Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Aah! This is so exciting.

I cannot believe I am moving in...again.

[Robert laughs]

Well, you know I'm not lettin' you leave again.

You gonna be my love hostage.

Ooh! I'm a little scared, yet intrigued.

[both laughing]

I can't believe how corny he is.

It's not like he didn't already hit that.

Well, you know I've been known to interrogate my hostages

for long periods of time.

Well, you could try, sir

but you will never get it out of me.

[laughs]

Oh, get a room, you two.

Oh, you know what, we have one.

You two are in it.

Aah.

Uh, why are you stealin' my make‐up?

This is a make‐up bag?

I thought this was a karaoke machine.

All of that for one face?

You should see her pillow.

Look like she smothered a clown.

And I'm about to smother another one.

So, you must be excited to have Tia back.

Yeah, sleepin' in the same bed

with the same woman

day after day..

...minute after minute.

It's a joy for any man.

Hey, baby.

Did you leave this rice cake on my pillow?

I sure did. I was gonna leave tofu, but it made a puddle.

It just feels so good to be in our bedroom again.

Just like old times.

‐ Just like old times. ‐ Yeah.

[doorbell ringing]

Hi, y'all.

Yep.

Just like old times.

♪ Often I wish that we ♪

♪ Could take the time to see ♪

♪ The need there is to be a family yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it's all of us ♪

♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

♪ Time and seasons change ♪

♪ But we will still remain ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

‐ Hello, Tia. ‐ Neesee.

Tia.

Neesee.

Okay!

That's the name game!

Hey, uh, Bobby, why don't you go outside

and play with Jonelle and Uncle Dirk?

Play what?

Play like you're not inside.

I got 20 on Neesee.

She been workin' out.

You know, honey, I'd like to speak to Neesee alone.

About what?

And I'd like to talk to Tia alone, too.

Oh, you two brainstormin'

about what to get me for my birthday?

I'll be back.

So, what's up?

Look, honey, I...I can handle this.

Are you sure?

I have to handle this.

If things go bad

there's a bat under the couch.

And if that don't work..

...go for her eyes.

You know, Neesee's from the streets.

Get out of the room.

[sighing]

Okay, look, Neesee, I just wanted to let you know

I'm not comfortable with what happened between you and Robert.

I don't blame you.

Well, you know, actually, nothing happened.

I know, but it could have.

‐ But it didn't. ‐ Alright.

How'd you feel if you were in my shoes?

Uh, those particular shoes?

I'm sorry.

I know what you're talkin' about and I wouldn't like it.

But believe me when I say, I feel nothing for Robert.

Nothing.

Blank!

Empty space.

Flat‐line.

[imitates ECG flat‐lining]

Okay, okay, I believe you.

Look, Neesee, I really think we can make this work.

Now, Robert and I, we're startin' out with a clean slate

and I'd like to think you and I can do the same.

I'd like that, Tia.

I was talking with my therapist about our situation

and she thought it would be a good idea

if I extended the olive branch and tried to be friendly.

Sounds like good advice.

Except, I don't know where to get an olive branch.

But one of my clients gave me a skybox to the Lakers game

and I was gonna take Bobby and some of my friends.

But now I'm thinking, we should all go.

[instrumental music]

[Tia shrieks]

Damn, Neesee's killin' my baby.

Give me my money.

I did not wanna fight today, but..

Hey, guess what, everybody?

Neesee got us a skybox to the Laker game.

‐ Wow! ‐ Yeah!

I told y'all Neesee was good, people.

Can I come to the game too, mommy?

Of course, puddin', the whole family's goin'.

[music continues]

Uh‐uh, I said family.

Not entourage.

Oh, y'all can come too.

[instrumental music]

(man on TV) 'Calling all space guardians!'

Mom, I was watching "Mercury Mel."

Well, I'm calling all space guardians to bed.

Mom, can I ask you something?

Ha.. For the tenth time, you cannot flush yourself

down the toilet to get to the beach.

So, what else you got?

Who's gonna marry you?

What's making you ask that?

Well, Uncle Dirk married Ms. Abrahams.

Tia lives with daddy.

And you and Johnny aren't getting married anymore

so..

So, I have to meet the right man

and fall in love.

And when I do that, you'll be the first to know.

I'll find someone for you, mommy.

Oh!

Sweetie..

...you're the only man I need in my life right now.

But you're still not stayin' up.

Oh, man.

[instrumental music]

Son, you know, your pop used to play

a little bit of ball back in the day.

So, you have any questions, just ask.

What's travelling?

Mm, what that joker's doing right there.

Good call, ref! Aah, that's a walk!

