All language subtitles for Rockford Files s06e08 The Hawaiian Headache.eng

Aloha!

SMITH: This isn't some sleazy
divorce case in L.A.

This is top flight
international spy work.

Be tricky, be tough
and be a tiger.

ROCKFORD:
Guess where I am now?

At the bar?

Close.
The jail.

Now, when I say move,
I want you to come in,

and when you come,
I want to see lead in the air.

(GUN FIRING)

Move, move, move, move!

Terrific.

Book him. Murder one.

I'm not with him.

(PHONE RINGING)

ROCKFORD
ON ANSWERING MACHINE: This is Jim Rockford.

At the tone, leave your name
and message.

I'll get back to you.

(BEEPS)

Billings, LAPD.

You know, Thursday is
Chapman's 20th year

and we're giving
a little surprise party at the captain's.

I think you should come.

By the way, we need
five bucks for the present.

ROCKFORD: Dad,
you can let go of my hand now. We're here.

ROCKY: Oh, sonny,
we're here.

Look, they have
palm trees out there. See?

Over on the right.
Palm trees.

Yeah, well, Dad
we have those in L.A.

You know our
palm trees is choking to death in the bad air.

Look at these here.
Look at them.

(LAUGHING)
I just don't believe we're here, sonny.

And we wouldn't be either
if I hadn't gone through that there trash

and pulled out
that letter you threw away and...

ROCKFORD: Please don't go
through that again, okay?

Yeah, of course,
you don't want to hear about it.

All these years
I been telling you,

"Sonny, don't throw away
your mail unopened."

And you say to me,
"Dad, I don't have to open my mail

"to tell whether
it's real or junk mail."

Well, what are you doing?

I'm giving you
my full attention.

Three times in the last hour,
you brought this up, Dad.

I made the mistake
of not looking at you,

so obviously you
don't think I was paying attention, huh?

Look, you just go
ahead, huh?

Once and for all,
put it to bed.

Well, I was just
telling you,

here we won this
wonderful free vacation

and you threw away
the letter unopened.

(LAUGHS)

I'm sorry.
It's just that I'm excited.

In all my whole life,
I ain't never been to Hawaii before.

Now I'm here
and to think that we got here

just because we were
shopping at Mason's Department Store.

Oh, boy!
I can't help it.

I gotta keep telling myself
that we're really here.

All right. You got it
off your chest?

(LAUGHS) Well...

Thank you, ladies,
thank you.

Well, I'm still
excited, of course.

Yeah, well, so am I,
Dad, so am I. Come on, let's go.

You might as well
face it though, sonny,

you did throw away
that letter unopened. Excuse me.

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

(CHUCKLES)
No, I'm only kidding you.

We're going to
the Royal Surf?

Yeah, the Royal Surf Hotel.

Can you imagine?
All my life,

I've never been
in a hotel yet with the name

"royal" in the name.

Don't you forget
the Royal Coach Inn. Best pancakes in Fresno.

(CHUCKLES) And when I
think you almost gave your ticket away to Becker...

Yeah, well, I do
owe him a lot of favors, you know.

And it's his vacation
and I figured with all the favors he's done for me,

I owe it to him.

Well, that is all true,
but when you got good fortune you want to keep it.

You don't want to
pass it on. Keep it.

Well, he and Peg,
they wanted to go to Canada,

so it worked out
for the best anyway.

Next car, please.
This one's reserved. Thank you.

Oh, next car, huh?

Yeah.
Hey.

LYLE: Relax,
Mr. Rockford, okay? Take it easy.

ROCKFORD: What...

DRIVER: Please watch
your fingers as the doors close.

And grab the hand holds
while the tram is in motion.

Jimmy? Jim?

Rockford?

Colonel Smith?
Is that you?

You got it, soldier.
You got it.

All right, Colonel.
What is this?

Hey, no,
"How you doing, Smitty?"

No infantry backslapping?

Hey, it's me, kid.
Howling Mad. I saved your bacon.

All right, all right.
How you doing, Smitty?

Let's hear it for
the Fifth Regimental Combat Team.

Now, what the hell is this?

This is P six.
Whipple, get up front with the others.

Come on, get moving.
I got to catch a plane

to Hong Kong
in an hour. Come on, Jimmy.

Okay, Jimmy,
here's the scoop.

I'm out of
military intelligence

and working for
national intelligence.

Now, I need a guy
for a piece-of-cake job.

Somebody who's
not in the agency.

