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1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,269
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:06,640
One of you has been making
a lot of phone calls to France
3
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,308
and since I don't like
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:11,812
putting people
on the spot, John Pierre
5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,547
I'm warning you both.
6
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:17,417
Merci, bonjour,
get a calling card.
7
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:18,519
Au revoir!
8
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,187
Hey, what's up, guys?
9
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,222
Hey, Brian, I got the message
10
00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:23,256
that you wanted to see me ASAP.
11
00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:24,290
Yeah, something's been brought
12
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,325
to my attention that you need
13
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:26,392
to be made aware off.
14
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,460
Hey, look, I only made
15
00:00:27,493 --> 00:00:28,629
one phone call to France.
16
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,463
John Pierre makes 'em
all the time.
17
00:00:30,496 --> 00:00:31,598
I don't know,
talking about croissants
18
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,833
and all that kind of stuff‐‐
19
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,736
That's not
what I'm talking about.
20
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,238
Fire John Pierre.
21
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:41,207
Robert, I'd like to discuss
your future here at ET.
22
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,275
Mary?
23
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,211
Hello, Robert.
24
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,180
What's up, Mary?
25
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,249
What's up is that you are going
26
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:51,284
to be my guest anchor
on the weekend.
27
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:52,485
Are you serious?
28
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,187
‐ Yeah!
‐ That's great news.
29
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,221
Is that how
you got started, Mary?
30
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:56,523
Oh, yeah, of course.
31
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,858
Well, no, not quite.
32
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,661
‐ But congratulations.
‐ Thank you.
33
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,496
You have come
a long way since local TV.
34
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,632
Yeah, well, you know, I'm just
trying to find my footing.
35
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,401
Oh, I remember when
I was new and insecure here.
36
00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:10,704
‐ Really?
‐ Oh, of course, yes.
37
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:11,738
No, not quite.
38
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:13,740
[laughing]
39
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,342
And, Robert, there's more, we
know that you're getting married
40
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:19,345
and we'd like to give ya
the Star Jones treatment.
41
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,115
I'm talkin' about sponsors
to help pay for the wedding
42
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:23,449
TV coverage the whole night.
43
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Say word.
44
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:26,887
Word.
45
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,655
That's what's up,
alright, listen.
46
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I'm, uh, I'm gonna go call Tia.
47
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,225
Oh, that is so sweet!
48
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,127
I used to make all
kinds of personal phone calls
49
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,328
when I first started here.
50
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‐ Really?
‐ Oh, yeah.
51
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,833
But I made sure they all came
from John Pierre's desk.
52
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,635
[laughing]
53
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,236
Oh, ho.
54
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,740
♪ Often I wish that we ♪
55
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,242
♪ Could take the time to see ♪
56
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,411
♪ The need there is to be ♪
57
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:54,147
♪ A family yeah ♪
58
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,316
♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪
59
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:58,685
♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪
60
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,587
♪ Time and seasons change ♪
61
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,356
♪ But we will still remain ♪
62
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,659
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
63
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,228
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
64
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:11,264
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
65
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♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪
66
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,405
[instrumental music]
67
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,176
Baby, I've been calling you
for an hour.
68
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,511
How come you're not
answering your phone?
69
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,179
Because, baby, Jonelle and I
70
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,948
have been very busy
planning every detail
71
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,482
of our perfect wedding.
72
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,785
Mm‐hm. Look at all
we came up with. Look
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00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,556
And half of this is empty. Yeah.
74
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,423
‐ What's so important, baby?
‐ Oh.
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00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:38,959
ET has made me
76
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,361
Mary Hart's guest anchor
on the weekends.
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00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:42,563
‐ Oh.
‐ Oh, wow!
78
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,264
‐ Congratulations.
‐ Yes.
79
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,533
Oh, I'm so proud of you,
you deserve it.
80
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:50,671
Oh, now, maybe we could get
a DJ for the reception.
81
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,706
I mean, you know,
not that your cousin's
82
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,776
acapella group
wasn't gonna rock the house.
83
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:56,977
Hey, check this out,
there's more.
84
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,211
ET is hookin' us up
85
00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,613
with a celebrity wedding planner
86
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,215
and he's gonna find sponsors
to pay for everything.
87
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,851
Oh, what about all our plans?
88
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,521
Handled.
