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1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,966
[birds chirping]
2
00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:06,722
[relaxing music playing]
3
00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:21,961
- [knocks on door]
- [Alfie] Mummy?
4
00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:23,129
Not now, sweetie.
5
00:00:24,131 --> 00:00:27,555
Mummy's visualising
the downfall of her enemy.
6
00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:29,433
[heavy metal music playing]
7
00:00:30,812 --> 00:00:32,022
[exhales deeply]
8
00:00:34,903 --> 00:00:36,155
[exhales deeply]
9
00:00:45,299 --> 00:00:46,510
[music stops]
10
00:00:46,510 --> 00:00:48,597
["Outside Inside" playing]
11
00:00:51,477 --> 00:00:53,524
[sighs] Stupid little bastard almonds.
12
00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:55,945
They look fine to me.
13
00:00:55,945 --> 00:00:57,699
They have to be perfect.
14
00:00:57,699 --> 00:01:00,120
Nora has Jizzlord thinking
I'm some sort of chaos goblin,
15
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,502
so I have to pretend to be a polite
and well-adjusted young lady
16
00:01:03,502 --> 00:01:05,506
at her little fucker's
dumb shit birthday party.
17
00:01:05,506 --> 00:01:08,888
So, you're just gonna make sure
everyone has a lovely time then.
18
00:01:08,888 --> 00:01:11,225
Yeah. That'll fuckin' show her.
19
00:01:11,225 --> 00:01:14,733
[groans]
I hate sleeping in the bath again.
20
00:01:14,733 --> 00:01:16,444
[groaning, straining]
21
00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:21,287
Wait, why you sleeping in the bath?
22
00:01:21,287 --> 00:01:23,458
- [Clark laughs] No, she didn't.
- [Kash laughs] Yes, she did.
23
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,253
- [laughing] No.
- Yes, she did.
24
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,007
- [laughing]
- I swear to you. I swear to you.
25
00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:28,259
- Honest.
- [Clark] You're lying.
26
00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:30,430
- He's staying the night now?
- Carrie.
27
00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:32,560
Oh, God. No, no.
28
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,482
I-I didn't mean it, like,
he's staying the night now. Gross.
29
00:01:35,482 --> 00:01:38,572
Why would it be gross?
Is it because they're both boys?
30
00:01:38,572 --> 00:01:41,244
[stammers] No. No, no, no. That's, um...
31
00:01:41,954 --> 00:01:43,624
I love boys. And their boys in turn.
32
00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:46,003
I'm totally fine with this. Absolutely.
33
00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:49,594
I mean... [laughs]
...I channel gay people all the time.
34
00:01:51,305 --> 00:01:53,268
[sighs]
35
00:01:53,268 --> 00:01:55,397
Not that that means I couldn't be--
[gasps]
36
00:01:55,397 --> 00:01:59,948
Look, I think we could all self-examine
and find ways to prioritise respect.
37
00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:01,743
Hmm.
38
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,877
You're gays.
Do you know how to make macarons?
39
00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:06,962
Yeah. I do, actually.
40
00:02:06,962 --> 00:02:08,966
- [chuckles] Uh...
- [gasps]
41
00:02:08,966 --> 00:02:11,889
It's all about air.
42
00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:13,726
- Now, you're gonna whisk it up...
- Okay.
43
00:02:13,726 --> 00:02:15,521
...get those bubbles going.
44
00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,609
Can't believe Nora thinks
I'm holding you back.
45
00:02:17,609 --> 00:02:21,032
I'm a very good owner. I mean, girlfriend.
I've gotta stop saying that.
46
00:02:21,032 --> 00:02:23,954
I know. And Nora's gonna see that today.
47
00:02:23,954 --> 00:02:25,165
- I have a plan.
- Oh, yeah?
48
00:02:25,165 --> 00:02:27,461
- Yeah. So you know fire--
- We're not doing that.
49
00:02:27,461 --> 00:02:29,131
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
50
00:02:29,131 --> 00:02:31,469
- So, I set the house on fire...
- No.
51
00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:33,431
- ...then you swoop in and put it out...
- No.
52
00:02:33,431 --> 00:02:35,770
...then Nora has to accept you,
and we can live in harmony.
53
00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:39,401
Please do not set anything
on fire at this children's birthday party.
54
00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:41,239
So, what am I gonna do
with all this petrol?
55
00:02:41,865 --> 00:02:45,038
- I thought that was a gift.
- Exactly. No one will suspect a thing.
56
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,627
- [stammers] Give it to me.
- No, it'll work.
57
00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:51,259
Rob, Jen.
58
00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:54,306
So glad you could make it.
You've missed so many of these.
59
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,603
- Is that for Alfie?
- Yes.
60
00:02:57,104 --> 00:02:58,064
It's petrol.
61
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:04,326
- [chuckles]
- [Jen] Oh, I love the beige.
62
00:03:04,326 --> 00:03:05,997
- [Jizzlord] You hate beige.
- [Jen shushes]
63
00:03:06,582 --> 00:03:11,717
I got you crinkly paper, hair ties,
caps of bottles. Hours of fun.
64
00:03:11,717 --> 00:03:14,806
- You weren't at my other birthdays.
- I'm sorry.
65
00:03:14,806 --> 00:03:19,148
I ran away, abandoning you and your mother
for reasons I still don't understand.
66
00:03:19,148 --> 00:03:22,029
Mummy said you were a spy
and had to leave to help save the world.
67
00:03:23,489 --> 00:03:25,828
Oh. Right. Yeah.
68
00:03:25,828 --> 00:03:28,542
I forgot you can just lie to children.
Yeah, that's what happened.
69
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,297
All my other friends had their dads
at their birthdays.
70
00:03:31,297 --> 00:03:32,800
It made me sad.
71
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,347
No, no, no, no. Um, I'm here now,
72
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:38,604
and I'm not going anywhere,
and I can get you more gifts.
73
00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:40,733
- What'd you like to play with?
- Money.
