All language subtitles for The Princess Diaries 2001 ENG SUBS

Time for school!

Stop daydreaming.

You'll be late
for school.

♪ Sometimes
I have dreams ♪

Hey, Louie.
Come on.

♪ I picture
myself flyin' ♪

It's time to
go to school.

♪ Through the clouds

♪ High in the sky

♪ Conquering the world
Let's go.

♪ With my magic piano

♪ Never being scared

♪ But then I realize

♪ I'm supergirl

♪ And I'm here
to save the world

♪ But I wanna know

♪ Who's gonna save me ♪

Are you feeling
confident?

Not really.

Ok, now just remember,
when you make your speech,

don't look at the people.

Pick a spot
on the back wall,

don't take your eyes
off of it,

and speak loudly.

Thanks, Mom.

Bye, Mom.
Good luck.

Morning, Buttons.

Be nice, Buttons.

Whoa. Whoa!

Sorry,
Mr. Robutusen.

Have a nice day.

I doubt it.

Whoo!

♪ I'm supergirl ♪

♪ I'm supergirl

♪ What I wanna know

♪ Who's gonna save me ♪

Hey, there, ho there,

how do you do?

This is Grove Lions
sayin' hi to you.

I'm Lana. Anna.

Fontana.

Go Lions!

Josh!

♪ I'm supergirl ♪

Josh!
What are you doing?

Oh, he's such
a show-off.

Off the wall, please.

Jeremiah, off the wall, please.

Come on. You know
better than that.

Good morning,
Miss Gupta.

Morning, Lilly.

Lilly's friend.

♪ I'm supergirl

♪ Who's gonna save me ♪

You know, as manager
of the team,

I really think you should
be a part of the team.

Oh, oh! Oops.

I'm sorry,
I didn't see you.

Uh, I was thinking...

Somebody sat
on me again.

Really?
Yeah.

I don't know
what happened.

I was just
sitting there,

working
on my speech...

It's really
a dumb class...

Jerk and jerkette sighting.

Hmm?

♪ Soft kisses
On a summer's day

♪ Laughing
All our cares away ♪

What?
What?

You never saw two idiots
exchange saliva before?

Oh. Yeah.

They're so rude.

Good. You know,
for a second there,

I thought you were
going a-crowd on me.

Oh, ha. Negative.

Ready for debate?

Uh, I'm never
ready for debate.

Go, Josh!

So, this
is not a debate.

This is a control issue.

Grove controls our minds
with what they teach us,

but you know what?

They're not satisfied
with that.

I think Grove should
dump the uniforms

and we have casual dress
all year round!

All right, all right.

Ok, girls, settle down.
Settle down.

This is a debate,
and after it's over,

I want you back
in your school uniform.

Hey, boss,
whatever you say.

Josh, sit down.

He's the man.
He's my man.

Ok, Josh.
Later. Later, ok?

Down, down, boy.
You made your point.

Ok, so, uh, now
we've all heard

from Josh Bryant
for the affirmative.

I love that sound.

What's my point
again?

You like our uniforms.
They're equalizers.

Now we'll hear the rebuttal
from Mia Thermopolis,

who will present
the negative argument

against our proposition.

Come on, Mia!

Whoo-hoo!

Um, I think, um...

What a frizz-ball.

Look at her hair.

Shh!

Um...
We're waiting.

Uh...

Say something!

You see, um...

See, casual,
casual, uh...

Are you ok?

She's gonna barf.

Look out,
she's gonna hurl!

Cover the tuba!

Ok, ok.
Everybody settle down.

♪ Learn how to fly

♪ Gotta move on

♪ From what's breaking
Your heart ♪

Mia! Finish up
with Mrs. Taubman,

and then you can
take a break.

Another huge tip
from Mrs. Hersh.

Oh, and I got one
from Mrs. Taubman.

We are doing
all right today.

Mr. Walsh's ropes
are twisted.

Mr. Walsh,
stop twisting!

You'll strangle
yourself!

Hi, Mom.

You threw up, huh?

And you ran away.

I'm trying
to forget about it.

Can I have some shoes
and chalk, please?

Anyway, I'll go talk
to your debate teacher.
What's his name?

Mr. O'Connell.

And straighten it
all out.
Mmm-hmm.

Mom, I am never going to be
a good public speaker.

Just call him and tell him
I wanna be a mime.

I can do that.

Here you go.

Oh, your grandmother called.

What?

The live one.

Who lives in Genovia. Clarisse.

Oh. Wow.

This is the first time
she's ever contacted us.

What'd she want?

She's in town.

She wants to have tea.

Tea? She came all the way
from Europe to have tea?

I think I'm gonna
climb a little bit.

Rocks around the clock.

Isn't this
the grandmother

who made you two
get a divorce?

Uh, well, she didn't
approve of me,

but Phillipe and I
made the decision

to divorce
on our own.

Why should I go see
this snobby lady
who ignores us?

Mia, she's your
father's mother.

Just go see her tomorrow.

Please?
Tension.

She said
your father hoped

that you two would
meet someday.

All right,
II'll go.

Whoo!

Ok, all right, I win.

Band practice is over.

I have a music class
here. Out!

All right. Let's have
the third group
try Catch a Falling.

Hey, Charles,
do you wanna be
in the front?

Ok, thanks.
No problem.

Michael.

Are you sure
you can't help me

with my spotted owl
petition today?

I told you,
I'm meeting

my grandmother
after school.

Oh, right.

♪ Catch a falling star

♪ And put it
In your pocket

♪ Never let it fade away

♪ Catch a falling star

♪ And put it
In your pocket

♪ Save it
For a rainy day

♪ For love may come

♪ And tap you
On the shoulder ♪

♪ Some starless night ♪

The school tours
are on Saturday, young lady.

I'm here for a meeting
with my grandmother.

Name?

Clarisse Renaldi.

Oh. Uh, please come
to the front door.

Thank you very much.

Get off the grass!

Welcome,
Miss Thermopolis.

We've been
expecting you.

Um, oh,
be careful.

Please don't crush
my soy nuts.

Your soy nuts
are safe.

Ok.

Right this way.

Please, uh, make
yourself comfortable.

For their daughter, Marissa.

She's allergic
to peanuts.

And we need new pillows
for the Prime Minister's wife.

She's allergic
to goose feathers.

Hello, Amelia.

I'm Charlotte, from
the Genovian Attaché Corps.

Hi. It's nice
to meet you.

Um, where am I?

The Genovian Consulate.

You've got pears
in your flowers.

Genovian pears.
We're famous for them.

Now, if you'll sit down,

she'll be with you
in a moment.

No, I don't need
a moment. I'm here.

Amelia, I'm so glad
you could come.

Hi. You've got
a great place.

Thank you.

Well, let me
look at you.

You look so...

Young.

Thank you.

And you look so...

Clean.

Uh, Charlotte,
would you go

and check on tea
in the garden?

Please, sit.

So, um, my mom
said you wanted

to talk to me about
something. Shoot.

Oh, before I "Shoot,"

I have something
I want to give you.

Here.

Oh, um, thank you.

Wow.

It's the Genovian crest.

It was mine
when I was young.

Uh, and that was
my great-grandmother's.

Ha. I'll keep this safe.

I will take
good care of it.

Now, what did you
want to tell me?

Something
that I think will have
a very

big impact
upon your life.

I already had braces.

No, it's bigger
than orthodontia.

The tea is served,
Ma'am.

Amelia, have you
ever heard

of Eduard Christoff
Phillipe Grard Renaldi?

No.

He was the crown prince
of Genovia.

Hmm.

What about him?

Eduard Christoff
Phillipe Grard Renaldi

was your father.

Yeah, sure.

My father was
the Prince of Genovia.

Uh-huh.
You're joking.

Why would I joke about
something like that?

No! No, 'cause
if he's really a prince,

then I... Exactly.

You're not just
Amelia Thermopolis.

You are Amelia Mignonette
Thermopolis Renaldi,

Princess of Genovia.

Me? A princess?

Shut up!

I beg your pardon?
Shut up?

Your Majesty,
in America,

it doesn't always
mean, "Be quiet."

Here it could mean, "Wow,
gee whiz, golly..."

Oh, I understand.
Thank you.

Nevertheless,
you are the Princess.

And I am Queen
Clarisse Renaldi.

Why on Earth
would you pick me

to be your princess?

Since your father died,
you are the natural heir

to the throne
of Genovia.

That's our law.

I'm royal by marriage.

You are royal by blood.

You can rule.

Rule? Oh, no.

Oh, no.
No, no, no.

Now you have really
got the wrong girl.

I never lead anybody!

Not at Brownies,

not at Camp Fire Girls.

Um, Queen Clarisse,
my expectation in life

is to be invisible,
and I'm good at it.

Amelia, I had other
expectations also.

In my wildest dreams

I never expected this
to happen.

But you are
the legal heir.

The only heir
to the Genovian throne,

and we will
accept the challenge

of helping you
become the princess
that you are.

Oh, I can
give you books.

You will study
languages, history,

art, political science.

