Original subtitles

Daniel: It has been said,

that democracy is the art of running the circus

from inside the monkey cage.

Newscaster: In election news,

opposition leader George Quimby was in Regina yesterday

where his campaign bus went missing for several hours.

Yet another embarrassing setback for Quimby

in a campaign which has suffered

more than its fair share of snafu's.

Red twenty-two, red twenty-two, hut hut.

Ow!

(Reporters laugh, camera shutters click)

It's a good day for this, huh?

(Laughs)

Daniel: No, not the hair net.

Newscaster: Yesterday's missing bus driver has people wondering...

Here it comes.

Whether Quimby's whole campaign might be termed,

missing in action.

(Sighs) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the monkey cage.

As captain of this band of merry sailors,

I'm a black mark, I'm a failure,

but before you watch me drown,

I'm relinquishing command

for something I don't understand

this man's about to turn his whole life upside down.

I'll settle here on a new shore, (New shore)

My lips were blue and my legs were sore.

I forget if I was pushed or I jumped overboard.

And after all this time,

what's the difference.

sync and corrections by bellows www.addic7ed.com

I am Daniel Addison,

former head speech writer

for the man in the hair net, George Quimby.

(Starts engine)

Three weeks ago, I let myself be browbeaten

into running a campaign on behalf

of a can't win candidate named Angus McLintock,

also my landlord,

against our superstar finance minister, Eric Cameron.

Our campaign headquarters is located in the dining room

of the riverside seniors residence,

manned by a team of elderly pensioners,

including the formidable Muriel Parkinson.

Seniors: Hello. Hi. Daniel: Hi.

And two wide-eyed fanatics

from the u of o's engineering department.

- What's this? - Priority polls.

- Priority? - We heard a rumour,

there might be a McLintock voter in an apartment complex

somewhere in poll 31.

Pete 1: Now if there's one, there could be two.

Maybe a whole tribe.

We're gonna knock on every door until we find him.

That's the spirit, guys!

We'll go beyond the impossible.

Kick reason to the curb!

That's how team Gurren rolls.

Sorry, team what now?

You know, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.

Video game?

No, it's a 2007 Anime series set in the future

where humanity is forced underground

by the evil spiral king lord genome.

Daniel, got an idea.

My great-grandson told me about it,

it's called a viral video. You know what it is?

Uh, yeah.

If you upload it to the world wide web,

people like it.

Then before you know it,

- you got fifty million followers. - Ha!

Jerry, I don't think it's so easy to get-

Pete 1: Well, that's not a bad idea.

Daniel: What? Pete 1: The video.

Nope, nope, it's a terrible idea.

Pete 2: Why?

Because it's expensive.

- Not necessarily. - We could crowd source.

It's a waste of resources.

- We could get the student- - Not gonna happen, guys.

- But sir, - No, no, guys,

we need to focus our efforts on the door-to-door campaign.

That is what's gonna win us our votes.

So, poll 31, crushing the spiral king, okay?

Sorry, Jerry, I don't mean to be a downer.

Jerry: Then, what about a-

excuse me, Jerry.

Twitter campaign.

Oh Ernie, you dirt bag, of course we're up and running.

We're coming to get you this time

so watch your back, because Cameron is going down.

(Laughter)

- Hi. - Hi, Daniel.

Have you seen the numbers?

I know, disappointing.

Try catastrophic.

How is Angus holding up?

Angus? He's okay.

Yeah?

He, he knew the odds were stacked against him,

you know he just wants to run a clean campaign.

Well, you know, I'd like to meet the man.

Who? Angus?

Well, as the only person to run five times

against Eric Cameron,

I think it's only right.

Yes. The thing is, Muriel, he is quite shy,

almost pathologically so.

Daniel, I just wanna shake his hand,

tell him I appreciate what he's doing for the party.

I'll see what I can do. (Nervous chuckle)

Daniel, are you single?

- Uh... - I'm just curious.

Oh yes. I mean, no, no,

I-I sort of declared a kind of a moratorium on relationships.

A moratorium? Like, with COD?

Yes, except uh- Lindsay: Hey, gran.

Daniel: Not so permanent. See- Muriel: Oh, hello dear.

Hi, Lindsay, hi.

- Hey, Daniel. - Hi.

We were just talking about you, weren't we, Daniel?

We were?

Yes, we were wondering if you could come

to the Cameron fundraiser tomorrow night?

