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That damn mistral wind!

Damn chewing-gum!

Unbelievable! He thinks my feet are a trashcan!

Nasty!

Julien!

Julien!

Julien, the coffee's ready!

If his poor mother saw this...

Julien! The coffee was hot,

but now, it's cold!

- Shut up! - Hello there, Charlie.

You're the postman!

Here.

That's disgusting! I'd rather have some seeds. Some seeds!

Charlie, how do I wake up that slacker?

It's time!

Young people aren't what they used to be.

Julien!

- Hi, dad. - What am I, chopped liver?

Hi, Charlie.

Do you know what time it is?

Don't worry, I'll still get there before you.

Civil servant!

Oh, that clock, I don't give a damn about it!

Hey, Robin!

You're starting the day a bit late.

Jean-Claude, can't you quiet down that damn machine?

You're polluting the air,

and you're destroying my eardrums!

You're annoying with that ecology stuff.

Annoying, am I?

Well, if I were a cop,

I'd give you a fine for noise pollution!

And not a small one. It'll make you turn bright red!

I don't know about turning red. Your farmhouse turned green!

There, have a look.

Oh, shit!

It was red, and now it's green...

Well, well...

Well, dad? You hanging around?

Cut it out, leave me alone!

POST OFFICE

- There you are, dad. - Yes, Julien.

Finish your work and you'll get a medal.

Hello, kids.

Hi, Robin.

- Hi, Gandolf. - Hi, Robin.

Well, Galoubet?

- You're sorting? - Someone has to.

Well then!

- Hello, Mr. Faliert. - Hello, Robin.

- What brings you here today? - The Western wind.

"The Western wind?"

- So, we're going for green now? - That's right... green.

The color of the president of the Var region's ecological movement.

Galoubet!

Be careful.

Plus, it's an official letter for the mayor.

- Sorry, it's my wrist, boss. - It's fine.

Thanks, boss.

Robin. Start your round at the town hall.

That's perfect, it just so happens I've got a bone to pick with the mayor.

- You won't take the car? - No. I prefer my bike.

Sure, that might make you laugh...

But I do everything I can so this village doesn't become a dumpster!

Galoubet... Come on, be careful.

Hey! Julien, I've already warned you!

Give me a kiss!

Hello.

- You alright? - Yes.

- Hi, how are you? - Fine, and you?

See you later, then.

I don't mind you squeezing me, but not like that!

Here.

- With you, anytime, anywhere! - And if Nicole agrees.

Hey, you! Move your ass!

Hey, Mr. Police Officer,

see how fresh my sea bream is?

- It's like it's speaking to you. - I can hear it, alright!

What's it saying?

Your fresh sea bream is saying it hasn't seen the sea in a long time!

You old good for nothing! Damn crazy bastard!

Why don't you look in a mirror?

- Robin, where are you going? - I've got a bone to pick with the mayor.

- Mr. Police Office. - Yes, kiddo?

- I've lost my mom. - How'd that happen?

I went to buy some ice cream and then she was gone.

What does your mom look like?

She's a brunette, tall, pretty, nice, and doesn't stop yelling at dad.

- What's your name? - Virginie.

Come on, Virginie, let's go find your mom.

- Never mind, she's right over there! - Which one is she?

The one kissing that sailor.

After this meeting, I've got eight marriages so hurry up.

So, first matter to discuss...

Oh, yes... Mr. Sahada's request for a building permit.

- Everyone agree? - Yes, fine.

No one opposes? Good, that's sorted.

There we go.

Moving on, now. We have... The supermarket's expansion permit.

That would kill all small businesses!

It won't kill anything! Plus, they'll hire 40 more people.

That's a strong argument for the election.

The fight against unemployment is very trendy.

Right, no problem.

- So... - Wait a minute.

- Robin, the Mayor is busy. - Doing what, exactly?

City council meeting, it's not the time to bother her.

- It's the perfect time to bother her! - Robin, don't go in there!

I'm not going in there, Miss Janine... I'm slipping in!

Hi, everyone!

- Hello, Chantal. - Look who's dropped by for a visit.

Robin, the nuisance, Bellefeuille, the postman,

or Robin Bellefeuille, the president of the ecological club.

It's all three!

There's no point asking if you know what color my house is this morning!

- Where's the wind blowing from? - Seems like a western wind.

- Yes, it's from the west! - Your house is green, then! Right?

You guessed right, Mr. Deputy Mayor! It's green because of the western wind!

I'm sick and tired of living in a chameleon house!

When the mistral wind blows, like today,

I get all the red dust from the La Garde-Freinet Brickwork.

Now, it's the western wind, so all the green dust covers my house!

It comes from the dye factory.

My house is white when east wind carries dust from the Gassin cement plant.

And it turns black when the Sirocco wind blows over my rooftop

smoke from the factory that burns all that garbage.

So...

I ask you...

what do you intend to do about it?

Nothing.

Of course we'll do something. We could move you to the city, sir.

To the Rainbow apartment complex.

Hey! You call me "sir" now, Mister Mayor?

We almost got married 25 years ago,

and now you call me "sir", like I'm a stranger!

Yeah, that was a close shave!

The mad euphoria of the 60s!

