All language subtitles for The Best Laid Plans s01e03 Raise A Little Hell.eng

Daniel:
It has been said,

that democracy is the art
of running the circus

from inside the monkey cage.

Newscaster:
In election news,

opposition leader George Quimby
was in Regina yesterday

where his campaign bus went
missing for several hours.

Yet another embarrassing
setback for Quimby

in a campaign
which has suffered

more than its fair
share of snafu's.

Red twenty-two,
red twenty-two, hut hut.

Ow!

(Reporters laugh,
camera shutters click)

It's a good day for this, huh?

(Laughs)

Daniel:
No, not the hair net.

Newscaster: Yesterday's missing bus
driver has people wondering...

Here it comes.

Whether Quimby's whole
campaign might be termed,

missing in action.

(Sighs) Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the monkey cage.

sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com

I am Daniel Addison,

former head speech writer

for the man in the hair net,
George Quimby.

(Starts engine)

Three weeks ago,
I let myself be browbeaten

into running a
campaign on behalf

of a can't win candidate
named Angus McLintock,

also my landlord,

against our superstar finance
minister, Eric Cameron.

Our campaign headquarters
is located in the dining room

of the riverside
seniors residence,

manned by a team of
elderly pensioners,

including the formidable
Muriel Parkinson.

Seniors: Hello. Hi.
Daniel: Hi.

And two wide-eyed fanatics

from the u of o's
engineering department.

- What's this?
- Priority polls.

- Priority?
- We heard a rumour,

there might be a McLintock
voter in an apartment complex

somewhere in poll 31.

Pete 1: Now if there's
one, there could be two.

Maybe a whole tribe.

We're gonna knock on every
door until we find him.

That's the spirit, guys!

We'll go beyond the impossible.

Kick reason to the curb!

That's how team Gurren rolls.

Sorry, team what now?

You know, Tengen
Toppa Gurren Lagann.

Video game?

No, it's a 2007 Anime
series set in the future

where humanity is
forced underground

by the evil spiral
king lord genome.

Daniel, got an idea.

My great-grandson
told me about it,

it's called a viral video.
You know what it is?

Uh, yeah.

If you upload it to
the world wide web,

people like it.

Then before you know it,

- you got fifty million
followers. - Ha!

Jerry, I don't think
it's so easy to get-

Pete 1:
Well, that's not a bad idea.

Daniel: What?
Pete 1: The video.

Nope, nope,
it's a terrible idea.

Pete 2:
Why?

Because it's expensive.

- Not necessarily.
- We could crowd source.

It's a waste of resources.

- We could get the student-
- Not gonna happen, guys.

- But sir,
- No, no, guys,

we need to focus our efforts
on the door-to-door campaign.

That is what's gonna
win us our votes.

So, poll 31, crushing
the spiral king, okay?

Sorry, Jerry, I don't
mean to be a downer.

Jerry:
Then, what about a-

excuse me, Jerry.

Twitter campaign.

Oh Ernie, you dirt bag,
of course we're up and running.

We're coming to
get you this time

so watch your back,
because Cameron is going down.

(Laughter)

- Hi.
- Hi, Daniel.

Have you seen the numbers?

I know, disappointing.

Try catastrophic.

How is Angus holding up?

Angus?
He's okay.

Yeah?

He, he knew the odds were
stacked against him,

you know he just wants
to run a clean campaign.

Well, you know,
I'd like to meet the man.

Who? Angus?

Well, as the only person
to run five times

against Eric Cameron,

I think it's only right.

Yes. The thing is, Muriel,
he is quite shy,

almost pathologically so.

Daniel, I just wanna
shake his hand,

tell him I appreciate
what he's doing for the party.

I'll see what I can do.
(Nervous chuckle)

Daniel, are you single?

- Uh...
- I'm just curious.

Oh yes.
I mean, no, no,

I-I sort of declared a kind of
a moratorium on relationships.

A moratorium?
Like, with COD?

Yes, except uh-
Lindsay: Hey, gran.

Daniel: Not so permanent. See-
Muriel: Oh, hello dear.

Hi, Lindsay, hi.

- Hey, Daniel.
- Hi.

We were just talking about you,
weren't we, Daniel?

We were?

Yes, we were wondering
if you could come

to the Cameron fundraiser
tomorrow night?

Yes, yes, please,

we need as many warm
bodies as possible.

Hmm, infiltrating the Cameron
camp sounds scary.

