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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:00,915 --> 00:00:02,478 I need a gun. Why? 2 00:00:02,498 --> 00:00:04,940 I'm worried he's going to find me and get me. 3 00:00:04,952 --> 00:00:06,030 - Neil? - Yes! 4 00:00:06,042 --> 00:00:08,393 Maybe it's a good idea if I find my dad? 5 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,044 My mother. She's moving in here. 6 00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:11,817 - Ricky! - Mum! 7 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:15,861 Come here tomorrow at 2:30 and let's talk face-to-face. 8 00:00:15,873 --> 00:00:17,018 Karen's collapsed! 9 00:00:17,031 --> 00:00:19,475 It's OK, it's OK, it's just nervous exhaustion. 10 00:00:19,499 --> 00:00:21,317 Oh, yeah. You're going to be 15, soon, Ricky. 11 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,596 - 16! 16. - 16. 12 00:00:22,612 --> 00:00:24,603 Why don't you have a party? 13 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,240 - This is your night, man. - I'm going to lose my shit tonight. 14 00:00:29,248 --> 00:00:33,348 You're not. Hey, hey. You're not. 15 00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:34,510 Cheers. 16 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,165 Stop! Stop! 17 00:00:37,825 --> 00:00:39,367 OK. Do it again. 18 00:00:39,428 --> 00:00:41,528 THEY SCREAM 19 00:00:43,787 --> 00:00:45,147 I just love your voice. 20 00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:47,146 - What are you doing? - Yeah, I'm reading. 21 00:00:47,187 --> 00:00:50,470 - What are you reading? - I'm reading an article in an online journal. 22 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,089 Read it out to me. 23 00:00:53,214 --> 00:00:54,527 Why are you being so weird? 24 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:57,412 What do you reckon would happen if you snorted chocolate? 25 00:00:59,909 --> 00:01:01,204 What are you doing? 26 00:01:01,248 --> 00:01:03,523 What should I do? Wait for it to melt or something? 27 00:01:07,647 --> 00:01:08,930 I'm sorry... 28 00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:12,160 I love you. I miss you. 29 00:01:12,164 --> 00:01:13,876 Listen, we shouldn't be here. 30 00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:16,395 - Go and have fun at your party. - I love you. 31 00:01:16,405 --> 00:01:17,680 OK, I love you, too. 32 00:01:18,016 --> 00:01:19,235 Goodbye. 33 00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:22,042 It's a dick holding another dick... 34 00:01:22,091 --> 00:01:23,815 ... who's holding a spliff. 35 00:01:32,694 --> 00:01:36,453 MUSIC: Superstylin' by Groove Armada 36 00:01:49,206 --> 00:01:52,532 Come on, you fuckers, dance! 37 00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:14,377 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 38 00:02:14,403 --> 00:02:17,063 RINGING TONE 39 00:02:35,565 --> 00:02:38,052 - Hello. - Hello, Richard. 40 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:41,513 A lacuna has emerged in my online schedule. 41 00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:45,090 I thought we could just smuggle in a supervision session. 42 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,676 I am... 43 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:51,156 - You're not making any sense at all, Richard. - No, I'm sorry. 44 00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:55,166 - Have you had a party? - No, yes. Yes. No. 45 00:02:55,181 --> 00:02:57,534 Well, I haven't, but my son had a party, 46 00:02:57,549 --> 00:02:59,871 so I need to deal with this first. 47 00:02:59,881 --> 00:03:02,709 Can I call you back in... a couple of days? 48 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,885 There are some professional, ethical issues 49 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,853 - that we do need to discuss. - Yeah. 50 00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,221 - Are you an alcoholic? - No. 51 00:03:10,137 --> 00:03:11,508 Denial... 52 00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:14,467 Have you taken any mind altering substances? 53 00:03:14,497 --> 00:03:16,161 - Paracetamol. - How many? 54 00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:17,355 11. 55 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,570 I mean, I do want to talk to you, just not today. 56 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:25,005 The thing is, Richard, part of the point of this clinical supervision 57 00:03:25,031 --> 00:03:28,293 is that I'm supposed to see the warts and all. 58 00:03:28,299 --> 00:03:30,732 - Yeah. - So, whatever you're going through right now... 59 00:03:30,738 --> 00:03:33,237 - Yeah. - I advise you to tell me about it. 60 00:03:33,257 --> 00:03:36,160 I'm going through... nausea. 61 00:03:37,562 --> 00:03:39,778 - Anxiety. - Yeah. 62 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:41,705 I could do with a poo. 63 00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:43,855 - Do you want to go away and do that? - Or? Can I? 64 00:03:43,870 --> 00:03:45,575 - Yeah. - OK. 65 00:03:45,605 --> 00:03:47,154 Thank you, Miss. 66 00:03:50,092 --> 00:03:51,100 Richard. 67 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:52,371 - Yeah? - How are you doing? 68 00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:54,799 - You all right, you good? - Did you? Have you? 69 00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:56,609 - What's going on? - Did you mortgage... 70 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,435 - Did you mortgage the house? - Look, 71 00:03:58,450 --> 00:03:59,527 I've got something else I need to talk to you about. 