Original subtitles

Nick, uh, where do we keep the office supply vouchers?

Look in the file under "O."

Or "S."

Or "V."

If not, uh, "M" for Miscellaneous.

And, uh, if you don't find it in, uh, "M"...

they're lost.

Then I'll look under "L."

Good a place as any.

Twelfth Precinct, Captain Miller speaking.

Yeah, he's right here. Uh, just a minute.

What's the matter with your foot?

Gout.

Rich cooking, huh?

No, poor cooking, but rich food.

This is for you, on three. Somebody named Mona.

Again? What does she want from me?

I don't know. You pick up the phone, you say:

"Hello, Mona, what do you want from me?"

I know what she wants from me.

She's a groupie.

Policemen turn her on.

Hello, Mona.

What do you want from me?

You don't even know what I look like.

I'm a very mature man.

Older even.

No, No, No. I can't come to your apartment.

No, you can't come to my apartment.

I'm married.

You're sorry?

Now, I'm going to give you some advice.

Next time call Madison 8-5642.

That's the Fire Department.

She's in heat, isn't she?

Wojo and Harris call in yet?

Uh, they're on their way here.

Hey, Barney, uh, you got anything to read?

The P.A.L. took all the magazines.

Here you are.

Auxiliary Uniform Crime Reports from the FBI. Fascinating.

That's not gonna be the same.

Good morning, everybody.

How are you?

I don't know yet.

Last night a fortune cookie said I was gonna have a rotten day,

but this morning my horoscope said it was gonna be beautiful.

So who are you gonna believe?

A Chinese baker or The New York Times?

Twelfth Precinct, Captain Miller speaking.

Yeah, go ahead.

Chano! 10-30 in progress.

Right, Barney.

Hamilton Bank... 11th Avenue.

Right.

Call Dispatch. Get a couple of cars.

Right.

Chinese baker. Every time!

Nick! I'll be out in a minute!

Come on, we got a bank robbery!

I can't help you.

Hello, Dispatch?

We need two cars at Styvesant and 11th Avenue.

10-30 in progress, Hamilton Bank!

Barney, I wanna go.

What about your foot?

The hell with my foot. I got my savings account in that bank.

Okay. Come on, come on, come on.

Say, man,

since when is it a crime to come to the defense of a lady

and try and protect her honor? Since when?

When you push her trick out of a second-story window.

Man, don't tell me chivalry ain't dead!

Look, baby, you call it whatever you want to,

but up here it's felonious assault.

Don't give me details, man! I'm talking about principle!

Sit down before you fall off your shoes.

Hey, look. Chuck me that phone. I got to call my main man.

What's your name?

Mayflower.

What do we got here?

New pimp in the neighborhood.

Just what we need, another social director.

Welcome back.

I read the whole report.

It's not the same.

Twelfth Precinct, Detective Harris.

Yeah, just a minute, Liz.

Barney, it's your wife.

Oh.

Hi. Liz, what's up?

What are you doing downstairs?

You all right?

Yeah, bring him up.

Liz made a citizen's arrest.

Who'd she collar?

A mugger.

Eight years old with a pointed stick.

Eight years old? He's just out of diapers.

Well, he came out armed.

Okay, Mayflower, let's sail.

Where to, my friend?

Downstairs to the picture gallery.

Oh, man! If I had known that,

I'd a worn something with, well, more life to it.

Inside!

Excuse me, is this Homicide?

Yes, ma'am. This is, uh, Det. Harris, Det. Yemana

of the goon squad. What can we do for you?

I'd like to make arrangements to have this boy sent to prison.

Come on, lady, I was only jiving!

It wasn't my stick anyway.

What's your name?

Truman Jackson, I'm only 7 and a half!

He's 8.

All right, the facts, please, ma'am.

Well, I was riding in an elevator

at the house of a friend when this boy got on the elevator

and pointed this at me and said, "This is a stickup."

Very well put.

Then he asked me for all of my money.

Well, she didn't give me any.

Then she took my stick. That's robbery, ain't it?

All right, Jackson, all right.

Harris, book him.

Okay. Come on.

Let's go.

Do you think I could have a cup of coffee?

Hey, brother, let me go!

Hey, man, I can't do that. I mean, you broke the law.

And it's, uh, now my duty to inform you

that anything you say can be held against you.

You ain't no brother!

That too! Sit down.

Oh, I hate to see him go to jail,

I just couldn't let him go!

You let us handle it.

What are you going to do?

Work him over with a rubber hose.

Now, seriously, Barney, what are you going to do?

We're just gonna shake him up a little bit. Relax.

I would like to remind you that you have at home

a son just about his age.

He's lucky he isn't my son, I'd give it to him good.

What are you gonna say to him?

Will you let us handle it?

I think I have a right to know.

Look, if you don't trust us, take him to another precinct.

What's your telephone number?

Man, I ain't got no phone!

Where do your parents live?

Man, I ain't got no parents.

Well, who do you live with?

Grandpa and Grandma.

Ah.

Am I going to prison?

Oh, yeah! You got to go to prison.

For how long?

Well, that's up to the judge.

Judge Meany.