Yes, yes, please,

we need as many warm bodies as possible.

Hmm, infiltrating the Cameron camp sounds scary.

Oh, yeah, have you ever been in a room full of zombies?

Zombies?

Yeah, yeah, a Cameron rally,

it's like the night of the living dead.

- Well, now I'm psyched. - Okay, but bring garlic.

Uh, dude, garlic is for vampires.

With zombies you have to destroy their brains

with like a crowbar, or a flamethrower.

Or a chainsaw.

Or an Egyptian obelisk.

Thank you, for that.

I shall bring the obelisk.

I'll definitely bring mine too, just to, you know.

Great.

(Switch clicks off)

(Crickets chirp)

(Bagpipes playing)

(Exhales)

Woo hoo hoo, woo ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, laddie, what timing!

I've just had a breakthrough.

I was thinking about something Marin used to say,

and boom, there it was,

the final piece of the puzzle

for my water filtration project!

Ha ha!

What's the matter, can't sleep?

Well, to tell you the truth-

what about a wee dram and a game, eh?

Ha ha ha!

Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,

through the streets in my kilt I go.

Uh oh, hmm, check.

Damn.

So Lassie say hello, Donald where's your trousers?

Ha ha ha!

Well now, how goes the battle?

Which one?

My futile attempt to educate engineering students

on the basics of English grammar,

or your ill-fated campaign?

Start with the educating.

Like teaching bison to play tennis.

(Laughs)

They don't like it, they don't see the point of it,

and they're not very good at it.

Ha. And the campaign?

Well, all in all I'd say your chances of winning

have improved from don't make me laugh,

to you must be kidding.

Splendid!

Listen, Cameron's victory is well and truly in the bag.

I'm very glad to hear it.

Though I have to say, I don't much care for the man.

He's all surface charm, but underneath it all,

I can't help feeling he's a self-absorbed,

double speaking blaggard.

I concur,

the man is a genius at speaking out of both sides of his mouth.

Well, we get the politicians we deserve.

Yes, we do.

Of course it's easy for me to criticize

sitting here on the sidelines.

Some might even argue

that this phoney campaign of mine

is part of the problem, an offence to democracy.

It's no wonder voters are so cynical.

There. (Farts)

Ha! Apologies.

Too much turnip in the diet.

Oh.

Move, damn it!

Okay. (Humming)

Oh-oh. Check and mate.

Idiot! Why did I not see that?

Because, you over think.

Trust your instincts, lad.

Vive ut vivas, my friend.

You should come for a swim with me, you know.

No thank you.

(Humming) Donald, where's your trousers?

(Farts, humming)

Doesn't look too scary.

Oh, yeah, just you wait. Brains, brains!

Pete 1: They totally misspelled supporters.

Well, I guess when your approval rating is 96 percent,

you don't have to worry about a little thing like spelling.

Well, look what the rats dragged in.

Hello, Petra.

What are you doing here?

We bought tickets, just like anyone else.

Well, you wouldn't be spying on us, would you?

Know thy enemy. Come on.

Watch and learn, Danny boy,

watch and learn.

Both: Ow!

Okay.

Pete 1: Scary.

("You ain't seen nothing yet" by Bachman-Turner overdrive plays)

Geez, what is this the fifties?

Well, as far as Cameron is concerned,

it is the fifties.

(Cheering) C-a-m-e-r-o-n.

Go Cameron!

(Cheering and applause)

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,

the Cumberland chamber of commerce is pleased to welcome

the candidate for Cumberland-Prescott,

the current minister of finance

and just possibly our future prime minister,

the honourable Eric Cameron.

(Band playing) (Cheering and applause)

(Chanting) Cameron! Cameron! Cameron! Cameron!

Thank you.

My fellow Canadians,

Canada, this is and has always been our country,

and the greatest country in the world.

(Cheering and applause)

A country built with old-fashioned values,

like decency, and integrity,

and above all, family.

(Cheering and applause)

My friends, stand with me

to ensure that these values remain at the core

of our democracy because, my friends,

Canada, we must stand on guard for thee!

(Band playing, cheering and applause)

Thank you.

(Cheering and applause)

(Canting) Cameron! Cameron! Cameron! Cameron!

Hey, thanks for being part of team Cameron.

Ha ha! Stand on guard for thee, huh?

- Yeah. - Thank you.

