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(Opera music plays)
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Angus: (Loud bang) Oh damn it, not again!
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(Hammering)
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Daniel: My name is Daniel Addison.
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This morning I start my new life
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as a college professor.
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But before that, I have to end my old life
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by running a political campaign,
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one I've promised the candidate I'd lose.
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I know it sounds like a lot,
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but I've always been good at juggling,
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at not spreading myself too thin.
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Newscaster: ... Of course
these are unconfirmed reports,
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but our sources tell us
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that today could be the day
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Canadians have been waiting for,
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the day the Prime Minister drops the writ.
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Daniel: There it is, my new life awaits.
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And oh yeah, finalizing the candidacy
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of one Angus McClintock,
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the man I made a deal with,
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with whom I made a deal.
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Angus is my hail mary pass,
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a professor of engineering
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who has agreed to be my candidate
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for Cumberland-Prescott
under two conditions...
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he doesn't do any campaigning,
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and I take over his
english for engineers class.
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(Knocking)
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(Loud whirring)
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(Loud knocking)
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Oh, I'm sorry,
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I... I didn't realize you were busy.
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What did you think I was doing here?
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Did I not tell you this is my workshop?
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(Loud whirring)
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I'm sorry, sorry to interrupt you,
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but I've come with the nomination papers.
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What?!
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The nomination papers.
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You need to sign...
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Sign! To make your candidacy official.
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I'm a man of my word, lad,
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leave it there, I'll do it later.
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Have you got the syllabus?
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Sorry?
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The binder, man! The binder.
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The collected wisdom of my 20 years
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of teaching english for engineers.
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(Sighs) Better take a look...
we leave in half an hour.
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Oh my...
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(Drill whirs) Oh!
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As captain of this
band of merry sailors,
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I'm a black mark, I'm a failure,
55
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but before you watch me drown,
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I'm relinquishing command
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for something I don't understand
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this man's about to turn
his whole life upside down.
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I'll settle here on a
new shore,
(New shore)
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My lips were blue
and my legs were sore.
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I forget if I was pushed
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or I jumped overboard.
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And after all this time,
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what's the difference.
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- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Newscaster: ... Of course
it's a mere formality
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that she asks the Governor General
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to dissolve Parliament.
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How can I lose to this woman?
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Newscaster: ... On a
five-week election campaign.
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I mean, what does she even stand for?
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Newscaster: Which, she hopes,
will give her the majority
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that has so far eluded her.
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What are her credentials?
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Does she even have a thought in her head?
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Oh that's what we're about to find out.
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Okay, are we framing the first week?
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We've taken a run at your opening speech.
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(Snaps fingers) Rachel.
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(Snaps fingers)
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No. (Marker rasps)
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No. (Marker rasps)
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Oh, definitely not.
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(Marker rasps)
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I crossed out the bits I don't like.
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(Paper rustles)
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Yes!
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Hmm.
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Okay boys and girls,
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I did not bring down
the Canadian government
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in order to play footsie
with the electorate.
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So let's say what we mean,
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and mean what we say, hmm?
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What are the three most famous catchphrases
95
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in Canadian politics?
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Uh, just watch me.
97
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You had an option, sir.
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I vote for you and then
it's goodbye, Charlie Brown.
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That's it! That's it!
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That's what I want.
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Get me some of that.
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Well, the thing is, and I don't mean to be,
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to sound, um,
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what I'm saying is,
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those were all impromptu,
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you don't just come up
with something like that.
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Addington would have.
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Stanton: Addison?
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Yes. He was a Shakespeare
among speech writers.
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Remind me why he quit again?
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Woman on radio: ... Or, is Canada headed
for yet another minority government,
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and the uncertainty that comes with it?
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We'll find out soon enough
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as the Prime Minister is now just arriving
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for her meeting with the
Queen's representative.
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Blather.
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I kind of want to listen to that.
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You're better off kind of
looking over the syllabus.
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However, if your modern mind requires
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a distracting sound, try this.
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(Operatic music)
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You were listening to that
this morning, in your workshop.
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Angus: Aye.
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Daniel: You just, the
one song you like, or... ?
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Angus: Oh, that's six,
six sighs in seven minutes.
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I'm beginning to wonder
about your commitment.
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Daniel: What, I'm committed.
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I just didn't think it was
going to be so detailed.
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Look, I need a hundred
signatures on this thing
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to support your nomination.
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How am I supposed to ask other
people to sign it, if you won't?
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Angus: Then maybe you were
right, maybe it was a bad idea.
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What? Wha...
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You will not find a hundred people
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to support my nomination.
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- Girl: Oh, Professor MCC!
- Angus: Good day!
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What are you talking about?
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You're practically the king
of Kensington around here.
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If that's a cultural
reference, it escapes me. Oh!
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Daniel: I'll Google it for you.
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(Phone ringing) Addison.
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Oh, hello Danny, it's Muriel.
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Only my mother calls me Danny.
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I'm honoured.
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So, do you have any news for me,
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for example about the name of a candidate?
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I hope so.
148
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Hey, hey! Turn that back to the news!
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Jerry: You heard the lady.
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Hey, hello?
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Tv stays on the election coverage.
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Muriel: So, about the candidate?
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Are you going to be around this afternoon?
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Well, I certainly hope so.
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Great, I'll see you then.
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McClintock, don't you know how to knock?
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Here's a knocking, indeed.
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What's that from?
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It's from MacBeth, you
drivel-consuming idiot.
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And him a dean.
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I'll make this easy for your rumpling.
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You, in your wisdom,
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have decided that I should
teach english for engineers,
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despite the fact that I have endured
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this particular circle of hell
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for three out of the past seven years.
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Whereas my faculty colleagues have...
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in spite of the fact that my colleagues
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have taught this course but once, each.
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As I've already said,
no one else is available.
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Not so. He is.
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Allow me to introduce Daniel Addison,
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associate professor in
the faculty of english.
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And happy to volunteer for the position
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of overseer of the department
of linguistic corrections.
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You can't just pluck
someone from another faculty
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and have them take your
place. It's just not done.
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Daniel, step outside for
a moment, will you, lad.
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There's no question that Daniel
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is qualified to teach this course!
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(Muffled arguing)
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(Door squeaks open)
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(Toilet flushing)
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(Sink running)
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(Phone ringing)
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Dean: You're a son of a bitch, McClintock!
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Speech writer.
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His aim is a little off.
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What happened?
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I invoked a darkly held secret,
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one that I'm loathe to speak of in public.
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So you blackmailed him so
I could teach your class?
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Aye.
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Dean: Well, are you coming?
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Following yesterday's disappointing events,
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His Excellency, the
Governor General has agreed
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to dissolve Parliament.
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My fellow Canadians...
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Norm.
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Hmm. Oh, hey Hal.
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Hal: So it's come to this?
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00:09:04,762 --> 00:09:07,830
They've got you covering
the election from your desk.
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00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:10,360
For the election in six years...
same words, different weather.
204
00:09:10,358 --> 00:09:12,425
Not worth the price of parking.
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00:09:15,253 --> 00:09:18,422
Norm, you are a hell of a reporter.
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00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:22,420
Ha. I knew this day was coming.
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00:09:24,081 --> 00:09:25,181
Am I getting a buy out?
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00:09:25,181 --> 00:09:27,015
Hell no, they're all gone.
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00:09:27,014 --> 00:09:28,046
Reassignment, then.
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Just whatever you do,
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please, don't put me on the pansy patch.
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00:09:32,626 --> 00:09:33,625
I haven't been to the theatre in 20 years.
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00:09:33,625 --> 00:09:36,125
Norm relax, you aren't being fired,
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you aren't being moved,
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00:09:37,222 --> 00:09:38,121
you're covering the election,
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00:09:38,122 --> 00:09:40,423
but from a different angle.