Robin, old pal, we're fed up with you and your ecology problems.

- Enough, already! - Yeah, Robin, let's be serious here!

Business is business for the good of the people.

Ecology is nice and all, but

it's not the main issue of the day.

I'm warning you all!

I'm at war with the chicken cages you're trying to build all over the place!

Against all the noise and toxins, polluting sidewalks, trees, and the sea!

And moral pollution, while you're at it!

Right, if all the people whose morals are polluted

had to go confess, the church would be full

and the city council would be empty!

Robin, come on now.

I'm going to shove my foot up your ass.

Don't hurt me too much,

otherwise, I'll be limping the day our kids get married.

Our kids?

Your son isn't with my daughter yet.

She's turning 18 in 28 days.

She won't need your permission anymore!

Nicolas!

Nicolas!

Yes, ma'am?

Get this citizen out of here before I throw him out of the country!

In the movies, there's nothing better than a kick-in-the-ass, pie-in-the-face joke.

Charlie Chaplin and De Funès were real experts!

Well, let me tell you... Apart from Marilyn Monroe,

I don't see anything cool about movies.

Let me explain. There are 32 ways of giving a good kick in the ass.

To throw a pie in the face, it's all in the wrist.

Here...

Watch this!

Hey, Mr. Film Buff, ever seen Chaplin unemployed?

Why?

Mail's here!

I'll show you for making fun of me!

Gag!

- Hi, Dominique. - Hi, Robin.

Yes, Mr. Mayor.

No, don't worry. We'll handle it.

Yes?

Yes.

- I had to get the parts in Toulon-- - Hi, Lambert.

Hi, Robin.

A turbo's not easy, you know.

Yes.

Yes, Mr. Dantec.

- What is it? - A registered letter.

- Probably the tax collector. - Oh, shit! No, not you, Mr. Dantec!

Yes.

For seven o'clock? Wait, I'll check.

- Dominique! - Coming!

- Yes, Mr. Lambert? - Mr. Dantec's car...

Will it be ready by 7:00 p.m.?

Sure, no problem. It's almost ready.

It's quite a bombshell!

Well, it was a bombshell...

And now?

Now, it's more of a barbecued hot dog.

Right, I'm leaving. It's too noisy here.

And it smells like trouble.

Get out! Get out, I said!

You're fired!

- Hello. - Hello.

Fix your heel?

For a pretty lady like you, we can do that right away.

- Hi, Robin. - Hi, Coraline.

Here.

- Hi, Robin. - I've got a letter for Isabelle.

Give it to me, I'll show it to her.

- Thanks. - Ciao!

- My father! - Oh my God!

- Robert! - You assassin! Rapist!

You satyr! Bastard!

- Hi, Paul. - Hi, Romeo. You alright?

Yeah.

- It's so bright. - It's imported from Brazil.

It's been photographed in Elle magazine.

- Hi! - Hi!

And it's not expensive.

- You alright? - Yeah.

That's the prettiest swimsuit in the world. You should try it on.

It'll fit you like a glove, you'll see. Well, like a swimsuit.

- I'll take it. - Smart decision.

So...

Just 26 more days... and you'll be an adult!

- Did you see my mom? - No, I didn't.

But my dad saw her.

It was so embarrassing. She threw him out of the city hall.

Who cares?

Oh, Philippe Prunier!

What a coincidence! I have a telegram for you.

- A telegram? - Yes. Bad news: it's your wife.

She arrives at Toulon airport at 5:17 p.m. and wants you to pick her up.

You can make it in time.

You better air out the car a bit, she doesn't know this perfume.

With all due respect.

Good day, miss.

What a cutie!

You're married?!

Start the engine!

Start it, damn it!

Are you day-dreaming?

Hey, I just got fired from the bakery. You want me to have fun now?

Don't get your panties in a twist because you were fired!

Lambert fired me. Am I sulking around?

Yeah, but you're irresponsible. Guys like you don't sulk.

And now, the motor's sulking! I'll handle this!

- Watch it! - Come on, move!

Make sure you don't blow it up!

- What does that mean? - Oh, nothing.

- What's this? - It's Pinkie!

- "Pinkie?" - Yeah.

We built her ourselves!

And where are you going in that?

- To look for new jobs. - Easier said than done!

Can't you invent something that pollutes a bit less?

Not pollution talk again!

There's Robert! What's up with him this time?

What are you doing? Practicing your strip-tease?

Robert, put some clothes on! You'll catch cold!

Hurry! Her dad's after me!

Stop that noise, will you?

Wait! Stop!

Kids, stop it!

Dominique, stop!

I'm stuck!

Stop, already!

Stop the car immediately!

- Do something! - I can't! The brakes won't respond!

The brakes are out!

- The brakes? - They don't work!

I've never seen Robin go that fast before!

It must be for an express letter!

Hey, it's the little cheeky monkey! You seem to be doing well.

- Where's your mother? - With her life guard.

Right, with her...

Oh my God!

My bike!

- Dad! Are you okay? - I'm fine.

I forbid you from climbing into that damn vehicle.

- Henry! - Yeah?

Get him a cognac.

- A double! - Right.

Those damn kids! That infernal machine threw me in the water!