I can teach you to
walk, talk, sit, stand,

eat, dress
like a princess.

Given time,
I think you'll find

the palace in Genovia
a very pleasant place
to live.

Live in Genovia?

It's a wonderful
country, Amelia, really.

Whoa, whoa.
Just rewind and freeze.

I'm no princess.

I'm still waiting for
normal body parts to arrive.

I refuse to move to
and rule a country

and do you want
another reason?

I don't want
to be a princess!

Oh, uh, Amelia.
Amelia!

Amelia,
come back here!

Oh!

Well, that went well,
didn't it?

Um, perhaps she
needs more time.

Will you help me?

Miss Thermopolis?

I'm the head
of your security

and you want me
to be a chauffeur
and a baby-sitter.

For the time being, yes.

The child needs protection.

For 15 years,

you couldn't
find a spare minute

to tell me that
my father is a royal?

I thought I was doing
the right thing.

Oh, the right thing
for who, Mom?

For all of us.

I mean, if we
secretly divorced,

he would be able
to find a woman,

who would stay by his side
in Genovia and produce heirs,

and I would be free
to live my life with you.

I mean, please!
We met in college!

I was young!
I wanted to paint.

I mean, can you see me walking
one step behind someone

for the rest of my life?

I mean, with rules
and regulations

and the waving and the bowing
and the scraping?

I mean, I was scared!

Well, living
with a mother,

who lied to me
for 15 years, scares me.

Where are you going?

I'm going
to straighten up
the royal bedchamber.

After the divorce,
we all discussed it.

Your father
and your grandmother

both agreed
to keep that distance,

so you would have a chance
of a normal childhood,

free of emotional complications.

We were going to tell you
when you were 18 years old,

but when your father died,
things changed, Mia.

We wanted to protect you.

Ok, you know what?

I don't feel protected.

You try living
for 15 years

thinking that
you're one person,

and then in 5 minutes
you find out
that you're a princess.

You know what,
just in case

I'm not enough
of a freak already,

let's add a tiara!

Well, drink your soup.

I'm not really hungry.

Fine.

Good night, sweetheart.

Fat Louie...

You are so lucky

you don't know who
your parents are.

I've never ridden
in a limo.

He admitted bitterly
to himself

as he crossed
to the open window

and looked out at the bay,
the fog looming

like his pathetic life
before him.

I can't believe
I won an Emmy.

I have this favorite
photo of Phillipe.

We had so much fun
when we were here
in college.

He was he was so
full of joie de vivre,

always laughing
and smiling.

I remember.

Helen, if Amelia refuses
to accept the throne,

then Genovia will cease
to exist as we know it.

So, the future
of your country

is in the hands
of my 15-year-old?

Here it is.

Oh.

Phillipe
was ready to be king.

Then the terrible accident.

Even though it didn't
work out between us,

I loved your son
very much.

Thank you.

Well, as always,

this is as good
as it's gonna get.

Hmm.

I can't wait
until she's 18.

Oh, this is
a nightmare.

I'm going
back to bed.

Mia, the the three
of us have to talk.

Oh, ok. Um,
is there something else

about me and my life
that just maybe

I might want
to know about?

Um oh, no.
Are you two waiting

to take me on
a talk show somewhere

to let me know that
I have a twin sister

who's a duchess?

You have a cousin
who's a contessa.

Fondly known
as bartholomew.

Actually, we
call him pookie.

Yesterday did not
go well.

Will you just listen
to your grandmother?

Amelia, in
a matter of weeks,

we have
an annual ball.

I was I am hoping
that I may present you

to the press and the public
on that occasion.

However, you desperately
need some instruction.

I speak for the entire
Genovian parliament

and the royal family.

And I speak
for this family.

Excuse me,

I don't have a family
with either one of you

because you ignored me
for 15 years

and you lied to me.

Families don't do
stuff like that

to one another, ok?

Where is she going?

The tower.

Mia, you can't run
from everything!

She has a tower?

Please?
Just come down from there.

You know, most kids
hope for a car

for their 16th birthday,
not a country!

Just make yourself comfortable.

Oh!

This is
getting us nowhere!

Talk to me.

I can't talk
to you right now.

I'm late for a meeting
with my guidance counselor.

I'm late for a meeting
with Spain and Portugal.

I have a thought.

Mia promises to attend
princess lessons

until your ball.

Well, it's not my ball.

It's Genovia's Annual
Independence Day Ball.

I'm sorry.

Mia promises neither
to accept nor reject

your offer to be royal
until this grand ball,

and then she makes
her decision.

Now, can you
both live with that?

It seems I have
no option.

If I have to.

But I want not one word
of this until that evening.

Is that understood?

Duh.

The press
would have a field day.

Well, let's not keep Spain
and Portugal waiting.

I'm gonna be
16 this year,

and my mom traded
two paintings

to get me
a 1966 Mustang.

You do know what
a Mustang is, right?

I raise Mustangs.

That is not
a sensible car
for a princess.

Well, you see,
it's not really
a sensible car for anyone.

It doesn't run.

Well, I suppose
I could

donate something
to this vehicle.

Good morning,
Mr. Robutusen.

Who is
this gentleman?

Oh, he's my neighbor,
but you wouldn't
want to meet him.

He doesn't have
very nice manners.

Good morning.

There's someone
I want you to meet. Ok.

Whoa.

You have two limousines?

One is yours.

Do you raise
limousines, too?

No. Amelia,
this is Joseph.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

The elegant European woman
didn't stay for tea.

Thanks.

But the promise of tomorrow
hung in the air.

Oh!

Uh, Princess?
Hmm?

Princess,
may I point out that

no matter
how many times
you push it,

it will go
up and down

the same way. Oh.

Joseph, can we
86 the flags? Please?

No.

The flags allow me
to park anywhere.

We keep the flags.

Sorry, Joseph.

You can call me Joe.

Joey?

No. Joe.

Did I miss something?

Are we going to a wedding?

Uh, no. School.

No, this is the,
uh, surprise ride.

This is Joe.

Joe, Lilly.
Lilly, Joe.

Hi, it's nice
to meet you.

You know,
you look like Shaft?

Yes.

Excuse me.

You want a ride, right?
Yeah, totally.

Ok, hey, I got it.

Of course.

Ok.

Oh, my word!

Please fasten
your seat belts, ladies.

Is your mother
dating an undertaker?

Uh, no.

This long-lost
grandmother showed up

and she wants me
to use it.

And?

I don't know.

I guess she's just
trying to be nice
to get me to like her.

Oh.

Hey, Joe?

Can you please park
a block away from school?

I really don't want
to cause a riot
with this hearse.

This is a non-riot hearse.

And if it were a hearse,

there would be silence
in the back seat.

Hey there, ho there

How do you do?

This is Grove Lions
Sayin' hi to you

Go Lions!

Rawr!

This is a reminder.

Virtual homework
may not be submitted

for actual credit.

Tell me, Mia.

Is it true
about your speech?

Are you really speaking
at the bulimic convention?

So you can speak and barf
at the same time?

Good.
Good glove, Michael.
Way to go.

That's the way
to make the play.

I'm gonna let
this one go, Mia.
Try catching, all right?

Are you sure?

It's slow-pitch.
You can catch it
on a bounce.

Don't worry about it, ok?

Oh.
Ok.

Now get it and throw it
back to the pitcher.

Ok.
Come on.

Uh.

I am so sorry...
Mmm!

I'm really...
Mmm!

I didn't mean to... Mmm.

Can I help you?

Ice. Get me ice.

And I'm on the verge
of becoming a nutcase,

and my parents think
I need an attitude adjustment.

Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Sorry. Yeah,
so my dad wants

to take me out
to dinner tonight,
just the two of us.

We ran out of things
to talk about
when I was 8.

Well, at least
your dad's still alive.

Hey.

I thought you'd
gotten over that.

It's been, what?
Two months?

I know, I know.

But, after all,
he was my dad.

Biologically, yes,
but you never
met the man.

Just a nice card and
gift on your birthday
for 15 years?

Hey, be fair, ok?

They were
beautiful presents.

Remember that faberg
merry-go-round he sent me?

That was nice.

And he paid
for my school tuition.

Yeah, I guess so.

You know, Lilly,
I gotta run, ok?

I gotta go see
your brother
about my baby.

Ok, but let's
take the limo tomorrow.

These hills
are killin' me.

You got it.

He fixes cars,
he plays guitar,
and he can sing.

He is so hot!

He is wicked sweet.

Hello. Talk loud,
I got a band rehearsing.

You've been listening

to the sounds
of Flypaper.

We're flying away now.

All right, stop yelling.

They're finished.

Hey, that's oh,
it's sounding really good.

You know,
Ned is really wailing.

Hello, Mia.
Hey, doc.

So, what's the diagnosis
for my baby?

$400.

Yeah, I know.

It costs to be
cool, huh?

This is not my day.

I'll do
some labor free.

Thanks,
but I'll talk

to my grandma
about it.

It'll be great.

Anyway, I'll see
you guys later, ok?

