All language subtitles for The Pallisers 16

- Dear Lady Eustace.
- Mrs Bomeen, dear.

Trim as a May morning.

And how is your dear husband -
Mr Emilius?

Do forgive me. My dear husband,
the Reverend Emilius, is an odious hypocrite,

who does nothing but loaf around
the house all day.

- Guzzling, sipping, and...nuzzling!
- Guzzling, sipping, and...nuzzling?

- Except when he spends my money.
- He is prodigal of your money?

- Throws it about by the bucketful!
- Surely, my dear, you can stop that

You kept your property to yourself.
You told me how the lawyers arranged it.

Mr Emilius has ways and means.
He is a very strong man.

And quite without chivalry.

- Just you look here.
- My dear!

Oh!

In fact, to give him money is the
only way to be rid of him.

I pay for his absences
as I might hire a cab, by the hour.

The rate increases every week.

There is only one thing for it, Lady Eustace.
You must refuse him money.

Tell him to earn it for himself.
And if he grows violent and abusive,

you must have recourse
to the law of the land.

Yes, you are quite right, Mr Bonteen.
It cannot go on.

Oh! How comforting it is to have so wise
and understanding a counsellor!

I've a lot on my mind just now,
Lady Eustace, but I am yours to command.

You have a noble husband, Mrs Bonteen.

How grand it makes me feel to receive
advice from the next Chanchellor of the Excequer!

Oh, that's not quite settled yet...

But surely Mr Palliser must resign
now that he's Duke of Omnium.

- Who else could do the work but you?
- Certainly Palliser must resign.

Mr Gresham has asked him
to take all the time he desires

to set things in order
for his successor.

And that successor mm be you.

As there is justice in heaven,
I know your merits will soon be rewarded.

Thank you. In the meantime,
I rather think that Palliser - or Omnium now -

will be in no hurry
to finish off his work and go.

These high-and-mighty people with titles
are all the same. No offence meant!

None taken, Mrs Bonteen. Some people
never know how to yield gracefully.

My dear lady, you must refuse to give
your husband any more money.

If you need help,
I am here and at your service.

- Marie.
- Oh, my dear

Thank you.

Beautiful. Ah...

Over here.

Well, you've settled down again, I see.

Oh, I don't know about settled down,
my dear.

After so much time at Matching,
I'm almost homesick for it.

And yet I don't think we could have
watched him dying much longer.

No. No, his time had come.

The Duke is dead.
Long live the new Duchess.

The new Duchess already
has her problems, Marie.

- Ever heard of Miss Adelaide Palliser?
- Some son of cousin?

Second, third...l can't work it out.

But undeniably a cousin,
and an orphan, like myself, to boot

Well, until now she has lived in the country
with some people of her mother's.

They feel it's time
she was launched in the world.

Plantagenet says the Pallisers
must do their part.

- We are to have her with us in London.
- Very generous of the Duke.

Very generous, considering it'll be me
that'll have the handling of her.

She's a nice enough girl in her way.

Distinctly bucolic in her tastes.
All mud, straw and horses.

The thing is, I just don't know
how she'll fit in.

She's too young for me,
she's too old for the boys.

And she's much too poor
to be let loose in the shops.

- So, how am I to amuse her?
- Get her married.

Bless you, Marie,
exactly what I thought.

But to whom?

Please name some eligible bachelors
with whom she can fall in love.

Dolly Longstaffe?

Dolly's much too happy sitting at the club.
Don't clutter him up with a wife!

Ah! I know!

- Phineas Finn.
- We both know your plans for Mr Finn.

Ah! I have it!

- Lord Fawn.
- Lord Fawn.

Yes, Lord Fawn.
Title but nothing excessive.

Oh, jilted Lizzie Eustace, of course,
but then she did ask for it.

Minor political office to keep him
from getting under her feet.

Not handsome but perfectly wholesome.

At least he's got two arms, two legs
and a head.

And he's looking for a wife.
He came courting me not so long ago.

There we have it, a jolly, thriving amour
for fifih cousin Adelaide.

Oh, here's Mr Finn. I must be off, Marie,
and order nightshirts for the boys

and start spreading the ground bait
for Lord Fawn.

- Hail and farewell, Mr Finn.
- So fast away, Your Grace?

Old friends, Phineas,
will still call me by my old name.

Yours to command, my Lady Glencora.

So...

the Duke has gone at last, Madame Max.

