All language subtitles for Anger.Management.S02E27.Charlie.Dates.A.Serial.Killerʼs.Sister.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-alfaHD_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:03,351 So the Vietnamese carjacker that used to do my nails 2 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:06,876 just got out and now I don't have anyone to do my pedicure. 3 00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,530 I'm so sorry. 4 00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,141 I hope the guy who does your waxing is in here for life. 5 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,667 Hey, Wayne, anything you want to talk about? 6 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:19,019 Nope, I'm good. 7 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,021 You've been staring at the wall for the last 40 minutes. 8 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,284 You want to turn your chair around and join the group? 9 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,852 No, thank you. If I look anybody in the face, 10 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,725 I'll just want to bite their eyes out. 11 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:32,467 Oh, come on, Wayne, I'd like to think that you and I have 12 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,165 developed a bond of mutual trust. 13 00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:42,912 The problem is, they want to add another 18 months to my sentence. 14 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:46,133 So instead of being here until 2144, 15 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:50,615 I guess you'll be stuck here until September 2145. 16 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:53,270 [ all laugh ] 17 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:56,099 It's not funny. 18 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:59,624 I'm gonna miss another beach season, Charlie. 19 00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,626 So why did they change your release date? 20 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,803 Well, they reclassified one of my murders as a hate crime 21 00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,327 'cause the victim was half Cherokee. 22 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,938 I'd never kill a man 'cause of the color of his skin. 23 00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:11,288 That's true Wayne. According to your file... 24 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,424 that is about the only reason 25 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,861 you haven't killed. 26 00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,820 We're all the same on the inside. 27 00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,084 At least from what I've seen. 28 00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:36,487 [ beeps ] 29 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:39,011 Excuse me, miss, do you have any piercings down there? 30 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:41,579 Hey, hey, Bruce, how about phrasing that a little less personal, 31 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:45,931 like, "Excuse me, miss, do you have a chandelier in your foyer?" 32 00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:48,543 That's very sweet, but these are just my earrings. 33 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,197 Okay, just right through that door. 34 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,981 Thank you. 35 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:54,114 I mean, he kinda jumped to conclusions, didn't he? 36 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,419 I know, but... 37 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,639 he was right. 38 00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,120 These are decoys. 39 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:03,123 You have my complete attention. 40 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,127 - Charlie. - Wynona. 41 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,912 Look, I wish I could talk, but I'm here visiting my brother Scooter. 42 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,522 Ah, that's too bad. 43 00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,176 I was gonna see if you wanted to grab a cup of coffee. 44 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,353 You know, sure. 45 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:17,963 Scooter's not going anywhere. 46 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:21,532 He tried that once, but they caught him. 47 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:24,579 I need to warn you, though, the coffee shop's not nearly as exciting as this place. 48 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,233 There's no one there patting you down 49 00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,235 or checking for piercings. 50 00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:31,281 Unless I really knock this coffee thing outta the park. 51 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:35,851 You know, Wynona, 52 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,375 we've been sleeping together for a couple of weeks now. 53 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,726 I think it's about time we went and got that coffee. 54 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,860 [ theme music playing ] 55 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,733 Thanks for coming out with me, Patrick. 56 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,735 I've been feeling kinda lonely lately. 57 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,085 I'm between relationships myself, 58 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:56,176 but I tend to eat away my depression. 59 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,961 That's why I've never been "six-pack abs gay." 60 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:02,573 I'm more "Mini Cooper sweater vest gay." 61 00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:05,881 Hey, Nolan, can I get you guys a couple beers? 62 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:07,143 Thanks, Daley. 63 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,624 By the way, did you ask? 64 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,627 Yeah, but my boss, he's not gonna put pizza rolls on the menu. 65 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,455 But if you want pizza rolls, 66 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,370 you can always come to my place tomorrow night. 67 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:19,068 I have a microwave and a Jacuzzi. 68 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,505 I can't make it. 69 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,420 But I'd definitely use the microwave to make the pizza rolls. 70 00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:26,597 The Jacuzzi will just make them all soggy. 71 00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:30,166 Sure, I'll get you guys those beers. 72 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,907 Are you nuts? 73 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,257 You just said you're lonely, 74 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,651 and she was blatantly hitting on you. 75 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:40,263 Actually, I have plans with Lacey tomorrow night. 76 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,265 She's gonna be getting undressed by her window, 77 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,267 and I'm gonna be in my car watching. 78 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:48,010 That's not "plans with Lacey," that's a misdemeanor. 79 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:50,926 It's not like she doesn't know I'm out there. 80 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,624 It's an unspoken game we've been playing for months. 81 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:54,843 You're delusional. 82 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,714 Come and see for yourself. 