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00:09:40,421 --> 00:09:43,121
Head office wants every paper in the chain
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00:09:43,119 --> 00:09:45,520
to focus on local candidates
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00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,452
who haven't got a chance
in hell of winning.
220
00:09:49,979 --> 00:09:51,447
Hmm. (Laughter)
221
00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:57,478
I'm sor... (Laughing)
222
00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:02,309
You're joking, right?
223
00:10:02,306 --> 00:10:04,540
This is the elections Canada list
224
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,971
with all the declared
candidates in the region.
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00:10:06,969 --> 00:10:08,468
Pick a riding
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00:10:08,468 --> 00:10:11,937
where the incumbent
has a massive plurality.
227
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:13,465
Have a ball.
228
00:10:15,796 --> 00:10:16,963
(Sighs)
229
00:10:16,963 --> 00:10:18,663
Can I ask who you were a speech writer for?
230
00:10:18,662 --> 00:10:21,962
No, but you may ask for
whom he was a speech writer.
231
00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:23,926
George Quimby.
232
00:10:23,925 --> 00:10:26,393
Ah, Quimby.
233
00:10:26,391 --> 00:10:27,523
You'd rather that than this?
234
00:10:27,523 --> 00:10:30,224
Not quite, I'm running the local campaign.
235
00:10:30,221 --> 00:10:32,454
Oh, who's your candidate?
236
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,449
(Laughter) You?
237
00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:41,148
Running for office?
238
00:10:41,146 --> 00:10:42,946
Against Eric Cameron.
239
00:10:42,945 --> 00:10:44,444
(Laughter)
240
00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:49,811
You're going to be a
laughing stock, McClintock,
241
00:10:49,808 --> 00:10:51,073
you're not going to be
able to show your face
242
00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:52,473
on campus ever again.
243
00:10:52,473 --> 00:10:54,906
Oh, I'm really going to enjoy this,
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00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,037
I really am.
245
00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:57,870
I wish you all the best.
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00:10:57,869 --> 00:11:00,836
(Laughter)
247
00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:02,367
With everything.
248
00:11:07,462 --> 00:11:10,429
You're not going to
listen to that guy, right?
249
00:11:10,426 --> 00:11:12,927
We've still got a deal here, don't we?
250
00:11:12,925 --> 00:11:15,359
Hey, Angus? Angus?
251
00:11:29,459 --> 00:11:32,993
Angus: This is Daniel, your teacher.
252
00:11:32,989 --> 00:11:34,388
Listen, and listen well.
253
00:11:38,484 --> 00:11:41,019
Just the form, your signature on the form.
254
00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:42,350
Angus: Ha ha ha.
255
00:11:46,711 --> 00:11:47,345
Okay.
256
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:57,341
Well, good morning.
257
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,269
Right.
258
00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:08,338
Spelling, grammar, punctuation.
259
00:12:09,031 --> 00:12:10,398
You're probably wondering,
260
00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:12,464
what does that have to do with engineering?
261
00:12:12,462 --> 00:12:15,830
All I need to succeed
is a ruler, a plumb line,
262
00:12:15,827 --> 00:12:17,894
and a keg of beer.
263
00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:19,258
(Chuckles) Because...
264
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:22,256
Joke.
265
00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:24,354
Just out of curiosity,
266
00:12:24,354 --> 00:12:28,256
how many of you would rather not be here?
267
00:12:31,049 --> 00:12:33,250
Let's turn to the syllabus.
268
00:12:36,578 --> 00:12:37,745
Oh crap.
269
00:12:37,746 --> 00:12:40,246
(Class laughs)
270
00:12:46,438 --> 00:12:50,447
So, in order for you to
communicate your ideas clearly,
271
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:55,940
you need a basic understanding
of the rules of grammar.
272
00:12:55,933 --> 00:12:57,266
Two M's in grammar.
273
00:12:58,431 --> 00:13:01,132
Maybe I'm biased... in my line of work,
274
00:13:01,129 --> 00:13:04,898
my former line of work, words were king.
275
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:06,193
You see, once upon a time
276
00:13:07,057 --> 00:13:09,559
I wrote speeches for politicians,
277
00:13:09,557 --> 00:13:12,758
and the words that I wrote
not only had to convey meaning,
278
00:13:12,755 --> 00:13:14,188
but also emotion.
279
00:13:16,185 --> 00:13:18,887
Stanton: And the Media Riser?
280
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,217
What? No, no, no.
281
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:23,518
George Quimby does not use a teleprompter.
282
00:13:23,514 --> 00:13:24,713
Hmm.
283
00:13:24,713 --> 00:13:25,812
That was Penny.
284
00:13:25,813 --> 00:13:27,413
We are all systems go,
285
00:13:27,412 --> 00:13:28,978
it's going to just be you
and a handful of candidates,
286
00:13:28,977 --> 00:13:30,844
white, black, brown, young, old.
287
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,025
- Feeble?
- Feeble.
288
00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,630
What about the woman in the wheelchair,
289
00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:35,129
feeble and female?
290
00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:37,128
Stanton: Nice. Let me give Penny a call.
291
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:41,157
How do you like the speech?
292
00:13:41,157 --> 00:13:44,491
I'm not sure like enters into my response.
293
00:13:44,488 --> 00:13:48,124
I'm not looking for paint
by numbers, I want a Monet.
294
00:13:48,951 --> 00:13:50,785
I want to make an impression.
295
00:13:50,784 --> 00:13:52,818
I'm going to go change.
296
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:55,117
I suggest you do the same.
297
00:13:55,829 --> 00:13:57,529
How about a finger painting?
298
00:13:57,528 --> 00:13:58,694
How bad is it?
299
00:13:58,694 --> 00:14:00,860
Oh, he left almost a whole
sentence un-crossed out.
300
00:14:00,859 --> 00:14:02,559
Well, it's something to build on.
301
00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:03,957
I need a speech writer.
302
00:14:04,988 --> 00:14:06,456
I've got three guys coming in.
303
00:14:06,456 --> 00:14:08,423
(Exasperated sigh)
304
00:14:08,421 --> 00:14:09,853
Oh, hey, Penny,
305
00:14:09,853 --> 00:14:10,952
yeah, the chick in the wheelchair,
306
00:14:10,952 --> 00:14:13,587
what's her twenty? Which coast?
307
00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:15,050
Can we chopper her in?
308
00:14:15,050 --> 00:14:16,350
Be a hell of a visual
if she was in the shot.
309
00:14:16,349 --> 00:14:19,249
So, I've already told
you a lot about myself.
310
00:14:19,247 --> 00:14:22,949
Why don't you write something
about yourself? Selves.
311
00:14:24,409 --> 00:14:25,943
(Phone ringing)
312
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,675
Take fifteen minutes.
313
00:14:28,674 --> 00:14:30,941
What should we write about?
314
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,938
Your biggest mistake.
315
00:14:35,669 --> 00:14:36,868
How's life with Quimby?
316
00:14:36,868 --> 00:14:39,869
Just gearing up for the big speech,
317
00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:42,901
realizing how irreplaceable you are.
318
00:14:42,898 --> 00:14:43,897
Sorry, something wrong with my phone,
319
00:14:43,897 --> 00:14:45,997
sounded like you were flattering me.
320
00:14:45,996 --> 00:14:47,629
I'm just giving credit where it's due.
321
00:14:47,628 --> 00:14:48,960
This stuff ain't easy.
322
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,927
If my landlord heard you say ain't,
323
00:14:50,926 --> 00:14:52,793
you'd be in for a tongue lashing.
324
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:55,692
I could use a good tongue lashing.
325
00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:57,823
Anyway, I was just wondering
326
00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:00,621
about you know your inspiration?
327
00:15:00,619 --> 00:15:02,186
Daniel: My inspiration?
328
00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:05,386
Yeah. How did you come up with
those great lines of yours?