Yes, I shall miss him sorely,
Mr Finn.

But I will not grieve for him.
His last words were,

'I hope for nothing
but I fear for nothing either.'

He was not troubled.

I wish I could say the same for you,
Mr Finn.

There are shadows round your eyes
I don't remember seeing there before.

I have my troubles.

There is a journalist called Slide

making scandal
about the Kennedys and myself.

I can't afford to be attacked
like this, Madame Max.

The Party has shown me little enough
kindness since my return

but with this business of Kennedy
and his wife, I should be an outlaw!

You have been away in Ireland
for so long, Mr Finn.

You cannot reasonably expect
to take up again where you left off.

- I could expect to be considered.
- Doubless you are.

No, now that Mr Palliser is Duke,
he must be replaced at the Exchequer.

While Mr Gresham is managing
this big change, he's making smaller on.

But I've yet to hear the slightest indication
anything is to be done for me.

You will hear nothing
until it is settled, Mr Finn.

In a day or two, there is a meeting
of selected Liberal supporters,

important enough for Mr Palliser
to overlook the conventions of mourning

and give it room
in his own London house.

But, Madame Max,
I have not been invited to attend.

I didn't even know the meeting was being held
until I heard it

as an item of casual gossip
from Dolly Longstaffe.

Well, never mind, Mr Finn,
you may well find you have more friends

in the Duke of 0mnium's house
than you know of.

The party's in one of its bustling moods.

ls something radical to
be attempted at last?

Oh, no, no, my dear Duchess.

- Nothing as bloodcurdling as that
- Oh...

- Well, what's afoot, then?
- We have to consider

who is to replace your husband
at the Exchequer, for one thing.

It's cruel that you can't leave him there,
absolutely cruel.

He can have all the time he wants,
within reason, to round things off.

But then I'm afraid he'll have to go.

Poor Planty.

We are arranging for him
to become Lord Seal

and retain a seat in the Cabinet.

So he will still be at the centre of affairs.

- Good.
- Yes.

- Lord Fawn.
- Oh, Duchess!

I have something rather good
to put in your way.

I've no time to tell you now
but do come to my boudoir before you go home.

- Your boudoir, Duchess?
- A servant will show you the way.

In the light ofwhat you say,
perhaps we'd better speak with Bonteen.

- Certainly, Prime Minister.
- I would like a word with St Bungay.

I hope you have everything
you need for your confabulations.

Well, I must make myself scarce.

You're very kind.

One thing, you'll have no difficulty with Finn
over disestablishment.

Both he and I mean to vote
with the Party

on the grounds that Daubany
is the wrong man for the job.

Are you sure, Monk?
Finn cats about like a weather vane.

- Does he, indeed?
- The man simply isn't reliable.

He was very indiscreet down
at Tankerville during the election.

Need I remind you about the trouble
he caused about Irish tenant rights?

You don't need to remind me.

I helped him cause it!

Mr Bonteen, the Prime Minister
would like a word with you.

With pleasure, Duke.

- Excuse me.
- I was hoping to have a word...

If you could spare a moment,
Her Grace would like to see you upstairs.

I understand you have some knowledge
of heavy industry on the Continent.

I do, Prime Minister.

There are those who say we must
expect serious competition

from that quarter in a few years' time.

Perhaps even sooner,
particularly from Germany.

- We must not forget America.
- More trouble with the Yankees!

Since their Civil War has ended,
they have recovered and developed fast.

Could you expand a little, Mr Bonteen?

It's my considered opinion,
Prime Minister, gentlemen...

Tell me what they're planning for Mr Bonteen.

Not very much, Lady Glen.
At least, I hope not

Why do you both dislike him so much?
There are worse men than Bonteen.

Not in my book.

No, nor mine.

Now, why can't you do something
for that nice Mr Finn?

- A much better choice.
- Quite frankly, Lady Glen,

Finn ain't been showing
the right kind of form just lately.

It ain't the right kind of form to go
and get yourself talked about as a...

a married woman's lover.

Don't be such an old woman, Barlingion!

I don't see why he should
be cast aside because of that

- It happens every day.
- It don't get into the newspapers

as Finn's affair has.

And all this talk of pistols,
that's no good either.

It's time Finn grew up, Lady Glen.

All I can say is,
cry God for Phineas.

- Heaven preserve us from Mr Bonteen.
- Amen to that!

We shall have to appoint
a new Chancellor soon. Who else is there?

