Original subtitles

The long and the tall is, Dolly, it all comes down to money.

That's what you said four years ago when you Liberal lot resigned.

At Phinny Finn's wedding, it was, down at Matching.

We bungled the money, you said, and now we've got to go.

Now the Conservatives have had their turn,

they've bungled the money and they've got to go.

Now you Liberals are coming back and you bungle the money and you'll...

No, no, no, no, no. This time we're determined to get the money right.

Both parties have agreed to drop party politics for a while

and concentrate on the nation's bank balance.

- No, my dear fellow. My turn today. - Very good of you.

And we're going to form a ministry of all the talents.

- A coalition? - Yes, if you like, yes, a coalition.

We've decided to join forces until we've put the country's trade to rights.

Only then shall we return to party issues - reform and all the rest of it.

No, it's Mr Longslaff.

So what you're going to do is call a political truce.

Yes, that's right

But since it should have been our turn this time,

we've insisted that the Liberals in this government should...

slightly outnumber the Conservatives.

Which will make the coalition uneven and therefore uneasy from the start.

No, no, I hope not, no. This coalition has the support of all good men.

And we've found the best man of all to preside over it.

What on earth's the matter?

You look as if you've seen your own ghost.

I...

I'm commanded to attend Her Majesty at Windsor Castle.

I... I leave within the hour.

Oh, Planty. After all these years out of office,

you're to come back again at last.

- They can't give you the Exchequer. - No, no. Not even in a coalition.

Well, then, why such a rush to get you to Windsor?

It must be very important.

Yes, yes it is.

Oh, my God. You're to be the prime minister.

Oh, Planty! You're to be the prime minister!

My dear, it's not a case for exultation.

If only I can do anything for you, Planty.

I would slave for you, slave, slave.

My darling. stop. stop. stop. just for a moment.

Now, I don't know how this is going to be yet, but I do know this,

thai if without cowardice I could avoid this task, then I would avoid it.

- No, of course it would be cowardice. - Well, perhaps.

Now, I have been told that it is my duty to make this attempt.

- But the chances are that I shall fail. - What?

- How fail? - I've got to gather together enough men.

- That is men of both parties. - Surely all that has been decided.

Yes, it's pretty much decided, yes.

But then I have got to hold them together until this task is done.

There could be bitter disagreement.

Barrington said that all men of goodwill on both sides would abide by this truce.

Truces? They're not made to be kept by such men.

It's good that it should be so.

I'm full of doubt.

You must keep a hold of it now, Planty.

I will not lift one finger for personal ambition.

If I could be relieved from the burden, it would be an ease to my heart.

Cora, do you remember, years ago, when I was disbarred from taking office

because it was necessary that we should go abroad?

Yes. Yes, I remember that too, and... how nobly you behaved.

I put the face on it.

And I've been repaid one thousand times since then.

But it was a grief to me at the time, because the office then suggested to me

was one which I thought I could fill with credit to my country.

I believed in myself then.

For this, I've got no belief in myself at all.

I doubt I have the gift to govern men.

- It will come, Planty. - Yes.

Yes, it may be that I must try.

And it may be that I shall break my heart if l fail.

Well...l must go.

The Duke of St Bungay will be waiting.

There's no going back now, my boy.

At one time, I thought you might shrink from it.

I shrink from it, Duke, even now.

But with you behind me, I shall endeavour to do what I may.

Are you ready, Your Grace?

Yes, I am ready.

Your Majesty, His Grace, the Duke of Omnium and Gatherum.

- Is the Duke to be prime minister? - How on earth did you guess that?

Well, what else could have made you so excited?

Besides, it is by no means strange.

I hear they have tried the two old stages till they could try them no longer,

and if there is to be one man to unite the whole country,

who's more likely than the Duke?

- Do you think so? - Certainly. Why not?

He has never done anything to put himself forward.

Perhaps I haven't read things right, but, well, I was surprised,

very much surprised.

- And gratified. - Oh, yes.

I can tell you because you will neither misunderstand me nor tell tales of me,

but I shall be glad to have him prime minister.

Though I know I will have a bad time of it myself.

Glencora, why a bad time of it?