I gotta be somewhere.

Oh. "I'll do
some labor free."

You, uh, sweet on her?

She's my sister's
best friend!

Yeah, that's
the hardest place to be.

Between friend and, uh,
friendlier, huh?

Uh...

♪ I'm tryin' to find a way

♪ I'm tryin' to find a ride ♪

Your Majesty,
the diplomatic pouch

has arrived,
and she's here.

Send her in.

Yes, Ma'am.

I need more roses.

Red, white,
mauve. Mauve!

Miss Amelia, welcome.

Hi.

Straight ahead
to your left.

Her Majesty is ready
for you in the library.

Charlotte,
take notes, will you?

Amelia, circle slowly,

so I can evaluate
the work to be done.

Amelia!

Does your bad posture
affect your hearing?

Turn.
Oh, sorry.

No, no, no.
Slowly, turn.

Slowly. Thank you.

Well, carriage,
obviously. Hairstyle.

Complexion...
Stop!

Eyes, lovely.

But hidden beneath
bushman eyebrows.

The neck is seemly.

Ears...

Like her father.

Really?
They are?

Oh, my! Who has
nails like these?

Everybody.

Well, tomorrow
I would like to see
clean fingers.

And you will
wear stockings.

Not tights,
not socks.

And I never
want to see those
shoes again.

When walking in a crowd,

one is under scrutiny
all the time.

So, we don't shlump,
like this.

We drop the shoulders,

we think tall.

We tuck under, and we
transfer the weight

from one foot to...

No. Princesses never
cross their legs in public.

Why don't you just tuck
one ankle behind the other

and place the hands
gracefully on the knees.

Charlotte, I think
it's time for tea.

Tell me,
how does my mother,

or really, any person,
for that matter,

go into a parent-teacher
conference

and come out
with a date?

Mia, Mr. O'Connell
is not married,

he's not living
with anyone,

plus he's not
pierced, tattooed,

or hair-plugged.

Do you realize
how rare a find that is

south of market street?

Ok, did it ever
occur to you

that if you dated
one of my teachers,

it would give
the other kids

license to mock me for
the rest of my life?

No, you're right.
I didn't,

and I'm sorry.

It's just that Patrick,

Mr. O'Connell,
is such a nice man.

He's a real gentleman,

and I haven't met
one of those

in a long, long time.

Ok, ok.
It's fine.

I just can't do anything
right anymore, can I?

Come on!
Go for it!

Come on, get her!
In your face!

Come on, come on!

Just block one, Mia.
Just block one!

I can't do this.
I'm a girl.

What am I, a duck?

No! I mean...

You're an athletic
girl, ok?

I am a synchronized swimming,

yoga-doing, um,
horseback-riding,

wall-climbing-type girl.

My hand-eye
coordination is zero.

All right, you can
go again later.

Josh! Get in here.

Yeah, I'm in.

So, I was watching
you earlier,

and, um,
you're way tense,

you know what
I'm saying...

♪ Soft kisses
on a summer's day ♪

You gotta think
like the ball.

You gotta be the ball.

You gotta stop it,
know what I mean?

Heh?
Heh.

Bring it on.

Hey, Joe?
Mmm-hmm?

I'm gonna
turn the back seat

into a dressing room,
so I can change

into a proper outfit
for madame, ok?

Yes, well, don't
forget your shoes.

Oh, thanks.

Strange town,
San Francisco.

When I purchased
the pumps,

they asked if I
wanted them wrapped

or if I wanted
to wear them.

All right, closing.

♪ Ah ah bop bop ba dop

♪ Oh oh bop bop ba dop ♪

Going up.

♪ Oh little bitty pretty one

♪ Come on and talk to me ♪

♪ Let me grab you
Lovely one ♪

You all right?

Yeah, oh, I'm fine.

Going down.

Ah!

♪ Oh oh bop bop ba dop

♪ Oh oh bop bop ba dop

♪ Oh oh bop bop ba dop ♪

I've never put on pantyhose,
but it sounds dangerous.

Grandma?

Is it customary
in Genovia

to imprison
your dinner guests

with, um,
with Hermeez scarves?

It's Hermes.

The scarf is merely
a training tool.

Eventually you will
learn to sit and eat
properly without it.

Manners matter.

But enough etiquette
for the day.

Now, Genovia does a lot
of trade with Spain,

so we prepare for that.

Sorry.

The quickest way to
a Spanish heart is dance.

Shall we?

Now tell me, what kind
of dancing do you do?

Dancing?
Oh, just the normal kind,

you know, like, um...

♪ Bom chicka bom bom

♪ Bom bom ♪

I see.

We have a
Genovian alternative.

Now, the dances here
are very sedate,

right from the hips.

In place.

No bobbing
of the head, please.

It's not a doggy
on a dashboard.

Straight,
straight, straight up.

Let's practice
this here.

Now, this dance is
between a Waltz
and a Tango, you see?

It's a Wango?

No.

All right, here we go.
Spin out.

Spin out.

And spin into me.
Spin into uhh!

Ok.

I no, no. No,
no, no, no.

Try again. No.

One more spin.
Very quickly,
now pull away.

That's it. Good.

Good attitude.
Spin in.

Good.
I did it?

Yes.

Grandma, I spun without
hurting anyone!

That's very good news.

Spin, spin, spin.
Yes, done.

Better.
It's coming along.

Now you may go home.

Thank you!
See you tomorrow!

Thank you, Joseph.

You've been wearing
black too long.

This is Coach Harbula.

You can sign up now
for the baker beach party.

Oh! Sorry.
Sorry.

Hey, hey,
Bobby Bad!

Sorry.

Mia!
Are you ready?

Oh, hey.
Oh, I'm really sorry,

but I can't do it today.
I've got a grandma thing,

and just I'll
call you, ok? Bye.

What? Has your
grandma turned into
the big bad wolf?

Shazam.

Cute, Jeremiah, but a way
to a girl's heart

is not by treating her
like a vending machine.

Get off the grass!

Hi, Adolpho!
I'm late!

She's late.

You're late.
I know.

I'm really sorry about it.

And where is Paolo?

Send in Paolo.

Ah!
Always prompt.

Regina Mia. Buongiorno.

My assistant,
Gretchen and Helga.

Good afternoon.

We're so pleased you
could make yourself
available to be here.

Your Majesty.

Uh, we won't waste time.
Let the work begin.

Ah. Of course.

Where is
the beautiful girl?

My granddaughter, Amelia.

She is gorgeous.
Let us take a closer look.

Paolo, we have a limited
number of days

before the state dinner.

Frizzy, busy, dizzy.

In the best sense.

Oh, I would like it

if your ladies
would also sign

our confidentiality agreement.

Majesty, they know
what is a secret, eh?

Excuse me,
Your Majesty.

The Genovian
press secretary is
waiting for your call.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, I'm afraid I'm
going to have to leave

and come back
and be surprised.

Uh...

Charlotte, watch
him like a hawk.

Buerste, Helga!

Danke.

So we begin,
principessa, eh?

In Paolo's hands, remember,

you will be beautiful.

You have
thick hair.

Like a wolf.

Ow!

Is all right.

Do you wear
contact lenses?

Well, I have them,

but I don't really like
to wear them that much.

Now you do.

You broke my glasses!

You broke my brush.

Gretchen!
Helga! Attack!

I love
your eyebrows.

We'll call them
Frida and Kahlo.

If Brooke Shields
married Groucho Marx,

that child would have
your eyebrows.

Do you want to know
a big secret?

Tell me.

The cucumber,
it does nothing.

This is
something we make up.

Majesty, Paolo is exhausted,

because Majesty, only Paolo
can take this,

and this,
and give you...

A princess.

Better.
Much better.

Mille grazie.

Why don't we go

and have a wonderful
cup of tea?

Si.

Come, Mia.

Lilly, the car's here!

I'm coming!

Thanks for the ride.
Thank you.

Hey.

What?

Michael, don't always think
you can get a ride with us...

Oy.

Who destroyed you?

Oh, um, you think
it looks that bad?

You look ridiculous.
You should sue.

Well, um...

I know it's a little
straighter and shorter...

Weirder!

An attractive weirder.

No.
It's not attractive.

Seat belts, please.

What I really
can't understand,

you ditched me
again yesterday,

when I really needed your help
on the Greenpeace petition.

This bag! You have
one of these bags?

You know we could hock
that and feed a whole
third world country?

Am I right?

No.

If there are
no more passengers,

I think we should
close the door.

I mean, you used
to care more about

what was inside your head
instead of on it.

Come on, Mia.
Fess up.

I don't know where
you are these days,

and now you're turning
into an a-crowd wannabe?

You're morphing into
one of them!

And who knows, next week

you could be waving
pom-poms in my face.

You sold out!

Was my rear-view mirror
fogging up

or was someone
tearing back there?

I'm fine.

Very well, then I'll go
meet your grandmother.

But you should know that
no one can make you feel
inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt
said that.

Yes. Another special lady
like yourself.

I'll be back at 3:00.

Thank you.

She has a hat.

