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1
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CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
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00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:04,920
HE GROANS
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,759
Sir, there's no room for our bags.
4
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,399
Someone has filled it up.
5
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,199
Don't look at me,
should have got here earlier.
6
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,879
That's the last of the
big bags, sir.
7
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,920
Do you want this hand luggage
on board with you? Obvs!
8
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,239
Why are you looking like a trapper?
9
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,159
Look, we're stepping off ends,
innit?
10
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,119
Man can't get caught slipping,
you feel me?
11
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,519
The only thing you'll get caught
slipping on is cow shit, bruv.
12
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,839
We're going to Pembrokeshire.
13
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,999
But, wait...
..where's Harrison?
14
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,199
Yeah, where's the brother at?
Where's he at?
15
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,199
I'm here.
Guys, I'm just wearing camo.
16
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,120
- Look, I'm here!
- CHUCKLES
17
00:00:42,123 --> 00:00:43,399
Guys!
18
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,959
Oh, God, I'm invisible.
19
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:50,039
Oh, babe,
the dress code was practical.
20
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,959
I'm practically perfect, Jinx.
21
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:56,039
But you best believe I am flossing
out of this school uniform.
22
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,879
Oi, oi!
Get one of these down your neck.
23
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,679
We should not be encouraging
underage drinking.
24
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,439
Good point. Part of the fun
is stealing the booze.
25
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,039
Oh, what's this?
I've left me beers unattended.
26
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,920
I'm not looking,
better not nick nothing!
27
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,359
For God's sake, if you want this
adventure weekend to be
28
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,399
the bollocks,
then you stick with me.
29
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,239
Ignore this wet wipe with
the stuffed cat.
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00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,038
Excuse me, it's not a stuffed cat!
31
00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:24,519
It's Magical Mr Mistoffelees,
from Cats!
32
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,679
Sir is very protective
of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Who?
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00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,719
The godfather of musical theatre -
Cats, Phantom of the Opera,
34
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,079
Jesus Christ Superstar.
35
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,879
And, according to the Mega Star
Quest celeb tracking app,
36
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Andrew Lloyd Webber lives right next
to the campsite.
37
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,079
Here is a map to the compound.
38
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,439
When we land, I'm going to pop over
and introduce him
39
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,879
to the star of his next musical
blockbuster - moi.
40
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,999
This is not some Search For The
Stars, or a poxy fashion show.
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00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,919
We know. It's a chance for inner
city kids, like me,
42
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,679
to learn new skills, develop team
building, and survive in the wild.
43
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:55,919
Eh-eh!
44
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,079
This is your opportunity to dive
headfirst into the three B's -
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00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,559
booze, banter, and birds.
46
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,039
Obviously, I'm only
here for the first two B's.
47
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,600
Oi, oi, oi! That's my lager,
you little prick!
48
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,199
Class F. F for fick!
49
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,919
Good luck, you lot, trying to get
a date to the disco with them
50
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,959
lot on the trip. The what?
The last night disco.
51
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,039
Basically, the Met Gala,
but for scrubby little kids.
52
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,119
Obviously, I didn't go.
Oh, because you were gay?
53
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,399
Because they were all clapped. Ahh.
54
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,879
Did you get a date, sir?
55
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,800
Me? To the...
56
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,199
Yeah, obviously.
57
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,119
Mate, I was the man back in the day.
I couldn't move for treacles.
58
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,679
Listen, I will teach you every trick
in the book, starting with Class F.
59
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,879
We need to show them
that we are the alphas,
60
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,439
so we need to sit
at the back of the bus.
61
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,039
I'm not sure Rosa Parks would agree.
62
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,399
Well, Rosa Parks didn't want to do
wanker signs at lorry drivers,
63
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,439
did she? Come on you lot, let's go.
64
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,079
Warren!
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00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,600
Yeah.
66
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,120
One coach trip and I've already been
asked to the disco by eight guys.
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00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,679
I said no, obviously.
68
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,559
Because of your faith.
Yes, Jinx, my faith.
