All language subtitles for Bikini Time Machine 2011

Kandy, Kandy.

Come back.

Come back.

Whoa.

Where am I?

You're back in the
classroom, you're okay.

That, that was wild.

Did did I really do it?

Oh, yes, several times.

I mean, did I really
go back in time?

Oh, back in time,
oh, yes, yes, yes.

The experiment was
a smashing success.

We took you all the
way back to 1780.

That's incredible.

But I think I might've
misbehaved a little, professor.

Yes, you were very naughty.

I think one of the
phenomenons of time travel

is that it makes people
lose certain inhibitions.

It makes them feel like giving
into their secret desires.

Oh, I think I gave
them plenty.

I just couldn't help myself.

Yes, well, it
was a big success

and I- I monitored
every minute of it,

in the interests of
science, of course.

Of course, so, so now what?

Yes, well, I need
to compile my notes

and then we can proceed to the
next phase of our experiment.

Well, when will
you need me again?

Ah, tomorrow
afternoon will be fine.

Not sooner?

No, I- I don't
think your system

can handle too much
more time travel, today.

I- I think you look very tired.

It took a lot out of you.

Well, it did wear
me out a little.

Yes, well, you go home,

get some rest, then
we'll resume tomorrow.

Bye, Professor.

Goodbye, Kandy, you've
been very helpful.

- Oh, oh.
- Oh, hi, Dean.

Bye, professor.

Goodbye, oh.

Professor Wells.

Dean Potter, ah,
please come in.

Er, er, can I help you?

I've had quite
a few complaints

about the noises coming
out of your classroom.

Now I find you all alone
with a scantily clad lady,

long after the other
students have been dismissed.

Can you tell me
what's going on here?

Well, yes, of course.

We've been involved in
an after hours project

and, and Kandy has been
good enough to assist.

And does her
assistance involve

being hooked up to
these electrodes?

Er, er, yes.

Careful.

And does her clothing
happen to come undone

as a result of
these experiments?

Well, yeah, sometimes.

Professor Wells,
I am surprised at you and at your age.

I want you in my
office in 15 minutes

with a complete explanation.

Yes, Dean.

Hello.

Could I get you
something to drink

while you look over the menu?

Water.

Sure thing.

There you go.

Can I take your order?

Thank you.

Um, I'll have a BLT
and a dinner salad.

BLT and a dinner salad.

And a side order of $15,000.

Okay, got it.

Wait, did you say a
side order of $15,000?

That's right,
young lady, $15,000.

That's what's owed on
your property here.

I don't understand.

Well, let me make it a
little clearer for you.

The proprietor of
this establishment,

that would be you,

owes the lessor of the
property, Mr. J B Watergate,

$15,000 payable by August 15th.

Okay, I don't understand.

I inherited this cafe
from my grandfather,

lock, stock, and barrel.

It's been paid off for years.

Well, that may be true,

but the actual property
that it sits on

belongs to Mr. Watergate.

And your grandfather's 50
year lease expires in August.

You've gotta be kidding me.

I never kid
about money, Miss...

Clayton, Lara Clayton.

Now, there is a
provision in the lease

that allows you to renew for
an additional period of time,

but that'll cost you $15,000
payable by August 15th.

Do you have that kind of money?

Well, no.

Things have been a
little slow lately.

Is there any way I
could get an extension?

Well, that
won't be possible.

J B Watergate wants to
put a nudie bar here

and you're the only thing
standing in his way.

There won't be any extensions.

I'm sorry.

Well, I still have
until August 15th.

Maybe something will happen.

Sure.

Maybe you'll win the lottery.

Hey, do you still
want that BLT?

Wow, that really sucks.

Time machine?

Did you just say you've
created a time machine?

Well, yes, I did.

Preposterous, what kind
of fool do you take me for?

A- a fool, er Dean,

no, not a fool, certainly.

It's just, I- I
don't think you're,

I don't think you're giving
my invention a fair shake.

Look, Professor Wells,

I'm as broad minded
as the next man,

and I've seen some pretty
crazy projects come and go

around this institution
of higher learning,

but this is the first time
I've ever been expected

to swallow a load of bull

like you've been
dishing out today.

Well, no, sir, it's not bull.

I- I really have, I've,
I've invented a machine

that will take the electrical
impulses from a person,

project them to a
specific point in time,

thereby, allowing the
person to experience

the sensations of
the, of the moment.