Do you really think
wearing that hat

is going keep people from
seeing your new Lana-do?

Just because
the student population

might be morally bankrupt
doesn't mean they're blind.

Lilly!
Just stop it, ok?

Just because your hair
sucks, get off mine!

Ouch. Thank you.

Michael, can you please
pretend you have a life
for just one moment?

Hey, relax. Breathe.

What did you just say to me?

You heard me.

I am so sick
of you ragging
on me all the time

and always telling
me what to do.

I get enough of that
from my mother

and now my grandmother,
and I don't need it from you!

I'm not an idiot,

so I know something's going on
that you're not telling me!

Friends tell,
so you know what?

Here is your
friendship charm.

I'm taking it off
and it's going in the dirt!

Don't do that, ok?
Just ugh!

All right, just wait.

Why?

I will tell you the truth,

but you're gonna think
it's really stupid

and you're gonna freak.

Try me.

Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Is that all you can say?

I'm sorry I was harsh,

and I don't know what
else there is to say.

Will you come
on my cable show?

No, I can't. This is
a royal secret, ok?

You can't tell anyone.
Not even Michael.

Especially not Michael.
But you are sworn to secrecy.

Of course.
Come on, secret handshake.

You know,
we might have to think of
a new secret handshake.

Are you really sure
you can run a country?

I mean, you can barely
keep your goldfish alive

for more than
a couple of days.

You know, Lilly, I'm not
really sure of anything
right now.

Listen, there are pros and
cons to being a princess.

Shh! Don't say that word.
People can hear.

Ok!

Class has begun!

Class has begun and I have
a little surprise for you.

Pop quiz.
French revolution.

Oh, Mr. O'Connell,
there's a school rule

that says nobody's allowed
to wear hats in class.

And I don't think
anybody should be

an exception to
that rule, do you?

No, Lana.

Mia, I'm sorry, but hats
are against the dress code.

Mia?

Mamma Mia.

Look who's trying
to fit in now.

It's a wig, right?

I think it looks
really sweet, Mia.

Looks like she got
a head transplant.

Well, I think it rocks.

And you know what?

Voltaire. Hair.

I would personally like
to learn about Voltaire.

Ok, Lilly, ok.

Ok, everybody
settle down now.

Quiz time, ok?

The roses are lovely.

But now we need fountains,

lights in the trees.

The Japanese embassy has
a waterfall,
for heaven's sake.

Why can't
we have fountains?

We have a fountain
up there, Ma'am.

Yes, well, I would like
at least two in here.

Charlotte,
just make me an eden.

Yes, Ma'am.

Mmm. Amelia?
Hmm?

Let's continue.

In your spare time,
I would like you to
read these.

"What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose
by any other word
would smell as sweet."

And so you wave to them
and acknowledge them gracefully.

Hello.
No, no.

Not quite so big,
because, of course,

it's very, very
exhausting after a while.

Very funny, dear.
Try it properly.

Waving even more gently. Hello.

You sort of say, "Thank you
for being here today."

Thank you.
Thank you. For being here.

I'm sorry,
Ma'am.

I must pick up
the Prime Minister.

Excuse me.

Oh, well, thank you.
For being here today.

So, this is
considered art?

My parents
did this in the 60s.

Yes! They had an exhibition
at Woodstock.

And I guess you're trying
to bring it back?

Well, yeah,
this beats homework.

Yeah. Some moms help
their kids with homework,

we do this. Yeah.

Oh, nice shot!

Oh, yes, I like it.

Bull's-eye!

Yeah!
I did it!

♪ I love life
Life loves me

♪ Everything in the world ♪

This is more fun
than princess lessons.

What are you doing
this Saturday night?

Oh, are you guys
playing?

We're rehearsing
some new things.

We got two new songs.

Oh, yeah?

Plus, surprise,
we got the new parts

for your 'stang.

Oh, yay.

We could put it together together.

Ok. Well, is this
like a date?

No.

Music, cars.

Well, would it
include pizza?

Of course.
Pizza's a given.

With M&Ms?

Wait up! Wait for me!

Not you!
I don't even know you!

Well, then, I am in.
Hi!

Great!

Whoo-hoo!

Saturday, it's on?

Yeah. Great.
Hi. Hey, Lil.

Hi.
What's up?

What's happening
over there?

I don't know.

What's going on?

Maybe it's a protest. Maybe.

Um, excuse me. Hi.

Who are you all
waiting for?

There she is right there!
That's Mia Thermopolis!

We're waiting for you.

Right here, princess!
Talk to me!

Lilly, did you tell?

I didn't say anything!

Princess Mia! Who's
your favorite actor?

Why are they calling
her princess?
Mia!

Princess Mia,
what do you do about pimples?

Come on.
Let's just go, please!

Can we quote you,
Your Majesty?

Come on, Mia.
Let's get inside.

Oh, Mia!
Aw!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Excuse me, Mister? Hi!

The phone's ringing
off the hook.

What?

Oh!

Mia,
your mother's on her way.

Gupta.

Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

The Queen is coming
to Grove High School.

A limo with flags!

A Genovian
limousine has arrived.

The Queen is getting out.

Your Majesty,
why all the secrets?

All we keep hearing
is, "No comment,
no comment."

Do you have a comment?

Your Majesty.

Will you be visiting
the white house?

Are you taking
the princess home?

Mom, I don't know
who told on me.

We'll get to
the bottom of this.

Here's your tea,
Your Majesty.

I'm sorry we don't
have finer China.

That's perfectly
all right.

Here.

Joseph?

Speak.
Paolo?

Majesty, it was I
who told the press
about you, principessa.

I outed you.
So to speak.

I don't mean
to imply...

Grazie. Ah. Prego.

But not for money, principessa.

Paolo hates money.
He spits on money.

There was no money.

Well, there
was some money.

After all, a man like me,
each ring is...

The point is,
it was pride and ego

who drove me to know that
royalty would see one day

the beauty was mine!
The hair was mine!

That I,
Paolo Puttanesca,

was responsible for... Grazie.

Prego.

By the way,
your hair magnificent.

The next time, we go
a little lighter, huh?

Your Highness,
would you like to
say anything?

Isn't that
just awful?

Doesn't anyone respect
royalty anymore?

What is it like in
Genovia, Your Majesty?

Do people just fawn
over you?

I wonder,

would you give us
a moment alone?

I'm the Vice-Principal.

Joseph, would you take
this fine educator

and show her your security
plans for Amelia's safety?

What?

Ah, yes, of course.

Your Majesty,
thank you.

Your security system
is a bit lax.

Oh, is it?

A week ago,
Mia was a normal little kid.

She has never been normal.
She was born royal.

And we cope with the press
every single day

and we will do it again.

You don't have to do this.

You can get out of
this whole thing right now.

Your mother is right, Amelia.

We had a bargain.

All right.
I will think about it

and let you know soon.

Good.
A diplomatic answer.

Polite, but vague.

Mia Thermopolis
is the daughter

of local eclectic artist,
Helen Thermopolis.

They currently live in
a refurbished firehouse,

south of market street.

Mia is also the only
grandchild of
Queen Clarisse Renaldi,

whose husband, King Rupert,
passed away last year.

This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.

Will the Feng Shui Club

please stop rearranging
the tables on the lawn?

Hello?
Princess?

You're the most popular
girl in school.

Everybody wants to take
your picture.

Everybody wants to be
your best friend.

Hi, Lilly. Hi.

Ok, so you know what?
I've made a list

of all the reasons for you
not to be a princess.

Number one, no privacy.

Number two, you always have
to look just right.

Number three...
Whoo!

Are you ok?

Number three.
What was number three?

Ok, number three,
you can't go nutso.

You can't be all like, blah,
during the day.

Lilly, Lilly, um...

I really don't want
to talk about this
at the moment, ok?

Ok. Ok. well,
just one last question.

Now that you're out,

would you come on my cable
show on Saturday night?

Yeah, sure.

I love you!

Ok, I'm gonna buy you another
charm for your charm bracelet.

Ok? Ok. Woo!

See you Saturday night!

Joe!

Yes, Miss Mia?

I don't want to run
my own country.

I just want to pass
10th grade,

so can't I just tell everyone
that I simply quit?

No one can quit being
who they really are,

not even a princess.

Now, you can
refuse the job,

but you are a princess
by birth.

How can I tell if I can
even do the job?

By simply,
simply trying.

Like the fancy dinner
coming up.

She thinks you're ready.

Really?

Shall we practice
entering like
a princess?

Ok.

Entering.

At the Grand Ball,
you enter with the Queen,

but at the state dinner,
you enter unaccompanied.

Shoulders back. Smile.

They're all happy
to see you.

Ah, there she is.

How is she?

You are much prettier.

Well done.
The worst is over.

Our diligent Prime Minister,
Sebastian Motaz.

Hello.

And his lovely wife, Sheila.

Hi, nice to meet you.
Hello, dear.

And their charming
daughter, Marissa.

Oh! Lord Fricker, let me
take your brandy glass.

You won't need it
in there.

