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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,897 < In the beginning God created the heaven... 4 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:23,494 ... and he said: "Let there be light". 5 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,610 < And there was light. 6 00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:39,896 < Then the Lord created the earth and saw that it was good. 7 00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:48,459 < He created the seas and oceans... 8 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,417 ... and populated them with fish. 9 00:01:53,255 --> 00:01:58,414 < He separated the earth from the sky and saw that it was good. 10 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:04,978 < So he went on to create his masterpiece... 11 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,858 ... Man. 12 00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:56,376 Thank you for creating me in your image and likeness. 13 00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:02,690 < The Lord almighty had noticed that his creature... 14 00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:05,374 ... hadn't come out that well. 15 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:09,374 < He chalked it up to fatigue and decided to try again... 16 00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:11,451 ... after a day of rest. 17 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:18,973 < The second attempt was indeed a perfect success... 18 00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:22,655 ... and he noticed a big difference. 19 00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:27,052 < For the newcomer, the Lord created a paradise on earth... 20 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,734 ... and gave him a mate. 21 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,218 But... 22 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:49,938 ...a... 23 00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:53,739 < (God) Yes, All right. 24 00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:55,891 Ah! 25 00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:05,739 Excuse me, did you take one of these things from me? 26 00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:09,575 < (God) To make a woman for you too. Turn around! 27 00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:11,173 < She's yours. 28 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:31,573 Ah! 29 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:44,451 < Except for picking fruit from the forbidden tree... 30 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:48,056 ... the Lord had given man all freedoms... 31 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:51,178 ... even that of giving names to the things of creation. 32 00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:53,217 Flo... wers. 33 00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:55,291 Flo... wers. 34 00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:04,138 Flo... flowers. 35 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,735 Straw... ber... ries. 36 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,098 Watch out! 37 00:05:35,740 --> 00:05:37,731 Shit. 38 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,532 Shit. 39 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,976 Fantozzi. 40 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:46,939 Excuse me... Why? 41 00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:51,092 Shit... Fantozzi. 42 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:31,214 He... 43 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,450 Small! 44 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:43,051 < By now, what was done was done. 45 00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:47,498 < If he was ashamed, he could cover himself with a leaf... 46 00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:50,537 ... a Cactus leaf! 47 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:54,018 See you later. 48 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,534 Ah-ah! 49 00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:55,179 The apple. 50 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:10,972 < (God) Fantozzi! 51 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,017 < You disobeyed! 52 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:18,300 < There is no more room for you in the Earthly Paradise! 53 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:20,451 Holy fucking Eve! 54 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:27,698 < Thus came the first eviction in the history of the world. 55 00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:37,490 Excuse me, Excellency, but don't they...? 56 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,976 < (God) No, they are different. 57 00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:45,691 < You will work with the sweat of your brow for them too. 58 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:47,691 < For eternity! 59 00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:50,533 < Now out! Go! 60 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:53,134 Very humane-- Very divine of you... 61 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:56,133 - Excuse me. < Go and multiply... 62 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,257 ...as little as possible. 63 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,013 Why? 64 00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,977 ...Uck you! 65 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:17,610 < Realizing that he is a thinking animal... 66 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:21,056 ... he tried to make improvements to that hellish life... 67 00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:23,780 ... for himself and his neighbor. 68 00:11:14,395 --> 00:11:16,272 Hup! Hup! 69 00:12:48,256 --> 00:12:53,854 < And with the passing of time things got worse for Fantozzi. 70 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:57,179 - Ugo! - Dad! 71 00:12:57,492 --> 00:12:59,449 Ugo! 72 00:12:59,532 --> 00:13:01,170 Dad! 73 00:13:01,252 --> 00:13:03,209 Ugo! 74 00:13:04,638 --> 00:13:06,515 Where are you, dad? 75 00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:09,361 - Ugo! - Where are you? 76 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,159 - Dad! - There he is, Mariangela! 77 00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:17,120 - Who is it? - It's me, your Pina. 78 00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:19,360 - And this? - Don't you remember? 79 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,400 I'm a bit dazed. 80 00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:25,721 I had a revolting morning. 81 00:13:25,810 --> 00:13:28,404 15,000 people beat me up. 82 00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:31,767 - They were Persians. - Don't think about it. 83 00:13:31,850 --> 00:13:33,921 - It's all over now. - All of it? 84 00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:36,001 - Let's go home. - Are you sure? 85 00:13:36,096 --> 00:13:38,929 - Let's go home. - On foot? - Yes! 86 00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:42,560 I can hardly walk. 87 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:45,005 I'll take care of it, I'll hold you. 88 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,525 Give me your paw... 89 00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:50,329 ... your hand. 90 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,003 Give me. 91 00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:55,400 Lean on me. 92 00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:57,367 - Hey, hey! - Is that good? 93 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:08,729 < That day Fantozzi finally received from his superiors... 94 00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:12,644 ... a job of trust and great satisfaction. 95 00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:17,645 - You are a volunteer! - Volunteer? Well... 96 00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:20,961 - Run to Athens and say the battle of Marathon is won. - I'm Sorry... 97 00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:24,600 - But it's 42 kilometers. - And 195 meters. 98 00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:29,048 Then it's different. 99 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,928 - Go! < I'm going! 100 00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,323 Who is it? 101 00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:36,960 - Aren't you going to give the baby a kiss? - A kiss for the baby... 102 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:41,009 I'll do it later. 103 00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:44,365 I'll explain later. Have mercy. 104 00:14:46,890 --> 00:14:48,961 Don't run dad, huh? 105 00:15:22,490 --> 00:15:24,527 More, more! 106 00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:29,042 Water! 107 00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:31,647 Water! 108 00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:33,528 Water! 109 00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,848 Yahoo! 110 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,046 Water! 