Original subtitles

[Upbeat jazz music]

[Happy classical music]

[Arthur] Paper, paper!

Good grief.

Read all about it.

How did we ever get stuck with you, Albert?

It's cause I'm always on the spot when needed.

Your daily leader, mr beresford, sir.

Thank you.

Top of the morning miss tuppence.

Morning, Albert.

Mrs beresford, sir.

You seem a bit laden, darling.

Well, I thought I'd do kedgeree when we got home

this evening followed by rhubarb and junket

and spoonfuls of lovely gooey custard.

Good lord, just like school.

Are we really that desperate?

[Tuppence] Well, we haven't had a sniff of crime

for the last three weeks.

And a detective agency is supposed to detect,

not sit around reading the daily leader.

Or making kedgeree or junket

or custard, gooey or otherwise.

So in the meantime, I thought we needed cheering up.

Oh, do we? What did you have in mind?

I thought it was time we went dancing again.

Tuppence, my darling wife. My little help mate.

I am getting on a bit.

[Tuppence] Oh, you poor old thing.

Your sympathy is truly touching.

And you have two grey hairs in your eyebrows.

Not very observant. I have two grey hairs in one eyebrow.

- My right. - Your left.

My right, when I look in the mirror.

Oh but Tommy, you do dance so divinely darling.

Gently with the butter, tuppence.

When I was a nice young girl,

what a memory.

I was brought up to believe that men,

particularly husbands were very fond of drinking and dancing

and staying out half the night.

What a strange upbringing you had.

And that it took an exceptionally beautiful

and clever wife to keep him at home.

Oh well, there you are then.

Am I? Where, exactly?

You are an exceptionally beautiful and clever wife

and I'm kept at home and go to bed at half past ten.

Perhaps you'd like a little dog

to bring you your slippers.

Good idea.

Oh no, but Tommy to be absolutely honest,

uh-huh, I knew it, an ulterior motive.

I want to go to the three arts ball.

Oh no, not the three arts ball.

Well it's for charity, darling.

Which my upbringing taught me began at home.

In this instance, it is a home for distressed gentlemen.

Well, in that case, book me a room.

Oh right, we go.

But tuppence, think, think. The three arts ball.

Fancy dress, tepid champagne. The battle of the bread rolls.

Well, it's not purely for pleasure that I want to go.

I'm intrigued by an advertisement.

Kindly turn to the personal column of the daily leader.

Oui, mon capitan.

Now. Eighth insert down, second column. What does it say?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

I should go. Three hearts, 12 tricks.

Ace of spades, necessary to finesse the king.

What do you make of it?

Rather an expensive way to learn bridge, I should think.

You know Tommy, I sometimes wonder if you

pretend to be dumb on purpose or are you?

Um, it's a coded message of some sort.

Well done.

My guess is that three hearts is the three arts ball.

[Tuppence] Obvious.

Thank you very much.

[Tuppence] That's tomorrow. 12 tricks is 12 o'clock.

Midnight.

Well, obviously midnight you chump.

You don't give a charity ball during the lunch hour.

[Laughs] Yes.

The ace of spades.

Oh, not that dingy basement club in

Chelsea where we went just after we were married?

[Tuppence] That's the one.

Where the mouse ran round and round

the stool like a dirt track rider?

I couldn't bear to look.

[Tommy] With screened off booths.

You didn't seem to mind.

Um, hmm. Yes.

But what is the ace of spades to do with a three arts ball?

It's where you revellers go at the shank end of the evening

to eat bacon and eggs, Welsh rarebit and that sort of thing.

- Or kedgeree. - Very witty.

All in fancy dress?

Of course. Masks and everything.

How frightful.

So three hearts is the three arts ball,

12 tricks is 12 midnight

and the ace of spades is the ace of spades.

Absolutely brilliant.

Yes, but what does it mean necessary to finesse the king?

Well, that's what I thought we could find out.

I mean, as a detective agency

we could do with a bit of practise.

Ah, but if it's tomorrow,

how do we get fancy dress this late?

Oh, I've got them already.

I was a fool to ask. What are they?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

Oh, not bad.

I shall look pretty nifty in a deer stalker with

a meerschaum pipe clenched in my manly jaws carrying a

violin case and hypodermic thingamy around my neck.

