Original subtitles

Doctor Bickman would like to see me in two weeks.

Certainly, Mrs. Rosen. Two weeks, two weeks... uhhh.....

Tuesday the 23rd at 3:30. Would that be alright?

Tuesday, yeah, that'll be alright.

I feel terrible.

Thank you, Mrs. Rosen.

Doctor Bickman will see you now.

- Hello, Jackie. - Hello, Dr. Bickman.

I'll be right with you.

Oh thanks.

Ah, that's a very pretty dress you're wearing.

- Thank you. - Very becoming.

- Here we are. - Thank you.

You're in uh, the best health.

I know, thank you.

You have very beautiful skin.

You really ought to be complimented on the way that...

you've taken care of your skin.

Thank you.

Do you have an appointment?

No.

Well, well, I'm sorry. Doctor Bickman's schedule is rather full.

That's OK. You see, I had a filling here

It fell out, you know?

Would you like to make an appointment?

- No. - Doctor Bickman is with a patient.

It's OK. Thank you.

Hey, how you doing?

Who are you and what are you doing here?

I'm Mr. Keneely and this here is Mr. Farrel.

- How are you? - What's wrong with you?

you coming in barging in here like this?

We'd like to talk to you for a minute.

Don't you see I have a patient?

How you doing? Stick of gum?

We'd like to talk to you about a girl named Jackie.

Oh, Jackie's liable to get you written up in all the dental journals.

There is another office where we can talk.

It's right this way. Um...

I'll be right back, Mrs. Storch.

She might even get your face in the cover.

Take it easy, Mrs. Storch.

Really do it in the chair?

I do not know what you're talking about.

Good doctor, please, now wait a minute.

Before we bullshit each other into the middle of next week...

there's a couple things you gotta know.

First of all, we know who she is.

Jackie? We know why she comes here every Tuesday

and we know what she does when she is here.

- In the chair. - Oh, no, no, no.

How would you know anything about her or me for that matter?

We've had a tap on her phone for over a month.

Honest.

That's illegal.

I knew we shouldn't have done it.

You got a waste basket I can throw this in?

Yes there's one right over there.

- Doctor? - Yeah.

Listen, we really don't want to make any trouble for you. Really.

All we want to do is get the girl.

Personally, I don't blame you because she's a knock out.

I'm in love with her, but we do have nail her.

I think I don't think I want to answer any of your questions.

Well, look, I'm going to make a date with her.

I'm going to tell her I'm a friend of yours.

You're no friend of mine.

Well, I certainly would like to be.

Anyway, she's going to be calling you up to check me out.

Like any smart hooker would, right?

And you're going to tell her everything's cool, got it?

I am not going to do any such thing.

Listen, do you have a warrant?

- You gotta warrant? - I don't have a warrant.

- Do you have a warrant? - No. We don't got a warrant.

Then I think you better get outta here.

Well, we can't do that.

We don't have enough evidence if we leave now for a conviction.

It would be embarrassing if we went

in front of the grand jury without any evidence.

Embarrassing for me, for him,

embarrassing for you, doctor.

Pictures, television, Walter Cronkite.

Okay, get out of here.

- No. - Wait a minute.

- I think Dr. Bickman is right. - Huh?

I think we oughta leave and perhaps discuss it...

some other time... a more comfortable place.

Oh I think you're quite right.

- Thank you. - You're quite welcome.

Where would we feel more comfortable?

Oh I Don't know.

Maybe at the doctor's home...

with the doctor's wife and children.

Beautiful idea. The man's got class.

Wait Wait.

Alright. Alright.

I think you men are despicable.

Oh, and you're a Cub Scout, right?

What time you got?

Quarter to six.

Okay, I'll open the door at five to.

You got it.

Nah, make it six o'clock. She's sorta cute.

Terrific.

Have a wonderful time.

I'm gonna sit right down here and protect this very dangerous work.

How about if I come back tomorrow morning?

Hello there.

Hey, how you doin'?

Hi. Are you Mike?

Uh huh.

- Come on in. - Okay.

Would you uh, like a drink?

Oh, no thanks.

It's quite a place you got here.

Thank you.

Where do you know Dr. Bickman from?

Leo?

Oh, we were in the army together.

- Oh. Where are you from? - Chicago.

Oh, Chicago is a nice city.

Yes, if you can stand the weather.

Where in Chicago?

What do you mean, "Where in Chicago?" Chicago.

There is the North Side, the South Side.

- The Near North. - The North Side.

Oh. Do you know where Division Street is?

What are you asking me all these questions for?

Because I think you're a vice cop.

Vice cops? What is it? Is there a cop around here? Listen, I don't want any trouble.

- Take it easy. - I'll come back another time.

-There are no police here. -If I thought there were police...

- Listen, I knew I shouldn't have come here. - Look I told you... don't worry.

- You don't have to worry. - I'm a respected man.

- No, it's alright. - Maybe I'll come back some other time.

- I don't want... - Look, don't worry.

Now, what do you want?

What I want?

Well, you said 100 bucks.

Well, 100 is for a standard job.

If you want something a little bit more...

special... then that will cost a little bit more.

Oh yeah? How much?

That all depends on what you want.

What, you got a catalogue?

This time I'll take the standard job... this time.

Do you want me to take your clothes off?

No, no, I could uh... handle that myself.

Oh.

Is anything the matter?

Oh no, nothing's the matter.

Yeah... no?

I don't know how to tell you this, you're under arrest.

Oh shit. Are you kidding me?

No. I wish I was.

It's after six. Everything OK?

Do you know where Division Street is?