111 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,446 Who is it? Who rang? 112 00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:01,123 Athens! 113 00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:07,920 Oh, Zeus! 114 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,126 A chariot! I'm safe! 115 00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:12,963 - Excuse me, out of pity... - Yes? 116 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:15,724 - Are you going to Athens? - No, I'm sorry. 117 00:16:15,810 --> 00:16:19,804 - Why, are you going to Athens? - Yes, why? 118 00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:22,643 Then do me a courtesy. 119 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:26,724 Since you're going there, take this chapiter to the senate. 120 00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:29,484 - No! - Be quick! 121 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,322 How humane of you! 122 00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:38,168 - The walls of Athens? - Right in front of you. - Thanks. 123 00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:07,319 Oh, mom! Oh, Zeus! 124 00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:10,482 For Artemis, have mercy! 125 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,959 - Have pity... - No, stop! 126 00:17:13,050 --> 00:17:17,647 - Don't help him, or he's disqualified. - What the hell are you talking about? 127 00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:27,923 Minus twenty. 128 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,243 Minus ten. 129 00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:34,207 Minus four. 130 00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:36,281 Minus one... 131 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:42,605 - Speak! - Have pity, one moment. 132 00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:48,800 I bring news from Marathon. 133 00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:51,006 - What happened? - Where? 134 00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:53,604 < In Marathon! - So... 135 00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:58,523 - I don't remember anymore. - How can you not remember! 136 00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:02,046 It slipped my mind... 137 00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:05,320 - He doesn't remember anymore. - We won? 138 00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,287 Who? 139 00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:10,840 No, yes, no... that is, yes. 140 00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:13,604 - No, "nes". - Have we lost? 141 00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,447 Yes and no... yes! No! 142 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,840 Here, it occurred to me! 143 00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:22,285 We tied. 1 to 1. 144 00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:25,123 - Tied? - What is he talking about? 145 00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:27,520 Guards, arrest him! 146 00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:31,399 No, have pity, I'll make you a proposal. 147 00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:37,247 I'll run to Marathon, 42 kilometers and 195 meters. 148 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,925 I'll inform myself better, maybe write it on a wax tablet... 149 00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:44,287 ... and I'll come back with the correct news. 150 00:18:44,370 --> 00:18:45,804 Go! 151 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,279 < Who is it? - SPQR. 152 00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:18,328 Tax Office for the Roman Provinces. 153 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:20,968 Open up! 154 00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:28,081 Good morning, young man. 155 00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:32,050 - My husband isn't here! - Enough talk, Jew! 156 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:36,522 - Give to Caesar what is Caesar's. - This is mine... 157 00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:40,784 ... not Caesar's, whom I don't have the pleasure of knowing. 158 00:19:40,865 --> 00:19:44,208 - How much does he want? - It's in proportion of what you own. 159 00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:46,327 I have nothing... Wait! 160 00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:48,208 Here you go, I have this. 161 00:19:49,050 --> 00:19:53,647 Say hello to this greedy Mr. Caesar for me. 162 00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:55,801 You're so humane, Praetorian. 163 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,767 Very humane, you know? 164 00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:01,245 < he Only owned that hut... 165 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:06,450 ... and the small field next to it, by the lake of Tiberias. 166 00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,248 Here, slowly! 167 00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:12,606 Here, you stay put right here. 168 00:20:12,690 --> 00:20:16,479 - Just like this. - What should I do? 169 00:20:16,570 --> 00:20:19,449 Nothing, stay normal. 170 00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:22,488 You're a scarecrow. 171 00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:25,130 You do it pretty well. 172 00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:28,123 - Ugo, come on! - Pina, come on! 173 00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,850 Here we go. 174 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:35,121 Ready? Come on, Pina! 175 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:40,004 < The exorbitant taxes for the Roman invaderss... 176 00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:43,208 ... the famines, the magpies that pecked their seeds... 177 00:20:43,290 --> 00:20:45,964 ... and the damn kids from the school next door... 178 00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:49,168 ... the Fantozzis were having a really hard time. 179 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:51,969 Come on Pina we can do it! 180 00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:57,208 < But rumor was it that someone had arrived... 181 00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,248 ... who would finally fix things. 182 00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:13,086 Did you see? It took a while but they're growing, huh? 183 00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:16,208 So much work, but... 184 00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,925 They're growing... 185 00:21:25,010 --> 00:21:26,921 Let the little children come to me. 186 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,800 Stop! Be careful! 187 00:21:32,890 --> 00:21:36,884 My plants! 188 00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:49,363 Excuse me. 189 00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:51,327 - To death! - What's happening? 190 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:54,209 - Sorry! Excuse me! - Prepare to die! 191 00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:56,201 - What's happening? - We're stoning an adulteress! 192 00:21:56,290 --> 00:22:00,807 - You'll pay with your life. - Excuse me. - Adulteress! 193 00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:02,688 Stop! 194 00:22:02,770 --> 00:22:06,400 Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. 195 00:22:10,130 --> 00:22:12,041 < (Fantozzi) Ouch! Ouch! 196 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:18,689 Help! 197 00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,807 Help! 198 00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:26,001 Are they cooked, dad? 199 00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:29,167 - We are almost there. - Ugo! Ugo! 200 00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:30,923 You must be strong. 201 00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:32,728 I have terrible news. 202 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,962 - No! - Yes! - Did you invite anyone to dinner? 203 00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:39,645 No, Rebecca is back from Italy and she brought the news. 204 00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:42,961 - What happened? - Your uncle is dead. 205 00:22:43,050 --> 00:22:45,690 - No... - Yes. - No! 206 00:22:45,770 --> 00:22:48,728 - Yes! - Yes! Uncle is dead! 207 00:22:49,970 --> 00:22:51,643 We're rich! 208 00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:53,289 I am his only heir! 209 00:22:53,370 --> 00:22:56,965 Away with this lousy house! 210 00:22:57,050 --> 00:22:59,963 I'm burning it! We'll get a new one! 211 00:23:00,050 --> 00:23:01,802 Away with this shit food! 212 00:23:01,890 --> 00:23:04,404 I'll buy you steaks for a lifetime! 213 00:23:04,490 --> 00:23:07,801 And then we'll find a nice husband for Marian... 214 00:23:07,890 --> 00:23:10,006 - Maybe. - Yes. 215 00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:13,606 Uncle Lazarus is dead! I'm rich! 216 00:23:13,690 --> 00:23:16,489 Uncle Lazarus is dead! 217 00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:20,561 Here I am. 218 00:23:21,570 --> 00:23:23,288 Coming. 219 00:23:24,650 --> 00:23:27,449 Get off... come on, little one! 220 00:23:27,530 --> 00:23:29,760 This is my family. 