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1
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,986
On speaker: Hi, honey,
this is your mother.
2
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,780
Listen, [know you're
very busy with the new job,
3
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,657
but please try and call us.
4
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,076
Did you get the birthday
sweater we sent?
5
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,370
We 7! Be home all weekend. Bye.
6
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,624
Howard, Jim here.
7
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,417
We still set for
racquetball on Saturday?
8
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,169
Give me a shout, buddy. Bye-bye.
9
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,963
Hi, it's Wendy.
10
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:13,216
I had this really intense
dream last night, Howie.
11
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,677
I was running my fingers
through your feathers,
12
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,054
and all of a sudden...
13
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,681
Well,
you better come over tonight
14
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,309
and I'll show you
what really happened next.
15
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,102
Ciao for now, Howie.
16
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,609
TV announcer: Hey! Ricky pate,
17
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:34,780
back with you again for lots
more dance frenzy excitement!
18
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,448
Here's couple number three,
19
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:40,160
our lovely Latin dance team
from webford falls.
20
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,663
Charles is a machinist
first class in the Navy
21
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:46,291
and his darling wife madge
is a Blackjack dealer.
22
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,548
Just a super job, kids.
23
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:54,716
Charles and madge.
24
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,968
Come on, let's hearit
for 'em, folks!
25
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,345
What's the matter, George?
26
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,098
Hmm. Jock itch again?
27
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,182
I've got just the thing.
28
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,265
Hmm.
29
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,228
Here. Why not take a shot
of new shorts blaster.
30
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,354
Huh?
31
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:11,316
It's guaranteed to wipe out feather
fungus in even the most active crotches.
32
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,520
An nou ncer: Shorts blaster.
33
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,194
In addition,
you've won a new car!
34
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,281
But that's not all!
35
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:22,536
Oh, Fred, llove you
so much it hurts.
36
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,619
Uh... he's dead!
37
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,038
Why can't society see...
38
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,417
$79.95? Forget it!
39
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,670
$49.99? No way!
40
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:36,633
I'm crazy webby,
and my prices are insane!
41
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,808
Uh-huh.
42
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,145
Who'd they interview this month?
43
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,109
Mmm-hmm.
44
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,737
My little airbrushed beauty.
45
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,159
What?
46
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,456
Oh, no! It's a quake!
47
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,460
Hey! I can't get up!
48
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,671
What is going on here?
49
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,427
Casey, did you hear something?
50
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,389
I'm such a lucky girl
51
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,142
in love
52
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,105
Oh! Whoa!
53
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,320
Hey!
54
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,613
Wow!
55
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,851
Narrator: The cosmos...
56
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:13,355
Countless worlds upon worlds...
57
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,982
Worlds without end.
58
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:20,612
In these galaxies,
every possible reality exists,
59
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,240
and what is reality
on any one world
60
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,660
is mere fantasy on all others.
61
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,914
Here, all is real
and all is illusion.
62
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,168
What is, what was,
and what will be
63
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,796
start here with the words,
64
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:41,299
"in the beginning there was,
65
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,176
"Howard the duck!"
66
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,450
Whoa!
67
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:08,952
Whoo!
68
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,444
I'm a dead duck!
69
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,821
Hey! Come on!
70
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:45,906
Oh, no!
71
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,369
Hey, bendeh
72
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,580
go on in, frankenweenie!
73
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,790
We finally found you a date!
74
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,669
What is this?
75
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,589
Stay home, city boy
76
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,216
hey, that costume don't
fool me. No kids allowed!
77
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,385
Bender: Hey, wait a minute!
That's my date!
78
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,511
I said out of the way!
79
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,476
Own sweet bed at night
80
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:18,980
No, wait!
81
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,815
Keep your mind off real life
82
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:24,110
you little creep! You get away
from my cart, you filthy degenerate!
83
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,279
So, stick to television
84
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,200
I can make it
85
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,452
here in hunger city
86
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,164
Nothing's gonna stop me
87
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,334
I know I 'ii survive
88
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,128
I can take it
89
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:45,090
here in hunger city
90
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,053
Christ, it touched me!
91
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,263
What the hell is it?
92
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,891
Iwasn't trying anything! Honest!
93
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:55,976
Step on it, will you?
94
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:02,065
So the day folds into night
95
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:08,446
You sat down in your easy chair
96
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,951
oh, there! There, there.
97
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,413
Ha! Up and away!
98
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,334
Oh, no!
99
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,423
Are you ready
for an incredible story?
100
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,009
Waste it, man! Waste it!
101
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,135
Oh, no!
102
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,679
Here in hunger city
103
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,849
nothing's gonna stop me
104
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,935
I know I 'ii survive
105
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,022
I can take it
106
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,025
here in hunger city
107
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:48,111
even though they'd eat me
108
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,405
just to stay alive
109
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,614
Hunger city!
110
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:55,702
Talk about a rotten day!
111
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,788
Hunger city!
112
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,074
Just saw your show!
Oh, great. Thanks.
113
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,267
Oh, gracious lady,
love your music! Hey!
114
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,351
Bye, now.
115
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,103
Can I have your
autograph on my shirt?
116
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,064
Oh, me, too! And my shorts!
117
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,940
Real charming.
Just go away, okay?
118
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,692
Hey! I'm talking to you,
big rock star!
119
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:29,861
Let me go, you creep!
120
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,738
Hey, don't go snot-nose on us!
121
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,239
We're your biggest fans!
122
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,033
I said, let me go!
123
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:40,872
Help, somebody, help!
124
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,041
Help!
125
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,585
Come here, snot-nose!
126
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,755
That's it.
127
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,174
No more Mr. Nice duck.
128
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,223
Let the female creature go!
129
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,102
Every duck's got his limit,
130
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:05,188
and you scum have
pushed me over the line.
131
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,273
Jimmy...
132
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,942
Do you, like, see what I see?
133
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,318
A talking duck?
134
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,528
Yeah, that's it.
135
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,030
I've been doing too much toot!
136
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,116
Shoo! Fly away! Shoo!
137
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:20,120
No one laughs
at a master of quack fu!
138
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:25,875
Jimmy, you okay?
139
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,094
Get off me!
140
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,561
You're crazy! Get out of here!
141
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,854
Come on, you!
142
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,318
You're breaking my fingers!
143
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:56,447
Now, you and baby face
are gonna beat it.
144
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,615
Right, Mr. Zits?
145
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,660
Before I get really mad.
146
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,956
Come on! Let's get out of here!
147
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,963
This is obviously no place for
an intelligent, sensitive duck.
148
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:13,882
This is unreal.
149
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:15,884
I mean, it can't be.
150
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,510
Thanks.
151
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,430
You're not really a...
152
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,182
A duck?
153
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:27,520
You know, this is beginning to
seriously undermine my self-esteem.
154
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,938
I'm sorry.
155
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,734
I guess I should thank you
for chasing those guys off.
156
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:33,818
Are you okay?
157
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,987
Yeah, sure. Terrific.
158
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,865
I just have one giant question.
159
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,325
Where am I?
160
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,285
Oh, well, uh,
161
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,637
the lights up there
are ninth street
162
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,413
and the bus stops
at the corner of Powell.
163
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,539
No, no, no, no, no.
164
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,541
I'm asking, what is this place?
165
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,418
Uh... Cleveland.
166
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,629
"Cleve land?" Uh-huh.
167
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:56,090
That's a perfect weird
name for this planet.
168
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,800
Planet? No, no. That's the city.
169
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,428
The planet's...
170
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:01,551
You don't know the planet?
171
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,224
Oh, well.
172
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,726
The planet's called earth,
173
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:07,810
I think,
174
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,146
and I'm obviously in some
sort of terrible nightmare.
175
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,441
Oh, yeah?
Your nightmare or mine?
176
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,901
Good point.
177
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,695
So, uh...
178
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,573
I guess I'd better be going.
179
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,741
Mmm.
180
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,328
Thanks again.
181
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,286
Huh? Listen...
182
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,704
You got some place to go?
183
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,790
Hey, it! Had some place to go,
184
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,501
I certainly wouldn't
be in cleve land.
185
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,899
Come on.
186
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,573
Nice place.
187
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:45,825
You pay to live here?
188
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:49,454
It's cheap. The manager
of my band found it for me.
189
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,456
I suggest you find
a new manager.
190
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,584
Hey, I'd love to, but we got this
damn contract with the sleazoid,
191
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,503
and he won't even give us
the money he owes us.
192
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,466
Come on in.
193
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,513
Uh, it's sort of
a disaster area.
194
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,724
We've been working on
some new songs, you know?
195
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,893
See, the band's
called cherry bomb.
196
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,312
And... well, we've been playing
197
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:17,815
in these grungy mong-holes,
waiting for our big break.
198
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,612
You don't have any idea what
I'm talking about, do you, Mr...
199
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:23,988
Hello?
200
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,032
Duck?
201
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,659
It's Howard, thank you.
202
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,286
Right. Howard.
203
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,330
Hi, I'm Beverly.
204
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,873
Uh, listen,
205
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,085
would you like
something to eat or drink?
206
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,587
Milk?
207
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,798
I could put it in a bowl.
208
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,051
Ugh, doh, ldont
drink out of bowls.
209
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,135
You got a beer?
210
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,804
Beer?
211
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,140
Right. Beer.
212
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,392
Right.
213
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,896
God, I can't believe this.
214
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,940
Yeah, yeah.
I'll put you in a bowl.
215
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,233
What?
216
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,485
Phew! Oh, give me a break.
217
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:06,864
What's this?
218
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,409
Oh, it's a purse.
I got it at a swap meet.
219
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,493
Cute.
220
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,412
Yeah, big brewski.
221
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,621
I'm sorry I'm so nervous.
222
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,344
It's just that
I've never been around a...
223
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:16,999
Mmm-hmm?
224
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,710
I mean, I've never even
had any pets or anything.
225
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,569
It always seemed
like such a hassle.
226
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,132
You know, feeding 'em,
cleaning up their little poo-poos.
227
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,175
I'll try to be careful.
228
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,786
No, wait.
I didn't mean that you...
229
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,262
Oh.
230
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,432
Look, why don't you
just sit down?
231
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,142
Okay. Why not?
232
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,644
Make yourself at home.
233
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,272
Make myself at home? I wish!
234
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,356
Listen.
235
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,276
Oh, no! Not again!
236
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,991
Howard, it's okay!
237
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,618
You're all right.
238
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,203
The chair started shaking!
239
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,247
It was just
a big truck going by.
240
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,586
A truck. I knew that.
241
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,797
What I don't know is
242
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,008
what the hell I'm doing here.
243
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,760
It's like a bad trip.
244
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:12,847
I mean, talk about
an identity crisis.
245
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,433
Yeah. What an awful
thing to happen.
246
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,144
Howard, I was
just kind of wondering,
247
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:21,564
does everybody on your planet
look like, uh... like you?
248
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,399
Obviously. Why?
249
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,860
Oh, no reason. Just wondered.
250
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,570
So, what do you do back home?
251
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,988
You got a job? You go to school?
252
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,907
I went to med school
for a while.
253
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,450
You went to med school?
254
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,203
Yeah. My parents
wanted me to be a doctor.
255
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,662
A plastic surgeon,
256
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,999
making big bucks doing
beakjobs, tail tucks.
257
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,542
What happened?
258
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,503
I dropped out.
259
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,174
I decided to educate myself
in the real world, on the streets,
260
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:51,552
so, I wrote songs at night and
did construction work by day.
261
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,387
Wow. That sounds great.
262
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,032
You know, I write
songs, too. What kind of...
263
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,225
Listen. It doesn't matter.
264
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,727
It was all a pipe dream.
265
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:04,357
I got so tired of everyone
saying, "grow up, Howard,"
266
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,942
I guess I finally did.
267
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,320
Last month, I got what
they call a promising job.
268
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,446
Oh, yeah? Doing what?
269
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,658
Advertising copywriter.
270
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,870
"Only
two things touch my feathers,
271
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:20,456
"oil of night fowl and him."
272
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:22,457
I wrote that.
273
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:24,794
Jeez, Howard.
274
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,965
It sort of sounds
like you sold out.
275
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:33,219
Maybe. But, sometimes,
I still get this feeling
276
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,055
there's some kind of
special destiny waiting for me.
277
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,642
Howard, that's it.
Maybe that's why you're here.
278
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,728
I mean, I believe that there
are no accidents in the universe.
279
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,492
Maybe you're here
for some greater purpose,
280
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,566
some cosi'tiic cause.
281
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,109
Are you nuts?
282
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,321
I got no intention
of being stranded here.
283
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,490
I gotta get back.
284
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,826
How is another matter.
285
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,995
Yeah. Right.
286
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,664
We gotta get some help.
287
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,916
Oh, but, Howard...
288
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,730
Oh, jeez.
289
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,371
Howard!
290
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,151
What am I gonna do with you,
291
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,612
ducky?
292
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,182
Ah! This is humiliating.
293
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:28,185
I just don't want people
freaking out all over the place.
294
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,311
What about me?
295
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:32,273
I'm gonna have to see a psychiatrist
every day for the rest of my life.
296
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,774
Relax! We're almost there.
297
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:34,859
Oh, goodie.
298
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,569
Phil's a scientist. He can help.
299
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,072
Oh! Ow!
300
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,490
Howard, this isn't working!
301
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,468
Howard: Tell me about it!
Can I give you a hand with that?
302
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,411
No. We're doing...
What's in the bag?
303
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,580
I'm doing fine,
thank you very much.
304
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,207
Let me out of here. Ouch.