And you thought
it was a good idea

to experiment on
one of our students?

Kandy, yeah, yeah.

She's extremely helpful.

You see, what happens
is time travel

tends to take away a
person's inhibitions,

making them wanna have sex

as soon as they get to
where they're going.

So, Kandy, having a lot of
experience in this area,

therefore, she's the, the
perfect, er, test subject.

Let me get this straight.

You're sending this
girl, Kandy, back in time

to have sex with people?

Well, that's an
oversimplification, but yes.

I think we can send her
into the future as well.

We just haven't perfected
that part of it yet.

And you never will, professor,

there is no future as
far as you're concerned.

You're finished.

I want you to pack
up your contraption

and be out by the
end of the day.

Well, Dean, I- I-

I think you're making
a serious mistake.

I think that my invention
can make this college famous.

Well, that's a chance
I'll just have to take.

My time machine works

and it's going to make
me a very rich man.

Soon, you'll see and all the
rest of them will see too.

Perhaps, professor,

but I seriously doubt there's
a huge demand, right now,

for a machine that sends
teenage girls into the past

to get laid.

Good day, professor.

Well, I never.

And you never will.

Hello?

- Sara, it's Lara.
- Oh, hi Lara, what's up?

Just wanted to check

and make sure you're still
coming into work tonight.

Sure, I could
really use the money.

Mom, finally cut
off my finances.

Oh, okay.

Well, we've got something
really important

to talk about when you get here.

Sure, well, I'll be
there in a little bit.

Yeah, don't rush though,
it's so dead in here.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, I'll see ya.

Okay, bye.

So, all I gotta do is sit
tight and the joint is mine?

That's right, J B.

All you have to do is
wait until August 15th.

If she doesn't come
up with the money,

the lease will terminate,

you can take over
all nice and legal.

All nice and legal.

Unless.

Unless what?

Unless she actually
comes up with the $15,000.

Well, that's crazy talk.

You already said she
doesn't have it, right?

And where's she gonna
get that kind of dough?

They're aint a bank
in this country

is gonna throw a life preserver

to a, a small, dying
business owner.

President's already
seen to that.

True.

She's as good as dead.

Unless.

Unless, unless.

What is with all the unlesses?

I- I'm just saying

a lot of things can happen
between now and August 15th.

You may have something there.

We might need some insurance.

What kind of insurance?

The best kind.

What?

Teddy, I want your
ass out here now.

Just give me 10 minutes.

Dad.

Huh, I like the way
you think, J B.

Damn straight.

I'm gonna put a titty
bar up on that lot

or I wanna know
the reason why not.

What did he want?

Who cares, whatever
it is it can wait

because, um, you have
a massage to finish.

Well, finally.

Hey, Pops, you rang?

Don't Pops me, you punk.

I got a job for you.

Okay, dad, okay.

But, you know, mm, I
just spent all afternoon

auditioning those VIP
strippers for your nudie bar.

Little bushed.

Put a lid on it, junior.

I got an assignment for you
and you're gonna like it.

All right, spill it on me.

I want you to run
down to the, the, er-

Lost cafe.

Lost Cafe.

When you're down there,

I want you to talk
to a chick named, er-

Lara.

Lara, she's about to turn
the property over to me

because she can't afford
to renew her lease.

And, um, what do
you need me for?

I need you to
get close to her,

befriend her, and find out
if there's any way in hell

she's gonna come up with
the dough to foil my plans.

And, if there is, I need
you to fix things for me.

Capische?

Okay, old man.

Let me, er, just wrap
my head around this.

So, I'm supposed to
go meet this Lara

and, er, lay down a little
of the Watergate charm?

And, if I think she has
a chance of succeeding,

put a stop to it.

That's it exactly.

You see, the apple don't
fall far from the tree.

Not when they're
as rotten as you are.

Just shut up
and get a move on.

Um, there is a matter
of an expense account.

I might have to take
her to dinner and...

You know, I knew
I loved you, dad.

I hate his mother.

Ah, Ken, you bastard.

You scared the life out of me.

I'm sorry.

I came in, you were in the
bath, I couldn't resist.

Are you mad?

Yeah, I'm mad.

That was not funny.

It was funny to
me, but I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

Yeah, really sorry.

You in a hurry?

Going into work at the cafe,

but Lara said there
was no big rush.

