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1
00:00:01,451 --> 00:00:03,900
You stole from me.
I borrowed.
2
00:00:03,991 --> 00:00:06,009
Get out.
Jesus, woman.
3
00:00:07,555 --> 00:00:09,976
That is rich coming from you.
4
00:00:10,807 --> 00:00:14,172
He told me it would be OK if I found
a lover who could give me a baby.
5
00:00:14,197 --> 00:00:16,337
Well, that has to be a trap.
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,749
I feel like a teenager again.
(CHUCKLES)
7
00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:22,777
(ROCK MUSIC)
8
00:00:23,618 --> 00:00:25,610
Oh!
9
00:00:33,707 --> 00:00:35,579
(CAR HORN HONKS)
10
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,886
(HONKS HORN) All right! That's
enough of the tonsil hockey!
11
00:00:39,050 --> 00:00:41,069
He's got a hard on. I can see it.
12
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:45,162
God. Shut up, Mandy! Get
your arse out of the front seat.
13
00:00:45,204 --> 00:00:47,108
Are you sure you
don't wanna join us?
14
00:00:47,251 --> 00:00:49,174
I'm still gonna say no.
15
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:52,312
Not that your racist grandma
doesn't sound like a lovely person.
16
00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:54,836
I'll have you know that Grandma Miller
is the sweetest person in the world
17
00:00:54,879 --> 00:00:57,789
and she'll absolutely love you.
Yeah, mainly cos you're not brown.
18
00:00:57,814 --> 00:00:59,724
Mandy, get in the car!
19
00:01:03,317 --> 00:01:06,067
Well, if you're gonna stay here,
you better sort your shit out.
20
00:01:06,092 --> 00:01:10,812
I'm working on it. Wedding rings - I want
options on my return. And find a best man.
21
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:14,237
Well, I haven't decided who yet.
By the time I get back.
22
00:01:14,262 --> 00:01:17,144
Anyone except Eric,
Falani or Sparky.
23
00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:19,157
Mandy!
Have fun.
24
00:01:19,848 --> 00:01:21,748
(MOUTHS)
25
00:01:21,906 --> 00:01:23,749
(BLUES GUITAR MUSIC)
26
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:29,871
So, Wolfie. Cheryl's away, and when
Cheryl's away, Wolf is keen to play.
27
00:01:30,079 --> 00:01:31,914
Not this time, Eric.
Oh, come on, mate.
28
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,657
It's about time we had a good old-fashioned
bender and pushed the boat out a little.
29
00:01:35,682 --> 00:01:39,651
My diary is wide open. Can't, sorry.
Cheryl's given rne more wedding duties.
30
00:01:39,676 --> 00:01:41,601
Oh. Crap.
31
00:01:41,626 --> 00:01:44,138
What is it this time? She wants
rne to get the wedding rings.
32
00:01:44,196 --> 00:01:51,279
Oh. Eternal love and happiness, eh? Mm.
Something like that. Where did Dad get yours?
33
00:01:51,304 --> 00:01:53,928
(THE DANCE EXPONENTS'
'GONE FOREVER IN ANOTHER CAR' PLAYS)
34
00:01:54,008 --> 00:01:56,128
You'll have to ask him. There's shitloads
of rings down at the Galleria.
35
00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:58,154
Why don't you just
give her one of those?
36
00:01:58,228 --> 00:02:05,268
Because Cheryl's requested that the rings
aren't st0len_ Oh. Well, la de fucking da_
37
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:09,590
What other wedding duties
has Cheryl burdened you with'?
38
00:02:09,769 --> 00:02:14,080
Nothing that important.
Just picking out my best man.
39
00:02:15,518 --> 00:02:19,826
VVolf, can I just say that it would be the greatest
honour for me to be by your side on your big day-
40
00:02:19,851 --> 00:02:25,672
Can I just say that I would be the best
best man in the history of best men.
41
00:02:25,727 --> 00:02:28,147
Sparky, looking good there.
42
00:02:28,646 --> 00:02:35,345
Thanks. Well, I'm off to see my girlfriend.
See ya later, lonely losers and Wolf.
43
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:38,999
That is how a best
man presents himself.
44
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:42,787
You're seriously considering Sparky? Do you
want your wedding to end up in a fireball?
45
00:02:42,899 --> 00:02:45,620
He is desperately underqualified
and also dangerous to others.
46
00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:48,017
But for starters, I need someone
who knows how to scrub up.
47
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,035
Then I'm your man.
Nice try, boys.
48
00:02:50,162 --> 00:02:55,282
But at this stage, looks like
Sparky's the best man for the job.
49
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,195
(CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS)
50
00:02:58,355 --> 00:03:03,770
Forgive rne, Father, for I have sinned. It's
been three days since my last confession.
51
00:03:03,928 --> 00:03:05,781
Two days, Phineas.
52
00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,754
Really?
Really.
53
00:03:09,427 --> 00:03:13,873
Father, I've been sleeping
with the prostitutes again.
54
00:03:13,934 --> 00:03:18,289
And while I'm doing it with
them, I think of Carol,.._...
55
00:03:19,026 --> 00:03:22,658
and then I think of God,
and then I start to cry.
56
00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:25,726
Yes, I'm aware of this.
57
00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:31,340
And then we stop doing it because
my tears are making her feel weird,
58
00:03:31,398 --> 00:03:34,097
and we just lie there and talk...
59
00:03:35,707 --> 00:03:38,355
just like Carol and I used to do.
60
00:03:39,865 --> 00:03:42,209
It's kind of nice.
Phineas...
61
00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:45,765
you can confess to God all you want.
62
00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:52,975
But until you are honest with those you are
close to, you will never be free of sin.
63
00:03:54,596 --> 00:03:56,674
You mean tell Carol?
64
00:03:58,464 --> 00:04:00,552
But...
65
00:04:00,885 --> 00:04:02,793
will she forgive me'?
66
00:04:03,127 --> 00:04:06,175
Pretty sweet pad.
Yeah, beats a motel.
67
00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:09,739
So, you reckon you'll
be coming home soon'?
68
00:04:09,809 --> 00:04:12,187
Why'? Did your mother say something?
69
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,250
No. I was just wondering.
70
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:20,049
Oh right. Did you come overjust to watch us
eat breakfast or was there something else?
71
00:04:20,207 --> 00:04:23,643
Yeah, I wanted some advice
about wedding rings.
72
00:04:23,674 --> 00:04:26,189
(LAUGHS) And you're asking us?
73
00:04:26,345 --> 00:04:29,856
Why shouldn't he? Well, Bilkey can't get
married, cos he doesn't bone chicks,
74
00:04:30,013 --> 00:04:33,400
and we're not even living with our wives - we're
not exactly marriage role models, are we?
75
00:04:33,578 --> 00:04:36,603
Have a nice day, Lefty.
(CLEARS THROAT)
76
00:04:36,628 --> 00:04:39,110
Look, you want my advice,
don't go overboard.
77
00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:42,020
There's no sense in getting all
wound up over a tiny piece of metal.
78
00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:45,315
I think the point Ted's trying to make is
that it doesn't need to be too extravagant.
79
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:52,378
No, I got mine at a little place just outside
of VVaihi. The cheapest ring in the store.
80
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:54,377
(BLUES GUITAR MUSIC)
81
00:04:56,148 --> 00:04:58,787
Tell you what - why don't
you let me take care of it'?
82
00:04:58,944 --> 00:05:04,326
Seriously? Yeah, I've got no other
pressing business to attend to.
83
00:05:04,351 --> 00:05:08,113
You fancy a trip down the line? Yeah, why not?