74
00:03:41,818 --> 00:03:46,745
♪ Nonces, nonces ♪
75
00:03:46,745 --> 00:03:50,168
[sighs] Do you think nonces sounds better
in a C or a G?
76
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,089
Oh, F-sharp.
77
00:03:52,089 --> 00:03:54,009
You've only ever dated girls, right?
78
00:03:55,011 --> 00:03:56,013
Uh, yeah.
79
00:03:56,598 --> 00:03:57,600
It's just...
80
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,564
I'm going to a friend's party next week,
and I want you to come.
81
00:04:00,564 --> 00:04:04,698
But in the past
when I've started seeing someone like you,
82
00:04:04,698 --> 00:04:08,580
well, you don't know
if they're ready to make their debut.
83
00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:10,125
[chuckles]
84
00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:13,381
- Um...
- [gasps] No, it's fine.
85
00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:15,093
It's too soon. I'm jumping ahead.
86
00:04:15,093 --> 00:04:18,266
Chill out Clark, you bloody maniac.
Uh, I'll do a coffee run.
87
00:04:18,266 --> 00:04:20,395
- A piccolo. Oat Piccolo.
- No. No, no. No.
88
00:04:20,395 --> 00:04:21,898
- [breathing shakily]
- No, no--
89
00:04:21,898 --> 00:04:24,153
No. I really, really like this.
I just, um--
90
00:04:24,153 --> 00:04:26,575
Well, I guess
I can't picture what it looks like yet.
91
00:04:26,575 --> 00:04:29,496
Like us, uh, socially.
Like, what if everything's different?
92
00:04:29,496 --> 00:04:32,169
- Sorry. That's a stupid reason. I didn't--
- No, there's no rush.
93
00:04:32,169 --> 00:04:34,006
We can fly under the radar for a bit.
94
00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:36,052
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
95
00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:40,018
Hello!
96
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,982
["Young Hearts Run Free" playing]
97
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,819
Am I having an LGBTQ+ stroke?
98
00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:47,867
I just want you guys to be super,
super comfortable in this flat.
99
00:04:49,453 --> 00:04:52,794
[stammers]
I got some flavoured vodka, little flags.
100
00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:55,089
I baked some cookies
in the shape of Kim Petras.
101
00:04:56,885 --> 00:04:59,431
- Mini quiches.
- What's gay about mini quiches?
102
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:01,853
Oh, nothing. I-I just think they're fun.
103
00:05:01,853 --> 00:05:04,399
Ooh! I even got some poppers.
104
00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:06,237
[gasps] Oh, uh, that's not--
105
00:05:06,237 --> 00:05:08,491
Hmm. Okay. Thank you, Carrie.
106
00:05:08,491 --> 00:05:10,411
[doorbell buzzes]
107
00:05:12,499 --> 00:05:13,919
Yas!
108
00:05:13,919 --> 00:05:15,589
Oh, okay, great. Yeah. Come up.
109
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,179
- Who's that?
- Your vigilante friends. [chuckles]
110
00:05:19,179 --> 00:05:21,016
I thought I'd invite them over
to celebrate.
111
00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:22,812
[music fades]
112
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:26,235
You haven't told them?
[gasps] You haven't told them.
113
00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:28,072
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
114
00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:30,368
[music continues]
115
00:05:30,368 --> 00:05:31,955
[Carrie breathing heavily]
116
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,461
Oh, God, hide the poppers!
117
00:05:36,673 --> 00:05:38,384
[Kash] Okay, triage! What's gayest?
118
00:05:38,384 --> 00:05:39,679
[Carrie whimpers]
119
00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:42,309
[stammers] What's straight music? Polka?
120
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,896
[breathing heavily] Give me the phone!
121
00:05:44,647 --> 00:05:47,444
- ["Dancing In The Moonlight" playing]
- [Gregor] Randall 3D printed a key.
122
00:05:47,444 --> 00:05:49,991
- [Kash] Oh, so green.
- [Ade] Sorry for barging in.
123
00:05:49,991 --> 00:05:51,410
- Ooh. Hello!
- [Megan] Hi.
124
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:53,999
- [music continues]
- Oh, sick! This is my jam.
125
00:05:53,999 --> 00:05:56,128
- [chuckles]
- [Kash chuckles] Hello.
126
00:05:56,128 --> 00:05:58,550
- [Megan sighs]
- Hey, Kash. How are you doing?
127
00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,345
So, why exactly are we here, Kash?
128
00:06:00,345 --> 00:06:03,644
Yeah. Carrie said we should all come over
to "radiate love".
129
00:06:03,644 --> 00:06:07,735
Something about, uh, a cocoon
and a beautiful butterfly.
130
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,073
- It was pretty vague.
- [Kash breathes deeply]
131
00:06:10,073 --> 00:06:12,870
He's probably got some new pathetic
project he wants us to be a part of.
132
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:14,624
I only came over here to make fun of it.
133
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:16,962
Yes.
134
00:06:17,922 --> 00:06:22,890
I am writing a musical,
and I want all of you to star in it.
135
00:06:24,811 --> 00:06:25,813
Well then.
136
00:06:27,232 --> 00:06:29,612
I really like musicals, so I'm in.
137
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,490
It sounds really fun.
138
00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:33,035
Whoo!
139
00:06:33,829 --> 00:06:36,333
- [bicycle bell dinging]
- [child] Oh, can I just--
140
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,588
- [Alfie] This is my new bike.
- [child] Can I see the bell?
141
00:06:38,588 --> 00:06:40,383
[Alfie] No, don't touch it!
142
00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:41,594
- [kids chattering]
- Oh, Chris.
143
00:06:41,594 --> 00:06:43,097
- [shrieks]
- Oh, don't worry.
144
00:06:43,097 --> 00:06:45,226
- I'm not going to wrestle you again.
- Good. Yeah.
145
00:06:45,853 --> 00:06:47,397
- What are you doing here?
- Oh. [chuckles]
146
00:06:47,397 --> 00:06:50,111
Just dropped off the little soldier
his presents. It's nothing big.