Hey, Bobby, why don't you go and get me some shrimp?

Oh, and don't forget the cocktail sauce.

Oh, and the napkin, son.

Dirk, pass me some champagne, man.

Anything else, pharaoh?

That cookie sure looks good.

Good cookie.

‐ I bet it tastes good, too. ‐ Mm.

Tasty cookie.

Can I have a piece?

‐ My cookie. ‐ Ooh!

Turtle wouldn't share his cookie.

Can I get my own?

Hmm, um.. Oh, no, sweetie.

We got some more food coming.

And you don't wanna spoil your appetite, okay?

‐ Can I get a cookie? ‐ What did Tia just tell you?

She said, "No."

‐ Spell it for me. ‐ N‐O.

Good, now you got a lesson and an answer.

I got everything but a cookie.

(Jonelle) Aw!

Look at the poor thing.

I feel terrible. He probably hates me now.

Well, Tia, never mind him.

I don't know what goes on in his head sometime.

Just last night, he was talkin' about

finding someone to marry me.

Aw. Well, now, I really wanna get the boy a cookie.

No, you don't.

Cookie!

Oh, my God! Look, we're on the jumbotron!

‐ Look! Hey! ‐ Hi, there.

Hey, Bobby, come get in the middle.

‐ Hi! ‐ Bobby!

Wha.. Where's Bobby?

Bobby!

‐ Oh.. ‐ Bobby!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[gasping] Mercury Mel!

Hello and welcome to Steven's birthday party!

Are you ready to be an official guardian of the galaxy?

Mercury Mel, you're my hero!

Let's have a good time!

[cheering]

Hey, have you seen this boy?

Have you seen this boy?

Ah, excuse me. Hey, have you seen this boy?

This is my son. He's missing.

No, can't say that we have. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Ow, slow down, slow down.

Oh, Mr. L. A. What's happening with you, man?

‐ Yo, what's up, man? ‐ You good?

No, man. My son is missin'. Have you seen him?

I've been signin' autographs, man.

But I can hook you up real quick, let me check it out.

Hey, anybody seen my little homie?

He's like a son to me.

‐ What's his name? ‐ Bobby.

Bobby!

‐ Damn. ‐ Ah, man, don't worry about it.

Tucker, take a look at that picture, man. Look around.

‐ Make sure we find him. ‐ I appreciate that, X.

And when you do find him, you give him a copy of this for me.

It's my new album, "Weapons of Mass Destruction."

It's for the kids.

‐ Alright, man. I'll get at you. ‐ Ah, man, whatever it is.

(Neesee) Robert?

I've checked the car to see if he went back there.

They're gonna make an announcement.

‐ Security is on its way up. ‐ Okay.

Alright, look. I can't find Bobby anywhere.

Okay, you know what we need to do? Uh, we should check the car.

And we should make an announcement

and we need to get security up here.

Tia, did you eat stupid for breakfast?

I mean, really. Don't you think we've already done those things?

‐ Jeez! ‐ I..

‐ Don't‐‐ ‐ No, she didn't just try..

Okay, whoa, whoa.

[chanting in foreign language]

You know what, that's a good idea.

Call Buddha, any other God that you know.

I'm gonna go check the bathroom.

Okay.

Whoa! Okay, strike.

[laughs] Who's next?

I am!

[sobbing] No! I wa‐wanna hit it again!

Angel.

Darling..

Heaven forbid, mommy has to talk to you about your attitude.

[cheering]

Alright, I'm going to need a quick description

of the missing child.

‐ How old is he? ‐ Five.

But he's goin' on six.

He didn't ask what he was goin' on.

He said, "How old is the missing child?"

I know, but he's gonna be six in a couple of months.

‐ It's all I'm sayin'. ‐ He not gonna be six today!

‐ I know, but he‐‐ ‐ Oh, please, please.

I get it.

He's between five and six.

Now, what's his eye color?

‐ Brown. ‐ Hazel.

What Bobby are you talkin' about?

The one with the brown eyes.

Which one are you talkin' about?

It's an easy mistake to make.

Now, more importantly, what was he wearing?

That's a good question.

Black shirt and jeans.

No, it was a, a jean shirt with beige pants.

Actually, that was a turquoise Rocawear shirt.

Denim Sean John pants.

And he's five and a half, and he answers to big fellow.

Thank you, sir.

Do you two know anything about this kid?

He's short and black.

Well, he's definitely short

but he's more of a mocha.

Rhymes with jock‐a.

‐ Excuse me. ‐ Where's my son?

I'm startin' to get scared, Robert.

Oh, come on, Neesee, calm down.

