Original subtitles

My name is Michael Westen.

I used to be a spy until--

- [ Man ] We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted. - [ Whistles ]

[ Michael Narrating ] When you're burned, you've got nothing--

no cash, no credit, no job history.

- You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. - Where am I?

Miami.

You do whatever work comes your way.

- You rely on anyone who's still talking to you-- - [ Laughs ]

- a trigger-happy ex-girlfriend-- - Should we shoot them?

an old friend who used to inform on you to the F.B.I.--

You know spies. Bunch of bitchy little girls.

- Family too-- - Hey, is that your mom again?

- if you're desperate. - Someone needs your help, Michael.

Bottom line: Until you figure out who burned you,

you're not going anywhere.

** [ Man Singing In Spanish ]

[ Michael Narrating ] Getting information is all about fitting in.

If you're hunting for intel in the Middle East, that means a beard and a djellaba.

If you're doing it on South Beach, you're probably wearing...

a swimsuit and flip-flops.

You think the sarong is too much? Suddenly, I'm feeling overdressed.

You look fine, Fi. Besides, we're here on business.

What is the big deal with this bomber?

If we looked for everyone who tried to kill you, we'd do nothing else.

I need to find out what this guy knows.

[ Fiona ] Well, if there's anyone in Miami who can track down a bomber,

it's our old friend Seymour here.

Hope he's still not mad about the face full of gunpowder last time we dropped by.

Well, he was pretty enchanted with you once upon a time.

Pretty enchanted with me? Yeah.

He showed it when he attacked me with a baseball bat.

Will you do my shoulders?

You know, Fi, if, uh--

if you wanna talk about what happened the other night--

There's nothing to talk about. We were just blowing off some steam, right?

We should go in.

** [ Hip-hop On Stereo ]

[ Michael Narrating ] When it comes to intelligence gathering,

you can't hold grudges.

The guy who hit you with a baseball bat yesterday...

could be an information source today.

Fi, you wanna take care of-- Yeah, I'll take care of Mr. Security over there...

while you say hello to Seymour.

- Hello, Seymour. - Security!

[ Guests Gasping ]

Nice goin', Jackass! You know, I learned a thing or two...

after the last time you kicked his ass. What's that?

When it comes to my personal security, I gotta take care of things myself.

[ Hammer Cocks ]

You got hollow points in there. Oh, you can tell just by looking--

No, I can't. But I can distract you long enough to take it.

Now, I just need help tracking someone down, Seymour. That's it.

You are such a badass. It's kind of awesome.

You need my help? Okay.

- One condition. You gotta teach me some of these moves. - Sure.

All right. What's everybody starin' at? This is a party.

I'm sorry, Mike. What are we doing again?

I need help tracking someone-- an explosives expert, Derek Poole.

Oh, right. A manhunt. I love it.

Okay, first, you're gonna have to front me some cash to spread around.

It opens doors. No? Okay.

I'll front you, because I know you're good for it.

But we are gonna have to be in constant dialogue, Mike, okay?

You and me, badasses in this together.

All right, Jackass, you see how they just laid you out again?

That is called teamwork, people.

And it is a beautiful thing. So, up and at 'em.

Hit the blender, make some smoothies.

You like mango? Mango.

Fi. Fi, I need a favor.

Uh, I need to put some money together.

Seymour said he'd front you. Yeah.

Seymour's not the type of guy I wanna owe money to long-term.

You wanna borrow money?

If you need cash, you can get a job like the rest of us.

I can't fill out a W-2. If the people who burned me...

find out I'm looking for a job, they'll wonder why I need money.

I just passed on a gig for some art dealer.

Someone's stealing paper clips or something dull. Pay's good.

You take a job under a cover I.D., no one needs to know.

You're the best. Mm-hmm.

I expect a commission, Michael.

Mike, do you have to work with Seymour? I mean, the guy's unstable.

He's connected, and he doesn't mix well with government types.

Do you have my new cover I.D.? Yes. You're Miles Parker.

Background in corporate espionage. You're a desk jockey.

Perfect for a cushy office gig.