Why, what did you have in mind?

Well, I thought I would,
er, make it up to you.

You're gonna make it up to me?

Yep.

Hi Lara.

Oh, hi.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I guess.

You look kind of sad.

I got trouble,
Sara, big trouble.

What kind of trouble?

You're not?

No, no,
no, nothing like that.

Money trouble, 15,000 of them.

Wow, what happened?

Well...

I didn't know it,

but I don't own the
property that the cafe's on,

I only own the building itself.

Really?

Yeah, I thought
granddad owned everything,

but I guess he didn't
own the land itself

and now the lease is up.

And they want 15 thou for it?

Yeah, apparently, somebody
wants to build a nudie bar here

and if I don't come
up with the money,

they're gonna tear
the place down.

Bummer.

But business has been pretty
slow around here lately.

Yeah, I know, but I can't
let granddad's dream die

and get torn down and
turn into a strip club.

If that happens, I'll have to
start dancing there myself.

At least you'd
make some money.

Hey, need a table?

- Sure.
- I'll get you a menu.

Don't bother, I
already know what I want.

You're pretty fresh.

That's what the
sign said out front.

Good stuff, fresh
daily, that's me.

Cute.

You too, what's
your name, doll?

Lara, yours?

Teddy.

Are you hungry or just
carousing for a date?

You're funny.

Sure I'll have a
burger and fries.

- Sara?
- Got it.

Listen, Lara, I, er,
came in just a minute ago,

saw you sitting here.

It's gonna sound a little corny,

but, er, looked a little sad,

so I thought I'd come
over, say "Hello,"

and see what'd be bothering
a pretty girl like you.

Doesn't matter, there's
nothing anybody can do.

What kind of troubles
are you having?

Money trouble, what else?

Well, you know what they
say, money can't buy happiness.

Yeah, but it can buy an
extension on your land lease

so that you can keep
your restaurant open.

Oh, I- I'm understanding.

You need some kind
of financial angel.

- Huh?
- You know, an investor.

Someone to put a little money
into the place, spruce it up.

Silent partner, if you will.

You know what?

I never thought of that.

- That's exactly what I need.
- Mm-hm.

But where am I gonna
find somebody like that?

I only have a few days to
get it all turned around.

Maybe I could help you.

- You?
- Yeah, sure.

My family's got money, I
mean, how much we talking?

$15,000.

15 Gs?

Mm, that's doable.

You think so?

Sure, I mean, but
I would need to check

your financial records

and see what your
profit levels have been.

Well, up until about a month
ago, they were pretty good.

Great, can I see 'em?

Well, the records
are back at the house.

Do you mind coming over?

Not at all.

Sara, could you close
that for me tonight, hon?

Sure, I'll see you later.

Yeah, thanks.

Who's she?

Oh, that's my roommate.

We have a big house over
on Elm Street near Maple.

Yeah, I know the neighborhood.

Yeah, it was pretty good,

until some jerk built a
strip club on the corner.

Yeah, my, er,
car's right outside.

Boy, I sure hope
something good happens.

She really deserves it.

Are you girls having
a, a bit of trouble?

What else?

There's just never enough money
in this world to go around.

Oh, huh, very true.

Well, I have a business
proposition for you,

if you would like to
make a little extra money

working for me.

No monkey business?

Monkey, oh, no, certainly not.

It's strictly a scientific work.

I am in the middle of a
very important experiment

and I could certainly
use the help

of a nice, young lady,
such as yourself.

Well, I do have a
very scientific mind.

Does it pay well?

Oh yes, it pays very well.

When can I start?

How about tonight?

Sure, why not?

This place is a graveyard.

Oh, excellent.

Meet me here at 9:00 PM.

Do I need to bring anything?

Well, ah, yourself, of course.

And wear loose fitting clothing,

just so you'll be comfortable.

Okay.

Cool beans.

Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

This, this is a really
nice place you have here.

Thanks, I inherited
it from my grandfather,

but the upkeep is so expensive,

so that's why I took
in Sara as a roommate.

Wow, you sound like
a very sensible woman.

Yeah, well, do you mind if
I get outta my work clothes

and I can bring down
the box of records?

No, no, not at
all, take your time.

Thanks, great.

Teddy, what's a good word?

Piece of cake, old man.

I'm at her place, as we speak.