89
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:08,922
Tia, you know I love you
90
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,324
but you were about
to have one tacky wedding.
91
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,358
No..
92
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,227
[doorbell dinging]
93
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,533
Hi, I am Paul.
Wedding planner extraordinaire.
94
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,735
Where's my bride?
95
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,938
Um, I'm thinkin' San Francisco.
96
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,741
There you are, just glowing.
97
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:28,975
Hey, uh, I'm Tia.
98
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,712
‐ Oh.
‐ Oh, okay.
99
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,914
Look at you,
that tiny little waist
100
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,316
those magnificent thighs
101
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,618
that bone structure.
102
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,721
Oh. If I were straight.
103
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,422
Oh, who am I kidding,
I would never be straight.
104
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:43,957
‐ No, no.
‐ Come on.
105
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,560
Uh, um, how did you know
I wasn't the bride?
106
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,329
I glow, too.
107
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:52,465
Honey, tragedy leaves evidence.
108
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,739
Now, I have got tons of ideas
109
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,875
for your fabulous
wedding extravaganza.
110
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,512
Princess bride, I'm gonna
have my way with you.
111
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,448
Well, Paul, you know,
Robert and I talked about it
112
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,984
and we want a simple wedding.
113
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:15,689
Princess bride,
let him have his way with you.
114
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:18,391
If I had a dollar for every time
I heard a man say that.
115
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,361
[instrumental music]
116
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,632
This is the moment of truth.
117
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:29,069
Dr. Bobby James
is about to remove the butterfly
118
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:33,306
from Sam's stomach
to save his life.
119
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,608
Can he do it?
120
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,712
Oh, no!
121
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:42,315
I killed Sam!
122
00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,350
It's okay, he was suffering.
123
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,989
I think you're good
at playing doctor.
124
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,423
[phone ringing]
125
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,858
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's not doctor
126
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,627
it's operation.
127
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,930
Now, you two decide what
you want me to beat you at next.
128
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,035
‐ Are you sad because you lost?
‐ Yeah.
129
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,005
There, is that better?
130
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,611
Girl, let me call you back.
131
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,618
Allison?
132
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,119
Did you just kiss Bobby?
133
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,955
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
134
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,727
Cool!
135
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,596
Yes, that is cool to have
a friend that's a boy
136
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,933
but...you're too young
to have a boyfriend
137
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,768
and he's too young to be one.
138
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,771
‐ Are you mad, mommy?
‐ No, no.
139
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,806
You just need to understand
being boyfriend and girlfriend
140
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,775
means something
totally different.
141
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,978
‐ Like what?
‐ Like what?
142
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,949
Like, um,
when a man and a woman..
143
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:52,786
Ooh, I can't say that.
144
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:56,456
Uh, when two people
love each other, they..
145
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,125
Kids, don't do drugs.
146
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,096
Well, how about this?
147
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,931
There's just
plenty of other things to do
148
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,132
if you're a kid.
149
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,635
‐ Like what?
‐ Like what?
150
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,072
I don't know, uh
151
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,774
do I look like a kid to you?
152
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,041
Let's just play another game.
153
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,377
‐ Like what?
‐ Like what?
154
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,047
[instrumental music]
155
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,416
So, before I go
156
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,719
here's the Thomas Harper
thought of the day.
157
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,154
Why do they gotta cast
the Halle Berrys of the world
158
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,856
for the role of Catwoman.
159
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,124
[meows]
160
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:34,127
Why don't they cast
Mo'Niques, huh? Why not?
161
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,429
I mean, all you gotta do
is have a little imagination
162
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,732
and a lot more leather. Mm.
163
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,000
You know what I'm sayin'?
164
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,568
This is Thomas Harper saying
165
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,837
see you L‐A‐ter.
166
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,572
[laughing]
167
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,173
Alright?
168
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,809
Are you crazy?
169
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,177
Uh, crazy talented.
Uh, Yeah, uh.
170
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,879
You know this
a live show, right?
171
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,148
You can't call Mo'Nique fat
on live television.
172
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:56,783
I didn't call her fat.
173
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:57,884
I called her..
174
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,586
Oh, this is live?
175
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,588
‐ Yeah.
‐ My bad.
176
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,890
Dirk, Mo'Nique's on the line.