I'll make sure he gets something Cheryl likes.
84
00:05:08,272 --> 00:05:11,108
Leave it with us, son. Two wedding
rings by the end of the day.
85
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:15,186
You sure your mum's not home? She's
at the Galleria all day. Or Lefty?
86
00:05:15,363 --> 00:05:17,503
Doesn't live here any more.
87
00:05:19,963 --> 00:05:22,599
Wait. Do you think this is wrong'?
88
00:05:22,624 --> 00:05:24,631
No. Yeah.
89
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:29,136
I don't know. Why? Us making out in my
room when the Americans are invading.
90
00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:32,536
They are?
The USS Texas.
91
00:05:32,561 --> 00:05:35,205
Oh. You mean that big boat
that's arriving tomorrow?
92
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:39,667
The USS Texas is not a boat, Sparky;
it's a nuclear-powered warship.
93
00:05:39,729 --> 00:05:46,121
And it goes against everything we stand for
as a nation. We should be out protesting.
94
00:05:46,149 --> 00:05:48,945
Or we could be making love, not war.
95
00:05:49,745 --> 00:05:53,046
And don't get me started
on Dial-a-Sailor. Eh?
96
00:05:53,073 --> 00:05:56,822
It's disgusting. They might
as well call it Dial-a-Dick!
97
00:05:56,847 --> 00:06:03,024
Because they're being dicks? Yeah, but
it's not about that. It's about...
98
00:06:03,049 --> 00:06:04,942
feminism.
99
00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:08,556
How do you know about feminism?
Because...
100
00:06:08,714 --> 00:06:10,582
l am a feminist.
101
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:12,654
Really?
Yeah.
102
00:06:12,701 --> 00:06:17,480
I think women should be treated
with respect at all times.
103
00:06:18,584 --> 00:06:20,563
That's so cute.
104
00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:22,674
(SULTRY GUITAR MUSIC)
105
00:06:22,704 --> 00:06:24,658
(BOTH SMOOCH)
106
00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:26,806
(SIGHS)
107
00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:32,413
This is not normal. You know that. You only call me
when you feel like a fuck. It's a bit disrespectful.
108
00:06:32,569 --> 00:06:34,811
Well, if you're not happy with the
arrangement- I'm not saying that;
109
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,194
I'm just saying it's not the
normal way of doing things.
110
00:06:37,337 --> 00:06:41,634
There are gonna be protests all over the
city. All my friends are gonna be there.
111
00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:44,823
But not you?
No. Mum won't let me.
112
00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:46,862
How would you like it if
it was the other way around'?
113
00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:49,066
Are you sure you want to
start this argument, Lefty?
114
00:06:49,091 --> 00:06:52,031
What if I was to demand sex from
you whenever I felt like it'?
115
00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:53,972
Well, then, that would be most
of our marriage, wouldn't it'?
116
00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:58,424
Hey, that's not fair. Well, if all
you're gonna do is whine about it...
117
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,410
I'm not.
118
00:07:01,145 --> 00:07:04,265
WHISPERS: Then fucking do it, Lefty.
119
00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:11,125
(GASPS) Shit.
120
00:07:12,859 --> 00:07:15,030
Hold that thought.
I will.
121
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:17,011
(ROCK MUSIC)
122
00:07:17,238 --> 00:07:19,462
(GASPS)
You little pervert!
123
00:07:19,828 --> 00:07:25,936
Please don't be unreasonable about this.
I told you to stay away from her!
124
00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:30,344
Get back here, you little bastard!
125
00:07:30,386 --> 00:07:32,334
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
126
00:07:32,376 --> 00:07:34,361
Arm!
127
00:07:37,201 --> 00:07:39,432
You can run, but you
can't hide, you creep!
128
00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:42,877
Lefty, get back here.
You're a disgrace!
129
00:07:42,902 --> 00:07:44,767
Sue. Charlie.
130
00:07:44,837 --> 00:07:46,827
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
131
00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:51,407
(BIRDS CHIRP)
132
00:07:51,519 --> 00:07:53,359
Hello, Carol.
Brian.
133
00:07:53,693 --> 00:07:55,504
Hi.
134
00:07:55,604 --> 00:08:00,205
Look,Sheba. It's your pug
friend Barry. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
135
00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:02,993
So how's things, Carol'?
136
00:08:03,018 --> 00:08:04,934
VVell...
137
00:08:04,959 --> 00:08:07,007
I'm not quite sure.
138
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:09,845
I'm living a lie, I guess.
139
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:13,225
That doesn't sound
like too much fun.
140
00:08:13,434 --> 00:08:15,951
It's not a barrel of laughs, no.
141
00:08:16,545 --> 00:08:20,586
Well, if there's anything
I can do, you let me know, OK'?
142
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:25,466
There really isn't.
Thanks, Brian. You're a good person.
143
00:08:27,368 --> 00:08:29,309
Bye, Carol.
144
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,336
Come on.
145
00:08:35,519 --> 00:08:37,473
Phineas.
146
00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:39,894
Are you OK'?
147
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:43,916
I've got something
to tell you, Carol...
148
00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:47,384
something big.
149
00:08:48,184 --> 00:08:50,171
OK.
150
00:08:52,569 --> 00:08:54,631
It's about prostitutes.
151
00:08:56,299 --> 00:08:58,285
What about them'?
152
00:09:00,697 --> 00:09:02,915
They've been having sex...
153
00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:07,779
with me.
154
00:09:11,004 --> 00:09:14,376
Why?
Well, I paid them m.
155
00:09:14,401 --> 00:09:16,401
(SCOFFS)
156
00:09:17,616 --> 00:09:19,679
Carol...
157
00:09:19,917 --> 00:09:21,529
I am so sorry.
158
00:09:22,547 --> 00:09:25,363
I keep trying to stop, but I can't.
159
00:09:26,226 --> 00:09:28,197
(SIGHS) I...
160
00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:31,633
I don't know what to say.
161
00:09:33,966 --> 00:09:37,751
I always thought I satisfied
your needs in the bedroom.
162
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,655
You did.
163
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:42,036
But then we stopped.
164
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:49,830
Because you couldn't any more, because you couldn't
give me a baby and it was doing your head in_
165
00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:54,121
At least that's what I thought.
It was. It still is.
166
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,890
But I have needs.
167
00:10:01,714 --> 00:10:03,678
You know what I mean'?
168
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,943
(SIGHS)
169
00:10:10,048 --> 00:10:11,918
I think I have to go.
170
00:10:14,551 --> 00:10:16,478
Carol!
171
00:10:16,564 --> 00:10:18,478
(DOOR SLAMS)
172
00:10:18,812 --> 00:10:20,807
(ROCK MUSIC)
173
00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:22,194
I'm not usually
a competitive person.
174
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,401
But when it comes to weddings,
I must do away with modesty.
175
00:10:25,511 --> 00:10:27,637
Yeah, right (I) I'm way
less competitive than you.
176
00:10:27,662 --> 00:10:31,483
I have attended over 20 family weddings,
and there is a very low rate of divorce.
177
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:36,277
So you've been to a few weddings.
Big fucking deal. Eh, Wolf'?
178
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:41,908
At least he'll know where to stand. I know where to
stand, mate - up the front, where I've always been,
179
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,016
your wingman.
180
00:10:44,413 --> 00:10:46,439
A wingman is the opposite
to a best man.
181
00:10:46,598 --> 00:10:51,441
Not in my books, mate. Look, I could have
rooted Jeanette or Anne-Marie, or Cheryl, even.