329
00:15:05,383 --> 00:15:06,782
Which great lines,
330
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,113
the ones Bradley liked to punch up?
331
00:15:08,113 --> 00:15:10,281
Everybody knows your first
drafts were always golden.
332
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,712
Come on, spill.
333
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,545
Daniel: Look, Rachel, I already told you,
334
00:15:13,544 --> 00:15:14,409
I'm not coming back,
335
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,811
not even as an advisor.
I'm out of the game.
336
00:15:18,706 --> 00:15:21,208
Not even for old time's sake?
337
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:23,438
Yeah, well it's the old
times I'm trying to forget.
338
00:15:23,436 --> 00:15:24,602
Good luck with it.
339
00:15:24,602 --> 00:15:26,369
- Daniel...
- Daniel: Goodbye, Rachel.
340
00:15:26,368 --> 00:15:28,201
(Beeps phone off)
341
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,002
342
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,199
Come on, where's the damn syllabus?
343
00:15:35,196 --> 00:15:42,401
344
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,790
(Door squeaks open)
345
00:15:50,252 --> 00:15:51,485
(Clears throat)
346
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:54,386
My biggest mistake was
when I was about eleven,
347
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:55,815
I got my bike stole.
348
00:15:57,379 --> 00:15:58,747
Stoled? Stolened.
349
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:04,679
Irregardless, I decided to press on,
350
00:16:04,676 --> 00:16:06,375
sure the river was moving quick,
351
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,308
but so was the light.
352
00:16:08,306 --> 00:16:09,740
Was that a coyote?
353
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,770
Girl: It was not my mistake,
354
00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:15,238
but Ecouliet left me feeling with rage.
355
00:16:15,236 --> 00:16:16,735
(Tense exhale)
356
00:16:18,599 --> 00:16:19,932
Pete: Be that what it will,
357
00:16:19,932 --> 00:16:22,533
maybe I should have followed
the desires of my heart
358
00:16:22,531 --> 00:16:24,864
and gone into political studies.
359
00:16:24,862 --> 00:16:27,730
But hey, life's too short for memories.
360
00:16:28,227 --> 00:16:29,727
(Clapping)
361
00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:33,690
Pete 2: Yo, you killed it.
362
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,691
Okay, good, excellent, excellent.
363
00:16:36,688 --> 00:16:38,588
No. That's a good place to start.
364
00:16:38,587 --> 00:16:41,187
All right, see you next time.
365
00:16:41,184 --> 00:16:42,718
(Phone ringing)
366
00:16:47,046 --> 00:16:48,747
Addison.
367
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:51,647
Yes, Bradley, it's all under control.
368
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,145
Okay? Yeah, I got the signature,
369
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,709
yes I do.
370
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,808
Look, the papers will be in.
371
00:16:58,806 --> 00:17:00,606
Bradley, do you not have
anything better to do
372
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:03,138
than threaten me with a tax assessment?
373
00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:04,869
Fine. Goodbye.
374
00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:07,569
Professor, my name is
Pete, and this is Pete two.
375
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:10,001
Pete two, what like, the second?
376
00:17:09,999 --> 00:17:11,632
Sure.
377
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:13,731
We were just wondering
if you could possibly
378
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:15,630
give us any advice on like
whatever, the election.
379
00:17:17,259 --> 00:17:18,326
The federal election?
380
00:17:18,326 --> 00:17:19,592
Oh, we were totally stoked
381
00:17:19,592 --> 00:17:21,392
when you said that thing in class
382
00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,756
of "I used to write speeches."
383
00:17:22,756 --> 00:17:25,624
We're like, this guy's been there.
384
00:17:26,819 --> 00:17:28,887
We're called the political youth group,
385
00:17:28,886 --> 00:17:31,387
we're trying to overcome
like, student apathy.
386
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:34,619
We have a clubhouse and cards.
387
00:17:34,615 --> 00:17:37,616
Uh, all right. Well um, my office hours
388
00:17:38,511 --> 00:17:40,613
are posted on the door, boys.
389
00:17:41,409 --> 00:17:43,578
Pete: What a douche.
390
00:17:51,484 --> 00:17:54,086
Muriel: But who is he? I've
never heard of Angus Macintosh.
391
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,483
Daniel: McClintock, and
Muriel you should be rejoicing
392
00:17:56,481 --> 00:17:58,681
that I found anyone at all.
393
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,580
I didn't expect you to sign up just anyone.
394
00:18:02,577 --> 00:18:05,711
I was talking to statues at the park.
395
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:10,311
Muriel, nobody, nobody
wanted to take this on,
396
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,306
except the good professor.
397
00:18:12,304 --> 00:18:14,137
What are his policies?
398
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,702
In fact, Muriel,
399
00:18:15,702 --> 00:18:18,836
he won't have anything to say about them.
400
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,767
We're going to run a stealth campaign...
401
00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:22,891
no posters, no lawn signs,
no street and greets,
402
00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:24,522
he won't even attend the
all-candidate meetings.
403
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,589
What kind of a campaign is that?
404
00:18:28,618 --> 00:18:31,587
You see he lost his beloved wife recently.
405
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:34,818
Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that, but...
406
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:39,584
In fact I think you know
her, or know of her, anyway.
407
00:18:41,377 --> 00:18:44,579
Marin Lee? Was his wife?
408
00:18:47,173 --> 00:18:48,573
(Sympathetic exhale)
409
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,600
(Exhales)
410
00:19:02,195 --> 00:19:03,495
I should just tell her,
411
00:19:03,495 --> 00:19:06,697
Muriel don't sign, it's a sham.
412
00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:08,593
But it's come to this, manipulation.
413
00:19:08,592 --> 00:19:11,293
The very thing I've always hated,
414
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:13,524
and now I'm doing it.
415
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,521
(Jerry knocks)
416
00:19:17,552 --> 00:19:21,921
At ease, soldier, just reporting for duty.
417
00:19:21,916 --> 00:19:23,983
I don't think we were properly
introduced the last time.
418
00:19:23,982 --> 00:19:27,951
Oh really, the chokehold isn't
your usual form of greeting?
419
00:19:27,946 --> 00:19:29,045
(Chuckles)
420
00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:30,077
Jerry Stockton.
421
00:19:30,078 --> 00:19:32,445
Daniel Addis-oh, wow,
422
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:35,144
quite a grip you've got there, Jerry.
423
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,007
Jerry was in the war.
424
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:36,940
World War II.
425
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,607
No, Korea.
426
00:19:39,605 --> 00:19:39,670
Face to face with the scourge of communism.
427
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:45,602
See these hands?
428
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,901
They've waited 60 years to kill again.
429
00:19:48,898 --> 00:19:48,963
Muriel: Stop it, Jerry,
you're scaring the boy.
430
00:19:52,462 --> 00:19:54,497
Jerry, if you could just sign right here.
431
00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:59,494
Well, if we need a hundred
people to endorse a nomination,
432
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:00,824
I thought Jerry could be useful.
433
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,056
Mm-hmm.
434
00:20:02,056 --> 00:20:03,923
Consider it done.
435
00:20:03,922 --> 00:20:05,488
(Laughing)
436
00:20:10,683 --> 00:20:11,984
Daniel: They're signing willingly, I hope.
437
00:20:11,984 --> 00:20:14,117
Oh yes, of course.
438
00:20:14,115 --> 00:20:15,214
Oh don't worry dear,
439
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,647
beneath all that bluster
440
00:20:17,645 --> 00:20:20,513
is a man with the gentlest of touches.
441
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,145
We'll have a hundred names before lunch.
442
00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:25,409
Oh, would you like to stay?
443
00:20:25,408 --> 00:20:28,476
Uh, I grabbed a sandwich back on campus.
444
00:20:28,473 --> 00:20:30,405
Besides I need to stop by national HQ
445
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,470
and see if they'll cover the deposit,
446
00:20:32,469 --> 00:20:35,103
oh, and get started on the brochure.