She's getting her
financial records for me

and I'll have a pretty good idea

of what her finances are
before the evening's over.

That's my boy.

Just don't go soft on me.

Me, soft?

Who do you think
you're talking to?

You know what I mean?

Don't go getting sweet on her

or you could screw
up this whole deal.

Look, dad, you
do things your way,

I'm gonna do things my way,

and so what if I happen
to get a little something,

something on the side?

All the better, right?

Just don't blow it.

Don't you worry.

If anyone's blowing
it, it won't be me.

Gotta go.

Okay, this box contains the
records of the last 12 months.

Do you think that's
back far enough?

That'll be more than enough.

Would you like a drink?

That stuff is pretty boring.

Sure, anything as long as
it's wet and has alcohol in it.

Okay, I'll be right back.

God, you scared me.

I'm, sorry, I
thought you saw me.

You move rather quietly.

Yeah, it runs in the family.

I was just gonna
open up this wine.

Oh no, don't bother.

I've, er, I've seen
everything I needed to.

Really, what do you think?

Oh, I think we'll be able
to do business together

and, er, I don't see
anything coming between us.

Teddy, that's great.

How do I thank you?

Now that you mention it.

Well, we are
gonna be partners.

I guess there's no reason why
we shouldn't seal the deal.

So, tell me, what's
this all about?

Oh, please don't worry.

There's no danger whatsoever.

Um, I wasn't worried,
I'm just curious.

This is my memory
experience generator.

It transmits biorhythmic
impulses across inter spacial time.

Oh, why didn't you just
say so in the first place?

I'm going to send
you back in time.

Cool, where am I going?

Well, how about 1967.

Works for me.

Oh, what happens then?

Well, some subjects
have experienced

a complete lack of inhibitions

during the time travel
process.

There are no side effects

and, and I can monitor your
progress right from here.

How long will I be gone?

The whole process
only lasts a short time.

We're trying to extend
the duration through experimentation.

Are you ready?

Will it hurt?

Oh no, not at all, not at all.

Excellent.

Okay, are you ready?

Let's go.

Whoa.

Far out.

I hope you're getting
all this, professor.

Oh yes, I'm, I'm.

I wouldn't have believed this,

but here I am

1967.

Whoa, little sister.

What are you doing here?

I, um, peace man.

Yeah, peace.

What's your bag?

My bag is, um, free Love.

Yeah, free love.

Power to the people.

Turn on, tune in, drop out.

Now, you got it.

Whoa, man.

It's getting hot in here.

Say, you're kind of cute.

Yeah?

You're a groovy chick.

Wanna get high?

Mm, not right now.

Wanna go down.

Now you're talking.

Make love not war.

Yeah, nice rack.

Shut up and suck it to me.

It comes with jugs.

Wow.

How do you feel?

A little dizzy,

but okay.

How'd I do?

Oh, excellent.

Everything came
through crystal clear.

Wait, you saw everything?

Well, yes, in the
interests of science.

Okay, so you got an eye full.

I don't know what came over me.

I couldn't help myself.

It's like I was possessed.

But now it's time to pay up.

Oh, of course.

Ain't no free
shows, professor.

Oh yes, of course.

I hope that this
will be sufficient.

It's okay,

but it's gonna take a long time

to reach the 15 grand
I need, at this rate.

Yes, I wish it could be
more, but I was fired today.

Don't sweat it, professor.

So, when's our next session?

Tomorrow?

Sounds good, I'll call ya.

Well, thanks for everything,
it's been good fun.

I'm so glad I met you.

It's like fate or something.

Will you call me tomorrow?

Yeah, no, I don't think so.

But I will be seeing
you on the 15th.

August 15th?

Well, that is the date
your money's due, isn't it?

Yeah, but I'll probably
need to get it into the bank

before then.

That's the deadline.

Oh, you see, I'm not gonna
be bringing you any money.

Did I forget to mention
my dad Is J B Watergate?

J B Watergate?

Yeah, you know the old man

that owns the property
your cafe's on?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, sucks, doesn't it?

But don't you worry,
it'll all be over soon.

You bastard, you, you-

Ah, ah, ah, I know,
I know, get out, right?

Thanks for
the dessert, doll.

You're quite the dish.

Oh, hi.

He looks happy.

He should be.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.

His dad's the guy that's trying
to put us out of business.

He just used me to look
at our financial records.

And did he?