182
00:10:51,582 --> 00:10:55,356
They were all over me like a rash.
But no, I let Wolf go there first,
183
00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:58,485
and now he's gonna marry one of them.
You have no class.
184
00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:02,269
VVOlf, can you put Falani out of his misery
and just tell him that you've picked me?
185
00:11:02,382 --> 00:11:08,131
Sorry, Eric, but my gut still tells
me that Sparky's the man for the job.
186
00:11:08,165 --> 00:11:11,399
(SPACE WALTZ'S
'SCARS OF LOVE' PLAYS)
187
00:11:12,398 --> 00:11:14,357
OK.
188
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:19,638
You're not even supposed to be here. Excuse me, young
lady_ You're the one who is supposed to be at school,
189
00:11:19,723 --> 00:11:22,576
not here, studying hanky-panky
with Captain Wanky.
190
00:11:22,733 --> 00:11:24,581
I was talking to Dad.
Eh?
191
00:11:24,786 --> 00:11:28,588
You don't live here any more. Hey, I still own
this bloody house, in case you weren't aware.
192
00:11:28,715 --> 00:11:30,804
You two are so hypocritical.
193
00:11:30,829 --> 00:11:36,899
Your father popped a button on his trousers, and I
was doing him a favour, helping him sew it back on.
194
00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:39,380
Oh, crap. And also ew!
195
00:11:39,411 --> 00:11:42,637
Enough of your cheek. I think
you'll find that in my book,
196
00:11:42,781 --> 00:11:46,813
truancy is a much greater crime than
helping out your useless husband.
197
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:50,743
Eh? So if I catch you with Sparky
again, clothed or unclothed,
198
00:11:50,774 --> 00:11:53,169
you will be grounded until
your 18th birthday.
199
00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:55,970
You can't make rules like
that. I have free will.
200
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:58,186
Not under my roof, you don't.
201
00:11:58,211 --> 00:12:00,110
Argh!
202
00:12:02,029 --> 00:12:04,816
Let her cool off.
It usually takes a couple of hours.
203
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,288
Enough time to get back 10...'?
204
00:12:09,192 --> 00:12:11,172
Call me if you need me.
205
00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:15,480
Great bit of country, this.
Mm. Not manyjewellery stores, but.
206
00:12:15,507 --> 00:12:17,537
You sure you know
where this place is'?
207
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:23,018
Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday. I'd
just managed t0 steal Rita away from her old man,
208
00:12:23,195 --> 00:12:26,445
and we shot down the East Coast
to hide out for a few days,
209
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:31,324
turned into a couple of weeks dossing in
small towns, not a care in the world.
210
00:12:31,424 --> 00:12:36,229
Then on the way back, we stopped into this jewellery
store and got the rings. VVell, I bought the rings.
211
00:12:36,387 --> 00:12:40,638
Rita went for cigarettes.
Sounds hideously romantic.
212
00:12:40,781 --> 00:12:42,944
Yeah, it was, looking back.
213
00:12:46,296 --> 00:12:48,290
(DOOR SHUTS)
214
00:12:51,869 --> 00:12:55,075
Hey, she hasn't said anything, has she?
VVh0, Rita?
215
00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:59,219
Yeah. I know she tells you things
she doesn't tell other people.
216
00:12:59,261 --> 00:13:02,744
Sometimes. Not recently, no.
217
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:08,621
No. That's all right. I was just trying
t0 get the lay of the land, really.
218
00:13:08,646 --> 00:13:12,874
You two will sort this out.
You always have in the past.
219
00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:19,507
Yeah, in the past. But on-again-off-again
shit's a lot easier when you're young.
220
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:24,810
Tell that to the 21-year-old
I slept with last week. (CHUCKLES)
221
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,665
But seriously,
222
00:13:27,690 --> 00:13:33,716
you're not like Ngaire and Lefty and Phineas and
Carol and every other straight couple I know -
223
00:13:33,831 --> 00:13:37,089
you two are made for each other.
For better or worse, right'?
224
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,584
Yeah. Yeah, well,
it can't get much worse.
225
00:13:44,919 --> 00:13:46,835
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
226
00:13:47,211 --> 00:13:49,275
My marriage is over.
227
00:13:51,128 --> 00:13:53,044
OK.
228
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:59,278
Phineas just told me he's been
sleeping with prostitutes.
229
00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:02,566
OK.
230
00:14:02,744 --> 00:14:05,956
You sit on the couch.
I'll get the drinks.
231
00:14:08,945 --> 00:14:15,143
I should have read the signs, Rita. We
aren't even sleeping in the same bed.
232
00:14:15,168 --> 00:14:20,514
And he's been having so many showers
lately. And it's all my fault.
233
00:14:20,673 --> 00:14:23,962
Carol, don't you dare.
234
00:14:23,987 --> 00:14:29,106
Do not blame yourself for him being a useless
male idiot who needs to fuck anything that moves,
235
00:14:29,151 --> 00:14:33,008
cos it makes him feel like a king
for five minutes of the day.
236
00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:40,447
But I put so much pressure on him with the baby
thing. Phineas isn't good at dealing with pressure.
237
00:14:40,609 --> 00:14:44,239
I thought you'd, kind of,
put the baby thing behind you.
238
00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:47,973
Yeah. Well, sort of.
239
00:14:48,131 --> 00:14:50,065
Mostly.
240
00:14:52,397 --> 00:14:59,816
Carol, you acted on it, didn't you? When Phineas
said you could find someone to knock you up.
241
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:03,080
You know he didn't really
mean that, right'?
242
00:15:03,105 --> 00:15:09,035
Carol, going out and fucking random guys
makes you almost as bad as Phineas. Almost.
243
00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:13,857
I would never do that. (SNIFFLES)
Maybe when I was younger.
244
00:15:14,969 --> 00:15:17,822
So not random, then.
245
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,379
It's not Ted,
if that's what you're thinking.
246
00:15:20,404 --> 00:15:23,436
It wouldn't worry me if it
was. You're welcome to him.
247
00:15:23,598 --> 00:15:25,680
Well that's lovely, but...
248
00:15:26,432 --> 00:15:28,448
Who is it'?
249
00:15:30,737 --> 00:15:32,521
Bert.
Ben Thompson?!
250
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,103
I I know what you think of Bert... I.
251
00:15:35,246 --> 00:15:37,148
but to me, he is caring...
252
00:15:37,934 --> 00:15:41,066
and lovely and enthusiastic.
253
00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:44,530
This is why you two were all
squirrely about the Riana thing.
254
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:48,339
Well, you were sending him out to
root her like he was a prostitute.
255
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:52,984
Oh, well, maybe I should have sent Phineas,
seeing as that's his area of expertise.
256
00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:54,982
That's a low blow, Rita.
257
00:15:58,183 --> 00:16:00,209
WHISPERS: Love...
258
00:16:01,458 --> 00:16:04,750
what has got into you'?
Apart from Bert.
259
00:16:05,018 --> 00:16:08,261
You can't tell Phineas.
He will kill Bert if he finds out.
260
00:16:08,455 --> 00:16:11,730
Well, yeah, Bert would deserve it.
Please, Rita.
261
00:16:11,892 --> 00:16:18,007
I'm not gonna tell anyone. But Carol,
you really need to sort your shit out.
262
00:16:18,248 --> 00:16:23,885
And that doesn't mean going back to Phineas.
Do not pity him, no matter how sad he looks.
263
00:16:23,911 --> 00:16:29,956
He's the one who should be crawling back to
you. And you really need to stop fucking Bert.
264
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,408
I will. Just one more time, and-
265
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:34,684
Carol, no more times.