147
00:06:50,111 --> 00:06:51,656
It's just a bike, a new tablet,
148
00:06:51,656 --> 00:06:54,912
and some saving bonds
for when he goes off to university.
149
00:06:54,912 --> 00:06:57,459
That's so nice. You're such a good friend.
150
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,964
Yeah, well... Been checking in on him
the last few years.
151
00:06:59,964 --> 00:07:01,091
Kid needs a dad, you know?
152
00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:04,849
It's about 12-and-a-half presents--
[chuckles]
153
00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:06,978
[Chris chuckles] Here he is!
154
00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:09,650
Hey! [grunts] Happy birthday, Son.
155
00:07:10,401 --> 00:07:12,072
I'm glad you're home, Daddy.
156
00:07:14,326 --> 00:07:15,328
[sighs]
157
00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:22,551
[guest] Ooh, what a lovely spread, Nora.
158
00:07:22,551 --> 00:07:23,845
Are those madeleines?
159
00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:25,849
- Yes. They're from the organic bakery...
- Ooh.
160
00:07:25,849 --> 00:07:27,520
...on Titheley Street.
161
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,397
Oh. Then not home-made?
162
00:07:30,358 --> 00:07:31,986
- No, but--
- [guest] It's just that, um,
163
00:07:31,986 --> 00:07:33,615
the shop-bought ones have
sulphites in them.
164
00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:36,370
Hmm. It's a shame.
165
00:07:36,996 --> 00:07:37,998
I made macarons.
166
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,794
- Ooh.
- They're home-made.
167
00:07:39,794 --> 00:07:42,591
[Nora]
No one wants your almond shit-cakes.
168
00:07:42,591 --> 00:07:44,762
- [smacks lips] Oh! They're amazing.
- Oh!
169
00:07:44,762 --> 00:07:46,348
- Mmm. So airy.
- [Nora] Mmm.
170
00:07:46,348 --> 00:07:48,895
- [Nora] They're delicious.
- They taste like a badger's arsehole.
171
00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:50,858
[Nora] Uh...
172
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,364
- [chuckling] So-- Sorry.
- [guest chuckles]
173
00:07:54,364 --> 00:07:55,868
Uh, I have a cold. [chuckles]
174
00:07:55,868 --> 00:07:58,999
- So my taste is off. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
175
00:07:59,584 --> 00:08:00,752
- [scoffs]
- [guest] Oh.
176
00:08:03,842 --> 00:08:06,054
- What are you doing?
- Just being nice.
177
00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:09,854
Hmm.
178
00:08:09,854 --> 00:08:11,315
[pop music playing]
179
00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:13,235
♪ I love it how you do that thing, yeah ♪
180
00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:15,949
♪ Show my how you do that thing
How you do that thing ♪
181
00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:17,578
Oops.
182
00:08:18,204 --> 00:08:19,582
Stop titting my macarons.
183
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,667
[groans]
184
00:08:21,753 --> 00:08:23,339
Come on.
185
00:08:23,339 --> 00:08:25,969
Yell at me. Make a scene.
186
00:08:25,969 --> 00:08:28,683
There is nothing that you can do
that will get under my skin, Nora.
187
00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:30,646
- I'm impenetrable.
- Hmm.
188
00:08:30,646 --> 00:08:32,190
Well, Rob seems to think so.
189
00:08:32,691 --> 00:08:34,444
♪ Make it boom, boom, boom
Till it pop ♪
190
00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:37,075
I'm right, aren't I?
You still haven't done it, right?
191
00:08:37,075 --> 00:08:40,456
Rob and I fucked on the first date.
Didn't even make it to the bed.
192
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:44,381
If I was you,
I'd be wondering if he even liked me.
193
00:08:44,381 --> 00:08:46,093
♪ You can get it if you got it ♪
194
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:50,351
[breathing heavily]
195
00:08:50,351 --> 00:08:51,436
[music stops]
196
00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:56,864
[clears throat]
197
00:08:58,702 --> 00:09:00,371
No! You're poor!
198
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,335
Hey, Jen! I've cracked the dad thing.
199
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:04,421
Alfie likes me,
200
00:09:04,421 --> 00:09:08,470
and I've got this feeling that if anyone
hurts him, I'll kill them with a hammer.
201
00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:09,682
So, it's all good.
202
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,061
That's great. We're having sex. Now.
203
00:09:12,061 --> 00:09:13,147
I'm on a roll today!
204
00:09:14,024 --> 00:09:17,906
It's a dramatic retelling
of our time as vigilantes.
205
00:09:17,906 --> 00:09:19,660
So you need someone to play the hero.
206
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:21,914
- I graciously accept.
- [Kash] No.
207
00:09:21,914 --> 00:09:24,754
I'll be playing the hero. It's important
to stay faithful to the true story.
208
00:09:24,754 --> 00:09:28,177
Right. So, does that mean
it will end with you running away
209
00:09:28,177 --> 00:09:30,181
- and getting dumped by your girlfriend?
- [chuckles]
210
00:09:30,181 --> 00:09:31,976
That's-- No.
211
00:09:31,976 --> 00:09:35,232
Um, well, no, obviously the artist has
to take some creative licence, right?
212
00:09:35,232 --> 00:09:36,611
- [phone buzzes]
- So...
213
00:09:36,611 --> 00:09:39,407
I have to shoot off, lads. I've got a gig.
214
00:09:39,407 --> 00:09:42,706
But as long as I can do the pyrotechnics,
I'm in.
215
00:09:42,706 --> 00:09:44,877
I've got a bunch of Semtex
I need to shift.
216
00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:46,338
I can't see why that would be a problem.
217
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:48,092
- See ya.
- See ya.
218
00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:49,344
Who would I play?
219
00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:51,599
You would play
the love interest of the hero.
220
00:09:51,599 --> 00:09:54,229
Surely Gregor would be playing
your love interest.
221
00:09:55,982 --> 00:09:57,443
- What, why?