177
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,060
She says, "Get your
skinny ass on the phone
178
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,029
before I call my lawyer."
179
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,633
She sounds nice.
180
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,235
Damn. Put her on hold, Turtle.
181
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,137
You gotta think
before you speak, man.
182
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,040
Dirk, the Thomas train
is goin' uptown.
183
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,042
So sit back and enjoy
the ride, dawg.
184
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,076
Wo‐woo!
185
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,578
[laughs]
186
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,715
Dirk, I'm takin' you
to lunch, man.
187
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,517
I got some big news for you.
188
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,085
You're Mary Hart's
weekend guest anchor.
189
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,654
Congratulations.
190
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,255
Damn, I just found out,
how did you know?
191
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,524
The Hollywood Reporter
called me, they wanted a quote.
192
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,260
I told them you slept
your way to the middle.
193
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,495
No, I told 'em you work hard
and you deserve it all.
194
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,598
Oh, thanks, man. So,
how's it goin' over here, man?
195
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,132
I've been watching the show, uh
196
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,501
is there anything
I can do to help?
197
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,736
Nothing to do,
the people have spoken.
198
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,706
We did a focus group,
they seem to love Thomas.
199
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,641
With him, I feel like
the show's evolving.
200
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,109
That's great, man,
well, look at us, man
201
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,712
they can't touch us,
we doin' our thing.
202
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,914
‐ We're invincible.
‐ Unstoppable.
203
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:03,249
‐ Unbelievable.
‐ Undeniable.
204
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,951
Incredible.
205
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,055
‐ Let's go to lunch.
‐ Yeah, yeah, let's go.
206
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,757
Cool, where are we going?
207
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,928
We goin' to Peno, you gonna
stay here and do your job.
208
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,867
Yes, sir.
209
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,541
[sighs]
210
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:31,044
Yo, Mo'Nique.
211
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,680
Yeah, this is Dirk Black.
212
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,917
Yeah, yeah,
we said that on live TV.
213
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,053
Well, why don't you say that
to my face at Peno?
214
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,755
Yeah, I‐I'll be the skinny man
215
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,957
dining without his assistant.
216
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,258
Yeah!
217
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:51,231
[instrumental music]
218
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,601
What're you all watching?
219
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,002
Uh, a tape of your old show
220
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,805
it look like the new guy
is not doing so well.
221
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,206
Now, I know
we promised Alicia Keys
222
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,676
would be here yesterday,
uh, but I also promised
223
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,845
that I will buy everybody
a car like Oprah did. Uh..
224
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,113
But y'all are still taking
the bus, aren't you?
225
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,616
[laughing]
Yeah!
226
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,220
Wow.
227
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,723
That was like
staring at the sun.
228
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,326
You know, he's tanking
the show, Robert.
229
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,896
Ah, uh, uh, look,
he'll be okay, alright?
230
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,831
Dirk just needs a little bit
more time to work with him.
231
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:28,034
How old is Dirk? Because this
may cut into his retirement.
232
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,837
And from what I understand,
time is the one thing
233
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,372
that the new guy doesn't have.
234
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,241
Well, time and talent.
235
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,943
What do you mean
he doesn't have any time?
236
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,913
I heard that they may be,
uh, cancelling Mr. LA.
237
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,349
‐ Dirk might be losing the show?
‐ Yeah.
238
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,384
Looks like you
made a smart move.
239
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,719
You jumped ship right in time.
240
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,020
Congratulations.
241
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,693
[instrumental music]
242
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,632
[instrumental music]
243
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,601
[knock on door]
244
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,337
Oh, Mr. Banks.
245
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,672
I wasn't expecting
their play date
246
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,140
to be over for a few more hours.
247
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,175
‐ Is something wrong?
‐ Oh, yeah.
248
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,212
See, the kids
were playin' hide and seek.
249
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,680
Allison wanted to hide first
250
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,415
but then Bobby said
he wanted to hide first.
251
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,852
So I said
they should compromise.
252
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,987
Uh, you did
the right thing, Mr. Banks.
253
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,322
Good parenting.
254
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,890
So you guys
will be back by 9:00?
255
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,325
Ha!
256
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,128
Anyway, Allison
finally let Bobby hide first
257
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,730
so to thank her
for her kindness
258
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,397
Bobby gave her a kiss.