He's known as the hanging judge.

You jiving me?

No, man, that's the absolute truth!

The last little dude that held a lady up in an elevator

got 18 years.

And that was from Judge Goody.

Do I get him?

Oh, no. He's sick.

Barney, do you think I could, uh,

speak to him for a few minutes and say goodbye?

11:00 to 1:00, Wednesdays and Sundays. Goodbye, Liz.

Goodbye, warden.

Come on, time to lock you up.

Don't look back.

Okay.

Inside.

You get one meal a day,

and you already missed today's.

Okay, Mayflower, just dock it here. I got to get the keys.

Well, well, I see you finally got your hands on Mr. Big.

Hey, man, look,

the little brother started out on the wrong path

and we trying to show him the light.

So don't blow it, you dig?

Any help you can give us will be duly noted on your rap sheet

and the district attorney will be so notified.

Do I make myself clear?

Say no more and open the door!

Hey, what's happening, baby?

Oh, you one of them tight-lipped cats.

What'd you do, soul brother?

Hold up.

Whooeee! You in the big time.

Better get some rest, because it's a long trip up the river.

Man, after a while it gets to be like a circus.

Everybody standing around staring.

How'd everything go?

Okay.

You know, people inside the bank, people outside the bank.

Surprised they wasn't selling tickets.

Where's Fish?

Oh, he's coming. He's right behind me.

Hi, kid.

Hey, somebody shrink? How you doing, Ronny? Hey, Yemana.

Well, what happened?

Well, you know,

it was a little tight at first, but it's okay.

Fine. Right, Fish?

Right.

Touch and go. Touch and go.

Hey, man, anybody help me out?

Seen any felony reports around? I mean, you know...

Hey.

Oh, I got a felony report.

These people, man. Wojo, they just don't understand, man.

They can't get away with stuff like that, you know.

And they read about it everyday in the papers, man.

Somebody trying to rob a bank here.

Somebody trying to rob a bank there.

Just don't understand, man.

They can't get away with it.

Hey, anybody know the...?

Oh, there it is. Right here on my calendar.

April 14, 1975.

What happened?

Two armed men,

one with a shotgun, one with a handgun, shot a guard,

held six people hostage and threatened to kill them

if we didn't let them go.

It'd have gone on all day, if someone didn't get inside.

Apparently, someone did.

Chano. Killed both of them.

Cold. Anybody... You want a cup of coffee, Barney? Huh?

Geez, I don't remember it being this cold in April.

Anybody remember it being this cold in April before?

Mm. Oh, man, that is definitely not Puerto Rican coffee.

Who made this?

I did.

Tastes like it was made yesterday.

What time yesterday?

You would think after all this time

somebody would be able to make a decent cup of coffee!

Sorry.

Well, what the... Nobody cleans up the table anyway.

What's going on, men? Hi, boys.

All right. Hi, Barney.

We just got the word down at headquarters

that stickup at the Hamilton Bank.

It says two hoodlums were killed in the attempt.

Is that about it?

It was unavoidable.

Heavily armed. They had hostages. Chano had no choice.

No, huh?

Ah, Chano, so you went in. You did what you had to do, huh?

Don't worry, I know how you feel.

Why don't you take the rest of the afternoon off?

Go see a moving picture.

Uh... Yeah, sure.

That's what I used to do.

I'd go to Radio City Music Hall, See a good movie

good stage show. You know, them Rockettes with the legs.

No, inspector.

Maybe I'd just better stick around here working.

Well, some of the guys like to do it that way, yeah.

You know, they like to get right back in there again

before they freeze up.

You do whatever you feel's right. Whatever works for you.

You know how long some of them Rockettes have been there?

Thirty, 40 years the Music Hall.

Not the same ones, of course.

They replace them from time to time.

The legs, it's the legs that goes on them first.

Yeah.

Well, Chano, I want to tell you you did a hell of a swell job.

Incidentally, if it'll make you feel any better,

you'll probably get a medal for it.

I'm gonna put you up myself personally.

A medal.

Heh, you hear that, Barney?

Left here this morning, I was nobody.

Two shots later, I'm gonna get a medal.

You hear that, guys?

Well, no sense my staying around here, eh?

May as well go to Radio City Music Hall

maybe pick up a couple of Rockettes,

a bottle of champagne and celebrate.

A medal, heh?

How do you like that?

Barney...

that man is an example for every Puerto Rican on the force!

Hey, Barn, excuse me.

I wonder if I could have a couple of hours off?

Just take off?

What for?

Oh, uh, it's just a, I got things...

Leave him alone. Let him take care of it by himself.

Hey, what about the kid?

Oh, yeah.

Did you call his grandparents?

Yeah, I told them we'd bring him home after a little while.

You think he's had enough?

I think he's had enough.

Well, how are you sports doing?

I'm hungry. You're hungry?

Yeah, I told him we'd eat soon as we get to Sing Sing.

Man, I don't want to go to no Sing Sing.

Should have thought of that

before you held up the pretty lady.

You can't believe nothing that pretty lady says.

I think she's a fibber.

How do you know that?

She lives in our neighborhood.

She's always telling lies about kids who got sticks.