Oh, yeah, have you ever been
in a room full of zombies?

Zombies?

Yeah, yeah, a Cameron rally,

it's like the night
of the living dead.

- Well, now I'm psyched.
- Okay, but bring garlic.

Uh, dude,
garlic is for vampires.

With zombies you have
to destroy their brains

with like a crowbar,
or a flamethrower.

Or a chainsaw.

Or an Egyptian obelisk.

Thank you, for that.

I shall bring the obelisk.

I'll definitely bring mine too,
just to, you know.

Great.

(Switch clicks off)

(Crickets chirp)

(Bagpipes playing)

(Exhales)

Woo hoo hoo, woo ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, laddie, what timing!

I've just had a breakthrough.

I was thinking about something
Marin used to say,

and boom, there it was,

the final piece of the puzzle

for my water filtration
project!

Ha ha!

What's the matter, can't sleep?

Well, to tell you the truth-

what about a wee dram
and a game, eh?

Ha ha ha!

Uh oh, hmm, check.

Damn.

Ha ha ha!

Well now, how goes the battle?

Which one?

My futile attempt to educate
engineering students

on the basics of English
grammar,

or your ill-fated campaign?

Start with the educating.

Like teaching bison
to play tennis.

(Laughs)

They don't like it,
they don't see the point of it,

and they're not very good
at it.

Ha. And the campaign?

Well, all in all I'd say
your chances of winning

have improved from
don't make me laugh,

to you must be kidding.

Splendid!

Listen, Cameron's victory
is well and truly in the bag.

I'm very glad to hear it.

Though I have to say,
I don't much care for the man.

He's all surface charm,
but underneath it all,

I can't help feeling
he's a self-absorbed,

double speaking blaggard.

I concur,

the man is a genius at speaking
out of both sides of his mouth.

Well, we get the
politicians we deserve.

Yes, we do.

Of course it's easy
for me to criticize

sitting here on the sidelines.

Some might even argue

that this phoney
campaign of mine

is part of the problem,
an offence to democracy.

It's no wonder voters
are so cynical.

There.
(Farts)

Ha! Apologies.

Too much turnip in the diet.

Oh.

Move, damn it!

Okay.
(Humming)

Oh-oh.
Check and mate.

Idiot!
Why did I not see that?

Because, you over think.

Trust your instincts, lad.

Vive ut vivas, my friend.

You should come for a swim
with me, you know.

No thank you.

(Humming)
Donald,
where's your trousers?

(Farts, humming)

Doesn't look too scary.

Oh, yeah, just you wait.
Brains, brains!

Pete 1: They totally
misspelled supporters.

Well, I guess when your
approval rating is 96 percent,

you don't have to worry about
a little thing like spelling.

Well, look what
the rats dragged in.

Hello, Petra.

What are you doing here?

We bought tickets,
just like anyone else.

Well, you wouldn't be spying
on us, would you?

Know thy enemy.
Come on.

Watch and learn, Danny boy,

watch and learn.

Both:
Ow!

Okay.

Pete 1:
Scary.

("You ain't seen nothing yet" by
Bachman-Turner overdrive plays)

Geez, what is this the fifties?

Well, as far as Cameron
is concerned,

it is the fifties.

(Cheering)
C-a-m-e-r-o-n.

Go Cameron!

(Cheering and applause)

Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen,

the Cumberland chamber of
commerce is pleased to welcome

the candidate
for Cumberland-Prescott,

the current minister of finance

and just possibly our future
prime minister,

the honourable Eric Cameron.

(Band playing)
(Cheering and applause)

(Chanting) Cameron! Cameron!
Cameron! Cameron!

Thank you.

My fellow Canadians,

Canada, this is and has always
been our country,

and the greatest country
in the world.

(Cheering and applause)

A country built
with old-fashioned values,

like decency, and integrity,

and above all, family.

(Cheering and applause)

My friends, stand with me

to ensure that these values
remain at the core

of our democracy
because, my friends,

Canada, we must stand
on guard for thee!

(Band playing,
cheering and applause)

Thank you.

(Cheering and applause)

(Canting) Cameron! Cameron!
Cameron! Cameron!

Hey, thanks for being
part of team Cameron.

Ha ha! Stand on guard
for thee, huh?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

(Chanting) Cameron! Cameron!
Cameron! Cameron!

- Hello, Addison.
- Fontana.

How come you don't
return my calls?

Was that you? I thought
that was a telemarketer.