Bonteen has been doing excellent work
at the Board of Trade.

Trade!

If you are going to use words like that here,
you are no friend of mine.

Oh, do come in and sit down,
Lord Fawn.

Well, you see if you can talk
some sense into them all, Mr Monk.

Hewho!

The Duchess seems to have rather
a full programme this evening.

She's a sight too fond of sticking
her fork into other people's dinner.

Well, Duchess, here I am.

Yes, here you are, Lord Fawn.

I hope you're not missing anything
of interest below.

If there were anything of interest,
no-one would bother to tell me.

Come, your very presence
at today's meeting marks you out

as one in whom other members
show great trust.

As indeed I'm going to do now.

A matter of some delicacy,
you understand.

I'm afraid I don't
understand anything. Not yet

Lord Fawn, my husband has a cousin
called Adelaide Palliser.

She is coming to London in a day or two
and I think you should meet her.

Why should you think that?

Well, you might just happen
to take to her.

I'm afraid none of the ladies I meet
ever seem to take to me.

Aw! But Adelaide has been very
narrowly brought up in the country.

She might be agreeably flattered by
the attentions of a cultivated man.

A distinguished politician like yourself.

- She might? Might she?
- Yes.

After all, Lord Fawn,
you must be married sometime

otherwise there'll be no heir
for Fawn Court.

The way things are looking,
there'll be no Fawn Court either.

Yes, I was just coming
to that side of things.

Now...

Adelaide Palliser
has no money of her own.

I might have known it.

Were she to marry a man of
whom my husband and I approve...

...a great deal could be done for him. Indirectly.

Need I say more?

Yes. ls she good breeding stock?

- Lord Fawn!
- You yourself mentioned an heir.

You see, what I have to be sure of
is that her branch of the Pallisers

doesn't breed too many girls.

You see, I have seven sisters
all eating my house down already.

Well, all I can say is, Lord Fawn,

with the Pallisers,
the boys are boys and the...

The girls are girls.
If you take my meaning.

I see. Well...

I don't seem to have done myself
much good trying to many rich women.

I might as well have a shot
at a poor one.

If even she won't have me,
then I'll really know I'm no good.

Come, Lord Fawn,
a little more elan, don't you think?

To win this girl's heart, brace yourself up,
come to dinner on Tuesday,

ready to weep Adelaide
clean off her feet!

- Oh! Lord Fawn.
- Sorry.

Hello, Phinny. Not at Park Lane
at the big Liberal powwuw?

- Not asked, Dolly.
- There you are, you see.

There's been all this chatter and you
know how respectable politicians are!

Never mind, old fellow, it'll pass.

They tell me that Kennedy has been
taken up to Scotland by his cousin.

Mad as a March hare.

The walls of Loughlimer
are thick enough to muffle his row.

Yes, but this row ain't easily muffled, Dolly.

Not with Quintus Slide stirring it up.

No, I suppose not

He talks about a shot
being heard that Sunday

and me leaving
Kennedy's house in a hurry.

Then he goes on:

'It now falls to us to enquire why the
police were not summoned at the time,

or failing that, why some report
or explanation was not made to them

at a later date by Mr Finn.

We now pose this question.

Since when have Members of Parliament
been exempt

from the common duty
to obey the law of the land?'

It's not an easy question to answer, Dolly.

- Perhaps you should have called the police.
- And put that poor wretch in charge?

It was me Kennedy shot at!
If I didn't complain, why should Slide?

Well, he can't go on about it for ever.
People will get sick of it.

Not if here's a new 'mmknem.

Why should there be?

Now that Mr Kennedy is confined
at Loughlinter...

...Lord Brentford feels it safe
to bring Lady Laura back to London.

They should be here any day now.

And Slide will say
that she has come back to see you

now that her husband
is safely out of the way.

- That's about it, Dolly.
- Ah, Finn.

Longslaffe.

Sorry not to see you at Park Lane.
You missed an interesting evening.

- Oh, really, what was decided?
- It was decided,

amongst other things
that don't concern you,

that the Party must go all out to oppose
Daubany's measure on disestablishment.

- That had already been decided.
- But we discussed possible treachery

on the part
of some of our junior Members.

The sort of people who sometimes see
fit to vote against their own party.

Any man of spirit will occasionally
vote against his own party.

And you, Finn,
shall you vote against us over this?

You have done before, you know.