69
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,959
My faith and the sheer audacity
of them thinking they can ask me.
70
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,479
Well, I don't actually want to get
asked. I find these antiquated
71
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,799
heteronormative dating rituals to
be quite...
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00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,719
Agh!
73
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,639
I don't think you've got to worry,
my love.
74
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,959
In that skirt, if you
look like a nun, you'll get none.
75
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,999
Sir, I... I need some advice.
76
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,039
The school disco's tomorrow night
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00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,400
and I wanted to ask a girl
to dance with me.
78
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,759
Oh, a...
79
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,520
Sorry, just a little bit...
80
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,239
Just a little bit shocked.
81
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,639
Um, I assumed you were
part of the LGTBQIA+ community.
82
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,679
Listen, I don't want to say
I understand your lifestyle,
83
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,760
but I want you to know
I support you.
84
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,039
Well, thank you,
but this was a bad idea.
85
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,879
I mean,
Usma's never going to go for me.
86
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,039
Usma and you? Yeah, exactly.
87
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,719
Oh sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
88
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,439
It's just, you know, obviously,
you're fab, it's just... Assemble!
89
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,599
What in the B.Tech Bear Grylls
is bumba gwaning?
90
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,439
Bet you've never such
a decorated Beaver!
91
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,559
Well, my missus
does like a vajazzle.
92
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,119
Why is there a gap?
93
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,158
Oh, well, most Beavers have a
hole or three.
94
00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:41,879
Erm, I'm only missing one badge.
95
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,199
Is that the friendship badge?
96
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,519
No, erm, I'm just missing a
hunting badge.
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00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,599
Apparently, wrestling the eggs
off a mother owl isn't good enough,
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00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,199
according to my power-mad
scout master. RIP.
99
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,239
I don't know how to
say this politely,
100
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,279
but what are you doing here?
Saving Abbey Grove.
101
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,519
Applications are down 200%.
102
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,519
Most of our students end up
unemployed, in prison,
103
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,079
or in the Army.
104
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,599
But now, the Army are questioning
the quality of our cannon fodder,
105
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,399
and if they stop hiring,
Abbey Grove is finished!
106
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,639
So, I am here to teach this rabble
some serious survival skills.
107
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,879
HYAH!
108
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,759
Ah, Mr Fraser! All set?
109
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,679
Holes dug, wells sunk,
110
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,679
traps - bear,
booby and otherwise - set.
111
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,919
I have thoroughly
Home Aloned these woods.
112
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:31,999
Translation?
113
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,319
Survival!
114
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,199
We only eat what I forage or kill.
115
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,959
Shrew? There is only one shrew, but
we could Lady And The Tramp it.
116
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,199
No, thank you.
117
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,759
If memory serves, I think
camp food is provided.
118
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,639
Ah, no, not the package I went for.
119
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,039
We've got no kitchen
and no toilet facilities.
120
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,839
What? I'll make Beavers out
of you yet.
121
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,759
Now...
122
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,319
..who's digging the latrines?
123
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,640
Ooh.
124
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,039
Any hole's a goal!
125
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,959
Hey-hey!
126
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,840
MUSIC: As It Was
by Harry Styles
127
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,679
♪ Holding me back
128
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,039
♪ Gravity's holding me back... ♪
129
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,999
SNIFFING
130
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,079
What's that smell?
131
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,079
Oh, I think it's nature.
132
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,919
But what do I know? I'm just your
classic inner city ruffian.
133
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,959
This is some horror
movie setting, man,
134
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,839
and ethnic minorities do not
do well in these situations.
135
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,279
Oggy, oggy, oggy!
136
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,279
Oi, oi, oi!
137
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,759
My name's David and I run this show.
138
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,799
Now, I should warn you,
I can be a bit of a joker!
139
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,079
Unless we're talking respecting
the Countryside Code.
140
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,919
I didn't know
we could talk like that.
141
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,359
We're all here to have a laugh,
142
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,239
but not at the expense of the
flora and fauna.
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00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,639
Unless you get the opportunity to
catch and kill,
144
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,119
in which case, seize it!