Did you check if their papers are in order?

If they've got their license, insurance, tax disc, vehicle test...

Is that pile of junk even legal?

Listen, dad, we love you. We all support your ecological campaign.

We all love Don Quixote heroes.

But there are two things you can't touch:

Pinkie and her carbon oxide. Other than that, we support you.

We'll talk about this at home tonight.

For now, I'm taking you to the police station.

The police station?

You know, to shower and get changed.

POLICE STATION

Wait, don't move! Let me get out first.

This thing isn't a car! It's a damn mouse trap!

Wait, don't make too much effort. Come here.

Me and my big ass, this is what they give me!

Oh boy.

There, nice and slow.

There, we made it.

Two fours! One, two, three, four.

I roll again.

Do you know what an immigrant needs to live there?

Yes, five black and white photos.

Four, five, six. I rolled doubles, so I can go again.

Four!

One, two, three, four.

Attention!

Now, then...

The best of our citizens are drowning...

and in the meantime, you're buying some houses in Monopoly!

But... Silence!

Your cousin got him out of the water,

while you, mister...

what are you up to?

You're playing a fun game!

- But he knows how to swim! - So? What about shock, then?

I'll keep you boys in check.

I like rebels. I like to break them!

I've seen worse than you in Indochina.

You're going to find out who I am.

Warrant Officer Ficelle Antonin!

Known as Tonkin, registration number 4017,

six medals, twelve commendations!

Tell me, what's that?

- Angola, chief. - Good!

And this?

- A pimple, chief. - Good-- What?

- No, I mean the Congo Basin. - Good.

And this?

- The Koutou Gorges, chief. - Good.

And this?

Diên Biên Phu!

Diên Biên Phu!

- Diên Biên Phu, chief! - Good.

Over 1542 miles of rice fields,

the gooks wouldn't call me "hand stitch" for nothing!

So...

a bunch of small fry comedians like you,

I could eat you up for breakfast!

Léon,

come help me carry your cousin upstairs.

Yes, Chief!

I can go by myself. I'm not dead, you know?

Coming!

Hello, Miss Maria.

- What's going on? - Robin almost drowned.

He needs some mouth-to-mouth!

- Just run him a warm bath. - No! Some cognac will do just fine.

I'll pour you some sake!

Your place is so unique!

All the charm of Indochina!

All that's missing is the smell.

What's this here?

They're black Chinese mushrooms. Hallucinogenic ones.

Are they edible?

Are you kidding? They give you laughing fits.

We'd use them back there for torture.

Right, because... you'd make them die of laughter?

- You could say so. - Come with me, Mr. Robin.

Your bath is ready.

I'll scrub your back.

Let's push our wheelbarrows

To clean up all of Saint-Tropez

Let's put on our work overalls

We'll make the place shine, it'll shine!

It'll shine, it'll shine

We'll clean up all of Saint-Tropez!

SAINT-TROPEZ CLEAN-UP

Hey, Julien!

Hi, guys!

You all sure found a new job quick!

This is temporary, just for the holidays.

Your dad will be happy, we're like his apostles.

Hey! What about us, then?

Shut up, you!

Girls, you'll be our volunteer assistants.

- Yeah. - For now, we'll just chase you!

SAINT-TROPEZ CLEAN-UP

The Saint-Tropez Clean-Up thanks you!

You have napkins right there, help yourself if you wish.

- Hello, ma'am. - Hello, Robin.

- Where's your bike? - They're cleaning the rust off.

- Do you have any mail for me? - Not for you.

- But I do have some for Tim. - For Tim?

A registered package.

Here you are, boy.

That's for you, here you go.

Since you don't know how to write, I'll ask you to sign...

right here.

There. Thank you.

Sweet thing.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Corleone. - Goodbye, Robin.

Hi, Jacquy.

MADAME GRETA, PSYCHIC

Hello, Madame Greta. I've got a letter for you.

Here it is.

Oh, it's my daughter. She's letting me know she's pregnant.

If you can see everything, there's no point giving you your mail!

Say... what do you see in my future today?

You're going to rebel and nothing can resist you!

- Thank you, Madame Greta. Bye. - What about me?

- You're going to suffer some damages. - Big damages?

Not that big.

They can do it without music!

Brings it down 200 decibels!

Come on!

Come on!

- Not bad for an alcoholic! - Laugh it up, and I'll lock you up!

- Don't lose your nerve. - What nerve?

Your nervous system is starting to wear down.

It's a bad sign. Keep that up, Ficelle, and you won't last 'til next year!

Ouch.

Though, it's normal. With all this pollution,

the first victims are always police officers.

Stop messing around, Robin. That eco stuff has gone to your head.

You mock it, but I can tell you're seriously affected by it.

Don't believe me? Just look at yourself!

Not a single red blood cell left.

Shit, you're right! My face looks awful!

Oh, God, you're headed straight for suicide.

Tomorrow morning, meet me at me at my summer home.

Some fresh air will do you good.

Come here-- Actually, no.

Virginie! What are you doing here? Where's your mother?

She's with her dance instructor.

Capucci, what's the matter? Your face is all green!

- Green? Me? - Yeah!