Some new face that
I can S.C. In 10 seconds on my signature.

S.C.

Security Clearance.

The old meet market stamp,
government approved.

Yeah, well, I want
you to get something straight, Colonel.

I don't know what
you're figuring on.

Why don't you just
figure I'm not any way a part of it?

Well, let's just figure
that you are part of it.

I'm telling you,
it's my vacation.

Hey, baby,
who do you think sent that envelope

with those tickets
to Hawaii?

You think that
three-for-a-dollar department store

is giving away
free trips out here?

Now, I'm in
kind of a hole.

And I'm thinking back over
old intelligence operations

and I remember
Sergeant "Hound Dog" Rockford.

I remember
Operation Kettle Drum.

A duffle bag with
a half a million dollars

and you ran
the course, baby.

And I remember lugging
your bleeding carcass

over 15 miles of
frozen Korean real estate.

Well, I'm not the same guy.

I'm not calling
in old markers.

I'm just betting that
you're the kind of guy who pays his debts.

And that you're
the kind of guy that...

Okay, doggone it,
I'll say it.

The kind of guy who
still loves his country.

Come...

Oh, Colonel.

Let's hear it.

That's my Hound Dog.

Okay, it's
a covert operation.

Now, it's top security,

but it's not
judged dangerous.

It's in the
political section,

and we're calling it
Operation Net Serve.

Now the government may,
and I repeat,

may want to send the U.S.
Ping-pong team to Vietnam.

Now we sent those guys
to China two years ago

and it opened up
the whole country, okay? Same deal in 'Nam.

Now Operation Net Serve
is just you taking a suitcase

with 100 grand American

to swap with the
middleman in a public place

for 100 grand worth
of slope money.

Now, that's the caper.

You're on the firing line,
five minutes max.

Why me, Colonel?
Why not one of these guys?

We don't want to use
any agent with current field experience.

If the word gets out
that, say, Whipple there is making the switch

all these foreign
bureaus will realize

that we're trying to
establish relations with the 'Nam government.

Now, we don't want
them to know about it till it's over.

So, we use a stowaway.

Some guy that
doesn't belong. You.

And if anybody finds out,

it's just a head scratch
and nobody connects it with Uncle Sammy.

I really don't wanna
do this, Colonel.

Well, you're handing me
a big problem.

But, like I said, I'm not
the kind of guy to try to rope in an old debt.

I'm just a guy
trying to do a job.

Okay, fellas. Meeting's over.
We got a wet one. Let's go.

Colonel...

In?

In.

Okay. Now, Whipple,
there, goes with you.

He handles the payload
until you make the switch.

You're only gonna be
carrying the ball for five minutes.

Whipple,
let's sign it over.

Pull it over.

Okay, everybody off.

Smoke them
if you got them

and give them hell, baby.
Give them hell.

Hound Dog, huh?
That's your handle? That's...

Boy, I'll tell you,
Mr. Rockford,

this is all really
exciting to me.

See, I've only
been in the field two weeks.

I was in the
research division in Washington

and then I kept applying
for field duty,

but all I've done so far
is drive an embassy car for two weeks.

I don't know,
it's just...

All you've done is what?

Well, that's why
I'm the control on this one.

See, I'm an agent
but not that well-known.

So there's a good chance,
even if they spot me,

they won't be able
to make me.

And from everything
Howling Mad told us about you,

well, you can sort of
help me through this one.

I'm supposed to help you?
I love it. That's terrific.

I'm supposed to help you.
That's the arrangement?

Well, like they said,
this is a low risk venture.

That's another reason
I was picked.

Hey, don't worry.

Don't worry?
Hey, what have I got to worry about?

Why should I worry, huh?

I mean, all this
is just a little advance work

for a ping-pong
tournament, right?

Right, sir.
That's all it is.

Oh, wow, postcards.

Wait a minute. I wanna
send one to my wife.

She's back in D.C.
I promised I'd write her every day.

We're four months
pregnant with our first.

You don't even show yet.

I'll be right back,
Hound Dog. Hold on.

ROCKY: There you are.

Say, what is this?
First I was with you, then I'm without you,

and then I see you
on another tram and I miss the tram.

Where you been?

Yeah, I went to pick
you up a cigar, Dad.

I don't smoke.

WHIPPLE: Okay, I got them.

This must be your father
you were telling me about.

I was?

Hi. I'm Dwight Whipple.
I met your son, Jim, on the tram.