72 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,389 No, no, no. 73 00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:02,624 Look, this is really important, man. 74 00:04:02,673 --> 00:04:05,201 I think we should invest in Bitcoin. 75 00:04:06,638 --> 00:04:08,394 - What?! - Bitcoin, let's do it. 76 00:04:08,402 --> 00:04:10,106 - What the fuck is big coin? - Bit! Bit! 77 00:04:10,115 --> 00:04:13,174 I don't want a bit of a coin, I want my fucking house remortgaged. 78 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,440 - You're going to need it, trust me. - I don't have any money, Ryan. 79 00:04:15,461 --> 00:04:17,169 I don't have any money. 80 00:04:17,181 --> 00:04:18,990 I have nada money. 81 00:04:19,002 --> 00:04:20,885 You're the only person who can get me out of this. 82 00:04:20,905 --> 00:04:22,541 I don't want that pressure, man. I can't. 83 00:04:22,557 --> 00:04:24,520 Well, you've fucking got that pressure, Ryan. 84 00:04:24,593 --> 00:04:25,840 You've got that fucking pressure. 85 00:04:25,864 --> 00:04:28,300 - I think you should take it somewhere else. - Have you remortgaged the house? 86 00:04:28,316 --> 00:04:29,351 You should take this somewhere else, 87 00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:30,502 - I can't do this for you. - Answer me. 88 00:04:30,525 --> 00:04:32,181 - I can't. - Answer me! 89 00:04:32,181 --> 00:04:33,257 No, I haven't. 90 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,563 You're fucking kidding me, Ryan? 91 00:04:39,688 --> 00:04:41,599 - You are fucking kidding me? - Argh! 92 00:04:41,623 --> 00:04:43,736 I need that money. I can't... 93 00:04:43,756 --> 00:04:45,320 - _ - He's going to... 94 00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:47,998 Oh, God. 95 00:04:48,778 --> 00:04:50,628 I don't know what to do, Ryan. 96 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,537 _ 97 00:04:54,626 --> 00:04:56,500 He's going to kill me. 98 00:04:58,237 --> 00:04:59,405 Who's going to kill you? 99 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:02,279 - Hello. - Karen Muller, or Karen Pitt. 100 00:05:02,841 --> 00:05:03,906 - Pitt? - Pitt. 101 00:05:03,983 --> 00:05:05,315 - Katharine Pitt? - Yeah. 102 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,767 Yes, it looks like she was discharged. 103 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,160 Discharged, when? 104 00:05:09,285 --> 00:05:10,403 - This morning. - RINGING TONE 105 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:12,544 OK, bye. 106 00:05:16,373 --> 00:05:17,472 Hello? 107 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:19,939 Oh, hello, how about you, big man? Are you good? 108 00:05:20,327 --> 00:05:22,160 - Sorry? - I said, how about you, big man, you good? 109 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,630 - Bitumen? - Bitumen? 110 00:05:23,632 --> 00:05:24,663 - What? - Who? 111 00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:25,670 Pardon? 112 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,179 - Is this Sam Travis? - You well, big man, yeah? 113 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,369 Yeah, I'm fine. 114 00:05:30,432 --> 00:05:33,494 - I want you to help me with a problem. - Yeah. 115 00:05:33,547 --> 00:05:37,226 You see, I've got a problem with my voice, with my speech. 116 00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:38,934 - With your voice, yes. - I was riding my bike, 117 00:05:38,946 --> 00:05:40,774 and a taxi door opened, and I got a bang on the head. 118 00:05:41,236 --> 00:05:42,962 - You got a bang on the head? - Went in a coma. 119 00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:46,378 When I come out of the coma, I talk like this. 120 00:05:46,382 --> 00:05:48,170 How did you talk before you went into the coma? 121 00:05:48,192 --> 00:05:49,878 Different, yeah? You ken? 122 00:05:49,886 --> 00:05:51,467 Was your voice higher, or lower... 123 00:05:51,472 --> 00:05:53,005 Aye, it was an octave and a half higher. 124 00:05:53,025 --> 00:05:55,057 - Are you being funny with me, sunshine? - No, I'm trying to... 125 00:05:55,069 --> 00:05:57,187 Are you some kind of singing coach or something? 126 00:05:57,194 --> 00:05:58,554 What do you want to know that for? 127 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,060 Well, you said you speak differently now. 128 00:06:00,072 --> 00:06:02,225 I'm just trying to work out how you spoke before! 129 00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,177 - My name is Sam Travis. - Right. 130 00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:05,653 And I'm no' from Scotland, 131 00:06:05,674 --> 00:06:08,325 - I'm from Sevenoaks in Kent. - You're from Sevenoaks? 132 00:06:08,352 --> 00:06:10,409 I've got foreign accent syndrome. 133 00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:13,162 Right. I mean, it's a charming accent. 134 00:06:13,178 --> 00:06:14,364 - Are you taking the pish? - What? 135 00:06:14,412 --> 00:06:16,262 - Are you taking the pish? No, I'm not taking the pish. 136 00:06:16,282 --> 00:06:18,780 I'm no' Scottish. I dinnae want to sound Scottish. 137 00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:19,991 I dinnae want to be Scottish. 138 00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:21,893 It's a beautiful country, the Highlands are stunning. 139 00:06:21,912 --> 00:06:23,027 Inverness, to the Highlands. 140 00:06:23,035 --> 00:06:24,751 I was watching Homes Under The Hammer one time... 141 00:06:24,804 --> 00:06:26,868 - Right. - ... a man bought a house in Inverness for £1. 142 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,110 How's that make the rest of us feel south of the border? 143 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,746 - Right. - Like, stupid. 