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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
2
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:23,450
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
3
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,980
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
4
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,780
♪ on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:34,010
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
6
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:37,180
♪ what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,880
♪ without us?
8
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:42,550
♪ what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:45,210
♪ without us?
10
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,880
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
11
00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:49,880
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
12
00:00:49,910 --> 00:00:51,350
♪ ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:54,210
♪ what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,080
♪ without us?
15
00:00:57,110 --> 00:01:00,610
♪ sha-la-la-la
16
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,160
Alex. Glad you could
make it down
17
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,160
for the final 30 seconds
of dinner.
18
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,360
Oh, sorry, mom.
I was in the middle of studying.
19
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,130
You know, if I was to break
concentration at that point,
20
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,830
it would've been a fatal error.
21
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,800
This week, every minute,
every second is precious.
22
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,700
Don't be so melodramatic, Alex.
23
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:23,860
What's the big deal
about studying for midterms?
24
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:28,400
Why don't you try it sometime
and find out, Mallory?
25
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,500
Alex, Mallory's been making
great strides
26
00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:32,030
this year in her schoolwork.
27
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,360
Didn't you say you thought you'd
get a 'B' in biology this term?
28
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,800
I did say that.
29
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,300
I did think that.
30
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:41,560
I was wrong.
31
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,830
Anyway, it's not the same, dad.
See, I'm a senior.
32
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:45,500
These are the last grades
I'll get
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00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:47,100
that will count towards college.
34
00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,300
Oh, and on top of that,
35
00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:50,530
the State Scholarship exam
is on Saturday.
36
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,200
I'm probably gonna emerge
from this week a babbling idiot.
37
00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,930
You're a week ahead of schedule.
38
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,930
Oh, Steven, your special's
about to start.
39
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,130
Mm. Come on, kids,
you'll love it.
40
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,730
It's called "The Wolverine.
A vanishing breed."
41
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,400
You know what a Wolverine is,
don't you, Jen?
42
00:02:05,430 --> 00:02:09,500
Sure. It's half-wolf
and half-nectarine.
43
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,930
Better watch the show.
44
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,400
Uh, Mallory.
45
00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:15,160
Can I talk to you for a second?
46
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,860
Why? What do you want?
47
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,830
It's just a small thing.
48
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:20,430
Well, the size surprises me.
49
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:23,000
Okay, listen, I...
I'm in trouble.
50
00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:25,430
I-I-I've got more work
to do this week
51
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,530
than... Than even I can manage.
52
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,030
So I need your help.
53
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,800
Do you want me to write
one of your term papers for you?
54
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:37,830
This is no time for jokes,
Mallory.
55
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:39,530
Look, the help I need from you.
56
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,400
I-involves your friend,
uh, Effie.
57
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:43,160
Effie? What do you want
from Effie?
58
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,000
Well, does, uh...
59
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:48,060
Does she still take
those, uh, diet pills?
60
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:50,430
You know what I mean.
Amphetamines.
61
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:53,960
Speed? Shhhhh!
62
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000
Yeah, she does. Why?
63
00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:58,130
Well, t-they speed up
your metabolism, you know?
64
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,730
They give you extra energy.
65
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,160
I, uh,
I may need that this week.
66
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,760
Alex, Effie has a prescription
for those pills.
67
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,960
It's illegal for anyone else
to take them.
68
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,860
Oh, come on, Mallory.
69
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,600
You took one yourself,
a couple of months ago,
70
00:03:12,630 --> 00:03:14,060
when you were on that diet.
Right.
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00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,600
And it was you that talked me
out of taking any more.
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00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,960
You said they were dangerous
73
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000
and that drugs weren't
the solution to anything.
74
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:23,760
Oh. Sure.
Throw that up in my face.
75
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,800
Look, Mallory, you know me
well enough to know
76
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:29,260
I am not gonna abuse the pills.
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00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:32,000
I probably won't even use 'em.
78
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:35,360
They will sit on my shelf,
and I won't touch 'em.
79
00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:38,500
Okay. I'll talk
to Effie tomorrow.
80
00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:40,260
No. Not tomorrow, tonight.
81
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,530
Uh, please.
82
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:42,800
The sooner I have them,
83
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:46,030
the sooner I, uh,
don't have to take 'em.
84
00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:51,700
Okay. U.S. government.
Honors class. Mr. Wilkinson.
85
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:53,060
Title page...
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00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:57,200
"Herbert Hoover,
the lost savior."
