Original subtitles

- Hello, wife. - Hello, husband.

I still can't believe that we're actually married.

It feels like a dream.

It's not, is it?

I mean, I don't mean to be silly

but on the other hand, given our history..

Does that feel like a dream?

Come true.

To be continued..

...in Hawaii.

- You ready? - Ready.

I'm missing a bag. I must have left it at home.

- Oh, do you mind? - Honey..

Something tells me we're not gonna need

a lot of clothes on our honey moon.

No, but this bag has that black teddy you bought me..

...in it.

This bag? This one?

I hope you don't do everything that fast.

There's one way to find out.

What about Hawaii?

Hawaii can wait.

We have been through so much..

...just to get to this moment.

Not now.

Don't move.

Oh, hello.

I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.

Well, more to the point, I hope I was.

Look, I don't know who you are, but..

Well, actually we've met before, Mr. Kent.

Although, I doubt if you'd remember.

- I'm... - H. G. Wells.

He's the one who took us back through time

to save you as a baby.

That's interesting, you weren't supposed

to remember any of that ever happened.

Yes, but you told me about it

when we ran into Tempus the second time.

Oh, actually, you didn't, your older you did.

My older me, really?

That's jolly good. It's nice to know that I have a future.

May I? Do you mind?

- Well, actually... - Oh, by the way..

My older me didn't happen to mention

that I'd be stopping by today, did he?

- Uh, no. - That's too bad.

It would be nice to know if this is all

going to work out in advance, you know?

Well, hopefully I'll remember to tell you next time.

This is a lovely, lovely place you have.

Ah. Thank you.

I think I'm getting a headache.

Oh, great.

It's our honeymoon night.

Which is why I've come, rather urgently, I'm afraid.

At the risk of sounding indelicate, you two haven't..

What I'm trying to say is..

Speaking to the point, you two haven't..

...consummated your marriage yet, I hope.

- What? - No. I mean, not yet. No, no.

Good, good, good, then.

- Then I'm not too late. - Too late for what?

I'm here to help you reverse a terrible curse.

- A curse? - Yes, quite.

Cast upon your love centuries ago

by a wicked, vindictive soul who was bound and determined

to destroy your love forever.

Right. I didn't think you'd believe me

which is why I wanted to confirm my suspicions first.

Tomorrow's headline, if you consummate.

A curse.

Naturally.

Why not?

How did you find out about this curse?

Initially, with, with this.

'In its own way, it's a time machine.'

'But in actuality, it's much more than that.'

I came across it on my future travels to a time

that is quite unlike anything I'd ever dreamed of.

'Anyway, there I met a fellow inventor..'

who discovered a way to identify the energies emitted by souls.

Excuse me?

You see, every soul has an energy field unique unto itself

a cosmic fingerprint, if you will.

No two exactly alike.

Anyway, I use this device to, to track that energy.

Or to be more precise, to, to backtrack it.

Wait a minute, you're not seriously talking

about past lives?

And if I remember, my dear, you were equally skeptical

about time travel when we first met.

Okay, let's just say for argument's sake

that this does what you say it does.

What does that have to do with this curse?

Well, that's how I first found out about it.

I used the device

to track your soul through time.

Why mine?

I just simply chose the most powerful personality I knew.

Superman.

And I discovered something quite remarkable along the way.

It seems that your soul is intertwined with hers.

Like..

...soul mates.

Soul mates?

'Wherever his was, there was yours.'

'Never without the other.'

Two lovers destined to meet and fall in love

'over and over again throughout time.'

Anyway, anyway, that's the good news.

The bad news is unless you go back

to the time of the curse and stop it from being cast

tragedy will strike you down

in every lifetime every time you..

...consummate.

And usually, it's very painful.

Do we even have a choice?

- Abstinence. - No way.

- No, not a chance. Forget it. - Right, right, right.

Well... here goes.

Never actually tried this before.

Where are we?