- Uh, are we forgetting
222
00:09:57,443 --> 00:10:00,032
about the frankly electric sexual tension
between these two?
223
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,034
Mmm.
224
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,372
- Come on. It's classic enemies to lovers.
- Excuse me?
225
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:05,919
[gulps]
226
00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:07,881
Megan.
Could you come with me for a moment?
227
00:10:07,881 --> 00:10:09,259
- Why?
- Girl stuff.
228
00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:13,058
Yeah, but what kind of girl stuff?
Boys, pregnancy, fun shoes,
229
00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:15,647
endometriosis, pets, small ones--
230
00:10:16,231 --> 00:10:17,233
Okay.
231
00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:20,615
[inhales sharply]
232
00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:22,953
[stammers] I could play the love interest.
233
00:10:24,205 --> 00:10:25,917
[Jen] Just need a room.
234
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,088
[child stutters] I'm having a poo!
235
00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:32,723
[sighing]
236
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,564
I know this is a kid's birthday party,
237
00:10:36,564 --> 00:10:38,484
but how are there kids
literally everywhere?
238
00:10:38,484 --> 00:10:44,245
I will make this child disappear
using magic.
239
00:10:44,245 --> 00:10:46,876
- [crowd] Ooh!
- It's not magic.
240
00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:48,630
You can just teleport things.
241
00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:51,384
Uh, shut up. You're ruining it.
242
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,638
He can teleport people.
243
00:10:53,222 --> 00:10:56,311
Alakazoo, be rid of you!
244
00:10:56,311 --> 00:10:58,817
[crowd gasps, laughs, applauds]
245
00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:00,152
[crowd murmurs]
246
00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:02,616
To places without children in them.
247
00:11:04,035 --> 00:11:05,789
Hesto, presto, reappearo.
248
00:11:05,789 --> 00:11:07,041
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
249
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,460
[applauds]
250
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:09,964
[gasps, chuckles]
251
00:11:09,964 --> 00:11:11,926
Um, that-that's not my child.
252
00:11:11,926 --> 00:11:13,888
[child] Where did Tommy go?
253
00:11:13,888 --> 00:11:15,850
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it's not.
254
00:11:20,986 --> 00:11:23,490
- I knew it.
- He's not ready for everyone to know.
255
00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:26,121
He's currently convincing them
to star in a musical with him.
256
00:11:26,121 --> 00:11:28,375
So, I don't know
how much longer you expect
257
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,254
the gay cat to stay
in its fruity little bag.
258
00:11:31,172 --> 00:11:33,218
[sighs] I feel so bad.
259
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,431
I put him in this terrible position.
260
00:11:35,431 --> 00:11:38,395
I can only imagine
how much he must be struggling.
261
00:11:38,395 --> 00:11:39,857
♪ Bumhole ♪
262
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:43,071
- [on speaker] ♪ Bumhole ♪
- [all laughing]
263
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:47,246
[continues on speaker]
♪ Bumhole, bum-bum-bumhole ♪
264
00:11:47,246 --> 00:11:49,627
♪ Bumhole, bum-bum-bumhole ♪
265
00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:50,962
Wait.
266
00:11:50,962 --> 00:11:52,716
[Kash laughing]
267
00:11:52,716 --> 00:11:53,968
I've got an idea.
268
00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:57,976
Hey. Can you make two adults disappear
somewhere private
269
00:11:57,976 --> 00:12:01,274
for, I don't know,
like, six to nine minutes?
270
00:12:02,026 --> 00:12:03,195
Oh.
271
00:12:03,195 --> 00:12:05,282
I see. Nice.
272
00:12:05,282 --> 00:12:08,372
Ew! Just do it. I'll give you a tenner.
273
00:12:08,372 --> 00:12:09,457
[magician clears throat]
274
00:12:13,675 --> 00:12:15,720
[heavy metal music playing]
275
00:12:19,978 --> 00:12:21,398
[music stops]
276
00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:23,569
Kevin, is it?
277
00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:25,489
Let's have a chat.
278
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,296
It's so quiet.
279
00:12:33,798 --> 00:12:35,510
And child-free.
280
00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:36,762
And Carrie-free.
281
00:12:36,762 --> 00:12:37,931
And Kash-free.
282
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:44,235
[Kash laughing]
283
00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:46,699
[sighs]
It's my responsibility to fix this.
284
00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:50,330
[gasps]
Why are you skulking in the hallway?
285
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:53,128
We have to convince the guys
that Kash is totally straight.
286
00:12:53,128 --> 00:12:55,759
I could say that he fingered me.
Would that help?
287
00:12:56,802 --> 00:13:00,100
- No.
- But we could throw them off the scent.
288
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,311
Say that we're dating.
289
00:13:01,311 --> 00:13:04,025
Yeah. Yes.
290
00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:06,614
Duplicate Clark, you are a genius.
291
00:13:06,614 --> 00:13:08,033
[Carrie, Clark chuckle]
292
00:13:08,659 --> 00:13:09,703
[Megan exhales deeply]
293
00:13:09,703 --> 00:13:11,582
I'll say it anyway. Can't hurt.
294
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,251
- [farts]
- [all laughing]
295
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,005
[Kash] ♪ Bumhole, bumhole ♪
296
00:13:15,005 --> 00:13:16,926
[upbeat music playing]
297
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:19,681
♪ Bumhole, bumhole
Bumhole, bumhole ♪
298
00:13:21,059 --> 00:13:22,269
♪ Bumhole, bumhole ♪
299
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:23,731
- [coughs]
- [music stops]
300
00:13:23,731 --> 00:13:27,781
I know you've all noticed
the unbearable tension between us.
301
00:13:27,781 --> 00:13:29,993
And yes, mm-hmm.
302
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:32,122
The rumours are true.
Clark is my boyfriend.
303
00:13:33,835 --> 00:13:35,337
- Oh, no, no, no. It's fine.
- [Ade] Hmm.
304
00:13:35,337 --> 00:13:37,174
I told them already. They're chill.