87
00:03:57,230 --> 00:03:59,030
By Alex P. Keaton.
88
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,800
Hi.
89
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:04,100
So...
90
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:05,400
Did you, uh...
91
00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:08,430
I-I mean,
were you able to, uh...
92
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,560
Effie?
93
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,730
Yes, Alex, I got the speed.
94
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,760
Will you keep your voice down?
95
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,460
We are dealing with illegal
contraband here, Mallory.
96
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,530
What took you so long?
97
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,330
Effie didn't want to give up
the pills.
98
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,500
She said she needs them
for her diet.
99
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:30,530
How'd you talk her into it?
100
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,830
She likes you, Alex.
101
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:35,230
So, uh, I told her
you'd go out with her.
102
00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:38,200
You what?!
103
00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:40,400
I don't want to go out
with Effie.
104
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:43,830
She weighs 300 pounds.
105
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,230
Well, it's a lucky thing
for you she does,
106
00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:49,160
or she wouldn't
have those pills.
107
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,200
All right, all right.
I'll go out with her.
108
00:04:53,430 --> 00:04:55,360
Here they are.
109
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,030
Just be careful, okay?
110
00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:02,360
Mallory...
111
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,600
Mallory, don't worry
your pretty little head
112
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,260
over this anymore.
113
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,430
I can safely say
114
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:10,430
that there is virtually
no possibility...
115
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,060
Of me taking even a single pill.
116
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,160
Believe me.
117
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,130
I know what I'm doing.
118
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:20,000
What am I doing?
119
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,760
Drugs.
120
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,000
These are drugs,
and I have them illegally.
121
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,530
"Effie Blatts.
122
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,860
Take one every morning
to control appetite."
123
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,930
I'm not Effie Blatts.
124
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,260
There's no way around it.
125
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,360
You know, if this
ever went to trial,
126
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,660
I wouldn't have
a leg to stand on.
127
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,960
I could wind up
on a road gang for this...
128
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,430
With Effie Blatts.
129
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:57,460
'Course, she would do
all the heavy work.
130
00:05:57,500 --> 00:06:01,360
On the other hand,
what choice have I got?
131
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:07,800
Help me out here.
132
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,830
I mean, what would you do?
133
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:17,860
Pressure mounting
from all sides,
134
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:22,530
y-your entire future, your
career hangs in the balance.
135
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:26,400
Would you do something
you knew was wrong?
136
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,800
Elyse: Hey, Alex, you want to
take a break and join us?
137
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,460
Alex: I'm really busy, mom.
138
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,030
We're playing monopoly!
139
00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:45,800
Then you'll join us?
140
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:48,830
Monopoly? You kidding me?
I'd love a game.
141
00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:51,160
Uh, I-i thought you had
a lot of work to do?
142
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,330
Well, dad, I was thinking.
143
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,330
You know, term papers and exams
come and go,
144
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,430
but the family unit is
the one true constant in life.
145
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,060
The precious hours spent
in the familiar abode,
146
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,400
with loved ones,
147
00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:03,260
playing a heartwarming game
such as this,
148
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,960
are what make memories
149
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,030
that one can treasure
for all eternity.
150
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,930
When did all that occur to you?
151
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,100
As I was coming down the stairs.
152
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,300
Are these dice
in proper working order?
153
00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:19,160
Yes, all the dots
seem to be in place.
154
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,560
Okay. Okay, fine.
Mallory, you're first.
155
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,660
Okay.
156
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:23,730
10.
157
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,260
Oh, I'm on the Jail Square.
158
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,130
Uh, relax, relax.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
159
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,430
You're just visiting.
160
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:31,100
Okay, uh, my turn!
161
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,130
All right! Here we go!
162
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,560
Oh, oh, nobody took the thimble.
163
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,000
That's great. Here we go.
164
00:07:36,030 --> 00:07:39,100
Okay, let's have boxcars
for daddy!
165
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,130
Oh!
166
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,630
Double threes. Six!
167
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,900
Okay. That puts me
on Oriental Avenue.
168
00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:51,600
That costs $100. I'll buy that.
169
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,030
Okay, my turn.
170
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,160
Four.
171
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,900
Income tax. You have to pay.
172
00:07:57,930 --> 00:08:00,330
Aw, that's not fair.
Could I take a do-over?
173
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,000
Oh, sure. Go ahead.
174
00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:04,860
Whoa! Whoa! Hold the phone.
175
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,100
No do-overs.