221 00:23:29,850 --> 00:23:33,127 I am the universal heir, I inherited everything. 222 00:23:33,210 --> 00:23:35,281 Here I am! Are you the notary? 223 00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:38,089 Did you bring the documentation? 224 00:23:38,170 --> 00:23:40,639 Lazarus, get up and walk. 225 00:23:40,730 --> 00:23:42,721 Who's walking? 226 00:23:42,810 --> 00:23:46,280 This guy's gone a bit... What are you talking about? 227 00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:59,241 < (crowd) Lazarus! - It's uncle. Uncle... 228 00:24:05,730 --> 00:24:09,086 Excuse me, notary! 229 00:24:09,170 --> 00:24:11,400 This doesn't seem regular to me. 230 00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:15,723 I have made advance payments... 231 00:24:17,250 --> 00:24:19,287 Ah! Uncle Lazarus. 232 00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:21,247 He doesn't shake hands. 233 00:24:21,330 --> 00:24:23,048 I find you well. 234 00:24:28,490 --> 00:24:30,686 Ugo, don't be upset. 235 00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:33,683 No, how can I? 236 00:24:33,770 --> 00:24:35,602 Who cares! 237 00:24:35,690 --> 00:24:38,125 - Let's go home. - What home? 238 00:24:40,810 --> 00:24:41,845 Our little house! 239 00:24:41,930 --> 00:24:44,160 < Reduced to total powerty... 240 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:47,606 ... Fantozzi accepted the help of his old friend Filini... 241 00:24:47,690 --> 00:24:49,966 ... who hired him as a shop boy... 242 00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:51,882 ... and moved to Jerusalem. 243 00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:55,326 - This would be all... - Let's see. 244 00:24:55,410 --> 00:25:00,200 Don't you think this needs a little stroke with the plane? 245 00:25:01,410 --> 00:25:03,367 Yes. 246 00:25:06,250 --> 00:25:08,207 Let's see. 247 00:25:08,290 --> 00:25:10,520 - One more? - No. 248 00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:12,169 - Is that okay? - Yes. 249 00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,764 Then come, Fantozzi. 250 00:25:14,850 --> 00:25:16,329 - Let's go. - I'm sorry. 251 00:25:16,410 --> 00:25:19,880 May I put on a hat? 252 00:25:19,970 --> 00:25:22,769 - Why? - I'm embarrassed by this hairstyle... 253 00:25:22,850 --> 00:25:24,887 By what? 254 00:25:24,970 --> 00:25:28,042 - Oh well, never mind... - Put your hat on. 255 00:25:28,130 --> 00:25:32,920 Let's not waste any more time otherwise the centurion... 256 00:25:33,010 --> 00:25:37,607 - Damn! What are you doing? - Sorry, I hit you. 257 00:25:37,690 --> 00:25:40,079 - I gave you a "cross blow". - Go! Go! 258 00:25:40,170 --> 00:25:44,243 - Do you remember the address? - Yes. It's the station... 259 00:25:44,330 --> 00:25:46,560 - Station? - I don't remember the name. 260 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:48,482 Station od the Cross, number 8. 261 00:25:48,570 --> 00:25:51,961 - Go and get the money. - All right. 262 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:55,361 And try not to lose the money on the way as you always do. 263 00:25:55,450 --> 00:25:58,203 - Here they are! Here they are! - They're passing by! 264 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,361 Hurry! 265 00:26:02,690 --> 00:26:04,488 Come and see! 266 00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:16,961 Sorry! Excuse me! 267 00:26:17,930 --> 00:26:19,568 Excuse me! 268 00:26:20,724 --> 00:26:23,000 - What's going on here? - They got two thieves. 269 00:26:23,084 --> 00:26:24,916 Well done! 270 00:26:28,364 --> 00:26:31,516 They do well to take these rascals... ouch! 271 00:26:31,604 --> 00:26:33,163 What are you doing here? 272 00:26:33,244 --> 00:26:36,680 - Get in line with the others. - I should go... - Go! 273 00:26:36,764 --> 00:26:38,596 All right. 274 00:26:38,684 --> 00:26:40,880 Where do we go? 275 00:26:54,484 --> 00:26:59,274 < After being randomly selected for a crusade in the Holy Land... 276 00:26:59,364 --> 00:27:04,723 ... Fantozzi was finally returning home after 12 years... 277 00:27:04,804 --> 00:27:07,364 ... of complete sexual abstinence... 278 00:27:07,444 --> 00:27:12,154 ... the only exception being a fleeting relationship with the ferocious Saladin... 279 00:27:12,244 --> 00:27:16,681 ... which had nevertheless left intact his desire to embrace... 280 00:27:16,764 --> 00:27:18,835 ... his beloved companion. 281 00:27:18,924 --> 00:27:20,835 < Pina! 282 00:27:20,924 --> 00:27:23,916 - Pina, here you are! - She's my wife, you fool! 283 00:27:24,004 --> 00:27:26,393 I've been waiting you for so long! 284 00:27:26,924 --> 00:27:29,359 Here's the door! 285 00:27:30,964 --> 00:27:33,922 Pina, here I am! 286 00:27:41,404 --> 00:27:43,077 Open up! 287 00:27:52,764 --> 00:27:54,243 Ah! 288 00:27:54,644 --> 00:27:58,319 Pina, what have they done to you? 289 00:27:58,404 --> 00:28:00,202 Ugo! 290 00:28:00,284 --> 00:28:02,798 Wife! 291 00:28:02,884 --> 00:28:05,398 - What is that? - It's your baby girl. 292 00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:07,839 Welcome back, dad! 293 00:28:08,724 --> 00:28:10,874 - Hello! - It's your daughter Mariangela. 294 00:28:10,964 --> 00:28:12,875 She became a woman. 295 00:28:14,924 --> 00:28:16,801 Woman... 296 00:28:20,044 --> 00:28:24,322 Ugo, how nice! You're back! 297 00:28:27,644 --> 00:28:29,203 Pina, 12 years... 298 00:28:29,284 --> 00:28:32,640 Ah, the baboon... I mean, the baby girl. 299 00:28:32,724 --> 00:28:34,362 Wait up. 300 00:28:34,444 --> 00:28:38,642 Come here, go play with the other baboons... 301 00:28:38,724 --> 00:28:40,681 ... baby girls. 302 00:28:40,764 --> 00:28:44,200 Go play and come back in the evening! 303 00:28:45,004 --> 00:28:46,597 In the evening! 304 00:28:49,364 --> 00:28:51,037 Quick... 305 00:28:52,288 --> 00:28:53,642 12 years... 306 00:28:56,728 --> 00:28:59,004 Come here! 307 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,040 Pina! Pina! 308 00:29:05,008 --> 00:29:06,521 Pina! 309 00:29:07,888 --> 00:29:10,038 I'll split you into two! 310 00:29:10,128 --> 00:29:12,199 METALLIC NOISE 311 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,757 The chastity belt. 312 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,196 Do you have the key? 313 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,430 The key! 314 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,393 Ugo... 315 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,918 You lost it! 316 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,077 - Isn't there a duplicate of that damn key? - No. 317 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,313 Wait, maybe the blacksmith Filinus. He made it! 318 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,793 - Filinus! - Who is it? 319 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:56,158 - What do you mean? It's me... - Ah, Fantozzi! Welcome back! 320 00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,598 Excuse me, I need to... 321 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,559 - I mean, about a... - I don't understand. 322 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,598 - It's been 12 years since... - Since what? - I lost my key. 323 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,957 - What key? - For my wife's chastity belt. 324 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:14,034 Let me finish this job, actually do me a courtesy. 325 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:18,956 Since you can see well, check if the iron is straight. 326 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,519 - No! - Why? 327 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,394 I don't know why I said no. 328 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,598 - Are you denying me a favor? - Me? - Come on, check it! 329 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,718 - Look! - I'm sorry, huh? 330 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:35,033 - I'd give it another tap here. - Point at the spot. 331 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,431 Right here. 332 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,639 < What are you doing? - I'll tell you in a minute. 333 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,996 Take these keys. 334 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,718 One will certainly fit... 335 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,713 ... or, I can come with the cutter. - No! 336 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,838 - I prefer... - The keys? Here you go. 337 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,797 How's the finger? 338 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,273 Let me see. 339 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,793 - Go, go. - Sorry. 340 00:31:10,697 --> 00:31:12,051 You'll tell me how it goes. 341 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:27,117 Where are you going, you lousy fool? Don't you know who's in there? 342 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,759 No, who is it? 343 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,715 - Princess, shall we whip him? - Yes, yes, twenty... 344 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,837 Indeed, twenty-five lashes. 345 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,513 I deserve them. 346 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,480 No, these must be days of celebration and jubilation. 