What am I wearing? Where's Lois?

Duck!

- Ouch. I'm bleeding. - Sorry, I forgot to tell you.

Your super powers don't work in this incarnation.

That's kind of an important thing

to forget, don't you think?

Holy mother of God, the Fox.

We captured the Fox. We got the Fox.

Be sharp, he's a crafty one.

Look, there must be some kind of mistake here.

Drop it.

- Okay. - Well, well, what have we here?

- Tempus? - That's Baron Tempos to you.

- Baron Tempos? - Oh, dear.

'Don't you remember me?'

I'm the bad guy who collects horrendously unfair taxes.

'And you're the good guy who robs me blind'

and gives it all back to the poor.

- Lois. - Clark.

Wa-wa-wait.

- Clark? Who's Clark? - Clark, uh...

She means me. I'm Clark.

Sir Clark of Kent.

Really? Good God, don't tell me

that's what the Saxons are wearing now.

But I digress. Where was I?

Oh, yes, I remember.

Behead the Fox.

No!

Let's see you get out of this one.

Nicely done.

Great shades of Caesar, the ambush worked to perfection.

Three cheers for the Fox.

- Hip-hip. - Hooray.

- Hip-hip. - Hooray.

Perry?

Harry, son.

Friar Harry.

What's the matter, get conked on the head or somethin'?

'Come with us, baron.'

Take your hands off of me or I'll run you through.

'I said unhand me, you churls.'

'The crime for roughing up a ruffian is decapitation.'

Clark, you're hurt. Are you okay?

- Yeah. - I've got a better idea.

Why don't I take your gold, then run you through?

Wait, wait, no.

If we stoop to his ways, we're no better than he is.

Let's just make him walk home in defeat..

...without Lady Loisette.

That's a great idea.

Humiliate the man.

'Alright, alright, you heard the Fox.'

Let's move. After you, baron.

You have not seen the last of me.

- Move it. - You'll burn in hell, Friar.

'No, hell's too good. I'll send you to Ireland.'

I should've known an incarnation of Tempus was behind the curse.

I mean his hatred of Superman transcends time.

Wait a minute, I have a few questions.

Why are we here dressed like Robin Hood and Maid Marian

and you haven't changed one bit?

Perhaps, the answer lies in the fact

that this is about your lives, your circle of friends

your destiny, see, not mine.

I'm merely a guide.

Like a, well, a narrator in a play.

Then why am I here? I'm not even from this planet.

Perhaps Clark Kent isn't.

But your soul, it comes from a place beyond planets

beyond time where we, where we all come from.

The power of your love is what

brings your souls together time after time.

You see, that is the one absolute.

Wherever she is, you are.

Together but eternally teased.

Milord.

Mom, Dad?

Milord, time is short.

'You should come with us to our cave'

before Baron Tempos returns with his troops.

She's right, sir.

If Tempos discovers

your secret identity, he'll have your head.

Oh no, not this secret identity stuff again.

- Find me Sir Charles, now. - Yes, milord.

Really, sorcerer, you must stop talking to rodents.

It completely undermines your credibility.

Baron, I feel a strange magic.

A force unlike any other has entered our sphere.

Never mind that I have more pressing concerns.

The Fox has stolen Lady Loisette from me.

And I simply can't have that.

I hate it when the hero gets the heroine. It's so cliche.

Why do you want to force her to marry you anyway?

Simply to rule over her fiefdom?

Why, sure, power's fun.

But the added bonus is that it will destroy

the Fox because she's his girl.

That's why I want you to make her love me.

Would that I could, sire.

Unfortunately, spells can enchant, and they can damn

but they can never force the ways of a heart.

You're sure about that?

You've talked to all the other sorcerers?

- Positive. - Very well.

I'll try a more conventional approach first.

But if that fails, I want you to prepare

your most diabolical curse and doom their love for all time.

Gladly.

I'm not saying I'm buying into any of this stuff yet.