Looks good, Sam. [ Cell Phone Rings ]

Yeah, Fi, looks like I'm good to go for that art dealer job.

Thanks. I'll call you later. Maybe we can grab dinner.

[ Beeps ] So you two are just grabbing dinner?

Just to debrief. Right. Debrief.

[ Michael Narrating ] There are a lot of advantages...

to taking on a new identity when you take a new job.

You can tailor your résumé to the position,

and it gives you a lot of flexibility.

You just have to get used to the idea of lying to everyone you meet.

- I'm Miles Parker. - Hi, Miles Parker.

- I'm here to see Scott Chandler. - Mr. Parker.

You came highly recommended. Scott Chandler.

Welcome to the gallery. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Can I get you something to drink?

Coffee? Water? Scotch and soda? I'm fine.

[ Beeping ]

Right this way.

Quite the résumé. Wall Street, Silicon Valley, D.C.

Anyplace where a little information goes a long way, I've been there to protect it.

Any P.I. experience? A P.I. license comes with a lot of privacy concerns.

There's a chance anything a private investigator finds could wind up in court.

Yeah, well, I prefer to resolve this quickly and quietly as possible.

Quick and quiet-- That's what I do. Tell me about your problem.

A few weeks ago, I noticed unusual activity on the computers.

Files moved, log-ins at odd times.

And then, I started hearing a buzzing sound in my office phone.

I checked it out. Infinity transmitter in its base.

Saw a lot of that in the dot-coms.

Whoever installed it didn't isolate the circuit. You're hearing a little feedback.

I wanna know who planted this.

Any idea what they're looking for?

I sell about $30 million worth of art a year.

It could be thieves, buyers looking to lowball a bid, other art dealers.

Too many possibilities. My business, my reputation...

depends on information remaining private. Let's take a look around.

Now, the gallery's under 24-hour video surveillance.

Can't get through here without someone seeing it.

What about the executive offices?

There's no cameras, but all the offices are keypad access only.

No one gets in here without me knowing.

Well, somebody has. Does anybody have a habit of working late?

No later than I do. I'm the first one in, last one out.

So what do you think, Mr. Parker? Think you can find whoever's doing this?

I'll see what I can do. I need a floor plan of the office. [ Cell Phone Ringing ]

I'll have something by the end of today. Excuse me.

[ Seymour ] Alpha, it's Bravo. Over. Hello, Seymour.

Chalk one up for the brotherhood of badass, buddy. I got good news.

You gotta get over here.

** [ Woman Vocalizing ]

So I asked around about that explosives guy you were looking for.

He does demo for the city, but he moonlights for the Russian mob.

This is their hangout. He's their go-to guy when something's gotta go boom.

Any idea where he's hiding? No.

Seymour, you said you had good news. No, I do. He's got a girlfriend.

And they're hot and heavy. They can't be apart for more than a couple of days...

without some together time, you know what I'm saying?

I know what you're saying. I bet you do.

You and Fi-- My God. A molten hot action couple.

I can't even imagine what it must be like in the bedroom. Just--

[ Imitates Explosion ] Don't do that.

Right? Am I right? We're not together.

Are you serious? Oh, my God. You guys are like the-the--

Bomber's girlfriend. Stay focused. There she is.

Don't point. Um--

Bianca. She works here. Her shift starts in, like, 10 minutes.

Nice work, Seymour.

[ Seymour ] Oh, the best part is, my jackass bodyguard,

he's gonna put a tracker under her car so you can follow her right to him.

He's gonna put a tracking device under her car in front of the Russian mob?

Oh, he-- But it's cool. I told him, just pretend like he's tying his shoe.

He's gonna tip her off that someone's watching.

Keep your eyes on Bianca, and no more moves on your own.

[ Michael Narrating ] To protect someone without blowing your cover,

you have to come up with a story-- one that explains what they're doing,

explains what you're doing and gets everyone out in one piece.

Hey, you forgot your keys. Wait.

My keys? No, I-- You forgot your keys on my wife's dresser.

Yeah. Yeah, that remind you?

Of course, not everyone is a born storyteller.