Well, he will be...hard to manage.

I don't mean about the politics. That's to be a mixed kind of a thing at first.

And I don't care a straw whether it run to radicalism or Toryism.

The country goes its own way, for better or for worse, whichever of them are in,

and it'll do the same now that they're both in together.

I don't think it makes any difference what sort of laws are passed.

But I'm afraid, Marie, among ourselves,

in our own set, it makes a deal of difference.

Who gets the counties, the garters, who's made barons, earls,

and whose name stands at the head of everything.

Is that your view of politics, Duchess?

I own it to you, Marie, and I must teach it to him.

You will never do that, Glencora.

Never is a long word. I mean to try.

You look back and tell me one prime minister who's got sick of his power.

Politics with the Duke has always been a matter of simple patriotism.

The patriotism may remain, my dear, but not the simplicity.

I don't mean he should sell his country to Germany

or turn it into an American republic so that he may become president,

but when he gets the reins in his hands, I want him to keep them there.

We must teach him, Marie, that the very existence of the country

depends on his firmness.

To tell you the truth, Glencora,

I don't think you will ever make the Duke believe anything.

What he believes, he believes out of very old habit

or the workings of his own mind.

You're always singing his praises, Marie.

I don't think there's any very special praise in what I've been saying.

But as far as I can see, it is the man's character.

Hm.

Mr Finn will come in, of course. You'd like him to be in office?

Oh, good gracious, no. Why ever should I?

It means he will keep longer hours, he will be more often at the House

and we will be away in the mornings to the bargain.

But...l shall like him to do as he likes himseif.

Fancy thinking of all that

I'd sit up all night every night of my life,

listen to every debate myself, to have Plantagenet prime minister.

- Ah! So it is settled. - Well, more or less.

But now that it is, I intend to have a Cabinet of my own.

You shall do the foreign affairs.

You must give me the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

- I am very good at accounts. - No, no, no. I shall do that myself.

The accounts that I shall set a-going would frighten anyone less audacious.

You see, Planty can't rule the country shutting himself up like a hermit.

He must meet his colleagues and cement their loyalties.

And to see that this is done property,

I intend to appoint myself Plantagenet's master of ceremonies.

Do you know, I should like to put the queen down.

What on earth do you mean?

No treason intended, nothing like that.

I simply mean I'd like to make Buckingham Palace second-rate.

Ah, yes, well, you have always been Liberal.

And now I shall be prodigal.

You mean to say, Lady Glen,

that you are going to make such a splash as will drown the Palace itself?

Yes!

For years, Marie, Planty's money's been piling up.

Rather a lot of it's mine. I'd never mention that to anyone but you.

So, now the season has come to open the coffers.

I mean to show them that they've got more than a prime minister to rule them.

They have a Duke of Omnium.

Not to mention his duchess.

The Duke of St Bungay will be here in a while.

We must settle some of the places.

In fact, Cora, I've never fell before

that I have to lean so much on others as I do now.

Lean on yourself only, Plantagenet Be enough for yourself.

It's empty words, my dear.

No, the efficacy of this task depends entirely upon the cooperation of others,

many of whom I have no symphathy with whatsoever and they have none with me.

- Then leave them out. - No, my dear.

There are people who will not be left out

and whose services the country has a right to exped.

Then bring them in and think no more about it.

It's no good crying for a pain that cannot be cured.

Well, I'll say no more about it now. The Duke will be here in a while.

- I'd like to be left alone... - Yes, I shall be gone in a moment.

Oh, there is one thing I would like to say first.

- What is it, Cora? - A favour I wish to ask.

Do not ask a favour for any man, not just at present.

- It is not for any man. - Nor for any woman.

Well, it is for a woman but one I think that you would wish to oblige.

Will you do it if it will be reasonable?

Oh, my dear. Yes, yes, of course I'll do it, if it will be reasonable.

Well, you can, if you wish, change the places in Her Majesty's household.

Should we so desire, yes.

Then...l would like to be Mistress of the Robes.

You?

Well, why not? ls my rank not high enough?

Cora, my dear.

You always lived as free air, wild disregard for the social rule.

Why must I always be looked upon as different from other women,

as though I were half a savage?