347 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,278 Let's forgive him. 348 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,759 Let's go! 349 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,152 The handkerchief. 350 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,437 < It was Princess Serbelloni Mazzanti Vien dal Mare... 351 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,955 ... daughter of the castellan, who in those days... 352 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,237 ... had called for a great tourney to give her hand in marriage... 353 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,914 ... to the brave winning knight. 354 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,913 Fantozzi monstrously fell in love with her. 355 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,078 < Driven completely insane by that passion... 356 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,719 ... he stopped sleeping... 357 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,997 - Here. < He stopped eating. 358 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,038 - Ugo, why don't you eat? - Huh? 359 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,111 Leave me alone! 360 00:32:56,000 --> 00:33:00,870 And finally, during nights of full moon, he began to howl too. 361 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,958 < (man) Enough! 362 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,479 < Until one day, aware of the impossibility of that love... 363 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,359 ... he made up his mind to commit a tragic gesture. 364 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:37,715 What's that? Escalabar... Escansaland... Eskitzibur... 365 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,235 < Excalibur, you fool! - Thanks. 366 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:44,598 < Excalibur was the magical, invincible sword... 367 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,956 ... guarded by the wizard of the lake. 368 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,368 Excuse me, but is it for me? 369 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,711 Money? Ah, I understand. 370 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,474 How much? Five. 371 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,756 Okay, excuse me for a moment. 372 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:06,074 Would you mind turning around? I keep them here... 373 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,632 I only have a ten. 374 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,312 Okay, here. 375 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:33,913 Give it to me. 376 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,593 Here she is! 377 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,992 But, I'm sorry... 378 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,071 What about my change? 379 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,073 He doesn't make change. 380 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,392 Decubitus... er... 381 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,270 Thrombolus... 382 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,237 < Excalibur, you fool! 383 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,551 Don't say that in front of the sword. 384 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,720 With you, magic sword, I will win the tourney... 385 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,405 ... and the little princess will be mine. 386 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,359 < Rampant Red Dragon was the insignia of the terrible knight... 387 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,116 ... given by bookies as the absolute favorite for the final victory. 388 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,233 Here she is! It's her. 389 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:17,159 < The defeated were as follows: Bull, Unicorn, Hydra, Eagle. 390 00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:24,392 < Finally, it was Fantozzi's turn. 391 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,834 < It was the insigna of the "Spit Roast Inn"... 392 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,879 ... his official sponsor. - It's your turn, come on! 393 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,591 < Fantozzi's armor: four winds weather vane... 394 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,034 ... in lieu of a plume, 395 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,158 ... scary Viking helmet with zero visibility... 396 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:49,710 ... bronze jockstrap stolen from the shoe of Pippin the Short... 397 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:54,476 ... and at his feet: charcoal irons made of cast lead. 398 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,596 < Total weight of armor: 432 kilos... 399 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,478 ... and 750 grams. 400 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,234 - Shall I let go? - Let go! 401 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:58,111 - There you are! Give me the sword at once. - There's jousting first. 402 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:03,878 - No, I'll just do it the sword fight. - You can't change the rules. 403 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,191 First comes the jousting and then the sword. 404 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:11,160 - Here! - I signed up for the sword. 405 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,355 Go, dad! 406 00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:03,791 - Come on, Excu... Excaccia... < Excalibur! - Thanks. 407 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,431 Come, you don't scare me! 408 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:12,117 Ugo! 409 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,755 - Come on, dad! - Come on, Ugo! 410 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,912 Come on! Come on! 411 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,391 This sword isn't working! 412 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,114 The wizard of the lake ripped me off! 413 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,913 I suspect you're mad at me! 414 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,272 That's enough! 415 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,871 Pina, they gave the interval. 416 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,557 Take this, you shit! 417 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,119 You scoundrel! 418 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,396 Plebeian! 419 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,835 I'll crush you! 420 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,196 Here! 421 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,154 Ugo, take this. It's the real sword. 422 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,709 Forgive me, I did it because I love you. 423 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:54,920 It doesn't matter if you leave me now, it's better than you being dead. 424 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,033 - Excalibur! < Bravo! - Thanks. 425 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:10,151 Finish him. 426 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,712 Now let's see who the shit is! 427 00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,712 Come on! 428 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,558 Are you afraid, huh? 429 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,277 Back off, huh? 430 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,639 Come here, you scoundrel! 431 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,553 Plebeian, I'll show you. 432 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,437 Come here, you louse! 433 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,353 I'll peel you like an apple! 434 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,871 Go! 435 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,557 < On your knees. 436 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,551 Mercy. 437 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,155 Victory! Victory! 438 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,869 That's my dad! 439 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,191 - Come away. - But he's my dad! 440 00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,710 Dad is no longer ours. 441 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,952 - I won't marry that sewer rat. - Then you will lose all privileges. 442 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,273 My word is sacred, here is your bride. 443 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,193 Thanks, I don't want her. 444 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,476 I am happily married. 445 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,717 Pina! 446 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,235 Wait for me! Come here! 447 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:56,516 Ugo! 448 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,191 This is my wife... 449 00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,239 ... and I respect her very much. 450 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:16,029 She gave me a beautiful daughter... 