Oh yeah, he had a good look
at everything I have and more.

Bummer.

Well, at least I made $200.

What did you have
to do to get that?

I went back in time
to the year 1967.

Oh, good, I mean, what?

It's that professor guy
who hangs out at the cafe.

He built a time machine

and he paid me to help
him with an experiment.

A time machine?

Or shizzle.

Wow.

About
time, where you been?

Look, Pops, I'm a big
boy, I have my own life.

Your money only buys a small
window of opportunity of it.

It's not like I work for ya.

Why, you rotten
little monster.

Easy, easy, easy.

Burst a blood vessel, your age.

Besides I did what you wanted.

You did?

That's right, I looked
at the cash receipts

for the last 12 months.

And?

And no bank, not even
the dirtiest loan shark

you and I know,

will lend that woman a dime,

not based on her
financial records.

Excellent.

You know, dad, I just, um,

I feel a little crappy
the way I treated her.

It'll pass.

Love you, Pops.

Hi, Lara.

What are you so excited about?

Look at here, we're saved.

Oh, my God, Sara,
you're a lifesaver.

What is it?

I bought a lotto ticket.

We could win a million dollars
and save the restaurant

and it only cost me a buck.

Sara, the drawing
was last night

and these are not
the winning numbers.

Bummer.

Double bummer.

If only we could have known
what the winning numbers were

before the drawing.

If only.

Sara, that's it.

What?

We could use the
professor's time machine,

go back in time just to
yesterday, of course,

we could buy a lotto ticket,

and register the
winning numbers.

Lara, that's brilliant.

We'll win a million dollars
and we'll save the cafe.

Yeah, and I can get even

with that evil bastard,
Teddy Watergate,

before he got into my pants.

So, what are we waiting for?

Nothing, sister, let's go.

Both of you?

That's highly unusual.

Like strapping a time
machine to somebody's head

isn't unusual enough?

Yes,
I'll give you that.

But this'll just take your
experiment to another level,

right, Professor?

Yes, it will.

I've never done
a twosome before.

This could prove to
be very interesting.

But we only wanna go
back in time a little bit.

How little?

Like yesterday?

Yesterday, why yesterday?

We have our reasons.

Are you game or not?

Oh, I'm game,
I'm certainly game.

You know that that
will only land you

here in my living
room yesterday.

Good, let's do it.

It tickles.

Oh, just wait till you
get where we're going.

What do you mean by that?

Oh, you'll see.

Is it really yesterday?

The date on my
phone says it is.

Okay, so we need to
get to the quickie mart,

get the lottery ticket,
get the numbers on it,

and get our asses
back to tomorrow.

Sounds simple, except.

Except what?

You just look so damn
hot to me, right now.

I'm so horny, right now.

What's going on?

It's a side effect
of time travel.

What can we do about it?

Nothing.

We just have to get
it out of the way

so we can get on
with our mission.

You mean?

Let's not waste time, mm.

It is the waitress.

Come back later,
trash day's tomorrow.

Funny, for a girl.

Where's Lara?

Can I help you?

Wow, who knew?

Get to the point.

I'm here for my
father's 15 large.

That's, um, if you have it.

I don't exactly have 15,000.

That's what I thought.

I have 500,000 in this box.

What?

You see, I'm exercising
an option in the lease

to buy out the property from
underneath your old man.

This entire block
now belongs to me

and you're trespassing.

That's impossible.

Let me show you the way out.

Professor?

What's going on?

You are going
on a little trip.

Set?

What, are you guys
trying to be fun?

You have the
manners of a caveman.

Now let's see how you
like their lifestyle.

Whoa!

This isn't my day.

Oh, my God.

I got trouble,
Sara, big trouble.

Boy, I sure hope
something good happens.

She really deserves it.

I, um, peace man.

Me, soft?

Who do you think
you're talking to?

That's what the
sign said out front,

good stuff, fresh
daily, that's me.

I've never done
a twosome before.

This could prove to
be very interesting.

That's incredible.

But I think I might have
misbehaved a little, Professor.

You see, the apple don't
fall far from the tree.

J B Watergate wants
to put a nudie bar here

and you're the only thing
standing in his way.

Yeah, I'm mad.

That was not funny.

It was funny to me.

Yeah, free love,
power to the people.

Let me get this straight.

You're sending this
girl, Kandy, back in time

to have sex with people?