I suggested we share
my car on the way to the hotel.

It's parked
right below here.

It turns out we're all
staying at the Royal Surf.

Well, now, that's a
real coincidence, huh?

Not really.

Well, let's go get
your bags and head to the hotel, okay?

He's headed toward baggage.

Yeah, we got them, brah.

First time in Hawaii,
Mr. Rockford?

First time.
How about you, Mr. Whipple?

Oh, please. Dwight.
All my friends call me Dwight.

What do your
enemies call you?

Well, I suppose
if I had any, they'd call me Dwight, too.

All my friends
call me Rocky.

You see, Jim here
and me, we got the same name, Rockford,

so my friends
call me Rocky.

You know, I was trying
to get my real close friends to call me Whip.

But, I don't know,
it doesn't seem to stick.

I guess I'm not
the sort of guy who gets a nickname.

Oh, nonsense.
Whip is a...

Well, it's a perfect
name for you. Just perfect.

You really think so?

Dwight Whipple is
such a straight name.

I like Whip better.

Well, of course anybody can
have a nickname, you know.

I wanted to
ask you something.

Is this
your first visit to Hawaii, Whip?

Yes, sir, first time.
How about you, Rocky?

First time for me, too.

Another thing I wanted
to ask you Dwight was...

I called you Dwight.
He's got a new name, Whip,

and I called him Dwight.

Well, it's just because
I'm so excited still from winning this...

You know, we won
this trip in the mail.

I'll bet you won't
believe that.

Oh, sure he will, Dad.
I think old Whip'll understand that just fine.

Aloha.

Aloha.
I'm Dwight Whipple.

These are the Rockfords.
We're checking in.

Mr. Whipple, you have
a message here, sir.

Oh, thank you.

I have to use a phone.
Is there a pay phone I can use?

Sure, right around
the corner, by the parking lot.

All the pay phones
are out there.

All the house phones
are here. Thank you.

ROCKY: This is my first
trip to Hawaii...

I gotta make
a phone call.

You lock this
in the trunk till I get back.

Oh, no, no,
nothing doing.

I'm not supposed
to have anything to do with that

until the switch is made.

Look, it's just a precaution.
I don't want to walk through the parking lot with it.

Just lock it
in the trunk and wait.

What's the problem?

All right,
but hurry it up, Dwight.

See? See?
It never sticks.

People always end up
calling me Dwight.

All right, move it,
will you, huh?

(ROCKFORD WHISTLING)

It's been 10 minutes.
You gotta move the car, sir.

Oh, all right. Look...

Where'd you say
those phones were?

Right around
the corner, sir.

Okay, I'll be right
back, okay? Just a minute.

Hey, sonny, you sure have
taken to disappearing a lot lately.

Where you been?

Did you find one of them
little wahines or Leilanis?

Whatever they call them.

That's Dwight's suitcase.

You mean old Whip,
don't you?

You know, he's right
about that, old Whip. It just don't fit him.

He's no Whip.
He's more of a... More of a...

Dwight?

Yeah, well, isn't he liable
to be needing his luggage?

Oh, no, Dad.
I got a feeling

he's not gonna be
needing much of anything anymore.

You're just sore because
you throwed away that invite

and I found it.

And now you're trying
to wreck our trip.

Dad, why don't you
go downstairs

and get one of those
nice rum drinks?

You know, they put
flowers on the top.

They float them on there.
The whole thing. You'll love it.

What are you
gonna be doing?

I'll just stay here
in the room and kick the walls, okay?

Now, look, I got something
I gotta work out.

Would you just give
me a minute, please?

You know, I just don't
understand you no more.

That's cause I'm
deeply complicated and moody.

Bullheaded.

In trouble.

(SIGHS)

This is Mr. Rockford
in Room 613.

Could you tell me
what room Mr. Whipple is in?

OPERATOR:
Room 612. But he hasn't checked in yet, sir.

Room 612. Thank you.

(PHONE RINGING)

(DOOR OPENS)

What's wrong with you?
What are you doing?

Look, this is
a respectable hotel.

Ain't no son of mine
gonna be Peeping Toming around.

Hush, Dad, hush.

Well, I ain't going
downstairs and drink alone neither.

No.

Dad, will you please
be quiet, just please?

I want to know
what in tarnation is going on here.

(SHUSHING)

Dad, just shut up
or get out.

(WHISPERS) Shut up?

You ain't never said
that to me since you was a little boy

and I put you over
my knee and banged some sense into you.