My dear, you are as you are. You're fresh and without prejudice.

And I'm glad, 'cause you disdain the tedium and pomposities of court life.

You ridicule all those who are about Her Majesty as court ladies.

The individuals no doubt, but not the offices.

Planty, I wish to hold this place at court.

My dear, don't think about it.

Now, you asked me if your rank is high enough.

As it so happens, there's none higher.

But I don't wish my wife to be under any restraint.

I don't choose that she should have any duties,

not connected with our joint family and home.

You said if my request be reasonable...

Cora, as first minister of the Crown,

I would not wish my wife to hold any post

which is believed to be at my disposal.

His Grace, the Duke of St Bungay.

Take that stick, will you?

That's it. Now these.

The other one.

Now give me the case. Thank you, Collingwood.

Ah, Duchess.

I fear you must allow me to deprive you of your husbands company.

I wish you joy of it. He's been quite horrid this evening.

Horrid? Oh dear, oh dear.

- Good night, Lady Glen. - Good night, Duke.

Well, then, Duke,

it appears that we are settled as to all the major posts

now that Monk has finally agreed to come in with us and take the Exchequer.

Yes, we are settled, down to the Lord Privy Seal.

Good. And I dare say you have a provisional list for the places below.

- No, Duke, not yet. - Oh, we may as well begin now, then.

Hm?

There is something horrible to me in this.

The idea of writing down men's names for such work as that.

It's like boys at school.

We used to draw out the elevens for a cricket match.

The thing is so momentous, it needs aid from heaven.

Aid from heaven you may have by saying your prayers,

but no angel will come

to name the junior lords of the Treasury.

No. No angel will.

That is why I would escape it.

Only there must be some question of what our policies will be.

There is no good appointing men who will hamper us at every turn.

We have but the one policy, my friend,

which is to clear up this muddle over foreign trade.

No, Duke, we must have an aim, however general in its nature.

It must be far and above the restoration of trade.

That aim must be to keep the peace in the two Houses of Parliament.

Ideals, Duke, moral vision, are no such qualities to count.

At this moment, what you call 'moral vision'

might create exactly the same rows and difficulties which we wish to avoid.

And that's why it's repugnant to me.

It offends my conscience.

At this moment, Duke, I am more concerned with your capacity.

There is work to be done for your country.

Let us attack it with enthusiasm and faith

in order that we may choose the very best possible team.

Sir Timothy Beeswax to be Solicitor General.

Sir Gregory Grogram, Attorney General.

Legge-Wilson tucked away in the Admiralty.

- Quite right. - Not many Tories so far.

Ah.

'Sir Orlando Drought to leader for the government in the Commons.'

Well, there's an old slick if ever there was one.

Are you being very sensible in having a Tory lead for you in the Commons?

Well, we've got the prime minister himself in the Lords.

We thought a Conservative leader in the Commons was a reasonable concession.

It's a damn dangerous concession if he turns sour on you.

- Morning, gentlemen. - Good morning, Lopez.

Who the devil's that?

He's a new Member called Ferdinand Lopez.

He looks foreign to me.

He was at school here and he does something in the City.

They say he's made a packet on the stock exchange

and now he's looking for a seat in the Commons.

On which side?

I thought there weren't any sides just at present.

- Liberal or Conservative? - Liberal, like most new Members.

Indeed. Well, he's a sight too familiar. 'Good morning' indeed.

- What else should he say? - Nothing, until he knows us better.

Upon my soul, Dolly, these tradesmen and Jews, pushing themselves in everywhere.

You, a pillar of the Liberal Party.

Lopez, I've often fancied turning a spot of cash on the stock exchange.

I'd be glad of a him or a tip when you get one.

I'll see what I can do. In return, there is a small service you can do for me.

What's that?

I hear that you are a friend of the Duke of Omnium.

The Duchess is the one that appreciates my particular gifts.

Could you get me an invitation to Park Lane?

The Duchess makes out her own guest lists and don't take hints too easy.

You'd have to get to know her first and make yourself agreeable to her.

She dines out a lot.

Perhaps a friend of yours might need a single man sometime.