But it is kind of bizarre that.

Tempus of all people is behind the curse.

I mean, if it was Lex Luthor, I could understand, but..

What?

It's the pants, isn't it? They're too tight.

No, no. They're perfect.

I just never get over how well defined you are.

Thank you.

Oh, here, let me help.

You know what I was thinking?

That we need to get back to our honeymoon ASAP.

That's what I was thinking.

- Yes? - So sorry about that.

Yeah, but your parents just told me something very interesting.

It seems that Sir Charles and Lady Loisette

are secretly in love.

And that is why he, the Fox, you, ambushed Tempos

to get her away from him.

Sounds like something I'd do in any life.

Yes, the problem is that could very well be

the event that triggered the curse, you see.

If so, we could already be too late.

Your horse, milord.

Come, come, you can beg better than that.

That'll be all, squire.

- Sir Charles? - Jimmy?

Milord?

Never mind. Where's Tempos?

He's been looking all over for you. I'll tell him you're here.

So now you're being nice to me, eh?

Nice rat. What's his name?

Her name is Morgana.

She's my wife, actually.

At least she was until I caught her in the arms of another.

Perks of being a sorcerer.

Wait till you see what I'm cooking up for the Fox.

What have we here?

My prized knight has deigned to make an appearance, has he?

Your eyes betray you, my friend.

You don't much like stooping to me, do you?

As a rule, no, baron.

That's what I like about you, Charles.

You're fearless.

Which is precisely why I want you to duel the Fox.

- In my name, of course. - That's impossible.

Impossible, why?

Because..

...the Fox is on the loose.

Well, not for long, I assure you.

He will be captured, and when he is

you will defeat him for all to see.

And after the Fox is vanquished once and for all

I will marry Lady Loisette and live happily ever after.

Clark, it's about time. I was getting worried.

I'm supposed to be out searching for the Fox.

Baron Tempos wants me to duel him for your love.

You fighting you for me? Well, that should be interesting.

What about the curse, has it been cast yet?

I don't think so. You do not wanna mess with that sorcerer.

The guy's married to a rat.

Pardon?

The point is, the original Sir Charles

came back for Lady Loisette like I'm doing.

But he ran off with her, never to return.

Which means Tempos wasn't able to marry her.

Well, that must be what triggered the curse.

The question is, how can we stop the curse from being triggered?

Who wants wild boar?

Something wrong?

Hey.

Did you ever wonder if our relationship was jinxed, Clark?

Not just here, but everywhere.

What do you mean?

I mean jinxed like it's not meant to be.

Just look at everything we've had to overcome.

- Lois. - Clark, I'm serious.

Maybe we're missing the obvious here.

Maybe it's time we stopped pretending

and start looking at the writing on the wall.

I mean, it just seems like every time we turn around

every time we try and take the next step

something is in our way trying to keep us from getting there.

When you add it up like that..

...it's a lot.

Maybe that's the point.

Maybe what this really is, is a test

to see how badly we wanna be together.

Maybe it's up to us to decide if it's meant to be.

What do you think?

I think there's a very good reason

why we're soul mates.

Forgive me for interrupting.

Are you kidding? We could set our clocks by it.

Yes, yes. Quite right. So sorry but time is of the essence.

And I think I have an idea.

What would you think if we found a way

to have the Fox duel Baron Tempos himself

and lose to him?

It might keep the curse from ever being cast, I guess.

And you could return to your honeymoon.

But that would leave the Fox to spend the rest of his life

at the mercy of Baron Tempos.

Isn't that preferable to the alternative?

Him having to endure the first of a

never-ending string of tragedies?

What about Lady Loisette?

We can't just let her be stuck with the baron.

If I know her, and I think I do

she can handle him.

- Lois, I... - Clark.

I wanna go home now.

I wanna turn on some soft music

and open that champagne and finish

what we started in the 20th Century.

Foreplay is great, but this is ridiculous.