176
00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:08,530
Page four of the rule book says,
and I quote...
177
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,160
Alex, we're gonna let Jennifer
take a do-over.
178
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,630
Here are the dice, honey.
179
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:17,130
I won't stand for this.
180
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,000
This is a travesty.
181
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:21,600
This is a sin
against capitalism.
182
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,030
I'll be in the kitchen.
183
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,900
You call me
when it's my turn. Okay?
184
00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:28,430
Alex...
185
00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:30,900
Alex, you took
one of those pills, didn't you?
186
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,060
Nope.
187
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,060
Decided not to.
188
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,900
You did so, Alex. I can tell.
189
00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,730
You're completely
out of control.
190
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,900
Mallory.
Mallory, don't be silly.
191
00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:41,530
I'm fine.
192
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,100
Okay. Mom? Elyse: Yeah?
193
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:44,660
I was gonna give
the kitchen floors
194
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,330
a quick buffing.
195
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,430
Where do you keep the wax?
196
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,430
Never mind. I'll use my hands.
197
00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:01,730
Uh, no, he isn't home yet,
Mrs. Obeck,
198
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,130
but I'll pass along your thanks.
199
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,600
Yeah, I'm glad
Alex did a good job
200
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,030
cleaning out your garage.
201
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:12,100
Uh, no, I don't know
why he did it, either.
202
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:16,960
I'm s-sorry he had to break
a window to get in.
203
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,030
Bye-bye.
204
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:22,200
What has gotten into
Alex this week?
205
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:25,460
I don't know, but our floors
have never looked better.
206
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,700
He's just trying to be helpful.
207
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:29,830
He oiled my roller skates
yesterday.
208
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:30,930
So?
209
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:31,930
So?!
210
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,200
I was skating at the time.
211
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:38,360
He has been in sort of
a frenzy of activity lately,
212
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,860
I mean, uh, even for Alex.
213
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,360
I don't notice any difference.
214
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,560
No difference?
215
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,800
Mallory, do you realize
how much work it takes
216
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,630
to install a skylight?
217
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,160
Great news. Great news!
218
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,160
I got my term paper on Hoover
back from Mr. Wilkinson.
219
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,430
A-plus. Nice work, Alex.
220
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,500
Look at this.
Look what he wrote on the front.
221
00:09:59,530 --> 00:10:01,830
"An incredibly
well-argued thesis.
222
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:04,100
"I voted for Roosevelt
four times.
223
00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:08,130
Thank you for showing me
the error of my ways."
224
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,730
I also got a 92
on my economics final
225
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,000
and an "A"
on my English term paper.
226
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:16,030
Does anybody have any laundry
they want me to do?
227
00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,960
Alex, are you feeling all right?
228
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,230
Never better!
229
00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:23,230
You just seemed a little...
Hyperactive.
230
00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:25,130
Oh, wh-what you're seeing here
is simply
231
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,660
my natural boyish exuberance,
that's all.
232
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,060
It was bound to emerge
eventually.
233
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,930
I just worry about you...
That's all.
234
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,760
Ah! Mommy.
235
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,330
Not to worry.
236
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,100
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna have a shower.
237
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:41,360
When I come back down,
238
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,530
I'll make myself
some dinner, okay?
239
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,000
Come on.
240
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,760
Did you get more pills
from Effie?
241
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,160
Yes, Alex, I did.
242
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,460
Good. Well, where are they?
243
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,400
I'm not giving 'em to you, Alex.
244
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:03,830
You've been taking them
all week,
245
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:05,730
and you've been acting
very weird.
246
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,160
Weird?
247
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,200
Weird?
248
00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:11,560
D-do you mind giving me
249
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,530
an example
of this alleged "weirdness"
250
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:17,200
in, uh, in my recent behavior?
251
00:11:17,230 --> 00:11:18,330
All right.
252
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,500
Why the sudden interest
in Jennifer's Dollhouse?
253
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:23,460
It's not a sudden interest
at all.
254
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,830
I've been concerned for a while
255
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,430
that her dolls
were a little cramped,
256
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:28,500
so I built an annex...
257
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:33,030
uh, a little more
breathing room for Molly
258
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,160
and, uh, whatever the hell
the other one's name is.
259
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,500
I'm not giving you
any more pills, Alex.
260
00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:40,900
Mallory,
261
00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:43,600
I've got the biggest tests
of my life coming up.
262
00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:46,160
I just want you to give me
a couple more pills
263
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,030
to... to get me by, that's all.