Division Street is in Chicago.

Oh yeah, what part of Chicago?

What the hell do I know? Is everything OK?

Yeah, everything's OK.

I was just asking a couple of questions.

Jackie, Farrell. Farrell, Jackie.

How ya do?

Just fine thank you. I think your partner is a prick.

- So do I.

You better get dressed.

Oh, where's your trick book, honey?

I do not know what you're talking about.

She doesn't know what we're talking about.

I'll find the trick book.

It ain't there anyplace.

It ain't there.

Oh.

Just what the hell do you think you're doing?

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

It's in the cushion on the sofa.

Right.

I knew you'd find it.

Well, let's get going, huh.

I have another appointment at nine.

That little trick kept

everyone's rating in her book.

Very efficient. How did the dentist do?

"Stinkaroo. Tapioca time."

I don't have it here. What time did we bust her?

- You said it was after six. - Okay.

She's got lollapaloozas here, let me tell you.

Yeah, who you got?

Gelbart. That guy from the DA's office.

Yeah? How did he...

250 dollars. That's how he did.

- Man, she was a robber. - Overcharged. Overloaded.

He should have called a cop.

You bet he should have called a cop.

It says his specialty was getting dressed in her underclothes.

For 250 dollars he can wear my underwear.

Boy, I didn't write down nothin'.

What time did we start surveillance?

- Oh, about four o'clock. - Okay.

You won't believe this.

Belinki and Newman made the book.

Those guys from the day shift? How'd they do?

Good.

Terrific. I wouldn't want the department to get a bad name.

Farrell, vice squad.

You sure?

Yeah. Okay.

Sergeant wants to see us.

Oh, good, goody, goody, goody, goody.

Would you like to sit down, Keneely?

- It's OK. - Sit down, Keneely.

Would you like a cigar?

- Farrel? - No, thanks, boss.

Would you like a light?

No, no, I don't smoke.

Then why you got that thing in your mouth for?

I Don't know. I...

These cigars are for shit. I just got a whole box full.

Sent away for them in a mail order thing...

that said they were Havanas. You know, if this is a...

Havana, Castro can keep that whole stinking country.

It is a shame.

Now I have to smoke that whole stinking box of cigars.

It is a shame.

About that hooker you busted, what's her name?

The one that was just brought in?

-Jackie. -Jackie. Yeah, yeah, Jackie.

Well, what about her?

Someone made a phone call.

Keneely, are you sure there wasn't entrapment involved?

Yeah I'm sure. What kind of phone call?

The phone call doesn't matter.

It's just that this girl has some friend someplace.

Oh yeah? Where?

It doesn't matter.

You talking about Rizzo?

Are you sure there's no chance that you've never...

heard her specifically say what she was gonna do for the money?

It's Rizzo.

It's the kind of mistake any cop can make.

Nobody'd be pissed. Happens all the time.

Judge would be delighted to throw the case out in the morning.

You know how overcrowded the courts are.

All you have to do is tell the judge that

that you never heard her say it specifically

state what she was gonna do for the money.

Then there is not enough evidence for a conviction.

Hey, what's so special about this hooker?

You sure you don't want a cigar?

Well, I'm glad that's settled.

Now, about tonight. We had a complaint about that...

Sit down.

About that fruit bar The Cavern.

They got a live show going after hours.

They lock the doors at two and then they put it on.

You guys go in around one thirty, and we'll have

five cars and a wagon there at showtime.

Soon as your ready to make the bust, you open the door.

That will be our signal. Okay?

Okay.

Are you sure you don't want a cigar?

No thanks.

Hey, you know, this isn't a picnic for me either.

Hey, how are you, ladies?

Shove it.

Hey, look at the Electra.

Rizzo's house is really smoking tonight.

He's got a broad in there who does

a trick with a cigarette.

Hard to believe.

I wish we could bust that place.

We couldn't even keep one of his hookers in jail.

Big, tough cops.

Say, would you like a light?

Ah, no, no, I don't smoke.

Just a nervous habit. Very nervous.

No thanks.

No thanks.

Hello there.

Hello there.

My name is Stephen.

Hello, Stephen.

What's your name?

Pat...Patrick.

Are you alone?

Pat's with me.

Her loss.

Come on, Patricia, let's dance.

Hey, Scheherazade, I think we better dance.

Are you kidding me?

Come on, do you want to stand around here for another half hour?

With your badge on your forehead?

This place isn't even gonna close up.

- I'll lead. - Oh yeah? Come on.

If you want to dance, I'm leading.

If you want to dance, I will lead.

Hey, did you do that?

What?

Someone pinched my ass.

Are you shittin' me?

You smell quite sweet. What kind of cologne do you use?

I wish two o'clock would get here. I'm starting to like this.

Would you like to do one of those dips?

Do you mind if I cut in?

Yeah.

Well why don't you ask if Pat minds?

- Do you mind? - I mind!

Pat minds!

Hey there, look, sweetheart, him and me are very tight.

We are gonna pick out drapes next week.

I don't think I like you.

You're holding my wrist.

- I don't think I like you. - You already said that.

We don't want any trouble.

Oh, she's so strong.

Why don't you just leave us alone, okay?

I like it when they're strong.

Why don't you put that away, okay?

Oh, are you going to hurt me, lover?

Hey, what's your problem?

Take it easy, chickadee.

Oh, what's the matter lover?

Aren't you going to hurt me?

This is getting outta hand. Let's get the door.

No, you're not going anywhere!

- Go to the door. - Okay okay okay.

Everybody cool it.