I'll need my green tights.

Twelve o'clock, turn around.

Heard you were looking for me, Tempos. Careful, careful.

You wouldn't wanna make a martyr of me, would you?

Search the area for Lady Loisette.

After all, foxes mate for life.

Tempos. Looks like it's just you and me.

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm a baron, I have people for that sort of thing.

I only duel nobility.

Where is Sir Charles?

Right in front of you.

Sir Charles, you're the Fox? I love it.

Well, of course, it all makes perfect sense.

Never in the same place at the same time.

Always ducking away and returning with some lame excuse.

I can't believe I was actually fooled

by a little mask over the eyes.

Duh. Join the club.

'Sir Charles is right.'

This fight to the death is between him and me.

Fight to the what?

- Oh, dear, dear. - You two.

What are we gonna do? If you let him win, he'll kill you.

I know. But maybe that's the only way.

Are you crazy?

What would happen to me or Clark if Sir Charles, you know?

Yes, well, I'm not sure. Although, souls never die.

So, it really shouldn't affect Clark.

Is there a more noble way to die than for love, Sir Charles?

I don't wanna die.

But if that's what it takes for us to be together, it's easy.

Clark, no..

- Clark. - Alright, Tempos, you want me?

- Come and get me. - With pleasure.

Drat. My sword.

Sir Charles.

I hope you believe in the afterlife.

No. Stop. Wait.

If you spare his life, I'll marry you.

- Lois. - Well, that's touching.

But if I don't spare his life

you'll be forced to marry me anyway.

What do I get out of the deal?

The one thing you can't force. My fidelity.

- Lois, you can't. - I accept.

On one condition, non negotiable.

Sir Charles is to leave the country, never to return.

Not that I don't trust you, milady.

But why tempt temptation?

He accepts.

I can't let you die.

Fetch the bishop.

Tell him he's got a wedding to perform.

No, no, no. You must not.

No, remember what you're doing it for.

Have faith in your love.

We're back at "The Planet".

- Yeah. Quite good. - Where's Lois?

Lois, well, I'm not quite sure.

- What? - Well, just, Lois, Lois.

Where is Lois?

Lois, are you alright?

Yeah, I think so.

We're back.

We did it.

- We reversed the curse. - Lois.

Honey, what in the King's name are you doing here?

Lois, shouldn't you be at your wedding now?

Don't you mean our honeymoon, Jimmy?

Ah, great shades of Elvis, have you lost your mind?

'What's the matter with you?'

Better not let Tempus see you doing that.

Tempus?

Oh, dear.

I'm afraid something's gone terribly wrong.

Tempus a king? We don't even have kings.

Plus, he is supposed to be in prison.

- What is going on? - I don't know. I don't know.

- I don't know. - Look..

You said, if we reversed the curse

we'd be able to consummate our marriage.

Well, we reversed it, didn't we?

By changing history, yes.

But, we didn't have a choice.

That was the only way to stop the curse.

History is held in delicate balance

with infinite consequences to even the most remote

or seemingly insignificant change.

'So it's quite possible to..'

Well, that by allowing Baron Tempos to defeat the Fox

we unwittingly allowed evil to defeat good

in a time and place it had not done so before.

'You see, that, over time, could very well have shifted'

the balance of power in the favor of evil.

Which would explain why Tempus is now a king.

I'm afraid so, quite.

Can't we just have a honeymoon like a normal couple?

Is that too much to ask for?

Alright, we obviously can't leave things the way they are.

So, what do we do?

We must go back and defeat Tempus this time.

We must shift the power back to good.

But won't that trigger the curse again?

No, not if we travel back

to a more recent incarnation of yours, you see.

To a time when curses didn't exist.

You mean, a different lifetime?

Yes, as a matter of fact

that's... precisely what I mean.

Just another day in the life of Lois and Clark.

Oh, boy.

Hey, what's goin' on?

'Come on, get up front.'

'Get up there, boy.'

