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Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
Another win for Biotech M.
Hey, André.
You're listening to 95.8, the city's No.1 radio station, with Patrick Nault.
Let's get real. We live
in a leftist dictatorship run by green fascists
who want to see us
drown in our white shit. Clear the snow, godammit!
And if you can't drive, stay home. Anyway,
traffic will be bad today.
Speaking of winter,
those rich snobs of Peacock Island
so pretentious - they hate winter.
Why? They can't play golf!
Those pedantic pricks
throw their money out the window.
Hey, don't text and ride!
What?
Don't text and ride!
I was watching a video.
It's red!
Little prick!
Winter's here. But not for the rich who want golf all year.
Those snobs don't care
about a thing, not even nature. I have nothing against the rich,
the real deal.
But those pretenders spewing their liberal views
really piss me off. Here come the complaints. Who cares?
The world is going to hell, and I'm fed up!
Do you want salt on your giraffe?
No? It's OK as it is?
Hello, André!
"Hello, Camila.
How are you, Camila?
Have you had a good day, Camila?
Is Annie still teething?
Hope it's not painful."
Hello, André.
No, your mother isn't home yet.
Annie...
say hi to your brother.
Hi, Pat. Want me to pick you up?
Pop, I'm busy after.
- After what? - After work, silly.
We're not eating together?
Dad, go out, see people, do something.
I have something planned too.
Yeah, I know what you're up to. And it's weird.
What are you up to?
You don't want to know!
Bye. Love you.
- André... - Yes?
Your mom's late. I must go. Look after Annie.
What? No!
André, my family needs me, too.
- Camila, please... - What are you afraid of?
She won't eat you. Anyway, she's asleep.
There's a bottle in the fridge.
OK? See you tomorrow.
A scary video, but don't worry, there are no victims.
One of the laws of the jungle
is the need to eat, but if the prey
is impossible to reach,
the animal soon gives up to save energy.
Big cats vary between ferociousness
and a vegetative state...
until the next chance they get to bite into fresh meat.
Come on...
This will do it.
Hush! Stop it!
Want a bottle?
Want my phone?
Take it.
Annie, sleep or the bear will eat you!
Why should we be prepared? Power outages, economic crises,
burst water mains, contamination, natural disasters, epidemics...
These are all legitimate reasons. I'm often asked why I'm getting ready
and what scares me. I'm afraid of just one thing...
Oh, boy, Pop...
What?
What's his name?
Mohammed Aktir, an imam.
C'mon.
Serge Tremblay, a lumberjack
who knits.
Be serious.
Who cares what his name is as long as he's nice to me?
Are you...
intimate?
Yuck, Pop! Really!
I can ask.
No, you can't!
Pop...
- What are you doing? - Updating your contact photo.
You have no right to do this!
You got nothing between your ears!
They're not all very bright. C'mon, I won't let you down.
Get up!
It's time.
- Camila's late. I gotta go. - It's crazy.
- What? - You work too much.
House, school, car, sailing...
- I hate sailing. - You meet people.
I hate meeting people.
Me too, but no choice.
Playing golf in winter...
The rich don't care about the laws of nature.
Look out!
Josée Boisbriand. Leave a message.
Mom, Camila isn't here yet.
I don't know what to do. Call me.
How about lunch?
Bye, Pop.
I'll pick you up after work.
Thank you.
- Maud, Marcel! How are you? - Our genius!
Do forgive him. Hey, Ruby.
A real guard dog! You must feel safe.
Is the surprise ready?
Your members will get their money's worth.
If they played 24 months a year, they still wouldn't.
Golf isn't a sport or a game,
it's... a social status.
Come now, Ruby.
Oh, my baby...
Our city is overrun by the poor and immigrants who cost us dearly
because we're nice,
we let 'em in like it's a hotel and pay for their room.
It's just common sense.
We're living above our means.
Hey, guys, real life is no walk in the park. Get it?
Good!
95.8, the city's No.1 radio station,
with Patrick Nault.
Annie!
Almost broke the TV!
Undo the diaper like this.
Try folding it to keep everything in.
Don't want to drop anything on the way.
A variety
of colours is normal: yellow,
green, brown...
You may notice a smell, don't worry.
Be quick to put on a new diaper.
Or be prepared for a nasty surprise.