And easy on
the Schnapps.

Remember
the winter dinner.

I'm not allowed to
go to the party.

Dinner is served.

Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse.

Someday we will own
Genovia again

and you will be Queen.

And your face will be
on a postage stamp.

How are
the children, Robbie?

Would you like
to see them, Ma'am?

There's Ryan
and there's Bridget.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Would you like to see?

So, Mr. Prime Minister,

how would you say
the pear market
is doing in Genovia?

The Genovian pear market
is blossoming,

if you'll
pardon the pun.

And that's
their princess.

They grow up so fast,
don't they?

Hi. You wanted
to see me?

Is everything
all right?

Um, yes, yes.

What was happening
with the ice bucket?

Oh. Um, I I just had
a little clumsy moment.

Ok. Bye.

The food's delicious,
by the way.

It was for
a feminist group in Scotland

called Tarts for Tartan.

They were
a wild bunch.

Very exciting.

Thank you.

Between the courses
to cleanse the palate.

Mmm.
Yeah.

I'm sorry.
It's a little cold.

She didn't realize
it was frozen.

What should we do?

Well, we should take
that much, too.

Just do
the same thing.

No! No!
It's cold!

They are acting
like monkeys.

Ah!

Have you ever experienced
that instant headache,

when you eat ice
too quickly?

No.

Wash your hands.

Excuse me.

I'm really sorry.

It happens
all the time.

I would like
to propose a toast

to the Baroness and Baron
von Troken.

May you always be Baron.

Ah, the famous Genovian
pear and cheese dessert.

What else?

Oh.

You are nothing but
an overdressed, drunken...

I'm outta here!

Oh! I am sopping!

Was that my fault?

Shall we adjourn to
the Grand Hall for coffee?

Sorry I let you down, Dad.

Good night, Louie.

This place was such
a mess when I first arrived.

I've been spending every
spare moment in it I can.

Pick up one of these.
Make yourself useful.

Spray everything.

You're not mad at me
for what happened?

Actually, I found it
rather funny.

Reminds me of my first
royal dinner party.

I accidentally knocked
over a suit of armor

and the spear went right
through the suckling pig.

Amelia, why don't we
cancel lessons for today

and just have some fun?

Fun?

You mean you're not too busy
for something like that?

Your Majesty, Lady Jerome
has just arrived,

and I have the French
Consulate's assistant on hold.

He wants to confirm
tonight's dinner.

Send my apologies.

Cancel everything
for today.

I'm being shown
San Francisco

by a true
San Franciscan.

Tell Joseph
I'll need the car.

Yes, Ma'am.

Oh, wait! I want to
show you my baby.

♪ It's a she thing
And it's all in me

♪ I can be anything
That I want to be

♪ Don't consider me
A minority

♪ Ladies, help me out ♪

I haven't sat
in the front seat of a car

in the longest time.

By the way,
thanks for the money
for my car, Grandma.

So, where
are you taking me?

Well, do you
have any change?

No!

It's not appropriate
for royalty to jingle.

Ok.
I'll get the change.

Oh, this one's
my favorite!

What you do is,
you put the quarter in,

and then
you grab his hand.

I touch that?

Yes, you touch that.

And then
you press the button.

And, uh...
Yeah?

And then you just go.
All right.

Looks
like Rupert's cousin
from Liechtenstein.

How do I know
when it's ready?

Oh, it'll just go.
There you go!

Go, go, go, go, go!
Ow!

You enjoy
this humiliation?

Well, it's hard
the first time,
but you can do it again.

Hold this.
Thank you.

Oh, come on!
You can do it, Grandma!

I'm ready
for you this time!

Ready?

Go! It's going!
It's going!

Go, go, go, go, go!
You're doing it!

You're doing it!
Go! Oh, yes!

Hah! Ho!

Got it! Give me five!

Five?
Five.

Oh!

Oh!

I want one of these!

Just not this one.

So, did my father always
want to be a prince?

Oh, yes.

Except once,
about 15 years ago,

he seriously considered
renouncing his title,

because he met
a lovely artist,

who showed him
wonderful things

about how
life could be.

How he could be.

But?

But he had
a decision to make,

and nobody could
make it for him.

Not I, though many
people thought I did.

Or anybody else.

Phillipe knew
that my firstborn,

his brother Pierre,
wanted to abdicate,

which he did, eventually,

to join the church.

Your father realized
that the love he could
have for one person,

or even two,

could not make him
forget the love

he felt for his country
and its people.

It was the hardest thing
he ever had to do.

Um, oh.

Do you want a bite of this?

Why not?

Well, here goes.

Why, it's delicious!

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, ok! Well, then,
let's get another one!

I know it's the fastest
way back to the consulate,

but I hate this hill!

I do believe I'm beginning
to feel that corn dog.

Uh! Eh! Ah!

Maybe you can just
sneak gently through?

Ok, I'll try. Good.

Right.
Now, blaze on up.

I got it!

Yes,
you've got it.

I got it!

You've got it!

Oh!

Oh!
I haven't got it!

Uh-oh! Mia!

Mia, brake!

Brake! Look out!

Down here!

9-1-1, I need to
report an accident.

You didn't hear the bell?

They put me on hold.

Oh, for
the love of God!

Put down
destruction of
public property.

I will, I will.
And last, but not least,

driving
without a license.

Accompanied by an adult,
whose license expired

45 years ago.

I've been trying to
tell you, Officer.

Licenses don't
expire in Genovia.

Not for the Queen.

Don't I have
diplomatic immunity?

You do, but her
we have to take downtown.

What?

I'm sorry, Miss.

It's all right, Officer.
I understand.

I...

I understand perfectly.

You do?

Mia, no town,
no city, no country,

can function peacefully

if its officers and
its transportation engineers

don't follow
the letter of the law.

Why, I would be proud

to have two such fine,
honorable gentlemen

serving in Genovia.

Aw, shucks, Ma'am.

Ma'am,
we're not all that.

Oh, but you
most certainly are.

As a matter of fact,

I would like to
bestow upon you

the honor of the um...

Genovian Order of the...

Genovian Order of the Rose.

Oh, oh! Ou!

Oh!

Oh.

Would you please kneel?

Um, does anybody
have a sabre?

Oh! I've got an umbrella!

I have an emergency brake.

This will do fine,
thank you.

With the power
vested in me

by the royal
crown of Genovia,

I dub thee...

Artie Washington,
San Francisco, Ma'am.

Arthur Washington.

And I dub thee...

Bruce Macintosh
of San Leandro.

Bruce Macintosh.

Masters of the Order
of the Rose.

And all of you
bear witness

to this auspicious
moment in history.

Please rise.

Wait till I go home
and tell Bernice.

Now, Mia, I know
you don't want to go

all the way downtown, but...

That really
won't be necessary.

No one got hurt, did they?

We're insured. Ok.

Chivalry ain't dead,
you know, so...

Noble Arthur,
how very kind.

Do you
need a lift home?

Oh, that would be
very helpful, thank you.

Come along, Mia.

Good-bye,
trolley people!

Please take the car
to Doctor Motors?

Good-bye! So long!

Good-bye!

Good-bye.

You were awesome!

You are the
coolest Queen ever!

All in a day's work.

Wave good-bye!
That's a Queen!

Would you like to
slide in first?

I never slide.

Good-bye.

Thank you.

Good-bye!

Hey, Bruce!

How about gettin' on
your royal carriage

and gettin' us out of here?

Here she is.

This is the possible
new princess of
Genovia right here.

That's right. Genovia.
Anyone know where
Genovia is? Anyone?

Oh, it's a country
between France and Spain.

That was a question
on Jeopardy.

This is the girl
that won the genetic lottery.

Look!
Here's the Princess!

Ok, back up. Let's go.

The Princess
is late for school.

Could you
sign my backpack?

Hi, Princess.

May I have your
autograph, please?

Hi. What's your name?

Lilly.

Lilly? That's my
best friend's name.

Would you consider you and
the princess best friends?

Um, I would
definitely say that.

I mean, we do
everything together.

We shop together,
we get our hair done together.

We even finish
each other's sentences.

It's very cool.

And what's your name?

Charlotte.

Charlotte? You two
must be twins, huh?

Yes.

You know,
I don't have any sisters,

but I do have a cat,
Fat Louie.

That's a funny name!

Will you take a picture
with me, Princess?

The Princess
is late for algebra.

Thank you so much.

The pack is back.
Are you ready?

♪ Do they see you
When they look at me

♪ Do they see
My many personalities

♪ Oh, no

♪ Can you help me

♪ Does anybody hear me

♪ Can they even see me

♪ This is not reality

♪ Oh ♪

Mia.

♪ Why can't I just
reach up and simply ♪

Hi, hi.

Step into my office.

♪ Why can't I flap my arms
And fly and fly and fly

♪ Tell me why ♪

Hey.

Hi.

So, um,

I hope what Lana
said on TV

didn't freak you out
too much.

No.
Ok, good.

Because I broke up
with her because of it,

and I hate phony
publicity seekers.