Well, I'm not surprised, with this bad air you're breathing...

Watch out, Capucci. Today, we're here. But tomorrow...

who knows?

Hi, Sylvestre. Hello, Léon.

Hi, Robin! You've brought us our mail?

No, I've brought you a very educational magazine.

Now, that's being prudent!

They don't want to die, like you do!

Yet, the pollution in Tokyo is less intense than in Saint-Tropez!

- We don't care. - You don't?

Seeing your faces,

you'll have to settle for an anticipated retirement.

Or the cemetery!

- Hello, Mr. Robin. - Mrs. Ficelle.

- How are you? - Like a polluted man!

Could you help me? My water heater's giving off smoke.

Smoke? I'll come in and have a look.

- There's no smoking water heater here. - No, there isn't.

- I'm the one that's smoking. - No, Mrs. Maria!

- Yes! - No, think of Antonin!

- Think of Maria! - No, Mrs. Maria!

Think of pollution! Mrs. Maria, I want to get out!

No! Mrs. Maria, this is...

Mrs. Maria, I'm an ecologist! I forbid you...

I forbid you, Mrs. Maria!

Julien!

Here's the daily telegram for Mrs. De Lespinasse.

Why always me? Can't you send Galoubet or someone else?

You know very well, Don Juan,

that Mrs. De Lespinasse wants you to deliver her telegrams.

They all come from her too.

We don't have to deliver all these fake messages

sent from the recipient to herself!

Julien, calm down! And quit thinking.

Need I remind you Mrs. De Lespinasse is the wife of our deputy,

which puts an end to all discussions!

Hop to it!

Hello. Here is your telegram.

Julien, come on in.

I need to talk to you about your father's ecological movement.

- I've mentioned it to my husband. - Really?

He's allowed me to join.

That's nice, but... do you know his policies?

Yes.

We should be an example. First of all, avoid noise--

Oh, yes!

Don't pollute the atmosphere. Stop using your car.

I'll only go on foot, by bike, by horse!

- And make love in silence. - Yes!

I was just giving him

a ticket for illegal parking.

I was doing it by the book and all!

And the guy comes up to me, this arrogant bastard, says to me,

"Yeah, sure! The only reason you're giving me this ticket

is because you profit from it!"

- You know what I said to him? - No.

- Do you know what I said? - With you, it could be anything!

I said to him, "Sir, if I profited from handing out tickets,

I'd be handing them out even in parking lots!"

You got the keys to your summer house?

Go on and laugh! This is our little secret garden.

BEWARE, LUNATIC DOG

Hey, what's a "lunatic dog"?

A lunatic dog

is a dog that'll bite you one day, and won't even see you the next.

Lunatic or not, doesn't matter since you don't even have a dog!

You know that, but the thieves don't!

You see what I see?

Dear God! I sure do see it!

Come on! One, two, one two...

RESERVED FISHING SPOT

- Hello, there. - Hello, sir.

Any luck?

Seems like it.

Look at those bright red mullets!

"Bright red?" More like brick red.

And all striped, like those damn things we'd give the gooks in Indochina

to poison the enemy!

Yeah, this spot is the most polluted in all the Mediterranean.

This isn't sea water, it's oil in its purest form!

- Lambert! - Lambert?

- You know, the mechanic. - Right, him.

He can make his tow truck run just on the water he gets right here.

- Right here? - Here!

And last week, just last week, they filled up the city hospital

with nothing but people who ate red mullets!

Well, you gotta admit, this level of pollution

is worse than Hiroshima!

Is that all?

- Oh, you're leaving? - I don't feel so good.

- Hey, Ficelle. - Yes?

- Prepare the barbecue. - Yes, sir!

That tourist was such a moron. An absolute moron!

Probably from Paris!

These red mullets are magnificent. Truly magnificent!

Pass the rosemary.

PRIVATE PROPERTY

That smells good!

They're so fresh, it's like they're still wriggling.

Pass the salt.

What a moron!

Honestly, such a moron!

Just look at them, Robin! They're oozing with pure joy!

Pass the Provence herb mix.

Provence herbs.

And some lemon!

This will be a treat!

A toast to that moron from Paris!

Hey, Mr. Police Officer!

You again? What do you want now?

How do I get to the hospital?

You know, the one that's full of people who ate red mullets!

Poking fun at the police, eh?

You enjoy poking fun at the police?

Your ID, car registration, certificate of compliance,

insurance docs, tax disc for this year and from two and three years ago!

Look, an illegible license plate!

Looks like I won't have enough of these for you!

Well, looks like there's no seat belt here!

But it's a two-horsepower car. It's like a motorcycle, doesn't need one.

- "Like a motorcycle?" - Just like a motorcycle.

Where's your helmet, then?

- Are you insane? - I'm fine!

And you've got a dog too!

Show me its rabies vaccination card, nose print, and registered number.

What the...? Where am I meant to get all of that?

No one should ignore the law.

- Especially not a fisherman from Paris! - From Paris, eh...

Capucci!

Yes, Chief?

Throw this comedian in the cooler.

- "The cooler?" - With a special diet.

Feed him red mullets at every meal!

Even for breakfast, Chief?

Especially for breakfast!