[Cheering and party horns]

Go on, admit it.

Admit what?

You're enjoying every minute of it.

Utter rot.

I'm a bored husband dragged out against his will.

Jolly hot in all this padding.

Oh, but you do dance, dance, dance divinely.

That's because I love you.

Oh, it's so nice being out with you.

And you do say you do.

Home, Sherlock?

Tommy, what time is it?

Quarter to 12.

12 tricks. Ace of spades.

Woo hoo!

Yoo-hoo!

How are you?

Oh good, still a den of inequity.

Oh hello my dears, sit down. That's right.

We have bacon and egg or Welsh rarebit.

Ooh, lovely, Welsh rarebit please.

Bacon and eggs for me, please.

And coffee too, or lemonade?

- Um, coffee please. - One gin.

I beg your pardon.

Oh, coffee's gin, dear.

It's served up in cups just in case the coppers drop by.

- What is tea? - Whiskey.

And what is lemonade?

Lemonade's lemonade. That's for them what don't indulge.

Lemonade, please.

Yes, yes, I'll have lemonade too. We've indulged enough.

So that's one bacon and egg, one Welsh rarebit

and two lemonades, I shan't be a tick.

I wonder which our people are.

Columbine and pierrot?

[Tommy] The gypsy and the battleship?

More of a fast cruiser, I'd say.

I say, look at that.

A rather good get-up, that.

Rather.

Escorted by a gentleman dressed in a newspaper,

courtesy of Alice in wonderland.

[Tommy] I saw him at the ball.

Daily leader, I expect.

Where?

Tommy, do brighten up a bit.

I mean his costume was made out of the daily leader.

Oh, isn't it lovely? Scandals all round us.

It's a hell of a din.

[Shrieking]

What about that nymph?

Where?

[Tommy] Just coming in with the comic frenchman.

Oh, could be. But then it could be anybody.

Where do you think he's going?

[Tommy] To hurry up the drinks, I expect.

I hope our food won't be long. I'm famished.

- Tell you what. - What?

Let's not detect anymore, we're enjoying ourselves too much.

[Tommy laughs]

Why so serious all of a sudden?

I don't know. I have a strange feeling.

What about?

All in order? There we are now.

There's one Welsh rarebit and one bacon and eggs.

And two lemonades. Enjoy, dears.

Thank you.

I have a feeling there's something

wrong in the next booth.

Oh?

First a cry, then a laugh.

The two things didn't seem to go together.

And then the man strolling out. Too nonchalant.

- On his own. - Yes, why?

I don't know. Let's go and see.

[Crowd chattering]

[Gasps]

[Dramatic chord]

Oh Tommy, quick. She's still alive.

See if there's a doctor outside and then call the police.

Don't touch the handle of that dagger, darling.

I know. I'll be careful.

My dear, can you tell me who did this?

It was.

Bingo.

Bingo?

Yes. He's who did it.

[Hyperventilating]

[Growling]

I, I think she's dead.

[Doctor] We'd better leave things

as they are until the police come.

I'm sorry we meet again in these circumstances.

I'm glad it's you, inspector.

We still haven't been able to

find out who the poor lady is.

No identification except for her costume

and the outfitters won't be open at this time of night.

Yes, doctor.

She died of the stab wound, which penetrated the heart.

In your opinion, could it have been self-inflicted?

Possibly, yes, but not very probable.

Now, mrs beresford.

What made you go into that particular booth?

Tommy and I, well no, I'll begin at the beginning.

We came here straight from the three arts ball and soon

after we had settled in our booth, I heard a woman cry out.

[Inspector] What sort of cry?

Difficult to say.

It could have been a cry of surprise.

- Or of pain? - Possibly.

Followed by laugh from a man.

Then we thought no more about it.

When suddenly I had a funny feeling

that everything wasn't according to hoyle.

This man who was outfitted as a newspaper, he wore a mask?

[Tuppence] Yes.

So I suppose you wouldn't recognise him.

I'm afraid not. Tommy?

No. Apart from his costume.

Yeah. And, and his laugh.

Of course, we'd seen him earlier at the ball.