(Chanting) Cameron! Cameron! Cameron! Cameron!

- Hello, Addison. - Fontana.

How come you don't return my calls?

Was that you? I thought that was a telemarketer.

Ha! I was hoping to get something on record

about your um, so called candidate.

So called?

No campaign ads, no websites, no press,

not even a single lawn sign.

Well, Angus is a staunch environmentalist.

You know that those Cameron lawn signs

can't even be recycled? That's a disgrace.

You're hiding something, Addison.

I can feel it. What, hmm?

Not hiding anything, Norman, okay?

Our campaign isn't like other campaigns

because Angus McLintock is not like other politicians.

He's something we haven't seen in a long time in this country.

Yeah, what's that?

His own man. Just-

(door squeaks open)

(Computer keys clack)

(Humming)

What the hell?

Yeah, hi, this is Norm Fontana, Ottawa Tribune,

am I speaking with the editor of the Fanfare?

Yeah, I was just wondering

why the Angus McLintock interview was spiked?

Oh, really.

Is that so?

Uh-huh.

Daniel: This is beautiful,

it's great to be back on the path.

You know, actually, before I started working on the hill,

I used to be pretty active physically.

So when you mentioned you were a runner

I thought it would be a good time to brush off

the old sneakers.

It just makes my blood boil, that's all.

Sorry, what?

Cameron,

that he can just walk away with this election

without ever having to defend himself?

Did you know that he's not even showing up

to the town hall tomorrow?

Yeah, I uh, heard that.

Muriel was at every debate, every community rally,

every barbecue.

She believed in holding our representatives accountable.

Well Muriel, Muriel's a hell of a gal.

She would have made a great parliamentarian.

Hold up, hold up, hill cramp.

(Chuckles)

Just stretch it out.

Hey, is it true that you have some kind of

moratorium on personal relationships?

Um... she's also a terrible gossip.

Yeah, I don't know if I'd call it a moratorium, exactly,

it's more like a brief pause for reflection.

I walked in on my last girlfriend and her boss

um... you know...

That's awful, I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah,

so I figured I should just,

you know, I should take some time to sort things out.

Hence the um, moratorium thingy.

Sure. Yeah.

- So uh... - Okay. - Okay.

I just like hanging out with you, that's all.

Me too.

Another loop?

Uh, you know what, I should probably get back to work.

Right, okay. Well...

We could catch a movie sometime, soon.

- When? - Thursday?

I'll text you.

(Hushed crowd roaring sounds)

Michael: Using data mining techniques

and r-squared predicting points,

we have developed an enhanced constituent

information management system

with the ability to micro target

previously inaccessible cross tabs.

Stanton: Addison! Good of you to join us,

what with your busy schedule and all.

No problem, Bradley.

You know the zed-man.

Michael.

Stanton: Michael was just running down the latest poll numbers.

Where are we getting the most traction?

Among four key demographic segments -

raging Asians, dollars for donuts,

weekend warriors, and dibblers and dabblers.

(Intrigued murmurs)

Yes?

Sorry, dibblers and dabblers?

Michael: A mix of older blue-collared married women,

middle class suburban gays,

and nine percent Caribbean,

that share a preference for bingo, bulk buying,

and burritos.

(Agreement murmurs)

And why are we targeting them?

Michael: They are part of the five percent

who can actually sway the selection.

Yeah, without their support, we're going to return

to exactly the same numbers as before the election.

So what you're saying

is that none of our policies

are having any effect whatsoever.

That's correct.

Okay, has anybody considered the possibility

that what voters really want

is a candidate who says what he means,

and means what he says?

I don't have the data on that,

I'd have to run a few numbers.

Zed-man, could you give us a rundown

of the ridings in eastern Ontario

starting with um, Cumberland-Prescott?

Michael: Of the decided voters,

which constitutes 90 percent,

92 percent are solidly for Cameron,

across the voting spectrum.

As for our candidate, Angus McLintock,

most of his support is rooted in the over 75 demographic,

or golden oldsters.

If the numbers hold firm,

we should finish just South of somewhere

around a 140 votes.

(Laughter)

Did you say 140?

Plus or minus one percent, 19 times out of 20.

(Laughter)

Stanton: Hey, Addison, don't let it get you down.

You know what they say,

it ain't over 'til you're six feet under.

(Laughter)

Stanton: Ha ha ha ha!