It's alright, alright. Bobby's gonna be fine.

Now, let me handle this from here, okay?

Okay, fine, Robert.

I'll completely put it in your hands.

Hey, hey, hey, security.

What's takin' so long finding my baby?

We're workin' on it.

What do you mean, workin' on it, workin' on it?

How long does it take to work on it?

Ma'am, it's a process.

No. That hair is a process.

Ma'am, it's natural.

I'm a quarter‐Cherokee.

Then why don't you use your tracking skills

to find my son?

Sir, I understand your complete frustration

but I deal with this situation all the time.

And we always find the kids.

Well, you know who'd love to hear that speech?

‐ Mmm. ‐ My son!

‐ There! This guy! ‐ Okay, okay, honey.

Okay, calm down.

Pull yourself together, alright?

It's not his fault that Bobby's lost.

Exactly. It's Robert's fault.

‐ What? ‐ Inviting him to the game.

Talkin' about you gonna answer all his basketball questions.

Oh, oh, oh, Robert.

I gotta question you can answer.

Where's Bobby?

Well, the boy probably wouldn't have been lost

if you didn't tell him he couldn't have a cookie.

No. Get your facts straight.

It was Tia who said he couldn't have the cookie.

I was goin' with the flow.

Tryin' to keep up with the blended family thing.

Like one cookie gonna spoil his appetite.

Well, we wouldn't be here if you weren't flaunting

your little skybox.

If you hadn't needed time and broken up with Robert

I wouldn't have to pretend to be all nicey‐nice

and I'd be up here with people I like.

Don't nobody like you.

Nobody's tryin' to be you.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Listen, listen, listen..

That is enough. We need to stop arguing and be strong here.

Imagine how scared Bobby is right now.

[instrumental music]

♪ Cake cake cake I love cake ♪♪♪

You see him yet?

‐ Dirk! ‐ Huh?

You lookin' at cheerleaders, aren't you?

Hey, he could be anywhere, alright?

Can't leave any stone unturned.

Cookies.

How is it we can't remember anything about a boy

we see damn near every day?

What does that say about the kind of parents we'll be?

You're not pregnant, are you?

No!

Oh, well, then, we'll be great parents.

We're the most observant people I know.

[chuckles] That's true.

Where did Turtle go?

Turtle was here?

(Mercury Mel) 'Calling all space guardians to the floor.'

'We have some here, we need some more!'

Mercury Mel?

Mercury Mel!

Turtle!

Bobby?

You have a lot of people looking for you.

Come on.

I didn't know Mercury Mel was a brother.

Goodbye, Mercury Mel.

Goodbye, little guardian.

Mercury Mel, you're my hero.

Back off me, guardian.

I can't believe he just disappeared like that.

He was so upset. I should've just given him the cookie.

It's not your fault, Tia.

It's my fault.

Last night, he was worried about me bein' alone.

Maybe he's out there tryin' to find a man for me.

I don't know.

Hey, look, it's not your fault, Neesee, it's my fault.

I should've been teachin' him basketball, like I promised

instead of makin' him fetch me shrimp.

Now, come on, honey.

Don't beat yourself up, okay?

You are a good father.

And you love shrimp!

It could've happened to anybody.

‐ Mommy! ‐ Oh, Bobby!

Thank goodness!

You scared us to death.

Sweetie, I love you so much. Where were you?

I was at this party.

Mercury Mel was there.

I had cake, ice‐cream and cookies.

I even hit a pinata.

I love basketball.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself

'cause you're not gonna be goin' to another game

until you're 18 years old.

Since we here, still wanna know what travellin' is?

Tia, about those things I said earlier.

I'm, I'm sorry. I was just upset.

It's okay, I understand. We all were.

But to answer your question

no, I did not have stupid for breakfast.

Tia, I only said that because

you were pointin' out the obvious.

Oh, okay. We're pointing out the obvious now.

'Cause, you know, I could have a few things to say.

Like that purse you had, D‐K‐N‐O.

Okay.

Back to your shoes.

I mean, you're a smart shopper.

Why pay more when you can pay less?

Hey, hey, hey.

[chuckling] Hey, hey, look.

Why are we bringin' accessories into this?

We're supposed to be having fun.

Hey, look, we're on the big TV.

‐ Oh, oh! ‐ Ooh, yeah.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Bobby, what is all this?

[doorbell rings]

Ooh, quick, put this on.

Wha..

‐ Got it! ‐ Well, do you know who that is?

Mom, meet Mercury.

Mercury, meet mom.

Bobby, you're right.

Your mother is beautiful.

Out!

[instrumental music]

[theme music]