Go with it. Run. But Seymour said to plant a tracker.

[ Laughs ]

And don't let me catch you near my wife again!

I gotta tell you, this corporate espionage stuff is kind of fun.

You know, there's no guns, no explosions.

It's like going on the kiddy rides at the carnival.

[ Chuckling ] So, uh,

any idea how our spy got his way into the art dealer's office?

I know how I'd do it.

Cleaning crew comes around midnight...

from the service entrance here, away from the gallery cameras.

Well, that's good, because then there's no door codes either...

'cause the cleaning crew opens them for you.

Get in, find a hiding place, let everyone clear out.

And you got the place to yourself.

[ Fiona Sighs ]

As stimulating as all this is, I still don't see why you called me over here, Michael.

It always helps to bounce ideas, Fi.

Uh, I'm gonna grab another beer and, uh, drink it on the balcony.

Is this about the other night?

Is this about me not staying for breakfast?

Is it so strange that I would want your opinion on a job?

Look me in the eye and tell me that's all this is.

I have to go see Chandler.

You think he came in with the cleaning crew.

Can't believe I was so stupid. Whoever did this didn't come through the gallery.

There's a chance the parking lot cameras got him at the service entrance.

I'll call the property manager, set up a time for you to stop by their office.

You really think sweeping my office is necessary?

I don't think a phone bug was the only thing your spy left you.

[ Beeping ] I've got dinner with a client.

You let me know if you find something.

[ Michael Narrating ] A bug, in its simplest form,

is just a microphone attached to a radio.

Effective, but easy to detect with a frequency scanner.

[ Whirring ]

A more subtle device is the wireless key logger circuit.

Nearly undetectable and easy to install,

it transmits every password you type into the keyboard.

All surveillance devices, though, share a weakness-- they're machines.

When machines break, somebody has to fix them.

More spies get caught changing batteries and fixing wires than any other single activity.

[ Beeps ] Mr. Chandler.

Yeah. I'm gonna need to work late tonight.

Mr. Parker.

You're the receptionist here, right? What is it?

Uh, Melanie.

Melanie. Right. We need to have a conversation.

Okay. I-I-I know this looks crazy,

but, um, I can explain.

Melanie!

Melanie.

Melanie, stop. Stop. Whatever you're up to,

it's not worth stabbing me with a letter opener.

Don't tell Chandler! He'll kill me.

Chandler? Yeah, that sounds a little hard-core for an art dealer.

You don't understand.

He killed my father.

My father was J.D. Blake.

The painter? Wow.

How about that? [ Chuckles ]

Well, Veronica's really into pop art.

You know, you could stand getting out to a few museums every so often, Mike.

Chandler was his art dealer.

Trouble started over a painting called Lady in White.

Bids of, like, five, seven million were coming in before he even finished it.

My dad's health was failing.

But Chandler just kept pressuring him to finish it.

Dad got sick of it, said that he was gonna get a new dealer.

Ooh, that probably stung Chandler pretty good.

The commission on seven million, that's a lot of money.

One month later, someone broke into my dad's loft, beat him to death...

and burned down his studio.

Lady in White was reported destroyed.

Cops called it a burglary gone bad.

You think Chandler was behind it?

And he never put it together that you're J.D. Blake's daughter?

I grew up with my mom in New York.

I didn't even know who my dad was until about a year ago.

We talked on the phone for a couple of months.

I never got to meet him in person.

When I heard that Lady in White was being moved on the black market,

I came down and got a job with Chandler.

I like your heart, Melanie, but, you know, that painting could be anywhere.

You get caught looking for it, you're dead.

I gotta prove that Chandler's involved. His security's good.

I thought that I would get him with that key logger thing.

But I need more access to his files.

Melanie, I'm supposed to check the security footage from the service entrance tomorrow.

The same one you used.

You told him? Look, if he sees me--

I'll make sure he doesn't, provided your story checks out.

My story?

Uh, don't worry about it. We'll check into it.

** [ Men Singing In Spanish ]

Yo, Mike. Mikey. Looks like Melanie was telling the truth.

Had to pull a few favors, but I was able to get my hands on that.