Thank you,

to those of you who actually took the time to find a book,

read the book, and report on the book.

Though, for the record,

"hockey stories and stuff"

is not, strictly speaking, a work of fiction.

I know that many of you

still think that learning English

in first year engineering is a waste of time.

Well, I hope by the end of this year

to persuade you otherwise.

And to do that, allow me to introduce you

to these three friends of mine, pathos, ethos, and logos,

meaning emotion, ethics, and reason.

Aristotle called this triangle

the foundation of persuasive argument,

otherwise known as rhetoric.

It can be found in everything from advertising,

sham wow, anyone? No?

Okay. Religion, faith, family, freedom,

sorry, that wasn't to you.

And yes, even in politics,

"ask not what your country can do for you."

Okay? No?

Your task this week is to create

a short piece of persuasive argument on a subject that you choose.

Yes, Mary Anne?

- Can it be on anything? - Yes, your choice.

Professor, does it have to be like, written?

Yes!

(Class groans)

Okay, okay, I'll make an exception.

It can be a speech, or it can be a poster,

an ad, a video,

as long as it uses these three concepts, okay?

So think big, aim high, raise a little hell.

Any more questions?

No, okay.

As always, I am available to answer your questions

by phone, or by email, or in my office

between the hours of two and four P.M.

Plus or minus one minute, 19 times out of 20.

(Clock ticking)

(Students chatter)

(Clock ticking)

(Knocking)

Yes, yes, please come in.

I tried messaging you. Did you unfriend me?

Hello, Rachel.

(Shuts door)

- So, this is your little office. - Not so little.

And, what do you do here all day long?

I teach. I read, catch up on my research.

I'm writing a paper.

And are you happy?

Never been so happy.

(Passionate kissing)

(Papers rustling)

Rachel: What is wrong with you?

What?

You're a political animal, Daniel,

this is a waste of your talent.

Why are you here, Rachel?

Hmm. Quimby's campaign is off the rails,

and for the exactly the reasons you mentioned -

voters are sick of being manipulated,

they want to see passion, integrity, character.

So?

We're rebranding.

- Halfway through the campaign? - It's our only hope.

We're going to do it over the weekend,

relaunch on Monday with a new Quimby, an authentic Quimby,

a Quimby who stands for something.

Such as?

Climate change?

I thought we didn't use the c word.

That was before.

Two-thirds of voters want the government

to do something about carbon emissions,

and yet no politician will talk about it. Why?

Because they're afraid!

They think it's a choice

between the environment and the economy,

but that's a false dichotomy.

You know, it's not an issue of left versus right

or progressives versus conservatives,

climate change affects all of us.

You know, instead of dividing us,

it should bring us together.

See! This is why we need you, to make people understand,

to make them care before it's too late.

Uh, no!

No. Sorry, I'm needed here.

Here? In your little ivory tower?

Can't beat the view.

Daniel, what happened to you?

You've become so... old.

Next thing you know,

you'll be wearing a cardigan and smoking a pipe.

Okay, well, thank you so much for stopping by, Rachel.

(Door opening and closing)

I'm not old. Am I?

Yes, I'm... I'm very fond of this old house.

Oh yes, it's so warm and welcoming.

And this is a particularly special place for me, here.

This is where Marin wrote.

She loved the view toward the river.

Oh my.

You know, I just want to thank you for doing this.

- This? - The running for election.

Despite your personal circumstances,

and the appalling odds.

Yes well um, someone's got to do it.

Oh, don't be so modest.

It takes real gumption to do what you are doing.

Well, what did Marin say?

If you're not at the table, you're on the menu.

Uh, can I offer you some tea, or something stronger?

Oh, a gin and tonic, with a twist, if you have it?

Of course.

(Phone chimes)

It's Lindsay.

Thursday's a go. Yay!

Okay, so I'm officially reconsidering my moratorium.

It's been six weeks, after all.

Yes, Rachel broke my heart, badly,

and yes, I should be taking time to reflect on the past, to heal.

But Lindsay, Lindsay is so different from Rachel.

You know, it's like apples and oranges,

it's like chalk and cheese, it's like Eric Cameron and Angus.

Angus, Jesus, what the hell are they talking about

for so long in there?

What if Angus accidentally spills the beans about our deal?

Or what if Muriel confronts him about why he agreed to run?

(Door opening)

Angus: It was a pleasure.