Yes, sergeant halliday.

Sir, one of the women what runs this place said

the customer dressed as a newspaper

skedaddled soon after he came.

Ah, bet he did.

Without ordering nothing, sir.

So who is the lady in there?

I thought you knew?

There was no identification.

No, but her photo appears in all the society magazines,

the tatler, the sporting and dramatic, that sort of thing.

But not in the police gazette, I don't suppose.

So who is she?

Lady vere merivale, inspector. I'd recognise her anywhere.

- Even dead? - Yes.

Righto.

There's no reason to keep you, mr and mrs beresford.

Thank you, inspector.

I need you for a bit doctor.

Sergeant halliday, telephone headquarters

and find out where we can get hold of, who would he be?

Sir Arthur merivale.

Sir Arthur merivale.

Right, sir.

This way, doctor.

Now darling, are you sure that's what she said?

Yes. Bingo did it.

Come on, lets get out of here.

[Sombre music]

Almost dawn.

I'm sorry, darling.

Sorry? What on earth are you sorry for?

Dragging you through the three arts ball

and the ace of spades.

You weren't to know what was to happen.

But I was intrigued. That's my weakness.

And your strength.

What really made you suspicious about

the goings on in that next booth?

The laugh, I think.

It sort of rang hollow.

And coming after the girl's cry.

That's it. Simple, my dear Watson.

[Sombre music]

Ah, mrs beresford.

I'm sorry to get you up so early, after last night.

Not at all, inspector.

This is mrs beresford, sir Arthur.

Like I told you, she found your wife

at the ace of spades last night.

Sir Arthur merivale.

Good morning, mrs beresford.

I'm so sorry, sir Arthur.

Thank you.

I can't believe and I won't believe that

captain hale could have hurt vere in any way at all.

Least of all.

Sir Arthur was very hard to convince.

Bingo hale was one of our closest friends.

We were at eton and Cambridge together.

Hell, he practically lived with us.

You must have been mistaken.

I'm afraid not sir Arthur. Your wife said it was bingo.

I said, bingo? She said, yes. Bingo did it.

You see, sir.

That's absolutely incredible.

What possible motive could he have had?

Well, if what I heard is true,

I know what you're thinking, inspector marriott.

You think that hale was my wife's lover.

Possibly no more than a rumour. I realise that...

The three of us had gone about together for years.

Where did he go after the ace of spades?

Well, we arrested him at

sir Arthur's house earlier this morning.

I came home by myself last night after the ball,

my chauffeur can verify that.

He already has, sir Arthur.

Exactly.

Bingo said that he was going to

go on to that club, whatever it's called.

Well, that's what he said he was going to do.

May I ask, did anyone know

lady merivale was going to be there?

Well, I certainly didn't. And I don't understand it.

As far as I knew, she was still

at our country seat in cornwall.

It's not a very pleasant thing to say, sir Arthur.

I believe captain hale had been paying a lot of attention to

a certain young American lady of late.

Well, it's news to me.

Anyway, gentlemen don't discuss

their paramours with each other.

If lady merivale had become jealous

and say, threatened to stop the affair,

you're talking out of your hat, inspector.

It's no good supposing this or that. We need proof.

What exactly were you doing there, mrs beresford?

Oh, well the same as everyone else.

We went there to pick up a snack after the three arts ball.

[Inspector] No other reason?

Yes, actually.

The day before I'd come across an intriguing

message in the personal column of the daily leader.

[Inspector] Addressed to who?

[Tuppence] It didn't say.

From?

[Tuppence] Again, it didn't say.

Do you still have the paper?

As a matter of fact I have.

Oh no, no it's at the office, but I can remember it.

Would you tell us?

It said I should go three hearts, 12 tricks,

ace of spades necessary to finesse the king.

You're a bright young lady, mrs beresford.

What did you make of it?

Well, three hearts, the three arts ball.

12 tricks, 12 o'clock. Ace of spades, obvious.

But finessing the king stumped us.

Whoever wrote that, was obviously not a bridge player.

Anyhow, it looks as if it was inserted

to catch lady merivale's eye.

Do you read the daily leader, sir Arthur?

No, not very often. My wife does, did.

For myself, I favour the morning post.