- God damn it! - God damn it!

Mrs. Baldassari!

Mrs. Baldassari, Geneviève!

Mrs. Baldassari!

Mrs. Baldassari!

Yes, Robin?

It's a postal order.

Robin! Do you have any post for me?

Yes, the new catalogue from La Redoute. I'll drop it off at the convent for you.

Thank you, Robin!

No problem, Sister. At your service!

Be careful!

Show me your ID, please.

Is that joke, Robin? Where would I keep it?

No ID, then no mail for you.

Here's a delivery notice. You'll have to come pick up

your postal order at the post office. Don't forget your ID.

You go for drinks with my husband every day, play bowls with him...

yet you ask me for my ID?

Drinks are drinks, bowls are bowls, but work is work!

With all due respect, Mrs. Baldassari.

Know what you can do with your delivery notice?

Please, Mrs. Baldassari, there are people around!

Sorry.

- Hi, boss! - You okay, boss?

Hello, kids.

- Work hard, okay? - Yeah!

Ow!

Sorry, ma'am!

Sorry, Father!

The ways of the Lord are inscrutable.

Amen!

Attack!

Now, second shoulder throw!

Morote-Seoi-Nage!

You don't seem very alert.

Must have brought Mrs. De Lespinasse a really long telegram!

No strength left in your legs!

You sure have strength in your tongue!

Stop!

I'll teach you about kiai,

and all the fantastic possibilities

of this secret weapon used by the ancient samurais.

The kiai, or the "deadly scream",

is the ability to emit an ultrasound

that paralyzes the opponent in a brief, immediate coma.

You can be skilled at kiai or not,

but it can't be taught.

Look at me, for example.

Despite 20 years practicing martial arts,

and reaching the seventh dan rank,

my kiai remains harmless.

You see? Ridiculous.

Taking turns, you'll each respond to my kiai with a shout of your own.

That shout comes from your stomach, not your throat.

That's what a kiai is.

Hello, everyone!

Mr. Suzukikan, there's a letter for you from Japan.

Thank you.

- Could I keep the Japanese stamp, please? - With pleasure.

Thank you for accepting.

Thank you for giving.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Ouch!

- He has a kiai scream! - Yes, that's a kiai!

- What? - The shout that paralyzes!

Oh my God! I've killed them all!

Julien...

Wasn't that a great shot?

- That gives you a point. - It was a good shot, but not a point.

You may have a deadly scream, but you don't have a good eye!

- What? The point's ours! - It's ours, you can tell from miles away!

Listen, Mr. Deputy, politics can't teach us how to play bowls!

I won't be given lessons by the police and post office!

- I'll measure it-- - I... will measure it!

Right, it's not...

- And that one's... - Yes!

It was in place, yes.

- We get the point! - Hey, you think you can decide that?

Not me, the Good Lord!

If the Lord decides, then we can't argue...

We won't argue about it.

Amen.

- Well? Who's winning? - The Good Lord.

Your dad is a sore loser! The Father and I are winning.

Just like politics, it's not always the best one who wins.

- Charles, pick up your balls and let's go. - After a drink, honey.

No drink for you! We're going home!

Gentlemen...

The deputy was left speechless.

To the kiai scream!

Say, dad, what will you do with your scream?

What should I do? I won't turn it into a circus act.

It's pretty amazing!

A guy's bothering you, just give out your kiai

and bam, he can't move anymore!

Seeing Robin have such power, it doesn't surprise me.

- Well, I don't buy it. - You don't, eh?

You'll see. Jean Michel!

Yes, Mr. Postman?

There you have it!

It's a miracle!

The real miracle would be if he can "un-kiai" him!

Seems easy enough. I just have to breathe the word in. Watch.

How fabulous, Mr. Robin! Touch my heart, it's fluttering--

Hey! Show some respect to the uniform!

I have to get going, I've got things to do.

A girl?

Are you crazy? At my age?

No, I'm off to declare war to your mom's friend!

And De Lespinasse too!

- I'm taking offensive action! - Watch it, don't do anything illegal!

Don't make a police officer use force against a friend.

Don't worry.

My Police Officer friend.

That damn sirocco wind!

Say, dad! Dad!

Stop the wind with your kiai scream!

SAINT-TROPEZ, 1.8 MILES

Ficelle!

You're choosing to survive!

Bravo! That's very good.

Stop him for me, will you? Thanks.

Well, Robin?

Where are we in the war against polluters?

We'll win that war, boss!

You know, Robin...

if you go up against the country's top cats,

you'll find me against you.

I won't screw up my career for a bit of dust and noise!

With all your nonsense, you're just a postman on a bike!

You should at least be Minister of the Postal Service!

If you cause trouble,

do you know where you'll end up, Robin? On the ground!

- What's wrong? - We blew a tire.

See that nail?

Oh, shit! It was a brand-new tire!

And my wife's car!

Come on, guys, let's go!

Get to work!

Stop! Help me!

Help me! No!

Hello, gentlemen. Do sit down.

Don't move, stay.

I've called you here for an emergency. That idiot Robin is taking things too far.

He said he'd throw a spoke in our wheels but this isn't a spoke,

it's more of a crossbar.