264
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:50,600
And then that's the end.
Over. Finito.
265
00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:52,500
No. You should be able
to study without them.
266
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:54,230
Oh, I-i don't believe this.
267
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:58,100
A lecture in study habits
from the C-minus poster girl.
268
00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:02,900
Come on, Mallory.
I'm not asking you for a dozen.
269
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,360
Just one.
270
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,700
Maybe two.
271
00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:08,830
How many you got? No, Alex.
272
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,700
Alex, that's mine! Give it back!
273
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:15,560
In a second, Mallory.
In a second.
274
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,400
Alex, you have no right
to do this!
275
00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:20,060
Thanks.
276
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,800
Don't ever speak to me again.
277
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:25,060
Oh, lighten up, will you?
278
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,600
Oh, and, uh, Mallory,
you know, if you're thinking
279
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,260
of telling mom and dad
about this,
280
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,760
you just keep in mind...
281
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,730
You're not exactly
innocent here, either.
282
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,830
Is "The Miracle of Life" on yet?
283
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,660
Just started. What did I miss?
284
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:45,800
Uh, the sperm cell just
joined up with the egg cell.
285
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,260
What's that?
286
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,730
That's the inside
of a woman's uterus, honey.
287
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,960
Anyone famous?
288
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,500
I don't know.
289
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:58,100
Have to wait till the credits.
290
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,960
Hey, Alex. Good day at school?
Yeah.
291
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,060
You do well on your tests?
Fine. I did fine.
292
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,960
How were your papers?
What is this, the inquisition?
293
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,100
Oh, Alex, who do you think
you're talking to?
294
00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:14,130
I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
The... t-the tests went fine.
295
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,060
I got an A-minus
on my term paper.
296
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:19,730
I'm... I'm just... Tired,
that's all.
297
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,330
Have you seen Mallory? Uh, no.
298
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,230
Alex, you're interrupting
fertilization.
299
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,700
What is this trash
you're watching?
300
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:30,960
This isn't trash. Jennifer and I
have been planning
301
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,330
on watching this for weeks.
302
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,860
It's "The Miracle of Life."
303
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,560
They show how babies are made.
304
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,330
Man on TV:
Ensuing gestation period...
305
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,360
The stork brings babies,
Jennifer.
306
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,100
You're not supposed
to know otherwise
307
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:44,400
till you're 12 years old.
308
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,330
Alex, what are you doing?
309
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:50,030
I will not allow this smut
in my house!
310
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:52,500
This is not your house.
This is our house!
311
00:13:52,530 --> 00:13:54,930
That is not smut, and I don't
like the way you're acting.
312
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,130
Oh, well, maybe I don't like
the way you're acting.
313
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,530
Okay, Alex, I don't know exactly
314
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,500
what's going on here,
but I don't like it.
315
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,300
You go on up to your room
and don't you come down
316
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:04,800
till you can be
a little more civil!
317
00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:06,460
What?
318
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:09,160
Are you seriously telling me
to go to my room?
319
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,130
Yes, I am... no.
In fact, I got a better idea.
320
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,630
First, you clean up the kitchen,
321
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:14,200
then straighten up
the living room,
322
00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:16,500
and then go to your room...
Any questions?
323
00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:18,430
Yeah. Yeah, I have a question.
324
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:19,630
I most certainly do.
325
00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:22,660
Which, uh, room
326
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,630
did you want me to clean first?
327
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,100
Your choice.
328
00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:28,760
But, mom, what about the show?
329
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,100
We'll watch upstairs.
330
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,230
Good idea.
331
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:33,200
There's less chance of us
being interrupted
332
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,360
by Alex and his housework.
333
00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:44,360
Mallory, Mallory, stop.
334
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,730
I'm not speaking to you, Alex.
335
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,460
Ma... Mallory, please.
336
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,530
Um, I took the...
The last one this morning,
337
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,200
and, uh, I'm starting
to feel real tired.
338
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:55,430
I just need a couple more
339
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:58,060
to get me through the test
tomorrow.
340
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,730
Call Effie for me, please.
341
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,360
Not a chance.
342
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,360
Mallory,
what do you want from me?
343
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,900
You want an apology?
Okay, all right, I'm sorry.
344
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,430
How about money?
345
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,800
Hello, Effie.
346
00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:30,630
Yeah, it's Alex.
347
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:33,330
So where you been
hiding yourself?