305
00:13:37,174 --> 00:13:40,013
- [Ade] Mm-hmm.
- It actually made a really cool preset.
306
00:13:40,013 --> 00:13:42,268
[Kash] ♪ I'm dating a man
Bumhole ♪
307
00:13:42,268 --> 00:13:44,021
- [upbeat music playing]
- [all chuckling]
308
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:45,148
♪ Man
Bumhole, bumhole ♪
309
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:46,694
♪ Man ♪
310
00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:49,282
♪ Bumhole
I'm dating a man ♪
311
00:13:49,282 --> 00:13:51,871
- [party horn blowing]
- I thought I'd really, really messed up.
312
00:13:51,871 --> 00:13:53,875
- Are you sure that you're okay?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
313
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,129
- We're good. [chuckles]
- [Megan] I'm not really surprised.
314
00:13:56,129 --> 00:13:57,549
[Gregor] I mean, he's punching, but...
315
00:13:57,549 --> 00:13:59,051
[sighs]
316
00:14:00,095 --> 00:14:01,347
Okay. Time to re-merge.
317
00:14:02,893 --> 00:14:05,607
No. Maybe I want to date Carrie.
318
00:14:05,607 --> 00:14:06,984
- Huh?
- What?
319
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:10,617
I've never said anything, but Carrie's
given me the perfect opportunity.
320
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,453
I'm straight.
321
00:14:12,453 --> 00:14:13,581
[Ade gasps]
322
00:14:14,332 --> 00:14:15,500
[gasping]
323
00:14:17,797 --> 00:14:19,008
Kash fingered me.
324
00:14:21,179 --> 00:14:22,933
I can't believe it's taken us this long.
325
00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:25,228
It's finally just the two of us.
326
00:14:26,272 --> 00:14:27,817
- And sex.
- [chuckles]
327
00:14:27,817 --> 00:14:29,613
[sighs]
328
00:14:29,613 --> 00:14:31,324
[object thuds, rolls]
329
00:14:31,324 --> 00:14:33,746
- [Jen] What the fuck?
- [guest] Where did that bed come from?
330
00:14:33,746 --> 00:14:34,831
Oh, my God!
331
00:14:34,831 --> 00:14:36,084
[guest] Uh, um--
332
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,129
How could this possibly have happened?
333
00:14:38,129 --> 00:14:39,549
How inappropriate!
334
00:14:40,175 --> 00:14:42,514
I want to apologise for Jen's behaviour.
335
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,853
- Is that Daddy? What's Daddy doing?
- He's just having a little lie-down.
336
00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:48,859
[breathing heavily] I have tried
and tried to make this work,
337
00:14:48,859 --> 00:14:52,742
but I think Jen has just proven
what we've all been thinking.
338
00:14:53,451 --> 00:14:54,788
We can't coexist.
339
00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:58,128
- Rob, you're gonna have to choose.
- Choose what?
340
00:14:58,128 --> 00:14:59,965
- [Nora] Do the right thing and decide.
- [Chris] See that?
341
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,846
- It's me and Alfie...
- [Chris, Alfie speak indistinctly]
342
00:15:02,846 --> 00:15:06,060
- ...or Jen.
- Oh, finally. I'm so tired.
343
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:08,983
- Go on, Jizz. Tell her.
- Like he even has to think about it.
344
00:15:11,905 --> 00:15:13,116
I have to think about it.
345
00:15:13,116 --> 00:15:14,703
- What?
- What?
346
00:15:15,788 --> 00:15:17,207
[scoffs] I'm not straight.
347
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,546
Well, maybe, one in a million of you is.
348
00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:21,382
And he's in love with Carrie.
349
00:15:22,594 --> 00:15:23,804
Oh, God. Uh--
350
00:15:23,804 --> 00:15:26,225
[stammering] What do I, uh--
351
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,104
[stuttering]
352
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:32,488
If I date you, then you'll be--
But then you'll be s-- Clark.
353
00:15:33,239 --> 00:15:34,910
So sorry. Clarks. Sorry.
354
00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:38,124
Kash, oh, uh-- And I've already-- Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. [groans]
355
00:15:38,124 --> 00:15:41,297
Uh, someone tell me what to do.
Kash, what's best for you?
356
00:15:41,297 --> 00:15:45,556
Carrie, you are the least selfish person
I've ever met.
357
00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:48,186
- Thank you.
- That's not a compliment.
358
00:15:48,186 --> 00:15:49,815
- No.
- [Carrie] Oh.
359
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:51,568
You can't live your life for other people.
360
00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:53,446
I mean, everything you've done today
361
00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:55,868
is 'cause you were terrified
what someone else was gonna think.
362
00:15:56,578 --> 00:15:58,081
Got to be more selfish.
363
00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,835
Tell us how Carrie feels!
364
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:02,799
- About all of this.
- [Ade] Yeah.
365
00:16:02,799 --> 00:16:04,301
Why don't you take the mic?
366
00:16:05,053 --> 00:16:07,517
Use your voice. Live your truth.
367
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:13,779
Oh, no, wait--
368
00:16:13,779 --> 00:16:15,282
Don't-- Don't smell it.
369
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:22,212
[distorted] Honestly--
370
00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:25,427
- Ooh.
- Uh, sometimes it gets stuck like that.
371
00:16:25,427 --> 00:16:26,763
Just ignore it.
372
00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:29,268
[mic crackles]
373
00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:33,359
[sighs]
374
00:16:34,153 --> 00:16:35,238
[titters]
375
00:16:35,238 --> 00:16:38,871
[distorted] We broke up,
but we still live together.
376
00:16:38,871 --> 00:16:40,791
And work together, which I don't--
377
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,044
[both groan]
378
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,006
[distorted] I don't particularly love,
379
00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:50,060
and then I asked you
to set me up with my work crush.
380
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,897
And you end up dating him instead.
381
00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:53,233
- [gasps]
- [Megan] Hmm.
382
00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:55,821
- [distorted] And it's, like, hello!
