

There she is.

We were gonna get married.

Gonna live out our days

fat and happy on a beautiful ranch

at the edge of some God-forsaken little town.

Were you telling the truth?

[Bill] I only ever told you the truth.

And the truth is, right now [sniffs]

if you don't wake up,

you're gonna die.

Come on, stand up.

Stand up. Come on, there you go. [Grunts]

Now, okay.

Tell me what your name is.

What's your name?

What's your name?

[Abigail] Jane.

Calamity Jane.

[eerie music continues]

[Abigail] Calamity Jane.

[groans, coughs]

Are you still here?

[grunts, spits]

[panting]

I grew up with four brothers,

and I got three left on account of you.

You see around here, we like to make things right.

Even, you know?

[laughs] An eye for an eye.

No, I didn't touch your brother, I...

I just fucked up his leg a little.

[both laugh]

I might let you keep one of your eyes.

That way you can still make a decent wage

at the whore house.

You deserve your revenge. I get that.

But there's something you should know about me.

Hmm?

I can't work at a whore house.

And why is that?

I'm married.

- [punch smacks] - [Abigail grunts]

[both shouting]

I'll get you!

[both grunting and shouting]

[Jane screams]

[both panting and grunting]

- [Jane screams] - [Abigail laughs]

[both grunting]

- [knife clinks] - [Jane shouts]

[both panting]

[Abigail whimpers, laughs]

You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

Missed me.

[grunts]

[both yelling]

[both grunting and shouting]

[both panting, grunting]

- [laughs] Oh, Calamity Jane. - [coughs]

- You know what I think? - [coughing, panting]

I think I'm the real Calamity.

A more powerful version,

and the creature that's lurking inside of you.

Well, guess what, Jane? That monster's here,

and it's gonna tear you fuckin' apart!

What the fuck are you talking about?

[Abigail screams]

- [thuds] - [grunts, pants]

- [blood squirts] - [Jane pants, gasps]

[Jane grunts, pants]

[grunting]

[panting]

- [gun clicks] - [shouts]

What the hell are you doing here?

- [gun clicks] - Rescuing you.

Timing could use some work.

Where the hell are they?

There's a bunch of 'em with Jack and Baron up in the mine.

We're never gonna be able to get 'em all. We need some help.

Your last posse left up to be desired on the numbers side. Do you think you could get more?

- I'm not so sure. - [horse neighs]

I have an idea.

Let's pick up the pace, boys.

I want this all packed and loaded

before sunrise tomorrow.

Come on now, let's move it.

- [miners chattering faintly] - [horses neighing]

- [carriage rattling] - [horses snorting]

[tense music playing]

Baron. You seeing this?

- Whoa. - [horses snorting]

What do you want, lawman?

I'm here to arrest Jack McCall,

murder of Wild Bill Hickok.

You gonna come peacefully?

I admire the commitment, I really do.

However, you appear to be a bit shorthanded,

and I am afraid we're gonna need that wagon.

Last chance, Baron.

- [tense music continues] - [clicks tongue]

I like the odds on my side.

I think I can hear those odds!

[gunshots blasting]

Deputy here made me promise to give you a chance to change your minds.

[men grunt]

[gunfire]

[miners shout]

[horses neigh]

I'm here to arrest Jack McCall

for the murder of Wild Bill Hickok.

Whatcha say, Baron?

[tense music continues]

Baron?

- Take him. - [Jack] No!

They'll hang me.

They'll hang me!

They'll hang me!

- [gunshots] - [grunting]

[horses neigh]

[breathing shakily]

[tense music playing]

[gunshots]

You trying to bring this whole mine down?

If I die, I'm taking you with me.

[bullet ricochets]

Jane!

[Jane] Guess we found out you're a runner,

huh, Jack?

[cave rumbling]

[Jane grunts]

[Jack grunts]

[gun clicks]

[gun clicks]

[grunts, pants]

[panting]

[Jack] Fuck.

- [gunshot] - [glass shatters]

[Jane] You feel that?

[gun cocks]

That cold trickling up your spine.

[glass shatters]

That's death comin' for you.

[both panting]

That's me.

Look... I have money.

I've heard that one before.

This is what you want, right? Right?

Take it.

[gun rattles]

What I want...

What I want

is what you took from me.

I want my life back.

My husband.

My Bill!

[Mason] Jane.

Don't.

He's gonna hang.

I'll make certain.

What difference does it make?

It matters to me. You're better than him.

[gun clicks]

[gun clacks]

- [Jane shouts] - [Jack thuds]

[melancholic music playing]

Did you know it was empty?

[chains rattling]

[Jane] You make certain he pays for Bill.

'Cause if you don't, I'll be coming back.

There's room for one more.

Bet we could use somebody with grit.

No thanks.

So what you gonna do now,

Calamity Jane?

Ah, I think I'll try

just being Jane for a while.

This will make for one hell of a story, won't it?

I'll be on the lookout for that book of yours.

Well, I reckon it finally has a proper hero.

- [gentle music continues] - [horse snorts]

So you just let her go like that?

That really how it happened?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

But it sure does make for one hell of a story, doesn't it?

[bluegrass music playing]

[music ends]