[ Michael ] An apartment lease from 1985.

Yep. [ Chuckles ]

Check that out. J.D. Blake's signature right next to Melanie's mom's.

Little loft in Soho. The math adds up, Mike.

She's his daughter. All right.

Give her a call, tell her I'll help her out.

But tell Melanie she has to stop spying. I'll handle it.

[ Michael Narrating ] To make a magnet powerful enough...

to wipe a security camera tape, you need a strong power supply.

A wall outlet will do nicely if there's one available.

But if you need something more portable, a car battery works in a pinch.

Of course, you have to be careful to use a heavy-gauge wire...

if you don't want a fiery explosion that covers you in battery acid.

But do it right, and you've got a magnet powerful enough...

to wipe any magnetic media you can manage to get close to.

Mr. Chandler said you were coming by.

You had a break-in? Something like that.

We keep all the footage backed up on the hard drive there.

Should go back about six months.

If you can lay off just the last few weeks to DVD, I can go through 'em.

Sure. Or I can do V.H.S., not that anybody has those anymore.

It's, uh, not coming up.

What? What's wrong? How do you mean?

[ Tapping Keyboard ]

It's not possible. The drives-- they're wiped.

The footage-- It's all gone.

I better tell Chandler about this right now.

You got a serious problem, much more serious than you led me to believe.

- Now, I need to know-- - Just slow down. Just--

You're saying the footage was erased. I mean, could it be a screw-up on the machine?

I know what it looks like when a machine screws up,

and I know what it looks like when someone is erasing their tracks.

I mean, how could anyone possibly do that?

A crooked security guard, a hacker.

Hell, for all I know,

it could've been some guy walking in with a-- an electromagnet.

The point is, he's a professional.

You're the security expert. What do I do about it?

I gotta start with your computers. I gotta go through everything.

I gotta see if your systems have been breached. Oh, yeah.

My computer files? No, no, no. That's private information.

Do you want me to find this guy with one hand tied behind my back?

I mean, are you hoping he walks through that door, stands in front of you and says,

"Hi. I'm your spy"? [ Chuckling ]

Call me when you're serious.

[ Michael Narrating ] When you're playing the role of spy-hunter...

and the person you're hunting is yourself,

the trail of evidence can lead anywhere you say it does.

Wait!

You really think access to the computers will help you find him?

And no one can create more fear,

more paranoia than the spy-hunter.

I hope so. But I'm gonna be honest with you.

When you're dealing with someone this good,

it could get a lot worse before it gets better.

So I gave Chandler's encrypted files a deep tissue massage.

We got his whole life here. Anything about the Lady in White?

If he has it, he hasn't moved it yet,

'cause there's no big cash movements, and he hasn't been doing much offshore.

Well, there's gotta be something, Sam. There's something, all right.

The week Melanie's dad died,

Chandler's calendar had a bunch of blank spots.

So I cross-referenced that with the phone records, came up with a guy.

Jacob Orr, a so-called security consultant.

He did a stint for manslaughter. Chandler's wet work guy.

- If I'm a betting man. - You wanna make a new friend?

You can take Fi. Oh, boy. You sure know how to sweeten the pot, Mike.

Hey, uh, speaking of Fi, what was that whole business at the loft?

You know, with the weird energy?

Oh, no, Mike. Tell me you didn't.

You did, didn't you? You did.

What? No. I don't know what you're talking about. What?

How many times do you have to touch the flame until you figure out that it burns?

You gonna help with the job or not?

Of course. But I object to the fact that you wanted me to work with her...

without telling me that you were doing a little booty call.

Check.

[ Slurping ]

[ Man ] Oh, yeah. Thank you very much.

[ Exhales ]

That's our boy. Mmm.

Bigger in person. Mmm. Recently divorced.

Lives here at the hotel.

He spends a good chunk of his time bouncing in and out of rehab.

[ Chuckles ] Looks like he's ready for another visit.

You sure you're up for this?

Planting a bug in a cell phone.

You think I can't get a guy to go up to his room?

No, I'd say you have a gift for getting men to make bad choices.