(Muriel laughing)

Angus: Now are you sure you won't stay for a bite to eat?

Oh, no thank you, that's very kind,

but I think I'd better get back to the residence

before the dinner stampede.

(Laughter)

You ready?

I like her, she's the real deal.

I like him, he's the real deal.

Daniel: He certainly is.

He thinks for himself,

which is a rare thing for a politician.

- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.

(Phone ringing)

Addison.

Look, I already told you, I-

Fine. Where?

(Whispering) Addison, over here.

- Fontana, what the hell? - Shhh! Cameras.

Cameras.

Were you followed?

Followed?

Anybody follow you?

Yeah, but I lost 'em in the tie department at Holt's.

Fontana, why are we meeting in here?

It's where I meet all my sources.

Nice and quiet and uh, out of the way.

(Wheels squeak)

Can we make this quick, please?

According to my uh, my notes,

you said your candidate wasn't giving any interviews.

That's right.

And yet, he spoke to a reporter from the fanfare.

Angus was approached by a kid in the campus pub.

He thought it was for uh, the term paper.

That why you killed the story? Hmm?

(Keyboard playing a lively tune)

I didn't kill the story, okay?

There were factual inaccuracies, the editor agreed to pull it down.

See, I got witnesses who say

they saw you and one of your campaign workers

grabbing papers from boxes all around campus

right after the paper came out,

and uh, you were throwing them in the trash.

I figured maybe the candidate was too candid,

maybe he wandered off the reservation, so to speak.

I figure Bradley Stanton put the screws in,

made you take it down.

(Keyboard playing)

As I said, there were inaccuracies.

Hello?!

(Keyboard playing loudly)

Hey! Yeah, you! Would you mind uh...

Two minutes. Okay?

(Keyboard playing stops)

It'll cost you.

Yeah, no problem.

Listen, Addison,

I don't give a rat's ass about this McLintock lad, okay?

So he's a kook, so what?

What I do want is the inside dope

on the Quimby campaign, hmm?

I have nothing to do with the Quimby campaign.

Oh yeah? Yeah.

Then what was Rachel Bronwin doing in your office?

Are you, are you spying on me?

I just happened to be on campus when I saw her get out of her car,

so I followed her.

Look, Fontana,

you're barking up the wrong tree here, okay?

All I know about the national campaign

is what I see on TV, so.

As if. I know your type Addison, you're a lifer.

So, you'll get me the inside dope on the campaign

or an interview with McLintock. Deal?

No, no, no deal.

You've got nothin', Fontana.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah.

You think your little midnight run

won't make the front page, huh?

Former Quimby communications chief

threatens student newspaper, huh? Huh?

(Keyboard playing resumes)

(Change dropping)

Don't you have to have a licence or something?

Newscaster: Unusually high winds in the Beaufort sea

are hampering cleanup efforts

of yesterday's massive Arctic ocean spill.

Angus: I don't understand the problem.

Daniel: The problem is I can't figure out

how to turn this vacuum on.

It doesn't make any sense.

Angus: Nonsense,

it's a simple two-tier radial cyclone system.

A child could figure it out.

Yeah, a child with a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering.

Newscaster: Could wreak massive damage to local wildlife.

You know, uh, by the way, I had a request for an interview.

Angus: A what?

Yeah, an interview, you know, with a reporter

from the Ottawa Tribune.

Is that a joke?

No it's, it's just a puff piece, really.

Won't affect your chances.

- Oh sure, sure, I'll do it. - You will?

No problem, and I'll tell everyone about our deal.

Point taken.

Angus: You daft bugger,

ya don't know what the hell you're talking about.

I'm sorry, what?

That buffoon, Eric Cameron, is on TV.

Eric: That is simply not true.

This government is very concerned, very concerned,

with environmental issues in the Arctic.

In fact, we are pleased to announce

that we will be planting ten thousand new trees

in the resolute bay area.

You can't grow trees in resolute bay!

It's above the tree line.

Angus: Exactly!

Eric: It will also have the added benefit of protecting

the polar bear population in that area.

Ah, I cannot take anymore.

I'm going for a swim. (Hangs up phone)

Eric: Uh, now...

Yeah. (Beeps phone off)

Eric: With regards to climate change,

and what part that may have played in this disaster,

until scientists come to a clear consensus

on the root causes of global warming,

this government is determined to remain vigilant,

for all environmental issues in the Arctic,

and of course in the rest of Canada.