145
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,879
Well, no, that's actually a direct
contravention of the rules.
146
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,759
All right, well, kill or be killed.
Again, no.
147
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,279
One shot, one kill?
I'm ignoring you now.
148
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,839
So, first thing today is
the tug-of-war,
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00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,479
orienteering tomorrow,
then the disco.
150
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,919
But your first task
is setting up camp.
151
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,359
Now, I have a T-shirt to
distribute to each of you.
152
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,640
There you go! David?
You're an adult, mate.
153
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,999
♪ We had our first date
three weeks ago on Monday
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00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,759
♪ He took me out for dinner,
then he asked me back to his place
155
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,759
♪ Mate, he was like 6'8",
with huge arms and a fit face
156
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,119
♪ Then he opened up his mouth
and I was like, "What?! No way!"
157
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,199
♪ What you so boring for?
It's like talking to a door
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00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,799
♪ Swear I cannot be arsed
to do this... ♪
159
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,599
Oi, what is that?
160
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,839
That is my Technicolor Dreamcoat.
161
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,359
I've never played Joseph, actually.
162
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,799
But, hopefully, once I meet Andrew
Lloyd Webber, things will change.
163
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,239
Oi, sir, this tent is sick.
164
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,959
Glamping, my G! Flossing, in fact.
165
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,399
We are flamping!
166
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,399
We?
167
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,799
Uh-uh, this is all for me.
168
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,799
But we've been putting this
up for hours.
169
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,039
This whole trip is
about teamwork, yeah?
170
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,079
And I got you working.
You're welcome.
171
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,839
So, where are we going to sleep?
172
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,679
Back to your bed, bitch.
173
00:07:58,680 --> 00:07:59,999
First rule of camp.
174
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,159
Ha-ha, we've got nowhere to sleep.
Banter! Way-hey!
175
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,159
I'm off to meet Lord Lloyd Webber.
176
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,199
Erm, about this, I think it needs a
few finishing touches, my love.
177
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,799
Thank you.
Oh, and on the Usma disco situation,
178
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,920
we'll catch up about that later.
Ta-ta!
179
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,319
Excuse me, my love.
180
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,759
Stranger danger!
181
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,720
I'm so sorry,
I left my map in my tent.
182
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,119
Luke?
183
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,759
Lucas.
I changed it by deed poll.
184
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,158
Two syllables!
185
00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:38,959
And your name is? Steve?
186
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:43,399
Stephen, with a puh-huh-leeze!
187
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,599
Like you would forget my name!
188
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,679
You copied everything
I did at drama school.
189
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,279
Those days are over.
190
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,599
That cape is over.
191
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,839
It's for the centenary
of the century.
192
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,199
She shells sheashells on the
shea... What?
193
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:02,239
Lord Lloyd Webber's 100th
birthday weekend. Huh?
194
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,599
Not invited?
195
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,959
Of course I'm invited.
196
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,479
So, where's your costume?
197
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,399
We're dressing in his most iconic
looks all weekend, in his honour.
198
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,039
Oh, I know!
199
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,199
I didn't want to get my roller
blades dirty in this forest,
200
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,759
you know what I mean? Don't you
think that Starlight Express is,
201
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,119
like, totally underrated anyway?
202
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,959
Well, after you!
203
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,239
Surely you can find your way there
without your little map?
204
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,360
Of course!
205
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,879
Teasing! This way!
206
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:39,039
I was actually at Uncle Andrew's
last week with, you know,
207
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,719
the Charlotte Sisters
and Auntie Bonnie...
208
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,919
Argh!
209
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,280
Ah!
210
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,519
Oh, my God.
211
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,239
Lucas! Help! Help! Help me out!
212
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,439
And why would I do that?
213
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,039
Because we're friends.
Friends?
214
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,239
At the end-of-year show,
I fell off the stage,
215
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,959
and you didn't help me.
216
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,639
Don't laugh!
I'm not laughing!
217
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,759
I'm sorry you're going to miss
the big weekend.
218
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,639
I'll make sure to post
lots of photos on the Gram.