- Michael told you. - He didn't have to.

Well, don't look at me. He started it.

Fi, Mr. Orr is waiting.

[ Laughing ] [ Michael Narrating ] For a female operative,

picking a guy up at a bar is harder than it might seem.

Most men have a sense for when a pickup is going too well.

If it's too easy, they get suspicious.

If it's too hard, they move on.

Uh-uh. Are you serious? My ex was from Marstown.

Your ex? That means you're single now.

[ Chuckling ] Now, that's a leading question.

How's about I buy you another drink? Mmm.

I really shouldn't. Oh, you should.

Or, uh, I could make you a drink in my room.

[ Michael Narrating ] Once an operative has a guy on the hook,

she needs backup to make sure things don't go too far.

The proper sedative for cocktail hour ensures an early evening.

Chloral hydrate is a mild but effective choice.

It'll do the trick... After.

but only if the target's interested in drinking it.

Hey, hey. Hey! What do you think you're doin'?

If he's not, you have to induce unconsciousness some other way.

Not with this shirt on.

I wanna see these big muscles. Mmm.

[ Groans ]

- [ Thud ] - [ Door Handle Rattling ]

- [ Banging On Door ] - You got somebody outside?

You settin' me up, bitch? [ Groans ]

Oh, come on!

What?

[ Knocking ] Where's Michael?

Make yourself right at home.

Where is he? He's out getting some yogurt. Why? What's going on?

That security footage he erased with the magnet,

Chandler paid to have the drive sent out to be rebuilt.

Okay, relax. That'll take a while.

Reconstructing data stripped off a hard drive is kind of like...

putting a shredded document back together again, only different.

We're running out of time, okay? By the time he's done, I'm dead. We're gettin' close, Melanie.

Chandler hired a guy to do his dirty work. We put a bug in his phone.

This is what we heard. I'm telling you, Chandler.

The bitch attacked me. She had backup.

[ Chandler ] It was probably just a robbery.

[ Orr ] A two-man team to steal $40? I'm serious!

If somebody found out about the holding company--

[ Chandler ] I got all that stuff locked up in my office. Just relax.

[ Orr ] I'll relax when I got my money.

So, sounds like they set up a holding company...

to deal with the dirty money once they sell the painting.

So if we can link these documents up connecting the two of them,

that's enough to take to the cops.

How are we gonna get them? Chandler, he doesn't even let the cleaning crew in anymore.

Well, I think it's time for Chandler's spy to be more aggressive.

I mean Mike, not you.

[ Knocking ]

- Miles. - What the hell did you get me into?

- What are you talking about? What? - They broke into my home--

where I sleep, where I live.

What? You sure it wasn't--

No, no. Maybe the lock on the door broke itself.

Maybe my files threw themselves around!

Of course I'm sure. Was there anything taken? Did he find anything that you--

No. All the files are encrypted.

They-- They're kept off-site. I talked to some people in the neighborhood.

They said they saw a man and a woman. It was a two-person team.

What? What is it?

A b-- A business associate of mine, he was-- he was approached the same way.

I thought that he was-- And you didn't tell me?

Maybe I'm not being clear. I need to know everything that is going on!

Because now, I'm involved.

- Whoever this guy is, he's got resources, training. - What kind of person could be--

Could be anybody. Some spy gets blacklisted, goes freelance.

He could be standing right in front of you, and you wouldn't even know it.

Geez.

I need to know what he's after.

Chandler, you have a mistress? Fudge your tax records?

Steal a pack of gum in the sixth grade? You have to tell me.

It's the only way I can protect you, protect us.

- No, no. There's nothing. I don't have-- - Nothing.

Okay. Uh, I'm gonna need to upgrade your system.

I'm gonna lock down your office. I need access to the camera feeds,

the security codes and the alarms.

You're gonna have to trust me. Chandler.

You with me? Yeah.

[ Typing ]

[ Sam ] Okay, Mikey, the feeds are up.

You sure you have to go through the gallery?

Well, Chandler's checking the service entrance cameras.

I don't have much of a choice.

I'm at the west entrance of the gallery. Tell me when to go.