- [Kash groans]
383
00:16:55,821 --> 00:16:59,746
[distorted] That's a bit effed up,
actually. And I'm not okay with it.
384
00:17:00,957 --> 00:17:02,167
Not because you're both boys,
385
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,338
- but because we've only just broken up...
- No, no.
386
00:17:04,338 --> 00:17:06,635
...and you're already getting serious
with someone else
387
00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:09,933
like we didn't even mean
anything to each other,
388
00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:13,106
like it's easy, and I don't like it.
389
00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:15,569
- I just-- I just don't like it.
- Yes.
390
00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:18,241
[distorted] And I want you to pay me back
for rent since we moved in.
391
00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:19,451
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
392
00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:21,497
That's enough for one day.
393
00:17:26,173 --> 00:17:28,136
Thank you. Thank you.
394
00:17:28,136 --> 00:17:29,263
- Whoo!
- [Carrie] Aw.
395
00:17:29,263 --> 00:17:31,810
Well, uh, do you want to go out?
396
00:17:33,606 --> 00:17:34,607
No.
397
00:17:36,319 --> 00:17:37,321
I'm sorry.
398
00:17:37,947 --> 00:17:39,283
I need to focus on myself.
399
00:17:39,868 --> 00:17:42,247
- [sighs]
- What are we gonna do with straight Clark?
400
00:17:42,247 --> 00:17:44,794
Oh, I'm not straight. No. Ew.
401
00:17:44,794 --> 00:17:47,299
I just wanted to go
to a nice restaurant or something.
402
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:51,516
You only ever get me to do chores
or take shifts or FaceTime Mum or--
403
00:17:51,516 --> 00:17:53,478
- Hey.
- [sighs]
404
00:17:53,979 --> 00:17:55,566
Drama queen. [chuckles]
405
00:17:55,566 --> 00:17:59,073
There's nothing to even think about.
Look, I'll make the decision for you.
406
00:17:59,073 --> 00:18:00,701
Me. There, done, now let's go.
407
00:18:01,369 --> 00:18:05,503
Look, if it was just you or Nora,
it'd be simple, but a kid needs their dad.
408
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:08,341
You do, and you're big.
409
00:18:10,136 --> 00:18:13,434
But I've blindly trusted you so far,
and it's worked out.
410
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:15,438
So, if you tell me to pick you, I will.
411
00:18:15,438 --> 00:18:16,983
- [sighs]
- You're a good owner.
412
00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:19,363
You're not my pet anymore.
413
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,576
It's up to you.
414
00:18:22,829 --> 00:18:25,041
- It's up to me.
- [scoffs]
415
00:18:25,751 --> 00:18:26,878
Oh, no. It's up to me.
416
00:18:26,878 --> 00:18:29,258
How do I decide? I can't decide.
Oh, it's too hard.
417
00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:31,178
I hate agency.
I don't want it. Take it back.
418
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,807
[Randall] Fucking free will.
419
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,853
- Does your nut in, doesn't it?
- What are you?
420
00:18:34,853 --> 00:18:36,439
[stammers] Human piñata.
421
00:18:37,274 --> 00:18:38,527
Kids love it.
422
00:18:38,527 --> 00:18:41,115
We're kind of in the middle
of a private conversation here.
423
00:18:41,115 --> 00:18:44,079
We had the same problem, me and the ex,
when we broke up a few years back.
424
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:46,292
We couldn't figure out
who should take the dog.
425
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,549
So we let the dog decide,
and, um... [inhales deeply]
426
00:18:49,549 --> 00:18:50,634
...they pick right.
427
00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,642
Animal instinct. Fucking infallible.
428
00:18:54,642 --> 00:18:56,145
["Get Loud" playing]
429
00:18:56,145 --> 00:18:57,230
[Randall sighs]
430
00:18:57,857 --> 00:19:00,863
♪ We got nothing to lose
We got nothing to lose ♪
431
00:19:00,863 --> 00:19:02,115
[music stops]
432
00:19:03,702 --> 00:19:06,373
[sighs] Whatever happens,
433
00:19:06,373 --> 00:19:09,213
I have to admit I've come to respect you
as a worthy adversary.
434
00:19:09,213 --> 00:19:10,298
- Really?
- No.
435
00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:11,635
The idea of being beaten by you
436
00:19:11,635 --> 00:19:13,806
is the most humiliating thing
I could imagine.
437
00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:18,439
- Psst, psst, psst. Psst, psst, psst.
- Hey, don't. That's cheating.
438
00:19:18,439 --> 00:19:22,113
- Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
- [stammers, babbling]
439
00:19:22,113 --> 00:19:25,370
Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
440
00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:29,838
- [babbling]
- Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
441
00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:38,647
[both babbling]
442
00:19:39,983 --> 00:19:41,611
[guests screaming]
443
00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:43,155
- [Jen, Jizzlord grunt]
- [guests gasp]
444
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:45,285
Jen?
445
00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:48,542
[baby crying]
446
00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:50,629
["How I Get Myself Killed" playing]
447
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,259
You're home.
448
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,715
[breathing heavily]
449
00:20:19,646 --> 00:20:24,614
♪ This is probably
How I get myself killed ♪
450
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,283
I know we don't have a session, but...
451
00:20:27,662 --> 00:20:28,955
Come in.
452
00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:32,672
[music continues]
453
00:20:34,676 --> 00:20:35,719
[sighs]
454
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:44,612
[door opens]
455
00:20:47,702 --> 00:20:49,789
[Alfie] Mummy doesn't like
that I'm ginger.
456
00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:52,252
She says it doesn't fit her "anaesthetic".
457
00:20:57,053 --> 00:20:58,472
[music fades]
458
00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:01,604
What's the point in doing the right thing
if you don't get rewarded for it?
459
00:21:01,604 --> 00:21:02,732
It's bullshit.
460
00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:07,407
The act of doing the right thing is,
in and of itself, the reward.
461
00:21:08,744 --> 00:21:11,791
No, I can't do it.