Probably lady merivale and captain hale

had already arranged to meet at the ball.

Excuse me, sir Arthur. I know it's no business of mine.

But when exactly did you decide

to go to the three arts ball?

Three art shindig? Let me think.

Um, mm. Yesterday was Thursday.

Bingo said he was going to go on Monday

and he does a lot of work for charity.

I said I would pick out the costume and go too.

Did he make any comment on your decision?

No, not that I remember.

Good show, possibly, something like that. I don't recall.

That might explain the phrase

necessary to finesse the king.

To warn lady merivale that you were

going to be at the ball, too.

Doesn't sound like bingo at all.

And you went as?

Me? Oh, the devil.

It was the only costume that the place had left, actually.

You know the sort of thing.

Yes. Yes. I think I saw you.

Well, I don't have a very clear picture.

Oh, long red cloak, a mask, red gloves,

sort of head dress thing got up to look like flames

and a fork tail stuck in the back of the cloak.

But not a dagger?

Of course not. Please talk sense.

I'm trying to solve a murder, sir Arthur.

Yes I know, I'm sorry.

Please forgive me. I'm very much upset.

Naturally I'm on edge, but I'm afraid I can't help you.

Well, thank you for coming

to hear what mrs beresford had to say.

Not at all. I still don't believe it.

One further point, sir Arthur.

There was a fragment of newspaper

found in lady merivale hand.

No doubt mrs beresford noticed it.

No, I'm afraid I didn't. But then, I was quite upset.

Of course.

What does a fragment of newspaper prove?

A man dressed as a newspaper attacks a woman,

the woman, in an effort to defend herself,

grabs at him and tears off a corner of his costume.

Yes. Yes. I see that. Yes, go on.

My men already have orders to take

captain hale's costume away from your house.

If there is a tear in it that fits

the piece of paper found on your wife's person.

Well, it'll be the end of the case.

Well, you won't find it. I know bingo hale.

Of course you may be right, sir Arthur.

I apologise again for disturbing you, mrs beresford,

but it was unavoidable.

Of course.

- Good day. - Good day.

We'll see ourselves out.

Oh Tommy, you shouldn't have.

Why not?

I was done out of my bacon and eggs last night.

[Tuppence] And lemonade.

Yes, well, I thought more coffee

would be appropriate this morning.

Did you hear everything?

Just about. I'd say bingo hale was in for it.

Oh, only if marriott's theory is correct.

I mean, he said, if what I've heard is true.

Oh you mean about captain hale

being lady merivale's lover.

Yes. Now, who do you think he's heard that from?

One of the servants of the house, possibly.

Are men really so stupid as to

have affairs with their best friend's wives?

Quite commonplace, I'd say.

- Really? - Mmm.

And who's your best friend?

You, my dearest.

Tommy! No, but seriously.

I am serious.

But surely not in the best friend's house.

In situ as it were? I really wouldn't know darling.

You see, it's never happened to me yet.

Well, marriott seemed convinced that it's captain hale,

so the case ends there, as far as we're concerned.

We better get to the office in a minute.

See what a new day has to offer.

- Right, yes. - What?

There's something wrong somewhere.

And I'm damned if I know where.

Well, you know what you're like.

St. Paul. It'll come to you in a blinding light.

Eat up.

Yes, but what did he say, Albert?

If I don't tell it me own way, mr b, I'll get it wrong.

[Tuppence] Yes, Albert, he was a small man, about 50?

On the small side, I said.

Something between a dwarf and a giant

that's it, mr b.

Did he give you his name?

What he gave me was a cigarette card.

Cigarette card?

I think it was, I didn't really look at it yet.

Oh Albert, that's a visiting card.

Just as you say.

Huey telling, solicitor?

Verity, bilton and hackett, Lincoln's inn fields.

And he said he'd be ever so obliged

if you'd get in touch with him.

Did he seemed genuine?

In what way, mrs b?

How did he appear to you?

Well, he was on the small side.

Yes, yes, you've told us that already.

Nicely got up, white shirt, stripe trousers,

black jacket, bowler hat, umbrella.

What about the colour of his socks?

Black, with an arrow. Black shoes, black tie,

alright, Albert, alright.