219
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,519
LUCAS LAUGHS
220
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,520
Lucas!
221
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,439
You bitch!
222
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,680
Ah, Lucas!
223
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,239
HE SOBS
224
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,479
Lucas!
225
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,279
Warren, you look
like death warmed up.
226
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,239
Stay hydrated. Have some water from
the well I dug.
227
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,080
Oh, maybe later.
228
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,279
I would not serve that to
my own worst enemy -
229
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,759
Gregg Wallace.
230
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,079
At least I won't have to go back to
the well and get more.
231
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,519
Remind me again why we're not
cutting through the whole rope.
232
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,839
We're going to let those Class F
tosspots think they're winning
233
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,079
when, actually,
they're hanging on by a thread.
234
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,799
The rope will break,
they'll fall on their arse
235
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,119
and look like a bunch of lemons.
236
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,479
Legend.
237
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,079
WHISTLE
238
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,999
Come on then, guys.
Tug-of-war time!
239
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,839
Let's get you into teams!
240
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,919
Come on.
Let's give it to 'em! Come on!
241
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,599
Gladiators, ready!
242
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,200
I'm joking.
243
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,839
Ready, set...
244
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,200
WHISTLE BLOWS
245
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,040
Come on, we got this.
246
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,999
CHANTING: Pull! Pull! Pull!
247
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,079
I'm going to break a nail, sir!
248
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,560
Hey, these man are wasteman anyway!
You're weak!
249
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,039
I'm tugging really hard!
250
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,240
Oh, I'm tugging so hard.
251
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,239
Hey!
252
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,319
GROANING
253
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,120
Oh, my bottom.
254
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,719
What are you lot doing down there?
255
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,119
Who's going to go to the disco with
me, covered in this?
256
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,639
Loads of people.
257
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,159
No-one fit, though, innit!
258
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,879
An incision in the rope,
made with a serrated blade,
259
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,799
probably a Swiss Army knife.
260
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,319
Who done that?
261
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,679
If you lot were in the Army, you'd
be court-martialled for cheating.
262
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,679
Report to the mess in five!
263
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,799
Brilliant.
264
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,319
OWLS HOOT
265
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,679
Court-martialled!
266
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,639
I've become the kind of person
my grandfather had shot in the war.
267
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,439
Yeah, well, you weren't meant
to fall too!
268
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,359
Well, take it up with
the basic laws of physics.
269
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,239
Yeah? Wait until you see Class F
fishing their clothes out the lake.
270
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,439
Come on, Harrison.
271
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,319
Wait, where's Mr Carmichael?
272
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,719
I'm in hell!
273
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,679
First Mitchell mocking my Dreamcoat
274
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:32,120
and then Lucas throwing me
in this pit to die!
275
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,880
Oh, my God.
276
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,720
Oh, my God.
277
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,240
I'm... I'm Joseph.
278
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,359
I'm Joseph and I don't even
have my Dreamcoat!
279
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,759
Help!
280
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,600
MITCHELL LAUGHS
281
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,239
Dickheads! Who do Class F think
they are?
282
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,199
No-one pisses in my bed but me, fam.
283
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,919
Oh, come on, it's just banter.
284
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,919
It's revenge for throwing
their clothes in the lake.
285
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,839
Ah, have they pissed in your beds
an' all?
286
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,479
No. Miss Hoburn talks in her sleep.
287
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,639
It's horrific.
288
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,519
One shot, one kill.
289
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,199
One shot, one kill.
290
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,319
One shot, one kill.
291
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,200
One shot... Argh!
292
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,439
Where is everybody?
293
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,319
We were going to ask Mr Carmichael
if we could stay here.
294
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,440
I assume he stayed at Andrew Lloyd
Webber's, so there's plenty of room.
295
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,159
It's OK,
I'll just stay in the chair.
296
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,399
I cannot breathe!
What is all this noise?
297
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,799
Miss, this is not
what it looks like.
298
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,000
What is going on?
Class F mugged us off.
299
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,239
Moves and countermoves.
The art of war.