I remember now. I'm dining at Lady Dumbello's next week.

She may need another man. I'll ask her.

Thank you.

Oh, hello, Lopez. Not in the City this morning?

I shall be there in my own good time, Everett.

- And what does your day hold? - Nothing much.

But I'm meeting a fellow for lunch who may know about a seat.

- A seat? - In the Commons.

They're not very easy to come by these days.

I should have thought your father could have ananged that for you.

My father won't pay a shilling.

He was never in the House himself and despises my ambition to be there.

Well, I do see his point.

What conceivable good can a seat in the Commons be to you, or to anybody else?

The few who are successful there work hard for little thanks and less money

and the many who fail just sit there being bored to death by platitudes.

Do you want to die of a surfeit of platitudes?

- Somebody must make laws for the country. - I do not see the necessity.

- There are more than enough already. - Encouraging this morning, aren't you?

Well, if you think so poorly of Parliament,

why are you looking out for a seat?

There is one benefit to being in the House.

- You can't be arrested for debt. - There's that about it.

What I really meant was that it assists a man to become a director of companies.

You see, people are such asses that they tend to trust a director

who can write MP after his name.

Try that side of it out on your father. Tell him about the prestige.

It's no use trying out anything on my father.

Once he's made up his mind, that's it.

You'll find that out yourself when you cross swords with him.

Why on earth should I do anything of the kind? Jack of spades.

If you keep it up with Emily, my father will have to know soon, and then watch out.

Why should your father object to my 'keeping it up' with your sister?

You're not what he has in mind for her.

- He's always been very civil to me. - As an occasional guest.

But if you start asking for her, he'll curse you into the ground.

What possible reasons could he have against me?

When the time comes, Ferdy, old boy, he'll make 'em plain enough.

Well, it's been decided.

The Duchess of Jersey is to remain as Her Majesty's Mistress of the Robes.

Well, she ought to know her way about 'em.

She was at the same work when I was a girl of 11.

- That's not such a long time ago. - It seems long enough to me.

My dear, what does it matter?

She began her career in the time of George IV. What is to you?

She did in fact begin it in the time of George III.

- She's 60 if she's a minute. - Glad you remember your dates.

Pity she can't remember hers in the way that she dresses.

My dear, it's not within my office to make radical changes in her Grace's apparel.

Oh, surely we're not going to quarrel about an old lady?

No, nor even a young one.

She can wear her clothes just as she pleases or go without them.

You're still not disappointed, are you, because I didn't agree with you?

It is not because you did not agree with me

but because you did not think me fit to be trusted with any judgement of my own.

I cannot be at ease in my heart while I think that you are resenting my refusal.

Cora.

You don't know how constantly I carry you about with me.

You carry a very unrewarding burden, then.

Well.

I have managed to do something which I think you will be pleased about.

Oh.

I've arranged to do something for Mr Finn.

Phineas? There was nothing about it in the papers.

It's only just been decided. He's going back home to Ireland as Chief Secretary.

- Not in the Cabinet? - No.

He's said to be the luckiest man in the whole scramble.

- It's substantial promotion for him. - Oh, yes, yes, I know that.

How pleased Marie will be.

I wonder whether she will wish to go with him to Ireland.

Well, she is his wife.

Yes, but Ireland's a rowdy son of place these days.

- And he'll be coming back pretty often? - Oh, yes.

I shall miss her if she's to stay away long.

She is, in fact, the only woman in London to whom I can say what I think.

- Uh-huh. - Besides, I would like her assistance.

What? You need Mrs Finn's assistance?

Yes-

You see, Planty, it has occurred to me,

after what has happened, we ought to open up Gatherum Castle.

- I shall need Marie's assistance with that. - Gatherum?

- I thought you hated the place. - Well, yes, I do.

But I think that it should be done now.

You could hardly go to a small place like Matching in your present position.

There are so many people whom you must entertain.

We always used to find plenty of room at Matching.

You did not always use to be prime minister,

with a score of ambassadors who you must invite to your house.

It is for such a time as this that Gatherum may be serviceable.

Well, I suppose if it ought to be done, it ought to be done now.

Marie, I shall look to you for moral support,

that is if Mr Finn is happy to leave you with us.