Dad, I'm not fooling,
now. Either shut up or get out. Go on.

Hey, of all the...

Well, ladies, go ahead.
I'm sorry I'm late.

Back to work, girls.

Excuse me, my name
is Jim Rockford.

I placed a call
to the federal building a few minutes ago.

I'm expecting a return
call from a Mr. Gordon Lyle.

It's extremely important
that I be paged when the call comes in.

It's official
government business.

Yes, sir.
I'll have you paged. Where will you be?

In the lanai area.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Well, they call us
the Rockfords, Rocky and Jim.

Everybody calls you Rocky
'cause they like you.

Especially me.

How long you been
growing this, huh?

You been screaming at me

like I was some old
duffer that don't have no rights at all.

And then you told me
to shut up.

Your own Pa.
"Shut up," you said.

You ain't never told me
to shut up in all your life.

Dad, I know, I know.

Hey, you're right.

But, Dad, there is
something going on

and believe me
when I tell you

I can't tell you
what it is.

I wish I could,
but I can't.

Well now,
that's just dandy.

That is just hunky-dory.

Dad...

All right, all right.
I'll tell you this much.

I'm working for
the government.

I've been asked to do
something for the government.

Oh, no. No, no, no.
I ain't falling for that one.

I'm telling you
something, sonny,

you better straighten out
and start acting right.

Yeah. Okay, Dad, all right.
Hey, I will. I promise, okay?

Tell me you're sorry you
told me to shut my mouth.

Come on,
you know I'm sorry.

Hey, it was a
terrible thing to say. I know that, Dad.

Okay. Why don't we go
down to the beach? There's lots going on.

We could rent us
one of those little fishing boats.

Oh, well, Dad, I want to
hang around the lanai area. I'm expecting a call.

But what the hey.
Come on, let's go on down to the beach, huh?

You gonna lug that thing?

Yeah, well, who knows?
Find old Whip down there maybe.

And it's perfect
height to sit on, huh? Come on, let's go.

WOMAN ON PA: Mr. Rockford,
Mr. James Rockford. Please pick up the house phone.

Dad, that's the call
I've been waiting on.

Why don't you go on down?
I'll be down there in a minute. Okay?

All right.

You ate the pill, Rockford.
Really left me hanging.

You were supposed to be
at the meet 20 minutes ago.

I got a call from my people.
The Vietnamese middleman is going herky-jerky.

You wanna slow down?
What happened to all the P six security, huh?

You're belching this
out to a half a dozen switchboard operators.

And I've got one
hell of a reason why I didn't make the meet.

Hey, baby, there's
a time for security

and there's a time
for running like hell.

As for excuses,
I ain't interested.

And you tell Whipple
to get his butt in gear.

He's already dropped
two grades for screwing this up.

Oh, he's dropped a lot
more than two grades.

Try six feet.

Give it to me fast
and don't leave out anything.

He went out to
answer a phone and he never came back.

So, I went
looking for him.

I found some postcards
he bought on the ground next to the telephone.

I went up to his room
looking for him.

I found a couple of Hawaiians
tossing his room around.

I ended up dodging
a little lead,

and here I am,
in the lobby of the hotel

with this suitcase
in my hand.

And I don't mind
telling you, Smitty baby,

I'm starting to sweat.

Okay.

The play we called in
the huddle is a loser.

From here on,
we audiblize.

You take the suitcase.

You wait where you are
for exactly five minutes, then head straight out.

Gordon Lyle will pick
you up in front. He'll have the new meet.

I'll get back to
my Vietnamese middleman

and we'll set up
a new location.

Okay, let's line them up.
What've you got?

(SIGHS) 3:15.

You're fast.
Make it 3:10.

You carrying?

No. I came here
to play in the sand. Remember?

I'll have Lyle check
a heater out for you. What do you like?

Just forget it, huh?
Let's get on with this thing and get it over with.

Make it a.38
with hollow points.

And, baby,

be tricky, be tough
and be a tiger.

Oh! Yeah, I was just
trying to throw it

and, see, make it stick.

It's a...
It's a little game.

I saw a guy do this once.
It's really a little trick, you know, it's...

It's harder than I thought.

I been sitting down
on the sand waiting for you. When are you coming?

Yeah, well, Dad, I've
got a couple of things I want to do.

It'll take me 10, 15 minutes,
half hour at the most, huh?

Look, Dad, it's 3:10.

Why don't you go down
and rent a fishing boat for us, huh?