Need a 7 iron.
He said: "7 iron"!
Yup.
Chill!
Hey there! Leave a message.
Hurry up, honey.
Ruby must be dying of boredom.
Golf is so slow.
You're getting me hard, you dirty girl!
Just you wait!
I'm 5 minutes away.
Amanda!
Honey!
I'm home.
I'm in the bath!
I'm coming!
- Jacques! - I'm coming.
Jacques!
The next step
is to change the damn climate.
We're on it!
Thank you.
Next time, she'll get such a big tip,
she'll see which side her bread's buttered on!
Where is everybody?
Don't stay there.
They're sick!
Ruby, come to Mommy!
Who's a good boy?
Motherfuckin' dog!
Stay there, you goddam hairy mutt!
Do they want to unionize?
Cheap shot, Mom.
Look, I'm here, aren't I?
I can't cancel meetings. Do you mind missing school that much?
Nope.
Then, what's the problem?
- Your daughter's crying. - I can hear her.
- Did you call? - Yes.
They're always noisy, but it's turned into
a bloodthirsty orgy.
Go back inside. I'll deal with it. Thanks.
Hello?
You OK?
What the hell?
Badge #122 to Dispatch.
Hello?
Hey there! Leave a message.
Pat, it's me.
Something's up. I have a bad feeling.
I'm coming to get you.
Call me, it's urgent.
There are people who seem...
unwell.
Sweet pea, stop putting everything in your mouth.
It's normal, she's teething.
- Expert pediatrician? - Among other things.
Honey, can you make your sister's bottle?
Come on. I took care of her all day.
Make your own damn bottle.
Hey, change your tone
and do as I say.
Use bottled water. I've told you before.
Babies are tough.
They don't need to exercise to be healthy.
Unlike you.
I'm eliminating toxins.
Pity, because stress increases your level of toxins.
Maybe you should relax
instead of exercising and taking antidepressants.
He thinks he's so smart with his smartphone!
Coke: 1. Kale juice: 0.
Did you overdose on kale?
Mom, eat something, you're hypoglycemic!
C'mon, Pat! Pick up!
I'll give you Clonazepam.
Serax? Rivortril? Valium? Ativan? Xanax? A juicy steak?
Hey there! Leave a message.
That's my mother.
Don't touch her.
Mom...
- What's wrong with her? - No idea.
Call an ambulance.
911 just hangs up.
Go home, lock the door, and hide.
- They're zombies. - With green eyes?!
- Ever seen zombies? - Yeah.
For real?
On TV.
HQ?
Can't enter the island.
Can you describe the situation?
It's hard to explain.
911 - this is a recording.
Peacock Island is in quarantine.
Stay at home, lock your doors, and avoid all contact.
Mom, stop.
Mom, calm down.
Annie, stop crying.
Go to sleep.
Pop...
What's going on? They're everywhere.
I'm coming, Pat. Stay hidden.
I'm scared.
I know, Pat. I'm on my way. Where are you?
In the kart garage.
I'm not far.
Out of the way!
Why were you out?
Oh my God...
We had to isolate the problem.
That's done. Quarantine is complete.
Let me reassure you, the situation is under control.
It'll be OK, Annie.
Hungry?
Don't you want it?
Hey, Mom!
Come here, Mom!
Annie, stay there!
Annie, stay in the bathroom.
Natural organic food
Why bring them here?
What a nightmare!
It was you who ran over my mother.
It was you watching videos on your bike.
I need to make a bottle.
Lots of food here.
Where's the formula?
I wouldn't know. There must be some somewhere.
Been here long?
Since yesterday.
- What's your plan? - What plan?
We can't stay here.
Can't cross the river, the boats are stored.
You can swim, but it's cold.
Well, I need food for my sister.
What are you doing?
It's OK, Pat. Calm down.
It's Patricia.
My daughter.
Your daughter?
She'll get better.
M prefers their business practices to remain confidential.
Discretion is a corporate prerequisite. Experts are on the way
to repair the damage.
It is essential that everyone respects the Protocol.
to ensure our activities continue.
Do what you have to do, but get me out!
We triggered our emergency Protocol.
The Protocol is simple. I just gave it to you!
Stand down. The clean-up operation is underway.
Come on.
Come on, come on!
There won't always be gas.