Whatever I may have done before,

in good company
and with a good conscience,

I made it quite clear that now
I intend to support the Liberal Party

in its stand against Mr Daubany's
proposal on disestablishment.

Very good of you, I'm sure.

Especially as it means you'll have to eat
all the promises you made down at Tankerville.

I made no promises at Tankerville.

I merely spoke a few words,
as I was asked by my constituents to do,

on the political principle of the thing.

Very fine and large. You're a great one
for principles, ain't you, Finn?

Personally, I prefer men
who can be trusted in practice

not to scuttle the ship.

Good evening, my dear.

Sampling the pleasures
of the vine, I see.

You know, I've no objection to you
drinking in the drawing room.

It's friendlier with two.

I just came in here to tidy myself up.

And I have something else
for you to tidy up.

It's... It's a little affair...

...a little affair of my own.

If you'd just...sign there,
would you?

- What is it?
- A bill of acceptance.

What is that?

It means I collect some money now
from this kind gentleman in the City

and that you pay it back later, if l can't.

In this case, in three months.

Plenty of time, you see,
to make arrangements.

- It's for £800!
- Quite so, my dear.

I didn't know whether you had that amount clear
so I'm doing it this way

instead of asking you to draw a cheque.

Ain't I a considerate husband?

Do you expect me to sign this impertinent thing
and pay you £800 in three months time?

Or sooner, if you'd prefer.
You pay less interest that way.

I'll sign nothing and I'll pay nothing!

- Now, Lizzie.
- You snake!

- You vampire!
- Oh, Lizzie!

Don't you Lizzie me,
you thieving, lying Jew.

Oh, dear.

That's no way to talk to a clergyman
in the Church of England.

I shall just have to leave you alone
to reflect quietly about your...

marital duties.

Another drink might put you
in a better temper.

Oh, you're down to the dregs, my dear.

So, don't stay too long repenting.

And when you've decided to do
as God commands,

and obey your rightful spouse...

just give me a call.

I'll come and let you out.

With one thing and another, Madame Max,
I feel I have no friends left in London.

Except you.

And you won't have me much longer,
Mr Finn, if you carry on whining like that

Surely you are too much of a man to crample

just because The People's Banner
is attacking you.

It's not just The Banner.

It's Bomeen.

I hate him from the bottom of my heart
and he hates me.

But for some reason, he has now
become a man who is listened to,

so from now on, I shall never achieve office
except over his dead body.

Are you sure you will receive no place
in this reorganisation of Mr Gresham's?

As sure as I possibly can be
without asking Gresham to his face.

Madame Max, either I must have office
or I must go under before very long.

You yourself took that chance
when you chose to return, Mr Finn.

You cannot expect special treatment.

I expect only my deserts.

If every man got those, Mr Finn,

we are reliably informed
on the best authority

that no man should escape whipping.

However, as I have told you before,

there are those who feel you deserve
better than the birch.

So, do not give up hope yet

That's that

Difficulty is if we do change
to a system of decimal currency

that the result might very well
be inflationary.

- Oh, yes.
- Those with resources get richer.

Those without would get poorer
than ever...l suppose.

Yes, exactly.

Tell me, Adelaide, what do they think in your
part of the country about the tenpenny shilling?

Oh, it don't make no odds
where I come from.

We are still pretty much
on the barter system.

But you must have followed His Grace's
progress in this matter.

We are too busy following foxes!

I think this is more important
than foxes.

Let me try to explain this to you.

If we had 20 shillings in the pound,

now, that, of course,
is as it is at present.

But then if you have ten pennies in a shilling,
five farthings in a penny,

then instead of 960 of them,
you've got exactly...

one thousand in the pound.

We once had such an amusing game

trying to think up new names
for the farthing.

- What's wrong with farthing?
- It's a fourth part, you see.

The new term must mean a fifth part, you see,

because they would now all be
a fifth part of the new penny.

Yes, we thought of quints, pals,
pallisers...

One can hardly say, 'Buy my lovely,
two pints for three pallisers!'

'Here's two pals to buy yourself a lollipop!'

Or 'dead drunk on four pallisers!'

Well, can you? Can you think
of a good name for them, Adelaide?

There you are, Miss Palliser.
Try what you can do.

What about pistols?

It's certainly ...

I don't quite understand, my dear,

what connection there can be with
the term and the coin of the realm.

Look here. You want a name
that suggests a fifth part, right?