It is bullshit actually, isn't it?
462
00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:13,294
I really thought he'd pick me.
463
00:21:13,962 --> 00:21:16,091
[rain pattering]
464
00:21:17,636 --> 00:21:21,811
Can you imagine some really nice Scotch?
465
00:21:24,107 --> 00:21:26,654
- [kids] Harder! Harder!
- [grunting]
466
00:21:26,654 --> 00:21:28,324
- [kids] Harder!
- [grunts]
467
00:21:28,324 --> 00:21:30,913
[kids cheer]
468
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,087
Yeah, yay. [exhales deeply]
469
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:38,469
Cheer up, silly.
470
00:21:38,469 --> 00:21:40,891
- We're a family again. [chuckles]
- I miss Jen.
471
00:21:40,891 --> 00:21:42,686
If it helps,
we can pretend that she's died.
472
00:21:44,022 --> 00:21:47,947
[stammers] Sorry.
Um, you're very tall and shiny,
473
00:21:47,947 --> 00:21:50,536
but I don't really like anyone but Jen.
474
00:21:50,536 --> 00:21:53,123
[scoffs] Oh, he's joking.
475
00:21:53,123 --> 00:21:54,961
[chuckles] So cute.
476
00:21:54,961 --> 00:21:57,800
[Nora] You do like me.
You picked me because you like me.
477
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,179
Uh, okay.
Um, I wa-- I wasn't clear enough.
478
00:22:00,179 --> 00:22:01,473
I'm not attracted to you.
479
00:22:01,473 --> 00:22:03,770
[Nora] Oh, I think
he's just disorientated.
480
00:22:03,770 --> 00:22:05,106
Don't [bleep]ing embarrass me.
481
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:06,233
[guest gasps]
482
00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:09,574
Are you all right, Nora?
483
00:22:11,159 --> 00:22:13,497
Sorry. [laughs]
484
00:22:13,497 --> 00:22:15,334
I'm joking. [laughs]
485
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,007
We are such jokers. [chuckling]
486
00:22:19,635 --> 00:22:21,723
- I don't get it.
- [sighs]
487
00:22:21,723 --> 00:22:23,475
[soft piano music playing]
488
00:22:25,856 --> 00:22:29,070
[sighs] I actually needed this.
489
00:22:30,616 --> 00:22:32,828
[sighs] I spent most of the day
with this one client,
490
00:22:32,828 --> 00:22:35,499
the most boring man in the world.
I'm not shitting you.
491
00:22:35,499 --> 00:22:38,798
The inside of his head is a perfect
replica of the set of the Top Gear studio.
492
00:22:38,798 --> 00:22:42,263
[chuckles] At least not so messy though.
493
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:43,642
Oh, better messy than boring.
494
00:22:44,685 --> 00:22:47,273
[sighs] I think you're the first client
495
00:22:47,273 --> 00:22:49,486
I'd willingly spend time with
in the outside world.
496
00:22:51,574 --> 00:22:53,035
It's not that chaotic.
497
00:22:53,035 --> 00:22:55,624
Look, we're making progress.
498
00:23:00,383 --> 00:23:01,385
Here.
499
00:23:05,434 --> 00:23:06,813
Here's my personal number.
500
00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:11,029
If you ever wanna talk about anything,
just call me.
501
00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:15,496
- Probably just text.
- Jesus Christ.
502
00:23:15,496 --> 00:23:18,127
- Why can't you people speak on a phone?
- [chuckles]
503
00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:24,306
I'm-I'm confused. [stammers]
Are you two back together sexwise?
504
00:23:24,306 --> 00:23:25,474
- Yes.
- No. Huh?
505
00:23:26,268 --> 00:23:27,521
I'm only here for Alfie.
506
00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:30,234
- [stammers] A kid needs his dad.
- That's what I've always said.
507
00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:32,781
[Jizzlord] But I guess, when he's 18,
I can go back to Jen.
508
00:23:32,781 --> 00:23:35,579
- [high-pitched sound]
- He's seven now, so that's--
509
00:23:35,579 --> 00:23:36,664
[sound stops]
510
00:23:36,664 --> 00:23:37,916
Oh, no.
511
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:39,377
Shut up, Chris!
512
00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:40,421
[guest gasps]
513
00:23:40,421 --> 00:23:41,716
He didn't say anything.
514
00:23:41,716 --> 00:23:43,636
- We should tell him.
- [groans]
515
00:23:46,601 --> 00:23:48,938
The night you disappeared, you caught us.
516
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:51,026
- In your bed.
- [gasps]
517
00:23:52,153 --> 00:23:53,698
- [bleep]ing and [bleep]ing.
- [guests gasp]
518
00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:56,411
[stammering]
We thought that's why you left,
519
00:23:56,411 --> 00:23:59,794
but I-I-I guess
it must've, like, triggered your power.
520
00:24:00,378 --> 00:24:03,885
You didn't abandon anyone,
but you just... [breathes shakily]
521
00:24:03,885 --> 00:24:07,350
...you got cucked so hard,
you turned into a cat.
522
00:24:07,350 --> 00:24:10,189
[breathes shakily]
It's a tale as old as time.
523
00:24:10,941 --> 00:24:12,110
So Alfie is...
524
00:24:12,903 --> 00:24:14,155
not mine.
525
00:24:15,241 --> 00:24:16,493
[scoffs] He's lying.
526
00:24:16,493 --> 00:24:18,623
- [chuckles] Alfie isn't his--
- He is!
527
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,504
- Prove it.
- [stammers] You dye his hair!
528
00:24:22,088 --> 00:24:24,969
- You do. He's really ginger.
- That proves nothing.
529
00:24:24,969 --> 00:24:27,516
[chuckles] Chris isn't ginger.
530
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:30,814
- Aren't I?
- [guests gasp]
531
00:24:30,814 --> 00:24:32,233
[guest] Oh!
