Original subtitles

[RuPaul] Previously on All Stars...

For this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be making over your Best Judy.

[screaming]

Family resemblance required.

[cheering]

[Manila] It's my husband.

[gasps] I love it.

Oh! No, it's good.

Everything you've brought so far has been so elaborate,

and this is just a little costume shop for me.

You know, Latrice, there's a disconnect

with family resemblance.

That is two different looks. It really is.

Monét X Change...

Naomi Smalls... Con-drag-ulations.

You are the top two All Stars of the week.

The Best Judys find themselves in the bottom.

[Latrice] I love Manila,

But if it comes down to--

I'm not about to sacrifice myself

and say, oh, let me go home. You stay.

Girl, please.

This is Manila's first time in the bottom two.

[Naomi] Seriously, I love you so much

and I look up to you so much.

Naomi Smalls,

which queen have you chosen to get the chop?

Manila.

Oh!

Manila Luzon, sashay away.

Oh, my God.

Oh, we love and miss Manila already.

"Driver, kill it. See you out there."

Manila.

Manila just went home, girl. The choppery.

She had three wins under belt. Chopped.

That is a gag. Ha!

The goop.

And I'm living for it.

Tens across the board. Tens.

That was wild.

-It was. It was a bitch. -[Monique] The goop.

I feel guilty,

'cause she was like in the bottom.

That was her first time ever in the bottom,

so that must be a gag feeling, but...

Why don't you erase this and we can talk about it.

-Got it. -Yeah, quickly.

Clearly this is your first time, honey.

I'm a rookie.

Lean into it. There you go.

Aah!

I have been giving my all this entire time,

and it feels good to finally prove I am a threat

and I can do more than turn a look.

I am such a good performer.

Honestly, I really am.

-Okay, I just got to just get it all out.

-Just get it out. -Get it out, bitch.

First of all, I am like--I'm gagged

-that Manila is gone. -[Monique] The goopery.

Like I was like this bitch

was her first time in the bottom,

and she'd won the most challenges.

The goop. No, bitch, we were...

[Monét laughs]

Manila deserves to be in the competition,

like so far to the end.

According to her track record.

Her track record.

Girl, I'm just gagged.

I definitely think that up until now

the eliminations have been pretty fair.

But now it's all out the window.

I mean, girl, Manila just got ran over, bitch.

I just gotta get comfortable.

[Naomi] Let's get serious.

Okay, shady princess.

Like what was your reasoning?

[Naomi] I think a lot of different reasons.

Yes, Manila has been doing so well in the competition,

but I don't know if she necessarily had my back.

I sent Manila home because..

I wanted to.

Manila was crazy competition,

and that's dope, but...

I decided to save Latrice 'cause I owe it to her.

She saved my ass last week.

If it looks shady, so be it.

I have a close relationship with you, so I chose you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I love you, too.

How do you feel about Manila going home

when she was a wreck because she couldn't save you?

And, bitch, we mean a wreck. She was sobbing.

Girl.

Sashay away.

Thank y'all.

[applause]

[sobs]

I mean, like...

You wanna win, bitch. Fuck that. Say it.

-No, I-- -Say that.

But I really, really saw her here with me

through to the end, you know what I mean?

It comes down to someone has to go,

and if it's me or her, like, you know,

of course I want to stay.

My love has never wavered for her.

I just-- We can't have it both ways.

I want to know who Monét picked.

Yes, bitch. It's tax season. Show the receipts.

I chose Manila's ass, too.

[all laugh and scream]

Wow!

Manila shaded me.

[Manila] I'm sorry, girl.

And even though we had resolved it and we spoke,

bitch, I'm a petty bitch from Brooklyn.

I hold onto grudges.

-Damn! Damn! -[Monique] #TeamPettyBitch.

[Monét] I'm petty, girl.

Manila played a shady game, and it got her out, girl.

Like, she was willing to send me home to save her friend.

so I am not hesitant to show these girls this lipstick.

I wish I would have done it onstage.

I would not have given a backstory.

No explanation. Just my lipstick.

[Trinity] Look, hold up. Okay.

I'm just...I'm just like all kinds of everywhere.

I think that you are living for this.

She's living for it. She's living for it.

-Okay, no. No, listen. -[Monét] She loves the drama.

This is shady.

This is some shade-- No, listen.

Let me finish what I'm saying.

You are a fucking shady bitch for doing that.

Why?

And you're a fucking shady bitch for doing that.

But thank you so much. [all laugh]

I think we're realizing that this competition now

we're not going to be judging it fairly.

Because what's fair?

Right.

-Life's not fair. -[Monét] Life's not fair.

Get used to it.

So, bitch, good luck and you, you cross me,

you going home next.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous.

Manila went home because she was competition.

And at this point, I am tied with Monét

for the most wins in the competition.

So, girl, I might be next on the chopping block.

Stunning!

Wakeesha, carry your ass to the grocery store

and get me some tampons!

I don't trust none of these ho's.

I mean, they sent Manila home.

No one is safe.

So the only way to be safe is to be in the top.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

[RuPaul] The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

a coveted spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judges Felicity Huffman

and Jason Wu.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

♪ She's a superstar ♪

Yay. [hums]

[clapping] ♪ Oh ♪

♪ Superstar ♪

[Naomi] It's a new day in the workroom,

and we are finally, fucking finally at the top five.

It feels so good.

Girl, we are at the final, like, the ending, girl.

Like we're coming up on the finish line.

Finish line, henny.

This is the top five I had envisioned.

I prayed, and I said, Jesus,

I want a highly melanin-ated top.

And you know, she's had black in her, so...

[all laugh]

Yeah, Trinity, what's it like to be white?