(Laughs) Oh, my God.

(Vacuum whirs)

Really? No clear consensus?

Are you kidding me?

That's it.

(Phone ringing)

Hey, 98 percent of scientists around the world agree,

climate change is real and it's caused by human activity.

So what else do we need consensus on,

universal gravitation? The speed of light?

- Rachel: So you'll do it. - You bet your ass I'll do it.

Oh Daniel, that is such great news.

Okay, watch it!

Daniel: Where are you?

- The zoo bus. Daniel: - Where?

Rachel: Quimby's campaign bus.

We've been on the road for 12 hours straight.

Press aren't handling it well.

Okay! That's enough.

Next person who throws something, goes home!

I'll call you as soon as I can, Daniel,

it's so nice to hear you sounding like your old self again.

(Loud fighting)

(Vacuum whirring)

Pete 1: Is everything okay?

I have to go and do some work for the Quimby campaign.

I'm leaving you guys in charge, just for a few days, okay?

You remember the rules, right?

No interviews, no lawn signs, no advertising.

- Word. - No doubt.

Don't worry about a thing, boss.

So we frame it as a business problem, okay?

Adapt or die.

Like the whaling industry, at one point it was massive

and then something better came along, and bam! It disappeared.

Same with oil, one day we are going to look back,

we are going to shake our heads

that people actually used to drill this way for carbon-based fuel.

Any more wings?

No? Never mind.

Okay, next point.

Okay guys, are we all standing by?!

(Cheering)

Let's make this triumphant!

(Cheering)

Cue playback!

Three! Two! One!

(Rock song plays)

Raise a little hell

I like the bit about creativity,

can we do more with that,

maybe call it good old Canadian ingenuity?

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Raise a little hell, raise a little hell,

raise a little hell. - Where are you?

Uh, wawa.

Daniel: Other countries are way ahead of us on this, okay?

China. Three percent of their gdp is spent on green tax.

South Korea, actually can you check the stats for that.

Man: Yeah, sure.

We can use that in the budget section.

Rachel: Cut progressive practices.

Daniel: What's wrong with progressive practices?

It's too lefty, modern is better.

And money making instead of prosperity.

Oh, seriously?

It's about getting the message out to the broadest number of people.

You're right okay, yeah, got it.

So uh, where are you now?

Where are now?

Saskatoon! Saskatoon.

Hmm.

Okay, paragraph two,

clean energy revolution and job creation.

It's a mouthful, can it be simplified?

Yeah, no problem.

Guys! Guys! That's a wrap!

Thank you so much!

Totally excellent effort.

Rock on, rock on!

(Cheering, applause)

You guys are awesome!

I love you all! I love your vision!

(Cheering)

Rachel, Rachel, listen to me,

people aren't stupid, okay? Thank you.

They know that this kind of thing doesn't happen overnight.

They know that there's no silver bullet

for this kind of thing.

Rachel: All right, geez, don't take my head off.

Put the paragraph back.

Thank you.

You know, you're one tough hombre when you want to be.

Hmm, back at you partner.

(Loud exhale)

You smoking?

Yeah, first time in three years.

Call me first thing in the morning.

God, I've missed this.

(Beeps phone off)

Pete 1: Looking good man, it's looking good.

All right, how about this, vote Angus vote change,

and then a number for people to call and donate?

Okay. All we have to do is press upload and...

Crush the spiral king!

Infinity! Big bang!

(Explosion sound)

Daniel: Cheers!

All: Cheers! (Glasses clink)

Thank you guys, so much

for your incredible hard work.

Let's just hope it doesn't all get buried

under some Quimby-esque photo op disaster, huh?

(Phone rings)

So? Did you get it?

Rachel: Yeah, I had to wait until we got to a gas station

to use their wi-fi.

Just reading it now. Daniel, it's fantastic.

That's good, because we were up all night working on it.

Rachel: I'll see you when I get home.

We should uh, celebrate.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Excellent video, man.

Agh. Thanks. Wait, what?

The one for your candidate, McLintock?

(Video playing)

(Laughter)

If your world is all screwed up

rearrange it,

raise a little hell, raise a little hell,

raise a little hell.

If you don't like what you see

why don't you fight it,

if you know there's something wrong

why don't you right it,

raise a little hell, raise a little hell,

raise a little hell.