451 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,919 - Gorgeous. - Yes. 452 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:23,551 - You reject me? - No offense. - Why did you participate in the tourney? 453 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,359 It was out of pure sporting spirit. 454 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,556 Let's go. 455 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,115 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 456 00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,116 I respect you a lot too. 457 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,316 Excuse me! 458 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,712 Here is the winner of the tournament! Let us carry him in triumph! 459 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,472 Hurray! 460 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,997 Lunch is ready! 461 00:44:19,713 --> 00:44:24,105 < Fantozzi, due to a terrifying fiscal squeeze... 462 00:44:24,186 --> 00:44:28,066 ... had fallen into complete poverty. 463 00:44:28,706 --> 00:44:31,664 Give me a penny, out of pity! 464 00:44:31,746 --> 00:44:35,137 I'm poor! I'm poor! 465 00:44:37,487 --> 00:44:39,603 Who is it? 466 00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:46,030 What is happening? 467 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:50,079 I'm Robin Hood, I steal from the rich to give to the poor. 468 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,673 Thanks. 469 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,836 Pina! 470 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,517 Money! 471 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,434 Look here, how wonderful! 472 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,433 The misery is over, we are rich! 473 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,511 We are rich! 474 00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:15,005 What are you doing? 475 00:45:15,086 --> 00:45:18,874 I'm Robin Hood, I steal from the rich to give to the poor. 476 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,477 Not even twenty minutes! 477 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:10,197 - Death to the aristocrat! - I'll mess you up if I get up there! 478 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,718 - Asshole! - Ugly stinker! 479 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:16,552 - To death! - Coward! 480 00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,431 To death! 481 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,270 To the guillotine! 482 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,351 To the guillotine! 483 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:36,191 - Coward! - Death to the aristocrat! 484 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,877 - To death! - Cuckold! 485 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:44,997 - To death! - Piece of shit! 486 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,198 Kill him! 487 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:02,918 < To death! 488 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:25,273 Damn, citizen Fantozzi! It jammes! 489 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,152 You'll see, now they'll even grace him. 490 00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:34,277 You'll see, citizen. 491 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,239 - Damn! - Excuse me! 492 00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,510 What grace? Excuse me! 493 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,152 Come on, come on! Do something! 494 00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:51,400 - Ugo! - I'll do it, come on! 495 00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,710 Do it! 496 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,519 Come on, I'll do it! 497 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,035 Come on, what the hell are you doing? 498 00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,191 Wait a moment. 499 00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,112 How the hell is this done? 500 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:07,273 Wait a moment! Get off, you shitty aristocrat! 501 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,112 Let me do it! 502 00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:12,158 How the fuck do you make these guillotines? 503 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:14,231 They never work! 504 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,312 Damn these guillotts... 505 00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:34,397 < With the recommendation of Cardinal Ortona-Natta... 506 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,313 ... who had fallen monstrously in love with him... 507 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:41,439 ... Fantozzi finally managed to get an apartment assigned... 508 00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:46,230 ... along the walls of the Papal State, in Porta Pia. 509 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,231 - That's the house. - How beautiful! 510 00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:51,153 Take the daguerreotype of Ortona-Natta's father. 511 00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:56,360 You, Mariangela, carry this inside and I'll take... 512 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,230 What is this? 513 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,630 This is a special bottle. 514 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,199 Today, I want to celebrate. It's a great day! 515 00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,840 Mariangelina, go there. The glasses! 516 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,639 Today is a great day. 517 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:18,953 Today, September 20, 1870... 518 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:24,114 - What's going on, Ugo? - They celebrate, they make fires. 519 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,714 Today is a great day... 520 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,156 ... because the Fantozzi family... 521 00:49:30,240 --> 00:49:32,470 ... finally owns a house! 522 00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:34,517 Let's toast! 523 00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,673 < he Had installed the dining room... 524 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,673 ... on the breach of Porta Pia. 525 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,515 You forgot the ball... 526 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:07,113 Did you see what a breach they made? 527 00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:11,150 < With the annexation of Rome to the Kingdom of Italy... 528 00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:15,552 ... the administration had changed, but Fantozzi's life hadn't. 529 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,029 Watch out! 530 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,229 Up! Up! 531 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,071 < The office manager had also changed. 532 00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:34,199 < The ferocious Cardinal Ravelli-Carta had passed over his position... 533 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,590 ... to the great scoundrel from Turin... 534 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,672 ... Modestino Balabam. 535 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,956 Let's go. 536 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,074 < He had tried to poison Garibaldi... 537 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,037 ... earning the sympathies of Count Cavour. 538 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:54,238 < Through Masonic intrigues and double-crossing ... 539 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,755 ... he'd made a brilliant career... 540 00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:00,117 ... but above all, he could cultivate his great passion... 541 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:01,918 ...rowing. 542 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,434 < As the founder of the Po River Rowing Club... 543 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:07,400 ... he wanted to create a similar one on the banks of the Tiber. 544 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:13,032 You Romans are nothing but great molluscs... 545 00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:17,318 ... and moreover, you're attached to the skirts of the cardinals. 546 00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,597 But you have to change. 547 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,670 - Do you like rowing? - Yes, it's wonderful! 548 00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:31,434 My motto is "Let's row in Rome!" 549 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:35,990 So you are experts. 550 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,913 All right. 551 00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,558 I'll pick one at random. 552 00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,437 - A volunteer... you! - Me? 553 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:51,874 No, behind you. 554 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:55,555 - Me? - No, at the back. 555 00:51:57,240 --> 00:51:58,719 Behind? 