Well, you tell me to be observant.

Yes, thank you Albert.

We will telephone the gentleman later.

[Albert] Oh yeah, there was one other thing.

Yes?

He said he was representing a captain hill.

Hill?

Are you sure he didn't say hale?

That's right. Hale.

Was there a number on the visiting card?

Yes. Oh, damn.

Old wood. One five, nine two.

But how did you know about us?

Inspector marriott told my solicitor,

Mr. Telling, about you.

That you'd be called as witnesses when I come to trial.

We've already made a statement.

We have nothing more to add.

The inspector also said you run a detective agency.

He considers you very capable.

That's very kind of him.

So, I asked my solicitor if you'd

be willing to come and see me.

Yes, well I.

Naturally I'd pay you whatever the going rate is,

whatever, well, happens to me.

Oh no, no, no. It's not the money.

It's the results we care about.

So, captain hale, what do you think we can do for you?

Well you see, everything the police say so far is true.

You don't mean that.

Except for one thing. I did not kill vere.

But you were at the three arts ball?

[Bingo] Yes.

As a gentleman dressed in a newspaper?

[Bingo] Yes.

Made out of copies of the daily leader?

[Bingo] I don't really know.

The merivale's housekeeper ran it up for me.

Why?

What do you mean, why?

[Tuppence] Why that particular costume?

She said she was a great reader of Alice in wonderland

and would that be a good idea?

I said yes.

[Tommy] And then you went on to the ace of spades.

No.

But we saw you there.

Yes. In the booth next to ours.

No.

You knew that lady merivale was going to be there.

Yes, all that was arranged.

[Tuppence] The message in the

personal column of the daily leader?

Yes. I put that in.

So your liaison with her was a fact.

Yes, I well, worshipped her.

Why didn't you go as arranged to the ace of spades?

Because somebody shoved a note into my hand at the ball.

[Tommy] From?

- Vere, I presumed. - [Tommy] Saying?

Not to speak to her at the ball or come to

the ace of spades because Arthur suspected.

What happened to the note?

The note?

The note that somebody gave you.

Well, I don't know. I must have thrown it away.

Did you recognise the handwriting?

Well, I didn't think.

And besides we didn't write to each other,

is it true, captain hale, that you

were paying attention to another lady?

A rich American?

Not really.

Oh I knew her, and we were friends, but it was the

gossip columns in the papers that printed the rumour.

Did that upset lady merivale?

It did a bit, but we were very much in love

and hoped one day that we would be married.

[Tommy] Did sir Arthur know of this?

No, we were very discreet,

but we hadn't decided how to handle the situation.

But we saw lady merivale speak to you

and then go with you into the booth next to us.

- It wasn't me. Unless. - [Tuppence] Unless?

Unless I was so drunk or mad and

killed her without knowing what I was doing.

Did they show you the dagger?

[Bingo] Yes.

Had you seen it before?

[Bingo] I told the inspector I hadn't.

But you had.

Yes.

- It's mine. - Yours?

Yes. It belonged to my father who served in India.

I know this is a silly question, but how on earth

do you think it happened to be at the ace of spaces?

I honestly have no idea.

[Tommy] Where did you keep the dagger?

At my chambers in German street.

Is that where you used to meet lady merivale?

Captain hale.

We may or may not be able to help you,

but please, be frank with us.

In the strictest confidence of course.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yes. We met there quite often.

Did lady merivale ever go there by herself?

Yes. She had keys to the place.

[Tuppence] So she could have taken the dagger?

Yes, I suppose so.

If you didn't go to the ace of spades, where did you go?

Well, to begin with, I was pretty upset

at the note from vere, so I went on dancing.

Who with?

Well, I'm sorry.

By that time I'd had quite a bit of bubbly and was

dancing with, well, I'm not sure.

They were all wearing masks.

[Tuppence] What time did you leave the ball?

After the last dance, about, what would it be?

[Tommy] Carriages at one, the cards say.

Then it would be about one.

Mm. And then you went to sir Arthur's house?

- [Bingo] Yes. - Straight away?

No. I went with three other people to the corner house.

- [Tommy] Which one? - Strand.

[Tommy] Who were these people?

I don't know. We just drifted there, as I said.