144 00:06:31,915 --> 00:06:33,152 How long's it been? 145 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:36,926 Well, I was in a coma for three months, and it's been another four. 146 00:06:37,672 --> 00:06:38,792 Can you help me? 147 00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:40,312 BUZZER 148 00:06:42,459 --> 00:06:44,729 - What do you want? - I can smell sick on your breath, Richard. 149 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,227 OK, fair enough, you can. I've been a bit sick this morning. 150 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,245 - You're like 44, or something, aren't you? - So? 151 00:06:49,272 --> 00:06:50,430 So, what have you come round to say? 152 00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,904 You've foisted Mum on me, and now you've come round to what? 153 00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,309 I haven't foisted Mum on you. You initially asked me. 154 00:06:55,326 --> 00:06:57,536 You asked me if I would take Mum at the time. 155 00:06:57,552 --> 00:06:59,113 You couldn't, cos you didn't have a spare room. 156 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,205 Yeah, I didn't have a spare room. 157 00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,598 Because Chrissy lives in the spare room. 158 00:07:01,614 --> 00:07:04,049 She sometimes sleeps there, she has to get up early for lectures. 159 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:06,135 Where does she sleep elsewhere, in a youth hostel? 160 00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:08,972 She sleeps with me. 161 00:07:09,795 --> 00:07:12,064 - Does she? - We share a bed. 162 00:07:12,189 --> 00:07:14,812 - Right. - You know, obviously those are details 163 00:07:14,819 --> 00:07:17,574 that I don't necessarily need to share with you. 164 00:07:17,592 --> 00:07:20,178 But, in this circumstance, I need to explain. 165 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,660 It's OK for Mum to come and live with us. 166 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:23,985 Me and Chrissy have talked about it. 167 00:07:24,017 --> 00:07:26,422 We think that this isn't a good environment for her... 168 00:07:26,432 --> 00:07:29,020 - What? What? What? - ... because of your breakdown. 169 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,497 Richard, it's almost like you're blocking her from me. 170 00:07:31,523 --> 00:07:32,844 Why are you holding on to her? 171 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,810 OK, can I just not have my turn on her? 172 00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:37,436 Your turn on her? She's not a fucking dodgem! 173 00:07:40,133 --> 00:07:41,292 BUZZER 174 00:07:42,698 --> 00:07:44,099 Shut up and listen. 175 00:07:44,112 --> 00:07:45,223 OK, we're listening. 176 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:48,043 I'm going to take Mum off your hands. We're going to go to Dubai. 177 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:49,597 What is this, rent-a-mum week? 178 00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:50,972 Dom, it's really fine. 179 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,181 I don't know what Richard said to you, it's really fine. 180 00:07:53,194 --> 00:07:54,592 Me and Mum have talked. 181 00:07:54,672 --> 00:07:58,667 She's definitely sure she wants to be with me and Chrissy. 182 00:07:58,675 --> 00:07:59,872 Me and Chrissy. 183 00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,819 Chrissy and our sister are lovers. 184 00:08:02,838 --> 00:08:04,962 Why do you have to say "lovers" like that? 185 00:08:04,969 --> 00:08:06,552 Why do you have to make out like it's something... 186 00:08:06,565 --> 00:08:08,365 OK, Chrissy and Catherine are fucking. Is that better? 187 00:08:08,368 --> 00:08:11,016 - We're in a relationship. - And how does that have any effect 188 00:08:11,036 --> 00:08:12,290 on Mum's death? 189 00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:15,330 - Have you been... - Yes, death! 190 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:18,159 - What? - Three months, liver cancer. 191 00:08:18,551 --> 00:08:22,477 So, I have used a contact in Dubai and I will be taking her 192 00:08:22,497 --> 00:08:25,136 to a beautiful hospice, where she can spend the last days 193 00:08:25,152 --> 00:08:27,901 of her life with a little dignity, not fighting 194 00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,924 and I think she'd rather be with dark, handsome men 195 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:32,608 than a couple of lesbyterians. No offence. 196 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:35,756 Sleeping like an angel. 197 00:08:39,828 --> 00:08:42,337 Mum, safely asleep in my house. 198 00:08:42,369 --> 00:08:43,632 Aww, bless her. 199 00:08:43,672 --> 00:08:45,146 Where are you going? 200 00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:48,024 Mummy. I know you're sleeping, 201 00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,526 but I've got to go. Mum? 202 00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:51,991 Mum? 203 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:53,804 OK. 204 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:55,880 Sorry, where's my mother? 205 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,712 I don't know. 206 00:08:58,085 --> 00:08:59,121 Richard, 207 00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:01,740 she's not here. Where is she? 208 00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:04,711 Well, you're looking after her tremendously, Richard. 