A marriage is often the sweeter for a husband and wife being often apart.

Bides, Phineas has his work. He's very ambitious about it.

He's determined that the Irish shall have justice at last.

But will he be able to give it to them?

- Mr Lopez! - Duchess.

Marie, allow me to present Mr Ferdinand Lopez. This is Mrs Phineas Finn.

- Mrs Finn. - Mr Lopez.

A bleak time of year, Mr Lopez.

Indeed, Duchess, but February is almost done.

And already 'the hounds of spring are on winter's traces', as Swinburne has it.

You know the pasage, I expect.

'For winter's rains and ruins are over

And all the season of snows and sins The days dividing lover...'

'..lover and lover

The light that loses The night that wins'

You have made your point, Mr Lopez.

Good, Mrs Finn.

Well, I fear I must ask you to excuse me, Your Grace.

I must leave this sylvan scene for an appointment in the City.

Duchess. Mrs Finn.

Marie, you were quite snubbing.

I do not quite approve of young men who quote poetry.

Oh, what nonsense. I often quote poetry.

You ain't a young man.

And what does this Mr Lopez do when he is not getting up Swinburne?

You heard him say, he must go into the City.

And what does he do when he gets there?

I don't know. He has powerful interests, rich friends.

- So they say. - Do they indeed?

And where did you meet him?

- At the house of Lady Dumbello. - Who is a fool.

Has a nose for young men with prospects.

She did take up Planty, after all.

I think Mr Lopez is a man of our time and could be very useful

to a prime minister with problems of trade on his hands.

I think I shall take him up.

- Afternoon, Lopez. - It's a cold one.

- Walk here, did you? - I wanted a breath offresh air.

You could use one, by the look of it, cooped up in here all day.

Business is tricky these days, Lopez. A man must stay where he can be found.

You certainly do that, Sexty.

I don't believe you've taken one step from this place since I've known you.

I have to slick to it, Lopez, and slick to it hard.

- I have a missus and three children. - So I've heard.

Which means I can't do what you do.

Give up regular work and just pull off something smart now and then

just when it takes my fancy.

I wouldn't dare go in for that kind of thing.

I don't suppose you or anybody else know what I go in for, do you?

Nor don't care to, neither.

Only hope it's something good, though, for your sake.

It's good enough.

I mean to tell you about it one day soon.

No time like now.

One day soon, Sexty.

But I'll tell you what I want you to do for me now.

I want your name to this bill for three months.

750 quid?

Altenative accommodation bill, eh?

And if you haven't paid it in 90 days, they come on me.

That's right. But I shall have paid it.

And yet you need to raise the money new.

Why, Lopez? You ain't hard up, are you?

Just at present, Sexty, I'm not going to tell you anything about my affairs.

One day soon, but not now. Meanwhile, as you value my future good offices,

I expect you to sign that bill for me.

You don't doubt my ability to raise £750, surely?

I suppose a man may be a little surprised at such a thing.

Such arrangements are very common amongst the likes of you and me.

Now, if you ain't afraid about it, Sexty,

just sign it, there's a good lad.

Oh, I ain't afraid.

Er, when do I see you again, then?

O, ye of little faith.

Soon enough, Sexty. Soon enough.

But if you're going to sweat like a cheese over such a little matter as this,

I'm not at all sure that you're the man I'm looking for.

I hope I see you well, Mr Lopez.

Take a seat, if you please.

Now, sir, can I do anything for you?

I have taken the liberty of calling on you, Mr Whanon,

because I wish to speak to you about your daughter.

About my daughter?

Upon my word, Mr Lopez, you surprise me somewhat.

I have known you hardly three months

and that only as an acquaintance of my son Everett.

- I am more than that to Everett, sir. - As a friend of my son's, if you like.

Whom he has brought to dine at my house some three or four times.

- Seven times, to be precise, sir. - A score of times, for what I care.

What makes you, a stranger to us in all matters of any importance,

think yourself entitled to speak to me about my daughter?

I do know how great is my presumption, sir,

yet having ventured to entertain a hope,

I thought it best to come to you at once.

- Does she know anything of this? - Of my visit to your chambers? Nothing.