83 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,325 I will, but only to prove to you 84 00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,283 that you're living in a fantasy world. 85 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,807 And you just passed up a real opportunity 86 00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,635 with a great girl like Daley 87 00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:08,291 for some bizarre stoner version of "Rear Window." 88 00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,296 Ernesto, you seem upset. 89 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,776 Anything you want to talk about? 90 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,647 I told Wayne to quit looking at me. 91 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,823 He said he's gonna eat my eyes out. 92 00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,652 [ sighs ] He's not gonna eat your eyes out. 93 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:23,959 Wayne, tell Ernesto you're not gonna eat his eyes out. 94 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,917 I'm gonna eat his eyes out. 95 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,921 Oh, Wayne, we know that's an empty threat. 96 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,707 Last time you attacked a guy, you only plucked out one eye, 97 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,013 and you couldn't even finish that. 98 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:37,102 Why are you so mad at Ernesto? 99 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:40,062 My baby sister came to see me the other day 100 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:43,413 and this unworthy son of a bitch started hitting on her. 101 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,633 I see, and how did that make you feel? 102 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:48,418 I was angry, but she was all, 103 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,159 "It's okay, Scooter. 104 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,422 Don't hurt him, Scooter. 105 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,556 Let him live, Scooter." 106 00:04:55,599 --> 00:05:00,082 Scooter? 107 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:03,825 It's what she calls me. 108 00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:06,436 When I was little, I beat up a kid and took his nickname. 109 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,310 And just for the sake of conversation, 110 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,181 did you-- does your sister have a name? 111 00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,314 - Wynona. - [ coughs ] 112 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:19,188 And if I find out any of you even looked at her, 113 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:23,061 I'll stab you in the heart with a fork. 114 00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,889 Well, the important thing is 115 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,936 that Wayne has a sister that he cares very much about. 116 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:31,287 And no one here has even seen her or talked to her. 117 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,334 Except Ernesto. 118 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,645 - Hey there. - Hey, buddy. What's going on? 119 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:45,388 Well, I finally got the window fixed on my car. 120 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,824 They named a sandwich after me 121 00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,044 at the little cafeteria downstairs from my office. 122 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,915 Oh, and I'm dating a serial killer's sister. 123 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,831 What? Oh, my G-- how the hell did that happen? 124 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,965 I go in there and I order the same thing every day, turkey and avocado-- 125 00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,923 No, no, no, I mean the serial killer thing. 126 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:02,231 I know, I know, I know. I'm still trying to figure out what to do. 127 00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,494 I met her at the prison, had no idea who she was, 128 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,888 and now I'm convinced her brother's gonna kill me. 129 00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:09,107 How's he gonna kill you? He's locked up. 130 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,413 Of course. You're right. 131 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,850 Now she's gonna kill you. 132 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:15,810 Your girlfriend was spawned from the same horrific 133 00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,681 genetic pool that her brother was. 134 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,814 I know, I know, there's all this research about 135 00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,772 if one sibling has sociopathic tendencies, 136 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,426 odds are the other one will too. 137 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,386 Break up with this girl, man. Break up with her now. 138 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:30,564 I'm a black man yelling at the movie screen of your life. 139 00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,870 Don't go in the basement! 140 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,133 And I'm the white guy sitting in front of you 141 00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,832 who wants to say, "Be quiet," but I'm afraid. 142 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,533 Patrick: Don't you even feel the least bit creepy sitting here 143 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,883 waiting to peek at someone through their window? 144 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,668 Nolan: It's not creepy, it's like we're on a date. 145 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:51,236 Patrick: This is all in your head, Nolan. 146 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,022 Nolan: No, it's not. Look through your binoculars. 147 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:59,462 Five, four, three, two-- 148 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,595 see? Told you. 149 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:04,075 Patrick: So what? So she opened up her blinds. 150 00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:05,599 Nolan: Keep watching. 151 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,209 Patrick: So what? So she opened up her robe. 152 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,690 Nolan: Keep watching. 153 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:12,736 Patrick: Okay, so she's got a feather duster. 154 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,259 I'll admit that's odd. 155 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:17,654 Nolan: Keep watching. 156 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:21,484 [ Nolan laughs ] 157 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,487 Patrick: I can't believe she's doing this on purpose. 158 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,271 I am calling her. 159 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,972 [ phone ringing ] 160 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:40,111 Hey, Patrick, I'm in the middle of a date right now. 161 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,504 Can I call you back? 162 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,202 Patrick: A date? Anyone I know? 163 00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:47,423 Just some hot guy. Probably a basketball player or something. 164 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,121 Patrick: Really? Where did he take you? 165 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:52,863 Nowhere, just a swanky new club. 166 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:56,432 Patrick: That's funny, I don't hear anything in the background. 