209 00:09:04,727 --> 00:09:06,792 - Mum! - Where the fuck is she? 210 00:09:06,832 --> 00:09:08,539 - Jose? - Mr Pitt? 211 00:09:10,878 --> 00:09:12,182 - Where is she? - I don't know. 212 00:09:12,194 --> 00:09:14,254 - Have you done something to her? - Of course not. 213 00:09:14,282 --> 00:09:16,272 - You're supposed to be looking after her. - I am. 214 00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:19,001 I'm providing care, I'm really looking after her. 215 00:09:19,032 --> 00:09:21,067 She said you abused her. 216 00:09:21,118 --> 00:09:23,486 - No way, Jose. - I don't think we should be arguing 217 00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:24,708 about whether or not Mum's dying. 218 00:09:24,737 --> 00:09:26,169 - Whether it's a good thing or bad thing. - All I'm saying is Mum told me 219 00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:28,072 - she was dying. - Mum told you she was dying, 220 00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:30,027 but the doctor told me she wasn't, so she isn't. 221 00:09:30,051 --> 00:09:31,301 - Go look for her. - I will. 222 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,001 Look in all the pubs. There's one on the corner, 223 00:09:33,017 --> 00:09:35,874 and one that's about 40 yards further up. Call me. 224 00:09:35,899 --> 00:09:38,174 I will look in every pub and I will call you, Mr Pitt. 225 00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:41,794 - I will solve this problem. - RINGING TONE 226 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,665 - Abs. - Hey. 227 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,487 - What news? - Karen's coming back today. 228 00:09:47,506 --> 00:09:48,888 - Is she OK? - Yes, she's fine. 229 00:09:48,911 --> 00:09:50,265 Don't worry, I've booked her a cab. 230 00:09:50,281 --> 00:09:52,432 So you haven't got to worry about anything. 231 00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:55,283 - Is she coming here today? - Yeah, it's all fine. 232 00:09:55,568 --> 00:09:57,536 OK. Are you all right? 233 00:09:57,712 --> 00:09:58,779 I don't know, Richard. 234 00:09:58,782 --> 00:10:00,301 - You don't know? - I lost my job. 235 00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:01,852 - I haven't got any savings. - Haven't you? 236 00:10:01,871 --> 00:10:04,614 Fiona's been arrested for fraud, so I think that's the end. 237 00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,450 Of everything, really, for me. 238 00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:09,215 OK, well, you need to come back and just get your act together, 239 00:10:09,232 --> 00:10:11,099 and it'll be fine. 240 00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:13,434 Look, man, I'm just going to... 241 00:10:14,845 --> 00:10:15,956 I'm just going to go. 242 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,299 You're going to go? OK. 243 00:10:17,345 --> 00:10:20,041 - Well, thank you for looking after Karen for... - No, I'm going to go away. 244 00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:21,232 - You're going to go away? - For a long time. 245 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,027 OK, take a break. That's a good idea. 246 00:10:23,032 --> 00:10:25,354 - I'm just going to walk, Richard... - Good, fresh air is good for you. 247 00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:27,598 - ... in the mountains. - Oh, well, that's even better. 248 00:10:27,623 --> 00:10:28,841 For as long as it takes. 249 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,855 As long as what takes? 250 00:10:31,046 --> 00:10:32,920 Abs, what does that mean? 251 00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,307 Where are you... Abs? 252 00:10:34,736 --> 00:10:36,563 BUZZER 253 00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:43,630 - Yo, man. Does Richard Pitt live here? - Yeah. 254 00:10:45,404 --> 00:10:48,017 - Dad? - Dad? 255 00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,867 - Dad? - Dad! 256 00:10:53,392 --> 00:10:55,351 - Dad! - Dad. 257 00:10:56,164 --> 00:10:57,717 - Jackson. - Hey. 258 00:10:57,992 --> 00:10:59,569 Jackson, what are you doing here? 259 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:03,251 OK, I've flown halfway across the world to tell you this. 260 00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:04,987 You told me to go and find my father. 261 00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:07,108 - Right. - And I have, OK? 262 00:11:07,512 --> 00:11:09,166 - Me and you got on, right? - Yeah. 263 00:11:09,179 --> 00:11:11,614 - You helped me, you changed my life. - Good. 264 00:11:11,614 --> 00:11:14,198 That's why it brings me overwhelming happiness 265 00:11:14,211 --> 00:11:15,491 to tell you that... 266 00:11:15,989 --> 00:11:17,569 ... you're my father! 267 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,371 - What? - I found you. 268 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,745 Jackson, I'm not your father. 269 00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:25,772 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 270 00:11:25,779 --> 00:11:26,840 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 271 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,735 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 272 00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:30,130 OK, 273 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:33,158 I have a photo of the two of you. 274 00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:34,892 - The two of who? - You and my mom. 275 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,027 - That's not me. - Yes, it is. 276 00:11:36,041 --> 00:11:37,136 No, it's not. 277 00:11:37,592 --> 00:11:39,816 - Sorry. - OK, her name's Chanel Bailey. 278 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,885 - Means nothing. - I'm from Silver Lake California. 