266
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:37,009
But the sex is very good, Rita.
267
00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:42,605
Doesn't matter. If you keep doing
it with Bert, it will not end well.
268
00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:44,670
(SNEAKY MUSIC)
269
00:16:44,756 --> 00:16:46,673
(FOOTSTEPS CLICK)
270
00:16:47,513 --> 00:16:51,864
Terrible security. We should
have swung by at night-time.
271
00:16:51,926 --> 00:16:56,013
Can I help you?
Yeah, I certainly hope so. Ted West.
272
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:59,732
Not sure if you remember me. I bought
my wedding rings here back in the '60s.
273
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:03,456
Can't say I do, but I never
forget a piece ofjewellery.
274
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:08,664
Ah. Yeah, not the fanciest example, I
know, but all I could afford at the time.
275
00:17:08,733 --> 00:17:13,661
Well, it's the symbolism that counts.
So, who are we shopping for today?
276
00:17:13,835 --> 00:17:16,261
Ted's son.
Yeah, he's getting hitched soon.
277
00:17:16,419 --> 00:17:19,927
So I'm looking for a couple of
wedding bands, nothing too pricey.
278
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:22,967
Yeah, but nothing too cheap either.
279
00:17:24,657 --> 00:17:27,675
You should have stood up for yourself.
Mum and Dad aren't that scary.
280
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:31,052
Well, I wasn't wearing any clothes.
So?
281
00:17:31,077 --> 00:17:33,740
You're supposed to stand up to the
oppressors, not run away like a chicken.
282
00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:36,556
I'm not a chicken. Yes, you are.
I'm not.
283
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:39,760
In fact, I'm gonna join the
protest tomorrow. Whatever.
284
00:17:39,785 --> 00:17:42,872
I am. I'm gonna make the USS Texas
wish it never came down here.
285
00:17:42,918 --> 00:17:44,899
And how are you gonna do that'?
286
00:17:44,924 --> 00:17:47,606
By blowing a hole in the side of it.
287
00:17:47,909 --> 00:17:51,872
All we need to do is aim
the tinny at the Texas...
288
00:17:52,782 --> 00:17:56,661
and then boom. You do know you're
gonna blow yourself up too, eh?
289
00:17:56,872 --> 00:18:00,532
That's why I need you guys
to follow, in kayaks.
290
00:18:00,602 --> 00:18:02,579
Kayaks?
Mm.
291
00:18:02,604 --> 00:18:09,968
When the boats are on a collision course, but at a
safe distance, we are going to jump over the side,
292
00:18:10,021 --> 00:18:16,339
yeah? And then you guys come and do the
pickup just before the explosion hits.
293
00:18:19,546 --> 00:18:25,115
Sparky, sinking a nuclear warship in the
Auckland Harbour - is that a good idea?
294
00:18:25,258 --> 00:18:27,871
I'm not gonna sink it -
there isn't enough dynamite;
295
00:18:27,896 --> 00:18:30,791
I'm just gonna blow a hole in
the side to make a statement.
296
00:18:30,949 --> 00:18:33,260
Boats with holes in them sink.
297
00:18:33,889 --> 00:18:39,079
What if you blew up the nuclear reactor and the
radiation leaks out and turns us into mutant freaks?
298
00:18:39,104 --> 00:18:42,595
Mate, just let it go.
We said we're out, and we're out.
299
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,542
Wolf, you don't understand.
This is my chance to be someone.
300
00:18:45,603 --> 00:18:49,947
Give it up. Just chill out.
Have a smoke or something.
301
00:18:53,477 --> 00:18:55,627
At least you tried.
No...
302
00:18:55,785 --> 00:18:58,430
we're just getting started.
All we need is your mum's car.
303
00:19:00,257 --> 00:19:04,776
Awise choice, Mr West. Your son and
daughter-in-law will be very happy.
304
00:19:00,594 --> 00:19:01,504
(ROCK MUSIC)
305
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:08,561
Yeah, bloody better be.
Thanks for your time.
306
00:19:10,727 --> 00:19:14,859
Ted? ls there something
else I could help you with?
307
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:19,679
You never forget a piece ofjewellery,
right? Never have before.
308
00:19:19,795 --> 00:19:26,848
The last time I was in here, when I bought this, you
showed me a couple of rings first. VVhite gold.
309
00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:33,755
I know the ones you mean_ They've been very popular
over the years_ Are these what you remember?
310
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:41,514
Yeah, that's them. I said to myself I'd come back
and buy these as soon as I'd saved enough money,
311
00:19:41,568 --> 00:19:44,784
but, uh, well,
I never got around to it.
312
00:19:51,446 --> 00:19:53,376
Until now.
313
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:56,966
(PHONE RINGS)
314
00:20:02,143 --> 00:20:04,152
Hello.
Rita. Danny.
315
00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:09,714
Hi.
I need you to come over.
316
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,137
Why'?
Please?
317
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,125
It's urgent.
318
00:20:17,491 --> 00:20:19,422
OK.
319
00:20:24,676 --> 00:20:28,293
Carol, sorry, I, um,
have to go out for a bit.
320
00:20:28,338 --> 00:20:32,468
Do you want me to come with you?
No, no, it's fine. Oh.
321
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,475
OK.
322
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,264
I might just go home
and be with Barry.
323
00:20:37,289 --> 00:20:40,864
Good idea. As long
as it's just Barry, right'?
324
00:20:41,028 --> 00:20:43,060
Just Barry.
325
00:20:45,981 --> 00:20:48,528
You better have a damn good reason
for dragging me here, Danny.
326
00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:52,223
Oh, I do, and his name
is Phineas O'Driscoll.
327
00:20:53,358 --> 00:20:56,655
Phineas is here?
Mm. Has been for hours.
328
00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:59,035
Bawling like a baby.
So why call me'?
329
00:20:59,193 --> 00:21:02,295
Well, I'm hardly gonna
call Carol, am I?
330
00:21:02,452 --> 00:21:06,936
I just thought, well,
you might be able to talk him round.
331
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:11,362
Rita?
332
00:21:13,032 --> 00:21:16,344
Thank you, Lyudmila.
We'll take it from here.
333
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:18,389
OK.
334
00:21:18,909 --> 00:21:20,927
Goodbye, crybaby.
335
00:21:25,759 --> 00:21:28,958
Look, I'm only here because- Yeah, drop the
bullshit, Phineas. I've spoken to Carol.
336
00:21:29,136 --> 00:21:31,398
I know what you've been up to.
337
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:34,878
I've so fucked up, haven't I?
338
00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:43,706
I never wanted to hurt Carol. Then get off
your arse and go and do something about it.
339
00:21:43,781 --> 00:21:47,176
Phineas, if you're so bloody sorry,
then go and claim her back.
340
00:21:47,277 --> 00:21:52,038
Because if you don't move quick, she is gonna
find comfort in the most unexpected place.
341
00:21:52,202 --> 00:21:56,982
Hamilton? Wherever she goes,
Phineas, she could go at any point.
342
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,012
So get a fucking move on.
343
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,852
Yeah. (SNIFFLES)
344
00:22:05,445 --> 00:22:07,483
Right-
345
00:22:08,701 --> 00:22:10,711
I'll do it.
346
00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:17,069
Uh, there is the small matter of- Yeah, like fuck
there is, Danny. Yeah, fair point. Fair point.
347
00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:19,164
It's on the house, mate.
348
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:22,065
(SCOFFS) Jesus.
349
00:22:22,098 --> 00:22:25,119
Men are such useless sacks of shit.