When did you post this?

Last night.

Yo, it's already reached like 2500 hits.

Wow, 2500.

It's sick, huh?

Yeah.

Why don't you right it,

raise a little hell, raise a little hell,

raise a little hell.

Raise a little hell, raise a little hell

Accounts? No.

Campaign finances, third-party advertising, ah!

Here's something.

Were any of the organizers foreign nationals?

No.

Oh, then I can't see any legal impediment

to an online video encouraging young people to vote.

Good luck!

Yeah, thanks.

I'm surprised you got the rights.

Sorry, sorry what?

Rights, to the song.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Ha ha!

Okay.

Oh, I love the lavender.

But I'm worried that it reads too metro, eh?

Huh? Metro.

What? Oh.

Oh, looks like a tablecloth.

And just, oh yes, this is very authentic,

though I wish the stitching would be a teeny bit bolder.

Oh man, can we speed this up?

- Stanton! - Yeah?

Where's that speech?

Just printing it off now, George.

The bus is here.

Oh thank God, finally something is going right.

But we haven't tried on the jeans!

Oh! Oh!

(Printer whirs)

George: And on that space station, the Canadarm,

the kind of Canadian ingenuity

for which we're known around the world,

the kind now shown by innovative companies

like Alberta Biogas,

that use chicken and cow manure

to generate electricity for thousands of local homes.

(Cameras snapping)

(Cows mooing)

Electricity for local homes.

(Rooster crows)

That's it.

- What? - That's it?

What the hell? What about the budget?

I suppose I could take a few questions.

No one? Okay.

Reporters: Sir! Sir! George: Alan.

What about the budget?!

How do you propose to make the change

from old to new energy technology

without massive job disruptions?

(Cameras snapping)

It's a good question.

My government intends to create a fund

to sponsor innovative energy solutions.

How much money would there be in that fund?

(Cow mooing)

I believe we've earmarked a hundred and fifteen,

a hundred and fifty million dollars

for that particular program.

Oh my God!

Reporter: How will you pay for it?

Pay for?

Reporter: Strategic partnerships? Revenue share? Carbon tax?

That is a question.

That my staff and I will be looking into great detail.

Reporter: How many jobs will be lost in the transition

to a carbon free economy?

Reporter: Isn't it true Canadians just aren't ready

for a massive shift as far as the-

Reporter: Are you aware that the premier of Alberta

has duly announced his own green energy initiative?

Ah!

(Reporters yell out questions)

I don't believe it.

Oh!

Thank you so much for coming. Merci beaucoup!

Get me Daniel Addison, now!

(Reporters laugh)

Quimby steps in it again.

Quimby rolls out hot air campaign.

Quimby's big great cow flop!

You did this on purpose, didn't you?

You little shit.

Are you crazy? Why would I do that?

Well, how the hell am I supposed to know

what goes on in your pathetic head?

Bradley!

Stanton: How could you write a speech

about a major campaign initiative

without including a cost analysis?

- I did include a cost analysis. - What?

It was on the last page.

Did you not look it over before you gave it to him?

Listen jerk wad,

I am sick to death of your superior attitude. All right?

My superi... my superi...

Bradley, did you hear what I just said?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't you try to weasel out of this.

This is all your fault.

Yours! Yours! Yours! Okay?

(Calming breaths)

(Phone rings)

Rachel.

Daniel, I'm sorry, this is so not your fault.

Forget it.

Rantin' Stanton strikes again.

No, no, listen, I'm coming home tonight.

Please, let's meet for a drink,

please, this is the least I can do.

I owe you this.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Crappy business, huh? - Yeah, you said it.

(Phone ringing)

Just so you know, Stanton's going down.

- Who, who told you that? - Vultures are circling,

waiting for him to be thrown on the road.

Serves him right, the creep.

I feel like getting pissed,

do you feel like getting pissed? I feel like getting pissed.

- Yeah, sure. - Good. Two.

So, Stanton, where did you hear that from?

Doesn't matter, can't tell you.

- No, it does matter. - No, I can't tell you.

Please just, please, give me the-

Thank you.

Daniel, um, I'm obviously an idiot,

I thought we said Thursday for the movie,

but I'm not sure whether you actually got my text.

Anyway, I hope your day went well.

Call me when things aren't so busy.

It's Lindsay, by the way.

(Beeps phone off)

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