Ha! I was hoping to get
something on record

about your um,
so called candidate.

So called?

No campaign ads,
no websites, no press,

not even a single lawn sign.

Well, Angus is a staunch
environmentalist.

You know that those
Cameron lawn signs

can't even be recycled?
That's a disgrace.

You're hiding something,
Addison.

I can feel it.
What, hmm?

Not hiding anything,
Norman, okay?

Our campaign isn't
like other campaigns

because Angus McLintock
is not like other politicians.

He's something we haven't seen
in a long time in this country.

Yeah, what's that?

His own man.
Just-

(door squeaks open)

(Computer keys clack)

(Humming)

What the hell?

Yeah, hi, this is Norm
Fontana, Ottawa Tribune,

am I speaking with the
editor of the Fanfare?

Yeah, I was just wondering

why the Angus McLintock
interview was spiked?

Oh, really.

Is that so?

Uh-huh.

Daniel:
This is beautiful,

it's great to be back
on the path.

You know, actually, before I
started working on the hill,

I used to be pretty
active physically.

So when you mentioned
you were a runner

I thought it would be a good
time to brush off

the old sneakers.

It just makes my blood boil,
that's all.

Sorry, what?

Cameron,

that he can just walk away
with this election

without ever having
to defend himself?

Did you know that
he's not even showing up

to the town hall tomorrow?

Yeah, I uh, heard that.

Muriel was at every debate,
every community rally,

every barbecue.

She believed in holding our
representatives accountable.

Well Muriel,
Muriel's a hell of a gal.

She would have made
a great parliamentarian.

Hold up, hold up, hill cramp.

(Chuckles)

Just stretch it out.

Hey, is it true that
you have some kind of

moratorium on personal
relationships?

Um... she's also a
terrible gossip.

Yeah, I don't know if I'd call
it a moratorium, exactly,

it's more like a brief
pause for reflection.

I walked in on my last
girlfriend and her boss

um... you know...

That's awful, I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah,

so I figured I should just,

you know, I should take some
time to sort things out.

Hence the um,
moratorium thingy.

Sure. Yeah.

- So uh... - Okay.
- Okay.

I just like hanging out
with you, that's all.

Me too.

Another loop?

Uh, you know what, I should
probably get back to work.

Right, okay.
Well...

We could catch a movie
sometime, soon.

- When?
- Thursday?

I'll text you.

(Hushed crowd roaring sounds)

Michael:
Using data mining techniques

and r-squared predicting
points,

we have developed an enhanced
constituent

information management system

with the ability
to micro target

previously inaccessible
cross tabs.

Stanton: Addison! Good
of you to join us,

what with your busy schedule
and all.

No problem, Bradley.

You know the zed-man.

Michael.

Stanton: Michael was just running
down the latest poll numbers.

Where are we getting
the most traction?

Among four key demographic
segments -

raging Asians,
dollars for donuts,

weekend warriors,
and dibblers and dabblers.

(Intrigued murmurs)

Yes?

Sorry, dibblers and dabblers?

Michael: A mix of older
blue-collared married women,

middle class suburban gays,

and nine percent Caribbean,

that share a preference
for bingo, bulk buying,

and burritos.

(Agreement murmurs)

And why are we targeting them?

Michael: They are part
of the five percent

who can actually sway
the selection.

Yeah, without their support,
we're going to return

to exactly the same numbers
as before the election.

So what you're saying

is that none of our policies

are having any effect
whatsoever.

That's correct.

Okay, has anybody considered
the possibility

that what voters really want

is a candidate who says
what he means,

and means what he says?

I don't have the data on that,

I'd have to run a few numbers.

Zed-man, could you give us
a rundown

of the ridings in eastern
Ontario

starting with um,
Cumberland-Prescott?

Michael:
Of the decided voters,

which constitutes 90 percent,

92 percent are solidly
for Cameron,

across the voting spectrum.

As for our candidate,
Angus McLintock,

most of his support is rooted
in the over 75 demographic,

or golden oldsters.

If the numbers hold firm,

we should finish
just South of somewhere

around a 140 votes.

(Laughter)

Did you say 140?

Plus or minus one percent,
19 times out of 20.

(Laughter)

Stanton: Hey, Addison,
don't let it get you down.

You know what they say,

it ain't over 'til
you're six feet under.

(Laughter)

Stanton:
Ha ha ha ha!

Thank you,

to those of you who actually
took the time to find a book,

read the book,
and report on the book.