447
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,701
For the stealth campaign.
448
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,433
It's our one concession
to politics, as usual.
449
00:20:39,431 --> 00:20:40,798
So, I'll see you tomorrow then.
450
00:20:40,797 --> 00:20:42,129
Hm-hm.
451
00:20:42,129 --> 00:20:44,029
Hey gran. Linds!
452
00:20:44,028 --> 00:20:45,928
What a lovely surprise.
453
00:20:45,927 --> 00:20:49,027
Lindsay: I thought I'd drop by for lunch.
454
00:20:49,024 --> 00:20:49,756
You're Daniel.
455
00:20:49,757 --> 00:20:51,424
Ya hmm!
456
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,754
Yes, I actually said, ya hmm!
457
00:20:56,752 --> 00:20:58,652
It's because what I meant
to say by way of response
458
00:20:58,651 --> 00:21:03,320
was garbled by the sudden
chemical explosion in my brain.
459
00:21:03,314 --> 00:21:05,414
So, you sure you won't stay for lunch?
460
00:21:05,413 --> 00:21:07,280
Uh, you know what it
actually might make sense
461
00:21:07,279 --> 00:21:10,146
for me to wait until Jerry has, got the,
462
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:10,876
has the finished signatures.
463
00:21:10,877 --> 00:21:13,277
I'm so glad.
464
00:21:13,275 --> 00:21:16,342
And you know, the food is not half-bad.
465
00:21:17,271 --> 00:21:20,206
Okay, so, here is the deal.
466
00:21:20,203 --> 00:21:22,937
We need to stake out three key issues
467
00:21:22,935 --> 00:21:25,102
for our local candidate.
468
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,566
Then I'll run them past him,
469
00:21:26,566 --> 00:21:29,333
and then I'll work them up
into a reasonable facsimile.
470
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,496
Jerry: Here's a local issue.
471
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:34,332
We need longer signals for traffic lights.
472
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,593
Yeah, that's a little too local.
473
00:21:35,593 --> 00:21:38,460
Is it? You tried crossing
at the lights of late?
474
00:21:38,457 --> 00:21:41,091
Those countdowns simply
don't take into account
475
00:21:41,089 --> 00:21:43,089
the fact that some of us,
476
00:21:43,088 --> 00:21:44,521
not me, are slowing down.
477
00:21:44,521 --> 00:21:47,288
I think that's an
excellent proposal, Jerry.
478
00:21:47,285 --> 00:21:50,453
I mean, we could contextualize it, um,
479
00:21:50,450 --> 00:21:54,318
maybe improving street
safety for our aging,
480
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,179
but still ambulatory, population.
481
00:21:56,178 --> 00:21:57,144
Jerry: Who needs an ambulance?
482
00:21:57,145 --> 00:21:59,211
It means you can still walk.
483
00:21:59,209 --> 00:22:02,578
I can do plenty more than walk.
484
00:22:02,575 --> 00:22:05,375
Okay, look, I do appreciate
the help, but the fact is...
485
00:22:05,372 --> 00:22:07,305
Marjorie: What we need is old age security
486
00:22:07,304 --> 00:22:09,471
that stays in line with the cost of living.
487
00:22:09,469 --> 00:22:12,437
That's good, but that's a national issue.
488
00:22:12,435 --> 00:22:13,734
Marjorie: Ah, not to us, it ain't.
489
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:15,500
Donald: Yeah, but aren't
all politics local?
490
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,099
Residents: Yeah. Free transit for seniors.
491
00:22:17,098 --> 00:22:18,364
Discount for the movie shows.
492
00:22:18,364 --> 00:22:20,264
Mandatory visits by grandchildren.
493
00:22:20,263 --> 00:22:22,863
Okay, okay folks, hold it, hold it,
494
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:24,127
hold it, everybody,
495
00:22:24,127 --> 00:22:25,459
I really, I do appreciate the input.
496
00:22:25,459 --> 00:22:27,959
I'm just trying to write a
campaign flyer here, okay?
497
00:22:27,957 --> 00:22:30,257
It's not a democracy.
498
00:22:33,086 --> 00:22:35,321
I look forward to this election
499
00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:38,186
as an opportunity to fight for the Canada
500
00:22:38,183 --> 00:22:40,283
that we all once knew and loved,
501
00:22:40,282 --> 00:22:42,850
a Canada of caring, of compassion.
502
00:22:42,848 --> 00:22:44,247
A Canada for all people
503
00:22:44,246 --> 00:22:46,813
no matter their race, their colour,
504
00:22:46,811 --> 00:22:49,278
or their standing.
505
00:22:49,276 --> 00:22:52,177
And so I say to the Prime Minister,
506
00:22:52,174 --> 00:22:55,042
ma'am, you had an option, sir.
507
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,306
You were elected on your promise
508
00:22:56,305 --> 00:22:58,771
to restore this country's greatness,
509
00:22:58,769 --> 00:23:00,936
but once you got in,
510
00:23:00,935 --> 00:23:03,669
it was goodbye Charlie Brown.
511
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:05,800
And if you don't think that we
can snatch the ball from you,
512
00:23:05,799 --> 00:23:08,165
I say, just watch us.
513
00:23:09,395 --> 00:23:11,663
Thank you. Merci beaucoup. Merci beaucoup.
514
00:23:11,661 --> 00:23:13,160
(Applause)
515
00:23:16,624 --> 00:23:18,624
Always working?
516
00:23:18,623 --> 00:23:20,156
Oh, no, no.
517
00:23:22,087 --> 00:23:25,155
Oh there's my bus, see ya.
518
00:23:26,550 --> 00:23:30,653
519
00:23:30,648 --> 00:23:32,915
Lindsay: Gran asked me to
update the list for you.
520
00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:34,313
Daniel: The list?
521
00:23:34,313 --> 00:23:37,046
She asked me to update
the canvassing schedule
522
00:23:37,044 --> 00:23:38,410
and the list of priority posts.
523
00:23:38,409 --> 00:23:39,642
Oh.
524
00:23:39,642 --> 00:23:41,509
I helped her out doing
her last campaign, so.
525
00:23:41,508 --> 00:23:45,142
Oh, that's great because we
can use all the help we can get.
526
00:23:49,368 --> 00:23:52,703
Stop announcement: Next
stop, Subach Street.
527
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:53,732
(Stop request dings)
528
00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:55,699
Oh, well, this is me.
529
00:23:55,698 --> 00:23:56,797
- Here?
- Yeah.
530
00:23:56,797 --> 00:23:58,630
Daniel: There you go.
531
00:23:58,629 --> 00:23:59,963
- Sorry.
- Whoa.
532
00:23:59,963 --> 00:24:01,929
Are you going to be at school tomorrow,
533
00:24:01,928 --> 00:24:04,262
because I can drop it off, the list?
534
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:06,760
Oh, no, you don't have to
come all the way out there.
535
00:24:06,758 --> 00:24:08,925
- I go to U of O.
- Oh.
536
00:24:08,923 --> 00:24:11,022
I'm doing an M.A. in kinesiology.
537
00:24:11,021 --> 00:24:13,355
I guess gran didn't mention that either.
538
00:24:13,353 --> 00:24:14,018
No.
539
00:24:15,484 --> 00:24:16,016
Okay, well, bye.
540
00:24:18,615 --> 00:24:20,015
(Laughs) Bye.
541
00:24:25,110 --> 00:24:29,013
Kinesiology, study of
the body in motion. Uh...
542
00:24:37,536 --> 00:24:38,002
(Crows caw)
543
00:24:41,434 --> 00:24:41,999
(Knocking)
544
00:24:42,832 --> 00:24:44,999
Hey. Ooh! What is this?
545
00:24:47,962 --> 00:24:49,797
I'll tell you when you're older.
