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00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:09,634
Good evening and
welcome to Worm News.
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00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,219
I'm your host, William Worm.
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00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,179
Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm.
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00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,140
Yes, we know.
First up, an election update.
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00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,600
Squiggly Miggly narrowly
clenched the nomination today,
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00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:18,810
making him the
main rival to the
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00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,687
highly unpopular
President Jimble.
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00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,776
Squiggly Miggly's
definitely going to win.
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00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,862
President Jimble has no chance.
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00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:30,321
You never know, Allan.
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After all,
President Ross Perot won
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00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:34,576
re-election in
1996 in a major upset.
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00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,327
Oh, you're so right, Pim.
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00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,329
I forgot about that factoid.
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00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,248
Who are you
going to vote for, Charlie?
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00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:41,332
I don't vote.
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00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,667
OK, I'll tell you why
right now, Pim.
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00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,501
Listen up very carefully.
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00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:46,004
Little guys like you and me
were called ..
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00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,672
and we don't decide
who the President is.
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00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,257
Come on, Charlie. That's silly.
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00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,759
Every single vote matters.
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00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,845
Look, I'm just not interested in
getting involved in politics,
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Okay? Sorry.
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00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,181
Hey, boys,
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00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,808
guess who just got a call to
make the Preside..
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The President will see you now.
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00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:15,492
We do need corn,
you dumb motherfucker!
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Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS!
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh...
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You suck!
You're bad at what you do!
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Quit Motherfucker!
QUIT!
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Good to speak to you, too.
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Thank you. You're terrific.
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Oh, oh, hi.
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Are you two here to bring
me my napkins?
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No.
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Okay, let me just buzz in..
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Mr. President, we're the
Smiling Friends.
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Oh, you's are the
two... two's I called.
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I don't know if you heard,
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but I was the Vice
President to, uh...
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President Pinhead.
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He died last month from a
bad shrimp,
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and I became
the President.
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Yeah, we know.
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It was literally
the bad shrimp.
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Tragedy.
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But now I'm friggin' miserable
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since I became the President.
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All these trolls keep
hating me,
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and I don't...
I don't know why.
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Dude, no offence or anything,
but have you ever thought
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00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,040
that maybe you should not
be President
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00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,458
and maybe you
should, like, I don't know,
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00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,502
go lay on a beach or
something instead and chill out?
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I can't.
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00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:11,297
This upcoming election
is by one ..
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00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,258
to prove I'm not a fluke.
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00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,635
I want to win something
for once in my life
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so people will finally like me.
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President Jimble,
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it doesn't matter how
you got this job.
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What matters now is that you're
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the one sitting behind
that beautiful brown desk,
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and I believe
that's destiny.
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00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,813
Plenty of Presidents
were unpopular until
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they found out they
were good at one specific thing.
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00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,109
We just need to find out
what your thing is,
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00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,652
and you'll definitely
beat Squiggly Miggly.
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00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:33,570
Yeah.
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You're sayin', I can be
the lamb president.
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No, I mean, like, policy,
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like, presidential stuff.
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What?
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Um, anyway, luckily
it's just a two-man race,
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so it shouldn't be
too complicated.
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00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:45,999
Uh, guys,
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I don't know a..
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00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,129
It's no secret that
President Jimble's A..
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is poor, angry and divided.
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That's why Mr Frog
is running for President.
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America needs his
calm and steady
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leadership to build
a safer America.
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A prosperous America,
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a stronger America.
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00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,518
Vote for Mr Frog,
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and together we can build
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Mr Frog's America.
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Hello, I'm Mr Frog
and I approve this message.
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00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,860
No, I don't. I hate you.
Fuck you.
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00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:17,280
Pim, That was amazing. I just
got
goose pimples from watching
that.
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00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,406
Charlie, don't look at that.
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00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,450
Sir, have you ever tried giving
a rousing speech
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00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,659
and inspiring the people?
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Maybe it's your hidden talent.
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I feel nauseous.
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00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,997
Nah, it's just your
nerves talking, man.
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You'll be fine.
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00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:29,959
Hello, Transylvania!
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00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,545
I know most of you don't like
me,
but I'm here to ..
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,506
I can talk good
and give a good speech.
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00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,301
Oh. Excuse me.
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I think that lamb
I had earlier was rotten.
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Okay, perfect.
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That adult diaper should
help with any...
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unfortunate accidents while
you're, ah, feeling unwell.
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00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,649
Can we stop and
get more lamb for lunch?
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00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,275
No, no more lamb.