Anyway,

Saturday night's
the big beach party.

Uh-huh.

Well, I think
it'd be cool
if we went together.

See you on the waves?

Ok.

Bye.

Attention.

Remember to watch Grove
High School's TV cable show

Saturday nights with
your host Lilly Moscovitz.
Yes!

Michael.

Princess.

You will never guess what
Josh Bryant just asked me.

"Can I borrow a comb?"

No, he asked me
to go to the Baker
Beach Party with him.

That's this Saturday, right?

Yeah, so I was thinking
I could come by
the garage next week

and listen to your band
play then. All right?

Oh, yeah.
That's, yeah.

Are you ok?
Yeah, I'm fine.

All right.
Well, I have to go,

but thank you
so much. Bye!

Bye.

♪ Too many feelings

♪ Emotions
Running away with me

♪ There's a feeling
Inside me ♪

Is Joseph driving you?

No.
Joseph was nice enough
to take the night off.

I'm gonna take the school
bus with the other kids.

Ok. I look like
an asparagus.

But a very, very
cute asparagus.

No, it's ok.
Don't worry.

I'm just gonna
wear my blue suit.

Are you nervous
about the beach party?

No. Actually,
I'm kind of excited.

I think I might get
my first real kiss.

Oh! Who from?
Josh Bryant.

That Backstreet Boy clone
you've had a crush on forever?

Ok, he is not
a Backstreet Boy clone.

He's a sailor.

I thought he was
never nice to you.

Oh, well...

I don't know.
He is now.

I just kind of
hope that

if he kisses me,

um, my foot pops.

Pops?

Yeah. You know,
in old films

whenever a girl
gets seriously kissed,

her foot would
just kind of pop.

Pop!

Ok. I'm gonna go change now.

I hope you get your first
real foot-poppin' kiss.

We are Mark and Brian

and welcome to
the Baker Beach Bash.

Now, with one week
left of school,

you're gonna be
out for the summer,

and we know
what's on your mind.

How are you gonna
find that summer love?

And if you do,
how do you know if it's true?

Well, here to tell us all
about it, please welcome

Lana and the Lanettes!

Lana, Anna, and Fontana!

♪ Stupid Cupid,
You're a real mean guy

♪ Stupid Cupid

♪ I'd like to clip your wings
So you can't fly

♪ Stupid Cupid

♪ I'm in love
And it's a crying shame

♪ Stupid Cupid

♪ And I know that
You're the one to blame

♪ Stupid Cupid

♪ Hey, hey, set me free

♪ Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me

♪ You mixed me up
But good

♪ Right from
the very start

♪ Hey, go play Robin Hood

♪ With somebody else's heart

♪ You got me jumping
like a crazy clown ♪

That was so...

Awesome, huh?
Amazing!

I'm glad
you had fun.
I did.

I thought you'd get
scared, honestly,

'cause most of the girls
I take on the boat,

they freak out.

Oh, no.
I wasn't scared.

♪ Stupid Cupid,
Stop picking on me

♪ Stupid Cupid ♪

And now, it's time for your
favorite talk show host,

direct from
Grove High School,

the lovely Lilly.

It's Saturday night,

and welcome to
my cable show,

Shut Up and Listen.

Later on in my show,

I will be joined by
our very own princess Mia

to discuss
her positive opinion

of the Save the Sea Otter movement.

Until she arrives,

I've asked
Grove's magic master,

Jeremiah Hart,

to entertain us with
some sleight of hand.

Hello, folks.

♪ Hold me, baby
'Cause you love me

♪ With every single touch

♪ It's more than
Just a crush

♪ Baby, you know

♪ Reach me

♪ Only you can see me

♪ And what
I crave so much

♪ It's more than
Just a crush

♪ It's more than
Just a crush

♪ Every time we touch ♪

Awesome!

Hey, Princess!
Give us a smile!

How did they find me here?

What?

How did they find me here?

Hey, wave, everybody!
You're on TV!

Wait, Princess,
don't be shy!

Come back!

Hey, chopper boy,
look over here!

Royal deejays!

Josh!

Oh, no! I am so sorry
about all this.

No, it's fine.
It's fine.

They can't get us
in here.

We were having
such a good time,

and then they came
and ruined it.

I know, I know.
Look, they can't see us,

we can't see them.

We're all alone
in this little shack.

Actually, you know what?

It's kind of cozy in here.

And there's no one
I'd rather be here with
than you, Mia.

Really?

Yeah.

Josh?
Mmm-hmm?

This isn't romantic.

Um, I just...

No. It's my foot.

It's caught in
a volleyball net,

and I...
Yeah. Here.

Hey! My dad
thinks I'm a princess!

I'm a friend of Mia's!

I tell you what.
While we're waiting,

how about
a foot massage?

That would be so wonderful.
Thank you.

No. Actually, I mean
you give me one.

Oh, yeah.

And indeed, it is
the Queen of hearts!

Thank you, Jeremiah,

for your potpourri
of prestidigitations

for the past hour.

Obviously, Princess Mia
has a problem

appearing here tonight,

and I'm sure
she has a good excuse.

I'm Lilly Moscovitz
for Shut Up and Listen.

Thank you and good night.

Mia.

The coast is clear.

Really?

They're gone. Yeah.

Oh, good.

So, what do you say
we go find

a more romantic spot?

Ok.

Quiet! Quiet!

No! Stay!

Give her a smooch!

Come on!
Give her a big,
sloppy wet one!

Hold it!

Hit him again!
Hit him again!

Go away! No, no, no!
Get go away, all of you!
Leave me alone!

The Princess has
left the building.

Who have we got?

What's your name?
Where do you
go to school?

Josh bryant.

I go to Grove High School.

What are we,
friends with Mia now?

Yes. We hate Josh.

Sorry. It's hard to keep up
with who we're not talking to.

Here she comes!

Mia!
Mia!

I'm really sorry.
I can't talk.

I have to go
get my clothes.

Well, here.
We've got your clothes.

You'll be a lot warmer.

You guys
want to help me?

Yeah. You know,
Josh is such an idiot.

We're gonna make sure
no one bothers you.

Thank you. Um...

That's really
nice of you.

This is
so great of you.

Thank you so much.

Everything's fine.

Is anybody coming?

No!

Guys, I really
appreciate this.
Thank you.

She's got her
bathing suit off.

Ok, now!

Princess, hi!

That was
the scream of Princess Mia.

Go away, all of you, please!

Ok. Come here, Mia.

Piranhas, all of you!
Back off!

My mom always
told me I couldn't cry

and told me to be a big girl,

but you've been hurt,
so you just cry, ok?

It was really bad.

My foot didn't
even pop.

It was
just last night

that San Francisco's
own little princess
partied at the beach,

but what started out
as innocent fun

soon turned into
allegedly too much fun.

This is Suki Sanchez
for KPFW.

Please say something.

Well,
there's not much to say.

A picture's worth
a thousand words,

and you have two pictures.

I really embarrassed
the family, didn't I?

Not to put too fine
a point on it, yes, you did.

I think you're making
a wise decision

to abstain from the job.

I suppose I won't come
to the ball then.

Well,
of course you should come.

You're still family.

Just because you don't
want to be our princess

doesn't mean we're
sending you into exile.

Your mother's
planning to come.

All your guests are invited.

Except for your beach friends.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm meeting with
the press in an hour

to do some damage control.

You can come in now.

If I may say so,

that did not
go very well.

Is this the way
a princess should act?

My information tells me
that boy was using her.

The kiss was
merely a device,

so that he could get
his 15 minutes of fame.

And her friends
didn't help, either.

Anna, Falana, Banana,
Bandana, Montana...

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Why didn't she have
enough common sense

to deal with this?

She's only 15.

But today, she acted
beyond her years.

She showed great respect

and gracefully accepted
your criticism.

You're saying that as a Queen,
I was too harsh on her.

I was critical
of the person

who could become the next
ruler of my country.

No. I'm saying,
as a grandmother,

you might have
been too harsh

on your granddaughter.

Do you think she can do it?

Oh, I have
no doubts, Ma'am.

I thought so, too.

♪ What makes you different

♪ Makes you beautiful

♪ What's there inside you

♪ Shines through to me

♪ In your eyes I see

♪ All the love
I'll ever need ♪

Hey, it's Mia Thermopolips.

Can you autograph your
picture for me? Josh did.

Hey, there's
Princess Pucker-up.

♪ What makes you different
Makes you beautiful

♪ What's there inside you

♪ Shines through to me

♪ In your eyes I see

♪ All the love
I'll ever need ♪

Lilly?

Hey, can I talk to you
for a minute, please?

Lilly, can I just
talk to you for a minute?

Is that cool?
Sure.

Let's talk.

But about what, hmm?

How you broke
my brother's heart,

or how you stuck me
with Jeremiah

during my cable show
doing, "Pick a card,

"pick a card, pick a card."
Blah, blah, blah!

I'm sorry, ok?

I forgot to call you
and tell you that
I couldn't make it.

So I was stuck with
the happy Houdini,

while you're making out
with the yachting yahoo.