305
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,309
Excuse me,
could I help you with that?
306
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,710
Yes! No!
307
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,838
Why are we stopping?
308
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,215
Oh, hi, Beverly.
309
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,300
We had an appointment.
310
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,511
Beverly: We got here
as fast as we could.
311
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:15,691
God. Listen, everybody.
This is it.
312
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,860
I've just seen it.
It's in there.
313
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,904
It's a... it's a...
314
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,698
It's nothing!
315
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,827
It's nothing! Never mind!
316
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,079
Carry on, Dr. Chapin.
317
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,883
This is amazing.
318
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,552
Man's oldest fantasy...
319
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,431
Across a sea of stars...
320
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:52,728
Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird!
321
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,396
It's a plane!
322
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,149
No! It's a duck!
323
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,902
Phil, you've got to help us.
324
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,570
What are we gonna do?
325
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,906
Nice ducky.
326
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:08,410
Me Phil. You Howard.
327
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,246
We be friends.
328
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,540
Ugh.
329
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:18,128
Me Phil.
You Howard. We can be friends.
330
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:21,215
Undoubtedly one of earth's
greatest minds here.
331
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,051
Hey, Phil, don't talk
to him like that.
332
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,237
He's just as smart as you are.
333
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,887
Oh! Now, I'm really depressed.
334
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,889
Highly intelligent,
perhaps even...
335
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:30,182
Wait, that's it.
336
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:32,434
We're about to see if
the subject has any abilities
337
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,578
we don't have here
on earth, any...
338
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:34,645
What?
339
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:35,729
Shall we say...
340
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:39,149
Super powers.
341
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,485
Howard!
342
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:44,196
Can you bend this?
343
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,449
What are you? Crazy?
344
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:48,784
Howard...
345
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:54,748
Can you burn a hole through
this with some kind of eye laser?
346
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:58,377
Can I bite your nose off
with my super bill?
347
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,045
Howard, quit holding out!
348
00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,590
I want you to concentrate
and read my mind!
349
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,801
Right. You're thinking...
350
00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,512
"They know I'm a phony.
351
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:09,972
"They know I'm a yo-yo."
352
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:13,475
Tell me if I'm warm
on any of these, Phil.
353
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,394
I want you to look
into the future
354
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:17,146
and tell me what you see!
355
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,773
I see myself
walking out that door.
356
00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:21,734
Beverly: Yeah! Me, too!
357
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,569
No, no, no! Wait, wait!
You can't leave!
358
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:24,904
Oh, yeah? Why not?
359
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,739
Because there are
papers to be written,
360
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,115
there's research to be done,
361
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,743
there's symposiums
to give, lecture tours.
362
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:33,537
Howard, we are on our way
to the science hall of fame.
363
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,873
Look out, Darwin!
Look out, Einstein!
364
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:37,499
Heho, nobelpnze!
365
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,585
We are not here to make
you famous, blumburtt.
366
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:42,397
Beverly, listen, I never badmouth
others in the scientific fraternity,
367
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,673
but you bring an alien
in a bag to most guys,
368
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:47,259
and whammo! They're talking,
"let's cut him into little pieces
369
00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:49,094
"and see what color
his organs are!"
370
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:51,430
I just want to know,
a, what I'm doing here,
371
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:53,432
and b, how I'm gonna get back.
372
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,851
Piece of cake.
A, I'm just the guy to help,
373
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:59,104
and that's because
b, I've already got a theory.
374
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,356
What theory?
375
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:04,109
Well, this is, of course,
the evolutionary ladder,
376
00:24:04,193 --> 00:24:07,988
showing how man progressed
from monkey to...
377
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:09,448
Me, for instance.
378
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:11,367
You consider that progress?
379
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,744
Jeez, you're all hairless apes?
380
00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:15,496
That's really disgusting.
381
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:18,207
Now, I want you both to imagine,
382
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:21,627
somewhere in the universe
is Howard's world.
383
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,963
Picture it in your mind,
384
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:26,298
a world almost
exactly like ours,
385
00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:30,010
except that the progenitor
of the dominant species
386
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:34,390
was not a monkey, but a duck!
387
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,808
Some theory.
388
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,768
Every school duck
knows this stuff.
389
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,937
And as the duck
390
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:42,481
climbed up
the evolutionary ladder,
391
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,692
he said adios to his wings.
392
00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:46,944
His mental capacity increases.
393
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:50,155
He begins to develop... beveny?
394
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,239
Shopping malls?
395
00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:53,993
No, tribes.
396
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:55,536
Cro-magnon duck,
397
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:58,831
who ultimately evolves into
398
00:24:58,914 --> 00:24:59,999
Howard.
399
00:25:00,082 --> 00:25:01,500
Hey, blumburtt! Blumburtt!
400
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:02,626
Come on.
401
00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:04,336
Dr. Chapin: What the hell
are you doing?
402
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:06,422
Don't move! Don't breathe!
403
00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:08,966
Did you finish cleaning
up the specimen lab?
404
00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:10,801
Um, almost finished.
405
00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:13,012
Well, get down to the
marine life exhibit with a mop.
406
00:25:13,095 --> 00:25:15,556
Some kid upchucked
all over the fern fossils.
407
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:17,224
Right. Good as done, Dr. Chapin.
408
00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:20,185
Howard: So, philsie...
409
00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:22,938
You a scientist or a janitor?
410
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,732
Uh, I am a lab assistant.
411
00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:26,108
That's terrific. Just perfect...
412
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:27,192
Yeah, I'm out of here.
413
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:28,420
Look, it's just a temporary job
414
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:30,237
until I finish school
and get my own museum.
415
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,114
Yeah. Stuffed,
you'd make a great exhibit.
416
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:33,198
Howard!
417
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:34,908
Beverly: Howard, wait!
418
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:38,495
Ah-ha! Typical hairless ape.
419
00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:40,473
Howard, now, come on.
Don't flutter off in a huff.
420
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:41,933
Beverly, listen, I've got
some important matters...
421
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:42,976
Dr. Chapin: Blumburtt,
did you hear me?
422
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,144
To clean up here,
but I'll call you tonight.
423
00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:45,228
Dr. Chapin: I want
you back in here, now.
424
00:25:45,252 --> 00:25:47,838
I'll figure out a way
to help Howard, I swear.
425
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:49,401
Just don't show him
to anybody else...
426
00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:51,300
Yeah, they look hungry.
Get 'em a banana.
427
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:52,593
Hide him!
428
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:53,969
Take him to a movie!
429
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:56,055
Look, I didn't know
where else to go for help.
430
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:57,240
Dr. Chapin: Inside, blumburtt!
431
00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:58,724
Coming! Coming!
432
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,309
Howard, why are you
so pissed off?
433
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,935
Why? Listen.
434
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:05,272
If you got blasted millions
of miles through space,
435
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:06,648
ended up on another planet
436
00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,068
and were given
an IQ test by a janitor,
437
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,528
you'd be a little
pissed off, too.
438
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:13,673
Look, maybe you are trapped
in a world you never made,
439
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,866
but I got problems of my own.
440
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,077
You know, my whole
career is falling apart.
441
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,120
Your career? What about my life?
442
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:23,248
I'm stranded here, shipwrecked.
443
00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:25,292
Look at this wonderful exhibit!
444
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:26,376
You see what I mean?
445
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:28,253
I'm a freak, an outcast.
446
00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:30,255
It's so lifelike and realistic.
447
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:31,340
Bugger off!
448
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:32,966
Excuse me?
449
00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:34,510
I said beat it!
450
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:38,222
Mutants.
451
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,724
You, too. Leave me alone.
452
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:42,935
What?
453
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:46,939
I don't need any more of
your sympathy, your charity...
454
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,526
Okay. Okay, fine.
455
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,236
I mean, I just
found something...
456
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,403
Uh-uh?
457
00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:56,532
I mean somebody in a pretty weird
predicament, and I was trying to help.
458
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:57,950
Mmm-hmm.
459
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,035
If that's the way you want it,
460
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,162
then so long, ducky.
461
00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,791
Don't shed any tears
over me, toots!
462
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:07,876
You can wallow in
your own self-pity!
463
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:08,961
Right!
464
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,839
Well, who needs you?
I don't need anybody.
465
00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:13,340
Yeah, right.
466
00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:15,801
Yeah.
467
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:19,263
Oh, no!
468
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:23,392
Damn it, I can't sit here
on my tail feathers
469
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,435
feeling sorry for myself.
470
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,938
I've got to think
about practical matters.
471
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:29,606
Food, shenef_
472
00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:31,733
Ajob!
473
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:44,496
Now, you do know
why you were sent to me?
474
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,499
My continuing
streak of bad luck?
475
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,420
You've been sent to me
because I'm famous
476
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:54,673
for finding jobs
for little slackers like you.
477
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:55,757
That's right.
478
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:58,051
They send me
all the psycho cases,
479
00:27:58,135 --> 00:27:59,511
all the misfits,
480
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:01,847
all the phonies and the fakers
481
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,516
who think that, by traipsing
in here looking outlandish,
482
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,852
they're not gonna
be able to find work!
483
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:08,645
It's my fault I gotta shoplift
484
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,689
at the little tykes
section of goodwill?
485
00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,774
I'm not talking
about your clothes!
486
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:14,902
I'm talking about yourface! Hey.
487
00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:17,613
You think that,
by looking controversial,
488
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:20,032
you're never gonna find a job
489
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:22,326
and just go on
collecting unemployment
490
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,620
and living happy
on the public dough.
491
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,706
Well, dude, you got
another thing coming,
492
00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:30,375
'cause coramae always
places her interviewee!
493
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,546
I'm gonna find your ass a job.
494
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:37,716
That'll wipe that snarl
right off your face,
495
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:38,884
little...
496
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,552
Whatever you is.
497
00:28:40,636 --> 00:28:42,638
Hmm. In fact,
498
00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:45,849
I think I gotjust
the position for you.
499
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:48,852
Hmm.
500
00:28:52,481 --> 00:28:53,732
I got a feeling
501
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:57,236
you gonna take to this job
like a duck to water.
502
00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:08,914
Towels! Lotions!
503
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,291
Antibiotics?
504
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,677
Hmm, must be mating season.
505
00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,141
Creepy little dude.
506
00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:31,270
Hey! Shorty!
507
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:36,608
It's Howard, thank you,
and I'm taking a break.
508
00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,611
Oh! Pardon me, your lowness,
509
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:44,574
but we seem to have a
plugged-up airjet in numberfive.
510
00:29:44,658 --> 00:29:45,659
And?
511
00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:46,910
And?
512
00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:51,915
And since you are supposed to
be the water expert I asked for,
513
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:54,209
you are going to fix it!
514
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:56,712
Oh, no.
515
00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:57,855
Howard: No, no, no! Wait, wait!
516
00:29:57,879 --> 00:29:59,631
I got a better idea! Wait! Wait!
517
00:29:59,715 --> 00:30:01,216
I can't swim!
518
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,093
Oops! Guess I slipped!
519
00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:15,480
Don't mind me!
520
00:30:20,861 --> 00:30:23,864
I need that creepy little dude
in here to clean this place up!
521
00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:25,307
How am I supposed
to run a class...
522
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:29,077
Guess I slipped.
523
00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:31,246
Just came by to tell you,
524
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,791
I quit! Huh!
525
00:31:14,122 --> 00:31:16,249
Howard: Excuse me!
Getting off! My stop!
526
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:18,960
Hi, there. How are you?
527
00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:20,087
Good to see you.
528
00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:21,397
Man: Hey, where you going, pal?
529
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:23,215
Yeah, same to you.
530
00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:25,884
Urban jungle. Jeez!
531
00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:29,388
Man 1: What is that?
Man 2: That's a duck!
532
00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:31,473
What is that thing?
That's a duck, man!
533
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,759
TV news reporter:
Forecasting a weekend of fair weather
534
00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:37,896
for you duck hunters and
for our lucky field reporter,
535
00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:39,231
Steve kanelli.
536
00:31:39,314 --> 00:31:41,733
Well, Bob, it's time
to dust off those decoys
537
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:45,195
and practice that squawking because duck
hunting season has officially opened...
538
00:31:45,278 --> 00:31:46,278
Duck hunting?
539
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:49,634
And the wildlife commission has actually
doubled the limit of ducks that can be shot.
540
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:50,659
Shot?
541
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,782
Reactions from local hunters
have been enthusiastic.
542
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:58,208
Man: The duck
has come to america with duck-a-roni.
543
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,501
Oh, no!
544
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:03,088
But if every hunter can blast
15 of those... from the sky...
545
00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:08,093
Hey, buddy, what's the rush?
546
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:30,675
Beverly: I don't know why
547
00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:33,952
you're not talking to me
548
00:32:34,035 --> 00:32:36,329
I don't know what went wrong
549
00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:42,794
two people who had
so much together
550
00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,922
really ought to get along
551
00:32:46,006 --> 00:32:47,215
yeah
552
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:52,304
something started
to change inside of you
553
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,723
then right out of the blue
554
00:32:57,017 --> 00:33:00,395
two friends
with such a lot to give
555
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,023
I don't know where you are
556
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:05,025
what you're going through
557
00:33:06,026 --> 00:33:08,945
what are we trying to prove?
558
00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:12,115
'Cause when this world's too big
559
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:14,784
to take on your shoulders
560
00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:17,746
feels like love is in vain
561
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:22,834
you could break down
in my arms, babe
562
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:26,379
but it really hurts
when you turn away
563
00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:31,676
and I can take
the look you give me
564
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,094
believe me
565
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:36,097
'cause I know you are in pain
566
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:40,810
and I can take
the names you call me
567
00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:44,814
but I can't stand
when you turn away
568
00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:47,275
don't turn away
569
00:33:48,568 --> 00:33:50,862
I can feel you all around me
570
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:53,240
this is way too depressing.