Steady on.
350
00:22:25,234 --> 00:22:29,299
No, it's true. Whenever the going
gets tough, you just fall to shit.
351
00:22:29,324 --> 00:22:34,246
You've got no balls, no ability to
just stand up and take what you want.
352
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,939
Well, on behalf of men
everywhere, I beg to differ.
353
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:41,719
(SCOFFS) I'm not sure that you're
the best spokesman for that, Danny.
354
00:22:41,744 --> 00:22:45,974
Well, maybe not. But it's
a good point that you make -
355
00:22:46,035 --> 00:22:51,083
I think we could all afford to
live a bit more boldly, I reckon.
356
00:22:52,982 --> 00:22:54,955
Like the other night.
357
00:22:55,472 --> 00:22:57,506
That was really, um...
358
00:22:58,291 --> 00:23:00,348
something. Am I right'?
359
00:23:01,086 --> 00:23:03,959
Well, everything feels amazing
when there are drugs involved.
360
00:23:04,137 --> 00:23:10,671
(CHUCKLES) Well, are you saying that we
couldn't reach the same heights sober?
361
00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:12,854
I doubt it.
362
00:23:18,887 --> 00:23:21,294
(DOOR CLICKS)
Well, then...
363
00:23:22,311 --> 00:23:24,202
Danny.
364
00:23:24,227 --> 00:23:26,733
I'm living more boldly, Rita.
365
00:23:27,780 --> 00:23:34,115
Now, if there's someone that you need to
get home to, then fine. But if not...
366
00:23:34,140 --> 00:23:37,553
(PAT BENATAR'S
'LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD')
367
00:23:41,177 --> 00:23:44,520
We are young. We are young.
We are young.
368
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:48,025
Heartache to heartache.
Heartache to heartache.
369
00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:49,938
We stand.
We stand.
370
00:23:50,194 --> 00:23:52,414
No promises.
No promises.
371
00:23:53,121 --> 00:23:55,197
No demands.
No demands.
372
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:58,719
Love is a battlefield.
Love is a battlefield.
373
00:23:58,773 --> 00:24:00,706
(GROANS)
374
00:24:03,403 --> 00:24:05,358
We are strong.
375
00:24:07,353 --> 00:24:09,648
No one can tell we're wrong.
376
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,259
Searching our hearts for so long,
377
00:24:17,952 --> 00:24:19,899
both of us knowing...
378
00:24:23,151 --> 00:24:25,185
love is a battlefield.
379
00:24:28,127 --> 00:24:30,007
(SlGHS)
380
00:24:36,045 --> 00:24:38,125
(KEYS JINGLE)
381
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:42,343
Ted. Fuck!
382
00:24:43,869 --> 00:24:48,567
What are you doing here'?
Oh, I just dropped by to say hello.
383
00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:51,962
Must have nodded off.
384
00:24:52,511 --> 00:24:54,609
I thought I kicked you out.
385
00:24:55,566 --> 00:24:57,953
Yeah, you most certainly did.
386
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,595
But, you see, uh...
387
00:25:05,386 --> 00:25:10,966
I went for a drive today, down to VVaihi - that
old jewellery store where I bought our rings.
388
00:25:11,019 --> 00:25:12,908
Ted, you need to leave.
389
00:25:18,721 --> 00:25:20,803
Yeah, OK. Can I just explain why-'?
390
00:25:20,849 --> 00:25:22,781
Now, Ted.
391
00:25:28,787 --> 00:25:30,789
Yeah, all right, then.
392
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,414
It's the rings...
393
00:25:35,741 --> 00:25:37,652
for Wolf.
394
00:25:44,973 --> 00:25:46,991
Night, Rita.
395
00:25:51,499 --> 00:25:53,462
(ROCK MUSIC)
396
00:25:57,770 --> 00:25:59,758
All right. You ready?
397
00:25:59,783 --> 00:26:03,336
I think so.
Do you actually know how to drive'?
398
00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:05,869
Is the Pope a Catholic?
399
00:26:11,742 --> 00:26:16,903
When my dad worked here, he used to tell
me about a shed packed with dynamite.
400
00:26:16,978 --> 00:26:19,539
I'll get through the fence, and then
I'll give you a signal when to come.
401
00:26:19,687 --> 00:26:21,609
What sort of signal?
402
00:26:21,722 --> 00:26:24,505
A bird call.
Wait. What sort of bird'?
403
00:26:29,599 --> 00:26:31,619
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
404
00:26:34,915 --> 00:26:36,829
(QUACKS)
405
00:26:42,924 --> 00:26:44,857
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
406
00:26:50,829 --> 00:26:52,753
(CLANG!)
407
00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:00,739
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
408
00:27:01,821 --> 00:27:03,949
Did you bring a torch?
No.
409
00:27:08,754 --> 00:27:16,207
It's just like Dad said. He'd always come in
here at the end of a stressful day to chill out.
410
00:27:16,233 --> 00:27:20,794
Sparky, I think you should
probably blow that match out.
411
00:27:20,852 --> 00:27:22,792
Sparky?
(BLows)
412
00:27:23,553 --> 00:27:26,725
Can we grab what we
need and go, please?
413
00:27:31,547 --> 00:27:33,448
(THUD!)
414
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,050
There's someone coming!
Oi!
415
00:27:40,107 --> 00:27:42,068
Hey!
416
00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:44,062
(TYRES SCREECH)
417
00:27:44,242 --> 00:27:46,159
(ROCK MUSIC)
418
00:27:47,951 --> 00:27:49,924
Did you talk to her'?
419
00:27:49,949 --> 00:27:51,869
Barely got the chance.
420
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:56,311
At least you made it in the house. Sometimes
a little space puts things in perspective.
421
00:27:56,373 --> 00:28:00,638
It's the golden rule, boys - don't let them suck
you back in. They've already broken your hearts;
422
00:28:00,722 --> 00:28:03,728
don't let them break your balls as well.
That's not really what I meant.
423
00:28:03,916 --> 00:28:10,254
I say stay away from your exes. After Ngaire went
Goodbye, Pork Pie on rne, I moved on, didn't I?
424
00:28:10,344 --> 00:28:12,917
Yeah, you really lead
by example, Lefty (I)
425
00:28:12,971 --> 00:28:17,697
Maybe that's the answer - maybe I should
just cut women out of my life forever.
426
00:28:17,855 --> 00:28:20,386
I'm not sure that's achievable, Phin.
Father Murphy does it.
427
00:28:20,545 --> 00:28:22,470
He must wank like a machine.
428
00:28:22,552 --> 00:28:26,815
All I have to do is avoid the temptations
of the flesh for the rest of my life -
429
00:28:26,947 --> 00:28:30,163
doesn't mean I'll be gay or anything.
Oh. Thanks for clearing that up (!)
430
00:28:30,193 --> 00:28:36,122
I'm ofi to work. Dinner's in the oven.
Do the bloody dishes this time, eh?
431
00:28:36,147 --> 00:28:39,108
GRAHAM BRAZIER:
It's over. It's over...
432
00:28:39,153 --> 00:28:44,023
Hey, Phineas. Don't mind, Phin. He's
just trying not to be tempted by you.
433
00:28:44,053 --> 00:28:46,260
How sweet! Mm? Yeah. See ya.
434
00:28:47,310 --> 00:28:49,374
Hey, Bert.
Theresa.
435
00:28:49,399 --> 00:28:52,728
So, what's this urgent
meeting all about?
436
00:28:52,761 --> 00:28:56,027
Phineas and Carol
are calling it quits.