Okay, you are clear to get to the first column... now.

Okay, now there's a camera on the other side of that column,

and it's sweeping the north end of the gallery.

So on my cue, I want you to go to the left.

Uh, left. Uh, you sure?

Yeah, Mike, who's the guy who's looking at the camera here? Yeah, I'm sure.

You're fine. Cameras are moving. Moving.

Here we go. Three, two, one--

No, no, no! It's my left. My left. Your right. Stop. Stop. Sorry.

Okay. Let's try this again. I want you to go to your left.

Three, two, one, go.

[ Michael Narrating ] When it comes to security,

the difference between a spy and a regular thief...

is that a thief gets to take what he wants and run.

A spy has to go back to the scene of the crime the next day...

and act like nothing happened.

It makes the approach a little more delicate.

[ Sam ] How's it going in there, Mike?

Yeah, there's nothing here but certificates of authenticity for paintings and artwork.

It's gotta be here somewhere.

When you're a spy, you spend a lot of time looking for people's hiding places.

It's always good to start by searching where your target has the easiest access.

Of course, smart targets...

don't always hide things where they have the easiest access.

After that, the search gets a little more subtle.

You look for signs of moved furniture,

marks on the carpet, scuffs on the walls.

Anything out of place.

I found where he's hiding the papers, but it's an armored file cabinet.

[ Sam ] That's no sweat. We'll come back with a cutting torch and call it a day.

Yeah, a torch would burn the documents. I need something more specialized,

like a diamond-tip drill bit with a cooling system.

[ Chortles ] That sounds like a doozy, Mike.

Look, I can make some calls, but it's gonna take a couple days.

Let's get on it.

Melanie, we're making progress. We should have everything we need in a couple of days.

You just need to sit tight. Sit tight?

Chandler is acting weird.

He's walking around the office,

staring at all the employees, checking people's desks.

That means he's getting paranoid. That's good.

- The worse it gets, the more he turns to Michael for help. - What if he knows?

There's no way he rebuilt the security footage from those hard drives yet.

No, the most important thing is for you to just act completely normal.

Pretend that nothing's going on. I'll try.

I gotta run. It's nice meeting you, Fiona.

You too.

You know, pretending nothing's going on is easier for some people than others.

- [ Cell Phone Rings ] - [ Beeps ]

- What have you got, Seymour? - I'll show you what I got.

Tell Fiona to fire up the Saab, dude. We're gonna need room for three.

Your bomber is holed up in that little cottage right there.

His girlfriend run over this morning for a little, uh,

together time.

[ Fiona ] Booby trap on the door.

I guess he's not expecting any more visitors.

That's no problem.

I got the shotguns and those breaching rounds I brought.

They'll cut through that wall like it's cardboard.

[ Michael ] That would make a little bigger bang than we want.

The door isn't the only thing rigged to blow. Look.

I'm gonna do some scouting, figure out a better route for an approach.

Fi. [ Mouths Words ]

Man. That guy.

I mean, it's like he sees around corners, you know?

[ Chuckles ]

So what's up with you two? You're not together anymore?

We're in, uh, different spaces, Seymour.

Different spaces? Give me a break.

As a practitioner of tai chi, let me tell you something, missy.

Go with the flow of the universe.

All right? It's destiny, you two.

Forces bigger than us.

Don't argue with destiny. It will kick your ass.

[ Sighs ] Believe me.

I'll keep that in mind, Seymour.

I can drink this outside if you two need some alone time.

Drink it here, Sam.

So, Seymour find your bomber? Yeah.

The place he's staying at is wired to blow if we so much as knock on the window.

Yikes. Well, in other news, I got a lead on a precision drill...

we can use on Chandler's file cabinet.

Buddy's gonna give us a break. [ Cell Phone Rings ]

- Yeah, Melanie, what's going on? - I'm at the office.

- I found something. - You're at the office? You're not supposed to--

I was talking to a girlfriend from work.

She told me that Chandler's secretary was shredding, like, a ton of paperwork.

But get this. Secretary didn't finish.

She left a ton of paperwork for Monday.