571
00:33:56,618 --> 00:33:58,662
Okay. Give me a beat!
572
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:02,123
One, two, three, four!
573
00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:06,044
Man: Yeah!
574
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:09,673
Honey! I love you! I love you!
575
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,109
Yeah, right here.
Beverly, I'm yours...
576
00:34:12,133 --> 00:34:13,468
After the show. All right.
577
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:19,849
Here's the money for the girl.
578
00:34:20,642 --> 00:34:22,227
I'll make sure they get it!
579
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:25,021
Yeah, hibet when?
580
00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:28,900
When? When bodacious
Beverly stops holding out on me.
581
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:30,211
Gonna invite her
up to my place tonight
582
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:32,529
for a little
career manipulation.
583
00:34:35,198 --> 00:34:38,451
I guess you must be
the girls' manager.
584
00:34:38,535 --> 00:34:40,620
And if you are,
585
00:34:40,704 --> 00:34:44,416
I don't like the way
you're talking about Beverly.
586
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:47,085
And I want the girls' money!
587
00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:49,629
Ritchie, what is that?
588
00:34:49,713 --> 00:34:53,425
Look, ginger, iwarned you when
you got into rock management
589
00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:55,677
you'd be dealing with
the entertainment types.
590
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,513
You know, different
strokes and all that.
591
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,849
Hey, hey, different
lifestyles is one thing,
592
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,226
different life forms is another.
593
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:13,194
I'm not in a real good
mood tonight, ginger.
594
00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:14,863
I want the girls' money.
595
00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:19,534
Now, is this gonna be easy,
596
00:35:21,328 --> 00:35:24,831
or is this gonna be trouble?
597
00:35:24,914 --> 00:35:27,626
Hey, ritchie,
tell it to go away.
598
00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:29,794
I'm not up on all
my barnyard languages.
599
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:35,759
Okay, duck, out! You're gone!
You're history, you little wise-quacker!
600
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:37,135
Arrivederci, duck!
601
00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:39,137
Oh! Oh, no!
602
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:42,682
Mallard in the side pocket!
603
00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:44,392
Adios, quack man!
604
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:46,311
Very nicely done.
605
00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:51,441
Hey, what's going on
out there now?
606
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:08,541
All right. Now it's my turn.
607
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:12,337
Hey, come on, duck,
take your best shot!
608
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,507
You got it!
609
00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:17,175
Ritchie! Get up!
610
00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:27,560
Duck kabob!
611
00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:41,241
Oh. No earring
in your other ear?
612
00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:43,410
I'll just make the hole myself.
613
00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:45,704
No, please, man!
Don't, man, please don't!
614
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:46,788
The money!
615
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:49,791
Sure! Sure, here! Here, take the
money! Take it, it's yours! Take it!
616
00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:52,961
And you're no longer
their manager.
617
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,296
Listen, okay, everybody
in here is a witness.
618
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:57,882
I am letting the girls
out of their contract, okay?
619
00:36:57,966 --> 00:37:00,218
Tell your goons to stay
back! I'm warning you.
620
00:37:00,301 --> 00:37:01,301
Stay back, ritchie!
621
00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:03,638
I bite your face,
you're a dead man, ginger!
622
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,032
What are you talking about?
623
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:07,642
Space rabies!
624
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,227
Ritchie, is that a real disease?
625
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:12,397
I don't know, ginger. I heard
something about that on the news.
626
00:37:12,856 --> 00:37:15,275
That's right, space rabies!
627
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:19,529
One bite, and it's agonizing
death in 15 seconds!
628
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,239
Bite! Bite! Bite!
629
00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:29,330
Real music lovers, huh?
630
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:33,042
Kc: What a dive!
631
00:37:34,836 --> 00:37:37,213
Man, those guys
are a bunch of fools!
632
00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:38,548
Obviously the wrong crowd.
633
00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:40,317
I'm running out of sticks
to throw at people.
634
00:37:40,341 --> 00:37:41,342
This sucks.
635
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:43,510
Now what?
636
00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:44,596
Tell 'em to go away.
637
00:37:49,058 --> 00:37:50,685
Down here, do!!!
638
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:52,812
Is Beverly in?
639
00:37:52,896 --> 00:37:55,857
Wow! Jeez! You must be...
640
00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:59,319
Kc! Meet Howard.
641
00:37:59,402 --> 00:38:00,403
Wow!
642
00:38:00,487 --> 00:38:01,654
Hi, Howie.
643
00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:03,823
We've heard so much about you.
644
00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:05,992
Of course, we didn't believe it.
645
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:08,119
Yo! How weird.
646
00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:11,372
Hiya, ducky.
647
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:12,582
Hi, toots.
648
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,375
Beverly: How's the world
been treating you?
649
00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:17,295
Guess.
650
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:20,089
I was worried about you.
I missed you.
651
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:24,969
Well, sex appeal. Some guys
got it and some guys don't.
652
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:26,471
Howard!
653
00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:29,724
Listen, I'm sorry we fought.
654
00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:32,185
You're the only friend
I've got here.
655
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,441
Hi! Sorry I missed the show.
656
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:39,925
I came to watch you
undress, though,
657
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,529
and brought a pizza.
658
00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:44,239
Howard!
659
00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:49,244
Vey.
660
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:52,664
Thank god you're back! I've been
working on the mystery of your arrival!
661
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,249
What's he doing here?
662
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:56,584
Well, he and ronette have
sort of got back together.
663
00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,921
I don't know who's more
desperate for dates, you or me.
664
00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:01,422
Hmm.
665
00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:04,175
Anyway, Howard, I was
talking to some astrolophysicists.
666
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,928
You know, the guys that discovered
that aztecs came from Mars.
667
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:08,864
Well, these guys concluded
that you arrived here
668
00:39:08,888 --> 00:39:10,640
in a spacecraft
millions of years ago
669
00:39:10,723 --> 00:39:12,225
and must have remained
frozen in ice!
670
00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:13,434
Go away!
671
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:15,270
Ronette, could you
shut this boy up?
672
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,063
Howard... what's a pizza?
673
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:18,731
It's a circular
Italian food object.
674
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:20,817
Howard, I didn't buy
that theory either,
675
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:24,362
so I did some research and I
discovered an ancient race of large ducks
676
00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:26,823
worshipped by primitive Samoans.
677
00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:28,825
Leave me alone!
678
00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:32,704
I was barking up the
wrong tree, I knew that,
679
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:36,624
but tonight, I am getting concrete
evidence about how you got here.
680
00:39:36,791 --> 00:39:38,334
Wait a minute.
681
00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:40,712
Oh, I gotta make a call.
682
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:42,797
Phil! No sex now. I'm working.
683
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,507
Got a place to stay tonight?
684
00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:45,800
Mmm-mmm.
685
00:39:50,471 --> 00:39:52,891
Oh, yeah,
by the way, I forgot...
686
00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:55,184
I had a little talk
with your manager, ginger.
687
00:39:55,268 --> 00:39:57,186
You talked to that slime?
What for?
688
00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:59,188
I got your money from him.
689
00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:01,482
Ducky, I can't believe this!
690
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:03,401
I also got him to agree
691
00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:05,945
that it was time for him
to step aside as your manager.
692
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:08,031
What? You got rid of ginger?
693
00:40:08,114 --> 00:40:09,574
Mr. Duck, you're wonderful!
694
00:40:10,783 --> 00:40:12,619
This is it! I'm out of here!
695
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:13,703
Good!
696
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:16,205
Howard! I'm about to meet
secretly with my colleague,
697
00:40:16,289 --> 00:40:18,124
and he's bringing the feather.
698
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:20,084
What feather?
What are you talking...
699
00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,545
If it matches, it'll be the
answer to all your problems.
700
00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:25,006
Matches? No, you
don't! Stay away from me!
701
00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:26,633
Let me through!
Phil, leave him alone.
702
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,677
Philip, geta grip!
703
00:40:29,761 --> 00:40:32,347
I'm about to unravel
the mystery of your arrival!
704
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:34,474
Come back here,
you hairless ape!
705
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:35,826
You'll have time
to thank me later.
706
00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:37,143
Get out of here, geek!
707
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,603
We're gonna be famous!
708
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:40,146
Are you okay?
709
00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:42,440
Oh, it's just my pride.
710
00:40:42,523 --> 00:40:44,317
We'll go home, ducky.
711
00:41:01,167 --> 00:41:02,251
Hmm.
712
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,015
Yeah.
713
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:17,976
Uh-huh!
714
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:28,403
Yeah!
715
00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:32,782
All right!
716
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:43,835
A little tune I never finished.
717
00:41:43,918 --> 00:41:45,670
You play pretty good.
718
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:47,880
I had a group in high school,
719
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:49,124
Howard and the heartbreakers.
720
00:41:49,549 --> 00:41:52,760
Oh, heavy, Howard. Very heavy.
721
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:55,138
Maybe you should be our manager.
722
00:41:56,264 --> 00:41:57,849
Wait a second...
723
00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:02,103
Maybe you're just the kind
of bizarro influence we need.
724
00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:04,897
Forget it. No more jobs here.
725
00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:07,358
Uh-uh. I think you'd
be a great manager.
726
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,110
I'm gonna suggest
it to the girls.
727
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,862
I've given up
trying to assimilate.
728
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:13,906
Mmm-mmm. I've got to
get back to my own kind.
729
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:17,035
Although...
730
00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:20,204
I have developed
a greater appreciation
731
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:22,832
for the female version
of the human anatomy.
732
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,835
Howard, you really
are the worst!
733
00:42:27,962 --> 00:42:29,714
Come on, let's watch
David letterman.
734
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,049
Hmm.
735
00:42:31,257 --> 00:42:32,258
Come on.
736
00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:34,552
Okey-dokey.
737
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:37,180
You know, I got a feeling
my life's really gonna change
738
00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:39,223
since you fell into it, ducky.
739
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:42,226
Yeah, well, I'm glad
somebody's happy.
740
00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:44,070
If I could just get
my career back on course,
741
00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:46,898
I'd only have the old
standard worry left.
742
00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:47,982
What's that?
743
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:51,027
Just can't seem
to find the right man.
744
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:53,696
Maybe it's not a man
you should be looking for.
745
00:42:56,407 --> 00:43:00,328
You think I might find happiness
in the animal kingdom, ducky?
746
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:03,706
Like they say,
doll, love's strange.
747
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:05,625
We could always give it a try.
748
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:13,841
Okay.
749
00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,594
Let's go for it, Mr. Macho.
750
00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:20,264
What do you mean, okay?
It was a joke!
751
00:43:20,348 --> 00:43:21,557
Mmm-hmm.
752
00:43:22,350 --> 00:43:23,351
Listen...
753
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,603
I'm pretty tired.
754
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:28,940
It's just that you're so
incredibly soft and cuddly.
755
00:43:29,023 --> 00:43:31,442
Bev, let's be realistic.
756
00:43:31,526 --> 00:43:34,112
I mean, my apartment's
zillions of miles from here.
757
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:37,740
You're 3 feet taller than I am.
758
00:43:37,824 --> 00:43:41,119
I just can't resist
your intense animal magnetism.
759
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:45,373
Vvhoops!
760
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:47,792
Anyway, where will it all lead?
761
00:43:47,875 --> 00:43:50,545
Marriage? Kids?
A house in the suburbs?
762
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,674
Let's just face it, it's fate.
763
00:43:54,757 --> 00:43:56,259
No! It's not!
764
00:43:58,094 --> 00:43:59,470
I've got a headache.
765
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:01,430
And I got the aspirin.
766
00:44:02,807 --> 00:44:04,016
Be gentle.
767
00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:07,562
Just one good-night kiss,
sweet ducky?
768
00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:11,899
Come on, Howard,
I was just kidding.
769
00:44:13,442 --> 00:44:14,652
Night.
770
00:44:31,586 --> 00:44:32,753
My god!
771
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,798
This relationship, it defies
all the laws of nature.
772
00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:37,341
No, it doesn't.
773
00:44:37,425 --> 00:44:38,843
This is not what you think.
774
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:40,928
We're just very good friends.
775
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:43,597
Phil!
776
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:45,099
Oh, I'm sorry.
The door was open.
777
00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:46,392
Who the hell are they?
778
00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:50,688
This is my friend Carter,
and this is Dr. Walter jenning,
779
00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:53,107
and I told 'em
all about you, Howard.
780
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,859
You were obviously right.
781
00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:56,944
Show him the evidence.
782
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,279
What evidence?
783
00:44:58,362 --> 00:45:01,616
We tested them, and they're
both from the same fowl.
784
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,034
You, Howard.
785
00:45:04,118 --> 00:45:05,620
My feathers?
786
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,955
Howard! Howard,
don't go berserk! No!
787
00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:10,541
On my planet, we
never say die, we say kill!
788
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,169
Now, wait a minute.
Listen to me, small visitor.
789
00:45:15,296 --> 00:45:17,381
I can explain how you got here.
790
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:23,387
Carter: Dr. Jenning is in charge of
the astrophysics lab at dynatechnics.
791
00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:24,831
Now, on the night
of September 8...
792
00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:26,158
That's the night
that Howard landed.
793
00:45:26,182 --> 00:45:28,226
Yes, now, on that night,
we were initiating
794
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:31,062
our first full-scale test
of the laser spectroscope.