[all laugh]

[alarm]

[RuPaul] Ooh, girl.

She done already done had herses.

Ladies. At brunch with friends,

funny how quickly the conversation turns to sex,

maple bacon, and shequels.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder,

who are these queens,

and what the hell they doing up in my movie?

[all laugh]

-Hello, hello, hello. -Hi.

Ladies, look at my top five All Stars.

[cheers and applause]

Now, today, we're paying tribute

to a true pop culture phenomenon,

an iconic TV and film series

that is beloved by girls and gays around the globe.

-Drag Race? -[laughs]

[RuPaul] For this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be over-acting in a Ru Hollywood story

about a movie shequel

we're calling Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

-[laughter and applause] -[Trinity] Oh, yes!

-Sickening! -Meow.

Yes, henny. #AllStars4.

Starring in a dishy mockumentary

that includes both shady behind-the-scenes drama

and scripted movie scenes,

you'll each parody one of the shequel stars.

Now, there's SJP,

who plays the fashion-crazed New York City columnist.

There's Kristen, who plays her prissy, art-dealer friend.

Cynthia, who plays the sassy, cynical lawyer.

And then there's Kim,

who plays the over-sexed publicist.

And then there's K-Jo, who's back to reprise her role

as the eighties party girl who fell out of the window.

Splat.

[all laugh]

Now, to help you get into character,

you can use hair by Rock Star Wigs.

Now, you'll all get a copy of the script,

but Naomi, since you were last week's top All Star,

you get to assign the roles.

♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun ♪

[hiss]

We are just one week away

from the grand finale of All Stars 4.

So keep calm and carry on.

-[Monét laughs] -Yes.

[RuPaul] Oh, and while you're at it,

start your engines, and may the best All Star win.

[cheers and laughter]

[Naomi] ♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ It's your sex ♪

Sex and the City acting moment, girl.

Sex and the Kitty, Girl.

[Naomi] I love Sex and the City.

I've seen every episode five times over.

I'm always quoting it with all my friends.

I put a bird on my head.

He couldn't even get out the car.

Are you guys ready to go through the script?

-[Latrice] Sure. -[Trinity] Yeah.

Let's do it.

K-Jo, who's she?

Now, I really don't know a whole lot about the show,

but I surely know that she was not one of the main four.

She's the friend that came in as a mess.

-She's an old party girl. [Naomi] Yeah.

I was still living at home with my mom then.

No, we didn't have cable.

She didn't want me watching HBO

'cause she didn't want me to look at naked women.

Maybe a boob or two would have helped me, you know.

I'm excited.

I'll choose Sarah Jessica Parker, SJP.

Uh-uh.

[Naomi] I'm gonna take the biggest part for myself,

because at this point in the competition,

everyone here is trying to win just like me.

Then I'm trying to show the judges that I am here,

I am present, I deserve a crown.

So I have to play it to win.

I wanna be K-Jo.

-I would love Kim. -I would love Kim, as well.

Is there a reason why one of you guys would love Kim?

I just feel like I--

'Cause I'm the older, slutty, sexy one.

I don't know much about Sex and the City,

but I really want Kim because I relate to the role.

Kim is a cougar.

She's still sleeping with everybody.

That is me in...

30 years, bitch.

I want Kim.

[Trinity] Girl, me, too.

I feel like I can be very slutty as well,

and also, I just feel like my voice lends itself to Kim.

I feel like that's what's calling me.

Yeah, she does kind of sound, you know...

-[Monét] Right. -Mannish.

Very.

I love Sex and the City.

It's one of my favorite shows to watch.

And I know I can do a better Kim than Trinity.

Her pacing and the way she speaks, you know,

it's very mm, oh, hmm, oh.

You're comfortable playing anybody else?

No, I'm comfortable playing Kim.

[laughs]

We could flip a coin.

Rock, scissor, paper.

[Latrice] It's a challenge.

Rock, paper, scissors?

Yeah, rock, paper, scissors over this.

Girl, all I know is

there's a bunch of snakes in here,

and the only way to stay in this competition for me

is to be in the top this week.

And I think Kim is my best chance to win.

Best two out of three.

Okay.

-Okay, best out of three. Here we go.

Y'all two gotta duke it out.

Rock, paper, scissors?

-Best two out of three? -[Trinity] Okay.

Okay, best two out of three. Here we go.

[both laugh]

Today's maxi challenge is to act in the mockumentary

about the making of the Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

And Trinity wants Kim Cattrall, and, bitch, I want Kim Cattrall.

So the only way to decide, girl, is rock, paper, scissors.

One, two, three, shoot.

-Okay, that's one. 1-0. -Okay.

One, two, three, shoot.

Boom, 1-1. Aah!

[all cheer]

One, two, three, shoot.

Aah!

One, two, three, shoot.

-Aah! -I'm it.

I get Kim. I get Kim.

I thought you were going with paper.

-Candy wrapper. -[Monét] I know.

Bitch, I can't take it.

-Monique, you'll be K-Jo. -K-Jo.

-Latrice, you'll be Cynthia. -Okay.

I will be playing SJP. You'll be Kim.

So who's the nice, like, pretty sensitive girl?

That's gonna be Monét playing Kristin.

[Naomi laughs]

Why'd your face change like that?

I don't see her being dainty.

It's an acting challenge.

I'm an actress. Let's go.

I really, really want Kim,

but I know all these characters really well,

so I'm going to slay this challenge

no matter who I play.

Please don't say it. We're about to eat.

Your girl is a contender. Amen.

Well, the gang's all here

brunching at our favorite place.

How do you like your character?

I didn't get a chance to read her whole description,

but now I see what she's supposed to be doing.

She sounds lesbian.