Cool it, we are police cops here. Cool it, we are cops

- There's no trouble here. - Relax, we are the police.

That damn crazy fagot took a hunk out of my leg.

Geez.

What's it all coming to, man?

Where is it coming to?

Are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah.

And that's what I call a nightmare.

- Ugly. Ugly. -Are you guys OK?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I thought we lost these.

Hey, you better have a doctor look at that.

Oh yeah, thanks a lot.

Boy, those boofs are something.

I think I'm going to fart.

"Dear mom and dad. How are you?"

"I'm swell. A fag ate my leg."

“Your son, Michael.”

Oh boy.

Checking out.

Right.

Hey, they give the Rams six points on Sunday.

Take it. Vegas is giving five.

Is that so?

Look, there's that trick book, ah... the hooker's name's Jackie.

- Can I see it? - Sure sure.

Only giving five in Vegas, huh?

Maybe you are right.

I think I'll bet it.

Don't bet too much.

Hey, this isn't the... The pages are empty.

It's not the book I brought in.

It looks like a book to me.

Yeah, well, it's a book,

but it's not the one I brought in.

Can I have the one I brought in?

It says here: "One black loose-leaf notebook."

That's not it.

All I know is what it says here.

Look, will you cut the shit?

- Well, what do you want from me? - I want the book, dammit!

- He doesn't know. - He knows, everybody knows.

Come on let's go.

What's your name?

Magenta.

Magenta?

- Is that your name? - Yes.

That's your legal name?

No.

You mind telling me what your legal name is?

Connors. Harold Connors.

Harold? Harold, uh, do you always like to dress up like that?

You know you're in a fair amount of trouble, don't you, Harold?

Do you know what they did to me last night?

No, Harold.

What did they do to you last night?

Put me in a cell... with a whole bunch of animals.

From what I hear, Harold, you and your friends

can take pretty good care of yourselves.

You. What is your name? Your legal name?

Philip Lampson.

Harold? Harold?

Do you have to hold Philip's hand in my court?

Now do you two people have attorneys?

Uh, I am representing them, Your Honor.

Ah, Mr. Crosby, it's nice to see you again.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Do your clients know their rights?

Yes, they do, Your Honor.

And they know they have been violated.

Really, Mr. Crosby?

They have been subjected to harassment and brutality by the police.

They have been beaten, humiliated...

I'm sure the have, Mr. Crosby. Do they have bail?

Yes, they have, Your Honor. I would like to say...

I'm sure you would, Mr. Crosby.

The defendants are released on 250 dollars bail.

There will be a preliminary hearing in two weeks from today.

- Your Honor, I would like... - I said, two weeks.

Apparently you didn't hear me, Mr. Crosby.

I have a full calendar here.

I would like to get through it before the day is over.

You may leave now.

Oh, and tell your customers not to

break their high heels on the way out of here.

The City of Los Angeles vs. Jacqueline Faraday.

Are you Mrs. Faraday?

Yes, Your Honor.

Mr. Weldman, are you representing Mrs. Faraday?

I am, Your Honor.

Are you the arresting officer?

Yes, Your Honor.

Um, Kennedy?

Keneely.

Your Honor, I realize that it is a bit unusual

to hold a preliminary hearing this quickly.

However, I feel my client need not have these

charges hanging over her head any longer than is necessary.

I would like to thank the court for expediting the matter.

Certainly.

Your Honor, there is a... point of ambivalence in this case.

Rather than have Detective Keneely read his entire report

to save time, I suggest we address ourselves to that point.

Detective Keneely, do you have any objection to, um... Mr. Weldman's suggestion?

No.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Can you speak up?

No no no no.

And would you, ah, please step forward and take the stand?

Detective...

Did you specifically hear Mrs. Faraday

make a indecent proposition to you?

I'm not sure.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Can you please speak louder please?

I'm not sure.

Did Ms. Faraday specifically state she

would perform an act of a sexual nature

for a specified amount of money?

- No. - Louder please.

No.

Thank you, Detective.

Your Honor, there is clearly insufficient grounds here.

I ask that the case be dismissed.

Your request is granted.

And I would like to know why with so little evidence this case

was brought before me?

I don't know.

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America.

And to the Republic for which it stands.

One nation under God, with

liberty and justice for all.

Amen.

Get out of here, man. Take a walk, get lost.

- Get lost. - What the fuck is this, man?

Go on down the road man.

Okay, he is here.

I have arrived.

Oh, cover that up.

Fifty cents deposit if you want to look at the books.

It's refundable toward a purchase.

You talking to me?

Got 50 cents right here.

Tails again.

I was interested in one of your massages.

Ah, you've gotta bad back?

Well, it wasn't my back that I was thinking about getting massaged.

Will you look at that? Some

dudes need all the help they can get, huh.

Massage costs 20 dollars.

20 bucks?

Must be pretty good for 20 bucks.

We have had no complaints.

- Got some pictures? - Oh, sure we do.

Here. Take a look.

Hey, come on. Don't get it dirty.

Well, this one here looks pretty cute.

- What is her name? -Doris.

Doris. Well, she must be pretty good for 20 bucks.

- The best. - Okay.

Point me out to old Doris, I will make history tonight.

Which way? Do I go in the back?

Usually in the back. Which way? Which way? Come on.

- The room back there. - The room back there.

Okay, if you hear an explosion, you'll know it's me.

Hi.

Howdy Doris!

Hello.

Well, you're even prettier than your picture.

You can hang your clothes on the hangers.

Thank you.

What kind of massage did you say I would get for $20?

You get a regular massage, nothing more.