437
00:28:56,057 --> 00:29:01,020
What the hell happened? Carol found out that
Phineas has been sleeping with hookers.
438
00:29:01,045 --> 00:29:02,935
Shit.
439
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,949
Yeah, really sorry
to hear about that, mate.
440
00:29:08,324 --> 00:29:13,487
Thanks, mate. Means a lot. GRAHAM
BRAZIER: You ain't no friend of mine.
441
00:29:13,614 --> 00:29:15,599
(SNEAKY MUSIC)
442
00:29:19,220 --> 00:29:22,034
Wolf. Hi. What's in the boxes?
443
00:29:22,059 --> 00:29:25,675
Nothing. Dynamite. It'll
only be here for the night.
444
00:29:25,700 --> 00:29:29,765
Like fuck it will.
Get it the fuck out of here, now!
445
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:33,502
You need to get your head
checked, Sparky. Seriously.
446
00:29:33,527 --> 00:29:37,623
There's only one thing for it, Phin.
You're moving in here. Are you sure?
447
00:29:37,669 --> 00:29:40,538
Fine with me. As long as I
don't have to share the couch.
448
00:29:40,686 --> 00:29:45,323
Oh, floor's good for me.
I'm just lucky to have good mates.
449
00:29:48,143 --> 00:29:53,316
You heading off, Bert? Nah. He's not going
anywhere. We haven't had a proper catch-up.
450
00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:56,006
Yeah, you're right. We haven't.
451
00:29:56,992 --> 00:30:00,164
You know what this is, don't you?
What? A flat.
452
00:30:00,189 --> 00:30:02,630
No, that's definitely
not what it is.
453
00:30:02,804 --> 00:30:06,189
It's just a group of people living
under the same roof temporarily.
454
00:30:06,214 --> 00:30:08,640
Oh. Sounds like a flat.
Damn right it's a flat.
455
00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:10,108
What, and that's cause
for celebration?
456
00:30:10,169 --> 00:30:15,355
We've got our independence back, Ted.
I'm gonna bring another crate in.
457
00:30:15,393 --> 00:30:20,575
Hey, you know how I thought Carol
might have found someone else'?
458
00:30:20,801 --> 00:30:22,683
Yeah.
459
00:30:22,708 --> 00:30:26,127
Do you reckon I should
ask her if it's true'?
460
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:35,857
I'm probably the wrong person to ask, mate.
But if I was you, I'd give her some space.
461
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,626
You know,
just until the dust settles.
462
00:30:39,804 --> 00:30:41,728
All of my little lies,
463
00:30:43,224 --> 00:30:45,934
they come shining through my...
464
00:30:46,441 --> 00:30:48,365
I Love you, bro. I
465
00:30:49,365 --> 00:30:51,307
Yeah, you too, mate.
466
00:30:52,838 --> 00:30:57,414
GRAHAM BRAZIER: But I...
l really, really, really...
467
00:30:59,014 --> 00:31:01,957
ls your mum working tomorrow?
I don't know.
468
00:31:02,047 --> 00:31:05,419
What time does she usually wake up?
Early.
469
00:31:06,653 --> 00:31:09,747
Sparky, I know my mum can
be a total bitch sometimes,
470
00:31:09,848 --> 00:31:11,794
but that doesn't mean I wanna
blow her to smithereens.
471
00:31:11,819 --> 00:31:16,158
I know. That's why you're gonna hide the keys under
your mattress. I'll screw with the engine as well,
472
00:31:16,337 --> 00:31:19,757
just in case. Then tomorrow we'll find a way to
get the dynamite out of the boot of the car.
473
00:31:19,858 --> 00:31:24,526
That still sounds pretty dangerous.
Do you have a better idea'?
474
00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:27,560
We could come clean,
tell Mum what we've done.
475
00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:31,634
I don't think that's a safer option.
You're right - she'd kill us.
476
00:31:31,792 --> 00:31:33,718
So plan A - sink the Texas.
477
00:31:39,407 --> 00:31:41,455
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
478
00:31:45,652 --> 00:31:48,353
Morning, Theresa.
Oh, hey, Ted.
479
00:31:49,834 --> 00:31:53,709
Sorry about the bomb site. We got
a bit carried away last night.
480
00:31:53,752 --> 00:31:58,571
Looks like a good time. Yeah.
Lefty crashed out not long ago.
481
00:31:58,727 --> 00:32:03,134
Thanks for the warning. He'll be at
peak snoring and farting about now.
482
00:32:03,276 --> 00:32:06,487
I should probably tell you,
Phin's moving in for a bit too.
483
00:32:06,630 --> 00:32:13,526
Carol found out that he's been sleeping
with, well, you, you know, among others.
484
00:32:13,621 --> 00:32:15,702
I'll give her a wide berth.
485
00:32:17,247 --> 00:32:19,148
Here.
486
00:32:19,498 --> 00:32:21,524
I could use some company.
487
00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:29,520
(SlGHS)
488
00:32:29,601 --> 00:32:32,991
Everything all right'?
Just a lousy night.
489
00:32:33,018 --> 00:32:38,454
Usually, I'm pretty good at shutting my mind
off. But some clients, they get to you.
490
00:32:38,570 --> 00:32:42,419
Yeah, I bet. I don't know
how you do it, to be honest.
491
00:32:42,444 --> 00:32:44,436
What do you mean'?
492
00:32:45,044 --> 00:32:50,936
VVell, going off every night, to, you
know - it would put me off sex for life.
493
00:32:51,209 --> 00:32:56,052
I'm sure you'd survive, Ted. The first
couple of times are a bit weird.
494
00:32:56,215 --> 00:33:01,910
But after that, it's just like any other job
- factory worker, locksmith, safe cracker.
495
00:33:01,935 --> 00:33:05,584
Except you probably make more
money than I do. Probably.
496
00:33:05,678 --> 00:33:07,705
And I still even like sex.
497
00:33:09,226 --> 00:33:12,792
And what about Lefty -
how does he handle it'?
498
00:33:12,951 --> 00:33:15,280
He doesn't mind.
Are you sure'?
499
00:33:15,438 --> 00:33:18,693
How do you think we met
in the first place?
500
00:33:18,852 --> 00:33:21,129
Yeah, I guess I'd never
really thought about that.
501
00:33:21,214 --> 00:33:24,657
The last thing on Lefty's
radar is what I do for a living.
502
00:33:24,682 --> 00:33:27,823
I'm just a temp till he goes
back to his wife, anyway.
503
00:33:27,914 --> 00:33:30,554
And you're OK with that'?
God, yes.
504
00:33:30,712 --> 00:33:32,738
Fucking isn't marriage.
505
00:33:33,242 --> 00:33:36,765
No. I suppose it isn't.
506
00:33:36,975 --> 00:33:43,980
Sometimes it's just two people who discover
they want the same things at the same time.
507
00:33:44,313 --> 00:33:46,365
(POIGNANT GUITAR MUSIC)
508
00:33:46,395 --> 00:33:48,274
And what about you, Ted'?
509
00:33:49,969 --> 00:33:55,190
When you're not sleeping on the
couch, what is it that you want'?
510
00:33:55,215 --> 00:33:57,097
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
511
00:33:57,275 --> 00:33:59,096
(BIRDS CHIRP)
512
00:33:59,447 --> 00:34:01,782
How are we looking?
Not good.
513
00:34:01,866 --> 00:34:06,607
What about the plan? Well, it
was going well to start with.
514
00:34:06,632 --> 00:34:09,525
You haven't seen my
car keys, have you?
515
00:34:09,550 --> 00:34:12,951
I guess I'll just take the
spares, then. See ya, girls.