-She is a lesbian. -[all laugh]

Naomi assigns me Cynthia,

the level-headed lawyer turned lesbian turned politician.

I'm kind of getting into it.

I'm like I'm reading the backstory of her,

and I'm like, okay, I can be this girl.

I just have to make it my own.

I have big news, too.

We all know you're gay.

Not that.

I'm running for office.

Aah!

What if I have like a twitch?

[laughs]

I'm K-Jo.

She has been a party girl for years.

Hiya, skanks. What?

You look like you just seen a ghost.

I have a long history of acting, in the church plays.

Anybody else grew up like me in the Easter cantata,

the Christmas play, trying to look like Jesus or Moses.

Didn't you die

when you fell out of the window of the penthouse 15 years ago?

Nope. I was just in a coma.

Also, I've acted on stage in the school auditorium.

Um... [crickets chirp]

I mean, that's about it.

Woke up about an hour ago.

Anybody got a flip phone charger?

I don't know if they want to do

like the twitch the entire thing. Right?

[Latrice] Wow.

She has some strange ideas.

I was like, yeah, do that. Please, do that.

Please let her do it.

[laughs]

The end.

Work. This is going to be fun.

-This is funny. -♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

I think that your character is perfect for you.

I think so, too.

-Hello, ladies. -[All] Hi, Ross.

Are you ready to Jimmy Choo up the scenery?

[all laugh]

Now it's time to film our mockumentary

for Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

Rolling in Sweden? Okay, great. Action.

Now, our setting is the Standard Hotel.

Love it.

The Standard has five hotels

in New York, L.A., Miami, and coming soon to London.

-Whoa. -Word.

They're known for their taste-making clientele,

so you will fit right in.

Places, ladies.

Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3 take one.

Action.

Well, the gang's all here brunching at our favorite place.

[Ross] Cut! Latrice, with your first line,

you're sort of setting the scene. We're here!

You know, it's like, oh, the girls are back together.

-[Latrice] Okay. -I think it's that energy.

-Okay, okay. -[Ross] All right? Here we are!

-Sure. Yay. Okay. -Sell it. Action.

Well, the gang's all here.

We're brunching at our favorite place.

Anna Wintour is finally stepping down

as editor-in-chief of Vogue.

Cut! Naomi, your energy is good.

I just don't want you to push too hard.

You know, SJP, she's kind of just kind of sweet.

-Okay. -You know. Got it?

Anna Wintour is finally stepping down

as the editor-in-chief of Vogue.

Cut. You're a little, you know, a little off.

She's more like perky, because this is what she loves.

Okay.

And still find a little more subtlety.

-Okay. -We're gonna get there.

[Trinity] Girl, I'm waiting for Naomi to give me some SJP,

but all I'm getting is... [whispers] Club 96.

Let's talk about female fashion issue.

All right, cut.

So, Naomi, female issues, female fashions.

Can we please stop talking about female issues

and start talking about fashion issues?

[Ross] Okay, cut.

Let's talk about female fashion issues.

Cut. Enough female issues.

This movie needs more female fashion.

-Female fashion. -[Ross] You got it?

Female issues, female fashion.

It's a lot of lines. I get it.

As a proud mother

of a daughter of color, and...

[Ross] Take it again.

You know, as a proud mother of a daughter of color

and a newly converted Jewess,

I think that your first cover should be solid black.

Cut. Monét, play with it.

-Have fun with it. -Okay.

Okay? Because we're wanting more.

Don't say it! We're about to eat.

Cut, cut, cut. Okay, great.

Ladies, we're moving on to the next scene.

Ooh!

All right, so we're gonna be cutting from the movie.

This is now you're being the actors, right?

-Okay. -Scripts are hidden.

Duncan's going to say cut, you'll pull the scripts out.

-Okay? -Right.

[Ross] I think I would love to even see your posture change.

Cut. Okay. You know what I mean?

Almost like you let your belly out.

Just a subtle, like, character shift, you know what I mean?

Okay.

[Duncan] That's a cut.

Oh. Oh, thank God. I have notes.

Why do I have to be...

I'm sorry. Line?

Why do I have to do all the sex scenes?

Okay. And why do I have to...

Cut. I need you to get that line, Trinity.

-Sorry. -Action.

It says in my script I'm supposed to...fuck a duck.

Seriously? [Ross] Cut.

Okay, Trinity, I'm going to take you Kim Cattrall 101.

Can you go low on "seriously?"

Seriously?

No. Kim Cattrall goes "seriously."

-She does. -[all laugh]

Okay. All right. A real duck?

Seriously?

Trinity is blowing it. [laughs]

Action.

Hiya, skanks.

-[Latrice] Oh. -What?

You look like you just seen a ghost or something.

[chuckles]

Does anybody have a charger for my flip phone?

And then it's the pause. Oh, sorry.

[Ross] All right, cut!

-Great energy when you came in. -Okay.

Monét, I think you are so bothered by K-Jo.

She's so annoying. She's a mess.

Got it.

Didn't you die when you fell out the penthouse window?

Nope. Just in a coma.

I woke up about an hour ag-ago.

[all laugh]

Don't put that in. Take care of that in post.

It was actually--

[all laugh]

[Latrice] Girl.

Girl, this bitch is suffering

from chronic wig loss syndrome.

And there ain't no pill, there ain't no shot,

and it's only given anally.

Can I smoke in here?

No.

[coughs]

[Ross] Cut. Okay.

I don't know that we need you guys coughing

and smoking a cigarette if we never lit it. Okay?

So I think you look for a light. Oh, I can't smoke it?

-It's not lit, okay? -Got it. Sorry.

No, don't be sorry.

The church play type, you know, actor.