279 00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:43,329 I have never been there. 280 00:11:43,656 --> 00:11:44,978 OK, I'm 24 years old. 281 00:11:44,992 --> 00:11:46,516 24 years old. 282 00:11:47,519 --> 00:11:48,572 Do you know what, it's fine. 283 00:11:48,588 --> 00:11:49,754 I knew you'd react like this. 284 00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:53,122 And that's why I propose that we do a DNA test. 285 00:11:53,148 --> 00:11:55,022 - What?! - And let's confirm what I already know. 286 00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:56,236 I know that you're my dad. 287 00:11:56,255 --> 00:11:59,091 If you just do the test, we'll get the answer that I know is true. 288 00:11:59,121 --> 00:12:01,004 - I'm not doing a DNA test. - Do a DNA test. 289 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,086 - No. - Why? 290 00:12:02,119 --> 00:12:03,194 Because it's weird. 291 00:12:03,207 --> 00:12:04,602 - What are you talking about? - It's not weird. 292 00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:05,982 - Don't deny your son. - RINGING TONE 293 00:12:05,988 --> 00:12:08,109 I've got to get that, my mum's missing. 294 00:12:08,135 --> 00:12:09,336 Grandmother's missing? 295 00:12:09,592 --> 00:12:11,124 She's not your grandmother. 296 00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:20,539 - MESSAGE CHIMES - Any news? 297 00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:22,300 No, I haven't seen her anywhere. 298 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,699 - I looked in every pub, every restaurant... - Right. 299 00:12:24,712 --> 00:12:27,101 - ... every wine bar. - She's nowhere. OK. 300 00:12:27,226 --> 00:12:29,581 - Who's that? - Oh... that's Jackson. 301 00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,401 - I'm his son. - He's not my son. 302 00:12:31,495 --> 00:12:33,240 - We're getting a DNA test. - No, we're not! 303 00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,691 Listen, you can buy a DNA test from any chemist in the high street. 304 00:12:36,768 --> 00:12:38,014 Great! 305 00:12:38,918 --> 00:12:39,987 Jose! 306 00:12:40,112 --> 00:12:42,000 - MESSAGE CHIMES - Oh, er, I gotta go. 307 00:12:44,468 --> 00:12:46,170 - Hello. - Hi! 308 00:12:46,192 --> 00:12:48,479 - Hello, hello. Hi. - Look where I am. 309 00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:49,943 - Look where I am. - Where are you? 310 00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:52,171 - I'm at the hospital. - Oh! 311 00:12:52,187 --> 00:12:55,276 My sister has woken up. She's OK. 312 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,941 - She's awake? - Yes, hang on. 313 00:12:57,154 --> 00:12:59,716 - Wow! - I know, I know. 314 00:12:59,722 --> 00:13:01,425 It's like the best day I think I've ever 315 00:13:01,451 --> 00:13:03,076 - had in my life. - She doesn't look very awake. 316 00:13:03,076 --> 00:13:05,783 Well she's asleep right now, but I had a phone call last, um, well, 317 00:13:05,789 --> 00:13:10,044 last night from the hospital. She's basically going to be fine. 318 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,517 She is alive and well. 319 00:13:11,565 --> 00:13:13,601 She's sleeping now, and any minute, she'll wake up. 320 00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,172 - And I'm going to be here. - Incredible! 321 00:13:15,182 --> 00:13:18,307 - I feel I should leave you two to it. - No! You have to be here. 322 00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:19,637 This is because of you. 323 00:13:19,653 --> 00:13:21,567 - Oh, it's not because of me. - You have changed my life! 324 00:13:21,577 --> 00:13:24,627 - I'm not sure about that, but... - Yeah, Oh, my God! Hello. 325 00:13:24,752 --> 00:13:26,103 Hi, gorgeous. 326 00:13:26,126 --> 00:13:27,492 - What? What? - It's me. 327 00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:28,981 What's going on? 328 00:13:28,994 --> 00:13:31,422 - Who, who are you? - What? 329 00:13:31,814 --> 00:13:33,213 - What's... - No, no, no, no, no. 330 00:13:33,232 --> 00:13:35,343 Somebody please help me. Who are you? 331 00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:37,056 - It's me, your sister. - I don't have a sister! 332 00:13:37,069 --> 00:13:38,781 - Yes, you do. - What are you talking about? 333 00:13:38,788 --> 00:13:40,057 Calm down, my darling. Calm down. 334 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,774 Don't tell me to calm down! I don't even know who you are! 335 00:13:42,813 --> 00:13:45,631 - Please. Please, somebody! We need to call the police! - No, no, no! 336 00:13:45,666 --> 00:13:47,956 - Stop! - No, don't! 337 00:13:47,972 --> 00:13:50,589 - Somebody call the police! - Calm down! Calm down! 338 00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:52,418 I can't be here! 339 00:13:52,512 --> 00:13:54,166 SHE LAUGHS 340 00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,720 I can't believe you bought it. It's so good. 341 00:14:03,011 --> 00:14:04,232 Never fails. 342 00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:06,006 SHE LAUGHS 343 00:14:06,055 --> 00:14:07,343 It's good seeing you again. 344 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:09,768 - Ummm... - Literally, I always do this. 345 00:14:09,778 --> 00:14:12,510 - Oh, do you? - It's like a running thing, and she always falls for it. 346 00:14:12,529 --> 00:14:14,773 - She's so gullible. - Hello, my name's Richard, by the way. 347 00:14:14,782 --> 00:14:15,900 - I'm, er... - Are you two together? 348 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:16,915 - No. - Are you lovers? 349 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,587 - What? No. - Do you want to be lovers? 350 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,077 - I'm her therapist. - Oh, you've got a therapist? I'm her therapist. 