795
00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:32,813
This was shot
during the experiment.
796
00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:35,816
It was just a routine
procedure meant to measure
797
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,778
the density of the gases
that surround Alpha centauri.
798
00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:41,072
However, partway
through the experiment,
799
00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:46,786
there was a deviation and we lost
control of the laser spectroscope.
800
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:49,038
What do you mean, lost control?
801
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:54,335
Some unknown force was redirecting
the laser beam from its original target
802
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,420
so that it hit
your planet instead.
803
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:59,548
Hit my planet? How
about hit my living room?
804
00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,217
Talk about an
invasion of privacy.
805
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:03,552
When the beam hit, you
must have been caughtup
806
00:46:03,636 --> 00:46:05,596
in a massive energy inversion
807
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,266
which literally
dragged you through space
808
00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:10,851
back to the power source
here on earth.
809
00:46:10,935 --> 00:46:12,186
Radical.
810
00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:16,232
Jenning: In the lab that
night, we saw a single feather fall.
811
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:25,116
We weren't aware that
the rest of you, Howard,
812
00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:28,202
hadlandedinthatahey
just 2 miles away.
813
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:29,453
Any questions?
814
00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:31,622
Yeah. Where are my pants?
815
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,142
Howard, where are you going?
816
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:35,793
To this lab of theirs. What for?
817
00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:38,587
To hop back on board
that laser thing.
818
00:46:38,671 --> 00:46:42,174
Then all you have to do is hit the
reverse lever to send me back home, right?
819
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:45,094
Well, we hadn't considered
reversing the process.
820
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:46,613
I don't think it's
feasible. Me either.
821
00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:48,764
Now, wait a minute.
If we could generate
822
00:46:48,848 --> 00:46:50,391
a strong enough hypercharge...
823
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:51,517
You can't do that.
824
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,312
You mean the reflex mode
might provoke a total reversal.
825
00:46:54,395 --> 00:46:56,147
It just might be possible.
It won't work.
826
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:57,481
Yeah. Sir...
827
00:46:57,565 --> 00:46:58,733
Don't listen to them, Howard.
828
00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:01,360
I have got you booked
on A.M. Cleveland.
829
00:47:01,444 --> 00:47:03,821
We can get the cover
of science digest...
830
00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:04,905
Butt out, four-eyes.
831
00:47:04,989 --> 00:47:06,032
Beverly: Yeah.
832
00:47:06,115 --> 00:47:08,534
Look, you guys, could
you really send him back?
833
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,287
Jenning: If we did, we
could establish a continuing link
834
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:12,997
between our planets,
835
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,559
but he would have to leave tonight,
while the alignment still exists.
836
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:16,792
We can't afford to wait.
837
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,337
You mean I'm finally
gonna breeze this flytrap?
838
00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:20,963
Ducky, this is what you wanted.
839
00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:22,173
You're going home.
840
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:23,507
Yeah. Jenning: Right.
841
00:47:23,591 --> 00:47:26,510
Carter, call Larry. Have him
set up the initiation procedure.
842
00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:27,946
Tell him I'll meet him
at the lab right away.
843
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:29,805
You and blumburtt
can bring Howard.
844
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:33,726
You are about to make history
a second time, my little friend.
845
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:36,270
Thanks. But once was plenty.
846
00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:38,356
Get to it. Right.
847
00:47:38,439 --> 00:47:41,984
You know, Howard, we could
hold out for a pbs special...
848
00:47:42,068 --> 00:47:43,152
Phil.
849
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:46,614
Howard: Bev, get dressed.
Aren't you gonna see me off?
850
00:47:46,697 --> 00:47:50,618
Sure, I am. I just hope they
let you take a carry-on bag.
851
00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:53,913
Look, I'm gonna put in these
polaroids that we took at the club.
852
00:47:53,996 --> 00:47:55,373
Thanks.
853
00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:56,874
These'll help.
854
00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:59,627
The guys back home
are never gonna believe me.
855
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:02,797
What's this in my bed?
856
00:48:04,298 --> 00:48:05,925
Souvenirs?
857
00:48:07,093 --> 00:48:09,387
I'm gonna miss you a lot, ducky.
858
00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:12,973
Bev, I don't belong here.
859
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:14,975
You know I've gotta go.
860
00:48:16,936 --> 00:48:18,187
Yeah.
861
00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:31,742
Lilly had the dolphins,
862
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:32,827
cousteau, the whales,
863
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:35,037
goodall, gorillas.
864
00:48:35,663 --> 00:48:37,123
I had a duck.
865
00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:40,000
I could have been a contender.
866
00:48:44,046 --> 00:48:45,548
Bev...
867
00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:49,009
I'm not a real sentimental guy.
868
00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:53,597
No. I bet you were born from
a very hardboiled egg, ducky.
869
00:48:53,681 --> 00:48:55,015
Yeah.
870
00:48:55,099 --> 00:48:57,852
But I do keep wondering...
871
00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:02,773
Of all the alleys in the world I
could have fallen into that night,
872
00:49:02,857 --> 00:49:04,984
why did it have to be yours?
873
00:49:05,734 --> 00:49:07,862
Because, right now,
874
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,447
you're the one and only thing
875
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:12,366
that's making it very
hard for me to leave.
876
00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:28,466
There's no guard.
877
00:49:28,549 --> 00:49:29,884
Oh. We should
go back, then, huh?
878
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:31,385
Phil... what?
879
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:32,636
Drive.
880
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:51,989
What are these alarms?
881
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,550
Something's happened.
What's happened?
882
00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:54,742
I don't know.
883
00:49:54,825 --> 00:49:57,119
That is really cool. Right.
884
00:49:57,203 --> 00:49:59,121
Hold it. Security.
885
00:50:01,123 --> 00:50:03,417
My eyes! My eyes!
886
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:07,004
It exploded again!
It was terrible!
887
00:50:07,087 --> 00:50:10,841
We have no right to
tamper with the universe!
888
00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:15,763
This does not bode well.
889
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:18,098
Hmm.
890
00:50:20,309 --> 00:50:21,685
Is he okay?
891
00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:26,524
Whoa! Beverly: Holy Toledo!
892
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,150
Man 1: Put it here! Come on!
893
00:50:28,234 --> 00:50:31,612
Get out of the way! It's
still hot! Get over here!
894
00:50:32,279 --> 00:50:33,864
Shut down the laser system!
895
00:50:33,948 --> 00:50:36,033
Drop the emergency shield!
896
00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:37,785
Get that platform stabilized!
897
00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,745
Man 2: Where's jenning?
898
00:50:47,628 --> 00:50:50,005
Woman: You get over here now!
Come on, come on!
899
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:51,529
Beverly: Howard,
where are you going?
900
00:50:51,924 --> 00:50:53,551
Larry, where's Dr. Jenning?
901
00:50:53,634 --> 00:50:55,219
Carter, come here,
let me show you this.
902
00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:57,062
He was pre-activating
the laser spectroscope.
903
00:50:57,096 --> 00:50:58,097
Uh-huh.
904
00:50:58,180 --> 00:51:00,599
We lost control again and
there was another explosion,
905
00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:03,227
and jenning caught the full
force of the blast this time.
906
00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:04,895
Is he all right? Where is he?
907
00:51:04,979 --> 00:51:07,690
You see, the bottom of the
spectroscope blew into the wall,
908
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,817
and jenning just...
Just disappeared.
909
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:14,238
Excuse me, but is this
gonna delay my takeoff?
910
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:16,073
Is that... is that it?
911
00:51:17,366 --> 00:51:18,659
That's unbelievable!
912
00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:22,162
Yeah. We brought Howard
down the first time, but what if...
913
00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:25,624
Oh, my god, Larry, what ifwe've
brought down something else this time?
914
00:51:29,003 --> 00:51:30,855
We're rounding up all the
scientists for you in the lab, sir,
915
00:51:30,879 --> 00:51:34,174
but I think you'd better take
a look at this other thing first.
916
00:51:34,258 --> 00:51:36,760
A thing, hanson?
917
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:39,054
Is that the kind of precise
descriptive techniques
918
00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:41,890
they're teaching rookies
nowadays? A thing?
919
00:51:41,974 --> 00:51:44,476
I want to know what
they're doing with Howard.
920
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,395
Excuse me,
are you in charge here?
921
00:51:46,478 --> 00:51:47,479
Yeah, why?
922
00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:49,815
Well, I want to know why
they're harassing Howard.
923
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:50,899
Who's Howard?
924
00:51:50,983 --> 00:51:52,127
He had nothing to do with it.
925
00:51:52,151 --> 00:51:54,361
Howard is just
an innocent, um...
926
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:55,446
Thing?
927
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:56,780
No. Duck.
928
00:51:57,990 --> 00:52:00,117
Just an innocent duck?
929
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,137
And they wonder why I'm
asking for early retirement.
930
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:03,161
You deal with this.
931
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:04,997
Wait a second. You can't...
932
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,291
Kirby. You got a thing in here?
933
00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:09,126
Uh, thing. Mmm-hmm.
934
00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:14,089
I've had enough.
I want to see my lawyer.
935
00:52:16,050 --> 00:52:18,636
I've got rights, you know.
I'm suing.
936
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:19,720
Yeah.
937
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:22,824
God damn it, hanson, get in here
938
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:24,808
and get this frigging
duck suit off this nut. Sir.
939
00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:26,810
Uh-oh.
940
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:27,912
All right, get a hold of him.
941
00:52:27,936 --> 00:52:30,397
Hey! Hey, let me go,
you big gorillas!
942
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,399
Howard: On my planet,
we never say die,
943
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:34,568
we say... not my shorts!
944
00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:35,944
Find that damn zipper!
945
00:52:36,737 --> 00:52:38,989
You perverts!
946
00:52:39,073 --> 00:52:40,240
Uh, lieutenant...
947
00:52:40,324 --> 00:52:41,742
Lieutenant, there's no zipper!
948
00:52:41,825 --> 00:52:43,744
There's no buttons,
no velcro, sir.
949
00:52:43,827 --> 00:52:46,747
I think the suspect's
duckness is, like, inborn, sir.
950
00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:48,332
I think he's for real.
951
00:52:48,415 --> 00:52:51,126
Howard: Ifyour goons
are finished... let go!
952
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:52,795
Ow, ow!
953
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:56,924
I'd like a word with those
so-called scientists out there.
954
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,008
Oh, yeah? What about?
955
00:52:58,092 --> 00:53:01,637
About when they can rev up that
machine and send me back home.
956
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:04,473
Listen, Howard, I'm gonna go
talk to the scientists out there.
957
00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:06,850
You are gonna go play
sitting duck in a jail cell.
958
00:53:06,934 --> 00:53:08,852
Lieutenant,
what's the charge, sir?
959
00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:10,437
Ihegalahen.
960
00:53:11,730 --> 00:53:12,940
Come on!
961
00:53:13,023 --> 00:53:14,191
I'll get the car.
962
00:53:14,274 --> 00:53:15,859
All right. Oh, a cigar!
963
00:53:15,943 --> 00:53:19,822
All right, that's
how it starts, police brutality!
964
00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:21,448
Hey, stop manhandling him!
965
00:53:21,532 --> 00:53:22,908
Hey, you can't come in here.
966
00:53:23,409 --> 00:53:25,994
Ah. Here's another one,
already lit.
967
00:53:26,078 --> 00:53:27,830
Oh, nuts! I dropped my cigar!
968
00:53:27,913 --> 00:53:28,914
Fire!
969
00:53:28,997 --> 00:53:30,308
Fire.
Oh, jeez, that's all I need.
970
00:53:30,332 --> 00:53:31,625
Solong, coppeh
971
00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:37,172
Desperate ducks
commit desperate acts.
972
00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:40,384
Freeze!
973
00:53:42,970 --> 00:53:43,971
Book him, ducko.
974
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,432
Give her the keys
to the cuffs, flatfoot.
975
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:49,685
Yeah.
976
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,331
What are you doing here
tonight? You got no ID.
977
00:53:53,355 --> 00:53:54,523
Lieutenant! What?
978
00:53:54,606 --> 00:53:55,983
The duck got away. Ah!
979
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:57,901
Get up, fool.
Get him out of here.
980
00:53:57,985 --> 00:53:59,862
Policeman: Over here,
on the double!
981
00:53:59,945 --> 00:54:01,655
Okay, I want this guy.
982
00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:04,491
The suspect is 3'1" tall.
983
00:54:04,575 --> 00:54:05,909
3'2", thank you.
984
00:54:05,993 --> 00:54:08,370
You heard me. He's armed.
985
00:54:08,454 --> 00:54:10,998
That means he's got
a weapon, right?
986
00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:14,209
That also means he's dangerous.
987
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,293
Moi?
988
00:54:15,335 --> 00:54:17,296
Extremely dangerous.
989
00:54:19,131 --> 00:54:20,632
Shoot to kill!
990
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:24,762
Let's move it out! Come on!
991
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:27,426
Man: Richard, come with me!
992
00:54:30,058 --> 00:54:33,270
Okay, let's go.
993
00:54:40,694 --> 00:54:41,820
No, don't shoot! We give up!
994
00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:43,697
Time out! We surrender!
995
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,201
Dr. Jenning?
996
00:54:47,826 --> 00:54:48,827
What?
997
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,457
More cops. Come on, hurry!
998
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:54,583
What?
999
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:55,876
Get over here, doc!
1000
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:57,294
Howard. Howard.
1001
00:54:57,377 --> 00:54:58,420
Howard: What?
1002
00:55:01,965 --> 00:55:04,092
The laser spectroscope
malfunctioned again.