300
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,479
Oh, impressive.
301
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,319
I didn't know anyone at Abbey Grove
read Sun Tzu.
302
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,519
Not since they stopped Page Three.
303
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,719
You're clearly
a cut above this dross.
304
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,239
Officer material, perhaps.
305
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,279
But, no, a bit too nervy.
306
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:05,239
Perhaps a spy? MI5, MI6,
both very reputable employers.
307
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,839
And, as luck would have it, I need
someone to sex-up a dossier for me.
308
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,239
Keep talking.
309
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,519
Well, if you compile a snazzy
brochure for the Army recruiters,
310
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,199
"Abbey Grove Survival Camp,"
311
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,439
I'll let you off the
orienteering course.
312
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,399
Oh, so a camp scrapbook?
313
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,239
But not all ribbony and glittery.
314
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,119
Oh, Miss Hoburn, I won't make
promises I can't keep.
315
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,839
Right. Who's coming back to
the bunkhouse?
316
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,879
Nah, I think I'll stay here,
take my chances.
317
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,479
Namaste.
And I'mma stay, too!
318
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:39,239
Hm, this feels like a hostile
occupation of foreign territory.
319
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,439
The Army would approve!
320
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,399
Night-night.
321
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,439
Right! Top and tailing?
322
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,799
Actually, I better sleep
with my arse out the flap.
323
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,599
I've got a massive shit
in the departure lounge.
324
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,040
Hello?!
325
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,520
Is anybody there, there, there...
326
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,479
No reverb!
327
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,839
No reverb! In a well!
328
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,480
BIRDSONG
329
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,439
KNOCK AT DOOR
330
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,439
Come in. Have yourself a pew there,
next to Doris.
331
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,959
Don't worry, she won't bite.
332
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,079
Not any more.
333
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,440
Not since I murdered her
and stuffed her in that box.
334
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,439
What can I do you for?
335
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,839
Well, I'm looking for old
photos of Abbey Grove trips.
336
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,359
Very few exist.
337
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,079
As Mr Carmichael's biographer,
338
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,759
I usually destroy any old
photos of him in hiking boots.
339
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,799
Old fancy pants in the rainbow tent?
340
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,119
Yeah, I've not seen hide nor
hair of him since he arrived.
341
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,839
He went to
Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's.
342
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,759
Oh, yeah, just over yonder.
343
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:40,439
His 100th birthday this weekend.
344
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,799
The village is buzzing.
The local GP's on hand.
345
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,999
All guests under 30 are being
asked to donate
346
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,759
a pint of their blood at the door.
347
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,640
He's very fond of blood, apparently.
348
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,280
Photos!
349
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,440
Thank you.
350
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,120
Not that one.
351
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,639
Probably best you don't tell anyone
you've seen that one, as well.
352
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,399
Good morning, guys. I just wanted...
353
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,839
WHISTLE
354
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:10,079
Gather round, please!
Come in, quickly!
355
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,839
Harper, you sabotaged the
tug-of-war, soiled the bunkhouse,
356
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,959
and taught your pupils
zero survival skills.
357
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,399
But, Miss, popularity is the best
type of survival skill.
358
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,279
Yeah, well, why did all my clothes
end up in the lake this morning?
359
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,079
Take it as a compliment, right?
360
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,239
It's because we're
the king of bants, innit? Yeah.
361
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,799
Well, you won't be very popular
362
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,879
when Class K don't make it
back for the disco.
363
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,079
ALL: What?
364
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,399
Yes, you heard me, Bant King.
365
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,159
The last team
back from orienteering
366
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,959
will not be allowed to
attend the disco tonight.
367
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,319
Maybe missing out on this
famous dance
368
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,599
will teach you to take
survival seriously.
369
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,479
Guys, it's important to remember,
370
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,279
the main thing about orienteering
is having...
371
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,680
SHRILL WHISTLE
372
00:16:52,681 --> 00:16:54,079
Disco or death!
373
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,839
Jeez.
374
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,919
Lads, don't worry,
all right? I've got this.
375
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,039
Sir! All this pengness is
going to go to waste.