348
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,530
Okay, the correct answer is,
I believe,
349
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,360
the Treaty of Westphalia,
350
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,330
and if I'm not mistaken...
351
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,200
the year was 1648.
352
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:48,100
Ah, right again.
353
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:50,760
This is child's play.
354
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,260
Let's face it...
355
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:55,000
I am flawlessly prepared
for this exam.
356
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:58,460
After tomorrow,
I can just pick my school.
357
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,530
Harvard.
358
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,830
Yeah, I think
I'll go to Harvard.
359
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:05,200
'Course, I shouldn't be
too hasty here.
360
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:08,130
The other Ivy league schools
are gonna want a shot at me.
361
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,360
Pretty soon, they'll all
be knocking at my door.
362
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,630
Aha! Here's one now.
363
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,460
Come on in.
364
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,430
I heard, uh,
some noise in here, Alex.
365
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,260
I thought I...
366
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,800
What are you doing?
367
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:28,500
Painting my walls.
368
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,900
You want me
to do your room next?
369
00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:34,160
Alex, it's, uh,
3:30 in the morning.
370
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,830
I'll put a drop cloth
over you and mom.
371
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,760
You won't even know I'm there.
372
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,100
Put down the paintbrush.
373
00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:42,200
It'll dry unevenly, dad.
374
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:43,700
Now, Alex!
375
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:45,100
You know, dad,
376
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,830
I am so flawlessly prepared
for this exam,
377
00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,300
I'm not gonna miss
a single question.
378
00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:51,730
I don't believe it!
379
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,760
Did you dig those trenches
in the backyard?
380
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:57,130
Yeah, I did.
381
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,160
Why?
382
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,160
Underground sprinkler system.
383
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,130
Alex, how many hours
have you slept this week?
384
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,400
I don't know...
385
00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:07,600
Four.
386
00:17:07,630 --> 00:17:09,130
Four hours all week?
387
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,900
So I've been peppy. So what?
388
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,730
You haven't been peppy, Alex...
You've been crazed.
389
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,800
Peppy, crazed.
Tomato, "tomahto."
390
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,030
Have you been taking
amphetamines?
391
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,700
No. No... me?
392
00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:23,100
No way, dad. Not me.
393
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:24,600
Alex.
394
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:26,430
Don't lie to me.
395
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,330
All right, okay. I admit it.
396
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,960
I-I-i borrowed a few
from Mallory's friend Effie.
397
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Okay?
398
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:37,500
No, it is not okay!
399
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:39,560
Look, d-dad, I just needed 'em
400
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,530
to get me through this week.
401
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,500
Look. Look, I'll prove it
to you, okay?
402
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,900
See? These are all of them
I-in the garbage.
403
00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:48,560
Gone. I've taken my last one.
That is not the point, Alex.
404
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,760
You shouldn't have been
taking them in the first place,
405
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,200
no matter how much
you had to do.
406
00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:54,400
Dad, they work.
They... they helped me.
407
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:56,030
I have gotten more done
this week
408
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:57,600
than I ever thought possible.
409
00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:59,930
You got to admit it, dad.
The stuff works.
410
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,800
I know what it does. I used it
myself when I was in school.
411
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,200
Oh. Oh, okay.
412
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:07,530
Then how can you get mad at me?
413
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:14,260
This isn't a question
of my being mad at you, Alex.
414
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:18,300
I-it's much more complicated
than that.
415
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,930
Look...
416
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,700
I'm your father,
417
00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:24,530
and right now
I see you taking a risk
418
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,700
with something
you know nothing about.
419
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,360
Now, this is
a dangerous, addictive drug
420
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,960
you're dealing with.
421
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,760
And nothing else matters to me
422
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,100
except stopping you
from taking it.
423
00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:36,030
You don't have to worry be...
424
00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:38,600
I-I'm done with it.
425
00:18:38,630 --> 00:18:41,630
We're not done talking, Alex.
426
00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,860
We'll talk more in the morning.
427
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:51,830
We could, uh,
both use some sleep.
428
00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:56,560
I know I could, before I fill in
those trenches tomorrow.
429
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,500
And, uh,
I know you need to study.
430
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:02,700
Well, I-i pulled
a few all-nighters myself
431
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,200
when I was in school.
432
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:09,130
I, uh, I remember
my roommate Roland koonikowski.
433
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,600
Uh.
434
00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:12,400
We used to call him the owl,
435
00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:16,030
but it wasn't because
he stayed up late...
436
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,760
He could turn his head
all the way...