1003
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:06,470
There was
a tremendous explosion,
1004
00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:09,264
and then I must've blacked out.
1005
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:12,100
Then I suddenly
find myself out here!
1006
00:55:15,771 --> 00:55:16,897
They after you?
1007
00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:19,316
Does "shoot to kill"
sound serious?
1008
00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:21,026
I'm probably finished, too.
1009
00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:24,822
These experiments
were unauthorized.
1010
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:26,240
They're probably
gonna blame me...
1011
00:55:29,117 --> 00:55:30,911
Oh, my god. You need help.
1012
00:55:31,286 --> 00:55:33,056
Howard, maybe we all
should get out of here, huh?
1013
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,790
You got a car, doc?
1014
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,172
What's wrong with me?
There's the back gate.
1015
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,216
Beverly: Good. There's no cops.
1016
00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:46,343
I don't have a gate key.
1017
00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:48,470
You've got a foot,
don't you? So step on it!
1018
00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,115
Lieutenant, a car crashed out the
back gate headed towards highway 5!
1019
00:55:59,147 --> 00:56:01,587
All right, get out an all points
bulletin right now. Yes, sir!
1020
00:56:02,943 --> 00:56:06,780
How the hell am I gonna
explain a manhunt for a duck?
1021
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:07,948
It's a duck hunt.
1022
00:56:08,031 --> 00:56:11,618
Hanson, please don't.
Don't start. Please, please.
1023
00:56:12,661 --> 00:56:14,079
You've got to understand.
1024
00:56:14,162 --> 00:56:15,789
I'm telling you,
I saw something!
1025
00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:17,958
Doc, you're in shock
from the explosion
1026
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:19,626
and you're imagining
things! Uh-uh.
1027
00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:21,044
Watch where you're going,
damn it!
1028
00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:31,305
Listen, an evil has landed.
1029
00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:33,390
The world is in great danger.
1030
00:56:33,473 --> 00:56:35,893
Yeah, it certainly is when
you're out on the highway.
1031
00:56:35,976 --> 00:56:37,102
Look out!
1032
00:56:42,858 --> 00:56:44,234
You're gonna get us killed!
1033
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:48,447
Feels like something inside
me, gnawing at my guts.
1034
00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:49,698
What's wrong with me?
1035
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:51,325
Well, what did you
have for lunch?
1036
00:56:52,492 --> 00:56:54,745
Howard: Oh, my! Oh, my!
1037
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,573
Beverly: The road's over there!
1038
00:57:05,839 --> 00:57:07,549
Come on, give us a break!
1039
00:57:07,633 --> 00:57:08,800
Don't close your eyes!
1040
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:09,885
The pain.
1041
00:57:09,968 --> 00:57:12,554
It's like
I'm transforming inside.
1042
00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:15,432
I'm afraid I'm about
to become something else.
1043
00:57:15,515 --> 00:57:17,155
Oh, great! Like a sex
change or something.
1044
00:57:17,225 --> 00:57:18,852
Something's growing inside me.
1045
00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:21,813
It's replicating and superseding
all my internal organs.
1046
00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:23,231
Well, we'll stop at a bathroom.
1047
00:57:24,524 --> 00:57:25,859
That monstrous shape I saw!
1048
00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:31,615
Jenning!
1049
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:33,450
It's inside my body!
1050
00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:36,620
This guy's delirious!
He's not making any sense!
1051
00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:39,122
It's too late! The end
of the world is coming.
1052
00:57:39,206 --> 00:57:42,125
And I will be the cause of it!
1053
00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:43,961
Jenning, slow down!
1054
00:57:44,044 --> 00:57:46,213
Steer, you big yo-yo! Steer!
1055
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:54,179
Howard! Step on the brake!
1056
00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:55,263
Who, me?
1057
00:57:55,347 --> 00:57:56,890
No, I'll step on the brake!
1058
00:58:02,396 --> 00:58:03,480
Oh!
1059
00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:05,774
Oh, no! White line! Wrong Lane!
1060
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,246
The brake! Push, beveny! Push!
1061
00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:20,664
I'm trying!
1062
00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:37,764
I'm dead.
1063
00:58:37,848 --> 00:58:39,599
Yes! You are!
1064
00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:41,184
You think that's funny, jenning?
1065
00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:42,936
I'm not jenning anymore!
1066
00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:45,188
The transformation is complete!
1067
00:58:45,272 --> 00:58:48,608
I am now someone else.
1068
00:58:48,692 --> 00:58:51,028
Try telling that
to your insurance company.
1069
00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:52,738
I think he needs some coffee.
1070
00:58:52,821 --> 00:58:54,072
Come on.
1071
00:59:05,083 --> 00:59:06,668
Oh, after you.
1072
00:59:08,545 --> 00:59:09,880
Uh-oh.
1073
00:59:19,306 --> 00:59:20,348
Sorry.
1074
00:59:20,432 --> 00:59:23,143
This is why I hate
the night shift!
1075
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:27,564
I'm sorry! We don't allow
pets on the premises.
1076
00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:30,609
Hey! Have a heart!
1077
00:59:30,692 --> 00:59:32,319
Seeing-eye duck!
1078
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,238
Touching, isn't it?
1079
00:59:35,739 --> 00:59:37,407
Ah! Not so tight!
1080
00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:39,326
What are you doing?
Falling in love?
1081
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,912
Sit down.
1082
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:43,288
I need a beer bad.
1083
00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:44,790
Goflafind a waitress. Yeah.
1084
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,002
Hey, honey! Yo!
1085
00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:50,837
Yeah, I'm coming.
1086
00:59:51,671 --> 00:59:52,839
Here she comes.
1087
00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:54,591
Wow!
1088
00:59:54,674 --> 00:59:56,718
Your kid's costume
is really radical!
1089
00:59:56,802 --> 00:59:57,802
I'll bet he's crazy about
1090
01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:02,140
Yeah. I'm very attached to it.
1091
01:00:03,350 --> 01:00:06,103
Your dad...
Sort of in his own space.
1092
01:00:06,186 --> 01:00:07,813
What do you think
he'd like to eat?
1093
01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:10,607
Inolongerneed human food.
1094
01:00:11,525 --> 01:00:12,609
Mmm-mmm.
1095
01:00:12,692 --> 01:00:13,795
Waitress: I know it's a drag,
1096
01:00:13,819 --> 01:00:15,838
but you're gonna have to order
some food if you want to sit here,
1097
01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:17,864
so how about the
specials on the menu?
1098
01:00:21,201 --> 01:00:25,080
You are about to witness
the end of the old world
1099
01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:27,124
and the birth of the new.
1100
01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:32,671
Hey! Is he, like, one of those
TV evangelists or something?
1101
01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:34,214
Or something.
1102
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,674
I'm gonna kill somebody.
1103
01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:36,842
It's okay, Howard.
1104
01:00:36,925 --> 01:00:39,028
Why don't we just have
three specials and three beers?
1105
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,220
Right.
1106
01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:44,474
Poor girl.
1107
01:00:44,558 --> 01:00:47,894
Listen! Dr. J? Yoo-hoo!
1108
01:00:48,436 --> 01:00:51,356
If you can tune back
into reality for a second.
1109
01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:53,359
I don't understand anything
you're talking about.
1110
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:54,401
Mmm-mmm.
1111
01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:58,572
All I know is I need that
laser machine to get me home.
1112
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,407
Is it still working, jenning?
1113
01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:01,658
Jenning!
1114
01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:06,580
I told you, bird brain,
I am not jenning anymore.
1115
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:11,084
I am now one of the dark
overlords of the universe.
1116
01:01:11,543 --> 01:01:14,171
"Dark overlord of the universe"?
1117
01:01:14,254 --> 01:01:16,173
That must be quite
a responsibility.
1118
01:01:16,256 --> 01:01:20,802
Tonight, the laser beam
hit the nexus of sominus.
1119
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,679
What is that?
A suburb of Cleveland?
1120
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,849
It lies beyond the planets.
1121
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:28,935
It is a region of demons
1122
01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:33,190
to which we dark overlords
were exiled eons ago.
1123
01:01:33,273 --> 01:01:35,609
I hope you're getting all this.
1124
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:39,362
Howard, what I'm getting is
that this man is very, very sick.
1125
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,407
Just as you were brought
down here accidentally,
1126
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:48,455
tonight the laser beam released
me from that region of demons
1127
01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:52,375
and pulled me down
into that lab.
1128
01:01:52,459 --> 01:01:53,960
Small universe.
1129
01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:59,216
During the explosion,
I entered jenning's body.
1130
01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:06,890
I have disguised my true form,
1131
01:02:06,973 --> 01:02:12,812
which would be considered
hideous and revolting here.
1132
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:16,441
Mmm-hmm. Lucky
for the people eating.
1133
01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:20,922
You ordered three
specials. What's wrong?
1134
01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:25,742
This will mean the extinction
of all existing life forms.
1135
01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:27,827
You haven't even tasted it yet.
1136
01:02:28,036 --> 01:02:30,664
What do you think? I'm into
cannibalism or something?
1137
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:34,042
Hey! Are we, like, all in
the same discussion here?
1138
01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:35,752
I'll give you a hint, doll.
1139
01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:38,838
What's white, ovoid and always
reminds me of my birthday?
1140
01:02:38,922 --> 01:02:39,923
I don't know.
1141
01:02:40,006 --> 01:02:42,175
The eggs! Get 'em out of here!
1142
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:44,594
Gosh! You know...
1143
01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:47,514
Hostility is, like,
a psychic boomerang.
1144
01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,267
I can't believe this planet.
1145
01:02:50,350 --> 01:02:52,435
Fried eggs? Yuck!
1146
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,562
Just bring the beer!
1147
01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:56,147
Howard! Howard!
1148
01:03:10,412 --> 01:03:11,621
What happened?
1149
01:03:11,705 --> 01:03:12,956
How the hell did you do that?
1150
01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:14,791
My powers are growing!
1151
01:03:14,874 --> 01:03:15,875
Watch out!
1152
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:17,460
It is time now.
1153
01:03:17,544 --> 01:03:18,545
What's that?
1154
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:20,130
It is the code key.
1155
01:03:20,213 --> 01:03:23,425
It will activate the laser
spectroscope when I use it tonight
1156
01:03:23,508 --> 01:03:26,469
to bring down the other
dark overlords.
1157
01:03:26,553 --> 01:03:27,554
The others?
1158
01:03:27,637 --> 01:03:30,015
Now he's got a whole gang.
Well, screw 'em.
1159
01:03:30,098 --> 01:03:31,641
I got dibs on the laser first!
1160
01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:33,935
Give me that code key.
That's my ticket home!
1161
01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:44,154
Howard: Look at his hand!
1162
01:03:44,237 --> 01:03:45,864
That's nothing.
Look at his face!
1163
01:03:45,947 --> 01:03:51,369
Yes. Soon the dark overlords
will engulf the earth.
1164
01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:54,831
Nothing human will remain here.
1165
01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:57,625
Yeah? Well, nothing duck's
remaining here, either.
1166
01:03:57,709 --> 01:03:58,709
Move! We're going!
1167
01:03:58,752 --> 01:04:00,003
You'll get the check?
1168
01:04:01,171 --> 01:04:02,756
Hate to eat and run.
1169
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:03,882
Hello there.
1170
01:04:03,965 --> 01:04:05,216
Get out of the way.
1171
01:04:05,300 --> 01:04:06,718
Hey, look at the talking duck.
1172
01:04:06,801 --> 01:04:07,802
Bug off!
1173
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:10,096
Lord! What is that?
1174
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:12,223
You jackass!
He's a ventriloquist.
1175
01:04:12,307 --> 01:04:14,809
This guy here's doing the
talking, and this here's the dummy.
1176
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:16,311
Go ahead. Say something, dummy.
1177
01:04:16,394 --> 01:04:19,272
You might not want to
hear what I'll say, bozo.
1178
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,776
Did you make him
say that, jerk-off?
1179
01:04:22,901 --> 01:04:24,527
Oh!
1180
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:27,447
Leave him alone. He was
just in an industrial accident.
1181
01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:29,615
Take a hike, cowboy!
1182
01:04:29,657 --> 01:04:31,576
You're a dead duck!
Beverly: Hey!
1183
01:04:31,659 --> 01:04:33,495
What's this? The key
to your duckmobile?
1184
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:35,205
Give me that or
you're gonna be sorry.
1185
01:04:35,288 --> 01:04:37,624
You better watch out!
He's a master of quack fu!
1186
01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,125
I'll quack fu him!
1187
01:04:40,085 --> 01:04:41,127
Doink!
1188
01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:42,962
Going down!
1189
01:04:43,046 --> 01:04:44,589
Howard: Come on, bev, run!
1190
01:04:44,672 --> 01:04:46,216
Oh, nuts! Going up!
1191
01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:48,134
Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm sorry!
1192
01:04:50,428 --> 01:04:51,888
Howard! Howard!
1193
01:04:53,056 --> 01:04:54,307
Quack!
1194
01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:56,142
This one's for you, quackeh
1195
01:04:57,435 --> 01:04:58,728
Good shot!
1196
01:04:58,812 --> 01:05:01,689
Another hungry customer! Yeah!
1197
01:05:01,773 --> 01:05:02,773
You!
1198
01:05:02,816 --> 01:05:05,110
Toro! Toro! Olé!
1199
01:05:06,027 --> 01:05:08,405
I'm gonna get you,
you dumb duck!
1200
01:05:09,781 --> 01:05:11,199
Airborne!