Look at my nose.

Huh?

It's a terrific nose.

Wear it in good health.

It can smell a vice cop at a 100 feet.

What are you talking about?

I just came in here to buy a book.

Ah, what are you doing here?

You know you're not supposed to come around here.

I came to buy a book.

Alright, take anything you want, it's on the house.

Thanks.

Don't take your time.

Listen honey, if I just wanted a regular massage, you know,

I would have gone to a gym. You know what I mean?

If you want something special, the price is different.

Hey sugar, just because I'm a dude from out of

town, don't go treating me like no yokel, you hear?

How much more do you have in mind?

A hand job is an extra ten.

A straight lay is 25.

Twenty-five, huh?

Well, I've got me another 25 and uh...

Hey, Doris, honey.

Yes?

Sorry to have to tell you this, but uh... you're under arrest.

I'll trick for you if you let me go.

Well, maybe in some other life.

Where you getting the stuff from?

These are old marks. I kicked two years ago.

Sure you did.

Hey, Farrell!

Get out of here, honey.

Keneely!

The girl is a junkie and she said this cutie pie here is the supplier.

Where's the stuff, Marvin?

- I didn't tell him anything. - Hey, don't be stupid.

Where's the stuff, Marvin?

Broad's full of shit. I never gave her anything.

- Go away. - Come on, he won't hurt you.

Come on. It is OK.

If the girl's telling the truth,

you're in a lot of trouble, Marvin.

Yeah, you're going to be in trouble.

Mr. Rizzo doesn't like people bothering his places.

Oh yeah?

I got a right to make a phone call.

You don't got a right to breathe.

You lay a finger on me and I'll sue your ass.

I'm laying more than one finger on you.

There's no stuff here.

Oh yeah? Well, we'll find it, won't we, Marvin?

Yeah, I need a warrant.

That creep back there has got a lot of dope in his house.

How do you know?

How do I know? How do I know? I know.

Do you know what time it is?

It's one o'clock Sarge. Why?

Do you think I'm going to wake up Judge

Morrison for a warrant at one o'clock in the morning

Because you think some guy has drugs in their apartment?

Hey, we need a warrant.

And if I wake Morrison and ask him for a

warrant and it turns out that you guys can't find anything,

I get creamed.

We need a warrant.

The girl in there has tracks on both her arms.

And that fat tub holding a ton of dope.

- You think? - I know!

Not for sure!

What do you want, sarge?

Reasonable cause.

I want more than your god damn hunch before I wake up Judge Morrison!

Look for the shit in the morning.

We can get the warrant in the morning.

In the morning that guy will be on

the streets before the courthouse opens,

and he will clean up and it will be your fault.

I'm sorry.

I am not going to wake Judge

Morrison at one o'clock in the morning, period!

I'm not gonna wake up Judge Morrison, period.

I wouldn't wake up a judge for the world.

What is that?

Baby powder.

That's your actual jackpot, brother.

Okay, everybody... Just cool it, don't panic.

get down everybody! Stay down.

We are police officers. Stay down.

Get down.

Get down. Get down, everybody.

Stay down.

Right there!

Hold it!

I'll blow her damn head off.

- Whatya got? - They're up here.

- Come on, let's get them. - No hold it man, Hold it, Hold it.

We got 'em. Let me get help.

We got 'em. Just sit tight. I'll make a call.

I'll make a call.

Where the hell's everybody else?

They are back at the market. What the hell happened?

A whole bunch.

And the bastards responsible for it are up there.

- Where are they? - I don't know. There's three stories.

Any way out the back?

Yeah, my partner's on the fire escape.

Okay, you two take the back, we'll go up the front.

Alright, now give me a minute.

There's two of them, they are both armed.

- What happened? - There's no one up there.

What are you talking about "no one up there"?

Place is clean.

Well, we saw them go into the building.

Well, you may have seen them go in, but

but I guess you just didn't see them go out.

No one came out of the building.

Let's check some of these other buildings.

Look man, they're in the building.

Okay, look, you guys just stay here, okay? Right.

And pay attention, we're going to go back out front and double check.

- That's a waste of time. - Hey, while we're farting around here

with an empty building, they have time

- to get outta the area. - Just stay right there

and fart for another five minutes.

Now watch it!

He think it's a waste of time.

Hey, get out of here.

Hey, rummy, don't shoot me.

Hey, down there it's a wrap. I checked it.

Are you alive?

Any lights in here?

At least got one of 'em.

Hmmm.

I think the Mayor's brother said, should have got the other guy.

Are you guys alright?

Sure

Yeah, yeah, where's the white dude?

- Where's the man who ran out? - He got away.

He got away? What do you mean?

How could he get away?

You guys is standing right there.

He had to go right by you.

I don't know. We fired at him.

I guess we just missed him.

Just missed him?

What are you guys playing with yourselves?

Why aren't you running after him? Why aren't you pursuing him?

We heard shooting, thought you

needed help, so we went around the front.

- You guys let him get away. - Aw come on.

- This is crazy. - These puppets over here let him get away.

What do you mean "it's crazy"?

Why didn't you see them in the first place?

Look, I went through every room and I didn't see nobody.

You. You. Pigs, man.

What are you scared of getting shot or something?

Hey, hey, calm down, will ya?

- I have to put a bullet in your head. - You don't know anything.

Relax, they don't know anything.

Come on, we were trying to help.

-Easy, easy, easy. - We almost got killed in there.

You... pigs.

Get out of here you dirt comet...

Will you get the hell out of here!

Come on, Keneely, let's go man. It's alright.