But it helps.
Can't rely on modern comforts.
Let's get serious, OK?
We know that it's a virus, that it's viral.
But how is it transmitted?
In the air? The water? The clouds?
Did they all eat tainted caviar?
Well, something sure smells fishy. Anyway,
call me, Patrick Nault.
Hi. Just want to say it must be an attack
by those eco-terrorists.
What a moron!
Used to block bridges, now they blow 'em up.
Lose him. It's Daniel Beauregard.
Well, thanks for your call.
The Minister of Public Security, Daniel Beauregard.
Mr. Beauregard, who's responsible?
We're not there yet. There'll be an inquiry.
We need to find the cause before disrupting
the status quo.
People are dying.
Please answer the question. No double talk.
Well, we want...
What are the victims' chances of survival?
Let's be positive and talk about the disaster we averted.
- Positive? - Know nothing, do nothing.
That's our policy. It's why people voted for us. Thank you.
That was Daniel Beauregard, Minister of Public Security,
another incompetent idiot.
The solution is simple.
When an arm has gangrene, you cut if off.
Now a message from our sponsors, then back to your calls.
What's wrong?
This show is brought to you by the M Corporation.
Just a brain freeze.
With M, Mother Nature adapts.
Say goodbye to fungus
and pesky insects.
Did I hear him right?
To protect themselves, they're ready to sacrifice us.
They're afraid.
Afraid of us.
We're not even infected.
Patrick Nault, go ahead.
Hi, Patrick. I listen to you every day.
You have good taste.
I'm calling from the Island.
I saw everything.
But I'm not infected.
I'm with 3 kids. There must be
others who aren't infected.
- We need help. - What's your name?
Dan... Dan Gingras.
Listen, Dan.
I want to help you.
But you have to help me help you.
You say you're not infected.
How can you be sure?
I know, dammit! My daughter's in a fridge and she's green!
I'm sorry about that, Dan.
How many survivors are there?
There are 3 of us, but there are others in hiding.
And we need help.
Dan, listen to me, it's important.
Do you really know what's happening on the Island?
Because I don't.
And that makes me very nervous.
Know what I mean?
Nobody's listening!
When we call 911, they hang up!
Dan, we don't want your infection.
We need to find out what happened before sending in the army.
We're the victims here.
Not the bad guys.
Didn't you just tell me your daughter was green?
We do what with her?
Dan?
We can't stay here. We gotta do something. They'll...
They'll what?
They'll treat us like the others.
Try it, Annie.
Mom liked this.
Here.
You're eating!
You're eating, sweet pea!
Patricia liked yogurt, too.
Thanks.
Well... now what?
We're on our own.
Pat and I will hide in the woods. I'm prepared.
You can join us.
No.
We have to find the cause.
Pat needs to be cured, right?
Have to find a vaccine.
So, we need to find the cause.
Guess so.
It's the water.
It contaminates everyone at the same time.
True, I never drink any.
What if it was poisoned by terrorists?
The water plant has no security.
Terrorists here?!
Makes sense.
What's funny?
C'mon, terrorists!
It's not funny!
Even Annie thinks it's funny.
Well, it isn't.
Calm down.
Calm down!
- Why didn't you kill her? - She's someone's daughter.
What's this old crate?
There's no power socket.
What for?
To charge my phone.
Take mine.
Got someone to call? Family?
No.
There's nobody.
Sorry.
We're back with another call.
Camila Sanchez, go ahead.
Do you realize what you're doing?
What's that?
You're calling for murder.
I'm sorry, I'm not calling for murder.
Listen to me.
There are a few thousand people
infected on an island. OK? It's serious,
it's sad, it's distressing.
But we can still limit the damage.
I work there. There are good people.
Before we condemn them, why not save the healthy?
Lady...
I like noble ideas,
generosity, good intentions, but if it spreads,
millions of people's lives will be in danger,
maybe the entire planet.
Is that what you want?
A few thousand people
or the survival of everyone?
Would you really choose the people of Peacock Island?
Listening to you,
from your accent, you're not a Quebecer.
Are you from Latin America?
I'm a Quebecer.
Yeah, a Quebecer of Latino extraction.
Didn't your ancestors make sacrifices?
- Pardon? - Human sacrifices?
The Mayas sacrificed humans to the gods.