[chuckles]

So what happened with you and Mr. Big?

Finally.

Oh, I meant, I thought you'd never ask.

[Latrice] Mr. Big?

Why does every conversation have to do with men?

-I mean, seriously. -I mean--

Sorry.

The future is female, and if--

If you step on my line one more time...

[all laugh]

Sorry.

Let's just get through it before we cut.

-It's almost there, okay? -[laughs]

It's good. I promise you.

Whoo!

-Giddyup. -Whoo.

Aah!

Save a horse, ride a hillbilly.

[all laugh]

Oh, my God. This is the big day.

Whoo, today's runway is kitty cat couture,

and today's elimination is the last one before the finale,

where somebody's gonna get the crown.

And that's a lot of pressure.

You had a lot of fucking lines.

I had a lot of lines.

You had lines the house down,

but you knew them.

[Naomi] But I feel like I had

one of the best understanding of my lines.

-[Monét] Oh, absolutely. -Going in there.

Totally.

Girl, I hear y'all over there

trying to make something happen that ain't gonna happen.

[all laugh]

-I'm very proud of my performance

in Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

I took the lead role, who had the most lines.

It was a risk, and I hope that it doesn't send me home.

You were so Kristin.

-I wouldn't say that. -Yeah.

You don't even know the show.

She's the prissy white bitch. You didn't give me that.

A lot of mine was in the nuances that I did.

[laughs]

[Monét] Like, like, like, like--

-You know what you do? Failed nuance.

[all laugh]

Nu-ance.

When I can make myself laugh, like, I know it's funny.

And yesterday inside, I was like... [laughs].

So it's gonna be really interesting

to see what happens on the runway.

Ross came for you, Trinity.

I don't know how to feel about it.

Well, here's the thing.

Because Trinity wanted Kim Cattrall--

That's what I wanted to ask you, Monét.

Do you feel like you could have did a better job than Trinity?

-I do. -Oh.

-That's not shade. -[Latrice] No, girl.

I'm just shocked to hear you say yes.

Well, because also, I'm like a huge fan,

like, I've seen every season.

But, girl, just because you're a huge fan of the show

don't mean you'll do the--

But I know her isms, and I know, like, like, I sometimes--

But I felt like I was doing the isms.

I sit with my friends and I, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trinity] Girl, Monét is being a bitter Betty, bitch.

"Oh, girl, I know this show."

Bitch, we'll see.

It's elimination day.

The stress of like having to like pick one of you

if I'm in the top, you know, and win,

that's the part I'm not looking forward to.

[Trinity] If I am in the top,

I really am genuinely going to try

to make the fairest possible decision

based off of track record.

I'm hearing all this report card bullshit,

and like I'm looking at who I feel

-would represent this legacy-- -I agree.

And actually have a platform and use it for good

and not for like self-indulgent music videos, a new T-shirt.

That's bullshit.

So I want somebody standing up there next to me

who's looking at the bigger picture

of what this competition really means and stands for.

And that is my sermonette for the day.

[Naomi] It's real easy to talk about it before it happens--

That's very true.

[Naomi] But when you're in that moment,

everything goes out the window.

I know it would make great television

if Trinity got voted off.

[Latrice] Ooh!

Oh, please don't say that and put that in the universe.

Don't hate the player, bitch. Hate the game.

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

[RuPaul] And what? [applause]

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.

Michelle Visage, now, is it true

you turned down the lead role

in the original Sex and the City?

Uh, close.

I was offered the lead role in another movie

called Sex and the Titties.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, you're perfect for that.

-Scheduling conflict and, yeah. -[RuPaul] Yeah.

And Hollywood's hottest and most affordable director,

Ross Mathews.

Ru, I love directing so much.

I felt like Clint Beastwood.

[all laugh]

That's funny, because you look more like a Steven Squealberg.

Cut!

[all laugh]

A fashion designer whose clients include Michelle Obama,

Julianne Moore, and the new RuPaul doll, Jason Wu.

Hi, doll.

You look gorgeous, both of you.

I feel plastic.

Just 99%.

And an award-winning actress of the stage and screen,

the incredible Felicity Huffman.

Hi, Ru. You know, it's a fun fact.

I actually beat out Michelle for the lead

in that film Sex and the Titties, and it was actually

some of the most rewarding work of my career.

Uh-huh.

Well, I bet you had to dig deep for that one.

Oh, Ru, you have no idea.

[all laugh]

This week, we challenged our queens

to star in a mockumentary

about the making of Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

On the runway, category is cat couture.

-Meow. -Ladies and gentlemen,

start your engines, and may the best All Star win.

♪ She's a super queen, super queen ♪

[RuPaul] First up, Trinity The Tuck.

[Michelle] She's a cheetah.

[Jason] I think this tiger's from New Jersey, right?

[Ross] Oh, my God, I'm so star-struck.

I love her cheese puffs.

[RuPaul laughs]

[Trinity] Bitch, my cat couture is fierce.

I am feeling my pussy.

She is sleek, tight-fitting, and she purrs.

Rrr. Meow. [hiss]

[RuPaul] Now that's what I call a meowchfit.

[Michelle] Yes.

Her leopard brings all the spots to the yard.

[all laugh]

[Felicity] I want that catsuit.

[RuPaul] Monét X Change.

-[Jason] Oh. -[Michelle] Whoo.

[RuPaul] Where there's smoke, there's a pussy on fire.

-[Michelle] A pink pussy? -[RuPaul] Mm.

[Jason] I think it's one of the Pokémon.

I think I should try to catch it.

[Michelle] Jigglypuff. [all laugh]

[Monét] I'm giving you pink pussy panther fierceness.

I feel sexy. I feel sultry.