We'II... We'll go out
and do a little sunset fishing.

I got money. Besides,
we can bill it to the room

and let Mason's
Department Store pay for it.

All expenses.

Right, right. I'm glad you
thought of that, yeah.

Okay, Dad, I'll see
you in 45 minutes to an hour.

Dad, I'm sorry.

(LAUGHING)

I know what you're
thinking. Yeah.

No, you see, I'm with
the Royal Hawaiian Repertory Company.

Yes, we're doing
a play here in the main room tonight.

It's called the Money Machine
and, oh, this is just props.

Yeah.

It's a good, good, good, show.
Good show.

Enjoy.

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Oh, boy! Hope you'll
like the show.

(HONKING)

That's for you.

I don't want that.

Sign the receipt.

We're going to a place
called the Banyon Garden Restaurant.

I don't want the gun,
okay?

Colonel Smith said
you were good people.

Don't give me problems.
Okay, Mr. Rockford?

Give you problems?
Is that some kind of joke?

Just take it.

Now, I don't like this
Banyon Garden meet.

It's kind of a hangout
for wrongos and commies.

Our middleman is
spooked. He wants to transfer on his turf.

That's why
you take the heater.

That's great.

The guy you're meeting
is named Lance Soo.

Lance Soo?

You walk in the
Banyon Garden Restaurant you ask for his table.

You sit down.
He'll be there.

You open his bag
and check the goods.

You know what
'Nam money looks like?

How would I know that?

That's 100 dong note.

That's what you'll
be looking at. Bundled in packs of 100.

You pick one at random
off the bottom and you count the notes.

He'll do the same with yours.
You close up, you get out.

You said it was gonna
take five minutes.

It's gonna take
longer than five minutes.

Yeah, but who's
counting, right?

Oh, yeah, and, Rockford,
when you sit down,

try and get the
gunfighter's seat.

Oh, boy.
Low profile, no risk, a piece-of-cake operation.

Not the slightest
hint of danger.

Now you want me to sit
with my back to the wall and pack a gun.

Well, somebody's
in the game who doesn't belong.

Things change.

One little question, huh?

Go.

If all we're doing
is just picking up some funny money

for a bunch
of ping-pong players,

why don't we just regroup
and reorganize, huh? What's the rush?

I don't know.

All I know is
the secretary of state wants this dough now.

I'll be damned
if I'm gonna disappoint him.

I don't want that kind
of smell in my package.

Just stay frosty
and don't panic.

Colonel Smith said we
can count on Hound Dog.

Hound Dog. You wanna
know where I got that nickname?

I was wounded in Korea.
Colonel Smith picked me up,

threw me over his shoulder
and carried me 15 miles in the snow.

And every step he took,
I howled like a hound dog.

That's right.

Just don't screw up,
'cause this time it's my braided hat.

Excuse me.

Could you show me
to Mr. Lance Soo's table, please?

I'll talk to you later, baby.

Is he here yet?

Came in about five,
six minutes ago.

What you got
in your suitcase?

Laundry.

He came in with
his laundry, too.

He's got a suitcase
just like yours.

Where's the table?

Right this way.

This the table?
Where is he?

Maybe he's out
doing his laundry.

Who you work for?

I never seen you
around here before.

Are you with
the company or what?

I'm just a guy on vacation.

Just a guy on vacation.

Well, Mr. Guy on vacation,
let me get you a waitress, okay?

Hi.

Hi. Was there a man here
a minute ago?

Oh, yeah.
He went to the lua.

You know,
the men's room.

What'll you have?

I think I'll have
a glass of water. My mouth is getting dry.

Okay.

There you go.

Thank you.
Where is the lua?

Straight down there.

No! No!

(GRUNTS)

INGRAM: Welcome to
bleeding paradise, mate.

Well, you at the helm
yet, spunky?

Or shall we be waiting
for your noggin to clear a bit more?

Who are you?

Me? I'm Dutch Ingram.

I'm the bloody king
of this stretch of beach.

And you,
you're the bloke

that's gonna tell me
why you got the money

that was supposed to
be delivered to Lance Soo.

And while you're at it,
you can tell me who packed Lance in,

'cause I don't take kindly
to my blokes being dirked.

Me tell you?

I walked into the toilet
and the man was already dead.

Few hours ago
I was just a guy on an airplane,

a tourist and now...

Oh, hey, come on.

My head is killing me.

Got a bit of
a throbber there, have you, mate?