- Yes, that's right
- Pistol is the name countryfolk have

for the fifth leg of the stallion.

But just what are you now going
to do, Lady Eustace?

I have come to you for shelter,
Mrs Bonteen,

in the hope that you and Mr Bonteen
will know what is to be done.

You must be frozen!
You say he actually imprisoned you?

Threatened to starve me to death
unless I gave him £800.

Sit down, my dear.
But you didn't sign?

Excuse me.

Sign? Oh, no, no.

You were very brave, my dear lady,
very brave indeed.

Well, the thing is quite clear to me.

The man is cruel and rapacious.

And even criminal in character.

There's no question
of you going back there.

Wherever you are,
you must have protection.

Can you not stay with friends, my dear?

- Well...
- You shall stay here, Lady Eustace.

For as long as you may find it
desirable to do so.

Necessary to do so.

And I will see what is to be done
about the Reverend Mr Emilius.

Oh, thank you so much.
You are both so generous.

One little difficutty, however.
What about your things, Lady Eustace?

You do not appear to have much luggage.

I escaped only with what I have on my back,
and luckily, with my chequebook.

If you could manage to accommodate me
with basic garments for a day or so

until I can send to my castle in Scotland
for all that I need.

Perhaps it might be best, my dear,
if you went and stayed there.

A castle sounds very reassuring.

Lady Eustace must have friends about her,
as you said.

Perhaps when this unhappy business
is over, Mrs Bonteen,

you and your husband will be my
special guests at Portray Castle.

That would be very nice, I must say.

But first, the immediate problem
is to take action against Emilius

and ensure that never again
does he trouble Lady Eustace.

My dear Lady Glen, I fear Mr Finn
is in a very, very bad way.

He came to me last night.
He almost crawled on the floor before me.

- In adoration?
- Alas, no.

In chagrin,
at his Party's neglect of him.

What's become of that Irish buoyancy?

What there was has been punctured
by The People's Banner

and now finally deflated by Mr Bonteen.

So, what we need to do
is pump some air back into Mr Finn.

l see, yes.

The air he needs is applause.

Say rather esteem?

Esteem. And esteem comes from office.

Well, I am doing my best for him,
Marie.

If all else fails...

...l've got one card up my sleeve,
it will be a very tricky one to play.

- I shall keep it until there's nothing left.
- Yes, Lady Glen?

It occurs to me that instead
of reinflating Mr Finn directly,

one might do better
to deflate Mr Bonteen,

thereby removing the enemy and leaving...

some spare esteem
floating around for Mr Finn.

Dangerous game, Duchess.

I had thought that from now onwards,
you were going to eschew mischief.

To talk in a man's favour
or disfavour is one thing.

Plotting, Lady Glen, is another.

Well, one can't give up all one's
dear old habits straightaway.

Isn't it pretty, Marie?

Your Grace!

Does it sit heavily on your head, Glencora?

No.
No, they make lighter ones for women.

The only trouble is
one can hardly ever wear it.

So it wouldn't be fair, would it, Marie?

If I were deprived of all my other
amusements merely for this.

Later this afternoon, Miss Palliser,

I thought you might enjoy a visit
to Westminster Palace.

I have some purchase there.
I could show you around a bit.

I think I'd sooner stay here, Lord Fawn.

I feel more at home.

Ah! What a beauty!

- Afternoon, Fawn.
- Good afternoon, Maule.

This is Mr Gerard Maule, Miss Palliser.
Miss Adelaide Palliser.

You must be very pleased
with him, Mr Maule.

I am rather. I got him cheap
from a fellow who had to...

get out in a hurry.

He's badly under-exercised.

He shouldn't be. I come out on him
whenever I can spare the time.

A young horse needs regular exercise,
Mr Maule,

not just to be trotted out
when you happen to fancy.

I do my best for him
but it ain't always convenient.

Then you ain't doing your best for him.

A man must suit himself
as well as his horse, Miss Palliser.

Good afternoon to you.
Afternoon, Fawn.

Who is that young man?

I told you when I introduced him.
Mr Gerard Maule.

Yes, I know, but what kind of man?
What does he do?

He's the kind of man he sounded like,
and he does absolutely nothing.

He don't even ride his horse regular.

Of course he doesn't.
He's never up before 12.

He only rides in the afternoon.

When he has no more
mischievous engagement.

Now, Miss Palliser,
about Westminster Palace,

one afternoon next week, perhaps?

I'm not sure, Lord Fawn.