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00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,486
Pim, did you see Mr Frog just
announced his plan
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00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,404
to fix the economy?
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00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,239
Man, he is good.
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Grr, I'll show that
toad bastard
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an ergonomic plan!
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Hello, America.
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I'm going to be the
money president.
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Each and every one of you
are going to get
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one billion dollars each
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so you can all be rich.
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00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,548
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
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00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,132
You can't do that.
You'll crash the economy.
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00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:20,051
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean
to do that.
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00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,219
Everybody's going to
have to give
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00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,887
back all that money
to the government.
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00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,724
By the way, sorry about
those loud noises.
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That was just my diaper.
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00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,144
I don't want to have another
accident from the bad lamb.
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All better.
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00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,397
Dude, check the news.
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00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,024
It doesn't matter what channel.
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Am I winning yet?
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00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,908
No, no, not at all, man.
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You shit your pants and
crashed the economy
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00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:46,536
within the same day.
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00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:47,996
What are you
talking about, dude?
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00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,206
Pim - Look, the one thing
you've still got over
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00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,750
Mr Frog is is that
you're actually in office.
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00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,376
If we can just
get you this one easy
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00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,503
foreign policy win,
we can make a comeback.
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00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,630
I'm feeling sick again.
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00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:58,757
Oh, my God, dude!
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00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,592
Just get through it quickly.
You'll be ..
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00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,277
Guys, I did it. I did it.
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00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,653
I didn't get sick from
the soured lamb.
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00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,281
You... you were supposed
to condemn him.
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00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:24,699
What?
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00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,118
You just emboldened
a war criminal dictator.
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00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,745
Dude, I don't know anything
about politics,
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00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:29,829
even I know he's bad.
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00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,623
He wiped a whole
fucking race of
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00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,832
people off the
face of the planet.
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00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,126
Maybe it will be all right.
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00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,257
All right, so it looks like
you're projected to
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00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,842
lose every single state
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00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,928
in what could be a
historic landslide for Mr Frog.
156
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,555
But we still have
the debate, I guess.
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00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:49,516
De-bate.
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00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,308
Haha. Debate.
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00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:53,812
If you think about it,
that's a funny word.
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00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,438
De-bate.
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00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,481
Thank you.
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00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,317
Pim, I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.
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00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,026
I'm bailing.
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00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:00,944
All right.
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00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,613
Who was that guy?
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00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,155
What?
167
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,991
Ugh, maybe we should..
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00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,619
Look, I know my brain
don't work no good sometimes,
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00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,788
but what about all
that stuff you told me?
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00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,874
I promise I'll get out there
and try my hardest this time.
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00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:16,668
Yeah, you're right.
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00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,628
No, I'm left.
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00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,089
Left-handed.
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00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,800
Man, this place is a labyrinth.
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00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,093
How the hell
do I get out of here?
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00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,432
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to find my way out of here.
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00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,017
That's okay.
We're just an all-powerful
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00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,019
secret society that
you shouldn't know about.
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00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,564
We're just implementing our
insane secret plan to elect Mr
Frog
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00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,399
through mass
media manipulation.
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00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,859
I knew it. I knew
the voters didn't
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00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,110
actually pick the president.
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00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,862
Yes, and now that you
know our plan,
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00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,030
we're going to cover
you in dirt
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00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,615
and slowly devour you
because we're worms.
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00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,534
No, I'm actually cool with
your guy's plan,
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00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,534
the current guy's
a bonehead.
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00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,203
Oh, really? Cool.
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00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,040
Yeah, Mr Frog's chaos is
exactly what we need to
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00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,624
expand our power. Join us.
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00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,586
Sorry, I can't betray my friend.
He's helping President Jimble.
192
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,088
But I really am a big
fan of Mr Frog, like a huge fan.
193
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,715
I love when he eats the
bug on the show.
194
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,592
He -- He does what?
195
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,718
Yeah, you know,
when he grabs the
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00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,178
bug on the Mr Frog
show and eats it,
197
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,346
it's like his whole thing.
198
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,223
Oh my God!
Aren't we a type of bug?
199
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,852
Wait, stop!
Wait, stop!
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00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,729
Everyone just stop!
Let's just make sure.
201
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,483
Do frogs eat worms?
202
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,277
Yes, yes they do!
203
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,946
Oh my God,
that's TOO much chaos!
204
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,782
We're totally going to
support President Jimble now.
205
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,658
He doesn't eat worms,
he only eats lamb.