556 00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,360 - Me? - Come. 557 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,276 - He wants you. - Me? 558 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,717 Here is the expert. 559 00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:12,633 This one... 560 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,311 Are you the expert rower? 561 00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,995 Um... well. 562 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,674 - Quite. - Sit down. 563 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:24,514 May I? 564 00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,512 - There is no chair. - Please, take a seat. 565 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:32,318 Thanks. 566 00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,269 Here I am. Very comfortable. 567 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:40,115 - What are you doing? - You told me to sit down... 568 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,638 I hadn't seen it. 569 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:47,878 I'll put it here. 570 00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,350 It weighs a ton! 571 00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,717 I feel like throwing up! Help me! 572 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,519 These are somewhat heavy chairs. 573 00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:14,910 I like them. 574 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,960 - What's an oarlock? - Er... 575 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,754 It's a... 576 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,318 It's a gentleman who practices witchcraft. 577 00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,789 If you don't know, forget it. 578 00:53:40,980 --> 00:53:42,777 So? 579 00:53:42,858 --> 00:53:44,864 Who invented the sliding carriage? 580 00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:50,319 Do you want to know this? 581 00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,040 - Yes. - Francesca from Rimini. 582 00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:58,250 - Francesca from Rimini? - They told me at the reception. 583 00:53:58,331 --> 00:54:00,607 It's a rumor. 584 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,874 Then I... have mercy. 585 00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,873 Can you ask me a back-up question? 586 00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:08,837 I'd like to make a good impression. 587 00:54:09,785 --> 00:54:11,981 Back-up question: eight rowers yole. 588 00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:15,034 Yes! Very true! 589 00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:17,794 With this... 590 00:54:18,736 --> 00:54:20,932 Nothing, they say nothing back here. 591 00:54:21,251 --> 00:54:23,322 Pay attention. 592 00:54:23,403 --> 00:54:25,838 The definition of yole... 593 00:54:27,223 --> 00:54:29,993 Yole is a friend of mine. 594 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,817 - You know those women... - What are you talking about? 595 00:54:32,997 --> 00:54:37,439 She lives in a place with a small door. 596 00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:40,080 You knock, she opens... 597 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:43,471 ... and she's with eight sailors. 598 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,471 They are Russian. 599 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:47,862 - Russians? - No, one was a Pole. 600 00:54:47,943 --> 00:54:51,750 - Polish? - Yes, but they sent him away. 601 00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:57,279 Ah, right! They're black sailors... negroes! 602 00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:58,953 Negroes? 603 00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:02,920 How can you not know such a simple thing? 604 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,150 Ask him. 605 00:55:06,568 --> 00:55:08,764 Now it's up to another. 606 00:55:10,642 --> 00:55:13,077 So, I'm going to ask... 607 00:55:14,352 --> 00:55:16,582 ... I'm going to ask... 608 00:55:16,749 --> 00:55:18,581 Stop! 609 00:55:19,311 --> 00:55:23,225 Starting today, things will change. 610 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:28,197 Your careers will be based on your sporting merits. 611 00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:33,798 We will meet on Sunday on the Tiber for the first rowing cup. 612 00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,638 < My employees... 613 00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,678 ... to your boats! 614 00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,159 You're great, dad! 615 00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:53,117 To the oars! 616 00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:04,193 < To inaugurate the first rowing club... 617 00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,113 ... Balabam had launched a grueling regatta... 618 00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,430 ... upstream over a distance of seven nautical miles. 619 00:56:10,511 --> 00:56:13,269 - I wonder how they'll do! - Let's switch sides. 620 00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:32,512 < The departure signal was to be given at noon... 621 00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,459 ... by the cannon of the Gianicolo. 622 00:56:34,584 --> 00:56:37,394 - I think it's almost time. - Yes. 623 00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,471 - Do you know the time? - Sure! 624 00:56:41,405 --> 00:56:43,442 Noon, on the dot. 625 00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:54,196 - You see? Great watch. - Yes, but did you see the boat? 626 00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,631 - Ready? - Ready! 627 00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:03,119 - Go! - Go! 628 00:57:05,451 --> 00:57:09,809 < In Ponte Sisto, the Colsi brothers fell victim... 629 00:57:09,891 --> 00:57:12,167 ... of an oversight. - Are we okay? 630 00:57:12,251 --> 00:57:15,663 Yes, we'll go right through the middle. 631 00:57:17,931 --> 00:57:19,649 Aah! 632 00:57:26,051 --> 00:57:27,689 I'm sorry. 633 00:57:28,058 --> 00:57:30,732 - I'm sorry! - You're breaking my kidneys! 634 00:57:30,873 --> 00:57:33,729 - And you're giving me a bath! - Why don't you coordinate? 635 00:57:33,810 --> 00:57:35,770 - You coordinate too. - Okay, let's coordinate. 636 00:57:35,851 --> 00:57:38,445 - Are you coordinated? - Yes, ready? - Go! 637 00:57:39,771 --> 00:57:41,250 Sorry. 638 00:57:41,331 --> 00:57:43,481 Be patient, try to improve. 639 00:57:43,571 --> 00:57:47,360 - I'll change mates. - Then coordinate. 640 00:57:47,451 --> 00:57:48,771 < At the bridge of Castel Sant'Angelo... 641 00:57:48,851 --> 00:57:52,487 ... in conjunction with Fantozzi and Filini's passage... 642 00:57:52,568 --> 00:57:57,563 ... an unfortunate anonymous man had decided to take his own life. 643 00:57:58,291 --> 00:57:59,964 - I'm sorry. - Huh? 644 00:58:00,051 --> 00:58:02,201 - But what time is it? - Why? 645 00:58:02,291 --> 00:58:04,328 - It's noon again. - What? 646 00:58:04,411 --> 00:58:07,529 - Why did you stop? - Because... - What? 647 00:58:07,611 --> 00:58:09,568 - A gentleman just... - Where? - He jumped. 648 00:58:09,651 --> 00:58:11,642 - Nonsense! - Okay, I'll explain later. 649 00:58:11,731 --> 00:58:13,927 - Let's move! Row! - I'll leave for a minute. 650 00:58:14,011 --> 00:58:19,723 - What are you doing? - Tidy up a little. 651 00:58:19,811 --> 00:58:24,282 - Let it go! Let's move! - There's a mess here. 652 00:58:24,371 --> 00:58:27,363 - You think it's a good time to tidy up? - Look! 653 00:58:27,451 --> 00:58:29,840 - Where did you get that? - I'll explain later. 654 00:58:29,931 --> 00:58:33,970 - Fantozzi, are you all right? - To the oars! 655 00:58:34,051 --> 00:58:36,520 - Did you put the... - Yeah, that thing. 656 00:58:36,611 --> 00:58:38,522 Ready? Go! 657 00:58:38,611 --> 00:58:40,761 < Halfway through the race in Ponte di Ripetta... 658 00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:43,923 ... accountant Trota and scribe Sogliola were in the lead. 659 00:58:47,011 --> 00:58:49,685 By a terrible misunderstanding, they were sold in chunks... 660 00:58:49,771 --> 00:58:52,684 ... at the Vatican market by some amateur fishermen. 661 00:58:53,931 --> 00:58:57,322 - Excuse me, Deputy Chief! - Tell me. 662 00:58:57,411 --> 00:58:59,049 We are last. 663 00:58:59,131 --> 00:59:02,408 - We are monstrously late. - Do not worry. 664 00:59:02,491 --> 00:59:06,325 - I know a shortcut! - Good! 665 00:59:10,451 --> 00:59:12,681 < At Ponte Milvio, archivist Mughini... 666 00:59:12,771 --> 00:59:16,759 ... and his colleague Belon decided to deceitfully resort... 667 00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,686 ... to the help of a recent invention... 668 00:59:19,771 --> 00:59:22,604 ... by engineers Barsanti and Matteucci. 669 00:59:22,691 --> 00:59:27,367 It was the prototype of the first internal combustion engine. 670 00:59:34,491 --> 00:59:37,768 Excuse me, aside from from the stench... 671 00:59:37,851 --> 00:59:41,321 ... you still think this a shortcut? 672 00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:45,291 Stop this distrust! I told you I have a map. 673 00:59:45,371 --> 00:59:46,964 Here it is! 674 00:59:47,051 --> 00:59:51,010 When will we get out of this sewer alive? 