546
00:24:49,796 --> 00:24:53,431
How was the first day of class?
547
00:24:53,427 --> 00:24:54,426
Fascinating.
548
00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:55,991
I guess so,
549
00:24:55,991 --> 00:24:58,558
seeing as how you must have had to wing it.
550
00:24:58,555 --> 00:25:00,488
Where did the... Oh.
551
00:25:00,487 --> 00:25:02,054
A janitor found it.
552
00:25:02,054 --> 00:25:05,923
Glad you think so highly
of my accumulated wisdom.
553
00:25:05,918 --> 00:25:07,884
Honest mistake. I was distracted.
554
00:25:07,883 --> 00:25:11,184
I'll take better care of it.
555
00:25:11,181 --> 00:25:13,648
Now, look I wanted to go
over some points with you
556
00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:15,413
for the campaign brochure.
557
00:25:15,412 --> 00:25:16,711
Not interested.
558
00:25:16,711 --> 00:25:19,278
It'll only take a minute.
559
00:25:19,275 --> 00:25:22,810
It's already taken more time
than I'm willing to give.
560
00:25:22,807 --> 00:25:24,940
Or have you forgotten our agreement?
561
00:25:24,938 --> 00:25:27,472
Uh, no, no, I haven't. Have you?
562
00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:28,936
Leave it there, lad.
563
00:25:41,260 --> 00:25:41,926
(Sighs)
564
00:25:44,823 --> 00:25:48,459
It's a water purification system,
565
00:25:48,455 --> 00:25:49,921
my wife's idea.
566
00:25:51,086 --> 00:25:54,489
The water in northern
communities is a disgrace...
567
00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:56,519
full of contaminants,
568
00:25:56,517 --> 00:25:58,851
especially on reserves.
569
00:26:00,447 --> 00:26:02,849
The shame of the nation.
570
00:26:02,847 --> 00:26:05,513
I'm drawing water from the ottawa river,
571
00:26:05,510 --> 00:26:08,544
cleaning it with this baby.
572
00:26:08,541 --> 00:26:10,541
That's the idea, anyway.
573
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:12,274
Wow, Angus, that's...
574
00:26:12,273 --> 00:26:14,974
I mean...
575
00:26:14,972 --> 00:26:17,438
Can... can we use this
in the campaign brochure?
576
00:26:17,436 --> 00:26:20,671
Not on your bloody life.
577
00:26:20,667 --> 00:26:21,899
I'll not have this work sullied
578
00:26:21,899 --> 00:26:25,934
by being turned into a
cheap tactic to win votes.
579
00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:28,832
No, of course not, I didn't mean to...
580
00:26:30,327 --> 00:26:32,294
I'm sorry.
581
00:26:32,292 --> 00:26:34,226
The binder.
582
00:26:34,225 --> 00:26:47,802
583
00:26:51,327 --> 00:26:52,594
Thousand dollars,
584
00:26:52,594 --> 00:26:55,628
that's one comma zero zero z... I'm sorry?
585
00:26:55,625 --> 00:26:57,125
Well, who can authorize it then?
586
00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:58,491
(Knocking)
587
00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:01,691
Uh-huh? And when will he be in?
588
00:27:01,688 --> 00:27:03,321
Fine, I'll drop by in an hour then.
589
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,686
Thank you. Come in!
590
00:27:06,017 --> 00:27:07,251
Hey.
591
00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:08,551
Hey, Lindsay, hi.
592
00:27:08,551 --> 00:27:10,016
I'm just about to go for a run,
593
00:27:10,015 --> 00:27:12,550
but I thought I'd drop off
the canvassing schedule.
594
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,682
The can... yes, perfect, yes, yes, yes.
595
00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:21,080
Wow, that's a lot of ground to cover.
596
00:27:21,075 --> 00:27:24,241
Any chance you want to come knock
on a few doors with me or... ?
597
00:27:24,238 --> 00:27:25,471
I would, honestly,
598
00:27:25,471 --> 00:27:26,336
but if I don't get in fifteen miles today,
599
00:27:26,426 --> 00:27:27,492
I'm totally screwed.
600
00:27:27,493 --> 00:27:30,194
Yeah, you and me both, kiddo.
601
00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:31,824
(Chuckles)
602
00:27:31,823 --> 00:27:33,389
Um, but I would really like to help out,
603
00:27:33,389 --> 00:27:34,555
so another time, okay?
604
00:27:34,555 --> 00:27:37,156
Yeah, for sure. Enjoy your run.
605
00:27:37,154 --> 00:27:38,754
Thanks.
606
00:27:40,183 --> 00:27:41,751
Uh, kiddo?
607
00:27:44,147 --> 00:27:49,785
608
00:27:49,843 --> 00:27:52,444
Pete: Hey dude, these are heavy.
609
00:27:52,442 --> 00:27:55,376
Hey, you guys said you wanted to
overcome student apathy, right,
610
00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:56,238
you're almost there!
611
00:27:56,238 --> 00:27:58,172
(Phone ringing)
612
00:27:58,171 --> 00:27:59,003
Oh crap.
613
00:27:59,004 --> 00:28:01,237
Hey, pick them up, please.
614
00:28:01,235 --> 00:28:02,768
Daniel Addison?
615
00:28:03,833 --> 00:28:05,500
Uh, is this the McClintock campaign?
616
00:28:05,499 --> 00:28:06,832
Uh huh, who's this?
617
00:28:06,832 --> 00:28:08,498
Norm: Norm Fontana, Ottawa Tribune.
618
00:28:08,497 --> 00:28:10,764
Is this the Daniel Addison,
619
00:28:10,762 --> 00:28:12,461
ace speech writer for George Quimby?
620
00:28:12,461 --> 00:28:14,161
And what can I do for you?
621
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,593
Norm: I'd like to snag a one on one.
622
00:28:15,593 --> 00:28:17,793
Uh yeah, I can't right now.
623
00:28:17,791 --> 00:28:19,591
Norm: With the candidate, son.
624
00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:21,423
Right, yeah, the thing is...
625
00:28:21,422 --> 00:28:22,521
Norm look, um...
626
00:28:22,521 --> 00:28:25,155
Let me put it straight to you.
627
00:28:25,153 --> 00:28:28,655
Chain's running a series
called "Can't win candidates"
628
00:28:28,651 --> 00:28:30,750
and your boy's the local feature.
629
00:28:32,679 --> 00:28:33,813
Wait a second you're, sorry,
630
00:28:33,814 --> 00:28:35,647
you're suggesting running an article
631
00:28:35,646 --> 00:28:37,780
in the first week of the campaign
632
00:28:37,778 --> 00:28:40,478
about how my guy is basically unelectable?
633
00:28:40,476 --> 00:28:42,943
He is basically unelectable.
634
00:28:42,941 --> 00:28:46,609
Suppose we let the
electorate decide that, okay?
635
00:28:46,605 --> 00:28:48,204
He's not doing any interviews.
636
00:28:48,203 --> 00:28:49,737
Come on, buddy,
637
00:28:49,736 --> 00:28:50,568
I'm going to give your guy press
638
00:28:50,569 --> 00:28:52,902
he can show his grandchildren
639
00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:54,700
about what a decent,
upstanding citizen he was,
640
00:28:54,699 --> 00:28:56,899
and how he took one for the team.
641
00:28:56,898 --> 00:29:00,667
He doesn't have
grandchildren, so, thank you.
642
00:29:00,662 --> 00:29:02,828
Why am I even arguing with this guy?
643
00:29:02,827 --> 00:29:05,661
Angus wants to lose,
and I want Angus to lose.
644
00:29:07,689 --> 00:29:09,423
I really hope he didn't hear that.
645
00:29:09,422 --> 00:29:10,856
Guys let's go, let's go,
646
00:29:10,856 --> 00:29:12,321
I gotta to stop by the
national campaign office
647
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,054
to pick up a cheque.