Those are really
good alliterations.

No! I don't want to talk
about alliterations!

Lilly, I came up here to
tell you that I'm sorry!

Ok? I'm sorry I missed
your cable show,

and I'm just
really sorry.

I can't believe that
you hung me up

after all I did for you.

You know, I kept
your royal secret.

And do you know
how hard it is

to have a cable show
and keep a secret?

You didn't keep it
a secret from me

how jerky you thought
my being a princess was.

Well, congratulations.
You got your wish.

I'm not gonna be
a princess.

You're not?

No.

But I want you to be.

What?

I didn't mean it.

Just the green monster
of jealousy came out,

because you
were Miss popular

and I thought I was
losing my best friend

so I got angry and upset
and hurt and...

I told you!

I need
an attitude adjustment.

But the truth is,

you being a princess
is kind of a miracle.

Whoa! No!

What miracle?

It's a nightmare!

No! Think about it!

I just found out
that my cable show

only reaches 12 people.

Wanting to
rock the world,

but having
zip power like me.

Now, that's a nightmare.

But you...
Wow!

I mean...

Ok, what is so "Wow?"

Wow is having the power
to affect change,

make people listen.

How many teenagers
have that power?

What more of a miracle
do you want?

Well...

We'll just have to find
a different miracle.

Not more, just different.

Listen.

Tomorrow night

is the Genovian
Independence Day Ball,

and to make up for my
missing your cable show,

I'm inviting you.

I hope you'll forgive me

and I hope you come.

But what
will I wear?

Mmm! Yay!

I don't know, but it
doesn't really matter.

I'm just gonna be happy
that you're gonna come!

Thanks and you
can be a princess.

No, I can't.
Yes, you can.

No, I can't.
Yes, you can.

Come on, let's move it in.
Move in! Let's go!

Bobby Bad,
hang up the phone!

Yes, Mom.
I'll go to the dentist
after school.

I hate it when they
move in like that.

Mia, it's not
a championship game.

It's not even a big game.
It's just gym class.

Just hit the ball.

I don't want to flunk you
in gym class.

Come on. You can do it.

Keep your eye
on the ball.

That's all right! That's ok!

You're gonna hit it anyway!

Go, Lions!

Oh, come on, girls.
It's a ball, not a snake.

Back in formation!

I'm sorry.

Foul ball.
Ok. It's all right.

You got a piece of it.
It's ok.

Just focus.

Focus.

Focus.

That's all right! That's ok!

Come on, Mia.
Remember, it's
only a game!

Keep your eye on the ball.

Go, Lions!

Great!

Let's go! Let's go!

Hey, Mia!
Would you rather hit
a beach ball?

Order me a pizza, huh?
Pepperoni.

Oh! Oh!

Run, Mia!

All right!
Go! Go!

I gotta go.

Get up!

What are you doing?
Get up!

All the way, Mia!

Ah!

Hi, Josh.

Come on, girl!

All the way, Mia! Come on!

Safe! And you passed.

Whoo! Mia!

Nice job, Mia.
Way to go!

Oh! Uh, it's open.

Come on in.

Michael! Hi.

How are you?

What?
Little guy on your...

Oh!

Um...

Did Lilly tell you
that I called,

because I called.

I brought your car.

Oh, thank you.

Seven times
I called...

Doc said that he fixed
what he could

and if you had any problems
to give him a call.

Oh, ok. Um...

Do you want
the check now?

'Cause I have
the last payment and...

Yeah. Thank you.

Are you
hungry or thirsty?

No.

Oh! Here it is.

Um, look.

Thank you so much
for doing this for me.

It's really,
really great of you.

I didn't do it for you.
Doc lets the band practice...

Right. Of course.

I help with the cars.

Oh, here.

Oh, thanks.

I know you're
still mad at me

for blowing you off

and I'm really
sorry I did.

But I am going to try
to make it up to you.

How?

Well, um,
I'm still going

to the Genovian
Independence Day Ball

and I'm inviting you.

It could be fun,
you know.

I'm wearing
this great dress

that I can't breathe in

and Lilly's
got a date, and...

Josh looks better in a tux.

Oh. Um...

But, see, it's...

I really want you to be
the one I share it with.

You don't have to
wear a tux.

You can wear sweatpants
for all I care, you know?

Don't don't worry about me.

I just consider myself
royally flushed.

Ow!

Stop the bovine massacre!

Sign up now and save a cow!

Vegetarians have right
to eat special.

Make Grove School
more tofu-friendly.

Hello.

Hi. Go sit
by Jeremiah.

I'll be there
in a minute.

Ok.

She's wearing
that dorky hat again.

Hey, you want
to see a trick?

Um...

No. Not right now.

What are you doing?
Are you, like,
writing a story or...

Oh, well,
my portfolio's increased

by 30%
since the last quarter.

Look what we have.

The perfect
nerd couple.

Jeremiah and Mia.

Oh! Miah and Mia!

Oh, but listen, Jere.

My friends and I
were wondering.

The sweater you're wearing,

was it designed for you

or did the knitting
machine just blow up?

Sunglasses, girls.

It's Jeremiah
hair glare.

Is one of your magic
tricks your hair?

Hey, Lana?
Huh?

You know,

that is such a cute
cheerleading outfit.

It's so clean-cut.

I bet it goes
with anything.

Of course it does.

Mia, you're such a freak!

Yeah. Yeah, I am,
but you know what?

Someday I might just
grow out of that,

but you, you will never
stop being a jerk.

Lana got coned!

Lana got coned!

Lana got coned!

Mia!

Toodles.

Lana got coned!

Mrs. Gupta, did you see
what she did to me?

Oh, no, honey, I'm sorry.

I was in a very
important meeting.

Send it out
for dry cleaning.

Lana got coned!

It's a present
for your 16th birthday

from your father.

It was found
among his possessions.

My birthday's
not for two weeks.

I know,

but I wanted you to have it
before we leave.

I return to Genovia
the day after tomorrow.

Thank you.

It's locked.

If you open the locket
I gave you,

it becomes the key.

Thank you for
bringing it down here.

I also
came to apologize

for the way I spoke to you
about the beach incident.

It was judgemental of me.

I didn't pause
to verify the facts.

That's all right, Grandma.

I've been thinking
about it a great deal,

and the truth is,

I think you'd make
a very fine princess.

You know, people think
princesses are supposed
to wear tiaras,

marry the Prince,
always look pretty,

and live
happily ever after,

but it's so much more
than that.

It's a real job.

You are an extraordinary
person, Grandma.

But I don't think
I'm meant to do this.

I would be so afraid

that I would disappoint
the people of Genovia

and I couldn't bear
to disappoint you again.

Well, as I said,

I have faith in you.

I'm a writer.
Ah!

I write soaps.
Soap opera.

Mmm-hmm.

Did you ever see
Middle House Road?

No. No.

It's a big hit.

I wrote a character
just like you once.

He was a spy.

I'm not a spy.

That's what
the character said.

I'll see you
tonight, then.

Mmm-hmm.

I do have
one favor to ask.

Mmm-hmm.

I need you to formally
renounce your title

for the Press.

At the ball, you know?

Make a speech?
Mmm-hmm.

Um, well, do you
think that maybe,

considering my history
with the Press,

it would be better
if you did it?

Amelia, you wouldn't stop
driving your Mustang

just because
a couple of insects

hit the windshield,
would you?

Besides, look how far
you've come,

and I'll be
right there with you.

I'll have Joseph
pick you up at 7:00.

Uh, no. Um...

I promise I'd let
my mom drive me.

She wants to drive me
to my first ball

or something.

All right.
I'll see you there, then.

Mmm-hmm.

Uh, Grandma?

I am sorry.

Oh, my dear.

You are first and
foremost my granddaughter.

Please don't be late.

♪ Hold on
But don't hold too tight

♪ Let go and soon
It'll be all right

♪ Don't run away from
What your heart is sayin'

♪ No

♪ Be strong and face
What you're afraid of

♪ Come on, show 'em
What you're made of

♪ I know it's hard
When your hope is gone

♪ But you gotta
Keep holdin' on

♪ Hold on

♪ You're gonna make it

♪ You gotta be strong now ♪

Thank you dad, but

I can't be a princess, ok?
I don't make speeches

and I'm not
Clarisse Renaldi.

And I just...

I can't do it, ok?

I'm scared.

Joseph.

Charlotte,
Miss Kawa.

Hello.
Nice to meet you.

Pardon me. I have to go
get the band ready.

Of course.

Should you be going
to get princess Mia?

Well, Mia told Clarisse

that her mother
would be bringing her.

Helen just arrived and said
Mia was waiting for you.

She's going to run.

Come on, fat Louie.
Time to pack.

Let's get your things.

Louie, what have you
got there?

Come on, Louie.

We're going on a trip.

We're going to Colorado

where we can climb
some real rocks.

We are so out of here, Louie.

"My dearest daughter.

"Today is
your 16th birthday.

"Congratulations.

"I present you
with this diary,

"to fill the pages with
your special thoughts

"Special thoughts
of your wonderful life."