Am I to understand that your suit has any sanction from her?

None at all. I come to ask your permission to address her.

You mean that she has no knowledge whatsoever of your preference for her?

I cannot say that. lt is hardly possible that I should have learned

to love her as I do without some consciousness on her part that it is so.

Have you been making love to her?

Who is to say in what making love consists, Mr Wharton?

A gentleman knows. Have you been making love to her?

I have endeavoured to commend myself to your daughter,

but I have never spoken a word of love to her.

- Does Everett know of any of this? - Everett is my most intimate friend.

I don't know about that, but as far as I am concerned,

I can only repeat that you are a stranger to us.

Well, that is an accident which could easily be cured.

Perhaps I don't wish to cure it.

A daughter's happiness is a very serious consideration.

Like should many like, Mr Lopez.

I should wish my daughter to marry in her own sphere of life

and with someone of her own class.

- Is that intended to exclude me? - I don't know anything about you.

I don't know who your father was,

whether he was a Christian, whether he was a Protestant,

not even whether he was a gentleman.

My father was a Portuguese gentleman

and my mother was an English lady.

I was an orphan before I knew either of them.

I was educated at a school in England

and at the University of Gottingen in Germany.

My guardians wished me to be acquainted with the languages of the continent.

I have a prejudice of my own in favour of Latin and Greek.

- Who are these guardians? - They are dead, sir.

Then have you no connection, Mr Lopez,

who is still fortunate enough to be alive?

What is your profession, sir?

- I am engaged in foreign loans. - Ah. Son of gambling, in fact.

And in foreign trade generally.

It is a business by which many great mercantile houses have been made.

And by which they come to ruin.

I don't wish to marry my daughter in the City, Mr Lopez.

I don't wish to marry her to a foreigner.

I am English, as my mother was.

And I do wish her to marry into the Church of England.

- To which I have always belonged. - And in which your name don't fit.

There must be an end to this.

Even though I'd be happy enough to obtain your daughter's favour?

You won't get that without you obtain mine.

And that is all.

Then I shall hope, sir, as time goes on, to persuade you to change your mind.

Ask of me around the court, sir.

See if they remember when I last did that.

- Oh, good evening, sir. - Good evening.

- You don't dine at home today? - No, sir.

I've an engagement to dine with a fellow at the club.

If you dined more frequently at home,

you would less ofien have to ask me to raise your allowance.

Well, sir, I look at it this way.

If I dined at home, it would cost you more on the housekeeping.

So it all com to the same in the end.

Eating meals at clubs is injurious both to the pocket and the stomach.

- With whom do you dine? - With my friend Lopez.

Come in here, if you please. I wish to speak with you.

I don't much care for your friend Lopez.

I'm sorry for that, Father.

I should need a good deal of evidence

before I could trust him to be what he seems.

- He's clever, no doubt. - More than just clever, sir.

Evidently. He came to my chambers today and had the impertinence to say

that he aspired to the hand of your sister.

- Where's the wrong in that? - He's not a gentleman, sir.

Moreover, he's not an English gentleman.

Well, I think you should know, Father, that Emily very much likes him.

- It's impossible. - That is for her to say, not for you.

Hold your impudent tongue, sir, and understand this.

Your sister is not for any greasy foreign pedlar,

and so you may tell him this very night

And Emily, sir? What is to be told to her?

I will speak with Emily myself.

- What is all this, Papa? - Sit down by me, Emily.

Emily, I have been much astonished today by Mr Lopez,

a man of whom I have seen little and know less.

He came to my chambers and asked for my permission to...to address you.

Of course, I did not give him permission.

Why of course, Papa?

Because he's a stranger and a foreigner.

Surely you would not have wished me to tell him he might come?

Yes, Papa. In that case I could have judged for myself.

- Every girl would wish for that - But you would never have accepted him.

I should have consulted you before I did that

But I would have wished to accept him. I do love him, Papa.

Emily, this must not be.

Why not?

If you say it shall not be so, it shall not.

But I think you ought to tell me why, as I do love him.

He has no relatives, no family, no belongings.

- He is what we call an adventurer. - ls he a bad man, Papa?