Were you a bit tipsy?

- [Bingo] Yes. - More than a bit tipsy?

- [Bingo] Yes. - Blotto?

More or less.

I was upset at the note from vere and puzzled.

So much so that you could have

gone to the ace of spaces after all.

Anyhow, vere must've been dead by then, mustn't she?

Oh, when they arrested you,

did they tell you what time she died?

No. Look, I was at the corner house.

The strand. I couldn't,

but you have no witnesses that

you were there, captain hale?

No.

Were you still in your fancy dress?

[Bingo] Yes.

So if we advertise for anyone who'd seen a man

dressed in a newspaper at the strand corner house.

It's no good. I was wearing a burberry over it.

Yet an alibi is what we're looking for.

Was sir Arthur still up when you got home?

No, but he'd left a note saying he'd see me at breakfast.

[Tuppence] And the police arrived when?

Well, I don't know. I just dropped off to sleep.

When you eventually got out of your fancy dress, did you

notice that the corner of one of the sheets was missing?

Well, to tell you the truth, old man,

I was in no fit state to get undressed or anything else.

You know the police have taken away your costume?

Yes. So I gather. What that'll prove, I have no idea.

Well, captain hale.

We'll go away and put on our thinking caps.

Yes.

And if we come up with anything,

we'll let your solicitor know.

And if you think of anything, however small,

please don't hesitate to let us know.

Yes. Thank you.

It was very decent of you to come and see me.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Don't forget. I loved her. I couldn't have killed her.

[Sombre music]

The order of things.

Well, you've got that very neat little plan,

tea is served.

Did anyone call while we were out, Albert?

One phone call, mrs b. A man. Said he'd be round directly.

[Tommy] Didn't you ask who he was?

- Course I did. - [Tuppence] Who was he?

That copper what thinks you're behaving suspiciously.

Oh really, Albert, your sense of humour

will be the death of us.

Yes, or of you.

So when did the inspector say he'd be around.

Now.

Do we tell him we've seen captain hale?

I bet he knows.

Inspector marriott of Scotland yard.

What's he up to now?

I think he'd like to be playing a Butler.

The Butler did it, eh?

Yes.

Well you can tell he's a smart lad, because knowing

you were coming, inspector, he's put out an extra teacup.

Good. Just what I need.

Please.

Well, I thought you two would

like to know the latest developments.

We certainly would.

By the way, how did captain hale impress you?

Quite straight forward, we thought.

Yes, he's a plausible rogue.

Why do you say that?

Well, I've never known a clearer case.

I mean, the dagger was his.

How did you know that?

The Charlie at his chambers recognised it.

[Tommy] You've been pretty busy.

That's why we're called busies.

Well, it's best to get these sort of things

over with, don't you think?

We'll have his confession by nightfall.

Oh, so I won't have to be called as a witness?

There'll be no need.

[Tommy] He won't confess.

What makes you think that?

Because he knows he didn't do it.

Tuppence and I know a bit about that man.

He'll confess when I present him with

a piece of paper torn from his fancy dress.

It fits exactly.

- Exactly? - Exactly.

From Tuesday's daily leader.

I brought you round some photographs of the exhibits.

I thought you'd be interested.

[Tuppence] Oh, thank you.

This one is of captain hale's costume.

This is a closer one of the tear.

And this one is of the piece of paper

we found clutched in lady merivale's hand.

A perfectly clear case, wouldn't you say?

Oh yes. On the surface, it certainly looks like it.

What do you mean on the surface?

Well, there may be a piece of the Jigsaw missing.

Then let me know when and if you find it.

- Thanks for the cuppa. - Not at all.

I'll let you know if anything else crops up.

Thank you.

Goodbye mrs beresford.

- Oh, tuppence? - Hmm?

[Tommy] The inspector.

Oh, sorry. Goodbye inspector.

Goodbye.

Albert?

Come here Tommy. Look at this.

What do you make of those marks there?

Stitch marks I'd say. Where the sheets were sewn together.

[Tuppence] And what about these three stars here?

Just before the tear?

Well, some papers put special signs

on different editions and different days.

Why?

Well, i'm, I'm not at Liberty to divulge

the source of my information.