259
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,037
Really? Yeah,
they did that the other day.
260
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,672
Well, why don't you
just give him a six pack
261
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:39,940
and let him watch Cinemax?
262
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,376
Um..
263
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:46,212
Bobby, baby, why don't you take
Allison in your room and play?
264
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,881
‐ Okay.
‐ Okay?
265
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,450
Keep the door open, man.
266
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,118
I can see around corners.
267
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,727
Okay, I had the same problem
when she kissed him.
268
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,996
But then I realized,
they're six.
269
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,165
Kissing is inappropriate
for six‐year‐olds.
270
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,234
Well, it was just
a kiss on the cheek.
271
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,469
You act like
it was something more.
272
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,037
The cheek is where
it all starts.
273
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,072
If they'll go for the cheeks
274
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,173
they'll go for the lips.
275
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,908
I was a little boy once.
276
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,244
Are you sure?
277
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,947
Look, maybe it's different
because you have a boy.
278
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,348
But I have a little girl.
279
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,350
Well, I was a little girl once
280
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:27,120
and if I gave a kiss
to a boy in the cheek
281
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,890
that's all it was,
just a kiss on the cheek.
282
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,492
‐ Nothing more.
‐ Well, times have changed.
283
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,828
MTV, BET
284
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,196
rump shaking and milk shakes
285
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,832
bringing people
to the yard, it's crazy.
286
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:39,866
You know, I think
they should play
287
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:40,934
with other kids for a while.
288
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,369
Allison, let's roll.
289
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,810
Bye, Bobby, I can't wait
to play doctor with you again.
290
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,112
[gasps]
291
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,780
It's operation, Allison, baby.
292
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,982
Remember? I said operation.
293
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,051
I was telling her operation
but she..
294
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,253
[instrumental music]
295
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,124
Join us tomorrow,
when we'll have
296
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,192
Will Smith's stand‐in
from "Hitch."
297
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,362
[chuckles]
You won't wanna miss that.
298
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,531
This is Thomas Harper saying
299
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:13,534
see you L‐A‐Ter.
300
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,502
[chuckles]
Later. Yeah.
301
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:18,905
Cut.
302
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,006
I should change my name
to Bill Franklin
303
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,243
'cause I'm, uh, money, yeah.
304
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,011
Yo, Dirk,
hey, man, when is Mr. LA
305
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,780
gonna have
a real celebrity on this show?
306
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:27,814
As soon as you stop..
307
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:28,982
[imitating Thomas]
308
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,152
You sound like a pimp on crack.
309
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,888
[laughing]
310
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,490
Damn, pimp, dawg.
311
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,425
That guy is great.
312
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,095
Should I find another job?
313
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:44,330
No, but do me a favor,
find me some deodorant.
314
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,799
I slept here last night
trying to figure out
315
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,367
how I'mma get this show
poppin' again.
316
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,401
Well, I'll just go out on a limb
317
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,236
and bring you some mouth wash.
318
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,407
Dirk, I was calling you
last night.
319
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,909
How come you're not
answering your phone?
320
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,544
Hey, man, I was out
all night with the ladies
321
00:12:57,578 --> 00:13:00,146
livin' the life
of a successful producer.
322
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,215
Well, yo, man, listen,
I heard that Mr. LA
323
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,084
might be getting cancelled.
That's not true, is it?
324
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,952
Get out of here,
you can't cancel Mr. LA.
325
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,153
Those are rumors, man.
326
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,989
It's the best show
on TV, brother.
327
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,223
Look, man, Dirk, we're boys.
328
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,893
You can be real
with me, alright?
329
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:16,362
Alright, well,
Thomas is no you
330
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,864
and that's makin'
some people nervous
331
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,466
but you were no you
when we first started.
332
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,902
Remember that,
you used to sweat so much
333
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,270
we had to put socks
up on your underarms.
334
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,939
If I can groom you,
I can groom him.
335
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,040
That's true.
336
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,575
Besides, if we do get cancelled
337
00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:30,877
I got a backup plan,
I just pitch three shows
338
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,579
to the station,
they're hot on all three.
339
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:34,247
‐ All three?
‐ That's right.
340
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,416
Damn, you gonna be programming
the whole network.
341
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,151
That's right,
what do we say, unstoppable
342
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,953
invincible, unbelievable, right?