Though, for the record,

"hockey stories and stuff"

is not, strictly speaking,
a work of fiction.

I know that many of you

still think
that learning English

in first year engineering
is a waste of time.

Well, I hope by the
end of this year

to persuade you otherwise.

And to do that, allow
me to introduce you

to these three friends of mine,
pathos, ethos, and logos,

meaning emotion,
ethics, and reason.

Aristotle called this triangle

the foundation of
persuasive argument,

otherwise known as rhetoric.

It can be found in everything
from advertising,

sham wow, anyone?
No?

Okay. Religion,
faith, family, freedom,

sorry, that wasn't to you.

And yes, even in politics,

"ask not what your
country can do for you."

Okay? No?

Your task this week
is to create

a short piece of persuasive argument
on a subject that you choose.

Yes, Mary Anne?

- Can it be on anything?
- Yes, your choice.

Professor, does it have
to be like, written?

Yes!

(Class groans)

Okay, okay,
I'll make an exception.

It can be a speech,
or it can be a poster,

an ad, a video,

as long as it uses these
three concepts, okay?

So think big, aim high,
raise a little hell.

Any more questions?

No, okay.

As always, I am available
to answer your questions

by phone, or by email,
or in my office

between the hours
of two and four P.M.

Plus or minus one minute,
19 times out of 20.

(Clock ticking)

(Students chatter)

(Clock ticking)

(Knocking)

Yes, yes, please come in.

I tried messaging you.
Did you unfriend me?

Hello, Rachel.

(Shuts door)

- So, this is your little office.
- Not so little.

And, what do you do
here all day long?

I teach. I read, catch
up on my research.

I'm writing a paper.

And are you happy?

Never been so happy.

(Passionate kissing)

(Papers rustling)

Rachel:
What is wrong with you?

What?

You're a political animal,
Daniel,

this is a waste of your talent.

Why are you here, Rachel?

Hmm. Quimby's campaign
is off the rails,

and for the exactly
the reasons you mentioned -

voters are sick of being
manipulated,

they want to see passion,
integrity, character.

So?

We're rebranding.

- Halfway through the campaign?
- It's our only hope.

We're going to do it
over the weekend,

relaunch on Monday with a new
Quimby, an authentic Quimby,

a Quimby who stands
for something.

Such as?

Climate change?

I thought we didn't use
the c word.

That was before.

Two-thirds of voters want
the government

to do something
about carbon emissions,

and yet no politician
will talk about it. Why?

Because they're afraid!

They think it's a choice

between the environment
and the economy,

but that's a false dichotomy.

You know, it's not an issue
of left versus right

or progressives versus
conservatives,

climate change affects
all of us.

You know,
instead of dividing us,

it should bring us together.

See! This is why we need you,
to make people understand,

to make them care
before it's too late.

Uh, no!

No. Sorry,
I'm needed here.

Here? In your little
ivory tower?

Can't beat the view.

Daniel, what happened to you?

You've become so... old.

Next thing you know,

you'll be wearing a cardigan
and smoking a pipe.

Okay, well, thank you so much
for stopping by, Rachel.

(Door opening and closing)

I'm not old. Am I?

Yes, I'm... I'm very
fond of this old house.

Oh yes, it's so warm
and welcoming.

And this is a particularly
special place for me, here.

This is where Marin wrote.

She loved the view
toward the river.

Oh my.

You know, I just want
to thank you for doing this.

- This?
- The running for election.

Despite your personal
circumstances,

and the appalling odds.

Yes well um,
someone's got to do it.

Oh, don't be so modest.

It takes real gumption
to do what you are doing.

Well, what did Marin say?

If you're not at the table,
you're on the menu.

Uh, can I offer you some tea,
or something stronger?

Oh, a gin and tonic, with
a twist, if you have it?

Of course.

(Phone chimes)

It's Lindsay.

Thursday's a go.
Yay!

Okay, so I'm officially
reconsidering my moratorium.

It's been six weeks, after all.

Yes, Rachel broke
my heart, badly,

and yes, I should be taking time
to reflect on the past, to heal.

But Lindsay, Lindsay is so
different from Rachel.

You know, it's like apples
and oranges,

it's like chalk and cheese, it's
like Eric Cameron and Angus.

Angus, Jesus, what the hell
are they talking about

for so long in there?

What if Angus accidentally
spills the beans about our deal?