351 00:14:21,096 --> 00:14:22,473 I just wanted him to see you. 352 00:14:22,492 --> 00:14:24,949 No, it's really good to see you, too, Jamie. 353 00:14:24,962 --> 00:14:26,406 And, you know, thank you. 354 00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:27,915 And I can't believe this is happening. 355 00:14:27,931 --> 00:14:29,347 - Yeah. - Great. 356 00:14:29,816 --> 00:14:31,295 - Congratulations! - No, no. 357 00:14:31,311 --> 00:14:32,771 - It's not his. - It's not mine, seriously. 358 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,349 But, er, isn't it great that your sister is, er, 359 00:14:35,368 --> 00:14:37,317 is pregnant and having a baby very soon. 360 00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,470 - You're going to be there. You're going to be an auntie. - Very soon? 361 00:14:39,472 --> 00:14:40,859 - How soon? How soon? - Maybe you can be there with me. 362 00:14:40,872 --> 00:14:42,737 - After all the terrible... - BED RATTLES 363 00:14:42,737 --> 00:14:43,838 Oh, my God, Alice. 364 00:14:45,069 --> 00:14:46,234 Oh, my God, are you OK? 365 00:14:46,247 --> 00:14:48,197 ALICE GROANS 366 00:14:48,608 --> 00:14:51,454 - Nurse! Somebody! Somebody, quickly! - Nurse! 367 00:14:51,472 --> 00:14:52,651 - Nurse! - Somebody quickly! 368 00:14:53,117 --> 00:14:55,643 Nurse! 369 00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,695 ALICE LAUGHS 370 00:14:58,572 --> 00:15:02,383 Needed that laugh. That is some funny, some funny shit, right? 371 00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:06,721 Are the whole family like this? 372 00:15:06,779 --> 00:15:08,032 BUZZER 373 00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:09,645 - Dad! - Oh. 374 00:15:09,665 --> 00:15:11,196 - OK. Listen to me! Hear me out! - I'm not your dad. 375 00:15:11,199 --> 00:15:13,139 OK, if this isn't enough, if you don't believe me, 376 00:15:13,152 --> 00:15:15,217 looking at me as if you don't know that I'm your son, 377 00:15:15,227 --> 00:15:17,091 I got the next best thing. I got a DNA test. 378 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,187 OK, OK! 379 00:15:18,195 --> 00:15:19,814 Two whole minutes. 380 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:22,039 - All I have to do is swab your cheek. - Richard! Richard! 381 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,536 - Is it about Mum? - No, no. It's an exchange student. 382 00:15:24,552 --> 00:15:27,398 I am your son! I don't know why you're fighting it! 383 00:15:27,462 --> 00:15:29,049 - Two minutes. - OK. 384 00:15:29,124 --> 00:15:30,623 - Be done with it! - Shut the door. 385 00:15:30,636 --> 00:15:32,347 - My God! Why are you... - Lock the door! 386 00:15:32,372 --> 00:15:34,603 Why are you fighting this, Dad? 387 00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:37,385 - Oh, my God. - BUZZER 388 00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:39,419 - Richard! - Oh. 389 00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:40,455 - Hi. - Hello. 390 00:15:40,465 --> 00:15:42,639 - Sorry I'm a bit early. - No, no, not at all. 391 00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:44,921 - I'm rather excited. - Yes, it is exciting. 392 00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:45,957 This is exciting. 393 00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:47,236 - Er... - Balloons? 394 00:15:47,272 --> 00:15:49,156 - It's like a group... - If you, er, if you go upstairs. 395 00:15:49,169 --> 00:15:51,267 - No, it's... it's just, er... - Who's that? 396 00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:52,893 It's a client. I'll be, I'll be right back. 397 00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:55,267 I have to talk to you about the different stages... 398 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,987 - Right! Yes. - of my relationship with Izzy... 399 00:15:57,009 --> 00:15:58,598 OK, like, what, how can I use this in a sentence? 400 00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:01,130 In a reflective sentence, you'd say like, 401 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,970 - zeself... - This is actually my house, so... 402 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,722 Oh, right? You're having a party? 403 00:16:05,728 --> 00:16:07,878 - No, I... - Nathan! 404 00:16:08,091 --> 00:16:10,187 - What are you doing here? - Is this part of the session? 405 00:16:10,676 --> 00:16:12,515 - Izzy is... - No, no, no... 406 00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:13,810 - ... my daughter. - Dad! 407 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,286 - Izzy. - It's not important. 408 00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:17,293 What kind of therapy sessions do you run here? 409 00:16:17,306 --> 00:16:18,877 It's just normal stuff. 410 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,302 Relationships, everything like that, 411 00:16:20,319 --> 00:16:22,588 - and you really have advanced so much. - Dylan. 412 00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:23,735 Dad. 413 00:16:24,489 --> 00:16:25,946 - Dad. - I'm not your dad. 414 00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:27,970 What, it will only take a minute. 415 00:16:29,627 --> 00:16:31,473 Oh, Ricky, look at you. 416 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,441 RICKY MUMBLES 417 00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:36,252 - Sort yourself out! - I just shat myself. 418 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,175 OK, thank you. Bye-bye. 419 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,830 - Are you two sleeping together? - Well, we are. 420 00:16:40,847 --> 00:16:42,952 - You know, in the sense that we're sharing. - I thought you broke up? 421 00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:44,419 - We did break up. - I thought it was a one-time thing? 