They don't know nothing.

Come on let's go. Atta boy.

Cool out, man, cool out. They know nothing.

You guys had a busy night.

Look, I know how much guts it took to go after those guys.

Do you know who I've been on the phone with all morning?

The Commissioner. The god damn Commissioner.

I got my ass reamed for half an hour.

For Christ's sake, in the middle of the damn market.

Do you know how many people could have been killed?

Look, if I'm not mistaken, there were three guys

- shootin' their guns at us! - Yes, he's right, Sarge.

I was there. I saw it all.

What happened to that junkie girl, and uh... Marvin?

They were out on bail an hour after you brought 'em in.

- Who sprung 'em? - Weldman.

He was there with his $300 dollar suit and

enough bonds to empty every jail in California.

Did anyone search the joint?

We got a warrant in the

morning, which is more than you guys did.

The place was clean.

How come Carletti and Hyatt aren't in here now?

They weren't shooting at people in

the middle of the damn market.

Oh yeah, they were just letting the guys

who were doing the shooting get away.

- I didn't hear that. - I said, they were just lettin' the guys..

I didn't hear that!

Now. We've been gettin' some complaints about some

perverts in the men's room at the park.

- What? - Why don't you guys, eh...

take a few days and check it out.

Aren't you going to offer us a cigar now?

Look, wise ass, you are not the only cop in the world!

Yeah, you know everything and everyone's a shit except you.

Well, let me tell you something.

I'm not a king, see.

I don't control everything that goes on around here, understand?

I know some things stink.

Well, what do you want me to do about it?

I got a damn phone on my desk and it goes upstairs.

And when it rings, I answer it and say, “Yes, sir.” Period!

The uh, the captain wanted me to tell you guys that uh

as soon as things calms down a little,

he's a, putting you guys up for a citation.

Along with Carletti and Hyatt.

Why'd you guys go in that massage parlor in the first place?

You knew you shouldn't have been there.

Yeah, we didn't know when we went in, so you

can offer our deepest apologies to Mr. Rizzo,

and you can give him a kiss on the butt.

Hey, sucker.

Hello, Mr. Sink.

Mr. Soap. Hello, Urinals. How you doing, Kilroy?

Ah, a bunch of toilet seats.

Looks like my office.

Mr. President.

Yoo Hoo!

Sweetheart, if you're a sex maniac, I'd cool it.

The place is crawling with cops.

My goodness.

Do you want to hear something funny?

When I first became a cop, right?

My mother used to uh, wash my uniformed shirts by hand.

So I used to tell her, "Hey, Lucy, you're crazy."

“I can send them to a laundry.”

And she said, “No, no, no, no, no.”

"It gives me pleasure."

She loved doing it.

Crazy lady.

So, my first beat, they had me

checking locks on the West Side.

All night long checking dumb locks on warehouses

nobody wanted to break into in the first place.

You know, I checked every fucking lock three times.

Once wasn't good enough.

Every fucking lock three times.

Then they had me standin' in front of the

Museum of Natural History, 16 hours a day.

Never sat down once.

Uh uh.

Nobody ever stole that museum when Keneely was standing in front of it.

Shewww.

I did everything they asked, man.

Never complained.

Didn't care what it was.

Did it better than anyone else. And I loved it. I really did.

See, now I come home at night, right?

Thinking, “Hey, you did the best job at checking locks and

and standing in front of buildings than anybody in the world.”

And uh.

I find a fresh pile of clean shirts that my mother ironed for me.

I don't know, maybe we should quit.

I think you're right.

We could be good bad guys, you know?

Pay's better. Better hours. More cooperation from the police.

Well, the Sarge said it.

It's Rizzo, man.

He owns the massage parlor, Marvin works for Rizzo.

That hooker, what's her name?

- Jackie. - Yeah.

Her lawyer is Weldman. Marvin's lawyer is Weldman.

Weldman works for Rizzo.

There's a white guy running around the streets

with a load of dope in his apartment.

And nobody wants to bust him.

And here we are in the shitter.

Why?

Because Rizzo makes a phone call and puts the heat on.

Tell me something, how come Rizzo's out there running around getting

rich and you and me are in the toilet, huh?

You know.

Fact of the matter is...

We uh, get off here at five thirty

and can't nobody complain if we just happen

to drift around the streets together.

Hey, how many Z's are in Rizzo, one or two?

Two.

You know, he belongs in here, not me.

Yeah, well, that's the way the tickets fall, partner.

We're gonna nail that guy.

We've gotta be cool though.

The captain wants us off the streets.

Yeah, well, we just have to stay on the sidewalk.

Champ, how ya doin'?

Excuse me.

How are you doing there, Mr. Rizzo?

- My name is Farrel. That's Keneely. - So what?

Don't you want to know what we're doing here?

I gotta feeling like you're tell me even though I'm not interested.

You figured right. We are the vice cops.

No really?

You know, we're tired of working in the toilets.

Well, nobody starts at the top.

Tell me, you always get this excited?

Well, my doctor tells me to take it easy.

I am carrying too much weight.

Besides, I think I pay enough.

I don't have to worry about two hungry cops, out for themselves.

Don't you wish it were that easy, pal?

You can't buy us, and you know it.

- I'm all chumped up! - You sound it.

Two of your boys got snuffed the other night and

you looking at the cowboys who planned it.

Only, one of them got away, didn't he?

Yep? My boys, huh?

- Yeah. They buy your dope for you. - I don't sell dope.

What, do ya give it away?

I figured we busted up a big score for you

and you know what else I'm betting?