648
00:29:14,053 --> 00:29:25,828
649
00:29:25,856 --> 00:29:27,055
I couldn't help it, dude,
it was a great episode.
650
00:29:27,055 --> 00:29:28,689
Nice.
651
00:29:30,353 --> 00:29:32,755
Hey, what's in the box?
652
00:29:32,753 --> 00:29:34,452
Well, that's kind of a funny story,
653
00:29:34,451 --> 00:29:36,684
you see the national campaign
654
00:29:36,682 --> 00:29:37,714
they won't put up the thou we need
655
00:29:37,714 --> 00:29:40,849
to file Angus' nomination papers.
656
00:29:40,846 --> 00:29:43,380
They were able to offer
us a free box of t-shirts,
657
00:29:43,378 --> 00:29:45,645
with a slight imperfection.
658
00:29:50,173 --> 00:29:50,639
Who's Chang?
659
00:29:58,833 --> 00:30:01,636
Pete: How did they get
the signs up so fast?
660
00:30:03,064 --> 00:30:04,365
Daniel: They probably
kept them in the garage
661
00:30:04,365 --> 00:30:07,098
since the last election.
662
00:30:07,095 --> 00:30:08,628
(Rings doorbell)
663
00:30:10,959 --> 00:30:13,460
Hi, I'm Daniel Addison,
and I'm here on behalf of...
664
00:30:13,458 --> 00:30:15,091
(door slams) Okay.
665
00:30:15,090 --> 00:30:16,623
(Rings doorbell)
666
00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:21,552
- Hi, I'm...
- The devil!
667
00:30:21,552 --> 00:30:23,219
Okay, P one, you take the evens,
668
00:30:23,219 --> 00:30:25,885
P two you take the odds.
669
00:30:25,882 --> 00:30:27,249
You couldn't possibly
do worse than I just did.
670
00:30:27,249 --> 00:30:29,415
Okay, but what if they want
to talk to the candidate.
671
00:30:29,413 --> 00:30:32,615
Uh, you just make something up.
672
00:30:32,612 --> 00:30:34,978
You wish to speak to the candidate?
673
00:30:34,976 --> 00:30:36,776
Oh bummer, he just went into
the house up the street there,
674
00:30:36,775 --> 00:30:40,577
but I could totally see
if he could drop by later.
675
00:30:40,573 --> 00:30:42,439
Yo, may I interest you in this awesome...
676
00:30:42,438 --> 00:30:44,571
(dog growling, barks) Ah!
677
00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:46,403
Hi, and good afternoon to you sir.
678
00:30:46,402 --> 00:30:48,136
How are you this fine afternoon?
679
00:30:48,135 --> 00:30:49,634
I'm good.
680
00:30:50,165 --> 00:30:52,767
Okay, doggy.
681
00:30:52,765 --> 00:30:54,631
I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it.
682
00:30:54,630 --> 00:30:57,031
(Dog barking) You do it! You do it!
683
00:30:57,029 --> 00:31:00,029
Ow! Okay, okay.
684
00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:01,559
(Chatter, music)
685
00:31:05,507 --> 00:31:07,174
Pete: Dude, how can you eat?
686
00:31:07,173 --> 00:31:08,506
Daniel: Hmm?
687
00:31:08,506 --> 00:31:09,405
Pete: That was like, wrong.
688
00:31:09,406 --> 00:31:11,706
Daniel: Oh, au contraire.
689
00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:14,570
Guys, you know the party
has never taken more
690
00:31:14,567 --> 00:31:17,202
than one half of one percent of the vote
691
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,199
in this polling area,
692
00:31:18,199 --> 00:31:19,265
and look at you guys,
693
00:31:19,266 --> 00:31:20,665
you guys found someone
694
00:31:20,664 --> 00:31:22,597
who said she would
consider voting for Angus.
695
00:31:22,596 --> 00:31:25,563
One person liked the sound of his name.
696
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,695
Little acorns, my friends, little acorns.
697
00:31:28,692 --> 00:31:31,993
Oh, Daniel, dude, meeting voters sucks.
698
00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:33,089
Yeah.
699
00:31:33,089 --> 00:31:35,790
Okay, we need to totally
social network it up.
700
00:31:35,787 --> 00:31:38,454
Bro, yo! Pete's dad got
him 7D for christmas, man,
701
00:31:38,452 --> 00:31:40,519
- this thing is awesome.
- Awesome.
702
00:31:40,518 --> 00:31:42,184
Yo, we could put together some videos,
703
00:31:42,183 --> 00:31:45,084
post them on Youtube.
704
00:31:45,081 --> 00:31:46,648
Yes! Yeah! Agh!
705
00:31:46,647 --> 00:31:48,012
Daniel: But we won't, we won't, we won't,
706
00:31:48,012 --> 00:31:49,945
because as I explained
we're going low-fi, right?
707
00:31:49,944 --> 00:31:53,512
No viral videos, no plugs,
no pokes, no tweets, no likes.
708
00:31:53,508 --> 00:31:55,541
Dude, are you trying to lose?
709
00:31:58,781 --> 00:32:00,981
(Footsteps)
710
00:32:03,643 --> 00:32:04,977
Daniel: Week one is coming to an end.
711
00:32:04,976 --> 00:32:07,942
The campaign is off
and running and so am I.
712
00:32:07,939 --> 00:32:09,172
(Shoes shuffling)
713
00:32:09,172 --> 00:32:11,506
I know what you're thinking,
714
00:32:11,505 --> 00:32:14,839
I'm trying to ingratiate
myself with Lindsay.
715
00:32:14,835 --> 00:32:16,469
No, no, no, no,
716
00:32:16,468 --> 00:32:20,154
see, she just reminded me, that's all.
717
00:32:21,330 --> 00:32:24,265
I used to run, I used to be active,
718
00:32:24,263 --> 00:32:26,363
before I became 24-7 policy walk.
719
00:32:28,325 --> 00:32:30,360
Well, I walk no more, my life is mine.
720
00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:33,957
Huh?
721
00:32:33,957 --> 00:32:35,356
Agh! I'm okay.
722
00:32:37,953 --> 00:32:39,353
(Wheezing, snoring)
723
00:32:47,713 --> 00:32:49,347
Water!
724
00:32:51,210 --> 00:32:53,478
(Groans) Scare easily, do ya?
725
00:32:53,477 --> 00:32:56,745
Sorry, I didn't see you in my apartment.
726
00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:58,273
Here, go ahead.
727
00:33:00,503 --> 00:33:02,772
This isn't from your
rube goldberg tap, is it?
728
00:33:02,770 --> 00:33:04,136
Oh no, laddie,
729
00:33:04,136 --> 00:33:05,869
I'm a long way from finishing it.
730
00:33:05,868 --> 00:33:08,501
I'd explain, but...
731
00:33:08,499 --> 00:33:11,601
Well, you don't want to
hear me discuss flocculation.
732
00:33:11,598 --> 00:33:13,264
Cheers.
733
00:33:14,461 --> 00:33:19,231
I, I came up here to talk
to you about the campaign.
734
00:33:19,225 --> 00:33:20,457
Is that what we're calling it?
735
00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:24,826
There's a wellspring of
support for me on campus.
736
00:33:24,821 --> 00:33:26,087
I'm listening.
737
00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:27,320
Both the board of governors
and the faculty association
738
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,887
passed motions yesterday
supporting my candidacy.
739
00:33:30,883 --> 00:33:31,782
It's a formality.
740
00:33:31,783 --> 00:33:34,250
Well, yeah, perhaps.
741
00:33:36,278 --> 00:33:39,147
But yesterday I was
cornered in the campus pub
742
00:33:39,145 --> 00:33:41,846
by a young woman from the student paper
743
00:33:41,843 --> 00:33:44,143
demanding an interview.