376
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,559
No disco, no dates, nothing!
377
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,999
I'm going back to the tent.
378
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,680
And this is my last clean tracksuit!
379
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,200
You've ruined my life!
380
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,519
We go left round there.
381
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,799
Sir... Ooh.
382
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,078
..I get that you're
reliving your glory days,
383
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:30,239
but we have learnt approximately
zero survival skills this weekend.
384
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,279
Yeah. If we want to go to the disco,
we have to get creative.
385
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,159
Oh, I couldn't agree more.
386
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,879
Now, according to this map,
387
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,839
we can take a shortcut across
Andrew Lloyd Webber's compound.
388
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,999
This will mean that we'll finish
the orienteering course
389
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,399
in half the time.
390
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,079
I mean, ladies and gentlemen, we
shall be going to the dance tonight.
391
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,199
HE HUMS A HAPPY TUNE
392
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,719
Yeah, look, I kind of
feel like this sort of
393
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,439
might be an incy-wincy
bit my fault.
394
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,999
So, I'm going to make it up to you.
395
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,999
I am putting on my big-boy pants.
396
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,319
Warren, give me the map! What?
397
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,879
Warren, I am your teacher.
Give me the map.
398
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,080
Thank you.
399
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,400
Right. Follow me, pricks!
400
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,839
I think we should be going that way.
401
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,920
Oh, yes, there she goes.
402
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,079
CHUCKLING: I needed that.
403
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,079
I am sleeping inside the tent
tonight, baby.
404
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,399
That's ten minutes we'll never
get back.
405
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,519
Jinx, we're close, all right?
I can feel it.
406
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,439
Feel it? Where's the map?
407
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,079
Well, my arse wasn't going to
wipe itself.
408
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,719
Yeah? We would have been quicker
doing the actual task.
409
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,239
Blessing, trust me.
410
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,759
Remember, I've been here before.
411
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,839
I know these woods
like the back of my...
412
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,239
Ooh, Jinx, look at this minging
mole on the back of my hand.
413
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,999
Do you reckon I need
to get it checked out?
414
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,160
JINX RETCHES
415
00:18:45,161 --> 00:18:46,319
We're lost.
416
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,039
This is a disaster.
All thanks to Mr Harper!
417
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,799
Well, at least I'm trying to help,
unlike Mr Carmichael.
418
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,479
Well, at least his map was useful.
419
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,679
Until you turned
it into toilet paper!
420
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,679
I bet all the girls are already
at the disco,
421
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,199
dancing with some next man, fam.
422
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,119
Sir, think about the last
time you were here.
423
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,519
Do you recognise anything?
424
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,639
Right, well, erm...
There was no last time.
425
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,639
I had my suspicions,
but this photo confirmed it.
426
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,199
Look. An old shot of Class K.
427
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,919
And who's not in it?
428
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,680
You didn't go?
429
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,319
Well, what about the stories?
430
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,279
And the bants?
431
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,760
You were my hero.
432
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,999
Well, I just feel so...
What's the word?
433
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,639
Stupid.
434
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,479
Harrison.
435
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,719
Harrison, wait!
436
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,200
Wait a minute!
437
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,559
So, we're going to miss the disco?
438
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,799
I mean, who wants to go
to that meat market
439
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,639
with all the Normative Normans?
440
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,279
Me, actually.
441
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,479
No, no,
we can still complete the course.
442
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,240
I have to try and get us
to that disco, for morale.
443
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,920
Really, really strange.
444
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,039
RUSTLING
445
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,319
What was that?
I thought it was you.
446
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,919
It was probably just Mr Fraser.
Shh!
447
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,519
Listen.
448
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,799
Ooh, I am listening.
449
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,279
I'm always open to hearing
about your lived experience.
450
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,480
BLESSING SCOFFS
451
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,280
Wait.
452
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,159
Is that...
453
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,159
Is that...
A bear?
454
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,760
THEY WHIMPER
455
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,719
THEY SCREAM
456
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,559
Where have you been?
Get back to camp!