Probably the worst
headache I've ever had. What'd you give me?

Well, I didn't give you
the mickey.

But I'll split your
bloody melon in half

if you don't tell me
what I want to know.

Well, just let me
get something straight here, now.

Lance Soo
worked for you,

you're the
Vietnamese middleman,

but your name
is Dutch Ingram.

I love that.

Right. And these three
laughing blokes are from the Vietnamese government.

Now they were to supply
the 'Nam money

and you were supposed
to supply the bundle of U.S.

The Vietnamese government?
I mean, they know about the money switch?

I thought it was
some kind of surprise.

No, this kind of deal works
on lots of levels.

There's all kinds
of deals going, mate.

These three gifts
are probably splitting up a piece of the change.

But it don't pay to look
too close to that, it don't.

Hey, look, you got
what you came after. You got the money.

I mean, why don't
you let me go, huh? I don't know anything.

I see.

Well, now what was you
planning to do with this bit of machinery, huh?

Was you planning to
shoot up the bleeding hotel?

Come on.
Would you untie me?

I mean, my head
is really splitting.

Untie him.

I'll tell you
what we'll do, spunky.

You and me, we'll go
and call your friends in the federal building

and they will give us
the poop or you will get the pipe.

Come on, love,
come on, now.

(GROANING)

(YELLS)

ROCKFORD: Angel.

Aloha!

Hey, Jimmy,
what's happening?

It's great of you
to let me use your crib, man.

You wouldn't believe
the problems I went through

to try and bum
a ride over here.

All right, Angel. Please.
I got a terrible headache.

The old rumba del
grande's got you in the pineapple, Jimmy?

What are you doing here?

When I heard my partner
was coming over to Hawaii, all expenses paid,

I said to myself,
"Now what is the one thing

"that they ain't got
in paradise yet?"

And it come to me
out of the blue.

They ain't got
an angel in paradise.

So, I grudge grind an
airline and got myself a hot ticket and here I am.

Now I'll tell you, Jimmy,
what we gotta do is

we gotta go downstairs
and we got to...

We gotta go downstairs
and we gotta tell that comedian

in the French general's
uniform to let me sign your name.

Then we can stick those
cheapos at Mason's Department Store with my tab.

Out.

Huh?
Out. Out. Out. Out!

Well, did I hear you correct?
Did you say, "Out"?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Out!

Yeah.

Are you James Rockford?

ROCKFORD: Yeah, I...

We have a search warrant
for your room and your car.

Thank you, Mr. Rockford.
And if you decide to use our floral service

for your luau,
just call me at the Bouquet Boutique

and we'll provide
full service for you.

We'll also handle the
bar and the barbeque. I'll send you a price.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Jimmy? What's
going on, Jimmy?

Shut up, Angel.
The less you say, the better.

What is this?

This is your rental car.

No, I didn't
rent this car.

No, it was rented
by a man named Dwight Whipple.

That's not what
it says here.

It says this car
was rented by you this afternoon at 12:45.

Well, I don't care
what it says. I didn't rent the car

and that's all
there is to it.

Look, I'd like
to call my lawyer.

Fine.

You call him.
First, we're gonna open the trunk.

I'm not with him.

ROCKFORD: Why?

Terrific.
It just keeps getting better and better.

Book him. Murder one.

McENROE: Look,
Rockford, I can't give out that information.

How do I know
you're really Rockford,

not just some guy just
pretending to be Rockford?

Look, who's gonna be
pretending to be me?

Come on,
Captain McEnroe, be a buddy, huh?

Easy for you to say,
be a buddy.

You're just
a private detective.

Your pension's
not on the line.

Well, could you just
tell me the hotel they're staying at in Canada?

If you were really
who you say you are,

you would know
they're not in Canada.

Of course they're in
Canada. He and Peg took the 4:30 flight

to Vancouver last Wednesday.
I took them to the airport.

Rockford, Becker tells
me you have season tickets to the Lakers.

All right. You can
have first pick of any game you want, Captain.

Well, when I go,
I like to go to more than one,

sort of, like,
have a basketball weekend, as it were.

Any three games you want,
Captain, okay?

Okay. But if I tell you,
Rockford, I want it clearly understood that

this is our secret and
that you and I never spoke.

Yeah, all right, all right.
Come on. Come on. Where are they staying?

Okay, they're not in Canada.
They're at the...

WOMAN:
Hawaiian Garden Hotel.

ROCKFORD:
Dennis Becker's room, please.