167 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,087 Oh, well, yeah, that's because it's this hot new place 168 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,393 called... Silence. 169 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:04,135 No one's allowed to talk. Everybody's looking at me, I gotta go. 170 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,140 Nolan: Well? 171 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,838 Patrick: Okay, you're right. 172 00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,144 But what does it tell you? That she's embarrassed, 173 00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,625 ashamed, and doesn't want to admit it's even happening. 174 00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:18,933 Nolan: That she's in a relationship with me! 175 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,291 Isn't this place great? 176 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:32,990 Yeah, I mean, it's the middle of nowhere. How did you find it? 177 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:36,603 Oh, this guy I used to date when I first moved to LA brought me here. 178 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:40,215 I love this spot, but he turned out to be a real ass clown. 179 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,739 Something you should know about me. 180 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:46,003 Ever since I was a kid, I've been terrified of ass clowns. 181 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,790 Yeah, I try to avoid the ass circus altogether. 182 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,970 Oh, damn it, I hit the trunk latch. 183 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,537 You know what? Let's just leave it. 184 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,583 Nah, somebody might think we need help. 185 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,891 And we know what we're doing, don't we? 186 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,206 Is everything okay? 187 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,252 Yeah. I'm fine. 188 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,602 Are you sure? 189 00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:22,518 You really shouldn't keep a bottle of bleach in the trunk. 190 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,303 It could spill. But that's probably why you have 191 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:29,351 the shower curtain in there-- to protect everything. 192 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,615 Like the roll of duct tape that's there for apparently no reason at all. 193 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:39,187 Also, why do you have an axe? 194 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,928 Yeah, I really wish you wouldn't have seen that. 195 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,191 Me too-- I mean, why? 196 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:46,020 Because I'm a slob. [ nervous laughter ] 197 00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:48,370 Yeah, all that stuff is in there from fixing up my bathroom, 198 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,807 and the axe is from last Christmas when I cut down my own tree 199 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,157 and just left it there like a lazy bones. 200 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:57,074 And where does one cut down their own tree in Los Angeles? 201 00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:59,076 There's fir trees all around. 202 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,514 I mean, look, over there, there's one right behind you. 203 00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,473 Ah, that's okay, I believe you. 204 00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,434 What's with the private session, Charlie? 205 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,480 Well, Wayne, you are making so much progress 206 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,743 that I thought we'd try a new exercise. 207 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,313 I'm gonna present some hypothetical anger triggers 208 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,967 and you're gonna tell me how you might respond. 209 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,099 It's tough to say, but I guess I'd 210 00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:25,799 take a ballpoint pen and try to punch a hole in your windpipe. 211 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:29,411 We haven't started yet. 212 00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:31,674 Oh. 213 00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:35,112 Okay, okay. First hypothetical-- 214 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,724 I noticed that you had a visceral reaction 215 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:40,422 to the idea of Ernesto dating your sister. 216 00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:43,860 Is this something you feel with any guy that tries 217 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,254 to date your sister? 218 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,517 Is this about you and my sister? 219 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,520 - What? - Yeah, we talk. 220 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,826 What did she tell you? 221 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,610 Everything. 222 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,700 Oh. 223 00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:00,529 Welcome to the family, Charlie. 224 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:04,359 I look forward to being Photoshopped in all your family pictures. 225 00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,187 Look at us, we're practically kinfolk. 226 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,845 Wayne, I'm wondering, do you and your sister share any... 227 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,717 unusual personality traits that might be viewed as 228 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,720 outside the social norm? 229 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,418 Well, we both have perfect pitch. 230 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,204 Hmm. 231 00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,554 D-sharp. 232 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:29,689 Sometimes siblings share certain traits like, you know... 233 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:32,169 perfect pitch... 234 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,389 killing people. 235 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,086 I get what you're saying, Charlie. 236 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,045 Don't worry, she was adopted. 237 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:42,310 Wow, I gotta be honest, I'm really relieved. 238 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,529 I started to think that maybe she was, you know... 239 00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:48,316 - Gonna kill you? - Yeah, with an axe. 240 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,361 I found one in the trunk of her car. 241 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,886 Oh, no, she's back to that? 242 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,365 Back to...? 243 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,237 Cutting down her own Christmas trees. 244 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,629 That's an industry, Charlie. 245 00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,631 She should be buying that from a reputable ex-con 246 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,591 in a dirt lot behind a tire store. 247 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,376 So she was using it for a Christmas tree. 248 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,726 Hmm. 249 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,119 D-sharp again. 