'Any final words, Lone Rider?'

Reveal your secret identity perhaps?

Lone Rider?

Last chance, Lulu.

Just say the magic words, darlin', that's all I require.

Magic words? I don't..

Lulu?

Alright, Tempus Tex. That's enough.

Come on, let him down.

You forget what happened to the last three sheriffs, sheriff?

Tick-tock, darlin', tick-tock.

Very well.

- Pull! - No, no!

If you spare his life, I'll marry you?

- No. - I accept.

On one condition, non negotiable.

The Lone Rider is to ride out of town, never to retur..

Whoa. Talk about your déjà vu.

Whoa.

Shoot, missed high.

You made a wise decision, Lulu.

You and your dowry are gonna make me a very rich man.

- Can you whistle? - What?

Whistle.

- Hey. - Come here, boy.

After him, you cretins.

My hero.

- Pretty romantic, huh? - Very.

Hello, hello. So sorry to interrupt.

Some things never change.

In any lifetime.

Alright, I beat Tempus and I got Lois back.

Now, let's get out of here before they catch up to us.

If only if it was that simple.

Now, wait a minute, you said that Clark had to defeat Tempus.

- He did that. - Well, temporarily perhaps.

You see, I just had a conversation with a passing..

What do you Yanks call them?

Yes, a buckaroo, who informed me

that Tempus Tex is holding hostages near and dear to Lulu.

Insurance, apparently, to, you know

make sure that the wedding goes through.

The short of is you haven't defeated Tempus

until you've saved them first.

Great.

Did the buckaroo say where.

Tempus was holding them or who it was?

Unfortunately, no, no, no.

- 'Over there. Run.' - What are you doing?

'I'm looking for your secret identity.'

Tempus said you had one.

Dual personas does seem to be a part of your destiny.

Yeah, and trouble seems to be part of mine.

Bingo.

You sure this is gonna work?

Oh, please. Who are you talking to?

Hurry.

Get.

Oh, thank goodness, there you are.

I'm so glad you're here.

Is that a fact?

And where, pray tell, is that pesky Lone Rider?

He rode off.

And I screamed for help and I was rescued

by this... mild-mannered telegraph operator.

Really? Well, how fortuitous, sir

that you just happened to be here.

Out in the middle of nowhere.

Miles from the nearest telegraph.

Have we met before?

You look awfully familiar.

- I have that kind of face. - So you do.

I don't even wanna know who you are.

Well, come, my dear.

We better get on with our wedding

before you require any more rescuing.

I'm forever in you debt, sir.

I trust our paths will cross again.

Bet on it..

...sir.

Alright, I signed the prenuptial agreement.

Now, why don't you release the hostages?

Hostages? What hostages?

Is that the only reason you signed over your land to me?

Because I've got your parents

strapped to an old barrel of dynamite?

My parents?

That's who you're holding? Oh, you are evil incarnate.

Why, sure, is that a bad thing?

In any event, I don't have anything

until I have your hand.

I feel like I've been chasing that forever.

That said, if you don't become my wife in exactly 10 minutes

I'm afraid next up on the preacher's docket

will be mom and dad's funeral.

Ten minutes?

Alright, let's get this wedding on the road here.

He's got my parents tied up to dynamite.

And it's gonna go blow up in 10 minutes

unless I marry him which means evil wins and we're screwed.

Don't worry, I'll find them.

This sounds like a job for..

- Uh, the Lone Rider. - Yes, quite.

- Shall we? - Ladies and gentlemen.

We're gathered here today to join

these two fine people in holy matrimony.

I'm not used to doin' this without the flower girl.

'Sweetie, maybe you..'

He must have them rigged to some kind of trigger mechanism.

Where do we start? We got five minutes.

Perhaps it would be helpful to think in terms of

where the Tempus as we know might hide them.

Why?

Well, we've seen how each soul expresses itself in a unique

yet consistent manner from lifetime to lifetime.