(PHONE RINGING)

Dennis, you know, I think
we ought to go fishing to those reefs out there.

Good idea.

Yeah?

ROCKFORD: Aloha, Dennis.
How's Vancouver?

Jim. Is that you?

That's right.
It's your old buddy, Jim.

Same one who took
you and Peg to the airport

so you wouldn't
have to leave your car there

while you were
vacationing in Canada.

Jim, this is not
what you think. It's really not.

You know, it's sort of
a policeman's holiday

and I'm down here
with a couple of guys from the department

and it just wouldn't have
looked right if I had taken those tickets from you.

And so what I did is,
I had to tell you a little white lie

because I didn't
wanna hurt...

Jim, how you doing?

How's the Royal Surf?

Well, I really wouldn't know.
I've only been there for a matter of moments.

Guess where I am now?

At the bar?

Close. They got a lot
of bars in here.

You wanna try again?

The jail.

Yeah, that's right.

And as usual, I...

I'm gonna need you
to run a license plate for me.

The way they're
treating me in here,

I don't think they plan
on helping me out.

Kay and Peg aren't gonna
want to go fishing.

They're gonna want to go
on that catamaran cruise.

Listen, you work it out.

I got my stock broker
on the line over here, okay?

Oh, okay.

Jim, give me the plate
and I'll call it in for you.

Thanks, Dennis.
It's an Hawaiian plate. 8EO457.

It's a black limo,
four door.

Could you tell me
what you're in for?

Murder one. What else?

I just love it here.

I'm having more fun
than a frog in a plate of warm water.

Would you make it quick,
Dennis, please?

Yeah, I'll get right
back to you. Aloha.

I'm telling you, Sergeant,
this man's being picked up

by the federal government
and that's all there is to that.

I'm afraid I don't
understand what's going on here, Colonel.

That's because
you're not supposed to understand.

This is a top security
government mission

and this man
Rockford's on my team.

But we're filing homicide
charges against him.

You think I care.
You wanna book this clown for murder one,

that's fine with me.

All I'm telling you
is that I'm not through with his carcass,

and inside of five
minutes, I want him back in my custody.

Here, here's all
the numbers right here.

Pentagon,
state security building.

The whole box of cookies
is right there in your mitt.

Now, let's go.
Hubba, hubba.

(SIGHS)

Of course, I'll have to
have my captain okay this.

All right, right. Let's go.
I gotta be on a flight to Hong Kong in an hour.

Do you think
we could stop at a drugstore

and get me some
aspirin or something?

Oh, come on, baby.
Be tough, be a tiger.

ROCKFORD: Peg told me
where to find you.

It was nice of you to go
all the way downtown, Dennis.

I come all the way
down here

and I find some
military attach� bumped you loose.

Yeah, well,
I got a little juice.

They got
the charges dropped.

Yeah, well,
don't you believe it.

The way I get it,
this guy Colonel Smith

just signed and took
custody of you.

You're still up for killing
this Whipple character.

Thanks for the tip, Dennis.
Listen, how about that plate?

Well, the car is registered
to a guy by the name of Dutch Ingram.

They got about
a half a dozen addresses on him,

most of them are NG.

But I did get
a piece of intelligence from Okemoto here.

He tells me that
Ingram is staying out on the beach.

The address is
2346 Lanai,

north of the city.
You got it?

Yeah, I got it.
Thanks, Dennis.

I'm sorry to put you
through all this.

Hey, no sweat. That's
why I came down here.

If I don't run a plate
every couple of hours, my hands start shaking.

All right.
See you soon.

Here's three or four
aspirin, courtesy of your federal government.

Thank you.

Say, I just wanted
to tell you I'm sorry that Whipple got iced.

Hey, he was a soldier
doing a soldier's job

and he ended up with
his dog tags in his boot

like half a billion
other soldiers.

I only hope when I get mine
it's in the line of duty.

Yeah, that's what
I'm hoping for, too.

I mean, who wants
to go out looking at a vase of roses

when you can get your
head blown off in an alley, right, Colonel?

You're really funny,
Rockford. You're in my custody. Come on.

From what I've seen
so far, you need a lot of looking after.

Let's go.

SMITH: What's the
address of the guy who owns the black limo?

ROCKFORD: 2346 Lanai Avenue.
His name's Dutch Ingram.

Okay. We're parked
in front of this dump. How about some backup, fellas?

LYLE O VER RADIO:
We're rolling on it, Colonel.