I bet you need to score again, big and fast.

Bad bet.

We're gonna be there when you do, fat boy.

Good for you.

When was it that I made this alleged drug connection?

- Three days ago. - Three days ago,

I was in the hospital. I have a heart condition.

- You can check on that. - OK, I will.

You've been watching too many moving picture films.

Does that kid belong to you?

He belongs to me.

You really think you're hot, don't you?

At least I'm not small time.

What do you tell your kids you do for a living?

Oh, come on, stop it, huh.

My kids are well fed and they are happy.

They live in a big, big house.

They get everything they want.

What do you guys have, huh?

Do you want me to feel ashamed? Because of what?

Because some broad takes off her top in a club?

I don't see my customers hiding

their eyes in their hands.

Why? Because a certain John wants to spend a few nice minutes

with a trick in his hotel room?

What's so bad about that, huh?

What are you saving yourself for, your wedding night?

You guys sit in your public

toilet, you figured it all out, right?

I got where I am by having punks like you for breakfast.

I'll tell you something.

There is one big difference between you and us.

That is a relief.

Yeah, you know what it is?

You're greedy, man. You want it all.

And all we want is you.

Come and get me.

We sure made mincemeat out of him.

You know, that grease ball is acting too confident.

He's not Fred Astaire.

He's just not that smooth, you know?

We've gotta flush him out.

Please don't use the word "flush" in these premises.

He's going to make a move soon, I know it.

Well, let's hassle him a little bit.

We oughta bust the Electra. He'd choke if we busted the Electra.

Yeah, so would the captain.

Yeah, well, that's her problem.

That's funny. I thought it was our problem.

Is that the one who does the trick with the cigarette?

That's the one.

Wow!

Dy-no-mite talent!

- Sensitive girl. - Who? Do you know her?

I can't forget her.

Oh. Hey, does she have a friend?

Oh, here he is now.

How ya doing?

What's vice doing here?

What do you mean? We just coming here to get a little culture.

And watch the girl with the big jugs.

Give these guys a few drinks on the house.

No, let me say this about that.

We like to pay for our own drinks.

Thank you very much.

You’re not even supposed to be here.

Oh. He says we're not supposed be here.

Then what are we supposed to do?

We're supposed to sit right here and watch the girl

with the big jugs do the trick with the cigarette.

That's a good idea.

- Thank you very much. - You're welcome.

Ah, Sir? We're gonna stay.

You know you're not supposed to be here.

What do you mean by that? Just because we are vice squad?

I mean, just because we have, you know,

morals, doesn't mean we can't come in here

and get some good entertainment.

Aren't you aware that young lady has

her mammary glands exposed to this entire congregation?

Is that legal, sir?

- Is it? - Where's your cabaret license?

- Just knock this shit off. - Where's your cabaret license?

It's on the wall.

Why isn’t it over the bar where it supposed to be?

Ah, these freekos, man. These freekos.

It's too dark up there, I need a little light.

- Hey, partner, you got any light? - Light, light, flying in light.

I can't see it. A chair to see it.

Ah Sir, we're from the vice squad and my

friend wants to read what's going on up there,

to see if it's legal for that lady to doing what

she's doing in front of all these people.

- How we got it? - Well, they got a cabaret license in this dive.

Wrong again.

Everything seems to be in order, my friend.

So it's okay.

You tell Mr. Rizzo that the Smith brothers say hi.

Hey how you doing?

I haven't seen you since we busted the place downtown.

Miss. Miss.

Ahhh.....

There ain't nobody here.

I wonder what that asshole's doing coming home so early?

It's just eight o'clock.

Maybe he doesn't want to miss Gomer Pyle.

I guess we ought to hang around and see if he gets any visitors.

Wake up dear.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

It's after seven.

Hey uh, you recognize Rizzo's girlfriend over there?

Yes, he looks familiar. Who is he?

Imagine you're sitting in the middle of a bunch of

fruits and vegetables and somebody’s shootin' at ya.

Yeah.

He has to get ready to score for sure.

We got to do it soon.

- That is very good. Very good. - Thank you.

Quite welcome.

Hey how ya doing?

Hey, I see you two guys climbed out of a urinal for a couple hours, huh?

- Hey, you enjoying the fights? - I got good seats.

Hey, we stopped by your place yesterday.

What place is that?

The Electra. Dynamite house.

- Glad you liked it. - We saw your friend.

I've got a lot of friends.

Yeah, this is the guy who buys your dope.

We saw you chattin' with him downstairs.

Yeah, you're going to score soon, big, huh?

Score?

You guys use a lot of grown up words.

Rizzo, we gonna close you you down.

We're gonna stick to you like your underwear.

You got my permission to try.

Good, 'cause we wouldn't want

to do nothin' without your permission.

I don't blame you.

You guys want to take regular seats and enjoy the fights?

No thanks.

- You can learn something. - Yeah, like what?

I don't know. It's an interesting game.

You know, you gotta know what you're doing, otherwise

you get your head busted playing in there.

You nervous?

I don't get nervous.

I've been working at it too long.

We all know that.

You know what's funny?

What's really funny is that you two guys

really think you're doing something.

I mean, you go around busting 10 dollar hookers,

and beating up on fagots. For what?

For 200 bucks a week, right?

And you act like Captain Marvel® or somebody.

You really think you can sneak around and get Rizzo?

Huh, is that what you think?

Take a look down there.

You see those little people all paid to get in?

You see those little two monkeys in there

beating their brains out inside the ring?

You think I got where I am by letting punks like you get me?

- You're playing with yourselves. - It's going to happen, Spanky.