516
00:34:13,145 --> 00:34:16,795
Shit. Please tell rne she
didn't start the car.
517
00:34:19,428 --> 00:34:22,136
Loose distributor caps.
I didn't know you knew about cars.
518
00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:26,997
Your father's useless, isn't
he, so I had to teach myself.
519
00:34:30,249 --> 00:34:32,208
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)
520
00:34:37,364 --> 00:34:39,278
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
521
00:34:39,303 --> 00:34:43,632
She's going to explode. She's not gonna explode
- we just need to work out where she's gone.
522
00:34:43,663 --> 00:34:46,849
The Galleria, probably.
If she makes it that far.
523
00:34:46,874 --> 00:34:48,817
Hello'?
524
00:34:49,393 --> 00:34:51,326
Rita around'?
Sparky?
525
00:34:51,537 --> 00:34:53,332
I'll call you back.
526
00:34:53,371 --> 00:34:55,398
(PHONE RECEIVER DINGS)
527
00:35:00,251 --> 00:35:02,125
(BLUES GUITAR MUSIC)
528
00:35:05,858 --> 00:35:07,782
(TAP!)
529
00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:10,009
Carol?
530
00:35:15,968 --> 00:35:16,799
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
531
00:35:16,926 --> 00:35:20,446
I'm not doing it.
But you hot-wire cars all the time.
532
00:35:20,477 --> 00:35:23,856
Not when it's Ngaire's, parked in the VVest's
driveway. She'll never know it was you.
533
00:35:24,029 --> 00:35:30,241
I'm sorry, Sparky - this is not behaviour befitting
a best man; these are the actions of a dickhead.
534
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,505
And also, the keys are in it.
535
00:35:36,162 --> 00:35:41,515
And as requested, fake payslips for the fake hours
the Russian girls are putting in at the Galleria.
536
00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:45,485
Cheers for that.
You haven't seen Bert, have you'?
537
00:35:45,664 --> 00:35:50,580
Bert's been a bit busy lately. Why? I want him to
look at my car. It wouldn't start this morning.
538
00:35:50,623 --> 00:35:55,427
Can't you call Lefty? The last time Lefty
tried to fix my car, I had to buy a new car.
539
00:35:55,542 --> 00:35:58,430
I'll take it to a garage.
See ya later.
540
00:35:58,578 --> 00:36:00,525
Bye.
541
00:36:01,372 --> 00:36:03,265
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
542
00:36:06,951 --> 00:36:08,910
What the fuck'?
543
00:36:10,685 --> 00:36:14,626
All I know is that one minute it was out
there and the next minute it was gone.
544
00:36:11,725 --> 00:36:13,621
(ROCK MUSIC)
545
00:36:15,296 --> 00:36:17,909
I can honestly say
I know nothing about this.
546
00:36:17,934 --> 00:36:21,075
Probably car thieves.
What car thieves?
547
00:36:21,254 --> 00:36:25,776
You know, that gang of thieves
that steals all the cars.
548
00:36:26,077 --> 00:36:29,758
Oh, car thieves. Oh, right little
menaces they are. And quick!
549
00:36:29,917 --> 00:36:36,557
And you're sure that these car thieves don't
include our little resident Don Juan?
550
00:36:36,716 --> 00:36:38,610
Fucking Romeo,
the one who isn't here'?
551
00:36:38,736 --> 00:36:40,886
Sparky? He doesn't
even know how to drive.
552
00:36:41,049 --> 00:36:43,737
Then where is the little pervert?
553
00:36:43,775 --> 00:36:45,826
He's out.
At the dairy.
554
00:36:45,851 --> 00:36:49,223
Oh, is that so? I wouldn't worry, Ngaire.
We'll go have a look for these pricks.
555
00:36:49,382 --> 00:36:50,939
I've got a pretty good
idea where they hang out.
556
00:36:51,150 --> 00:36:53,310
And we will get your car back,
even if it's the last thing we do.
557
00:36:53,379 --> 00:36:57,916
No, not getting my car back
will be the last thing you do.
558
00:36:59,455 --> 00:37:02,481
So, where do these losers hang out?
VVh0? The car thieves_
559
00:37:02,658 --> 00:37:05,894
VVeren't you listening? Don't be
dense, Eric. Sparky stole the car_
560
00:37:06,052 --> 00:37:09,328
Shit. Why'd he do that? Because he's got
two crates of dynamite in the boot,
561
00:37:09,414 --> 00:37:13,177
and he's on his way to blow up that
warship in the harbour. Shitballs.
562
00:37:13,202 --> 00:37:16,807
Where do you think he's gone'?
To steal a boat.
563
00:37:17,252 --> 00:37:21,112
That jetty we do bombs off.
There's lots of boats there.
564
00:37:21,290 --> 00:37:24,862
We're gonna need a car, Falani. Not Mrs
Rita's. That's against my code of ethics.
565
00:37:24,908 --> 00:37:29,453
Oh, just fucking do it.
Before Sparky blows himself up.
566
00:37:30,901 --> 00:37:32,859
(TENSE MUSIC)
567
00:37:32,890 --> 00:37:37,276
(SIGHS) Perfect, isn't she'?
I'm gonna call her The Chelsea.
568
00:37:37,301 --> 00:37:41,364
What are these rings for?
They're our escape pods_ Our'?
569
00:37:41,574 --> 00:37:44,804
Yeah, one each. Sparky, I'm
not sure that's a good idea.
570
00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:48,541
Oh, no, no, don't worry. All we gotta do
is jump over the side just before impact,
571
00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:52,322
and then we can just float
our way to shore. No.
572
00:37:52,347 --> 00:37:55,007
What do you mean, no'?
No. Just no.
573
00:37:55,032 --> 00:38:01,278
This is a really, really dumb idea. It's stupid.
It's so stupid. And you need to stop right now.
574
00:38:01,306 --> 00:38:04,639
But I thought we agreed that the
military-industrial complex was a global evil
575
00:38:04,664 --> 00:38:09,598
that needed to be violently opposed. Doesn't mean I
want to blow up the US Navy. That's totally insane.
576
00:38:09,777 --> 00:38:14,456
And the truth is I get really seasick. And
the weather looks like it's packing in.
577
00:38:14,517 --> 00:38:16,363
And I have my period.
So'?
578
00:38:16,537 --> 00:38:19,417
Joan of Arc didn't say, 'Don't burn
me at the stake; I've got my period,'
579
00:38:19,471 --> 00:38:22,850
she died for what she believed in.
Sparky!
580
00:38:23,248 --> 00:38:27,076
Sparky! Please get on The
Chelsea, Chelsea. No.
581
00:38:27,707 --> 00:38:30,016
No way.
Sparky.
582
00:38:30,189 --> 00:38:32,797
Get out of the boat. You stay out of this.
This is between rne and my girlfriend.
583
00:38:32,827 --> 00:38:35,794
I'm not your girlfriend.
You're acting like a crazy person.
584
00:38:35,953 --> 00:38:41,310
And I don't want to be with a crazy
person, so I'm breaking up with you.
585
00:38:41,467 --> 00:38:47,736
Come on, Sparky. Get out of the boat.
We'll burn an American flag or something.
586
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:49,747
(CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC)
587
00:38:54,505 --> 00:38:57,014
Fuck it.
Sparky, don't be a moron!
588
00:38:57,314 --> 00:39:00,180
Oh, Sparky! Sparky! Sparky!
Come back, man!
589
00:39:00,374 --> 00:39:02,261
Oi! What are you doing'?
Fuck!