422 00:16:44,432 --> 00:16:47,401 In fact, I was left heartbroken, and that's why I turned to you. 423 00:16:47,411 --> 00:16:49,338 You went with this guy when we were broken up, 424 00:16:49,373 --> 00:16:50,963 - what three days? - What do you mean "this guy"? 425 00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:53,686 - It didn't mean anything. - Izzy, you took my virginity. 426 00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:55,134 - Do you understand that? - What? 427 00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:57,015 - How old are you? - That was a spiritual bond. 428 00:16:57,031 --> 00:16:58,203 How old are you mate? 429 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,260 - Jose, talk to me. Any luck? - No. 430 00:17:02,331 --> 00:17:04,906 All I know is that somebody at six in the morning 431 00:17:04,928 --> 00:17:07,907 used my Uber account to bring them to Kings Cross international. 432 00:17:07,962 --> 00:17:09,562 - Kings Cross? - I asked the ticket office... 433 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:11,886 No, they don't tell me anything. 434 00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:13,586 - So... - No-one's heard anything? 435 00:17:13,942 --> 00:17:16,735 Platform nine and three quarters is here, isn't it? 436 00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:19,354 - Yeah. - I'm going to have a look, 437 00:17:19,626 --> 00:17:21,663 - just to see and then I can help you look. - Harry Potter? 438 00:17:21,676 --> 00:17:23,006 Yes, Harry Potter. 439 00:17:23,038 --> 00:17:26,024 Jose, pull the wand out of your ass and find my mum! 440 00:17:26,149 --> 00:17:29,925 The reason I was talking to your uncle John about joining the Army. 441 00:17:29,934 --> 00:17:31,275 You are too small, man. 442 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,195 - What? - You're way too small. 443 00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:34,875 - Dude... - I'm five, seven. I'm not... 444 00:17:34,901 --> 00:17:36,591 How are you going to carry your gun? Look at your arms. 445 00:17:36,601 --> 00:17:38,940 Why are you saying all this stuff to me? It's like, 446 00:17:39,749 --> 00:17:41,578 you're acting like it's... 447 00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:44,032 OTHERS ARGUE FAINTLY 448 00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:45,399 I'm, 449 00:17:46,222 --> 00:17:47,511 I'm going to miss you man. 450 00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:48,994 I'll miss you too. 451 00:17:49,655 --> 00:17:51,500 But, I just need to get out of this place. 452 00:17:53,264 --> 00:17:55,177 You know, that's permanent marker on your chest. 453 00:17:55,187 --> 00:17:57,103 - This is permanent? - Everything. 454 00:17:57,113 --> 00:17:59,645 - Man, I've got one burger nipple. - I'm going to be... 455 00:17:59,866 --> 00:18:01,193 I'm going to be sick again. 456 00:18:01,844 --> 00:18:03,875 Get out, get out, get out! 457 00:18:05,004 --> 00:18:06,112 Nathan? 458 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:09,327 - Richard, what is going on? - One second. I'll be right there. 459 00:18:09,352 --> 00:18:11,452 Richard, we really need to talk right now. 460 00:18:11,472 --> 00:18:13,518 - Just give me a second. - Hi, I don't understand this. 461 00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:15,003 - Yes. - Did you know the entire time 462 00:18:15,013 --> 00:18:16,913 you were giving me therapy sessions about your own daughter? 463 00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:18,163 Did you set the whole thing up? 464 00:18:18,179 --> 00:18:19,791 There are so many things we should discuss. 465 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,283 Absolutely, you're absolutely right. 466 00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:23,129 Let's discuss this like adults. 467 00:18:23,165 --> 00:18:25,567 Can I suggest we go into my office? 468 00:18:25,745 --> 00:18:27,334 - For a second. Is that OK? - Fine. 469 00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,977 Great, now look. The thing I was thinking is... 470 00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:31,994 Oi! Richard. 471 00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:33,604 (HE BANGS ON DOOR) Let me out! 472 00:18:33,814 --> 00:18:35,236 BANGING CONTINUES 473 00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,153 Richard! 474 00:18:38,005 --> 00:18:39,954 - Don't go into the office. - Dad, I need to talk to you. 475 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,214 No, Izzy, we need to talk. 476 00:18:41,243 --> 00:18:43,248 I feel like I'm the only one trying to save this relationship. 477 00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:44,536 It, it doesn't matter because I... 478 00:18:44,598 --> 00:18:46,551 I'm going celibate. I need this. 479 00:18:46,554 --> 00:18:48,766 I need some sort of a digital detox, 480 00:18:48,785 --> 00:18:50,682 - or like a sexual cleanse. - From me? 481 00:18:50,759 --> 00:18:52,932 From... everything! I... 482 00:18:53,693 --> 00:18:54,891 Daddy, I really need you to help me. 483 00:18:54,910 --> 00:18:57,695 - Please just say something. - Er... yeah... 484 00:18:59,695 --> 00:19:02,433 Dad, I need to talk to you about the Army... 485 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,205 - Yeah, I need to talk to YOU about soap. - Oi! 486 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:05,843 One second, I'll be right there. 