675 00:59:51,091 --> 00:59:52,570 Um, from this shortcut. 676 00:59:52,651 --> 00:59:56,042 Don't worry, we'll be out in half an hour, tops. 677 00:59:56,131 --> 01:00:00,011 < 58 days later, in the foyer of Fantozzi's office... 678 01:00:00,091 --> 01:00:05,291 ... a bust was uncovered in the memory of the missing employees. 679 01:00:12,331 --> 01:00:17,531 Indeed, the two unfortunates wandered many more years... 680 01:00:17,611 --> 01:00:22,162 ... through the sewers of the whole world until they emerged... 681 01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:23,389 ...in the ocean. 682 01:00:23,470 --> 01:00:29,347 They were rescued, at last, by an ocean liner on its maiden voyage... 683 01:00:29,428 --> 01:00:31,329 The Titanic! 684 01:00:31,411 --> 01:00:34,324 < A novelty had arrived very late from France... 685 01:00:34,411 --> 01:00:37,290 ... on the wake of a fabulous success... 686 01:00:37,371 --> 01:00:41,530 ... it was the great sensation of the moving pictures! 687 01:01:02,851 --> 01:01:07,402 - Pina, Should we go? - Look how nice it is! 688 01:01:07,491 --> 01:01:10,722 - It's funny! - But that's stupid. 689 01:01:10,811 --> 01:01:13,166 It's stuff for children and for morons. 690 01:01:13,251 --> 01:01:15,970 It's can't last, this stuff. 691 01:01:31,011 --> 01:01:34,686 - What is happening? - Ugo, I'm scared! 692 01:01:34,771 --> 01:01:37,889 - Scared of what? - Of the train. - It's fake! 693 01:01:37,971 --> 01:01:41,760 - I'm scared, let's go! - Pina, it's fiction! 694 01:01:41,851 --> 01:01:45,890 - Hey! Have you gone crazy? - Ugo, come on! 695 01:01:45,971 --> 01:01:48,360 It's all fake! 696 01:01:48,451 --> 01:01:51,091 It's a simple optical illusion! 697 01:02:07,611 --> 01:02:09,761 Notch! 698 01:02:21,171 --> 01:02:23,526 - Double notch! - All right! 699 01:02:34,891 --> 01:02:38,407 - Notch, notch, notch! - Yes. 700 01:03:18,571 --> 01:03:21,006 < After centuries of abuse suffered in Europe... 701 01:03:21,091 --> 01:03:24,846 ... Fantozzi had decided to try his bad luck... 702 01:03:24,931 --> 01:03:26,763 ... even in America. 703 01:03:27,651 --> 01:03:30,370 Here we are! Here we are. 704 01:03:31,691 --> 01:03:34,683 Here's our home! 705 01:03:36,971 --> 01:03:40,248 Ughino, are you sure this is the house? 706 01:03:40,331 --> 01:03:42,720 There's rich people here. 707 01:03:42,811 --> 01:03:44,768 I am very sure. 708 01:03:44,851 --> 01:03:48,082 We owe everything to Mr. Adams the manager of the nightclub. 709 01:03:48,171 --> 01:03:50,606 He gave it to me at a bargain price. Come! 710 01:03:50,691 --> 01:03:54,480 - Can you take the little girl? - I can't do it. 711 01:03:55,050 --> 01:03:58,327 Me neither. 712 01:04:25,931 --> 01:04:28,081 - Some milk? - Scottish. 713 01:04:44,393 --> 01:04:46,191 This is the address. 714 01:04:46,272 --> 01:04:48,799 Last night our informants saw two full trucks... 715 01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:50,831 ... of whiskey bottles being unloaded. 716 01:04:50,912 --> 01:04:55,240 - This time they have no escape. - The tip is right. 717 01:04:55,331 --> 01:04:57,845 Let's wait a few minutes before entering. 718 01:05:04,291 --> 01:05:07,602 My own home! I'm happy! 719 01:05:07,691 --> 01:05:09,682 Pina, we're in America. 720 01:05:09,771 --> 01:05:13,401 I want to officially celebrate our first American home. 721 01:05:13,491 --> 01:05:15,243 Yes, yes! 722 01:05:15,331 --> 01:05:18,687 - I've got a surprise. - What? 723 01:05:18,771 --> 01:05:20,489 Something crazy. 724 01:05:20,571 --> 01:05:22,448 Should I take it out? 725 01:05:23,651 --> 01:05:27,246 What did you think, love? Here it is! 726 01:05:27,331 --> 01:05:30,767 Oh, alcohol! It's forbidden! 727 01:05:30,851 --> 01:05:33,161 There's prohibition, dad. 728 01:05:33,251 --> 01:05:36,687 Cover up! Better cover yourself up, for your distemper... 729 01:05:36,771 --> 01:05:38,603 ... I mean your cold. 730 01:05:38,691 --> 01:05:41,410 Pina, a toast! Take the glasses. 731 01:05:41,491 --> 01:05:43,607 Isn't it dangerous? 732 01:05:43,691 --> 01:05:47,286 Who could find us here? We're sitting pretty! 733 01:05:47,371 --> 01:05:51,080 - Glasses! - Me too! - Cover up! 734 01:05:58,531 --> 01:06:01,045 - Police. - Oh God! 735 01:06:17,371 --> 01:06:19,442 Good! 736 01:06:19,531 --> 01:06:22,125 Love, I'm happy! 737 01:06:23,171 --> 01:06:26,562 Come on! Did you get in a daze? 738 01:06:30,251 --> 01:06:32,367 Let's toast! 739 01:06:32,451 --> 01:06:34,203 Let's toast! 740 01:06:34,291 --> 01:06:36,680 Let's drink to the love... 741 01:06:36,771 --> 01:06:39,763 ... this house instills in my whole heart... 742 01:06:41,011 --> 01:06:44,163 How happy we are! Let's toast! 743 01:06:51,851 --> 01:06:54,206 Let's drink! Let's drink! Let's drink! 744 01:06:54,291 --> 01:06:58,080 - May I hel-- - Where are the bottles? 745 01:07:01,571 --> 01:07:04,290 - You're not talking, huh? - Search everywhere! 746 01:07:08,427 --> 01:07:11,730 - Come here. - Leave me, you monster! 747 01:07:11,811 --> 01:07:13,370 Mamma Mia! 748 01:07:23,331 --> 01:07:25,402 Watch your words! 749 01:07:28,491 --> 01:07:31,927 - Murderers! - I have to ask a question. 750 01:07:32,011 --> 01:07:35,925 What time does the first steamer leave for Italy? 751 01:07:36,611 --> 01:07:38,807 We didn't stay for long, but it's been nice. 752 01:07:38,891 --> 01:07:43,124 You can't even arrive and your house is destroyed... 753 01:08:25,850 --> 01:08:28,842 < At the outbreak of World War II... 754 01:08:28,930 --> 01:08:33,049 ... Fantozzi was called back into aviation. 755 01:08:46,617 --> 01:08:49,422 This is the name of the first lucky one... 756 01:08:49,790 --> 01:08:52,029 ... who will have the honor of dying... 757 01:08:52,147 --> 01:08:55,811 ... by crashing into American ships. 758 01:08:57,513 --> 01:08:59,842 Ray of Moonlight 759 01:09:09,467 --> 01:09:11,217 Thunderclap 760 01:09:18,490 --> 01:09:20,720 Tozzi-Fan! 761 01:09:23,850 --> 01:09:24,885 Tozzi-Fan! 762 01:10:27,810 --> 01:10:29,448 Banzai! 763 01:10:59,770 --> 01:11:01,761 Banzai! 764 01:11:11,170 --> 01:11:13,730 Banzai! 765 01:11:16,930 --> 01:11:18,921 Banzai! 766 01:11:33,951 --> 01:11:37,694 < The kamikaze Tozzi-Fan had an intention to disappear... 767 01:11:37,775 --> 01:11:39,648 ... and wait for the end of the war... 768 01:11:39,729 --> 01:11:43,944 ... while hiding out in that charming small town. 769 01:11:48,650 --> 01:11:53,201 < That day, Fantozzi had ditched the office... 770 01:11:53,290 --> 01:11:58,524 ... and unbeknownst to his family he was approaching the stadium. 771 01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:02,808 < Italy! Italy! - We're finally out of office hell. 772 01:12:02,890 --> 01:12:05,689 We will spend a wonderful day of sunshine and sports. 773 01:12:05,770 --> 01:12:08,125 Feel that air. 774 01:12:08,210 --> 01:12:10,360 Breathe! Breathe! 775 01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:14,048 Close the window! 776 01:12:16,010 --> 01:12:19,419 - Can we make it in time? - To do what? 777 01:12:19,500 --> 01:12:21,647 There's only seven hours until the game starts. 778 01:12:21,730 --> 01:12:24,483 Don't worry, I'm a stadium approach strategist. 779 01:12:24,570 --> 01:12:27,528 Look, a passage has opened up. Get in! Get in! 780 01:12:27,610 --> 01:12:29,601 Go! 781 01:12:34,170 --> 01:12:36,400 Look what you've done! 782 01:12:37,010 --> 01:12:38,967 We got stuck! 783 01:12:40,530 --> 01:12:42,601 Get out! 784 01:12:42,690 --> 01:12:45,159 - We're stuck! - Out of the roof. 785 01:12:45,250 --> 01:12:47,287 - What roof? - Holy cow. 786 01:12:47,370 --> 01:12:49,646 Out of the engine. Lead the way. 787 01:12:49,730 --> 01:12:51,687 Come! 788 01:12:51,770 --> 01:12:53,647 Don't stop. 789 01:12:55,170 --> 01:13:00,119 - Fantozzi, don't waste time. - I'm not very used to this. 790 01:13:06,530 --> 01:13:10,524 - It's very convenient this way. Come! - Coming. 791 01:13:10,610 --> 01:13:12,726 After you. 792 01:13:12,810 --> 01:13:15,484 Come on! 793 01:13:15,570 --> 01:13:19,200 - What about he car? - Leave it here. 794 01:13:19,290 --> 01:13:22,840 - They'll give me a ticket. - It's your car, anyway. 795 01:13:22,930 --> 01:13:24,921 Come! 796 01:13:25,010 --> 01:13:29,004 - The plaids! - What? - Ugh! The blankets! 797 01:13:32,410 --> 01:13:34,401 Italy! Italy! 798 01:13:35,410 --> 01:13:38,687 - Excuse me, where's the stadium? - I can guide you. - Thanks. 799 01:13:38,770 --> 01:13:42,365 Fantozzi, Come! It's our lucky day. 800 01:13:42,450 --> 01:13:44,327 Get on! 801 01:13:46,090 --> 01:13:48,286 - Good morning. - Nice to meet you. 802 01:13:48,370 --> 01:13:52,204 - Accountant Ugo Fantozzi. - It's a pleasure. 803 01:13:52,290 --> 01:13:56,602 - Is that seat free? - Of course. 804 01:13:56,690 --> 01:13:59,000 Thanks, you're very humane. 805 01:13:59,090 --> 01:14:01,127 Thanks. 806 01:14:01,210 --> 01:14:03,042 Let's sit here. 807 01:14:03,130 --> 01:14:04,882 How nice! 808 01:14:13,785 --> 01:14:17,016 < It was the day of the highly anticipated football match... 809 01:14:17,410 --> 01:14:19,128 ... Italy-Scotland. 810 01:14:20,115 --> 01:14:22,265 - Here's our opponents. < Italy! 811 01:14:22,355 --> 01:14:26,064 - How do you say "may the best man win"? - "That win the best!" 812 01:14:26,155 --> 01:14:27,748 Win the best! 813 01:14:29,275 --> 01:14:32,711 - Are you sure that's how you say it? - Sure. 814 01:14:34,715 --> 01:14:36,228 Win the best! 815 01:14:37,755 --> 01:14:40,907 I may have insidious pronunciation defects. 816 01:14:40,995 --> 01:14:42,876 - In English? - In Scottish. 