1201
01:05:14,369 --> 01:05:15,912
You damn nut! Go away!
1202
01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:18,039
Call the police! Not the police.
1203
01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:19,123
Call somebody else.
1204
01:05:19,165 --> 01:05:20,205
They're gonna hurt Howard.
1205
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,419
An evil unlike any
you can imagine
1206
01:05:22,502 --> 01:05:25,130
is about to engulf the earth.
1207
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:26,464
Oh, no, no.
1208
01:05:26,548 --> 01:05:28,007
We have fights
in here all the time.
1209
01:05:28,091 --> 01:05:31,845
Howard: Come and get it!
Your order's ready!
1210
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:33,888
You gonna just sit there?
1211
01:05:33,972 --> 01:05:35,640
She took my eggs. Oh!
1212
01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:37,142
Howard: One special!
1213
01:05:38,351 --> 01:05:40,353
Howard! Beveny!
1214
01:05:41,020 --> 01:05:42,020
Howard!
1215
01:05:42,063 --> 01:05:45,316
Jenning! I could use
some help here, buddy!
1216
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:46,943
Come on! Let's get out of here!
1217
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:51,114
Yeah!
1218
01:05:51,197 --> 01:05:52,449
Howard!
1219
01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:54,229
Man: You're not
getting away now,
1220
01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:55,410
you stupid little bird!
1221
01:05:55,493 --> 01:05:56,804
Howard: Now you're
ruffling my feathers!
1222
01:05:56,828 --> 01:05:58,455
Put me down,
you big hairless ape!
1223
01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,373
Put me down right now!
1224
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:01,958
Put him down!
1225
01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:05,211
Howard may be a duck,
but you people are animals!
1226
01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:07,130
He's my boyfriend!
1227
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,634
That's disgusting.
1228
01:06:11,718 --> 01:06:12,802
All: Yeah!
1229
01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:14,637
You're not making me
proud to be a human!
1230
01:06:14,721 --> 01:06:17,015
Howard: Let me just pay
the check and I'm out of here!
1231
01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:19,952
I can't believe
you're just sitting here!
1232
01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:21,561
Look what they're
doing to Howard!
1233
01:06:22,729 --> 01:06:24,063
Oh, jeez!
1234
01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:25,416
Man 1: Chicken-fried!
Man 2: Duck!
1235
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,317
Howard: Where's the spca
when you need 'em?
1236
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:28,651
I am not amused!
1237
01:06:28,735 --> 01:06:31,321
Man: I'm gonna barbecue
your bill, bird!
1238
01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:33,990
Oh, great duck in heaven,
is this the end of Howard?
1239
01:06:34,073 --> 01:06:35,325
There's gonna be more violence!
1240
01:06:35,408 --> 01:06:36,659
I hate violence!
1241
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:38,661
You gotta go in there
and beat 'em up!
1242
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:40,288
Jenning! Jenning!
1243
01:06:40,371 --> 01:06:42,499
Don't just sit there!
This is serious!
1244
01:06:42,582 --> 01:06:44,167
They're gonna cook me!
1245
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:45,293
Man 1: Take that!
1246
01:06:45,376 --> 01:06:47,003
Man 2: Stuff him!
1247
01:06:47,086 --> 01:06:48,588
Any last words?
1248
01:06:49,839 --> 01:06:52,008
Yeah. Jenning!
1249
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,135
He's my favorite duck.
1250
01:06:54,219 --> 01:06:55,970
You hardly know him.
1251
01:06:56,054 --> 01:06:58,014
Jenning! They're seasoning me!
1252
01:06:58,097 --> 01:06:59,849
Wait. You better let me up.
1253
01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:01,327
You don't want
to get my friend angry.
1254
01:07:01,351 --> 01:07:03,269
Oh, yeah? Why?
1255
01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:06,189
Because he's one of the
dark overlords of the universe
1256
01:07:06,272 --> 01:07:09,192
and he can destroy you
and the earth. Everything!
1257
01:07:12,278 --> 01:07:14,697
Yeah. Well, I didn't
buy it at first, either.
1258
01:07:14,781 --> 01:07:16,533
Look! They're laughing at you!
1259
01:07:16,616 --> 01:07:18,910
And they've got Mr. Code key.
1260
01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:23,122
Oh, my god.
1261
01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:25,792
One, two...
1262
01:07:25,875 --> 01:07:28,169
Waita minute! Jenning!
1263
01:07:28,253 --> 01:07:31,464
Oh, look! I warned
you! Here he comes!
1264
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:48,690
He must have ate the chili.
1265
01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:51,484
Release the small waterfowl.
1266
01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:56,364
Bring me the code key, Howard.
1267
01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:57,740
Right. The code key.
1268
01:07:57,824 --> 01:08:00,410
You heard him. Cut me loose.
1269
01:08:00,493 --> 01:08:04,289
Sounds like a bunch
of bullpucky to me!
1270
01:08:06,499 --> 01:08:07,875
Oh, my god!
1271
01:08:22,307 --> 01:08:24,809
Yikes! Oh, my god!
1272
01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:34,402
Are you okay, Howard?
1273
01:08:35,153 --> 01:08:36,154
Yes.
1274
01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:37,739
Enough of this crap!
1275
01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:39,032
You! Out of here!
1276
01:08:41,367 --> 01:08:44,662
If you can't take the heat,
get out of that kitchen!
1277
01:08:51,669 --> 01:08:52,795
Where's the code key?
1278
01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:55,381
It's closing time!
1279
01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:01,763
Howard: The code key!
1280
01:09:01,846 --> 01:09:04,891
It's not nice to fool
with a dark overlord.
1281
01:09:12,190 --> 01:09:15,151
Man 1: Let me out!
Man 2: Let me out of here!
1282
01:09:20,698 --> 01:09:23,159
They get the point, jenning!
1283
01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:25,244
Man: Move! Get out of the way!
1284
01:09:37,548 --> 01:09:38,549
Now's our chance.
1285
01:09:38,633 --> 01:09:40,551
Yeah. Come on. This way.
1286
01:09:42,762 --> 01:09:44,514
Cut it out, Howard.
1287
01:09:45,473 --> 01:09:46,474
Ahlahlah!
1288
01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:48,643
Going somewhere?
1289
01:09:49,268 --> 01:09:51,270
Yeah. Without you.
1290
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:06,202
Move the table out of the way!
1291
01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:07,845
Beverly: Oh, god, it's stuck!
1292
01:10:07,912 --> 01:10:09,706
Uh-oh. What's wrong?
1293
01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:14,502
Howard, get down from there!
1294
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:17,338
Like I'm doing this on purpose!
1295
01:10:17,422 --> 01:10:19,298
Give me the code key!
1296
01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:20,842
Oh, yeah? What if I don't?
1297
01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:24,512
Ouch! Can't you take a joke?
1298
01:10:24,595 --> 01:10:26,347
Jeez! You broke my head!
1299
01:10:38,025 --> 01:10:41,946
I will now bring down
the other dark overlords.
1300
01:10:42,029 --> 01:10:43,614
Hey! What about me?
1301
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:55,501
Oh!
1302
01:10:56,043 --> 01:10:57,837
You filthy scum bucket!
1303
01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:21,402
Howard!
1304
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:25,198
No! Beverly!
1305
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:32,705
Beveny!
1306
01:11:40,546 --> 01:11:41,547
No! Look out!
1307
01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:46,803
You killed him! You killed him!
1308
01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:54,435
Beverly! I'll find you.
1309
01:12:02,735 --> 01:12:04,570
I need your body!
1310
01:12:05,112 --> 01:12:06,948
Creep! I've heard
that one before!
1311
01:12:07,031 --> 01:12:10,493
The dark overlords
cannot exist on this planet
1312
01:12:10,576 --> 01:12:15,790
unless they grow
inside a human body.
1313
01:12:16,290 --> 01:12:17,708
Oh, god. No.
1314
01:12:22,839 --> 01:12:24,507
I hurt!
1315
01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:26,008
Need energy!
1316
01:12:29,929 --> 01:12:31,264
Watch out!
1317
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:36,644
More energy!
1318
01:12:46,696 --> 01:12:48,739
That's the grossest!
I'm gonna puke!
1319
01:12:55,997 --> 01:12:57,707
Oh, god!
1320
01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:15,391
Waitress: All this I explained
to the first officer...
1321
01:13:15,474 --> 01:13:18,936
There was this big guy
and this girl and this little kid.
1322
01:13:19,020 --> 01:13:20,163
At least, I thought
it was a little kid.
1323
01:13:20,187 --> 01:13:21,188
Uh-huh.
1324
01:13:21,272 --> 01:13:23,107
Then I flashed
on reality, right? Bam!
1325
01:13:23,190 --> 01:13:24,817
Halloween's not till next month.
1326
01:13:25,568 --> 01:13:28,237
I know my rights!
Where's my baseball cap?
1327
01:13:28,321 --> 01:13:29,447
Policeman: Shut up!
1328
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:30,781
Fascist!
1329
01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:34,827
Oh. No handle.
1330
01:13:37,496 --> 01:13:39,123
Howard: Philsie!
1331
01:13:40,750 --> 01:13:42,001
Philsie!
1332
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:49,050
Philsie! It's me!
1333
01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:54,847
Howard!
1334
01:14:03,314 --> 01:14:05,107
Howard, I got arrested
at the plant.
1335
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:06,609
I'm gonna have
a criminal record.
1336
01:14:06,692 --> 01:14:09,070
Ah. Jenning kidnapped Beverly.
1337
01:14:09,153 --> 01:14:11,280
He's taking her back
to that science lab.
1338
01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:12,907
What? Why?
1339
01:14:12,990 --> 01:14:14,325
He's some kind of monster.
1340
01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:16,285
He's gonna bring down
more of his buddies.
1341
01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:19,080
He's got big plans,
like taking over earth.
1342
01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:21,499
Philsie, we gotta
get out of here.
1343
01:14:21,582 --> 01:14:24,752
Howard... this door
doesn't have any handles.
1344
01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:26,587
Get a rock or something,
break this window.
1345
01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:27,671
Rock?
1346
01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:28,881
Window.
1347
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,468
Let me try the door first.
1348
01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:37,574
How are we getting out of here?
1349
01:14:37,598 --> 01:14:38,849
Come on.
1350
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:41,602
Philsie, where are we going?
1351
01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:47,817
Hey, over here!
1352
01:14:50,069 --> 01:14:51,278
It'll be dawn soon.
1353
01:14:51,946 --> 01:14:54,156
Howard: Hey,
let's steal a cop car.
1354
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,450
Don't you think that'd
be a little conspicuous?
1355
01:14:56,534 --> 01:14:57,576
Hitchhike. Cab.
1356
01:14:58,244 --> 01:14:59,829
What is that?
1357
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:04,667
Jeezihlooks like an airplane.
1358
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:07,253
Well, itwill be. We can
put it together in no time.
1359
01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:10,339
Somebody's weekend hobby
is gonna get us back to that lab.
1360
01:15:10,423 --> 01:15:12,800
Hey, we've got
a saying on my planet,
1361
01:15:12,883 --> 01:15:16,345
if god intended us to fly, he
wouldn't have taken away our wings.
1362
01:15:16,429 --> 01:15:18,789
That's really profound, Howard.
Could you find the tool box?
1363
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:21,559
Yeah. I know why
you want a tool box.
1364
01:15:21,642 --> 01:15:22,977
You got a screw loose.
1365
01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:41,537
Power.
1366
01:15:43,456 --> 01:15:44,665
Oh, no.
1367
01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:05,644
They just spotted the
duck and the kid. Where?
1368
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:07,021
Behind the warehouse next door.
1369
01:16:07,104 --> 01:16:08,230
They're about to take off.
1370
01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:09,732
What do you mean, take off?
1371
01:16:10,983 --> 01:16:12,735
It's not doing anything. Cops!
1372
01:16:13,986 --> 01:16:15,529
Throttle! Push forward
on the throttle!
1373
01:16:15,613 --> 01:16:16,781
Okay. Yeah.
1374
01:16:16,864 --> 01:16:18,991
Full throttle! Full throttle!
1375
01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:21,117
Cops, philsie!
1376
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:22,161
180, Howard!
1377
01:16:22,244 --> 01:16:23,829
Right!
1378
01:16:23,913 --> 01:16:24,955
Whoa!
1379
01:16:25,039 --> 01:16:26,290
Whoa!
1380
01:16:26,373 --> 01:16:27,374
Run away!
1381
01:16:32,505 --> 01:16:33,798
There's cops everywhere!
1382
01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:36,342
Not in the air, Howard! Up! Up!
1383
01:16:37,635 --> 01:16:38,636
Howard: Look out!
1384
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:44,475
Prepare for takeoff!
1385
01:16:52,191 --> 01:16:53,776
Whoa! No! No!
1386
01:17:00,658 --> 01:17:03,077
Follow them. Bring them
down and bring them back!
1387
01:17:05,830 --> 01:17:07,123
I want that duck
1388
01:17:08,165 --> 01:17:09,208
dead or alive.
1389
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:11,669
It's south-southwest, Howard!
1390
01:17:11,752 --> 01:17:12,878
What?
1391
01:17:13,921 --> 01:17:16,382
That way! Stay low!
1392
01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:19,510
Beverly, I'm coming
to get you, sweetheart!
1393
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,996
Help me! Help!
1394
01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,123
Somebody help me!
Please help me!
1395
01:17:49,206 --> 01:17:50,332
Man: Please watch your step.
1396
01:17:50,416 --> 01:17:51,935
I think you're all gonna
find this very interesting.