I feel like this is like the Pink Panther come to life,

and she grew up in Harlem on Lexington and 123rd, okay?

She is a pink panther, and I feel good.

[RuPaul] Pink Panther on the runway.

[Felicity] It looks like a sex toy in a person.

[RuPaul] I'll take two. [all laugh]

[Jason] I can see her cat nips.

[Michelle] Meow, meow.

[RuPaul] Latrice Royale.

[Ross] Behold the lion queen.

[RuPaul] Oh, she's serving that jungle fever.

♪ If she were queen of the forest ♪

[Latrice] I'm the queen of the jungle, honey.

I have this gorgeous air-brushed safari dress.

Hair is to the gods,

honey blondes and crimped and braids.

Just giving you lion safari.

[laughs] And I feel beautiful.

[Michelle] Atilier Roberto Safari.

-[RuPaul] Safari so goody. -[Michelle] Yes.

[Ross] Do you really like it or are you just lion?

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Naomi Smalls.

Cou-tens across the board.

[Michelle] Guys, is that a skein on her dress?

[laughs]

Thank you. That's a yarn joke. Thank you.

[Jason] I'd love to play with her yarn balls, though.

[Naomi] This cat couture look

is my pastel take on a modern-day cat lady.

She sits at home with her feline friends,

because who needs a boyfriend when you look this fabulous?

[Ross] So cats have nine lives, and she has three cats.

So carry the one...it's like a thousand and something.

[Michelle] Yes. This is a fancy feast.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Monique Heart.

[Michelle] Those boots are grrrrrreat!

[all laugh]

[Jason] We call that a puss in hooker boots?

[Michelle] Yes. [all laugh]

[Monique] My cat couture look

is inspired by Puss in Boots.

It is a cat leotard, airbrushed, custom colored,

lightly sprinkled with some rhinestones.

And these boots? Ridiculous.

They are what? Pussy.

[RuPaul] No, she's a Puss in Boots and a Cat in a Hat.

[all laugh]

[Michelle] Rum Tum Tucker. [all laugh]

♪ She's a super queen ♪

Welcome, All Stars.

Meow.

-Meow. -Meow.

-Grrr. [all laugh]

It's time for the world debut

of your mockumentary.

[Announcer] When it was announced

that the most beloved characters

in the history of the world

were reuniting for one final film,

Hollywood predicted box office gold.

As the star and executive producer,

I had the great responsibility

to celebrate female friendship

by bringing my sister actors back together.

Who wouldn't love that, right?

[Announcer] But not everyone was on the same page.

I never wanted to do this movie.

I've been very clear.

In fact, I literally said,

"I do not want to do this movie."

[Announcer] This is the Ru Hollywood Story

of Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3,

the shequel that was never meant to be.

Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3, take one.

Well, ladies, were here.

We are brunching at our favorite place.

Guess what?

Anna Wintour is finally stepping down

as the editor-in-chief of Vogue.

No.

And guess who's in line for the position.

That's great. You know, as a proud mother

of a daughter of color

and a newly converted Jewess,

I think that your first cover should be solid black.

You know, to challenge white patriarchy.

By the way, where the heck is the waiter?

Ha! He's buttering my muffin.

And by that, I mean he's under the table.

[both gasp]

His name's Larry, but I like to call him Lawrence.

Lawrence of my labia.

Please don't say it.

We're about to eat.

I have big news, too.

Something I've been wanting to tell you all

for such a long time.

It's okay. We all know you're gay.

Not that.

I'm running for office!

Oh! [applause]

It's about time you got your ballet box stuffed.

What? Once you start making sex puns,

it's hard to stop.

Guess who I ran into on the subway.

Mr. Big.

That reminds me.

I need to fix New York's crumbling subway system.

Speaking of worn-out tunnels,

vaginal dryness is a big problem with women in their sixties,

so I'm launching my own feminine lubricant

called "Slickity Split."

Cut. Cut.

Any shameless plugging has to go through me.

Shameless?

My tits are all over this franchise,

and you've never even taken off your bra.

She who shall not be named has always been a challenge.

In my script, it says I'm supposed to fuck a duck.

A real duck?

Seriously?

Ladies, can we get along?

I mean, we're stronger together.

I mean, really.

Where'd she go?

[gasps]

"I'm sorry. I can't. I hate you."

Did she just break up with us on a Post-it note?

Oh, no, she better don't.

If there's one thing I learned playing Annie on Broadway

is that at a certain age, everyone's replaceable.

[Announcer] So executive producer SJP

asked an old guest star to drop in.

[K-Jo] Cowabunga!

Oh!

Hiya, skanks.

Oh!

Wait. Really?

She was in one episode in the entire series.

You look like you just seen a ghost.

[Kristin] Didn't you die

when you feel out of the window of the penthouse

15 years ago?

Nope. Just in a coma.

I woke up about an hour ago.

Does anyone have a charger for my flip phone?

Flip phone?

Welcome back.

We really needed a fun member to fill this foursome.

Ah, yeah, whatever.

Can I smoke in here?

Who says I'm not fun?

Is this because I'm a lesbian?

You know, I used to be

New York City's number one party girl.

But I learned my lesson.

Now, who has the blow?

Shh! We don't really do that anymore, okay?

You know, whatever happened to you and Mr. Big, anyway?

Mr. Big.

Why does every conversation end up being about men?

The future is female.

It certainly was last night.

Holla.

I mean, can we please address the double standards

when it comes to nudity?

It's about gender justice.

Come on, say it with me, ladies.

Free the nipple!

Oh, cut!

[Announcer] It turns out that unscripted nudity

was more than SJP could bare.

We need to please stop talking about female issues.

This movie needs more female fashion.