I have an idea that my afternoons
next week are all taken up.

Very good to see you again, my Lord.

You must be very pleased
to be home again.

Home? I shall never feel
at home again in my life.

You shall go down to Brentford,
shall you not?

Brentford will be as bad as this.

Why not go to Lord Chittem
at Harrington?

- That's a comfortable house.
- I hate horses and dogs. I won't go there!

- I hope Lady Laura is well.
- No, she's not!

How should she be well?

She'll be down here directly.

She is just getting herself up.

I suppose that husband of hers
really is mad.

- It would appear so.
- He tried to shoot you, didn't he?

And very nearly succeeded.

What do we do now?

The lawyers say if Laura tries for
a separation, all this must come out.

That need not matter on my account.

- It's widely enough known already.
- He keeps all her money!

You know that?
£40,000, all for nothing!

The money was settled, I suppose.

On her children. Of course,
it comes back to her if he dies first.

But madmen never do die.

They have nothing to trouble them,
so they live for ever.

I think there is a great deal
troubling Mr Kennedy, Lord Brentford.

I'm glad to hear it.

Meantime, she doesn't get a penny
of her income - not one penny!

Phineas.

Yes, well, I'm feeling rather tired.

I think I'll have a rest before dinner.

Though what sort of dinner they'll put up,
I hardly dare to think!

So these are stirring times, I hear.

Mr Palliser a duke and soon
to be banished from the Exchequer.

Are there other changes?

Yes, Lord Camlip is to go higher.

And Legge-Wilson
and possibly Sir Harry Coldfoot.

- And you, Phineas?
- I fancy, Laura...

indeed to tell you the truth at once -

I know they do not intend
to do anything for me.

- Who has said so?
- Nobody ever says things of that kind.

One knows.

Never mind all that, Laura.
I'd much rather hear about you.

There's little to hear about us.

Our lives turn on dreary letters from lawyers
about separation and money.

Perhaps we should have stayed
in Dresden.

Indeed, I should have made Papa stay
had it not been for one thing.

You will be true, won't you, Phineas?
We shall have few friends in London.

We look to you to bring us the news
every day from the House.

The way things are with me, Lady Laura,

I shall know as much
as you may read in your newspaper.

I say, Fawn, that Palliser girl
I saw you with in the park,

how long is she up in London?

I think that is between her and her hostess,
the Duchess of Omnium.

I should have thought she'd be happier
in the country.

Good girl with horses
though a bit strid for my taste.

Your taste, sir? You have none.

What do you know of her, Dolly?

Distant cousin of Planty Pal's.
Come up to London to be shown about.

Not much else.
Except she ain't got a bean of money.

Something about her, though.

And she does know a horse
when she sees it.

I wonder I've never seen her riding.

She goes out before breakfast,
like the good country girl she is.

You'd have to get up early
if you fancy a ride with her.

I never fancy a ride with anyone
till after I've had my lunch.

And I'm not going to change
my habits, Dolly,

just for a penniless Palliser.

Good afternoon. Mr Maule.

Let's see, now,
Miss Palliser, ain't it?

The young lady that insists
on regular exercise for horses.

Certainly I do. What's more, Mr Maule,
they should take it in the morning.

- They prefer it then.
- Then why are you taking it in the afternoon?

- Well, I ain't a horse.
- Ah.

But your horse is a horse and you say
one should do what they prefer.

Horses like a change now and then,
Mr Maule, like men and women.

- Yours should change to the morning.
- Then I shouldn't have met you.

You've changed to the afternoon.

There you go again, Mr Maule,
thinking of anything but your horse.

As it happens, I was thinking of you,
Miss Palliser.

So if you will tell me what time
will suit your horse for the future,

I'll see whether
it mightn't suit mine as well.

A right old game of musical chairs
going on at Whitehall at the moment.

A right old game.

- Planty.
- Hm?

Could you oblige me by asking
the Prime Minister

if he could find a post for Mr Finn?

My dear, I never interfere.

That's what everyone says
and everyone interferes,

otherwise nothing
would ever be settled.

You're not asking
for anything spectacular.

Just a junior office.
I know there are plenty vacant.

I don't think Mr Gresham
altogether trusts Mr Finn at the moment.

- But you trust him, Plantagenet?
- Yes, I'd like to do something for him.

- Good.
- Let me tell you this.

I know very well what will happen then.

Mr Gresham will almost
certainly consult Mr Bonteen.