1397
01:17:51,959 --> 01:17:53,103
You know, honestly, congressmen,
1398
01:17:53,127 --> 01:17:55,504
this three mile island, China
syndrome meltdown stuff,
1399
01:17:55,588 --> 01:17:56,589
that's all history.
1400
01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:57,774
The only meltdowns around here
1401
01:17:57,798 --> 01:17:59,675
are the cheese sandwiches
in the toaster oven.
1402
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,848
Wow!
1403
01:18:05,931 --> 01:18:09,268
These Washington guys take
a real beating on these junkets.
1404
01:18:09,351 --> 01:18:11,312
Our nuclear reactor,
1405
01:18:11,395 --> 01:18:15,691
pumping out 1 million
kilowatts of power.
1406
01:18:15,774 --> 01:18:18,777
One million kilowatts.
1407
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:22,615
Power.
1408
01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:24,450
Yes, sir.
1409
01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:27,077
Listen, I think we could
all use a cup of coffee.
1410
01:18:27,161 --> 01:18:29,914
Help! Somebody help me, please!
1411
01:18:29,997 --> 01:18:31,290
Help!
1412
01:19:12,915 --> 01:19:14,750
Let's go, let's go.
Come on, come on, come on!
1413
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:30,641
I feel much better.
1414
01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:39,358
No, no, not that!
Right pedal! Right pedal!
1415
01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:43,779
Damn it! That was too close!
1416
01:19:43,862 --> 01:19:44,905
I'm just learning, here.
1417
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,283
Howard, in prehistoric times,
you flew.
1418
01:19:47,366 --> 01:19:49,827
Fly, Howard!
Find your instincts.
1419
01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:51,912
Trust your birdness! Fly!
1420
01:19:51,996 --> 01:19:52,997
Howard: Yikes!
1421
01:20:08,721 --> 01:20:10,848
Howard, pull up! Pull up!
1422
01:20:15,728 --> 01:20:16,812
Touchdown!
1423
01:20:16,895 --> 01:20:19,898
Great landing, Howard, but
this isn't gonna get us to the lab.
1424
01:20:19,982 --> 01:20:22,067
You said to follow my instincts.
1425
01:20:22,151 --> 01:20:24,236
This is my nesting instinct.
1426
01:20:25,988 --> 01:20:26,989
Oh, no!
1427
01:20:28,407 --> 01:20:29,700
I'm flying blind here!
1428
01:20:29,783 --> 01:20:32,244
Shut up! You're not
flying at all!
1429
01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:33,329
Let her rip!
1430
01:20:33,412 --> 01:20:34,580
Bombs away!
1431
01:20:40,252 --> 01:20:42,296
Pull it up, Howard!
We're running out of land!
1432
01:20:42,379 --> 01:20:44,006
Oh! One step ahead!
1433
01:20:44,089 --> 01:20:45,591
Phil: Watch out!
1434
01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:15,037
Death from the skies
to all duck hunters!
1435
01:21:16,622 --> 01:21:17,915
Tora! Tora! Tora!
1436
01:21:19,375 --> 01:21:21,543
Vengeance is mine! Yeah!
1437
01:21:21,627 --> 01:21:22,628
Howard!
1438
01:21:23,629 --> 01:21:24,963
Banzah
1439
01:21:39,853 --> 01:21:42,064
Slow down! Slow down there!
1440
01:21:43,190 --> 01:21:44,525
Hey, you! Pull over here!
1441
01:21:55,911 --> 01:21:57,663
This is a smog
device inspection.
1442
01:21:59,498 --> 01:22:00,624
And I need...
1443
01:22:00,707 --> 01:22:02,084
Shut off the engine! It is off!
1444
01:22:02,167 --> 01:22:03,335
Somebody's pushing.
1445
01:22:07,005 --> 01:22:08,765
Whiplash! Whiplash!
I'm gonna call my lawyer!
1446
01:22:08,799 --> 01:22:10,717
Shut it down! Shut it down!
1447
01:22:10,843 --> 01:22:12,302
What the hell's
wrong with you? No...
1448
01:22:14,054 --> 01:22:15,639
I want to see
your license, Jack.
1449
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,724
I have no license.
1450
01:22:18,350 --> 01:22:21,019
I am not Jack.
1451
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:44,710
Man: Come on, come on!
Get out of here!
1452
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,729
Smog inspection.
1453
01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:14,573
What happened?
1454
01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:19,745
We gotta get out of here!
1455
01:23:24,374 --> 01:23:26,043
Damage report, philsie.
1456
01:23:26,126 --> 01:23:30,130
Fuel hose is busted!
Rudder is wasted!
1457
01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:33,050
Basically, we're
dying here, Howard.
1458
01:23:36,220 --> 01:23:37,346
I'm bailing out.
1459
01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:39,139
No, you're not! You're
gonna get up there
1460
01:23:39,223 --> 01:23:41,308
and fix this lawn mower now!
1461
01:23:51,193 --> 01:23:52,778
Philsie, how's it going?
1462
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:54,988
Getting close! I'm on top of it!
1463
01:23:55,072 --> 01:23:56,365
Good.
1464
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:02,829
Relax, Howard.
I've almost got it.
1465
01:24:11,380 --> 01:24:12,548
Uh-oh.
1466
01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,846
Philsie, I did aloopdhejoop!
1467
01:24:19,930 --> 01:24:21,431
I'm getting good at this!
1468
01:24:22,975 --> 01:24:24,268
Hello?
1469
01:24:24,351 --> 01:24:25,394
Howard!
1470
01:24:27,187 --> 01:24:28,814
Up, Howard!
1471
01:24:30,983 --> 01:24:32,985
Aw, jeez! I thought I lost you.
1472
01:24:34,820 --> 01:24:37,531
Philsie, this is no time
for water sports.
1473
01:24:37,614 --> 01:24:39,575
I'm just kidding, big guy.
1474
01:24:53,338 --> 01:24:55,465
You scum, let me go!
1475
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:09,104
Philsie, get back up here!
1476
01:25:09,187 --> 01:25:11,815
I'm trying!
1477
01:25:11,898 --> 01:25:13,817
No! No! Don't shoot!
1478
01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:16,361
I'm an innocent hostage!
The duck's a lunatic!
1479
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:17,613
What?
1480
01:25:17,696 --> 01:25:20,782
He's a duck terrorist!
He hijacked the plane!
1481
01:25:21,867 --> 01:25:22,867
Whoa!
1482
01:25:25,245 --> 01:25:26,246
Howard, pull it up!
1483
01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:35,339
Welcome back, philsie!
1484
01:25:35,422 --> 01:25:37,549
Thanks! It's great
to be back, Howard!
1485
01:25:40,177 --> 01:25:42,137
Would you watch
the road, damn it?
1486
01:25:42,220 --> 01:25:45,682
Hey, another car. No big deal.
1487
01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:50,520
Yes! Big deal! Big, big, big,
big, big... choo-choo! Big deal!
1488
01:25:56,610 --> 01:25:57,611
No wings.
1489
01:25:57,694 --> 01:25:58,904
Welcome to the club!
1490
01:26:00,072 --> 01:26:01,073
Coming through!
1491
01:26:08,121 --> 01:26:09,932
That was a lot of fun.
I'd like to get off now.
1492
01:26:09,956 --> 01:26:11,917
Slowdown.
1493
01:26:13,585 --> 01:26:15,295
Slow down!
1494
01:26:15,379 --> 01:26:18,006
Relax. I'll just throttle
this baby back.
1495
01:26:18,590 --> 01:26:19,591
Yikes!
1496
01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:22,761
Philsie, I'd better
tell you now. What?
1497
01:26:22,844 --> 01:26:24,388
I can't swim!
1498
01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:26,223
Phil: Oh, great!
1499
01:26:32,312 --> 01:26:33,605
Philsie, help!
1500
01:26:33,689 --> 01:26:36,316
Philsie, help me!
1501
01:26:36,400 --> 01:26:38,527
I never heard of a duck
that couldn't swim.
1502
01:26:38,610 --> 01:26:40,278
Shut up and save me!
1503
01:26:40,946 --> 01:26:42,572
Phil: We've been through hell!
1504
01:26:42,656 --> 01:26:46,952
Now, if there is some kind of
monster in here... Howard, this is crazy!
1505
01:26:47,035 --> 01:26:49,871
Phil, no duck is an island.
1506
01:26:49,955 --> 01:26:52,582
And if fate sent me
here to save earth,
1507
01:26:52,666 --> 01:26:55,293
then Howard the duck
is ready to fight.
1508
01:26:58,505 --> 01:26:59,631
Damn.
1509
01:27:09,349 --> 01:27:10,851
Phil: Yikes.
1510
01:27:10,934 --> 01:27:12,394
He's starting the spectroscope.
1511
01:27:12,477 --> 01:27:15,981
Jeez. He's gonna bring down
another dark overlord.
1512
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:17,607
We gotta get Beverly
out of there.
1513
01:27:17,691 --> 01:27:19,359
Hey, take it easy, conan.
1514
01:27:19,443 --> 01:27:20,712
What are you gonna
fight him with?
1515
01:27:20,736 --> 01:27:22,237
We gotta find some kind of...
1516
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:25,365
Wait. Carter showed me
something here once that might do it,
1517
01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:26,742
if we can find it.
1518
01:27:28,201 --> 01:27:29,745
You'll never get away with this.
1519
01:27:32,164 --> 01:27:35,459
We'll find it! Come on, philsie.
1520
01:27:36,668 --> 01:27:38,420
You don't scare me!
1521
01:27:42,966 --> 01:27:44,217
Oh!
1522
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:50,098
Wait. Defense research!
This is it! This is it!
1523
01:27:50,182 --> 01:27:51,391
This is locked!
1524
01:28:01,777 --> 01:28:02,944
Okay, I know where it is.
1525
01:28:03,028 --> 01:28:05,947
It's on the right
or the left or the...
1526
01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:10,160
Ah! There it is.
The neutron disintegrator.
1527
01:28:12,204 --> 01:28:13,205
Hmm...
1528
01:28:13,288 --> 01:28:15,540
And a big lock.
1529
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:16,917
Rats.
1530
01:28:18,418 --> 01:28:20,837
Okay. All right.
1531
01:28:20,921 --> 01:28:22,839
Turn me into a dark overlord.
1532
01:28:22,923 --> 01:28:24,841
I'll still spit
in your wormy face.
1533
01:28:29,596 --> 01:28:31,973
Computer voice:
Welcome to dynatechnics.
1534
01:28:32,057 --> 01:28:34,184
Authorized personnel only.
1535
01:28:34,267 --> 01:28:36,269
Please insert code key.
1536
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:38,313
Authorized personnel only.
1537
01:28:39,272 --> 01:28:41,608
Thank you. Hello, Dr. Jenning.
1538
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:45,153
Please select your target
and enter target coordinates.
1539
01:28:47,239 --> 01:28:48,323
Thank you.
1540
01:28:48,406 --> 01:28:52,661
Laser spectroscope is now
targeting the nexus of sominus.
1541
01:28:52,744 --> 01:28:54,329
Targeting is in process.
1542
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:05,298
Come on, philsie. Hit it harder!
1543
01:29:06,383 --> 01:29:08,218
Way to go! Yeah!
1544
01:29:09,177 --> 01:29:10,345
Hurry up.
1545
01:29:10,428 --> 01:29:12,514
The neutron disintegrator
was developed for the army
1546
01:29:12,597 --> 01:29:14,766
until cost over-runs
became really embarrassing.
1547
01:29:14,850 --> 01:29:16,017
Can it stop jenning?
1548
01:29:16,101 --> 01:29:17,102
Theoretically, yes.
1549
01:29:17,185 --> 01:29:18,770
Unfortunately,
it's never been tested.
1550
01:29:22,774 --> 01:29:24,693
Computer voice:
Attention all personnel,
1551
01:29:24,776 --> 01:29:26,695
please clear
the upper bay stations
1552
01:29:26,778 --> 01:29:28,780
while laser doors are opening.
1553
01:29:30,991 --> 01:29:33,702
Please initiate
spectroscope extension.
1554
01:29:38,373 --> 01:29:40,375
Target is now locked.
1555
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:42,294
Target is now locked.
1556
01:29:46,047 --> 01:29:48,174
Is this, like,
stick shift or automatic?
1557
01:29:48,258 --> 01:29:52,345
Howard, you have to get into
firing range without him seeing you.
1558
01:29:52,429 --> 01:29:55,974
Right. I'll sneak up on him,
and then I'll blast him.
1559
01:29:56,391 --> 01:29:59,102
Computer voice: Do you
wish to bring the laser to full power?
1560
01:29:59,185 --> 01:30:03,315
Dr. Jenning, I repeat, do you
wish to bring the laser to full power?
1561
01:30:05,150 --> 01:30:06,568
Thank you.
1562
01:30:08,403 --> 01:30:09,738
What's this do?
1563
01:30:09,946 --> 01:30:11,323
No! That's...
1564
01:30:15,118 --> 01:30:16,328
Howard!
1565
01:30:19,831 --> 01:30:21,833
You're in big trouble now!
1566
01:30:21,917 --> 01:30:24,002
Yeah, shut up!
1567
01:30:38,016 --> 01:30:40,936
Beverly: Run, Howard!
He's in a bad mood!
1568
01:30:44,856 --> 01:30:48,443
Come on! Move!
Let's crank her up!
1569
01:30:49,736 --> 01:30:50,737
Hurry!
1570
01:30:50,820 --> 01:30:52,906
Where's that button?
It won't start!
1571
01:30:55,325 --> 01:30:57,661
Oh, my god. Ahh!