744
00:33:44,141 --> 00:33:45,340
You didn't give her one, did you?
745
00:33:45,340 --> 00:33:48,241
I'd had a few beers and
was feeling expansive.
746
00:33:50,868 --> 00:33:52,736
How expansive, Angus?
747
00:33:52,735 --> 00:33:54,134
I cannot recall,
748
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:57,767
but I'm sure it's going
to be the most fulsome
749
00:33:57,765 --> 00:33:59,465
puff piece ever written.
750
00:33:59,464 --> 00:34:00,930
Oh.
751
00:34:00,930 --> 00:34:02,863
My candidacy will gain a profile
752
00:34:02,862 --> 00:34:06,064
it was never intended to have.
753
00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:10,028
Now I admit it was wrong of me to speak,
754
00:34:10,024 --> 00:34:10,756
but it's up to you as my manager
755
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:12,891
to do something about it.
756
00:34:12,889 --> 00:34:14,855
What is it you think I can do?
757
00:34:14,854 --> 00:34:17,121
Well, that's your business.
758
00:34:17,785 --> 00:34:20,119
I've not yet signed.
759
00:34:21,716 --> 00:34:24,016
Oh. That's low.
760
00:34:24,014 --> 00:34:26,348
I knew you'd understand, laddie.
761
00:34:26,346 --> 00:34:30,267
Huh, glad you enjoyed a
taste of the Ottawa River.
762
00:34:30,576 --> 00:34:32,544
(Spitting water)
763
00:34:32,543 --> 00:34:33,107
(Chuckles)
764
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,107
(Groans)
765
00:34:38,437 --> 00:34:40,104
(Sniffs)
766
00:34:41,568 --> 00:34:43,169
(Beeps phone on)
767
00:34:43,168 --> 00:34:46,102
(Practicing) Hey, hey, it's Daniel.
768
00:34:46,099 --> 00:34:47,098
Hi! Hi, it's me, it's Daniel.
769
00:34:48,697 --> 00:34:50,865
Ah, is this a good time?
770
00:34:50,864 --> 00:34:53,164
I really appreciate this.
771
00:34:53,162 --> 00:34:54,695
Lindsay: I'm glad you called.
772
00:34:54,694 --> 00:34:55,793
I felt like a complete wuss
773
00:34:55,793 --> 00:34:58,059
when I couldn't help you out the other day.
774
00:34:58,058 --> 00:35:00,359
Well, you had your run to do, right?
775
00:35:00,357 --> 00:35:02,190
By the way, I was wondering
if I could maybe get some
776
00:35:02,189 --> 00:35:05,457
tips from you, some
like, some running tips?
777
00:35:05,454 --> 00:35:08,255
You run?
778
00:35:08,252 --> 00:35:11,553
Well, I don't know if
I call myself a runner,
779
00:35:11,550 --> 00:35:13,049
per se, but...
780
00:35:14,479 --> 00:35:16,648
Show time.
781
00:35:16,646 --> 00:35:18,045
(Truck rumbles off)
782
00:35:20,509 --> 00:35:21,042
(Door slams)
783
00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:36,033
Easy peasy.
784
00:35:36,964 --> 00:35:38,865
Well hurry, he's getting away.
785
00:35:38,864 --> 00:35:41,031
(Starts engine and rumbles off)
786
00:35:42,428 --> 00:35:55,606
787
00:35:55,586 --> 00:35:57,620
Lindsay: Now what?
788
00:35:57,619 --> 00:35:59,318
- Thank you.
- Lucky.
789
00:35:59,317 --> 00:35:59,949
Okay.
790
00:36:04,279 --> 00:36:05,613
(Groans)
791
00:36:05,613 --> 00:36:06,378
Huh, oh, very nice.
792
00:36:06,378 --> 00:36:07,944
(Chuckles)
793
00:36:16,405 --> 00:36:17,738
Listen to this,
794
00:36:17,738 --> 00:36:19,137
"every candidate in this country
795
00:36:19,136 --> 00:36:22,071
should be thinking first
about the national interest,
796
00:36:22,069 --> 00:36:23,935
second, about their constituents' interest,
797
00:36:23,934 --> 00:36:25,533
and third, about their own interest."
798
00:36:25,532 --> 00:36:26,966
This is good stuff.
799
00:36:26,966 --> 00:36:27,931
I thought you'd said you'd already it.
800
00:36:27,931 --> 00:36:32,300
You said it was full of factual errors.
801
00:36:32,295 --> 00:36:34,028
It is!
802
00:36:34,027 --> 00:36:35,426
And that's why it's such a shame
803
00:36:35,426 --> 00:36:37,926
we've got to throw the
baby out with the bathwater.
804
00:36:42,154 --> 00:36:44,956
Of course I would rather be
lying with her than to her.
805
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,953
How can I look into those dreamy eyes
806
00:36:46,952 --> 00:36:50,187
that seem to change colour with the light,
807
00:36:50,183 --> 00:36:51,415
and tell her that I'm
running a dummy campaign.
808
00:36:51,415 --> 00:36:52,914
The only reason we're
destroying these papers
809
00:36:52,914 --> 00:36:54,847
because it makes our guy look good.
810
00:36:54,846 --> 00:36:56,980
No, no! It doesn't make any sense,
811
00:36:56,978 --> 00:36:59,812
but at the moment nothing
in my life really does.
812
00:37:03,606 --> 00:37:06,240
And that's the last of them.
813
00:37:06,238 --> 00:37:07,805
All right.
814
00:37:09,469 --> 00:37:11,803
(Raccoons squeaking)
815
00:37:15,265 --> 00:37:15,797
Oh! Oh! Oh!
816
00:37:17,464 --> 00:37:18,797
Is that a? Uh...
817
00:37:20,429 --> 00:37:21,795
(Raccoons chitter)
818
00:37:23,260 --> 00:37:26,361
Let's just say we don't
find out, let's go. Okay.
819
00:37:26,358 --> 00:37:27,490
The look on your face.
820
00:37:27,490 --> 00:37:30,692
My face? Your face!
821
00:37:30,689 --> 00:37:32,488
Oh my god, it was probably just a rat.
822
00:37:32,487 --> 00:37:34,588
Uh, rats are scary, okay?
823
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:35,852
Fearsome, I should know,
824
00:37:35,852 --> 00:37:38,419
I spent years writing speeches for them.
825
00:37:38,417 --> 00:37:39,783
Oh. (Chuckles)
826
00:37:44,246 --> 00:37:46,613
I should go.
827
00:37:46,611 --> 00:37:48,245
Hey, thank you for helping.
828
00:37:48,244 --> 00:37:49,776
Yeah, any time.
829
00:37:49,775 --> 00:37:54,711
And hey, thanks for including gran in this.
830
00:37:55,638 --> 00:37:57,872
No thanks required, really.
831
00:37:57,870 --> 00:38:00,871
I don't think you know
how much it means to her.
832
00:38:00,868 --> 00:38:05,004
Everybody had written her
off, taken her for granted,
833
00:38:04,999 --> 00:38:08,567
then along comes this hotshot
from the leader's office,
834
00:38:08,564 --> 00:38:12,165
asking her advice, counting on her.
835
00:38:12,161 --> 00:38:12,727
So thanks.
836
00:38:14,158 --> 00:38:15,358
Lindsay...
837
00:38:15,358 --> 00:38:18,559
No, no, you don't have
to say anything in return.
838
00:38:18,556 --> 00:38:21,724
In fact, I'd kind of prefer it
839
00:38:21,721 --> 00:38:24,722
if you kept your lips
together for a second.
840
00:38:27,183 --> 00:38:27,716
(Phone ringing)
841
00:38:31,279 --> 00:38:32,480
You're a busy man.
842
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:33,779
I'm... I'm not that busy.
843
00:38:33,779 --> 00:38:36,179
I have a big run in the
morning, so, good night.