No, not a crossbar! It's a whole crossbeam!

Nothing proves he's behind all this. You do have a few political enemies.

I've known him for 25 years.

If you're so sure it's him, throw him in jail!

- We need proof. - Now, be very careful!

We're just a few weeks away from the election.

So, no blunders, alright?

No causing trouble!

Any slip-up could be fatal. I've said it time and again!

I only see one solution: money.

Money! That sure is a banker's solution.

You don't know Robin. He'll refuse it.

I have an idea to hinder him.

Go ahead, tell us.

Actually, I've already begun hindering.

I live at the top of Garde Hill,

and I've recently subscribed to the South-East Post.

So, every day, that Robin

is forced to climb six miles up a very steep hill

to bring me a newspaper that I don't even read.

Sure but that hurts his legs, not his motivation.

I've got it! Since he's acting like a kid, we need to respond like a kid.

That's it!

No, Mrs. Maria. It wouldn't be reasonable of us!

Hop to it, Capucci!

When my husband's asleep, I give the orders.

Do you want that promotion?

If it's for a promotion, then it's a different story!

Capucci!

Capucci baby!

It's so hot!

Kiss me!

Capucci!

- Alert! - Alert? Oh my God!

Capucci!

You could have finished, Capucci.

Work comes first. I'll be right back.

Capucci!

Where's that damn deserter?

I'm here, Chief!

A fly went up my nose! It'll eat my brain!

- Blow your nose, Chief! - We have to get it out, asshole!

Yes, asshole. Sorry, Chief.

What did you do in Indochina with filthy bugs?

We'd drown them!

Alright, then, Chief! Let's drown it!

You'll have to stay like that for a while, sir. Flies are hard to drown.

Is it still moving?

I think it is! Yes, it's still moving!

Excuse me, Chief. I'll get the phone.

Saint-Tropez Police Station, hello.

Hello, Mr. Prefect.

Yes, Mr. Prefect.

Of course, Mr. Prefect.

It'll be done, Mr. Prefect.

Yes. Goodbye, Mr. Prefect.

My God, Chief! You'll pass out!

Where have you been? You assassin!

- On the phone, Chief. - The phone? Who was it?

- The Prefect. - The Pre-- What did he want?

A guy from the Ministry of Finance is coming to see the Mayor.

He's asking us to guard him discreetly and closely.

I need to think. Go back to what you were doing.

- No way! - What do you mean, "no"?

- Is that an order? - Yes, it is!

Oh, I see.

The Prefect... A minister...

Hello, Robin?

We've got a big case!

A guy from Finance is discreetly coming to see Chantal.

Yes. Did you hear me?

That's all I'm hearing!

That damn eastern wind!

Damn dust from the cement plant.

Disgusting.

Are you crazy? What are you doing with all this trash?

The city chose this spot as the new landfill site.

But this land belongs to Mr. and Mrs. De Lespinasse!

- Apparently, they donated it to the city. - "Donated", eh?

Then, I'll go say a few words to those kind donators! Get out of the way.

They donated it, did they? I'll give them a piece of my mind!

Oh, shit!

Dear God, they've gone all out!

And this is a brand-new uniform!

They're going to see what I'm made of!

All this trash and tar! They'll pay!

Great! Now my bike's broken!

- Did you write "condolences"? - Yes, "sincere condolences".

Why'd you write "sincere"?

You don't even think it sincerely, plus it costs an extra 20 cents!

Are you going to a carnival, Robin?

They're counterattacking! But I'll have the last word.

There's an urgent letter for Mrs. Sagazan.

- No! You can't go looking like that! - See if I care!

It just so happens I have a few words for the Mayor!

Drama!

Madame Greta!

Please tell me what you see about this letter.

It's from...

an official... in a ministry!

And?

The letter is about land...

belonging to Mrs. Sagazan...

where they want to build a leisure complex around a new casino.

A casino? Why not a brothel too?

- Where are you going? - To see Julien.

Julien... You know what I think of your little fling?

It's not a fling. I'm going to marry him.

While I'm still alive... you never will!

- You almost married his dad. - Oh, please! That was a close call!

In 20 days, I'm turning 18!

While you're under my roof,

you're still a minor, young lady!

Well, Mr. Mayor, better get your sash ready.

- Hi, father-in-law. - Hello, daughter. This is urgent.

- Where's your mother? - She's baking.

Robin! What the hell are you doing here?

I came all the way here because this is urgent!

What are you waiting for?

For you to read it.

"Urgent!" Must be interesting.

PRIVATE

See what it says there?

- "Private." - Right.

"Private" means it doesn't concern you.

Well, maybe it does!

What are you planning? Is this some sort of game?

A game? Definitely not! I hate games!

The reason I like Saint-Tropez is because people don't play games here!

How wonderful is that? We don't even have a casino here!

Right, I'm leaving.

The city owes me a clean uniform.

Tar is a stubborn stain,

just like bad intentions!

Hello? Lespinasse?

We're in deep shit. Robin knows everything.

Did you hear that? I think someone's near our car.

You're right!

Shit! My camera!

I told you not to leave it there.

- Are you in trouble? - Someone stole our camera.

Go to the Saint-Tropez police station right away.