Or what if Muriel confronts him
about why he agreed to run?

(Door opening)

Angus:
It was a pleasure.

(Muriel laughing)

Angus: Now are you sure you
won't stay for a bite to eat?

Oh, no thank you,
that's very kind,

but I think I'd better
get back to the residence

before the dinner stampede.

(Laughter)

You ready?

I like her,
she's the real deal.

I like him, he's the real deal.

Daniel:
He certainly is.

He thinks for himself,

which is a rare thing
for a politician.

- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Okay.

(Phone ringing)

Addison.

Look, I already told you,
I-

Fine. Where?

(Whispering)
Addison, over here.

- Fontana, what the hell?
- Shhh! Cameras.

Cameras.

Were you followed?

Followed?

Anybody follow you?

Yeah, but I lost 'em in
the tie department at Holt's.

Fontana, why are we
meeting in here?

It's where I meet
all my sources.

Nice and quiet and uh,
out of the way.

(Wheels squeak)

Can we make this quick, please?

According to my uh, my notes,

you said your candidate
wasn't giving any interviews.

That's right.

And yet, he spoke to a
reporter from the fanfare.

Angus was approached
by a kid in the campus pub.

He thought it was for
uh, the term paper.

That why you killed
the story? Hmm?

(Keyboard playing
a lively tune)

I didn't kill the story, okay?

There were factual inaccuracies,
the editor agreed to pull it down.

See, I got witnesses who say

they saw you and one of
your campaign workers

grabbing papers from boxes
all around campus

right after the paper came out,

and uh, you were throwing
them in the trash.

I figured maybe the
candidate was too candid,

maybe he wandered off the
reservation, so to speak.

I figure Bradley Stanton
put the screws in,

made you take it down.

(Keyboard playing)

As I said, there
were inaccuracies.

Hello?!

(Keyboard playing loudly)

Hey! Yeah, you!
Would you mind uh...

Two minutes. Okay?

(Keyboard playing stops)

It'll cost you.

Yeah, no problem.

Listen, Addison,

I don't give a rat's ass about
this McLintock lad, okay?

So he's a kook, so what?

What I do want
is the inside dope

on the Quimby campaign, hmm?

I have nothing to do with
the Quimby campaign.

Oh yeah?
Yeah.

Then what was Rachel Bronwin
doing in your office?

Are you, are you spying on me?

I just happened to be on campus
when I saw her get out of her car,

so I followed her.

Look, Fontana,

you're barking up the
wrong tree here, okay?

All I know about
the national campaign

is what I see on TV, so.

As if. I know your type
Addison, you're a lifer.

So, you'll get me the inside
dope on the campaign

or an interview with
McLintock. Deal?

No, no, no deal.

You've got nothin', Fontana.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

You think your little
midnight run

won't make the front page, huh?

Former Quimby
communications chief

threatens student newspaper, huh?
Huh?

(Keyboard playing resumes)

(Change dropping)

Don't you have to have
a licence or something?

Newscaster: Unusually high
winds in the Beaufort sea

are hampering cleanup efforts

of yesterday's massive
Arctic ocean spill.

Angus: I don't
understand the problem.

Daniel: The problem
is I can't figure out

how to turn this vacuum on.

It doesn't make any sense.

Angus:
Nonsense,

it's a simple two-tier radial
cyclone system.

A child could figure it out.

Yeah, a child with a Ph.D.
in mechanical engineering.

Newscaster: Could wreak massive
damage to local wildlife.

You know, uh, by the way, I had
a request for an interview.

Angus:
A what?

Yeah, an interview, you
know, with a reporter

from the Ottawa Tribune.

Is that a joke?

No it's, it's just a
puff piece, really.

Won't affect your chances.

- Oh sure, sure, I'll do it.
- You will?

No problem, and I'll tell
everyone about our deal.

Point taken.

Angus:
You daft bugger,

ya don't know what the hell
you're talking about.

I'm sorry, what?

That buffoon,
Eric Cameron, is on TV.

Eric:
That is simply not true.

This government is very
concerned, very concerned,

with environmental
issues in the Arctic.

In fact, we are
pleased to announce

that we will be planting
ten thousand new trees

in the resolute bay area.

You can't grow trees
in resolute bay!

It's above the tree line.

Angus:
Exactly!

Eric: It will also have the
added benefit of protecting

the polar bear population
in that area.

Ah, I cannot take anymore.

I'm going for a swim.
(Hangs up phone)

Eric:
Uh, now...