250 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:13,776 I'll be up here, hmm, you meet me down there, hmm. 251 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:17,084 [ both humming ] 252 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:21,262 Anyway, I've been ashamed of what happened 253 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:22,829 my whole life. 254 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,831 Ed, this is a safe place. 255 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:28,443 I promise, no matter what you say, nobody here will judge you, 256 00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:31,054 because judgment makes us small, Patrick and Lacey. 257 00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:36,581 Okay. 258 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:41,282 I was born different. 259 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:44,024 When I was 10 years old, 260 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,460 I had to have 261 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:49,203 one of my nuts removed. 262 00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:52,684 When the kids at school found out about it, 263 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:55,122 they threw acorns at me and yelled, 264 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:58,473 "Here! We found your nut." 265 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,171 [ laughs ] 266 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,786 I'm so sorry. I thought you were done. 267 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:11,486 Ed, I apologize. It must be difficult only having one testicle. 268 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,314 Oh, no, no, I have two. 269 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,838 Oh. Oh! 270 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,188 [ laughs ] 271 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,191 I'm gonna stop talking now. 272 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,893 Okay, we'll talk about the damage that did to you next time. 273 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,025 See everybody next Thursday. 274 00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:33,943 Oh, hey, Nolan, I'm gonna go to the Merry Peasant tomorrow night. 275 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:37,642 Do you want to join me? I bet that waitress who likes you will be there. 276 00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,079 Cool, I'll meet you there at 8:00. 277 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:42,996 Does anyone know when this heat wave is gonna end? 278 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,999 I heard it's gonna be even hotter tomorrow night. 279 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:50,220 I think I'm gonna have to start sleeping in a wet T-shirt. 280 00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,658 Sorry, I can't make it tomorrow. 281 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:57,358 Family emergency. My aunt is... 282 00:13:57,401 --> 00:14:00,796 fine. It was totally unexpected. 283 00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,714 You are despicable. 284 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,020 What? 285 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,935 I was with Nolan last night. 286 00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,414 You were? What'd you see? 287 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,678 Everything. I am trying to get him a social life, 288 00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,942 and you're keeping him from having a real relationship. 289 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,639 If you cared about him at all, 290 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:21,034 you will stop jerking him around... or start. 291 00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,123 Oh, come on, it's no big deal. 292 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,908 Like you've never danced in a window for a guy. 293 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,910 This is not about me. 294 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:33,568 How about I get us a couple of beers? 295 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,483 That sounds great. 296 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,484 So, wait a minute, wait a minute-- 297 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,226 where did you learn all that? 298 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:42,446 After high school, all the girls in the graduating class went to France, 299 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,318 and I stayed home and banged their boyfriends. 300 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,843 Cool. 301 00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,936 Can I borrow your robe? 302 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,591 Gonna take a shower. I left all my clothes downstairs. 303 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,201 Wynona: Oh, yeah, no problem. 304 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,341 Huh. 305 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,908 [ shouts ] 306 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,825 Uh, what happened? 307 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:17,525 Oh, nothing. It's just a noise I make when I'm really happy. 308 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,875 [ mock shouts ] 309 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,833 You looked in the closet, didn't you? 310 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:25,098 Animal skulls? Who said anything about animal skulls? 311 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:28,971 Charlie, they're just roadkill heads. 312 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,017 J-j-just roadkill heads? 313 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,497 Yeah. It's a hobby of mine. 314 00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:36,022 Ah. 315 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:38,285 Yeah, if I see little animals on the side of the road, 316 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:42,767 I skin them and boil them and display their heads. 317 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,553 Oh, good, good, I was afraid it might be something weird. 318 00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:50,819 Wow, you're really freaked out, aren't you? 319 00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:54,518 Oh, it's because my brother's a serial killer. 320 00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,651 That shouldn't matter because he's not even your real brother. 321 00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,131 You were adopted, right? 322 00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:01,525 Kinda. I was adopted away from the family. 323 00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,440 I'm sorry, what? 324 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:07,270 Oh, yeah, apparently, I was a handful. 325 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,012 Mom and Dad were always worried about Wayne's safety. 326 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,535 So they sent me away. [ chuckles ] 327 00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,409 Wayne, when you told me she was adopted, 328 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,019 you made me think she wasn't your real sister. 329 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:20,153 Charlie, my family crest features a Trans Am, 330 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:24,287 a broken lawn mower, and a dead guy looking for his Trans Am. 331 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:29,466 We are not the Vanderbilts. 332 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,860 You cannot trick me into liking her. 333 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,557 I'm sorry about that. 334 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,342 I care about her a lot, Charlie, 335 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:38,040 and I want her to have a chance at a relationship with a nice guy. 336 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:41,826 Yeah, but she's crazy. She has a necklace made of kitten teeth. 