457
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,359
B-b-buh, b-b-buh...
458
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,799
Is she broken?
459
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,479
Bear!
Bare broken? Oh, I see, yes.
460
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,999
No, I'm up on my urban dictionary!
461
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,239
Bare, as in large amount/level of.
462
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,799
No, there's an actual
bear in the forest!
463
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,999
It's armed, it's dangerous,
it's going to attack us.
464
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,279
It's going to eat us alive!
You need to relax, Karen!
465
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,159
Hunting badge, here I come!
466
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,160
Yes, always carry a blowpipe.
467
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,039
And, don't even
think about going to the disco.
468
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,440
You're not allowed.
469
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,760
Urgh!
470
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,359
Oh, Luke?
471
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,559
Watford School of Drama, 2015.
472
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,999
Lucas.
473
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,679
I'm Stephen Carmichael's assistant,
and biographer.
474
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,479
Biographer?
475
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:20,079
Oh, I bet there are several chapters
dedicated to our rivalry.
476
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,399
Oh, no, just a footnote
dedicated to haters.
477
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,479
Meow. Purr.
478
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,719
Well, water under the bridge.
479
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,039
Though I did see Steve yesterday.
"Steve"?
480
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,679
He was in very deep water.
481
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,039
You're using a lot of
water metaphors.
482
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:42,319
Let's just say, he's finally playing
the role he was born to play.
483
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,839
Joseph! In the well?
484
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,720
Fraser's well!
That's where he's been.
485
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,800
Strange boy.
Mr Carmichael!
486
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,320
YAA!
487
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,839
Mr Fraser, I almost took you
out with my tranq dart.
488
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,479
I admire your confidence, madam.
489
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,399
You may well have blown
the dart in my direction,
490
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,199
but that does not
mean it would have hit me.
491
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,879
Thanks to.... HYARGH!
492
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,199
A heady cocktail of Krav Maga,
Capoeira, Tai Chi and Aikido.
493
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,760
I call it...
494
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,999
Krapoerchido!
495
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,119
Well, your Starbucks order aside,
I need your help.
496
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,599
What have you
got in your wooden house?
497
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,560
We need to set a trap.
498
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,719
And you're sure this can work?
499
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,119
Bernadette, I don't mean to
chefsplain,
500
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:47,039
but if you go down to the woods
today, or indeed any day,
501
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:51,679
you will not be surprised to learn
that bears love a picnic.
502
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,959
Shh! I can hear the bear.
503
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,360
Positions.
504
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,720
ANIMAL CALL: Aa-aah! Aa-aah!
505
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,079
Dammit!
506
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,520
Hngeeee...
507
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,999
Yes!
508
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,040
Let's get you back to camp.
509
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,159
Sir!
510
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,479
Warren!
I've been looking for you all day.
511
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,279
I'm so happy to see you.
512
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,839
You didn't say anything weird to
Usma, did you?
513
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,359
No, I didn't. OK, good.
514
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,799
Get me out. OK. Erm...
515
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,599
Please tell me you brought a rope!
516
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,399
Ah, allow it, man!
517
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,759
It's dead anyway.
518
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:03,279
Guys, listen,
I'm really sorry that I lied to you.
519
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,919
The truth is, all my friends got to
go on this trip and I didn't.
520
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,999
I was desperate to,
but my dad lost the trip money,
521
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,079
spoofing for a round of drinks.
522
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,839
I guess I was just trying to
recreate something I never had.
523
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,799
Harrison, you need to choose
your heroes more carefully, mate.
524
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,959
You're still my hero, sir.
525
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,519
Cheers.
526
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,559
Here, look,
I found this in the clubhouse.
527
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,119
I know it's ancient, but I thought
you could use it for your disco.
528
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,959
Uh, what is that? What is...?
529
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,439
Usma, this is a CD player.
530
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,159
Here, look.
I found some old CDs, too.
531
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,319
Bloody hell.
532
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,319
What happened to you?
Don't ask.
533
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,879
But I'm glad we're back,
thanks to Warren.
534
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,559
Oh, Warren! You never gave up.