You mean you don't know.

There are times, tuppence, when

I really don't think we're very compatible.

Oh, I remember that I heard that

an early morning edition of the times had a crown on it.

One especially for Buckingham Palace.

Yes, and some papers place white dots on

certain black lettering at the top.

Oh, you're right darling. Look, there!

That's what I said.

Albert!

[Tommy] What are you up to now?

Did I hear my name?

We want you to collect all the copies

of the daily leader for the past week.

Where do I find them?

How about a newsagent?

They jettison old newspapers.

They what?

Throw them out. Jettison.

Nip over to fleet street, take a taxi.

And bring them back here?

[Tommy] Of course bring them back here, nitwit.

I'm on my way.

Am I right in thinking you're onto a hunch?

- The wherewithal. - [Tommy] The what?

The Luca. The brass for the taxi metre cabriolet?

Why can't you just say money, Albert?

Cheers, guv.

Why do you think inspector marriott

keeps saying it's a perfectly clear case.

Smug satisfaction, I expect.

I don't think so.

I think he's trying to get us rattled.

[Tommy] Rattled?

Well, no, but you know, put us on the [speaks French].

Pourquoi?

Well, for instance, butchers know about meat.

Are you feeling alright, darling?

And grocers know about vegetables.

And fishermen about fish.

And Scotland yard detectives must know

all about criminals, so, in my humble opinion,

humble?

Inspector marriott's expert knowledge tells him

that captain hale isn't a criminal.

Yet all the facts are dead against him.

So as a last resort, he's getting us irritated.

Thereby hoping that some important detail from last night

will come back to us and throw a different light on things.

Exactly. I mean, why shouldn't it be suicide?

After what she said to you?

Ah yes, but look at it from a different way.

Huh?

I mean, it was bingo's doing, it was his conduct,

his waffling, his not making a decision

that drove her to it.

It's just possible.

Especially if he was messing about with that American woman.

And so she killed herself in front

of captain hale as a kind of gesture.

Hell hath, no fury like a woman scorned.

Having pinched his dagger from the hale chambers.

So quite naturally he would deny

ever having been at the ace of spades.

Well, there we are then. Suicide.

No, I don't believe it, do you?

No. And there's another thing.

[Tommy] What?

Well, there was the note from

lady merivale that somebody gave him.

Well, he said he'd thrown it away.

Yes, but who gave it to him?

A commissionaire, possibly?

But if captain hale was in fancy dress and a mask,

how did the commissionaire know who to give the note to?

Good point, darling.

Well, perhaps somebody went up

to the commissionaire and said, "give this note

to the gentlemen dressed as a newspaper."

And that somebody, this man or woman

must've known who the man dressed as a newspaper was.

Brilliant.

I'm a fool.

Yeah, there's no need to tell us.

I save all the papers.

What on earth for?

- For me cat. - Can it read?

Oh, don't lets get into it. Well done Albert.

I'll be off then.

Oh, just a minute. What about the taxi fare?

What fare? What taxi? I never took no taxi.

Oh, I'm sorry, Albert, but that's not honest.

And you'll have to go.

Oh, thanks guv.

I'll be off then. See you tomorrow. Toodle-oo.

Albert. Albert, just a minute.

What a wretched boy. Now, what are you up to Sherlock?

Not so simple, my dear Watson, but hey, look at this.

This is Tuesday's paper.

Tuesday. Now that was,

Tuesday, Tuesday, two days before the three arts ball.

Now what do you see?

Two stars and a hieroglyphic on the left

and two white dots on the t of the.

No denying that.

And this is Wednesday's paper. What do you see?

Three stars, no hieroglyphic

and one white dot on the t of the.

Well, I'm sure you're right, darling.

Well, don't you see?

Well yes, of course I do. No.

Oh, well then, look.

Here's a photo of the piece torn from the newspaper.

You see? It fits perfectly, but it's not the same paper.

One's Tuesday's and the other's Wednesday's.

Yes, you're right!

So our client captain hale must have realised

that a piece of his costume had been torn off,

but did not realise that had been torn off by lady merivale

and then tried to, oh no, no, no.

That's not right.

Tuppence.

I think we've got to have a chat with sir Arthur.