817 01:14:42,957 --> 01:14:45,524 Guys, let's show them who we are! 818 01:14:45,605 --> 01:14:47,283 TOURIST TRIP -> HOOLIGAN TRIP 819 01:14:47,395 --> 01:14:52,265 All hands to battle stations! On the right side! 820 01:14:55,515 --> 01:14:59,395 What? Battle stations? 821 01:14:59,475 --> 01:15:01,307 Get down. 822 01:16:07,835 --> 01:16:10,987 I don't understand how this works. 823 01:16:11,075 --> 01:16:12,873 Excuse me, sir. 824 01:16:12,955 --> 01:16:16,232 - How does this work? - It's easy. 825 01:16:16,315 --> 01:16:18,147 Put the torch right there. 826 01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:30,392 You may feel like you have a big hole in your stomach. 827 01:16:30,475 --> 01:16:32,910 - Let's go. - Goodbye, have a nice day. 828 01:16:32,995 --> 01:16:34,554 Later, I'll... 829 01:16:48,675 --> 01:16:50,473 - Accountant! - Huh? 830 01:16:50,555 --> 01:16:52,512 Board them! 831 01:16:52,595 --> 01:16:54,745 - What? - Go! 832 01:16:56,195 --> 01:16:57,913 I'll board them. 833 01:17:19,355 --> 01:17:21,028 Here, accountant! 834 01:17:23,795 --> 01:17:26,594 Yahoo! Yahoo! 835 01:17:32,075 --> 01:17:37,309 We need to break down the Scottish bus door. 836 01:17:37,395 --> 01:17:40,751 - We need a battering ram. - Excuse me... 837 01:17:40,835 --> 01:17:42,906 - Ah, you! - What's happening? 838 01:17:42,995 --> 01:17:44,952 Can you do the ram? 839 01:17:45,035 --> 01:17:47,151 - Ram! - Me? No! 840 01:17:47,235 --> 01:17:50,068 I never did the ram! 841 01:17:50,155 --> 01:17:53,193 I'm not a ram! 842 01:17:57,835 --> 01:18:01,908 < I told you I can't do the ram. - Accountant, what are you doing? 843 01:18:01,995 --> 01:18:03,668 Come! 844 01:18:04,555 --> 01:18:06,944 Accountant, I'm here! 845 01:18:08,955 --> 01:18:12,710 We have captured the Scots bus. 846 01:18:12,795 --> 01:18:14,433 Yahoo! 847 01:18:14,515 --> 01:18:16,745 Yah... oh! 848 01:18:16,835 --> 01:18:20,191 Go upstairs. 849 01:18:20,275 --> 01:18:22,744 - I'll take you to the stadium. - Yahoo! 850 01:18:25,035 --> 01:18:27,026 < Italy! Italy! 851 01:18:27,955 --> 01:18:31,346 It's very nice up here. Long live Italy! 852 01:18:33,075 --> 01:18:35,510 < Can you see? - Everything's fine! 853 01:18:41,075 --> 01:18:42,713 Be careful! 854 01:18:42,795 --> 01:18:44,672 Don't worry! 855 01:18:47,915 --> 01:18:50,634 Do you mind if I get off? 856 01:18:50,715 --> 01:18:55,027 < The Italians broke the opposing line. 857 01:18:55,115 --> 01:18:57,191 The Scottish will likely counterattack... 858 01:18:57,272 --> 01:18:59,720 ... with heavy artillery and tracked vehicles. 859 01:18:59,801 --> 01:19:01,949 < Over to you, Ferretti. 860 01:19:02,035 --> 01:19:06,791 < Cover shots are being fired over in the Curva Nord... 861 01:19:06,875 --> 01:19:09,594 ... with the support of bombing helicopters. 862 01:19:09,675 --> 01:19:13,555 < Let's hear the Scots' war cry in the Curva Sud. 863 01:19:13,635 --> 01:19:15,034 How nice, huh? 864 01:19:17,618 --> 01:19:18,626 What? 865 01:19:18,791 --> 01:19:22,394 - Which seats did you get? - Seats? 866 01:19:22,475 --> 01:19:24,785 Here, these ones. 867 01:19:28,155 --> 01:19:30,795 I'll give you some chilling news. 868 01:19:30,875 --> 01:19:32,991 We are in the Scottish trenches. 869 01:19:48,915 --> 01:19:50,872 How do you do? 870 01:19:52,475 --> 01:19:58,073 Play something Scottish... The Scottish anthem. 871 01:19:58,155 --> 01:20:00,988 You know it? Play! 872 01:20:02,635 --> 01:20:04,467 "Win the best"! 873 01:20:04,555 --> 01:20:06,387 I do the anthem! 874 01:20:07,795 --> 01:20:11,106 The Scottish anthem! THE ITALIAN ANTHEM PLAYS 875 01:20:34,155 --> 01:20:35,668 Sorry! 876 01:20:38,515 --> 01:20:41,268 "Stranger in the night"! "Whiskey"! 877 01:20:48,075 --> 01:20:50,112 Pretty good! 878 01:21:11,915 --> 01:21:13,747 Ugo, what happened? 879 01:21:13,835 --> 01:21:16,224 Nothing happened! 880 01:21:16,970 --> 01:21:21,840 They made me work overtime all day. 881 01:21:21,921 --> 01:21:24,720 You think I'm going out to have fun, huh? 882 01:21:25,677 --> 01:21:28,829 We were waiting for you for the girl's dance exhibition. 883 01:21:29,355 --> 01:21:33,633 Don't piss me off with the exhibition of the baboo--- the baby girl! 884 01:21:33,715 --> 01:21:38,551 If I don't work, who will eat in this house? 885 01:21:38,635 --> 01:21:41,434 Who will eat? 886 01:21:45,269 --> 01:21:47,260 You're right. 887 01:21:47,341 --> 01:21:49,093 I'm sorry, Ugo. 888 01:21:54,835 --> 01:22:00,194 - (TV) .. the national team's match. - No, I'm sorry. 889 01:22:00,275 --> 01:22:03,108 Unfortunately, once again the sports news... 890 01:22:03,195 --> 01:22:05,471 ... ended up with crime news. 891 01:22:05,555 --> 01:22:09,185 Thugs who have nothing to do with real fans... 892 01:22:09,275 --> 01:22:15,112 ... ruined what was supposed to be a celebration. 893 01:22:15,195 --> 01:22:18,108 We can show you some pictures... 894 01:22:18,195 --> 01:22:21,028 These pictures bear witness... 895 01:22:21,115 --> 01:22:23,231 ... of a most reprehensible act... 896 01:22:23,315 --> 01:22:27,195 ... committed by an Italian hooligan. 897 01:22:27,275 --> 01:22:29,630 < A troublemaker, a violent one. 898 01:22:29,715 --> 01:22:32,309 You can see the hate in his eyes. 899 01:22:32,395 --> 01:22:35,513 It's something that has nothing to do with a sporting event. 900 01:22:35,595 --> 01:22:39,031 < These are images that should make us think. - May I tell you something? 901 01:22:39,115 --> 01:22:42,346 - Yeah. - You make me sick. 902 01:22:42,435 --> 01:22:46,349 < One really wonders with growing concern: 903 01:22:46,435 --> 01:22:48,904 at this rate, where will we end up? 904 01:22:55,475 --> 01:22:58,831 - Happy birthday, Ughino! - Happy birthday, dad! - Thanks. 905 01:22:58,915 --> 01:23:01,111 Happy birthday to you! 906 01:23:01,195 --> 01:23:04,347 - Happy birthday to you! - Enough, enough! 907 01:23:04,435 --> 01:23:07,188 - Pina, set the table. - Yes. 908 01:23:09,477 --> 01:23:12,230 - Let's sit down. - Yes. 909 01:23:12,317 --> 01:23:14,627 Sit down, come on. 910 01:23:16,717 --> 01:23:18,435 Here we go. 911 01:23:22,437 --> 01:23:27,227 - Why isn't mine working? - Let me, Ugo. 912 01:23:29,077 --> 01:23:32,786 - Ughino, you have to cut the cake. - The knife! 913 01:23:42,077 --> 01:23:45,069 Holy Alpha Centauri! Do you never sharpen your knives? 914 01:23:45,157 --> 01:23:47,114 Where is the thing? 915 01:23:51,677 --> 01:23:53,429 Is it here? 916 01:23:59,597 --> 01:24:01,827 It's very handy! 917 01:24:03,357 --> 01:24:06,110 It's not here. I'll close... ah! 918 01:24:12,037 --> 01:24:15,109 It's in the bottom one. 919 01:24:15,197 --> 01:24:17,473 You have to remember, Pina. 920 01:24:17,557 --> 01:24:19,787 You close it, I beg you. 921 01:24:26,757 --> 01:24:28,907 I'll sharpen it. 922 01:24:41,557 --> 01:24:46,313 - I told you to turn off the bedeophone! - I'm sorry. 923 01:24:48,117 --> 01:24:49,596 All right... 924 01:24:54,877 --> 01:24:56,470 What is that? 925 01:25:04,277 --> 01:25:06,109 What...? 926 01:25:07,357 --> 01:25:09,189 Which number is it? 927 01:25:12,477 --> 01:25:14,548 - Good morning. - Sidereal director! 928 01:25:14,637 --> 01:25:18,790 - Am I disturbing you, dear Fantozzi? - Of course not! Not at all! 929 01:25:18,877 --> 01:25:20,834 Indeed, it is an honor for me. 930 01:25:20,917 --> 01:25:24,273 I called you to wish you a happy birthday. 931 01:25:24,357 --> 01:25:26,712 - You remembered! < Of course. 932 01:25:26,797 --> 01:25:30,188 - Thanks. - And then for a more personal reason. 933 01:25:32,237 --> 01:25:34,877 - What is that? - Very personal. 934 01:25:37,917 --> 01:25:40,193 - Me? - Yes, I understand. 935 01:25:40,277 --> 01:25:43,508 - Come on, we have to talk about work! - I get it. 936 01:25:46,717 --> 01:25:48,355 Ugh! 937 01:25:50,237 --> 01:25:51,671 Go ahead. 938 01:25:51,757 --> 01:25:56,228 You should lend me your house for an hour. 939 01:25:56,317 --> 01:26:00,709 - But why? - I'm here with a lady. 940 01:26:00,797 --> 01:26:02,913 I don't know where to take her. 941 01:26:06,277 --> 01:26:09,872 - Why don't you take her to your house? - Excuse me? 942 01:26:09,957 --> 01:26:12,631 To... to my house! 943 01:26:17,157 --> 01:26:22,630 Couldn't you come tomorrow? 944 01:26:22,717 --> 01:26:29,396 Today is a special day for me. 945 01:26:29,477 --> 01:26:31,150 It's my birthday. 946 01:26:31,237 --> 01:26:33,990 We already have the cake and the sparkling wine on ice. 947 01:26:34,077 --> 01:26:37,354 Good! Leave everything there and keep the sparkling wine cool. 948 01:26:37,437 --> 01:26:40,748 On ice... on ice. 949 01:26:40,837 --> 01:26:43,226 < I'll be there in 15 minutes. 950 01:26:44,357 --> 01:26:46,234 Leave the key under the mat. 951 01:26:46,317 --> 01:26:49,116 Under the mat... 952 01:26:58,117 --> 01:27:00,552 Pina, I... 953 01:27:01,757 --> 01:27:06,228 It's not my fault, I was so keen on this party. 954 01:27:06,997 --> 01:27:11,468 - It doesn't matter, Ugo. - I'll drink this! 955 01:27:11,557 --> 01:27:15,107 - Okay, okay... - I'll drink it in his face! 956 01:27:16,077 --> 01:27:20,674 These assholes are arrogant just because they have some power. 957 01:27:20,757 --> 01:27:23,510 - I'm having a nice party when... - Get your helmet, dad. 958 01:27:23,597 --> 01:27:26,191 - I'm not wearing a helmet. - It's mandatory. 959 01:27:26,277 --> 01:27:28,553 Let's put on the helmet then. 960 01:28:12,077 --> 01:28:14,956 Pina, why are you making that face? 961 01:28:15,037 --> 01:28:18,712 Nothing happened! Screw them! Come on! 962 01:28:18,797 --> 01:28:21,516 Let's celebrate! I'm lucky! 963 01:28:23,797 --> 01:28:26,869 I am a very lucky man! 63655

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