535
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,639
That's why we love you, Warren.
536
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,439
Right, come on you lot,
it's disco time.
537
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,999
Here, Blessing, pass that CD.
538
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,719
Yes, this is a belter!
539
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,160
Thanks, Warren.
540
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,199
Remember, you never give up.
541
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,400
INDISTINCT CHATTER
542
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,200
Erm, Usma, I...
543
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:19,439
Usma, I consider you a dear
friend but, erm, well,
544
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,359
I have to tell you that I think
you're completely luminescent.
545
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:27,399
And not just in your dazzlingly
impractical tracksuit.
546
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,839
I feel delighted when I look at you,
547
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,159
and I...
548
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,719
Well, I would be honoured
if you would dance with me.
549
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,119
Finally!
550
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:42,239
Someone who's coming correct
and putting some respec' on my name.
551
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,759
Great, cool.
552
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,679
That's totally cool.
553
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,200
Totally cool.
554
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,360
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
555
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,119
Yo, Jinx.
556
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:59,639
Like, I know dances are
Antiques Roadshow and that,
557
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,679
but would you, you know, like,
maybe want to dance with me?
558
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,799
Well, antiquated heteronormative
rituals but, yes, very much yes.
559
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,559
No, I really would, yes, yes.
Cool.
560
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,559
May I? Come here, pretty boy.
561
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,919
You'll do.
562
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,599
You think I'm pretty?
563
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,079
So are you.
564
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,679
Well, that was easy!
565
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,959
Wait, what?
Getting a girlfriend.
566
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,559
Oh, Harry,
you thought I was into boys?
567
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,679
Wait, you're into girls?
568
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,839
Oh, my God, it's so crazy.
569
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,399
We've got so much in common.
570
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,599
I mean, we never did get to
have our dance at the disco.
571
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,399
I feel like we should fix that.
572
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,520
Let's do it!
573
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,519
Hang on, you knew I never went on
this trip in the first place.
574
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,119
How come you didn't dob me
in to that lot?
575
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,599
I mean,
your dad ruined all of your fun,
576
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,760
I was not going to do
the same to you.
577
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,479
Ooh, speaking of fun,
how was Lordy Lord Webby's?
578
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,080
The pits! Chill.
579
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,359
I like your buns.
580
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,119
I mean your, your...
581
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:09,999
On your head.
582
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,359
Oh, flip, man.
583
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,800
Goddamn.
584
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,399
Pizza and beer
for my favourite class.
585
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,199
Oh, go on, I'm not looking,
better not take any!
586
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,039
What are you doing? Well,
this is my way of saying thank you.
587
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,679
I finally have my hunting badge,
588
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,559
thanks to your tip-off
about that bear.
589
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,199
What bear?
590
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,639
Well, the bear I tranqued
and dragged back here.
591
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,480
SCREAMING
592
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,679
What did you do to Lucas?
593
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,799
Stop it! Stop it! Come here!
594
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,160
Come here!
595
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,160
GASPS
596
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:50,799
WHISTLE BLOWS
597
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,639
Who's Lucas?
Call the bloody police!
598
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,319
♪ Caught in the light
599
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,159
♪ Like a sun to the ocean
600
00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:59,679
♪ Born in the night
601
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,680
♪ In an orderly fashion... ♪
602
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,159
Right,
all the students accounted for.
603
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,839
Just Fraser missing.
604
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,040
Win-win.
605
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,959
Jesus Christ!
606
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,239
Oh, shame.
607
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,879
What happened to you?
The strangest thing happened.
608
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,479
One minute I was helping set
a trap for a bear, the next minute,
609
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,159
I woke up in a four-poster
bed in a desecrated chapel
610
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,799
next to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.
611
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,119
Shut up! I knew you wouldn't
believe me.
612
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,119
So, after he asked me
to donate some blood,
613
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,720
I took a selfie in the mirror
with him. Look!
614
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,519
Where's Andrew? Weird.
615
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,440
He was definitely there.
616
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,999
THEY SHUDDER
617
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,240
No...
74325
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