532
00:24:32,233 --> 00:24:33,402
[Chris breathes shakily]
533
00:24:34,655 --> 00:24:37,619
- [sighs]
- [Chris] I started dyeing it at uni
534
00:24:38,538 --> 00:24:40,917
so the horrific bullying would stop.
535
00:24:40,917 --> 00:24:42,295
[chuckles]
536
00:24:42,295 --> 00:24:44,967
[Nora] Silly boys. [gasps]
Let's do the cake!
537
00:24:46,386 --> 00:24:47,848
It's organic tonka bean!
538
00:24:47,848 --> 00:24:49,434
[guest] Does she know
his penis is still out?
539
00:24:49,434 --> 00:24:50,854
[Nora] Come on, everybody!
540
00:24:50,854 --> 00:24:56,364
Oh, what are you all looking at,
you gawking [bleep]?
541
00:24:56,364 --> 00:24:58,620
- [guests gasp]
- [Nora] Oh, no. She's not perfect.
542
00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:02,168
- [guest] Nora.
- She's not [bleep] perfect!
543
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:06,426
Well, no [bleep] you, [bleep]ing morons!
544
00:25:06,426 --> 00:25:07,763
You want madeleines?
545
00:25:07,763 --> 00:25:09,892
I'll give you [bleep] madeleines!
546
00:25:09,892 --> 00:25:10,894
[chuckles]
547
00:25:11,687 --> 00:25:13,691
- [guests screaming]
- [Chris] Whoa!
548
00:25:13,691 --> 00:25:15,402
[guests, Chris screaming]
549
00:25:16,697 --> 00:25:17,991
[Chris grunts]
550
00:25:17,991 --> 00:25:22,584
[sighs] I get up at 4:00 a.m.
551
00:25:23,210 --> 00:25:27,093
I haven't eaten sugar in 15 years,
552
00:25:27,093 --> 00:25:31,268
and this is the thanks I get?
553
00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:33,063
[guest] Oh, not the cake, Nora.
554
00:25:33,063 --> 00:25:34,148
[Nora moans]
555
00:25:34,148 --> 00:25:36,027
Oh, [bleep]ing Christ. That's good.
556
00:25:36,027 --> 00:25:39,450
[breathes shakily]
This, um, might be a lot to take in,
557
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:41,706
but I've wanted to tell you this
for so long.
558
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:43,584
Oh, my God.
559
00:25:44,962 --> 00:25:48,343
Oh, go on, judge me, you uptight [bleep].
560
00:25:48,343 --> 00:25:50,055
- [scoffs]
- I've always hated you.
561
00:25:50,055 --> 00:25:51,224
[guest] Nora...
562
00:25:51,224 --> 00:25:52,769
I've always hated all of you.
563
00:25:54,063 --> 00:25:55,525
I'm your real dad.
564
00:25:55,525 --> 00:25:58,823
- And I love you so, so much.
- [Nora] You can all suck my [bleep]!
565
00:25:59,490 --> 00:26:00,492
Get out.
566
00:26:01,328 --> 00:26:04,918
Get out of my house, [bleep].
567
00:26:04,918 --> 00:26:06,672
Get out!
568
00:26:06,672 --> 00:26:08,968
Do you have any games on your phone?
569
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:10,680
[Nora] Oh, go on. Take a picture, [bleep]!
570
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:11,974
I'll give you my best angle!
571
00:26:11,974 --> 00:26:14,563
- Yes. [sighs]
- [Nora] That's right. It's my [bleep]!
572
00:26:14,563 --> 00:26:15,648
Yeah.
573
00:26:18,905 --> 00:26:21,034
[Kash, Jizzlord, Carrie
babbling, speaking indistinctly]
574
00:26:21,034 --> 00:26:22,704
- [Kash] She's here.
- [Carrie] She's here.
575
00:26:22,704 --> 00:26:23,956
[all speaking indistinctly]
576
00:26:23,956 --> 00:26:26,336
- [Jizzlord] She's coming.
- [Kash, Carrie exclaim, giggle]
577
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,589
[Jizzlord] Jen, I'm free!
578
00:26:27,589 --> 00:26:29,092
- [cheers]
- The kid isn't his.
579
00:26:29,092 --> 00:26:31,304
My best friend
and my wife are having an affair,
580
00:26:31,304 --> 00:26:33,058
and I was deeply, deeply unhappy.
581
00:26:33,058 --> 00:26:34,477
Isn't that great?
582
00:26:34,477 --> 00:26:36,774
Now there's nothing
that can come between us.
583
00:26:38,569 --> 00:26:39,738
[breathes shakily] Oh.
584
00:26:40,447 --> 00:26:43,412
[chuckles, breathes shakily]
585
00:26:44,915 --> 00:26:46,167
What did you do?
586
00:26:51,679 --> 00:26:54,016
Is it normal that
when things go wrong in your life,
587
00:26:54,016 --> 00:26:55,979
you just wanna go all in
and ruin everything?
588
00:26:55,979 --> 00:26:57,941
[sighs] Pretty much.
589
00:26:57,941 --> 00:26:59,235
In for a penny. [scoffs]
590
00:26:59,235 --> 00:27:01,322
["Connection" playing]
591
00:27:10,215 --> 00:27:14,098
♪ Riding on any wave
That is the luck you crave ♪
592
00:27:14,098 --> 00:27:16,311
♪ They don't believe it now ♪
593
00:27:16,311 --> 00:27:17,396
[music stops]
594
00:27:19,150 --> 00:27:20,528
Mum?
595
00:27:22,031 --> 00:27:25,120
Can I go back to the party now?
596
00:27:25,955 --> 00:27:27,876
[music continues]
597
00:27:41,486 --> 00:27:45,410
♪ Riding on anything
Anything's good enough ♪
598
00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:49,252
♪ Who would've thought it of
Someone like you? ♪
599
00:27:49,252 --> 00:27:53,218
♪ Just as they brought me round
Now that they brought you down ♪
600
00:27:53,218 --> 00:27:57,226
♪ Roundabout and roundabout
Who wants a life anyway? ♪
45233
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