Yeah.
(Beeps phone off)

Eric:
With regards to climate change,

and what part that may have
played in this disaster,

until scientists come
to a clear consensus

on the root causes
of global warming,

this government is determined
to remain vigilant,

for all environmental
issues in the Arctic,

and of course in the
rest of Canada.

(Laughs) Oh, my God.

(Vacuum whirs)

Really?
No clear consensus?

Are you kidding me?

That's it.

(Phone ringing)

Hey, 98 percent of scientists
around the world agree,

climate change is real and
it's caused by human activity.

So what else do we need
consensus on,

universal gravitation?
The speed of light?

- Rachel: So you'll do it.
- You bet your ass I'll do it.

Oh Daniel,
that is such great news.

Okay, watch it!

Daniel:
Where are you?

- The zoo bus.
Daniel: - Where?

Rachel:
Quimby's campaign bus.

We've been on the road
for 12 hours straight.

Press aren't handling it well.

Okay!
That's enough.

Next person who throws
something, goes home!

I'll call you as soon
as I can, Daniel,

it's so nice to hear you sounding
like your old self again.

(Loud fighting)

(Vacuum whirring)

Pete 1:
Is everything okay?

I have to go and do some work
for the Quimby campaign.

I'm leaving you guys in charge,
just for a few days, okay?

You remember the rules, right?

No interviews, no lawn signs,
no advertising.

- Word.
- No doubt.

Don't worry about
a thing, boss.

So we frame it as a
business problem, okay?

Adapt or die.

Like the whaling industry,
at one point it was massive

and then something better came
along, and bam! It disappeared.

Same with oil, one day
we are going to look back,

we are going to shake our heads

that people actually used to drill
this way for carbon-based fuel.

Any more wings?

No? Never mind.

Okay, next point.

Okay guys,
are we all standing by?!

(Cheering)

Let's make this triumphant!

(Cheering)

Cue playback!

Three! Two! One!

(Rock song plays)

I like the bit
about creativity,

can we do more with that,

maybe call it
good old Canadian ingenuity?

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Uh, wawa.

Daniel: Other countries are way
ahead of us on this, okay?

China. Three percent of their
gdp is spent on green tax.

South Korea, actually can
you check the stats for that.

Man:
Yeah, sure.

We can use that
in the budget section.

Rachel:
Cut progressive practices.

Daniel: What's wrong with
progressive practices?

It's too lefty,
modern is better.

And money making
instead of prosperity.

Oh, seriously?

It's about getting the message out
to the broadest number of people.

You're right okay,
yeah, got it.

So uh, where are you now?

Where are now?

Saskatoon!
Saskatoon.

Hmm.

Okay, paragraph two,

clean energy revolution
and job creation.

It's a mouthful,
can it be simplified?

Yeah, no problem.

Guys! Guys!
That's a wrap!

Thank you so much!

Totally excellent effort.

Rock on, rock on!

(Cheering, applause)

You guys are awesome!

I love you all!
I love your vision!

(Cheering)

Rachel, Rachel, listen to me,

people aren't stupid, okay?
Thank you.

They know that this kind of
thing doesn't happen overnight.

They know that there's
no silver bullet

for this kind of thing.

Rachel: All right, geez,
don't take my head off.

Put the paragraph back.

Thank you.

You know, you're one tough
hombre when you want to be.

Hmm, back at you partner.

(Loud exhale)

You smoking?

Yeah, first time
in three years.

Call me first thing
in the morning.

God, I've missed this.

(Beeps phone off)

Pete 1: Looking good
man, it's looking good.

All right, how about this,
vote Angus vote change,

and then a number for people
to call and donate?

Okay. All we have to do
is press upload and...

Crush the spiral king!

Infinity!
Big bang!

(Explosion sound)

Daniel:
Cheers!

All: Cheers!
(Glasses clink)

Thank you guys, so much

for your incredible hard work.

Let's just hope it doesn't
all get buried

under some Quimby-esque
photo op disaster, huh?

(Phone rings)

So?
Did you get it?

Rachel: Yeah, I had to wait
until we got to a gas station

to use their wi-fi.

Just reading it now.
Daniel, it's fantastic.

That's good, because we were up
all night working on it.

Rachel: I'll see you
when I get home.

We should uh, celebrate.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Excellent video, man.

Agh. Thanks.
Wait, what?

The one for your
candidate, McLintock?