- They're good, they'll find it for you. - Thank you!

Hello, Mr. Police Officer.

Hi, Virginie. Where's your mom?

I don't know. The football team came for her and she left with them.

- All 11 of them? - All of them.

- Hello, Mr. Police Officer. - Hello, sir.

We'd like to report a theft.

At this hour?

But it's noon!

There's no schedule for thieving or reporting a crime.

Well... alright, then.

Do you realize I now have to fill in a report?

Ouch.

- Hi, Robin. - Hi, Gaspard.

Hey, do you want to buy a camera?

I'll sell it to you cheap, for a great price.

So, you're the one who stole from those tourists.

Those dumb tourists, they just pollute our life here.

- Go on, get to the police station. - Come on, be a pal!

My pal's a police officer and I like order. Come on, scram!

How much was your camera worth?

- Four thousand francs! - Five thousand!

She's right, five thousand.

- Must be a nice camera. - Yes.

Right. Who are you pressing charges against?

Well, against a person unknown!

No! Don't press charges against a person unknown.

We know who your thief is.

He's of medium build, wears overalls and sandals.

Last week, we missed him by just 80 feet!

His name's Gaspard.

Hey, there he is!

Hi, Ficelle. Look at what I've got for you.

My God! It's all I'm looking at!

Go on, Gaspard. Give back what you stole from them.

Come on!

Seems we're bothering him! Go on, then!

Isn't that something?

- Pick what you want. - And more keeps coming!

- Go on, pick! - You've got everything, you bastard!

Here it is.

Well, you're going to the slammer for a while.

At least two hours!

Gaspard, who'd you steal this from? Mrs. Récanier?

- Who's that? - Let me see.

There's someone in-- Oh, it's me!

Get out of the way!

Robin!

What... what's the matter?

It's the kiai!

It's that damn kiai scream!

He's "kiai-ed" himself! Robin!

- Robin! - Cousin! Talk to me!

You can't stay like this! Think of the family!

Fresh air! Take him outside to get fresh air!

Breathe, Robin! Breathe that country air!

Do you hear the bells, Robin?

And your dog, your mother! Robin!

What about your great view? Don't you like it anymore?

Call the witch doctor to exorcise him!

And the rosemary?

Can't you smell that rosemary? It could wake up the dead!

Don't talk about that!

I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do!

Call an exorcist.

In the meantime, I'll have a Ricard.

A Ricard? A glass of Ricard!

Did you say Ricard? Not without me!

I know what the Finance minister is coming here for.

Is it serious?

Serious? Yes, I believe so.

They want to build a leisure center and casino in the middle of Saint-Tropez!

We've got to do something!

You're forgetting I was in Indochina.

Sneaky tricks like that...

I know all about them!

I could even say... they're my specialty!

TOULON-HYÈRES AIRPORT

ARRIVALS

The day of glory has arrived!

Just like at Kang Goa!

What happened?

There was a wave. There was...

Do forgive us.

THE FREE STAMP

Oh boy!

Just like at Shibang!

Thank you.

Mr. Minister...

- Place your bets! - All bets are closed!

Like Diên Biên Phu!

And this is like the Titanic!

I can't take this. Enough is enough!

That's not Robin, the postman! He's Attila the Hun!

He's Nero desiring Rome! He's Fabius, wrecking our finances!

- We've got to stop him! - Yes.

We have to destroy him! Annihilate him!

Like an evil beast. I just want to--

We have to make him incapable of destroying us!

We have to scare him.

I've got the right man for the job.

- Once the season's over, I'm leaving. - Where to?

- To Paris. - No way!

- Yup. - With who?

With this great Lebanese guy.

You sure you're not going to Lebanon with a great guy from Paris?

That's not funny! You're so unromantic!

The last time I was romantic with her, I had to fly out of her window!

Hey, Julien!

- Julien, what's the matter? - Did your tricycle have an accident?

- Very eco-friendly! - I'm on sick leave.

Because of Mrs. Lespinasse, three telegrams a day!

- I'm not Superman! - Yes, I know.

I'll work with you guys.

Yeah!

We push our wheelbarrows

To clean up all of Saint-Tropez

What the hell is that?

Now, this, kids...

is Pantera. She moves like a Brazilian girl,

smiles like a Roman girl, makes love like a Thai girl,

as mute as a fish, and above all, she's Peruvian.

Where did you find her?

She's been looking for her soulmate,

and she's not disappointed.

She looks like a tranny.

A tranny? Her? Then, I'm a homo!

If this poor creature's lost, we could adopt her! What do you say?

- Yeah, good idea! - Alright, we will!

- Hi! - Hi!

Well? Isn't anyone going to introduce me?

Antoine De Lespinasse,

Miss Pantera-thingy. Whatever.

Julien Pygmalion wants her to climb down from her tree to turn her into a star.

Well, if you want, you can climb my family tree any time.

"If I want?"

It's not every day you get to have fun with a big shot.

Let's go. Take me to a place where there's no crowd.

See ya later, you animals!

SAINT-TROPEZ' SECRET CASINO PROJECT COMPROMISED

MAYOR IS ASKED FOR AN EXPLANATION

You know, we completely forgot to assign him a close guard, Chief!