So, I've been going through the files until--

You're at the office on a weekend?

If you used your employee security code, Chandler will know you're there.

What else was I supposed to do? This stuff could be gone, and then we'll never know.

Melanie, he's not gonna just leave documents lying around for someone to find.

- What do you mean? - It's a trap.

He knows you're there. You need to get out right now.

[ Vehicle Approaches ]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

He's here.

Melanie, listen to me very carefully. Are you in the copy room?

Yeah, I am.

Get a box of paper, some duct tape and an extension cord.

Some duct tape and an extension cord?

Tape the cell phone to the top of the box...

and run a wire behind it and put it in the gallery entrance.

Do it now. I'm on my way.

- Fi, you got explosives? - I'll pretend you didn't ask that.

- I have to take a more direct approach with Chandler. - I like the sound of that.

- Mike, you want me to come with you? - Uh, no.

I want you to get in touch with Chandler's hit man. [ Door Alarm Chiming ]

[ Cell Phone Rings ]

Yeah. It's Miles Parker. Where are you?

I'm at the gallery. Are you all right? Did they come after you?

What are you talking about? Listen, it's over. I shredded some files at the office today.

I figured whoever's behind this might go after them. I was right.

Someone came in today, used an employee security card. [ Laughing ]

- What's so funny? - You don't get it. They tried to kill me.

You think the spy who's doing all of this would be stupid enough...

to come by your office and use a security code on the weekend?

It's a trap, Chandler. A trap? What?

If you wanna take another breath on this earth, do not go inside. I'll be right there.

There was a bomb wired to my front door.

It was just dumb luck I saw it through my living room window. You're serious.

Do I look like I'm joking? There it is, right there.

On top of the box is a detonator.

It's wired to the doors. If you had gone inside, they'd be picking up...

little pieces of you from the gallery floor. Oh, geez.

Look. This is your last chance. You tell me what this guy is after,

or I walk away and you handle this alone.

It's about a painting, all right? I'm--

I'm pretty sure it's about a painting. What painting?

It's called the Lady in White. I've been trying to move it on the black market.

It's worth seven million. I think that's what he wants. Genius.

What do you think is cheaper for him, paying seven million or having us killed?

Okay, so what are we supposed to do?

We need to trade the painting for our lives. Where is it?

Let's just-- Let's just get outta here and we can figure this out.

[ Michael Narrating ] When you're playing the spy hunter,

the goal is to get the target to trust you completely,

to think of you as his only ally. [ Car Alarm Chirps ]

Convince him that he's on the brink of disaster,

Where's that painting, Chandler? It's at my house.

It's at my house!

and he'll tell you whatever you want him to.

** [ Reggae On Stereo ]

[ Beeps ]

Here you go. Thank you.

Careful now. Last time I saw you, you got your ass kicked by a girl smaller than her.

You son of a bitch. [ Groaning ]

Now, now. No need for name-calling. [ Popping ]

Feel that? Huh? Feel your thumb go snap, crackle, pop?

Okay. Lookie here. This is what I didn't put in your scotch when you went to take a leak.

That's arsenic.

Who do you think gave that to me? Who in the hell are you?

My name is Finley. Now, your buddy Chandler hired me and my partner to kill you.

If the hotel security hadn't come by,

you'd be in a morgue right now. Chandler?

Mm-hmm. [ Popping ]

Something about selling a painting, cutting you out of the deal.

Anyway, I'm only getting $10,000 to hit you.

A lousy 10 G's, and that guy's pocketing millions?

And I said to myself, "That's not fair."

What do you want me to do? I tell you where he's off-loading the painting,

you cut me in on the action.

Of course, if not, we can go back to Plan "A."

10,000 bucks is better than nothing. Hmm? [ Groaning ]

Yeah. [ Exhales Sharply ]

Where is Chandler?

Think he's been here?

Hopefully, he thinks he killed you when the car blew. What?

Is this-- This the Lady in White?

No, it's underneath. Give me a hand.

Here. Here it is.

So now we make a deal. How are we gonna find this guy?

- He's already here. - You!

That's the thing about spies. You never know who they are.