We're going to bust your ass.

Captain Marvel® saving the world by busting 10 dollar hookers.

Watch out for your cape, Captain.

Make sure it doesn't get caught in places it shouldn't be.

- It is going to happen. - Shazam®.

Two three four...

The man's gonna have to be making a purchase real soon.

We're gonna be there when he does.

What if he spooks, he gets somebody to make it for him?

- Where are we then? - Look, you're puttin' out that kinda bread,

I don't care who you are,

you're going to be there to tasting or smellin'.

We're going to press that guy 'til he falls.

He's going to wash his face, we're going to give him the soap.

I'm with you brother, I'm with you.

I'm also hungry. You want a burger?

- No, get me a pack of gum. - Yeah.

Hello honey, you looking for a good time?

Hey, how ya doin', momma?

- Fifty. - Fifty, huh?

For a good time?

Well, I got 20 dollars for that.

You sure are a cheap honky.

I know that.

- Thirty-five. - Thirty-five bucks, huh?

Well, I don't want to negotiate with you, I got twenty-seven fifty.

- Can you afford a cab? - You bet.

Hey, honey, put that in a bag for me, will ya?

- Coming? Good. - Here.

Thank you, keep the change.

Oh, it's a spiffy place you got here.

Yeah, ain't it?

So, what do I get for twenty-seven fifty?

You get a good time, honey.

Oh yeah? Well, I sure could use a good time.

Why don't you, ah, lie down and make yourself comfortable?

Okay, I think I'll just lie down and make myself comfortable.

Oh, yeah, that's great.

I know honey.

That's incredible.

I know honey.

Turn around, honey.

Hello, Keneely.

You know what, Keneely?

I've got a message for ya.

From a friend.

He said...

Shazam©.

That's all.

Shazam©.

Can ya dig it?

Hey, Farrell.

Hey, partner, I got spiked.

Hey, you cop you, I

just got raped, you mother, I just...

Going to sleep on me now, huh?

Empire State Building just fell on my head.

Hey, come on, don't go to sleep on me...

Oh God.

We gotta get to a hospital, man.

Oh, no, it's my fault it happened, man.

Well don't they know who we are, man.

Listen...

We just gotta stay alive, man, just gotta stay alive.

The captain was very worried about you guys.

He said that he was more concerned for

the safety of his men than with anything else.

And uh, he said that you two would carry your dedication

to the point where you're endangering your own safety.

Well, we can take care of ourselves.

Yeah? Look in the mirror and tell me that, huh.

The captain thinks it's best if you two were split up.

You know, you are each experienced vice officers

and you could really be helping two newer men.

Then we'd have two good teams instead of just one.

Well, what do you want from me?

I'm in the middle and you know it.

What the hell can I do?

You guys had to bust Rizzo's place, right?

You had to follow him around, right?

Hell, you are good guys, you really are.

I know how you feel.

Maybe I'll do the same myself, I don't know.

But you gotta see where I am in this.

Do you know what they wanted to do to you?

You want to know, huh? Bust ya, that's what.

Well, I stopped them and it wasn't easy.

Now my ass is in the sling if you guys step outta line again.

So please... cool it for a while, huh.

You can pick up your new partners in the squad room.

I understand that vitamin E

will clear this up almost overnight.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Well, did you think I outta maybe have like a stronger attitude.

You drive wonderfully, really...

- Well... - Don't get none tickets.

I'll see you later.

Have a good weekend.

You have a good time.

- How ya feelin'? - Oh, just terrific.

I'm really tired of my lunch

through a straw, if you know what I mean.

You know, everybody got somebody at the other end of the phone.

The sarge got the captain.

The captain got Rizzo, Rizzo got somebody else.

We're so fuckin' alone in this thing, it ain't even a joke.

Ain't nobody gonna help us

- You know that, don't you? - Yup, I know that.

Well, what do you want to do this weekend?

Sounds like a good idea.

“Then was Jesus was led up to the Spirit into

the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.”

“And when he had fasted 40 days

and 40 nights, he was afterward hungry.”

“And when the tempter came to him, he said,

If thou be the Son of God,

command that these stones be made bread.”

"But he answered and said, It is written,

Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every

word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”

“Then the devil taketh them up into the Holy City

and sitteth Him on a pinnacle of the temple.”

"And saideth unto him,

If Thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down.”

“For it is written, He shall give

his angels charge concerning thee.”

“And in their hands they shall

bear thee up, lest at any time now….”

He'll miss the part where they killed the goat.

"Jesus said unto him, It is..."

Wouldn't you think the man would at least

have had the decency to stay for the sermon?

The Lord gonna smoke his ass.

With lightning.

Come on, Anthony, down here.

Come on, you sit by your mother.

- I want chocolate chip. - I want a double scoop.

One chocolate, one strawberry.

I want chocolate chip.

You can have ice cream after you finish your lunch.

I don't want lunch, I want ice cream.

Me, too.

You do what your mother told you, alright?

What, what are you looking at?

What are you so quiet for now?

Relax.

Waitress.

-Ain't you hungry yet, man? - No not yet.

I'm starving.

- Piece of gum? - Terrific.

- Here. - You got any ketchup?

Oh, here she comes.

Mr. Rizzo, sir. Very good to see you.

Good evening, Mr. Dynamite. Very nice to see you.

- May we clean the car for ya? - Check the oil? Check the oil?

Service! Service with a smile!

Yay!

- Happy birthday Carl. - Happy birthday Carl.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny! ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny! ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny! ♪

Happy birthday.