Then he will consult
a very disagreeable man.

He's been a great help to me
over decimal coinage.

We may very well need him
to go to the Exchequer.

So, his wishes must be considered.

If Mr Bonteen is to be Chancellor,

I don't see why he should begrudge
a minor post to Mr Finn.

Cora, I can promise you nothing.

One day, Mr Finn will come into his own.

He's young. He must be patient, bide his time.

He's poor and time is not on his side.

I do not interfere.

The lawyers and I have now consulted
in full, Lady Eustace.

What it comes down to is this.

Your first possible course
is to buy off Mr Emilius

by allowing him a half of your income.

Now, if you do this,
he undertakes never to see you again

or to pres any further claims
as your husband.

Half is rather a lot.

But you would be rid of him, my dear.

You could leave here
and go about in safety.

Or, Lady Eustace, if you don't
want to pay him the money,

then you have a second course open.

You can investigate
the persistent rumours

that he still has a first wife living in Prague.

You knew of these rumours, I think.

- Yes, but he denied them.
- And his word is worth nothing.

And it was rather naive of you,
my dear, to believe in it.

Be that as it may,

if bigamy can be proved against him,
then you are quit of him altogether.

Then that's the ticket!

The investigation, I need hardly add,
will cost money.

But when it is done,
it'll all be over for good.

If we succeed.
And of this I have good hopes.

In the meantime, when Mr Emilius
finds out what we are doing,

it will put him in a very dangerous mood.

But you will protect me, Mr Bonteen?

I will do more than that.
You will be safe here in my house.

I have influence, of course, to ensure that

And having ensured it,
I myself shall go to Prague.

Oh, Mr Bonteen! Oh, my true knight!

And start the search
for this wretched woman.

But it must be done soon,

as any day now, I expect
to be called to the Exchequer

and then I shall have graver affairs
to attend to.

Well, other grave affairs to attend to.

Then pray, Mr Bonteen, go at once.

I shall go at the first possible moment.

But I must be here for the debate
on disestablishment.

I shan't have time to fit in
a visit to Prague before then

as I have a very important dinner

with the Duke of Omnium and others
next Wednesday.

- Important dinner?
- Very.

It is then I expect to be told the date

on which I am to assume office
as Chancellor.

That is all very well
but why have I not been invited?

It's a political dinner, my dear.

Besides, you must understand it is
not the custom in higher circles

necessarily to invite
wives with their husbands.

Rather the reverse, in fact.

Mr Monk.

I think one of the nice things
about small dinner parties

is one is not obliged to ask bores
to make up the table.

- One need only ask one's friends.
- We are all very honoured to be here, Duchess.

You always sing so charmingly,
Mr Longslaffe.

Even if his song is in a different key
later on at the Bear Garden.

Touche'!

And no evening would be
the same without Mr Finn.

Isn't it so, Madame Goesler?

Mr Finn is one of the best listeners
in London, Lady Glenoora.

And one who can speak to the point
when he wishes, like all lrishmen.

Though some lrishmen have a way of
talking right round the point, Finn.

- And the wrong point at that.
- You are an expert on the Irish?

Only on some.

On those in the House, for example.

I fear we are not representative,
Mr Bonteen.

But you are, Finn. The wretched state
of your country makes that plain enough.

Naughty words, Mr Bonteen.

Tell me, what steps would you take
to cure the ills of Ireland?

The ills of a country
can only be cured, Duchess,

by sound financial administration.

You must have honest and competent
men to manage the funds.

But first you must have funds to manage.

Quite right, Monk.

And to get the funds
you must have a product.

In short, Ireland needs a product.

You sum it up both neatly
and forcefully, Mr Bonteen.

But surely it is up to Ireland herself
to find the product.

- You gentlemen in the Cabinet...
- I'm not actually in the Cabinet, Lady Glencora.

Not yet, Mr Bonteen, but I think
we can take that for granted.

As I was saying, you gentlemen
in the Cabinet can do much,

but surely it is up to Ireland herself

to find the product and produce it.

If we leave it to the Irish
themselves, Lady Glen,

then nothing will be done for 10,000 years!

No, what I propose to do is this.

I shall set up a special committee,

which will first consider in detail

the economic affairs of Ireland,

and which will then consult
wilth the Board of Trade.

This way, we shall be able to
determine what is best for the Irish

and the best way of making them do it.

Brilliant.
Quite brilliant, Mr Bonteen.