So after all this clowning around,

I couldn't help but wonder,

as editor of Vogue,

what was going to be the theme of my first Met Ball?

[gasps]

Hiya.

Do you like my look?

It's Dolce & Gabbozo.

Listen, if it's gonna help me snag

the all-important clown vote, why not?

Can I smoke in here?

Well, if it isn't the insane clown posse.

Get a load of my insane clown pussy.

Cut. You?

What are you doing here?

I couldn't resist a clown theme.

I mean, who doesn't love a big top?

Ugh.

Oops. I did it again.

[gasps]

Well, you know what?

I'm going to be the better person.

Come here.

Oh.

[honk]

-Oh! -Oh!

[SJP] Oops.

That was real knee-slapper.

-Oh! [Kim] Oops.

That wasn't your knee.

Hey, hey, hey. Clown-on-clown violence

is no laughing matter.

Oh!

Girls, when they go low,

we go pie.

[laughs]

-Oh! [K-Jo] Ha!

She's clown roadkill!

Aah!

[SJP] And there we were,

red-nosed and red-faced

in our own little three-ring circus.

[Kristin] You know, Anne Frank once said,

"in spite of everything, people are truly good at heart."

Or was that Cardi B?

[Cynthia] When women come together,

they can do important powerful things.

Just not these women.

[Announcer] Ultimately, plans

for the Sex and the Kitty, Girl shequel were scrapped.

I'm getting paid for this, right?

[applause]

Nice work, kitty girls.

Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

[RuPaul] Welcome, ladies.

Now it's time for the judges' critiques,

starting with Trinity The Tuck.

Tonight on the runway, I mean, sometimes

it's just great to keep it simple and deliver,

and that's what you did.

I just couldn't take my eyes off of you,

and the body, everything works.

I thought you were one fierce kitty.

I wanted to be you and date you

both at the same time.

-I'm married, but-- -[Trinity] That's okay.

I can be a side pussy.

[all laugh]

Well, let's talk about the challenge, all right?

You needed to nail this.

Girl, you got this.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

[all laugh]

It stole the show, really, for me, and it was really great.

[Felicity] You calibrated the performance.

There were highs and there were lows,

and it was different, and I really appreciated it.

-And I loved watching you. -Thank you.

Up next, Monét X Change.

[Michelle] Tonight on the runway,

though you look adorable, I am getting full on mouse.

Really? Mouse?

Anybody else getting mouse?

-It's the round ears. -Yeah.

[Jason] You're quite blended,

which kind of makes everything a little more quiet.

I'm black under here, just so you know.

-What? -[Jason] No.

-[Monét] I know. -Shocker.

Okay, so Kristin Davis's character

is not always the most hilarious character, right?

Yeah.

But she provides something to bounce off of,

and that's what we were trying to get you to.

Like, to be the prissy one

who was so annoyed when Monique came in there.

So I wish you would have found a way to pop more.

Yeah.

And I think there were some moments that were there.

Monét, you're a good actress.

But I think what was missing

was the real goody-two-shoes from her.

Yeah.

That's why we couldn't really go anywhere with her.

-[Monét] Yeah. -If that makes sense.

-Yeah. -[Felicity] I disagree.

I think after playing a lot of those roles myself,

that's all that you can do.

And if you do more than that,

you're kind of shoveling shit on top of it.

So good for you.

Up next, Latrice Royale.

So when I heard you were here today,

I was literally dying because I'm your biggest fan ever.

Stop it.

Like the biggest fucking fan ever.

So with that said,

it's very hard for me to say,

but I wish the costume was a little stronger.

The chiffon kind of just fell flat for me,

because it was kind of just dragging along,

and I kind of missed the richness.

-I wish you had a cape. -Oh.

That would have been fucking major.

-Roadkill. -It might have been a roadkill.

[Ross] Well, let's talk about the challenge.

I have always loved Cynthia's character.

I always thought she was underrated,

because it could seem like she was boring,

but she was a strong, smart woman,

and she knew how to deliver a line.

And you did the same thing. Well done.

You were funny, you landed the jokes,

but you really were talking to someone.

You were the one that did that the most,

and I really admire that.

Thank you.

Up next, Naomi Smalls.

This is really fun.

It's campy, but it's also beautiful.

It's fashion, and it's different.

I like your take on the modern catwoman.

I loved it. This is fashion for me.

Like fashion with a capital F.

Thank you, Jason.

So you got SJP.

Did you dole out the roles?

I did.

So you chose to give yourself the big one.

-Yes. -[Michelle] Which is smart,

if you can handle it.

So the thing about SJP

is that is the role that every single girl wanted to be.

What was missing for me from your performance

was any likeability.

I didn't--I didn't like her.

I didn't want to be like her.

[Ross] Where you struggled

was really finding the essence of that character.

You weren't bringing yourself to a role.

I think that's what you were missing.

So what we got was a whole lot of attitude and no Naomi.

Were there other roles that you had your eye on?

[Naomi] Um, not really.

On season eight, I would always like go for a role

that I think I could kind of fly under the radar,

because I was too scared to let it really stand out.

So I wanted to challenge myself,

like I've been challenging myself this entire competition

to go with the lead.

-I love that. -Thank you.

Up next, Monique Heart.

[Michelle] Tonight on the runway

is probably one of the best you've ever looked.

We got the Puss in Boots reference.

Your makeup is really dynamic. It's really fun.

I'm just really proud of you tonight.

[Ross] Honestly, I think it's my favorite

I've ever seen you look.

Because of course you're glamorous

and you're gorgeous and you're put together.

Yes.

[Ross] But there's whimsy in it, too.

There's fun. Let's talk about the challenge.

You got a character

that was one of the most talked about ever.