How can one say whether a man be good or bad

when one knows nothing about him?

The long and short of it is that you must not see him again.

- And did you tell him so? - Yes.

But, Papa, is there to be no reason?

I will not have my daughter encourage a foreign adventurer.

He had an English mother and speaks perfect English.

He has a business and lives with gentlemen.

And he's Everett's particular friend.

He's clever and well educated

and, oh, so much better than most men one meets.

Oh, Papa, I do wish you knew him better than you do.

I do not wish to know him better.

- Is that not prejudice, Papa? - No.

No, no, I have seen him, I have listened to him and I have judged him.

That is not prejudice, Emily.

I think you should enquire further, Papa.

You should be quite certain

before you pronounce such a sentence against him, and against me.

You claim a right to my obedience and I acknowledge that.

I'm sure you will believe me if l promise

not to see Mr Lopez again without your permission.

I do believe you, my dear. I do.

But if I give you that promise, I think you should make quite sure

that I'm not being made unhappy for nothing.

You will think about it, Papa, find out more about him,

what manner of man he really is, for my sake?

- Good day, Your Grace. - Good day, Collingwood.

Collingwood.

My dear, I thought I'd take a short walk, stretch my legs.

- Would you care to accompany me? - No, thank you.

I'm tired and I shall be fit for nothing until I've had a cup of tea.

- I'm sure Marie feels the same. - As you wish.

Collingwood, tell Lady Mary we've arrived.

Very good, Your Grace.

Here is a list of all the bedrooms and who is to sleep in which.

Thank you. They are numbered, just like an inn.

- I see. - Excellent

Thank you. Well, you can take it for certain, Mrs Prichard,

that as from Friday next there will never be less than 50 to sleep.

- 50 to sleep, Your Grace? - Yes, 50 to sleep, eat and drink.

And 50 to push through 24 hours of every day.

Have you got everything that you need?

That depends, Your Grace, how long each of them stays.

- Two nights on an average. - That means changing the beds often.

Send up for more sheets tomorrow. Now, why wasn't that thought of?

It was, Your Grace. I think we shall do. We have the steam washery put up.

- Towels, Mrs Prichard? - Plenty of those, Your Grace.

A whole wagonload came up from the station.

But 50 people means the big table, and none of the tablecloths are long enough.

- Saw two tablecloths together. - Very good.

Has the new sauce chef arrived all right?

He's arrived, Your Grace. All right is another matter again.

He was so drunk last night, we didn't know what to do with him.

Oh, well, I don't mind that before the affair begins.

A good chef is an artist and his manners are bound to be a bit bohemian.

But what if he go on being bohemian after all the guests are here?

We must simply hope that his sauces won't suffer.

He is said to be a genius and we must pardon his little excentricities.

Not so little for those who have to clear up after him.

As to that, Mrs Pritchard, we shall of course pay the usual honorarium.

- Well, I think that will be all. - Your Grace.

After I've been through the bedrooms, I shall be in here if you need me.

My dear, I don't see why you need my help. You have lists for everything.

Here is the way everybody's to take everybody down to dinner

for a fortnight and where they are to sit,

and I even have some private notes on who should flirt with whom.

I shouldn't leave those lying about.

I sometimes wish the government collapse

and I shouldn't have to go through all this.

It would have broken your heart.

Ah, Mary, my darling. And what have you found since you've been here?

A weird great house, Mama, with everybody bustling around.

Well, I'm glad about the bustling. We must all bustle from now on.

And may you, not least.

Your mama is going to depend upon you

to be charming to all the guests when they arrive,

and in most cases it'll be uphill going, I fear.

I shall do my very best, Mama. But I do wish the boys were here too.

Mary, the boys are at their studies.

Silverbridge's tutor at Oxford said he must work 18 hours a day just to pass his finals.

Well, I dare say we shall do very well as we are.

Yes. Well, if only Planty would be more help.

There he goes new, hating everything that is being done.

If one can't have friends to the country without such a fuss as he's making...

Oh! Oh, sorry, guvernor, sorry.

Thank you, my good man.

Can you tell me, what is... what's being done?

Some things is being took out, guvernor, and some things is being brought in.