The Aztecs offered a human heart
to Tezcatlipoca to ward off cataclysms.
The Incas sacrificed children
when the emperor was sick. Little children!
So, don't come here and lecture us, OK?
- Let's have some music... - I'm a Quebecer!
OK.
Idiot!
Wow, you're good! I love you!
You're the best!
The very best! That's what I call radio, Pat!
I suppose you're the Protocol?
I burned all the documents, contracts...
Just get rid of the fertilizer and change the grass back.
Did you bring...?
This will kill the molecule within 24 hours
everywhere, in the water, the grass...
in...
Grass...
Beautiful grass.
Water Plant
We can't take the baby.
What about her?
Can't leave them both.
Patricia!
Come back!
Oh, man! It smells worse than my sister's diaper!
They sure love water.
Dammit!
I'll just wait here.
They don't bite each other.
- Run! - I'm running!
- Hurry! Run! - I am running!
Come here.
Enough! Come here.
Hey, come here!
Come here, Pat.
I've had it.
I'm fed up with this shit.
Fuckin' shit!
What the...
It just broke off.
Like a dead branch.
Stay here.
What's her password?
What is it?
It works!
What're you doing?
There's grass growing.
Grass?
Grass in winter!
What's the connection?
It's not terrorists.
It's golfers!
- Come on. - I'm coming.
Hurry up!
Coming.
Hello!
Open up! We're not infected!
Except one!
They'll understand.
Watch her. I'll be back.
Over here!
I found nothing on smoking grass on the net.
Put your damn phone away!
This is where it's at.
It's just till we find the cure.
You're too fragile.
Annie, I'll be right back.
Dan needs me.
What are we looking for?
Something that makes grass grow in winter, melts snow, and smokes.
What?
Left my flashlight at the water plant.
What did I tell you?
What is that?
It's still breathing.
It's a dog.
It's turned into grass.
No time to lose. Patricia can't end up like that.
Shut her up. I'll carry on.
- André... - Yes?
Where's the light?
Thanks.
The arm.
Here.
Yes?
Be careful.
You too.
The bastards!
No!
Annie, where are you?
Annie, where are you?
Eat.
Candy.
Candy...
Sweet pea...
You had me worried.
Don't ever do that again.
Who are you?
If you touch my sister,
I swear...
I hate babies.
Hello.
My name is André Boisbriand.
I'm on Peacock Island. I'm not infected.
They're attracted to water and the sun.
They've been genetically modified so grass grows on them.
This is my sister.
She's green.
I understand why we're in quarantine, but...
She'll soon look like this.
Help me, please.
The mortality rate
of those infected is 100%.
That's more than the Ebola virus.
100%! 1 infected person means 1 dead...
10,000 infected, 10,000 dead.
I don't have the same numbers.
My numbers are solid, Mr. Minister of Public IN-security!
Let me ask you an important question.
I'm listening.
What are you going to do
to protect the population from an infection
that is 100% virulent?
- We want... - When a limb
has gangrene, the only way to save the patient is to amputate.
- Amputate? - You take a saw and you cut out
the rot. Will you take out
the saw? Will you step up and save Quebec?
Help me! Help me!
Easy...
I'm not infected!
Everything'll be OK.
War is war.
We don't live in a land of unicorns and rainbows.
We're threatened.
We're in danger.
The self-righteous put us in danger by welcoming those who would destroy us.
You want to protect your way of life, your culture, your world?
It's them...
or us!
The Minister says the epidemic is contained.
Those idiots finally understood.
Sometimes you have to make
decisions for them.
After the traffic report and sports,
we'll hand the mic over to our colleague and his talk show.
We'll head home for a well-deserved rest.
You're listening to 95.8, the city's No.1 radio station, with Patrick Nault...
signing off.
Are you OK, my treasure? My darling!
Give me some milk, please.
Men and women of Quebec...
We just experienced
a crisis unprecedented in history.
Except for the unfortunate on Peacock Island,
we were up to the task.
We limited the epidemic,
isolated the clusters of contamination,
and eliminated every trace of the infection.
The perfect coordination of the police, the army,
and the private sector makes us very proud.
This is the Protocol
that from now on, the whole world will follow.
Excuse me.
Men and women of Quebec...
rejoice.
You can sleep easy tonight.
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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