Sam, how'd it go with Orr? [ On Phone ] He'll be there any minute.

You better get outta there, Mike.

What are you doing here?

[ Michael Narrating ] One of the problems with running a criminal conspiracy...

is that there's no real way to avoid trust issues with your coworkers.

- Where's the painting? - He-He took it.

- Yeah? Who took it? - The spy!

He was here and he took it. Then he... hit me.

If you steal with a guy, he knows you're a thief.

The spy? The spy took it?

[ Laughs ]

You rip me off. You try to kill me.

And you can't come up with anything better than that? No, I swear to God.

Please, I swear to you. If you kill with him, he knows you're a killer.

Last chance. Where is it?

No, the spy, he took it! The spy! The spy took it!

[ Gunshot ]

[ Michael Narrating ] It's a serious management issue.

Well, you don't have to worry about Chandler anymore. His partner just got arrested...

trying to dump his body in the Miami River.

I really don't know how to thank you guys.

I... brought some cash.

Uh, Melanie,

I'm pretty sure you just lost your job, so--

My dad left most of his estate to an art school.

But he left me a little bit.

Trust me. It's cool.

Oh. Thank you. And I'm not sure...

if you're really into this sort of thing,

but my dad painted this the year I was born.

It's always been one of my favorites. I want you to have it.

Thank you.

[ Sighs ] Thanks again. Take care.

[ Sighs ] Do me a favor. Drop this off at the loft.

I have to go kidnap an explosives expert.

Good luck with that.

The shotguns you requested. Modified 'em myself.

Now, you sure you don't want me to come up there, help you guys out, back you up?

We're fine, Seymour.

Godspeed. Uh, those are--

They're loaded with the shells...

that I made specifically for this job.

[ Male Announcer On TV ] Gives him a big right hand! Oh! Another big right hand!

[ Michael Narrating ] Favored by bomb squads, disrupter shells...

are a specially-designed shotgun round filled with water.

The blast can blow an explosive device apart without igniting it.

The shells are only lethal up to about six feet.

At 10 feet, they just hurt a lot.

[ Groans ]

Recognize me? Yeah. You're the guy that lives over the club. Listen.

I-I work for hire. It was nothing personal.

You want some of this? Huh? 'Cause I made it special, just for you.

Seymour, I don't think we need that. What do you say, Derek?

No.

Answer my questions, and I'll get you and your girlfriend out of the country. Deal?

- All right. - Who hired you to kill me?

- I don't know. - Okay. Mike, look.

I know you're the professional here, but I really think a little--

Listen, I-I never met the guy before. He just gave me your address and I did the job.

How did they pay you?

Transferred a hundred grand to an account in the Caymans.

- You have the account number? - Yeah.

Seven-five-nine--

[ Michael ] Seven-five-nine-- [ Snaps Fingers ]

Seven-five-nine--

five-one-six--

Hold on. Go ahead.

- Five-one-six-- - Five-one-six--

three-double zero-three.

three-zero-zero-three.

He-He had me memorize it. [ Laughing ]

That-That's all I know.

Seymour, you have any, uh, gun shipments heading out to Suriname?

Suriname. Every other week.

Wait-Wait-Wait-Wait-- Suriname?

Come on, man! Out of the country. Deal's a deal.

- It's a beautiful place. - I don't even know where that is!

That was quick. I got the account number...

used by the man who hired Poole to kill me.

I just need to turn it into a name. Hey. I'm sorry.

I almost forgot. Here.

It's a little--

It's a little something I had made for, uh--

Well, it's in honor of our first operation together.

Go on. Open 'em.

Oh!

Matching throwing daggers.

That's... very thoughtful of you, Seymour.

And if you look at the engraving there, it means destiny.

It's a symbol of your bond.

Of-Of our bond, actually.

I made one for myself too.

So. I'd better get back. You know, uh,

don't wanna leave Jackass alone too long with the captive.

[ Fiona ] That was kind of sweet.

You know, the morning after we, uh--

Yeah.

I brought you a Spanish omelet, egg white only.

But you were gone.

My favorite.

Maybe next time, I'll have to stay.