But tell me, how will you get
the Board of Trade to cooperate?

You forget, Lady Glenoora, that I am
- thank you - the Board of Trade.

At this moment, yes, but by the time
of which we are speaking,

you will perhaps have left it
for higher things.

The Board will not have forgotten me,
I think.

It can hardly refuse to cooperate
with the Exchequer.

And the Irish, Mr Bonteen,
are you sure they will cooperate?

Well, it's up to people like you, Fawn...

It's up to people like you, Finn,
to see that they do.

Erm... What men have you in mind
for your committee?

I propose to bring in with me

Parrish, Weatherby and Postem
in junior positions...

...and to obtain a rather more
ample place for Ford Lawn.

- You mean...
- Lord Fawn.

You'd like these men
to take some of the load

while you carry on with
the decimal coinage for Palliser.

The decimal coinage Will, of course,
have a place in our affairs.

But it will not be my way,
Lady Glenoora,

to confine myself to pursuing the policies
of the previous Chancellor,

much though I respect him...no.

What I propose...no.

Lady Glencora... I must sllike out
a new line for myself.

Several new lines, in fact.

This Irish business is only one
venture amongst many.

No, it is my considered intention
to conduct a full inquiry

into the organisation of
our major banking houses,

to say nothing of the Stock Exchange
and the Acceptance Markets.

I shall also investigate
bucket-shop moneylending.

The truth is, Gresham,

I feel you are going much too fast
in regard to Mr Bonteen.

I understood Palliser wished it.

Mr Bonteen has gifts of intellect
which would fit in for the Exchequer.

- But...
- Well, then, Duke?

The man himself, suspect.

He has let the whole thing go to his head
before it is even settled.

He has been given good reason to think
that he will get the Exchequer

short of an absolute promise.

- Even so, he presumes too much.
- No doubt, he's a very useful man.

I don't think he has quite that quality

which one would wish to find
in a member of a Cabinet

You mean, Duke, that he ain't bred for it.

I mean, Erie, that among other things,

Mr Bonteen has conceived an irrational
hostility for a young man we all know,

Mr Phineas Finn.

Now, on balance, I think that Mr Finn

should be given
some small encouragement now.

Mr Bonteen? Resolute against it.

But you can hardly suggest, Duke,

that just because Bonteen
would deny a place to Finn,

we should deny
the Exchequer to Bonteen.

Well, I do suggest that Mr Finn
would adorn a low post

better than Mr Bonteen
would adorn a high one.

- At least Finn has manners.
- The ladies appreciate them.

- Some more than others, it seems.
- He also has intellect.

Very swift powers
of asimilating new knowledge.

And new ideas to go with them, Duke.

Which don't always make for loyalty,
Prime Minister.

Precisely. I understand he nearly backed
Daubany on disestablishment

against his own party.

Finn has decided to run straight about that.

I'm pleased to hear it.
My point is he should never consider doing else.

- He listens to Monk, you know.
- I desire that he should listen to us.

Very well, Gresham.
You think that Finn should be given longer

to show his loyalty
before being given office.

And I don't think Palliser and I
would quarrel about that

But we do most seriously quarrel with
the idea of Bonteen as Chancellor.

Yet it was Palliser -
Omnium, I should say -

who virtually proposed this.

I do assure you, Prime Minister,
I've had every reason to change my mind.

- The man is unstable.
- In other words, he ain't bred.

If l nevertheless say, Omnium,
that Bonteen is my own choice?

Then, regretfully, both His Grace and I

must decline to serve any further
on your Cabinet

l see-

Rule out Bonteen, Duke,
and the field is very thin.

- Plinlimmon.
- Good man.

Although without experience
of financial affairs.

Legge-Wilson.

More of a Treasurer than a Chancellor.

Steady and accurate but he was
a competent financial secretary.

Very qualified recommendations.

Better Mr Slow And Steady than a damn
inflated pig's bladder bouncing about.

- Strong words, Duke.
- And meant to be.

Very well.

Concerning Bonteen,
since both Your Graces insist,

I shall be wise to oblige you.

Legge-Wilson as Chancellor
will at least oount up the money right.

Bonteen will stay at the Board of Trade,
therefore outside the Cabinet.

He'll be very put out, I fancy.

May he console himself
by reflecting that nothing whatever

is to be given to Phineas Finn.

- Or, at any rate, not yet?
- Now, gentlemen...