437
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:33,060
He's still asleep, Elyse.
438
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,560
Alex. Alex.
439
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,500
Alex. Alex, wake up!
You're late for your test!
440
00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:39,360
No! No, Effie! Effie!
No, get back!
441
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:44,560
Mom? Dad? What time is it?
442
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,030
It's 20 after 8:00.
443
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,360
The test. It's already
started, Alex.
444
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,900
We thought you'd gone
an hour ago.
445
00:19:50,930 --> 00:19:52,330
I overslept.
446
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,000
I can't believe it.
I got to get going.
447
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,730
Alex. Help me.
448
00:19:58,760 --> 00:19:59,960
Alex. Elyse, get him up.
449
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,700
Did I fall down? Come on.
450
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:05,230
I think... now, look,
I think you can forget the test.
451
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:06,900
I got to get going.
452
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:08,200
The door?
453
00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:09,800
Where's the door?!
454
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,660
Where are my... Where did I...
455
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,530
It's got to be somewhere...
456
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,060
The garbage!
Probably in the garbage.
457
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,430
Alex! Alex! Stop it! Stop it!
458
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,930
It's over!
459
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,600
It's over.
460
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:34,730
I never oversleep.
461
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,700
Never! Never!
462
00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:41,860
I have one of those
internal clock radios.
463
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,500
I had that scholarship
in the bag.
464
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:50,011
And I blew it!
465
00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:51,460
Speed is like that, Alex.
466
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,130
It'll keep you up for a while,
467
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,000
but when you crash,
uh, you crash hard.
468
00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,930
I thought I could handle it.
469
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,600
Well, look at how
you're handling it.
470
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:02,060
You're... you're on your knees
rummaging through the garbage,
471
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,360
looking for someone else's
diet pills.
472
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,360
I guess I've had finer moments.
473
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,030
You know how you feel right now?
474
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,230
Yeah.
475
00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:13,930
Don't ever forget it.
476
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,360
Believe me, I won't.
477
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,630
Alex, why are you still here?
478
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,730
Ma... Mallory.
479
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,400
I overslept.
480
00:21:23,430 --> 00:21:26,430
I missed the test.
481
00:21:26,460 --> 00:21:29,000
It was the pills.
I-i couldn't wake up.
482
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,560
Mom and dad
know about the pills.
483
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,030
I told them everything.
484
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:37,900
Then you know
I gave the pills to Alex.
485
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,360
I didn't tell them that.
486
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,600
Mallory, you gave him the pills?
487
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,100
She didn't want to, mom.
488
00:21:49,130 --> 00:21:52,000
I pressured her into
getting them from Effie.
489
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,500
She even tried
to talk me out of it.
490
00:21:57,730 --> 00:22:00,430
Uh, Mallory...
491
00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:03,760
I had no right
to use you like that.
492
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,900
I'm sorry.
493
00:22:07,430 --> 00:22:11,060
Something going on here
I should know about?
494
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:14,130
Yeah. Yeah, I was just
apologizing to Mallory
495
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,800
for treating her badly,
496
00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:18,160
and, uh, to you, too, Jennifer,
497
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,100
for, um, being such a creep
all week.
498
00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:28,960
Am I on "Candid Camera"?
499
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,460
Why don't we all
clear out of here and, uh...
500
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:34,760
And let Alex get some sleep?
501
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,030
We'll, uh... we'll talk more
about this later,
502
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,230
when you wake up.
503
00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:41,200
From the looks of you,
that should be about Thursday.
504
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:46,030
You look awful, Alex.
505
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:49,100
How could I do this, Mallory?
506
00:22:49,130 --> 00:22:51,400
I was out of control.
507
00:22:51,430 --> 00:22:54,230
Okay. I-i-it was like
it wasn't even me,
508
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:57,560
like it was somebody else.
509
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,300
Very scary, Mallory.
510
00:23:00,330 --> 00:23:03,300
It was scary for me, too.
I didn't know who you were.
511
00:23:03,330 --> 00:23:05,760
It was like you were
a different person.
512
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,260
Well, uh...
513
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,630
The old Alex is back.
514
00:23:12,930 --> 00:23:14,500
I never thought I'd say this,
515
00:23:14,530 --> 00:23:17,060
but I'm glad to see you.
516
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,860
Oh, by the way,
um, Effie called.
517
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:24,160
She said, uh,
when you pick her up tonight,
518
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,130
dress casual...
519
00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:30,930
and she's hungry.
36646
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