Awwww.... isn't that wonderful?

What a touching scene.

He is crying. It's his birthday.

Cut the cake.

I'm going to give him a present.

No, let's don't embarrass him.

Here we go. This one's for you, honey.

Hey, watch it, watch it. It costs a lot of money.

- Who paid for it? You? - Of course.

Okay, keep it going. Pass it down.

What the...

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny! ♪

♪ And nobody can deny! ♪

♪ That nobody can deny! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow! ♪

- ♪ Which nobody...... ♪ - Hey, Rizzo, close your eyes and make a wish.

He's gotta make his buy now, man. He's got to.

Yes, well somebody should tell him that.

Somebody's sick or somethin'.

Hey how you doin'?

Two gentlemen, Mr. Weldman.

You miserable bastards!

Do you think you guys can get away with this? Well, you're wrong!

You're so god damn wrong!

You knew he had a heart condition.

What are you talking about?

You know, it's gonna be a pleasure to sue you two

for everything you have or ever will have.

I'll tell you one thing...

you better pray for his complete recovery.

That's what you better do.

Pray! For his complete recovery.

He had to suspend you.

What the hell do you think he'd do?

Eh?

You guys want a peanut?

No, I can't chew. I need some...

The commissioner is just thrilled.

Oh, he is delirious!

You know, Rizzo is a heavy contributor to the Saint Agnes Orphanage

and he's also a member of the directors of the Civic Opera.

Oh, it's just beautiful.

He had to have a heart attack right now, huh?

Smart guy. Real convenient, right?

We were gonna nail him, man.

He was gettin' nervous to score, I know it.

I hope he dies.

You know I did everything I could.

Say, why don't you guys come in out of the rain, huh?

What rain? That creep Weldman, right?

That guy's a poser acting like some lawyer.

He's trying to sell to us that Rizzo's

got a case history of having a heart condition.

- He ain't got no heart. - Hey didn't he go to the hospital once?

Rizzo told us he went to the hospital, right?

- Sure. - When was it?

It was, uh, after the shootout, right?

- Yeah. - It was during the shootout.

It was, that was his alibi.

Hey, what is that?

A guy goes to the hospital every time he's gonna score?

- You gettin' any message? - I'm gettin' a lot of messages.

- We're dumb, that's the message. - I'm not hearing anything of this.

We're dumb.

You know, this isn't kid's game anymore.

You guys can get killed! You're crazy! You know it?

Can I help you?

Yes, I'm looking for Mr. Rizzo's room.

Oh, Mr. Rizzo is in 5B1.

Oh yeah, where's that?

I'm sorry, you can't go in there.

He is under private care. There are no visitors allowed.

Gotcha.

Let's stick around.

Who's that?

More flowers.

Well, I'm getting tired.

Hey, what if we're not right?

I don't even want to think about that.

- You want some coffee? - No.

Boy, you know, that guy gets an awful lot of flowers.

Even for uh, being on the board of the opera.

Think so?

Yeah. You notice what kind of flowers they are?

- Flowers are flowers. - No, no, they're in pots.

Deep pots. Something else funny.

People go visit him and they walk out with a pot of flowers.

He could give away an awful lot of

flowers, no one knows what's going on.

Excuse me. I gotta call my mother.

It is very important. Thank you.

Hello, can you give me the, uh...

flower shop downstairs, please?

Thank you.

Uh, hello. You guys. This is um, Mr. Rizzo in 5B1.

Ah yeah, hey you guys just sent over some pots

of flowers and uh... No, they're terrific.

And I love 'em, but, one of the pots is cracked,

the water is leaking, you know? It's very messy.

You what?

You didn't send no flowers today to Mr. Rizzo?

Thank you very much.

You? How can you come in here?

How ya doin'?

He's getting along.

Get out of here! Leave my husband alone.

Excuse me, Mrs. Rizzo, we just have to check

something and we'll be gone in just a minute.

Did you ring, Mrs. Rizzo?

- These men! - Oh I'm Sorry, you'll have to leave.

No one's allowed here except the immediate family.

Well, that's not immediate family. That's a creep.

Please get them out of here.

Look, I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave.

As soon as we check something out, we'll be gone in a minute.

Boy, boy, you gotta lot of nice flowers here, Spanky.

Take it easy.

Watch out!

Take another step and you've got a dead nurse.

Get out. And leave her here. Get out!

Rizzo!

Rizzo! Hey, run for it! Go ahead.

Come on, run, fat boy...

Come on, run. Come on, get up and run!

Congratulations, Captain, I give up.

You got Rizzo, huh?

Oooh!

So what the hell do you think you got?

What do you think the charge is gonna be?

Having narcotics in a hospital room?

They're not my narcotics. I didn't bring them there.

Prove I did.

So what next, huh?

I get a year. Maybe.

A year.

So I change my business address for a year.

Then I'm back. Meantime, you two slobs are hanging

out in your sewer making peanuts and I got a vacation.

I could use a vacation.

What?

Pull the trigger, go on.

Complete the job.

Last name?

-Keneely. - Is that ELE or EEL?

EEL.

- First name? -Michael.

- Married or single? -Single.

- Previous employer? - the uh, LA police department.

- Length of employment? - Eleven years.

Reasons for termination of employment?

- Huh? - Uh, why'd ya leave?

Oh I don't know.

I'm sorry, could you please be more specific?

Yeah, um, more specific, um...

Oh, I needed a change, you know? Change.

Take this if you could, Mr. Keneely, to the personnel department.

It's down the hall.

It's the third door on your left.

Third door on the left. Gotcha.