(Video playing)

(Laughter)

When did you post this?

Last night.

Yo, it's already reached
like 2500 hits.

Wow, 2500.

It's sick, huh?

Yeah.

Accounts?
No.

Campaign finances,
third-party advertising, ah!

Here's something.

Were any of the organizers
foreign nationals?

No.

Oh, then I can't see
any legal impediment

to an online video encouraging
young people to vote.

Good luck!

Yeah, thanks.

I'm surprised
you got the rights.

Sorry, sorry what?

Rights, to the song.

Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

Ha ha!

Okay.

Oh, I love the lavender.

But I'm worried that it
reads too metro, eh?

Huh?
Metro.

What?
Oh.

Oh, looks like a tablecloth.

And just, oh yes,
this is very authentic,

though I wish the stitching
would be a teeny bit bolder.

Oh man, can we speed this up?

- Stanton!
- Yeah?

Where's that speech?

Just printing it off now,
George.

The bus is here.

Oh thank God, finally
something is going right.

But we haven't tried
on the jeans!

Oh! Oh!

(Printer whirs)

George: And on that space
station, the Canadarm,

the kind of Canadian ingenuity

for which we're known
around the world,

the kind now shown
by innovative companies

like Alberta Biogas,

that use chicken and cow manure

to generate electricity for
thousands of local homes.

(Cameras snapping)

(Cows mooing)

Electricity for local homes.

(Rooster crows)

That's it.

- What?
- That's it?

What the hell?
What about the budget?

I suppose I could take
a few questions.

No one? Okay.

Reporters: Sir! Sir!
George: Alan.

What about the budget?!

How do you propose
to make the change

from old to new energy
technology

without massive
job disruptions?

(Cameras snapping)

It's a good question.

My government intends
to create a fund

to sponsor innovative
energy solutions.

How much money would
there be in that fund?

(Cow mooing)

I believe we've earmarked
a hundred and fifteen,

a hundred and fifty
million dollars

for that particular program.

Oh my God!

Reporter:
How will you pay for it?

Pay for?

Reporter: Strategic partnerships?
Revenue share? Carbon tax?

That is a question.

That my staff and I will be
looking into great detail.

Reporter: How many jobs will
be lost in the transition

to a carbon free economy?

Reporter: Isn't it true
Canadians just aren't ready

for a massive shift
as far as the-

Reporter: Are you aware
that the premier of Alberta

has duly announced his own
green energy initiative?

Ah!

(Reporters yell out questions)

I don't believe it.

Oh!

Thank you so much for coming.
Merci beaucoup!

Get me Daniel Addison, now!

(Reporters laugh)

Quimby steps in it again.

Quimby rolls out hot air
campaign.

Quimby's big great cow flop!

You did this on purpose,
didn't you?

You little shit.

Are you crazy?
Why would I do that?

Well, how the hell
am I supposed to know

what goes on in your
pathetic head?

Bradley!

Stanton:
How could you write a speech

about a major campaign
initiative

without including
a cost analysis?

- I did include a cost analysis.
- What?

It was on the last page.

Did you not look it over
before you gave it to him?

Listen jerk wad,

I am sick to death of your
superior attitude. All right?

My superi... my superi...

Bradley, did you hear
what I just said?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't you try to
weasel out of this.

This is all your fault.

Yours! Yours! Yours!
Okay?

(Calming breaths)

(Phone rings)

Rachel.

Daniel, I'm sorry,
this is so not your fault.

Forget it.

Rantin' Stanton strikes again.

No, no, listen,
I'm coming home tonight.

Please, let's meet for a drink,

please, this is the
least I can do.

I owe you this.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Crappy business, huh?
- Yeah, you said it.

(Phone ringing)

Just so you know,
Stanton's going down.

- Who, who told you that?
- Vultures are circling,

waiting for him to be
thrown on the road.

Serves him right, the creep.

I feel like getting pissed,

do you feel like getting pissed?
I feel like getting pissed.

- Yeah, sure.
- Good. Two.

So, Stanton, where did
you hear that from?

Doesn't matter, can't tell you.

- No, it does matter.
- No, I can't tell you.

Please just, please,
give me the-

Thank you.

Daniel, um,
I'm obviously an idiot,

I thought we said
Thursday for the movie,

but I'm not sure whether
you actually got my text.

Anyway, I hope your
day went well.

Call me when things
aren't so busy.

It's Lindsay, by the way.

(Beeps phone off)

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