1572
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,622
Watch out!
1573
01:31:01,206 --> 01:31:02,206
Jump, Howard!
1574
01:31:02,248 --> 01:31:03,291
This is our only chance!
1575
01:31:03,375 --> 01:31:04,417
Get out of there! Duck!
1576
01:31:04,501 --> 01:31:05,877
And proud of it!
1577
01:31:38,326 --> 01:31:40,286
Philsie? You saved my life!
1578
01:31:41,371 --> 01:31:42,831
Are you all right?
1579
01:31:42,914 --> 01:31:44,499
Terrific, Howard.
1580
01:31:44,582 --> 01:31:45,917
It still won't start.
1581
01:31:46,459 --> 01:31:48,211
Try the seatbelt, Howard.
1582
01:31:48,294 --> 01:31:49,587
Seatbelt?
1583
01:31:50,755 --> 01:31:52,048
Vvhoalvvhoa!
1584
01:31:58,304 --> 01:32:01,516
You little pond-hopper.
1585
01:32:14,571 --> 01:32:16,740
Go, Howard! Go!
1586
01:32:25,248 --> 01:32:27,500
Oh! Talk about bad breath!
1587
01:32:31,337 --> 01:32:33,465
Turbo charge!
1588
01:32:44,434 --> 01:32:46,102
Whoa!
1589
01:32:53,902 --> 01:32:55,528
Now it's my turn.
1590
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:17,509
Dark overlord, I want you!
1591
01:33:28,686 --> 01:33:30,688
Prepare to eat beak.
1592
01:33:46,246 --> 01:33:47,580
So long, sucker!
1593
01:33:52,210 --> 01:33:53,378
Howard!
1594
01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:16,734
Howard?
1595
01:34:21,906 --> 01:34:23,116
Howard?
1596
01:34:26,411 --> 01:34:30,665
Howard: Oh, boy. Oh...
1597
01:34:30,748 --> 01:34:31,958
Howard.
1598
01:34:38,423 --> 01:34:39,883
Howard!
1599
01:34:39,966 --> 01:34:41,467
You all right?
1600
01:34:42,093 --> 01:34:44,470
I need this like
I need another tail.
1601
01:34:44,888 --> 01:34:45,889
You did it!
1602
01:34:45,972 --> 01:34:47,098
Hey, get me down from here!
1603
01:34:47,765 --> 01:34:49,017
Come on!
1604
01:34:50,685 --> 01:34:51,895
Oh!
1605
01:34:54,939 --> 01:34:56,274
Dr. Jenning?
1606
01:34:56,357 --> 01:34:57,817
Howard, it's not...
1607
01:34:57,901 --> 01:34:58,902
It's not what?
1608
01:34:58,985 --> 01:35:00,570
The evil's not
inside me anymore.
1609
01:35:00,653 --> 01:35:02,864
The explosion must've
released it, and it's loose!
1610
01:35:02,947 --> 01:35:04,032
What about me?
1611
01:35:04,115 --> 01:35:05,575
The dark overlord is still here!
1612
01:35:05,658 --> 01:35:09,078
Well, then I suggest we get
Beverly and get the hell out of here!
1613
01:35:12,040 --> 01:35:13,640
Howard: Philsie,
get her down from there!
1614
01:35:15,960 --> 01:35:17,045
What took you so long?
1615
01:35:17,128 --> 01:35:20,006
Oh, nothing. Just got
arrested, shot at, handcuffed.
1616
01:35:20,131 --> 01:35:22,571
I got thrown out... I was
kidnapped, strapped to this table...
1617
01:35:23,968 --> 01:35:26,012
Guys! Guys!
1618
01:35:26,095 --> 01:35:27,347
In a cigarette lighter!
1619
01:35:27,430 --> 01:35:29,182
Cigarette lighter?
That's really disgusting!
1620
01:35:29,265 --> 01:35:30,642
Guys! Both: What?
1621
01:35:52,914 --> 01:35:54,499
Oh, my god.
1622
01:36:09,472 --> 01:36:11,975
Phil! Phil! Get up!
Get up! It's coming!
1623
01:36:12,058 --> 01:36:13,559
It's coming? I was just resting.
1624
01:36:13,643 --> 01:36:14,644
Look!
1625
01:36:15,728 --> 01:36:20,692
There will be no escape!
1626
01:36:38,543 --> 01:36:40,128
Good boy. Stay back! Stay back!
1627
01:36:40,211 --> 01:36:41,713
Oh, boy! Oh!
1628
01:36:43,548 --> 01:36:44,882
Howard!
1629
01:36:45,758 --> 01:36:47,510
There goes Howard!
We've got to help Howard!
1630
01:36:47,593 --> 01:36:49,012
Phil! Go!
1631
01:36:49,095 --> 01:36:50,471
We've gotta help Howard!
1632
01:36:56,519 --> 01:37:03,318
Howard! Going somewhere, Howard?
1633
01:37:07,655 --> 01:37:10,825
There's no escape!
1634
01:37:10,908 --> 01:37:14,579
Philsie! Dr. Jenning! Mother!
1635
01:37:24,297 --> 01:37:25,983
Computer voice:
Do you wish to activate laser?
1636
01:37:26,007 --> 01:37:27,175
Yes!
1637
01:37:27,592 --> 01:37:28,718
Thank you, Dr. Jenning.
1638
01:37:28,801 --> 01:37:30,345
He started
the activation sequence!
1639
01:37:30,428 --> 01:37:32,889
Beverly: He's gonna
bring down more of them!
1640
01:37:32,972 --> 01:37:34,932
You may fire when ready.
1641
01:37:40,521 --> 01:37:42,482
Four minutes to arrival.
1642
01:37:52,408 --> 01:37:55,036
Philsie! Beverly!
1643
01:37:55,119 --> 01:37:57,747
Anybody! Help!
1644
01:37:57,830 --> 01:37:59,916
Computer voice: Three minutes,
20 seconds to arrival.
1645
01:37:59,999 --> 01:38:01,459
Howard! Here!
1646
01:38:03,336 --> 01:38:04,796
All right...
1647
01:38:05,338 --> 01:38:06,839
Sliced salami!
1648
01:38:08,007 --> 01:38:09,133
Howard: Yuck!
1649
01:38:13,471 --> 01:38:14,847
Lose something?
1650
01:38:17,892 --> 01:38:20,436
Computer voice: Alien
specimens will arrive in laboratory
1651
01:38:20,520 --> 01:38:22,146
in three minutes.
1652
01:38:25,775 --> 01:38:27,902
Howard!
1653
01:38:30,321 --> 01:38:31,656
All right!
1654
01:38:55,388 --> 01:38:57,974
Eat claw, duck!
1655
01:38:59,183 --> 01:39:01,352
Computer voice:
Two minutes to arrival.
1656
01:39:01,436 --> 01:39:04,856
Beh.buflon.tnggen
1657
01:39:17,702 --> 01:39:20,037
One minute,
30 seconds to arrival.
1658
01:39:20,121 --> 01:39:23,416
Puny little duck!
1659
01:39:45,062 --> 01:39:46,063
Yeah!
1660
01:39:47,690 --> 01:39:49,567
One minute to arrival.
1661
01:39:49,901 --> 01:39:51,068
Howard!
1662
01:39:54,238 --> 01:39:55,531
There's more coming down.
1663
01:40:00,119 --> 01:40:02,580
The machine, Howard!
You gotta destroy it! Blast it!
1664
01:40:02,663 --> 01:40:03,664
Get them!
1665
01:40:04,248 --> 01:40:05,291
No, Howard. Don't!
1666
01:40:06,876 --> 01:40:08,211
You'll never get home.
1667
01:40:08,294 --> 01:40:10,254
Computer voice:
30 seconds to arrival.
1668
01:40:10,963 --> 01:40:12,006
Get them!
1669
01:40:19,805 --> 01:40:21,557
Goodbye, duckworld.
1670
01:40:22,600 --> 01:40:24,602
Get out of there! Run!
1671
01:40:24,727 --> 01:40:27,188
Computer voice: Ten seconds
and counting to arrival.
1672
01:40:27,271 --> 01:40:28,314
Over here!
1673
01:40:28,397 --> 01:40:32,610
Nine, eight, seven, six,
1674
01:40:32,693 --> 01:40:38,449
five, four, three, two, one.
Arrival.
1675
01:41:14,735 --> 01:41:16,195
Phil: Howard!
1676
01:41:28,499 --> 01:41:30,126
Beverly: Oh, no.
1677
01:41:37,675 --> 01:41:40,011
I don't know where you are now,
1678
01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:43,848
butlhope you're happier there.
1679
01:41:49,020 --> 01:41:51,689
This world didn't
treat you very good.
1680
01:41:52,982 --> 01:41:55,359
But you saved it, didn't you?
1681
01:42:03,951 --> 01:42:05,244
Howard!
1682
01:42:07,371 --> 01:42:12,293
I am not Howard anymore.
1683
01:42:20,926 --> 01:42:25,473
Jeez! All this smoke.
Murder on the sinuses.
1684
01:42:29,310 --> 01:42:30,353
Fooled you, didn't I?
1685
01:42:33,397 --> 01:42:34,940
Howard.
1686
01:42:35,024 --> 01:42:36,901
It's all right, toots.
1687
01:42:49,789 --> 01:42:50,790
Well, all right!
1688
01:42:50,873 --> 01:42:54,085
I 'd like to dedicate this song
to our new manager!
1689
01:42:54,168 --> 01:42:55,503
Uh-huh!
1690
01:43:01,467 --> 01:43:03,719
Get that planet on the phone
1691
01:43:06,013 --> 01:43:07,473
ain't no time to waste
1692
01:43:10,476 --> 01:43:13,020
tell 'em he ain't coming home
1693
01:43:14,772 --> 01:43:16,565
donejoined the human race
1694
01:43:16,649 --> 01:43:19,318
they call him Howard the duck
1695
01:43:19,902 --> 01:43:21,362
no way to conceal it
1696
01:43:21,445 --> 01:43:25,908
with a feathered touch
I love him apart
1697
01:43:25,991 --> 01:43:28,703
they call him Howard the duck
1698
01:43:28,786 --> 01:43:30,663
if it ain't funk
he don't feel it
1699
01:43:30,746 --> 01:43:34,333
and he shot an arrow
straight to my heart
1700
01:43:35,960 --> 01:43:38,713
all right, ready mechanical.
We're gonna release the big huevo.
1701
01:43:38,796 --> 01:43:41,132
Cue egg, ready! Cue egg, go!
1702
01:43:42,299 --> 01:43:43,801
Saved the human race
1703
01:43:43,884 --> 01:43:45,136
they call him Howard the duck
1704
01:43:45,177 --> 01:43:46,887
yeah. Howard!
Howard! Help me out!
1705
01:43:46,971 --> 01:43:47,972
Release that rope there.
1706
01:43:48,055 --> 01:43:49,306
Gotcha.
1707
01:43:51,517 --> 01:43:52,601
Not that one!
1708
01:43:52,685 --> 01:43:57,231
Whoa! Philsie, what's going
on? Get me down from here!
1709
01:43:57,314 --> 01:43:59,734
I've done enough flying,
philsie!
1710
01:43:59,817 --> 01:44:01,610
Stole my heart
1711
01:44:05,531 --> 01:44:06,991
philsie!
1712
01:44:09,660 --> 01:44:11,580
Do you realize I could have
been killed up there?
1713
01:44:16,375 --> 01:44:17,418
What's this?
1714
01:44:17,501 --> 01:44:18,502
Rock 'n' roll!
1715
01:44:20,838 --> 01:44:21,922
Give me four!
1716
01:44:27,720 --> 01:44:29,889
Yeah!
1717
01:44:29,972 --> 01:44:31,474
Beak me, baby!
1718
01:44:33,684 --> 01:44:36,020
Quack! Is that
hot enough for you?
1719
01:44:41,192 --> 01:44:43,110
Howard the duck
1720
01:44:43,194 --> 01:44:45,863
if it ain't funk
he don't feel it
1721
01:44:48,991 --> 01:44:49,992
Howard: Bring it on home!
1722
01:44:50,075 --> 01:44:52,161
He's Howard the duck
1723
01:44:52,244 --> 01:44:54,455
ain't no way to conceal it
1724
01:44:56,540 --> 01:44:58,709
bit of purple haze for you all!
1725
01:45:01,545 --> 01:45:02,755
Yeah!
1726
01:45:20,105 --> 01:45:21,607
Do it!
1727
01:45:21,690 --> 01:45:24,109
He's called Howard the duck
1728
01:45:24,193 --> 01:45:26,111
if it isn't funk
he don't feel it
1729
01:45:26,195 --> 01:45:27,863
right! Yeah!
1730
01:45:31,116 --> 01:45:32,159
Howard the duck
1731
01:45:32,243 --> 01:45:33,327
that's me!
1732
01:45:33,410 --> 01:45:35,496
Ain't no way to conceal it
1733
01:45:35,579 --> 01:45:39,625
he shot an arrow
straight to my heart
1734
01:45:46,257 --> 01:45:48,527
Howard: Thank you! Thank you!
Crowd: Howard! Howard! Howard!
1735
01:45:48,551 --> 01:45:49,802
We love you!
1736
01:45:50,970 --> 01:45:51,971
Thank you!
1737
01:45:54,223 --> 01:45:55,599
We love you!
1738
01:46:00,604 --> 01:46:02,898
Not bad for a duck
from outer space.
1739
01:46:02,982 --> 01:46:05,067
You were great, ducky.
119422
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