343
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,588
You thought I was playing?
344
00:13:41,622 --> 00:13:43,256
Thank you.
345
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,591
Now, if you'll excuse me
346
00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:45,959
I have to head down south
347
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,928
and clean the dirty dirty.
348
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,967
[laughing]
349
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,937
[instrumental music]
350
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,511
Oh, Bobby, how are you
351
00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:06,012
ever gonna make
any new friends
352
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,213
if you don't at least talk
353
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,149
to the other kids
in the park?
354
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,551
I don't want any new friends
355
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:12,452
I want Allison back.
356
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:15,656
Well, what about Jessie,
next door?
357
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,190
He bites.
358
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,926
What about Cindy upstairs?
359
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,328
She spits when she talks.
360
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,066
Well, would you rather be
dry and alone?
361
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,167
Bring a rag.
362
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,135
[knock on door]
363
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:38,178
‐ Allison!
‐ Bobby!
364
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,618
Has your day been
as frustrating as mine?
365
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,020
This girl is driving me crazy.
It's..
366
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,455
Bobby this, Bobby that.
367
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,525
I give up. Their love won't die.
368
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,495
Well, maybe
we were over thinking it.
369
00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:56,697
Projecting our adult thoughts
370
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,632
on something so innocent.
371
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,568
And when I say we,
I mostly mean you.
372
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:05,606
I guess if we're having this
conversation ten years from now
373
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,273
we have something
to worry about.
374
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,309
That's right, that's true.
375
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,545
But Robert and I
are raising Bobby right
376
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,014
and I'm sure that you're doing
the same thing for Allison.
377
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,317
Yes, I am. I'm a damn good
father and a damn good man.
378
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,288
So you're divorced, right?
379
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,991
‐ Yeah.
‐ And you ain't got no man, huh?
380
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,260
Why?
381
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,495
Because if you don't..
382
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,698
...maybe I could
help you out with that.
383
00:15:31,732 --> 00:15:35,035
Maybe I can help you out.
384
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,671
And I'll bring Allison home
in a couple of hours.
385
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,975
Goodnight.
386
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,276
Could be.
387
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:47,681
[instrumental music]
388
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,084
Now, we have to get a close up
389
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,019
of the ring going on the finger.
390
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:56,389
Home Depot has bought
advertising on your nails.
391
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,724
‐ Home Depot?
‐ Oh, I know.
392
00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:59,192
The orange is wretched
393
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:02,763
but they paid
for your honeymoon. Moving on.
394
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:05,031
Tiffany's is providing the bling
395
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,267
for you and your bridesmaids.
396
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,002
Paul, do you have any idea
397
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,403
how many children are exploited
398
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:11,572
in the diamond mines of Africa?
399
00:16:11,605 --> 00:16:13,273
I cannot be a part of that.
400
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,076
Tia, you can't deny
you love my diamond necklace.
401
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,578
You don't have
a diamond necklace.
402
00:16:17,611 --> 00:16:19,379
Well, I would, if you shut up.
403
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,747
Go ahead, Paul.
404
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,650
Uh, okay, oh,
they covered it all, I..
405
00:16:23,684 --> 00:16:25,752
No, tomorrow morning at 10:00
406
00:16:25,786 --> 00:16:28,321
there is a casting call
for the role of Jonelle.
407
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,023
‐ Excuse me?
‐ Oh.
408
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:31,525
Not that there's
anything wrong with you, honey
409
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,227
you're a doll, I love it,
pretty, pretty, pretty.
410
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,062
But, you're not Latin.
411
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,131
And Latin
is muy caliente right now.
412
00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:41,702
Now, I gotta go.
I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
413
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:44,237
‐ What's up, Paul.
‐ Hey, sexy. Oh.
414
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,642
Baby, there's only room
415
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,545
for one queen in my wedding, me.
416
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,747
Baby, I just found out
that Mr. LA
417
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,082
might be getting cancelled,
can you believe that?
418
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:59,119
‐ How's Dirk handling that?
‐ Surprisingly good.
419
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,654
But that's because
he has three other shows
420
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,222
that the network is gonna buy.
421
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,057
[mumbles]
422
00:17:05,659 --> 00:17:07,060
What's that for?
423
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,695
Nothing.