206
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,203
Wait, no, no, no, no, no!
207
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:33,953
Decisions final.
208
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:34,662
Goodbye.
209
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,420
Good evening. I'm William Worm.
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00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,464
Before we begin, we have
just received word that
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00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,549
Squiggly Miggly will not be
attending tonight's debate
212
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,469
due to the fact he blew his
head off with a 3D printed
shotgun.
213
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,263
We want to remind the
audience to please not,
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00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,556
ah, talk out loud,
215
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,766
do not applaud.
216
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,142
You're just wasting time.
217
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,270
Now, our first question
tonight goes to Mr Frog.
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00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,440
Mr Frog, why are you so evil?
219
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,692
You have one second to respond.
220
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,401
Hello, I think--
221
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,568
Time's up, plus you're wrong.
222
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:06,820
The next question is for our
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00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,780
beloved and
highly intelligent president.
224
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,824
Why are you so amazing?
225
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,701
You have unlimited time to
respond.
226
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,787
Oh, p-p-presidential...
227
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,288
p-p-p-p
228
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,873
policy, I--
229
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,295
I can't do this.
230
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,591
A little pink guy once
told me I needed to
231
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,427
find out what I would
be good at as president.
232
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,636
I've finally figured it out.
233
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,432
I'm the president who
shouldn't have been the
president.
234
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:36,975
Let's face it, I'm a --
235
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:37,683
retard.
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00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,438
You know, I always
used to want to,
237
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,816
to win the election
and have people like me,
238
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,945
but I don't care about
that any more now.
239
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,031
I just want to
be honest, and everyone
240
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:55,910
that trolled me and
gave me nasty messages.
241
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,662
Fuck you!
242
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:58,580
Fuck off!
243
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,582
JAG-OFF!
244
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:02,500
Thank you.
245
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,879
That answer...
246
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,505
was correct!
247
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:13,470
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
248
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,432
When do the
results start coming in?
249
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,185
Next few
minutes. I got 10 G's says
250
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,687
Jimble's gonna
win, and if he doesn't--
251
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,689
Then I'll take
matters into my own hands.
252
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,441
Ha ha! I'm just kidding!
253
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:27,692
I'll do it, though.
254
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,110
I'm just playing, dude.
255
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,445
No, I'm serious.
256
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,447
But no, I'll actually do it.
257
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,575
Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing
the other day, man.
258
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,369
I guess I'm not
really cut out for politics.
259
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,871
No, it's fine, Charlie.
Everything ended up working out.
260
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,374
I don't know if President Jimble
is gonna win, but something
261
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,209
about that debate
really turned things around.
262
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,045
Yeah, well, you know, it kind of
reminds me how Shrimpo Jones
263
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,380
won those debates
by surprise
264
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,131
and went onto
landslide in 1980.
265
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,134
Oh, Charlie, look at you
with the political facts now.
266
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,761
Yeah, well, hey,
man, who knows?
267
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,596
Maybe you're the one
that got me into politics.
268
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,764
Oh, okay, good!
269
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,182
Getting political! I see a
new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh!
270
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,350
I've seen you, Charlie!
271
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,435
Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha!
272
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,604
Shut up! The
results are coming in.
273
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,106
And now for an election update.
274
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,733
Mr Frog and President Jimble
are in a virtual tie.
275
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,568
The only state yet
to be called is the state
276
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,737
of Pennsylvania
with its 19 electoral votes.
277
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,699
Whoever takes this state
will be our next president.
278
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,075
Oh, my God!
279
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,493
Jimble could really win this!
280
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,537
Uh, breaking.
We're just getting this now.
281
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,580
Ah, the state of
Pennsylvania has just been
282
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,125
called for Mr Frog
by one single vote,
283
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,920
making Mr Frog the
president-elect of the United
States.
284
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:29,921
Oh, this can't be right.
285
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:30,755
Don’t look at me, I don’t
know w..
286
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:31,381
Wait, what?
287
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,757
And we're getting
conf..
288
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,010
the one single vote
was from this guy.
289
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,594
We're putting his name,
face address and
290
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,973
social security number on screen
for our millions of viewers now.
291
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,307
Glep, What the fuck.
292
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,225
Dude? Why?
293
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,561
Well, whatever
I do now is on Glep.
294
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,855
Glep, why would
you vote for Mr Frog?
295
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,606
Our job was to
help President Jimble.
296
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,028
Oh, okay, yeah. Good point.
297
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,279
That makes sense.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay.
298
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,546
This is the life.
21497
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