337 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,655 I've seen 'em. They go with everything. 338 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:46,092 You know what, I'm sorry. 339 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,790 I can't do this. I have to break up with her. 340 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:52,881 I'm just scared that she's gonna put my boiled head on a shelf. 341 00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,709 You got any ideas? 342 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,190 I don't know. She tends to react 343 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,235 pretty badly when a fella breaks up with her. 344 00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:00,715 Then why don't you take the heat off of me? 345 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,369 You tell her it was your idea. 346 00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:06,242 She does look up to me as kind of a urbane man of the world. 347 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,679 I've been to six different county lock-ups, 348 00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:12,248 numerous small-town pokeys, and a Mexican prison... 349 00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:15,425 that might've just been a really dirty motel. 350 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,387 Nolan: I don't understand. She's 15 minutes late. 351 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,606 She's never been late before. 352 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,435 Patrick: Maybe she finally realized 353 00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,394 that she's been holding you back. 354 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:31,050 Now come on, let's go to the bar. Daley will be there. 355 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,661 Nolan: What if she needs help? Maybe she's hurt. 356 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:36,272 Maybe when she went to open up the blinds, 357 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,100 she got distracted by her shadow, 358 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,884 accidently wrapped the cord around her neck, 359 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,061 and almost hung herself. 360 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,541 Patrick: That happened to you, didn't it? 361 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,717 Nolan: Maybe when I was a kid... 362 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:48,980 and last week. 363 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:52,027 Patrick: Nolan, you can do better. 364 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,074 This is a very low bar. 365 00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,382 Let's go. 366 00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,471 [ car engine starts ] 367 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,868 [ gasps ] Oh, no. 368 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:28,063 It's not just that she had all these creepy little rodent skulls, 369 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,718 it was that she named them after famous killers. 370 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,241 Two of my favorites being 371 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:36,419 Lizard Borden and James Squirrel Ray. 372 00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:38,160 So what'd you do? 373 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,119 Did you grow a pair and break up with her? 374 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,859 No, no, no. 375 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:44,471 I asked Wayne to talk to her for me. 376 00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,081 Interesting choice. 377 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,170 When it comes to affairs of the heart, 378 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:52,174 no one can match the delicate touch of a serial killer. 379 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:55,308 - Charlie! - Wynona! 380 00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:58,963 How's it going? 381 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,792 Not good. Who's your friend? 382 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:04,534 Detective Mike Bowman, LAPD, 383 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:07,015 and my mom knows I'm here. 384 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,974 Look, Charlie, I just finished talking to my brother 385 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,151 and he said he's going to have us both killed if we keep seeing each other. 386 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:14,065 Oh, my God, no, that's terrible. 387 00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,416 Well, he does have friends on the outside, so we have no choice 388 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,113 but to never see each other again. Take care. 389 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,984 No, no, no, don't be afraid of Wayne. 390 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:23,292 I mean, you're his therapist, you can change his mind. 391 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:26,817 This is really hard for me to admit, but... 392 00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,907 I am a terrible therapist. 393 00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,998 It's true. He's worthless. 394 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,435 Thank you, Michael. 395 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,741 I've known him for a long time, I've seen his work. 396 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,744 There's lab rats with more insight into human psychology. 397 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,355 So there's nothing you can do? 398 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,052 One of his patients actually died 399 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:47,011 from banging his head into a brick wall out of frustration. 400 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:50,972 Thank you, Detective, she gets it. 401 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,715 I'm sorry, Wynona, 402 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:58,675 I wish there was another way, but there's not. 403 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:01,591 I don't want to risk your safety, so... 404 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,246 you should go. 405 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,683 I'm sorry. 406 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,860 I have to walk away now. 407 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:13,603 [ whispers ] Mostly because all I have is a little blue spatula. 408 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:22,133 It doesn't matter now. Nothing matters now. 409 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:33,057 I want you to have this. 410 00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:35,277 His name is Ted Bunny. 411 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:39,760 Oh, like Ted Bundy. That's cute. 412 00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,591 Good-bye, Charlie. 413 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:47,333 Good-bye, Wynona. 414 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,683 Whenever I'm traveling down the highway 415 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:53,034 and I see some roadkill, 416 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,905 I'll think of you. 417 00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,606 [ sobbing ] 418 00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:05,655 A spatula? 419 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,224 [ creepy voice ] Yes... 420 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,879 a spatula. 32496

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