I think she's a witch. Isn't that right, Little Richard?

Oh, yeah.

She lies just like everybody else.

We're the only ones who tell the truth.

That's why we're going to Sing Sing.

Policeman, ain't there no way I can get out this mess?

Well, let's see now, you could, uh...

throw yourself on the mercy of the court.

Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

That pretty lady ain't no witch.

Yeah?

And it's my stick.

And?

I'm never gonna do nothing like that again.

Okay.

See, Judge Meany said that if you confessed,

I could let you go.

No stuff? No stuff.

Harris, turn him loose.

Bye, Little Richard. Sorry I can't have dinner with you.

That's alright, Truman.

Don't worry about it.

Just remember what I told you.

You know, use your brains, and:

A stick is uncool.

Truman, Officer Harris here gonna take you home.

No handcuffs.

Goodbye, everybody.

Come on, little brother. Let me give you a ride.

You gonna tell my Grandpa what happened?

I got to.

Man, you ain't no brother.

Hey, Barney. Hm?

Did you ever have to do what, uh, Chano did today?

Close, but, uh... Me neither.

I was always secure knowing

that I couldn't hit the side of a barn.

Unless you had to.

You know, I went to a cop show last night

and saw them kill a couple dozen guys.

Didn't bother them at all.

That's because they didn't have to be there

when the lights went up.

Yeah.

East of Saigon yesterday.

Columns of black smoke could be seen rising

from downtown Saigon streets.

On the local scene, an attempted bank holdup

at the Hamilton Bank was thwarted today

by officers and plainclothesmen

of the New York Police Department this morning.

Two gunmen were killed.

And during the exchange of gunfire,

one patrolman was wounded.

Several hostages taken by the gunmen inside the bank

were unharmed and...

The Hamilton Bank this morning

was the scene of an aborted holdup attempt

in which two gunmen were killed by police of...

were killed by a police officer

from the 12th Precinct...

Beat it!

Barney.

Oh. Oh, wait, wait. Don't beat it, man.

Heh, sorry, man. You all right?

Yeah. Yeah. Come in. Come in.

Hey, I wouldn't stand out there too long.

This is a rough neighborhood.

Hey, can I get you a beer?

Thanks.

Oh, good. One beer coming up.

Place looks the same.

Oh, well, yeah, I got a girl comes in once a year, you know.

Where you been?

Around.

Hey. Come on, sit down, man.

Any, you know...

Chano...

I want you to tell me how you feel about what happened today.

Oh, I didn't feel too good.

It could have gone the other way.

I wouldn't feel good about that either.

Well, there doesn't seem to have been much choice.

Yeah.

I could have let them have the money.

It doesn't work that way. No, I know.

They should have robbed another bank in another precinct.

What did you do today?

I went to a movie. Yeah?

Feel any better?

Yeah, kind of.

What'd you see?

Dirty Harry. Oh.

Hey, I'm s... Can I get you something to eat, Barney?

No, no. Liz is probably holding dinner. Don't let me stop you.

Hey.

Hey, Barney, uh, thanks for coming over.

Yeah.

Uh, listen, you wanna take a couple of days off, you do that.

Yeah, maybe that, yeah.

Did you ever wonder why the sperm whale,

which is the largest mammal on the face of the earth,

has a throat about that size?

Yeah. You know, I always did. Why is that?

Because that's the way it is.

And there ain't anything you can do about it.

Oh, God...

Nick, uh, how are we fixed for Supplementary Follow-Up Reports?

In the file under "S."

Or "FU" or "R"... Never mind. Never mind.

Morning, Barney. Hi, Yemana, Fish, Wojo.

Where's Amenguale?

Took a couple of days off.

Oh, good, good. I'm just as glad he's not here anyway, Barney.

Why, what's the matter?

Amenguale isn't gonna get the Medal of Valor for April.

They're giving it to somebody else.

It's gonna tear him apart.

That's what it's doing to me, Barney.

They're gonna give it to some cop in another division

for pulling two kids out of a burning building.

And a dog!

How do you like them apples, eh?

They said they didn't want to make a big deal

about a cop killing two hoodlums.

I know how you feel.

Thanks, Barney.

Now, but look, look, tell...

Tell Amenguale not to feel too bad about it.

You know, if he's lucky, he'll probably get another shot at it.

Hey, pardon the pun, huh?

Ah, it ain't like the old days, Barney, huh?

The old days, the old racket squad.

They used to have respect for cops in those days.

Me and Foster, Kleiner and Brown.

Anybody want to go down to the candy store

and get a Charlotte Russe?

Well, see you around.

Hey, guys, what's happening?

Hey, Chano, how you doing?

Welcome back. Or are you just visiting?

No, are you kidding, man?

There's just so much bumming around a guy can do.

I saw seven movies and I went to the aquarium.

You know, Barney, you're right about that whale.

Oh, hey, Chano.

Hey, we saved something for you.

Sent over by messenger from the Hamilton Bank.

It's a copy of their employee newsletter.

Oh, hey.

Second page, big story.

Good pictures of you two guys.

Not my best side.

Look, uh, no thanks. File it.