It could have gone really badly, and you smashed it.

Michelle, I actually did not give her much direction.

-Did you not? -You know why?

-The bitch didn't need it. -[Michelle] There you go.

I thought your character was hilarious.

I just was like laughing my ass off the whole time, actually.

And, you know, it was pretty genius,

because we really don't know that much about that character.

-Right. -[Jason] She died.

So you had to fabricate

the rest of what that character looks like.

You know, I think your role probably was longer

than her actual time at Sex and the City.

[all laugh]

Monique, cat got your tongue?

Ah. It just feels really, really, like, damn right.

You know, this is fierce competition across the board.

So thank you. Thank you.

All right, thank you.

Based on the judge's critiques,

I've made some decisions.

Monique Heart.

Trinity The Tuck.

Con-drag-ulations.

You are the top two All Stars of the week.

[applause]

Thank you.

You've each won a $3.000 gift card

from The Diva's Jewels,

and a three-night stay

at the fabulous Standard East Village in New York City.

-Yes! -Aah!

Airfare for two included.

-[Michelle] Ooh. -Stunning.

Catnip not included.

[all laugh]

This week if you are not in the top,

you are in the bottom.

Monique, Trinity, each of you needs to decide

which of the bottom three you'll eliminate

if you win the lip sync.

So while you queens deliberate,

the judges and I will be reading my new book, Guru.

Available everywhere.

Ladies, you may leave the stage.

♪ I made the top four ♪

♪ I made the top four ♪

It feels so good to be in the top four,

but there's five of us here tonight.

And if I win this lip sync, I have to chop somebody.

[Naomi] What the fuck just happened?

[Trinity] This was probably the hardest one to see

what they were looking for as far as the challenge.

Very that.

To have a sense of feeling like you did well

and still be in the bottom, it's not good enough,

that sucks.

Even though I know I did well this week,

if you're not in the top, you're in the bottom.

So this is so not where I want to be.

You feeling tormented yet?

[Monique] Yes.

Clearly you already know where I wanna be,

and what it all means, and we're all fucking fierce.

Right.

So you do what you have to do

to make your spirit right

and you right in your spirit, you know what I mean?

Okay, girl, like,

it's like I've been doing a fierce job in the competition,

and, you know, I just wasn't the fiercest today,

and I'm in the bottom.

I can't deny that you have the second most wins.

Yeah.

And you've--this is the only your second time in the bottom.

Yeah.

Who would you send home?

If I was in the top?

I would probably choose Latrice.

Just because she's been here before,

she's went, she's came back.

And it's like, bitch, when you come back,

you need to try your best to be at the top

so that you're not in that situation to go home again.

Okay. Very good point.

But if you're not here tomorrow,

don't take it personal.

[Monét] Trinity has made it clear

that she wants to play a fair game.

But she might have waited this entire season to play strategy

and send home a strong competitor.

The feeling of being possibly chopped

so close to the final four is gruesome.

Okay, so listen.

What's up, pussycat?

[Trinity] I'm not going to lie to you.

I don't know who I'm gonna pick yet.

Trinity has so many opinions

about the report card and the fairness,

so the fact that Latrice and I are neck and neck with wins,

she could send me home.

What I want to know is who would you send home?

[whistles]

It would be a gag, because I saved her last week.

But I'm not really thrilled with Latrice's performance

while she's been here.

Okay.

She had some peaks, but not a lot.

I'm taking into consideration not just the performances here.

I'm taking into consideration full body of work,

outside of here, and who you are as a person.

Naomi's got some fierce-ass runways, bitch.

She is an amazing lip syncer,

and she's proven that since her last season here,

she has grown a lot.

But her track record has shown she has more growing to do.

To me all of that factors in to who should win this competition.

Before we do the thing, I want to say this.

I don't wanna go home.

I've been doing a great job on All Stars.

I've really redeemed myself

from a lot of my mistakes of season 10.

And I don't think that my work at All Stars is done.

I feel like I still have

the one more fucking challenge to do, bitch.

Top four.

[Monét] Monique is my sister,

so I'm hoping that she'll have my back.

As close as we got during the competition, here we are.

Yeah. Look, regardless of what your decision is, Monique--

I just want to know that you won't hate me.

Is Monique cut-a-bitch Heart about to send me home?

Is she about to gag the fuck out of me?

May the odds ever be in your favor.

[kiss]

I know this look is pussy.

[both laugh]

-Congratulations. -Thank you.

[Naomi] I thought you did a really good job,

and I think I've done a really good job.

All of us did a really good job.

I really want to honor everyone.

And it sucks because you're just like how do I do this?

Who do you think should go home?

Uh, I--I--I don't know.

Your life is on the line, because, guess what?

Both of them said you.

Okay. All right.

Interesting.

These bitches are gunning for me.

It'd probably be Naomi at this point.

Why do you think Naomi?

Naomi did the worst in this challenge.

She took on a bit more than she could chew on.

So she made her bed, lie in it.

At home.

That's a very good point.

They're talking a long time.

-They're talking a long time. -They are.

Shade. I call shade.

[Naomi] Honestly, she could tell Latrice,

like, what I said about her, and I'd be like, yeah,

that's exactly what I said.

I don't give a fuck.

Honestly, I don't give a fuck.

I found out y'all both voted me off the island.

[Monét] Latrice, you know I love you.

It's just you had to pick a name.

-Yeah. -I said you

because based on consistency in this competition,

you've been the most inconsistent.

Have I?

[Naomi] Yeah. You don't think

that you deserve to be in the bottom at all?

[Latrice] Well, based on my critique, no.

Who did you pick to send home?

Naomi.

Naomi, debt has been paid, bitch.

If it's me or you, you gotta go.