590
00:39:02,286 --> 00:39:04,241
Sparky!
591
00:39:06,097 --> 00:39:09,281
Come back, man! Come back!
ALL: Sparky!
592
00:39:09,444 --> 00:39:14,912
(HERBS' 'FRENCH LETTER') No nuclear
energy, no nuclear, nuclear_
593
00:39:15,168 --> 00:39:17,123
BOTH: Sparky!
594
00:39:17,812 --> 00:39:19,916
Free, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
595
00:39:25,618 --> 00:39:27,643
it No nukes. it
596
00:39:33,128 --> 00:39:35,072
Um...
597
00:39:35,949 --> 00:39:39,247
Sparky, get out of
there! Sparky, jump!
598
00:39:40,025 --> 00:39:41,885
Argh!
599
00:39:42,375 --> 00:39:45,541
Help!
Does he even know how to swim'?
600
00:39:45,566 --> 00:39:49,992
I don't think so. Whoeverjumps in and
saves Sparky will be my best man.
601
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:53,565
Wolf, I would love to assist you with this ocean
rescue, but I would just add to the death toll.
602
00:39:53,590 --> 00:39:56,663
No, shit no!
What if the boat explodes?
603
00:39:57,170 --> 00:39:59,122
Useless - both of you.
604
00:40:05,061 --> 00:40:07,150
(ROCK MUSIC)
605
00:40:10,541 --> 00:40:12,638
Did you find my car?
Yep.
606
00:40:13,419 --> 00:40:17,217
So, how come it involved
two of you getting wet'?
607
00:40:17,662 --> 00:40:21,601
Long story. And we learnt a lot
about friendship along the way.
608
00:40:21,764 --> 00:40:27,103
Well, that's lovely news all round. And did any of
whatever the hell is going on here involve my daughter?
609
00:40:27,186 --> 00:40:32,323
No. You don't need to worry. That
situation has sorted itself out.
610
00:40:32,361 --> 00:40:34,349
You must be freezing.
611
00:40:34,374 --> 00:40:36,366
It's not that bad.
612
00:40:38,391 --> 00:40:44,091
I'm sorry before about being pushy about
the boat and the dynamite and stufl'.
613
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:46,735
You had a vision. I respect that.
614
00:40:48,576 --> 00:40:50,777
You're a trailblazer, Sparky,
615
00:40:50,938 --> 00:40:53,029
with so much to offer the world.
616
00:40:53,054 --> 00:40:57,919
But if we were together, I'd only
be slowing you down. I understand.
617
00:40:57,980 --> 00:40:59,888
(BOOM!)
618
00:41:00,653 --> 00:41:02,606
(RUMBLING)
619
00:41:02,765 --> 00:41:04,683
(SEAGULLS SQUAWK)
620
00:41:05,915 --> 00:41:11,093
These are from your father. By the look of
them, he spent way too much, but there you go.
621
00:41:11,138 --> 00:41:14,748
You can cross that off
Cheryl's bloody list.
622
00:41:15,261 --> 00:41:17,349
That leaves one job left.
623
00:41:18,382 --> 00:41:23,103
Mate, I was gonnajump in and save
you, but Wolf beat me to it.
624
00:41:26,218 --> 00:41:29,733
Falani.
Seriously?
625
00:41:29,795 --> 00:41:36,310
If you still want the job. More than anything.
I will put my heart and soul into it.
626
00:41:37,265 --> 00:41:40,291
This is because of my cowardice
at the jetty, isn't it'?
627
00:41:40,501 --> 00:41:44,639
No, Eric. It's because Falani seems
to really believe in marriage.
628
00:41:44,664 --> 00:41:49,547
Fair enough. I mean, it still hurts a
little. But I'm man enough to handle it.
629
00:41:49,706 --> 00:41:52,486
Maybe Eric could be second best man.
630
00:41:52,618 --> 00:41:55,305
Is that a real thing?
It could be.
631
00:41:55,896 --> 00:42:00,915
Sure. Why not? All right, then!
Second best man. (CHUCKLES)
632
00:42:00,940 --> 00:42:02,944
So can I be third best man'?
633
00:42:02,971 --> 00:42:05,919
If that works for you, Sparky, sure.
634
00:42:09,609 --> 00:42:11,633
Ben.
Hey.
635
00:42:11,658 --> 00:42:14,927
I was just gonna take Barry for
a walk. I won't keep you long.
636
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,478
I just wanted to say I heard
about Phineas and the hookers,
637
00:42:18,621 --> 00:42:22,103
and I hate to see you
getting treated like that.
638
00:42:22,203 --> 00:42:24,108
Thanks, Bert.
639
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:32,030
And I was wondering - if you guys aren't together,
then maybe we can hang out a bit more 0ften...
640
00:42:33,268 --> 00:42:35,992
maybe even keep trying for a baby.
641
00:42:39,475 --> 00:42:42,312
Anyway, I know you probably
need some alone time.
642
00:42:42,346 --> 00:42:44,667
No, why don't you come in...
643
00:42:44,924 --> 00:42:47,314
and we can talk... and stuff.
644
00:42:52,941 --> 00:42:55,115
(POIGNANT GUITAR MUSIC)
645
00:42:57,276 --> 00:43:02,252
How was racist grandma? Very pleased to hear
that I'm settling down with a nice boy.
646
00:43:02,277 --> 00:43:04,840
I think you mean white boy.
Yep.
647
00:43:05,267 --> 00:43:08,950
Well, I can't wait till she
finds out my best man is Samoan.
648
00:43:09,033 --> 00:43:12,189
You hear that, Mandy'?
Falanfs gonna be the best man.
649
00:43:12,346 --> 00:43:15,128
I'm not rooting him!
Mandy Miller!
650
00:43:15,165 --> 00:43:17,812
You are not rooting anybody. In!
651
00:43:18,636 --> 00:43:23,002
And you sorted the rings out'?
All taken care of, love.
652
00:43:23,905 --> 00:43:26,461
Jesus. Take it inside, you two.
653
00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:30,817
Why couldn't he have chosen
someone like Phillip Schofield'?
654
00:43:30,885 --> 00:43:33,086
I'm more of a Peter Sinclair
girl, myself.
655
00:43:33,265 --> 00:43:35,164
Ew, gross, Mum.
(CHUCKLES)
656
00:43:35,189 --> 00:43:38,362
No turning back.
Not a chance, Mister.
657
00:43:43,197 --> 00:43:45,171
(POIGNANT GUITAR MUSIC)
658
00:43:51,188 --> 00:43:53,059
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
659
00:43:58,596 --> 00:44:00,473
(GRUNTS) Bugger.
660
00:44:00,621 --> 00:44:02,536
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
661
00:44:04,284 --> 00:44:04,753
(ROCK MUSIC)
662
00:44:04,797 --> 00:44:06,798
Fuck! Fuck!
663
00:44:06,828 --> 00:44:08,874
What?
664
00:44:09,236 --> 00:44:13,218
Homicide. Someone we both
know is dead, Ngaire.
665
00:44:13,907 --> 00:44:15,866
Who's this?
666
00:44:16,458 --> 00:44:17,870
Separate rooms, thanks.
667
00:44:18,027 --> 00:44:20,679
The boys are at the station.
It's fucking murder.
668
00:44:20,858 --> 00:44:22,664
Hey!
(ALL CLAMOUR)
669
00:44:22,968 --> 00:44:25,405
This is just fucking sad, man.
670
00:44:29,387 --> 00:44:31,155
Gonna deny it, Mr West?
671
00:44:31,205 --> 00:44:35,755
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