And it's that consistency, that fingerprint

which time cannot erase.

I mean, it is who we are and always will be.

Do you, Tempus Tex, take this woman

to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold...

I do.

Sorry, this is the point where the villain accelerates things.

Now skip on down.

Okay, let's see, he's, he's power hungry, vindictive, evil.

Perhaps a more specific character trait.

One that categorically defines him.

- Well, his ego without a doubt. - Yes.

That's why he has a camera here

almost before they were even invented.

Leave it to Tempus to..

Wait a minute.

The camera.

Since when did telegraph lines run to outhouses?

And how many are guarded?

Come on.

Do you, Lulu, take this man

to be your lawfully wedded husband to ha...

- Skip on down, reverend. - Blah, blah, blah.

- Till death do you part? - Answer the good reverend.

Could you repeat the question?

Oh, yes, quite.

Terribly sorry, I didn't realize that there was a line.

Whoops, old habit.

Woo-hoo hoo! Not bad for no super powers, huh?

Wait, you're Lois'..

Lulu's parents?

Time's up, Lulu. It's now or never.

Well, in that case, I think I'll choose never.

And in your case, Tempus, I do choose never. Literally.

Why, Lulu, I'm crushed.

Jilted at the altar was not part of my plan.

Well, I guess this fairy tale gets an unhappy ending.

Take the picture, George.

Now.

Alright, Tempus, it's over.

- You've run out of lives. - Whatever that means.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I hate to lose.

Especially to you. Willing to die for your love, are you?

Wouldn't be the first time.

Quite good, quite good. Doesn't that hurt?

Yeah, but I'm kind of starting to like it.

Alright, sheriff.

He's all yours.

'Gladly.'

I'll see you at home, honey.

I wanna talk to Mr. Eastman about that new camera of his.

'Okay, honey.'

Let's go, Tempus.

So you're my parents?

Of course.

Apparently, you were left on their doorstep as a child.

Isn't that weird?

I wonder if you got my parents?

You saved our town from the evil Tempus Tex.

How can we ever repay you?

You already have.

Or will.

It is, uh, time.

- We have to go. - But we'll see you soon.

We're back.

I think.

Yeah, but did anything change?

Lois.

Honey, what in the King's name are you doing here?

Wait a minute. King? Did you say King?

Well, yeah, sure.

Hey, ace, do I know you?

Hey, aren't you two supposed to be on your honeymoon by now?

Our honeymoon? So far so good.

The paper. Where's the paper?

"Congressman resigns over controversy."

- Oh, what a relief. - Congressman?

- Did we miss a scoop, Jimmy? - What about Tempus?

- Is he still the king? - Tempus? King?

What the hell is she talkin' about?

Uh, she's had a really long day, chief.

Oh, okay.

Come on, Jimmy, let's let these two lovebirds find their nest.

'Right, chief. Hey, have fun, you guys.'

Oh, I'm sorry.

- Excuse me. - No problem, Jimmy.

Hey, Jimmy..

...something tells me that you should ask her out.

Really? You think she'd say yes?

Trust me.

Well, the curse is broken. Good and evil are in balance.

And love has conquered all.

Destiny has blessed you both with each other

'no small gift indeed.'

There's many people who travel alone through..

Well, their whole lives

and envy what you two have together greatly.

Try to remember that the next time

the Gods decide to test you.

Now..

...where were we?

Hello, husband.

Hello, wife.

Now, that's what I call getting carried over the threshold.

Hmm. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Oh, wow, I'm beat.

You're kidding.

Honey, please tell me you're kidding.

Don't move.

You know, I know this is our first time and everything.

And I really want everything to be perfect.

But if you had your heart

set on Hawaii..

...I'd really understand.

You were saying?

Didn't spill a drop.

I don't want anything to cloud this moment.

A moment we're destined for.

That's what makes it so special.

I love you, Clark Kent.

I love you, Lois Lane.