[Trinity] There's reason for all three of them to stay,

and there's reason for all three of them to go.

For me, like me and Monét both

have been in that place of a quick turnaround

and really have shown the fuck out.

So for sure, she's not one on my list for an immediate chop.

[Trinity] Monét has had a lot of high points

through this competition.

And I've seen a lot of growth with Monét.

But is that enough for her to be top four?

I just don't know.

I'll take into consideration

who I think would be a good representative of this title.

Yeah.

And Latrice is somebody that thousands look up to.

That is really true.

[Trinity] And so I can't not think about that.

Yeah. I do not feel okay chopping Latrice,

because I know what her message is,

I know what her heart is, and I know what her integrity is.

But at the same time...

...she's been in the bottom the most.

Naomi has been turning it.

I kind of disagree.

I kind of feel like Naomi is forgettable.

She's sickening on the runway, but--

Naomi had really bad critiques today,

and that is definitely something to think about.

So, I mean, that really, really is.

I do know that I don't know.

Amen.

Mm, mm, mm.

I'm a good author.

There's so many beautiful photographs in here.

I wish I knew how to read.

Ooh, she's got such pretty hair.

I just can't stop touching it.

Hey, I got a book, too, you know.

Ooh, look at all that ass.

[Doll] Silence!

Bring back my All Stars.

[Trinity] I am here for business.

This decides who's in the top four.

And looking at the bottom three,

I'm taking into consideration everything

from who you are as an entertainer,

who you are as a person,

your track record in the competition,

and also, do I think you are ready to reign.

[Monique] We have all made it so far

and fought so hard to get here.

We are close to the finish line.

This is it.

The dream goes on for four of us.

But with great power comes great responsibility.

So tonight, I might have to crush someone's dream.

[RuPaul] Welcome back, ladies.

Two All Stars stand before me.

Ladies, this is your chance to impress me,

win $10.000, and earn the power

to give one of the bottom queens the chop.

The time has come for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your legacy.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ Anytime my world gets crazy ♪

♪ All I have to do to calm it ♪

♪ Is just, just think of you ♪

♪ 'Cause when I think of you, baby ♪

♪ All I think about is our love ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

[all laugh]

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ Bass ♪

[Michelle] Wow.

Ooh. [Jason laughs]

♪ Ooh, when I'm around ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ Something's coming through ♪

♪ Something's coming through ♪

♪ Brick ♪ [all laugh]

[Michelle] Yeah!

[RuPaul] Janet, Janet, Janet now!

Aah! [all laugh]

♪ Feels so good ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

[cheers and applause]

-Whoo! -Wow.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Trinity...

You're a winner, baby.

[applause]

Con-drag-ulations.

You've earned a cash tip of $10.000.

Thank you.

I'm extremely proud of myself

that I have four wins

and I've won two lip syncs.

and made it all the way to the end

in a fierce competition.

But it all of a sudden hits me

that now I have to reveal who I'm choosing to go home,

and...I've got to crush somebody's dream.

[RuPaul] Monique, you are safe.

You may step to the back of the stage.

[applause]

Will the bottom three please step forward?

Trinity, with great power comes great responsibility.

Which queen have you chosen to get the chop?

After talking to all the girls,

there were several great points made

by all three of them why they should stay

and who should go.

And the queen that I've decided to send home tonight

is fierce and she will forever be

someone everyone looks up to.

So I'm sending home Latrice.

Latrice Royale,

as it is written, so it shall be done.

You are and will always be an All Star.

Thank you so much.

Now sashay away.

Sorry.

It's okay, girl.

-Love you. -Love you, too.

[Trinity] All right, babe.

I already said my byes once, so bye.

[all laugh]

All the girls kind of felt like it was my time to go

I guess because I got sent home once before.

Which is fine. I'm cool.

This is the game we came to play, and they played it.

Trinity I'm sure has her reasons.

There's no hard feelings.

Bitch, I'll see her on the road.

It'll be a kiki and we'll laugh about this later.

But right now it's toodle-oo, so farewell, so long.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

I had a very enjoyable time this go-around.

That was my number one goal, and check mark.

I did. I had a great time.

So I'm gonna go and be wonderful

and marry the man of my dreams.

To all of my royal court, baby, mama's coming home

and I'm proud, and I'm still the queen of queens, darling.

My top four All Stars. Con-drag-ulations.

Next week is the All Star grand finale,

and I want to hear from our fans.

Which queen deserves a coveted spot

in the Drag Race Hall of Fame?

Are you Team Monét, Team Monique,

Team Naomi, or Team Trinity?

Let your voice be heard at RuPaul's Drag Race,

#AllStar4.

And don't miss next week when we crown a winner, baby.

Now, remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

-Amen! -[RuPaul] All right.

Now let the music play.

♪ I'm telling the truth now ♪

♪ We're all born naked and the rest is drag ♪

♪ Who, who, who do you think you ♪

♪ We're all born naked and the rest is drag ♪

[RuPaul] Next time on All Stars...

-This is top four!

I think some twist is coming.

-I agree. -I don't know what.

-Yeah. -But, bitch, it ain't over.

-Girl! Gonna be juicy.

-For this week's final maxi challenge

you'll be dancing and singing to my new single

Super queen.

-All Star rules have been suspended.

-Permanently. -[gasps]

[Trinity] This is gonna be

-make it or break it. -I know.

-Naomi, people who are not taking it seriously don't win.

-Bitch, Monét picked up on this choreo like that.

-Tell me, how has this experience

been different from your season?

-I'm winning. [all laugh]

[RuPaul] The next All Star

to be inducted into the Drag Race Hall of Fame is...

[RuPaul laughs, bell dings]