487 00:19:06,595 --> 00:19:09,953 - Seriously, Dad. - Have a fucking bath. 488 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,892 Richard! You've got a message from Mum! 489 00:19:12,138 --> 00:19:14,307 - Dad, who is that? - Exchange student. 490 00:19:22,485 --> 00:19:24,703 - ACCORDION PLAYS FAINTLY - Bonjour, mon cheries! 491 00:19:24,768 --> 00:19:26,228 Guess where I am? 492 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,472 Think romance. 493 00:19:28,679 --> 00:19:30,576 You're right, Paris. 494 00:19:30,955 --> 00:19:34,519 - Isn't it wonderful? It's formidable. - BALLOON POPS 495 00:19:35,098 --> 00:19:38,718 Anyway loves, a tout for the moment, and remember... 496 00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:43,568 # Non, non regrette... 497 00:19:43,577 --> 00:19:44,708 MESSAGE PINGS 498 00:19:46,070 --> 00:19:48,401 ♪ Je ne regrette rien... ♪ 499 00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:50,532 A tout, loves. 500 00:19:50,578 --> 00:19:51,626 VIDEO CALL CHIMES 501 00:19:51,681 --> 00:19:53,705 _ 502 00:19:55,059 --> 00:19:58,708 _ 503 00:20:02,554 --> 00:20:04,659 - Hello. - Listen, I'm sorry for banging on the door. 504 00:20:04,666 --> 00:20:06,307 Don't worry, I get it now. You're a genius. 505 00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:07,997 You put me in a room. Aversion therapy. 506 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,107 All the things that threaten me. 507 00:20:09,130 --> 00:20:10,253 - The bisexuality, - _ 508 00:20:10,270 --> 00:20:11,681 with the incest, with infidelity. 509 00:20:11,684 --> 00:20:13,938 Beefy younger men in closed spaces is wonderful, 510 00:20:13,952 --> 00:20:16,043 and in this room already I've had some real breakthroughs. 511 00:20:16,056 --> 00:20:18,220 I have just one question. I have a seminar at two o'clock. 512 00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:19,353 How long do I have to be in here? 513 00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:23,122 - VIDEO CALL CHIMES - _ 514 00:20:23,798 --> 00:20:25,838 - Mr Pitt, can I stay here when Ricky leaves? - What? 515 00:20:25,854 --> 00:20:27,706 - Dad, I want to talk to you about consent. - Consent? 516 00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:30,138 You just need to fill out some forms cos I'm 16. 517 00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:32,019 - What forms? - Dad, Dad, I'm joining the Army. 518 00:20:32,042 --> 00:20:33,356 Put some clothes on. 519 00:20:33,386 --> 00:20:35,361 - BANGING ON DOOR - Where are you going now Mr Pitt? 520 00:20:35,387 --> 00:20:36,640 I'm not going anywhere. 521 00:20:39,622 --> 00:20:41,792 You know what, I'm going to do it. 522 00:20:42,228 --> 00:20:44,957 I'm going to do it. There's no time like the present, eh? 523 00:20:44,973 --> 00:20:46,318 I'm going to do it. This is it. 524 00:20:46,353 --> 00:20:48,189 God this is it, OK. 525 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:50,317 OK, I'll talk to you guys soon. OK, here we go. 526 00:20:52,049 --> 00:20:53,506 VIDEO CALL CHIMES 527 00:20:57,466 --> 00:21:00,766 - Don't move, Dad. - Get off of me. 528 00:21:00,814 --> 00:21:03,039 - What are you doing? - I love you. 529 00:21:03,059 --> 00:21:05,182 This is for us. I'm doing this for us. 530 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,906 I'm doing it for us. This is for me, and it is for you. 531 00:21:08,912 --> 00:21:10,820 Don't touch it. 532 00:21:10,888 --> 00:21:11,918 Yes! 533 00:21:12,054 --> 00:21:14,373 Yes! Oh, my God, yes! 534 00:21:27,529 --> 00:21:29,384 Argh! Neil. 535 00:21:29,672 --> 00:21:30,828 - Richard. - It's Neil... 536 00:21:30,953 --> 00:21:32,590 Argh... 537 00:21:33,069 --> 00:21:34,248 Richard. 538 00:21:36,479 --> 00:21:37,881 Richard, wait! 539 00:21:39,801 --> 00:21:42,128 - No, Neil don't! - Get off that fucking bike! 540 00:21:42,708 --> 00:21:43,942 Richard! 541 00:21:47,643 --> 00:21:48,702 Richard. 542 00:21:49,236 --> 00:21:50,353 Argh! 543 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,046 Stop it. 544 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:55,637 - Oi! - No, no, no. 545 00:21:56,175 --> 00:21:57,386 Richard... 546 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,770 Neil, I... Neil... 547 00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:02,922 Richard. 548 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,749 I just want to say thank you. 549 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,996 Thank you from the bottom of my heart 550 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,618 for giving me therapy. 551 00:22:12,743 --> 00:22:14,511 You've changed my life. 552 00:22:14,636 --> 00:22:17,610 I'm bloody sorry about being such a twat. 553 00:22:17,735 --> 00:22:19,529 'Cos I know I was, and you don't deserve it. 554 00:22:19,548 --> 00:22:21,135 You're an angel, you are. 555 00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:23,534 Do I still have to pay you back the money? 556 00:22:23,822 --> 00:22:25,393 Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. 557 00:22:25,415 --> 00:22:27,524 - Yeah, you gotta pay me back, in't ya? - OK... 558 00:22:28,709 --> 00:22:30,017 Thank you. 559 00:22:31,077 --> 00:22:32,312 WHISPERS: Fucking hell. 560 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,317 - In fact, I love you. - Right. 561 00:22:34,366 --> 00:22:36,352 No-one's ever been as nice as you have. 562 00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:38,572 I couldn't have done it without you. 563 00:22:39,657 --> 00:22:41,289 - Thank you. - OK... 564 00:22:41,441 --> 00:22:43,974 - Look at the possibilities... - HORN BEEPS 565 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,728 LAUGHING: I'm... I'm pregnant. 566 00:23:18,788 --> 00:23:23,788 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 42705

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