424
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,099
Oh, for the past two weeks
425
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,802
Dirk has been spending
every night in the bathroom.
426
00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:17,137
He turns on the shower
427
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,439
to cover up
the sound of his cryin'.
428
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:23,109
Then he just sounds like
he's cryin' underwater.
429
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,411
And then there's no hot water
left for me to take my shower.
430
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,549
See, this is what
I have to live with.
431
00:17:28,582 --> 00:17:31,417
Oh, no, but he's happy
for you, Robert.
432
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,220
Oh, poor Dirk.
433
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,690
[exhales]
I left him hanging.
434
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,224
They dangle the carrot
in front of me
435
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,761
and I take off runnin'
first chance I get.
436
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:42,128
No, but you have to admit
437
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,664
that was one mighty
438
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:47,367
good‐lookin',
juicy, sweet carrot.
439
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,337
Sorry, I just like carrots.
440
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,707
I think we can agree
441
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,611
we all like carrots.
442
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,846
But, Robert, come on, honey
443
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,248
that's not how it happened
and you know it, right?
444
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,550
Dirk knows it too,
so, please stop
445
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:04,851
beating yourself up about it.
446
00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:07,187
Baby, how can I not feel
responsible for this?
447
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,789
Dirk is my best friend.
448
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:11,324
It's okay, Robert.
449
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,594
Ay, dios mio!
450
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,763
[speaking in foreign language]
451
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,866
Shoot, talking about
I can't be Latin
452
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,803
I could be Latin. Uno, dos,
tres, quattro, cinco, seis..
453
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:31,111
[instrumental music]
454
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,415
Hey, Brian, can I holler
at you for a minute?
455
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,283
Have I offended you,
why must you yell
456
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,520
and scream at me for nothing?
457
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:40,621
No, no, no, it means‐‐
458
00:18:40,654 --> 00:18:41,855
I know, I'm kidding.
459
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:42,889
Kid‐ding.
460
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,290
[laughing]
461
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,626
I'm cooler than you think.
462
00:18:45,659 --> 00:18:46,760
Robert, what's up?
463
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,261
Listen, um, I was wonderin'
464
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,930
if you can push
my promotion back a month.
465
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,565
Oh, you betcha,
I'll just shut down
466
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,267
production tomorrow,
and you can holler at me
467
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,869
when you're ready.
468
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,571
‐ Are you bein' sarcastic?
‐ Of course I am.
469
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,939
That's impossible.
470
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,775
What is goin' on with you,
Robert?
471
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,810
You know what's goin' on
over at Mr. LA, right?
472
00:19:03,844 --> 00:19:05,478
Well, to be honest with you
473
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,614
I feel obligated
to help my friend out.
474
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:09,650
Look, I, I'm sorry
about what's goin' on
475
00:19:09,683 --> 00:19:11,618
with your friend and his job
476
00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:15,922
but your obligation's now
with us here at ET.
477
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:20,527
Well, I'm gonna have
to respectfully resign.
478
00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:22,729
And I'm gonna have
to respectfully say
479
00:19:22,763 --> 00:19:23,897
are you insane?
480
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:24,931
Look, Brian, I know
481
00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:26,299
you guys have been good to me
482
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,468
but this is about me
sleepin' at night.
483
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:29,503
If you're
having trouble sleeping
484
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,606
try counting affiliates, Robert.
485
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,308
Brian, I gotta do this.
486
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,778
Look, your emotions
are doing the talking right now.
487
00:19:37,811 --> 00:19:39,746
I tell you what,
take a couple of days
488
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:41,447
think about it, okay?
489
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,383
I'd hate to lose you
and I would like to think
490
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,820
that you would feel
the same about us.
491
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:53,527
‐ Thanks for everything, Brian.
‐ No problem.
492
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,596
You know, Mary Hart left once.
493
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,397
‐ Really?
‐ No, never.
494
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,932
[laughing]
495
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,567
Kidding.
496
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,302
Kid..
497
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,605
[instrumental music]
498
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,379
You know, baby, since I left ET
499
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,015
I don't think they'll be paying
for our wedding.
500
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,418
Well, since I fired Paul,
I know they won't.
501
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,423
[speaking in foreign language]
502
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,892
I got the part.
I got the part of Juanelle!
503
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:30,263
[laughing]
504
00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:35,569
[theme music]
35828
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