844
00:38:36,177 --> 00:38:36,710
Good night. Ah!
845
00:38:39,174 --> 00:38:40,709
(Phone ringing)
846
00:38:47,036 --> 00:38:48,703
Addison.
847
00:38:48,703 --> 00:38:50,036
I'm going to cut you in two, Addison,
848
00:38:50,035 --> 00:38:52,969
I'm going to remove your
organs without anaesthetic,
849
00:38:52,967 --> 00:38:54,733
and I'm going to leave
them for the birds to pluck.
850
00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:55,865
And then, I'm going to kill the birds
851
00:38:55,865 --> 00:38:59,233
and serve them to your mother for dinner.
852
00:38:59,229 --> 00:39:00,272
My mother is vegan.
853
00:39:00,392 --> 00:39:02,661
Stanton: Who the hell told you to
let your guy loose like that, hmm?
854
00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:05,260
Dissing the policies of his own party?
855
00:39:05,257 --> 00:39:06,824
And what is this crap
856
00:39:06,824 --> 00:39:09,391
about serving the interest
of the country first?
857
00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:10,522
You read a student newspaper?
858
00:39:10,522 --> 00:39:13,623
Voters vote for local issues.
859
00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:16,185
Yeah, I think what he meant to say...
860
00:39:16,184 --> 00:39:19,953
Stanton: I don't care what he
was trying to say, he said it.
861
00:39:19,949 --> 00:39:23,283
And the next time he spews
that kind of idealistic garbage,
862
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,946
it's on your head.
863
00:39:24,945 --> 00:39:28,646
I don't know what rock you
found this bagpiper under,
864
00:39:28,642 --> 00:39:31,710
but you stuff him back under that rock
865
00:39:31,707 --> 00:39:35,276
until every last ballot
is counted, recounted,
866
00:39:35,272 --> 00:39:37,104
and sealed! Capisce?
867
00:39:37,103 --> 00:39:38,603
Sure, capisce.
868
00:39:47,096 --> 00:39:47,596
(Car rumbles)
869
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:54,557
(Door slams)
870
00:39:59,255 --> 00:40:01,556
(Sighs) Angus. Angus!
871
00:40:05,151 --> 00:40:05,883
It's in your room.
872
00:40:05,884 --> 00:40:06,716
What is?
873
00:40:06,716 --> 00:40:07,816
Angus: The binder.
874
00:40:07,816 --> 00:40:09,849
It was turned in by a
parking lot attendant.
875
00:40:09,848 --> 00:40:13,049
I don't think you're taking
our deal very seriously.
876
00:40:13,046 --> 00:40:14,913
Oh I am, I am,
877
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:18,246
that is why I have come for
the nomination papers, signed.
878
00:40:18,242 --> 00:40:19,775
Haven't got to it yet.
879
00:40:19,775 --> 00:40:21,308
Daniel: Well, then you'll get to it now,
880
00:40:21,307 --> 00:40:22,640
because I just got yelled at,
881
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,240
and I don't like getting yelled at, Angus.
882
00:40:25,238 --> 00:40:26,603
We made a deal, okay?
883
00:40:26,603 --> 00:40:28,370
You stand for election,
I stand for your class,
884
00:40:28,369 --> 00:40:30,536
we both win, right? Wrong!
885
00:40:31,865 --> 00:40:33,300
Because not only am I not
winning, I am losing here.
886
00:40:33,300 --> 00:40:34,265
And you know what I am losing?
887
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:37,466
I am losing my self-respect.
888
00:40:37,463 --> 00:40:39,297
I manipulated a sweet, old woman
889
00:40:39,296 --> 00:40:42,230
into backing your nomination,
890
00:40:42,227 --> 00:40:44,527
and lied to her wonderful,
891
00:40:47,422 --> 00:40:50,524
trusting, beautiful granddaughter.
892
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:55,352
Just sign the damn forms
893
00:40:55,350 --> 00:40:56,483
so we can get on with the business
894
00:40:56,483 --> 00:40:58,950
of losing this damn election. Okay?
895
00:40:58,948 --> 00:41:00,480
(Water splashes)
896
00:41:03,810 --> 00:41:05,044
Clothes!
897
00:41:05,044 --> 00:41:07,444
Have you never seen
another man naked before?
898
00:41:07,442 --> 00:41:10,377
Not one who has a key to my room.
899
00:41:10,375 --> 00:41:13,475
You could use a dip yourself.
900
00:41:18,801 --> 00:41:20,468
(Sighs)
901
00:41:23,963 --> 00:41:25,464
There you are.
902
00:41:28,595 --> 00:41:32,030
Only you haven't convinced
me you want to lose.
903
00:41:32,026 --> 00:41:33,058
Oh but I do, I do.
904
00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:36,093
I want to lose big.
905
00:41:36,090 --> 00:41:37,089
I want to be trounced,
906
00:41:37,090 --> 00:41:39,056
I want to be buried in a landslide,
907
00:41:39,054 --> 00:41:40,587
I want to be humiliated.
908
00:41:40,587 --> 00:41:43,821
Me thinks the laddie doth protest too much.
909
00:41:43,818 --> 00:41:47,653
If you really wanted
to be out, you'd be out.
910
00:41:47,648 --> 00:41:50,916
But I could see it the
night we struck our wee deal,
911
00:41:50,913 --> 00:41:52,279
you love it.
912
00:41:52,279 --> 00:41:55,013
It's in your blood, lad,
913
00:41:55,010 --> 00:41:58,379
it courses through you like
the river cuts through the land.
914
00:42:03,004 --> 00:42:04,372
I'm sorry. I uh...
915
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,534
we shouldn't have made this deal.
916
00:42:10,533 --> 00:42:13,368
No, I'm not sure marin would have approved.
917
00:42:15,463 --> 00:42:18,365
She had no love for
politics, or politicians.
918
00:42:20,093 --> 00:42:23,027
She put her faith in action,
919
00:42:23,024 --> 00:42:24,358
like the work I'm doing.
920
00:42:26,155 --> 00:42:27,356
The song. Her favourite.
921
00:42:28,687 --> 00:42:30,355
Hmm.
922
00:42:35,282 --> 00:42:39,552
Angus, if you want to back out...
923
00:42:39,547 --> 00:42:42,715
I've never backed out of
a thing in my life, laddie.
924
00:42:42,712 --> 00:42:44,278
Okay.
925
00:42:44,277 --> 00:42:47,511
Okay, well then from here on in,
926
00:42:47,508 --> 00:42:50,443
no more interviews, no
more anything, really.
927
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,341
And four weeks from
now, this'll all be over.
928
00:42:53,338 --> 00:42:56,271
You will have lost, I will have won,
929
00:42:56,268 --> 00:42:59,603
and we can both get on with our lives.
930
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,233
Okay.
931
00:43:05,459 --> 00:43:07,059
(Heavy sigh)
932
00:43:07,574 --> 00:43:09,975
(Grunts)
933
00:43:09,977 --> 00:43:12,244
(Glass clinks, liquid pours)
934
00:43:15,849 --> 00:43:18,249
(Emotional breaths)
935
00:43:18,321 --> 00:43:21,688
My friends, Canada.
936
00:43:21,690 --> 00:43:22,823
Announcer: Next Monday...
937
00:43:22,825 --> 00:43:24,725
Stand on guard for thee!
938
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:25,759
Hut hut!
939
00:43:25,761 --> 00:43:26,994
Ow.
940
00:43:26,996 --> 00:43:28,062
Woo hoo hoo!
941
00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:30,864
Announcer: The Best Laid Plans.
942
00:43:30,866 --> 00:43:31,865
Welcome to the monkey cage.
943
00:43:31,867 --> 00:43:34,668
Announcer: Next Monday at 9:00 on CBC.
944
00:43:34,669 --> 00:43:35,669
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
945
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:40,269
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