- Jean-Michel! - Coming, General!

Come here, give us another round.

If you blew into your breathalyzer, it would turn bright red in shame!

Shame, my friend, must be drunk to the very last drop!

So, give us another round.

- What are we toasting to? - To fresh air!

To Indochina!

At ease!

- We should drink to the Lord. - Not with this liquor!

- Hi! - Hey, old man!

Good evening, kids. What are you up to?

Doing eco-friendly rounds.

That's good, kids. Very good.

Hey, seniors, don't forget we're counting on you tonight.

- We'll be there! - Don't count on me.

Why not, Father?

Tonight is poker night at the bishop's place.

- Oh, right! That's sacred! - If you've got poker night, then...

Shit!

My car!

Stop, thief! Someone stop him!

It's done!

- Who wants the tail? - I want the thigh!

Looks delicious!

Looks tasty!

- Hey, what's wrong? - Nothing. Leave me alone.

She's waiting for her Julien.

He must be in a girl's bed.

Are you nuts?

Come on.

Don't listen to that lunatic, she's jealous.

- Your Julien will show up. - I couldn't care less.

Speak of the devil, there he is.

Guess what? Those damn cops towed my car to the pound.

- Isn't that crazy? - They don't respect anything!

They've even towed the police van!

Hey, thanks a lot guys! You could have left me a piece.

Thanks.

Well, I'm leaving, kids.

Bye, Robin.

Let's go fishing early tomorrow morning.

I'll go off to bed soon too.

Hey, Robin! Be a good example!

- Oh, sorry. - Well?

There you go.

- What are you doing? - Getting scoops.

What's a "scoop"?

Photos that are out of the ordinary.

Come with me to the woods, I'll give you some scoops.

Exclusive ones?

Unpublishable!

- Where are you from? - Chi Tong.

Oh, Chi Tong! Such great memories!

I left 20 men there.

It was spectacular!

Hey, you! I'm not bothering you, am I?

Relax, will you? Can't you see she's the one sweet-talking me?

Are you stupid or blind?

She needed a sucker to reel you in.

And she just happened to pick me, that's it!

Fine.. Sorry.

I'm stupid, but I can fix that.

And boom!

What time is it?

- It's midnight! - Time for a bath!

Everyone get naked!

We're going for a swim!

Watch out! Get out of the way!

And no matter what, no red mullets today!

Let's fill up on sea urchins!

Sea urchins? They're all empty!

I prefer empty sea urchins over sneaky red mullets.

- Really? - Yeah!

God damn it!

It's the Vietnamese! And I'm unarmed!

It's not the Vietnamese! You see them everywhere, even Saint-Tropez!

Why wouldn't there be Vietnamese in Saint-Tropez?

It's a geyser!

It's oil!

It's like diesel.

No, it's oil, and it's the good kind!

If this is oil, then this is pollution.

When it's in this amount, it's not pollution, it's money!

If we want to turn it into cash, we have to control all this.

You're right, let's control it.

Shell down 48 points,

while Robbins Oil has climbed up over 100 points.

Oil deposits discovered in Saint-Tropez have flipped all data on its head.

In the next few days,

we should expect an incredible collapse of the dollar.

- Shit! This is the end! - Now, the weather.

It's raining all over France except in Saint-Tropez.

Shit!

God damn-- Oh, sorry!

Amen.

I see so many changes going on in this city.

Oh dear!

Changes that will upset everything!

Yes. Yes, of course.

Not a problem.

- Alright. Goodbye. - Could you hold for a moment?

We've never had this much money!

Hello, British Oil? I'm listening. You want 120,000 barrels? I'll check.

Hello? The Minister of Transport?

You can come by anytime.

Hello? Yes, please hold.

Father-in-law, are you available for you-know-who?

I'm not available for anyone! I'm in a meeting.

Let us think in peace!

One for Robin...

A RICH SAINT-TROPEZ

and one for me!

Oh, money, money, money!

Yes! Yes, that's good!

Do you see what I see?

My God, it's all I'm seeing!

I have the feeling the shitshow's about to start.

Not for us, but for them.

Father-in-law, it's you-know-who again. He's insisting.

- Tell him I'll be right there. - Okay.

I'm the essential postman

Most important of all jobs

Without me, there'd be no news

Or traditions in your daily life

I'm the one you look out for each day

With anticipation and joy

I'm Cupid, messenger of love,

I bring you love letters

I'm the postman, always on time

The most skilled in Saint-Tropez

I'm the postman, a real prankster

I add some spice to my job

Serving others makes me happy

I come and go, I hand out mail

Registered post, perfumed letters

Each person gets what they're owed

Some people walk over flowers

Like they're walking on stones

And others make their engines roar

To pollute everything around them

When I go for a midnight swim

I swim in a pit of tar

Don't make fun of ecology

I'll prove that it's not crazy

I'm the postman, a real dreamer

The most skilled in Saint-Tropez

I'm the postman, a real prankster

I add some ideas in my job

I love the sea and the birds

Don't harm what's beautiful

I want the air to be pure and for trees to live

I'm a postman who loves nature

The objects are all taxed

The packages are all wrapped

The letters are all stamped