PHILLIPE'S VOICE
"It is a custom in my family

"to pass on
a piece of wisdom

"when one reaches this age.

"I pass it on to you

"as my father
passed it on to me.

"Amelia, courage is not
the absence of fear

"but rather the judgement

"that something else is
more important than fear.

"The brave
may not live forever,

"but the cautious
do not live at all.

"From now on,
you'll be traveling the road

"between
who you think you are

"and who you can be.

"The key
is to allow yourself

"to make the journey.

"I also want you to know

"I loved your mother
very much

"and still think of her often.

"Happy birthday, my Mia.

"All my love, your father."

And there's
Countess Puck of Austria,

as the glamorous
continue to arrive

at the Genovian
Independence Ball.

Despite the threat of rain,

the big turnout includes
the Mayor of San Francisco

and a Genovian
pear juggler.

The future of Genovia
is in the hands of
young Mia Thermopolis.

Her decision tonight will
affect the Queen, the court,

and all the people of
this small but proud country.

Do you think
it's gonna rain on us?

It never comes down
on Willie Brown.

Thank you.

Umbrellas up!

And that's
enough pear juggling.

The trip is off, Louie.

Oh! Perfect.

Oh, come on.
Oh, come on, baby.

Genovians, you know,

are famous for their
impeccable taste in art.

Also for their cheese.

Maybe it's string cheese.

Don't do this, baby.

Argh!

Gotcha!

Sorry, Mr. Robotusen!

Here you go.
It's already paid for.

I didn't order a pizza.
I'm sorry about that.

No, you must've.

Unless there's another
Michael Moskovitz living here.

We get a call, we deliver.

That's our motto.

You don't make
the pizza?

No, no.
I just deliver 'em.

Press passes.
Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, hi.
Where are you from?

Teen Scene Magazine.

Oh, good, good.

The Queen
has entered.

Do we have any news on
the von Troken matter?

It'll be decided
tonight, Ma'am.

I'm afraid so.

Where is she?

She went somewhere!
I know nothing!

Nothing? Come here.

Oh, what? What?

Talk to me.

She went that way,
then that way.

Two minutes ago.

Thank you very much.

Do we have any problems?

No. Everything's
perfect.

Perfect.
It's wonderful.

You're not very good
at lying, Charlotte.

No, I'm not,
Your Majesty.

But the garden
looks beautiful.

Thank you.

Come on, baby.
You can make it.

Yes, come on! Yes!

No. Come on, baby.

Baby, please, come on.

There's no answer
at Princess Mia's house

and I couldn't get Joseph
on the cell phone.

There's too much static
from the storm.

The Press is
starting to complain

about making
their deadlines.

If she's not here in
10 minutes, I'll make
the announcement.

Yes, Ma'am.

It's ok. It's ok.
She'll be fine.

She's gonna get here.

Is this punishment
for driving without

a licensed driver
in the front seat?

I am invisible and I am wet.

The Press was wondering
if it would be possible
while we were waiting to...

No. No interviews until
later in the evening.

Yes, Ma'am.

And we're meeting
Baroness and Baron von Troken.

Is it true if the teenager
refuses the princess-ship,

your family will take over
the country of Genovia?

Yes. They must have
a legitimate

Renaldi blood relative
or we rule.

No, Ma'am.

Then, it's time.

♪ Catch a falling star

♪ And put it in your pocket

♪ Never let it fade away ♪

You wouldn't happen to be
running away, would you?

What?
Dressed like this?

No.
I'm going to a ball.

Good.

Get in.

Her Majesty, the Queen.

My fellow Genovians
and honored guests,

good evening.

I apologize for the delay and...

Oh, hello.

And may I say,

welcome to our grand Genovian
Independence Day Ball.

No, there's
no time to change.

You look fine.

Pretty and fine.
Just fine.

Oh!
No running.

Please, no running.

Good.
It's nice.

A very special moment.

Thank you so much
for your patience.

I have an announcement
to make.

My granddaughter...

Ahem.

She's here!
I see.

I would like to announce that
my granddaughter has arrived.

With a fascinating explanation
as to her wardrobe, I'm sure.

She's styling a wet,
sort of grunge-look hairdo

and is wearing a sweatshirt,
jeans, and docs.

Mia, would you care
to say a few words?

Um, yes.

Why didn't we dress like her?
We look like idiots.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

Do you think they're trying
to save money on the gown?

Hi, er, uh, hello.

I'm Mia. Um...

It stopped raining.

Get your tiara ready.

I'm really no good
at speechmaking.

Normally I get
so nervous that I faint

or run away or sometimes
I even get sick.

But you really
didn't need to know that.

But I'm not so afraid anymore.

My father helped me.

Earlier this evening,
I had every intention

of giving up my claim
to the throne.

And my mother helped me,

by telling me that it was ok

and by supporting me like
she has for my entire life.

But...

Then I wondered how I'd feel,

after abdicating my role
as Princess of Genovia.

Would I feel relieved
or would I feel sad?

And then I realized,

how many stupid times a day
I use the word "I."

In fact,
probably all I ever do

is think about myself.

And how lame is that
when there are 7 billion
other people on the planet...

Ahem.

Oh, sorry.
I'm going too fast.

But then I thought,

if I cared about
the other 7 billion out there

instead of just me,

that's probably
a much better use of my time.

See, if I were
Princess of Genovia,

then my thoughts

and the thoughts of people
smarter than me

would be much better heard,
and just maybe

those thoughts could be
turned into actions.

So this morning,
when I woke up,

I was Mia Thermopolis.

But now,

I choose to be forevermore,

Amelia Mignonette
Thermopolis Renaldi,

Princess of Genovia.

I hope you didn't order
your stationery yet.

This was my very
first tiara.

I was rather fond of it.

I'm hoping you will be, too.

Oh. Grandma,
but you had it already.

How did you know
I'd even be here?

Because I recognize
the same spirit in you

as someone else I know.

Who?

Me.

Ah, you made it.

You bet your life,
you big, tall string bean.

Here. Paolo here
to save the day.

♪ Genovia

♪ The land I call my home

♪ Genovia, Genovia

♪ Forever
Will your banner wave ♪

Her Majesty,
Queen Clarisse,

and her royal highness,
Amelia, Princess of Genovia.

I think perhaps we'd better
get you dried off now.

Thank you.

No longer does Mia stand
for "missing in action."

Genovia has a new princess.

They had
the same idea I had,

but now the garden
is occupado.

Why me?

Because you saw me
when I was invisible.

And just
because I'm royal

doesn't mean
I'm any different.

Come on, I'm really
the same person.

Yes, I will have
to live in Genovia,

but I'm still gonna
go to school and...

♪ You showed me faith
Is not gone

♪ I don't need wind
To help me fly

♪ Miracles happen
Once in a while

♪ When you believe

♪ You showed me dreams
Come to life

♪ That taking a chance
On us was right

♪ All things will come
With a little time

♪ When you believe ♪

Dear diary.

Today is my first official day
as princess of Genovia.

We'll land in a few hours

and I'll meet the parliament
and the people

before beginning
my royal duties.

Mom is, of course,
moving to Genovia with me,

and will continue painting,

without the balloons.

Lilly and Michael are planning
to spend their summer vacation

at our, can you believe it, palace.

They're even having
my Mustang brought over,

which I can legally drive
in two weeks.

Grandma's so glad
to be going home.

And Joseph?

Well, he's watching
nearby as usual.

Everybody's got
pre-coronation jitters,

including me.

Everybody, that is,
except Fat Louie.

He's totally adapted
to being a royal.

I guess
he was one all along.

Princess,
look out the window.

And welcome to Genovia.

♪ Miracles happen
Once in a while

♪ When you believe

♪ You showed me
Dreams come to life

♪ That taking a chance
On us was right

♪ All things will come
With a little time

♪ When you believe ♪

♪ I know
Sometimes you feel

♪ Like you don't fit in

♪ And this world
Doesn't know

♪ What you have within

♪ When I look at you

♪ I see something rare

♪ A rose
That can go anywhere

♪ And there's no one
I know that can compare

♪ What makes you different

♪ Makes you beautiful

♪ What's there inside you

♪ Shines through to me

♪ In your eyes I see

♪ All the love
I'll ever need

♪ All I need of love

♪ What makes you different

♪ Makes you beautiful to me

♪ So beautiful

♪ What makes you

♪ What makes you different

♪ Makes you beautiful

♪ To me

♪ Everything you do
Is beautiful

♪ Love is shining
Right through me

♪ Everything in you
Is beautiful

♪ Beautiful

♪ To me

♪ To me ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Mmm-mmm

♪ Mmm-hmm ♪

♪ I know that
you're searching for answers

♪ Afraid that
You'll be left behind

♪ But you can't rush time

♪ You got to wait in line

♪ In time
The answers you'll find

♪ You'll get your wings
At the right time

♪ Each of us
Must learn how to fly

♪ Gotta move on from
What's breaking your heart

♪ Don't let your life
Pass you by ♪