- Why? - Prime minister's orders, that's why.

It's not for you and me to ask questions, now, is it?

- Excuse me, my good fellow. - Sir?

Can you tell me by whose order this work is being done?

The prime minister's orders, sir,

or at least by the lady duchess, his wife's.

Right. Bert!

Can you tell me, what's being done for?

For the prime minister and the quality for shooting their bows and arrows.

And who might you be, sir, come asking all these questions?

Oi!

Give us a hand with this.

I've never been so tired in my entire life.

I have just planned every menu for the next month,

making sure that no guest should have the same dish twice.

I have been into every bedroom and moved most of the furniture with my own hand.

Was that necessary, Cora?

If I'd gone to bed instead, the world would have gone on, I suppose.

People must eat, and some of the more important, like Sir Orlando Drought,

are staying a week or more, which makes it very difficult.

You wouldn't want Sir Ortando to have the same dish twice. lt might choke him.

Cora, so far, I've always let you have your way in everything, hm?

I know you are going to scold.

I shouldn't have said what I did about choking Sir Orlando. Don't worry.

I shall sing to him like a siren for the next seven days.

Cora, I don't like what you've done out there. That's not necessary.

People make changes in their garden without necessity.

But these have been made to impress your guests.

Had you done it to gratify your own taste, I'd have said nothing at all.

No, even then, I think you might have told me what you intended.

What? When you're so burdened with work you don't where to turn?

I'm never so burdened that I can't turn to you.

What distresses me is this.

Those things which were fell to be good enough for our friends before

are now fell to be insufficient.

It's because of this post I hold.

You agreed that we should entertain at Gatherum.

I did not agree you could dig up half the country round,

in order to make a display.

I'd almost say that there's a vulgarity about this which offends me.

Vulgarity? How dare you?

My dear, now, I retract the word. I never really said it.

I used it in the conditional sense, the optative mood.

- I had almost said... - Oh, you said it all right

Vulgarity indeed.

Yes, of course it's all vulgar.

But you don't think I do it from any pleasure that I get from it.

The lavishing of smiles on butchers and tinkers

must always be odious and vulgar.

You cannot have power and remain untainted.

It is impossible to be both public and private at the same time.

You must submit to vulgarity

or cease to be the first minister.

My dear, I would remind you of this. There is no personal ambition.

So you have always said, yet you enjoy, oh, how you enjoy,

telling us all what is best for us.

Nothing now would persuade you to let it go.

From now on, my darling, you and I are on duty continually.

This evening's dinner is the start of the performance here,

and that performance will go on without remission until the last guest leaves.

When will that be?

When all those your father must entertain have been entertained.

Come in.

Oh, Silverbridge, my dear.

- Mother. - Well, well!

Allow me to present my friend, Mr Francis Tregear. Frank, my mother.

- Mr Tregear. - Your Grace.

Oh, and my sister Mary.

You said that they wouldn't let you leave Oxford just now.

Yes. Er, just now, Mother, they won't let me slay there.

- You've been expelled? - We call it sent down, Lady Mary.

Well, it does sound rather less injurious.

- Have you too been sent down? - Oh, no, no, no. Frank's being a brick.

He got an exit and came down to help keep my spirits up.

You'll be able to stay for a little?

Alas, I have to return to complete my studies.

- Well, let's hope you'll join us later. - Rather.

Any chance of dinner? A chap feels jolly peckish at a time like this.

At a time like this, Silverbridge, a chap deserves bread and water.

Besides, I don't much want you to see your father tonight.

On the other hand, a chap's friend deserves consideration.

- The Palliser Arms. - Yes, I think that would be best.

- Then they can both come back tomorrow. - I'll speak to your father.

- And soothe him down a bit? - That depends on what you did wrong.

- I painted the dean's lodging. - Red.

I fear that neither your father nor the prime minister will see the joke.

- But you do. - Now stop trying to get round me.

Take your friend off to the Palliser Arms.

Tomorrow is another day and we shall see what we shall see.

Your Grace. Lady Mary.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

- It's time to go down, Mama. - Yes.

Yes, of course. You are right.

On no account must the performance be delayed.