Oh my darling. You always have the best ideas.

You must forgive us for asking you here, sir Arthur.

But we've discovered something we think you ought to know.

Yes?

And we know how anxious you are to clear your friend.

When I was, but even I have to give in

to the overwhelming evidence.

What would you say, sir Arthur,

if we told you that we'd found a new piece of evidence,

that would completely clear captain hale?

I should be overjoyed.

Supposing we told you that we'd found the girl who was

with captain hale at the strand corner house last night.

Marvellous. Marvellous.

Do you know, I knew there was some mistake.

Oh, poor vere. She must have killed herself.

Hardly that. You forget the other man.

What other man?

[Tuppence] The man we saw leaving the booth next to ours.

I'm afraid I didn't follow.

Are you trying to say that there were two men

at the ball dressed as a newspaper?

No, not at the ball.

I'm afraid I'm thoroughly confused.

I, I don't think I could spend any more time.

May I give you my ideas on this subject?

When this second man saw an opportunity,

he asked the commissionaire to give captain hale a note.

The note telling him not to speak to a certain lady.

But the lady herself knows nothing of that note.

The note was certainly not written by lady merivale,

which is why she went to the ace of spades

to meet captain hale as arranged.

After the second man had seen lady merivale leave,

he followed and took a taxi to the ace of spades.

Tommy, what time is it?

Quarter to 12.

12 tricks. Ace of spades!

Car's this way, darling.

During the journey, he discards his devil's clothes

and assumes another disguise.

A man dressed in a newspaper.

All very cunningly planned by this second man.

Oh good, still a den of inequity!

Meanwhile, at the ace of spades, lady merivale

couldn't understand where captain hale had got to.

The man had discovered that lady merivale was an

unfaithful wife and had managed to get

into captain hale's chambers to steal the dagger.

Wait here, would you?

Lady merivale continues into the booth,

happily thinking her love is with her.

She puts out her arms.

He goes to her and embraces her.

During the embrace he stabs her.

She cries out.

He laughs,

And leaves the ace of spades.

Where do you think he's going?

To hurry up the drinks, I expect.

[Tuppence] So far, it was a fairly straightforward murder.

Albert hall, please.

But on his way back to the Albert hall,

he notices that a piece of paper of his getup

has been torn off by lady merivale.

That would present great difficulties.

Unless the men happened to be living in the same house.

Fortunately for him, they were.

This made things simplicity itself.

He makes an exact duplicate of the tear

in captain hale's costume.

He burns his own costume and then prepares

to play the part of the loyal friend.

[Dramatic music]

What do you think, sir Arthur?

A rather vivid imagination of a charming lady

who probably reads too many cheap novels.

[Tommy] You think so?

And a husband who is guided by his wife. [Laughs]

I don't fancy you'll find anyone

to take this matter too seriously.

I'd know that laugh anywhere.

So would I.

I heard it last at the ace of spades.

And you're under a misapprehension about both of us.

International detective agency.

So that's why inspector marriott

brought me here this morning.

It was a trap.

You're too clever by half, mrs beresford.

Why should you worry about an unfaithful wife

who gets her just desserts?

Tuppence!

[Suspenseful music]

Get back.

Stop him!

[Gunfire]

I'll go down and see to, um.

Poor devil. If he was fond of his wife...

Fond of her? That's as maybe.

He was at his wits end, where to turn for money.

Lady merivale had a large fortune of her own

and it would all have gone to him.

But if she'd bolted with young hale,

he'd never have seen a penny of it.

Oh, so that was it, was it?

It was.

Of course I sensed from the very start that sir Arthur

was a bad lot and that young hale was all right.

That's very smart of you inspector.

Well we pretty well know what's what at the yard,

but it's awkward when you're up against the fence.

Yes, it must be.

Well, I'll be going down now.

I'd give your young wife a glass of Brandy

if I were you, mr beresford,

she looks, as the saying goes, a bit white about the gills.

- Fishmongers. - Butchers.

Detectives. I was right, wasn't I darling?

As always.

Yes, marriott was definitely putting us on our metal.

A bold bid for game and rubber.

He finessed the wrong way round and arrested hale.

Even so, he lost the king.

[Upbeat music]