Okay. This is
a pincer action.

Rockford and I go
in the front door.

You guys hold the beach
and the side of the house.

Now, when I say move,
I want you to come in,

and when you come,
I want to see lead in the air.

LYLE: Colonel, what about
you and Rockford?

You'll both be
in the crossfire.

Hey, I can take
care of my buttons.

Just do what I said, okay?

Damn, I love this
kind of an operation.

I haven't been
in a good fire fight in two years.

You know,
from what you told me,

I think this guy, Dutch,
is playing both ends against the middle.

He was set
to rip this deal off when I contacted him.

And kill his own man
to do it? It doesn't wash.

Hey, this isn't some
sleazy divorce case in L.A., pal.

This is top flight
international spy work.

You take a guy like Dutch,
he works for everybody.

He's a freelancer.

Why, the last two years,
he's been on the Russian, English payroll

and once, two months ago
in Spain,

he was on the Italian,
Swiss and East German payrolls at the same time.

Why, he wouldn't hesitate
to set up his sister and sell her for fish bait.

I still don't buy it.

Well, we'll find out.
Let's go ring that doorbell.

Now?

You heard me.

Let's confront that, limey,
and find out. Now get moving.

Oh, come on.

You remember
what happened in Korea

when some yellow-belly
didn't wanna climb the hill.

Let's go. I can hardly
wait to get in there.

Is Dutch in?

And who shall I say
is calling?

Tell Dutch that
John Smith's here to see him.

Is that a blooming joke?
John Smith, he says.

Hey, honey, get your
bon-bon moving. Do it.

I don't suppose
you're still planning on announcing us.

You disappoint me, mate.

You're disappointed in me?

Well, that's one
for the flag.

You set up this double-cross,
didn't you, Dutch?

Hey, mate, I set up
the deal with the embassy blokes here.

I also sent Lance Soo
down to the meet.

And you send in this ringer
with no game experience

and I lose my best man
and wind up picking my nose

which I do not like.
That is what happened.

Since I called you in
on this, I'm for sure gonna get to the bottom of it.

Come on, we're leaving.

Where do you think
you're going?

We're going into an
agency cold drop where we won't be disturbed

until I get
the right answers.

Not bloody likely.

Phil! Shawn!

It doesn't change a thing.
You're still the first to go.

Oh, I see. The old
American favorite, the standoff.

All right, I'll play.

Well, I'd rather not.
Is there some place I could wait

until you guys
are finished?

Where'd you find him?

Look, there are times
when everyone is right.

This seems like
one of those times.

Now, if I might make
a suggestion.

Why don't we all
just back away from this thing

and make a time
for a new meet when cooler heads prevail?

Just shut your hole,
Rockford.

This guy's dead, either
way. Come on, Dutch.

All right, guys,
take him!

(GUNS FIRING)

Move, move, move, move!

Freeze! Drop it!

Lose that weapon.

SMITH: No causalities,
huh, boys?

MAN: We're okay, sir.

Come on.

Rockford.

(ROCKFORD GROANING)

Rockford,
you did good.

You love a good
fire fight, do you?

Corpsman,
let's get some aid for the Hound Dog.

Don't touch me.

ROCKY:
This was gonna be our vacation.

We was gonna do nothing
but sit in the sun

and drink rum drinks.

I don't understand
what happened.

All I can say is
your son saved the life

of Colonel "Howling
Mad" Smith.

And, sir, that's
something that's never been done before.

Colonel Smith, he saves
other people's lives.

And that's about it,
I guess.

Now you know
everything I know.

Can I go home now?

Hey, baby, I arranged for
a Coast Guard chopper to take you to the airport

where a Coast Guard
plane is gonna fly you back to the mainland

and Uncle Sam is gonna
pay all the bills.

Goodbye.

You might be glad to know
that the HPD's dropping those murder charges.

They booked Dutch Ingram
for killing Dwight.

They don't need you
for the trial,

so you can just
haul tail for home.

Who killed Lance Soo?
That's the one I can't fit.

Hey, it's a tough
game, baby.

Lance got it from
the Kimotto brothers.

Yeah, but they work
for Dutch Ingram.

Well, they also work
for themselves. They're Hawaiian mafia.

Now Dutch, on the other
hand, was working for us and for himself.

Now the Vietnamese guys

were working for
their government and for themselves.

Sounds like the only ones
working for us was us.

Hey, that's the way
it is sometimes, baby.

You gotta have eyes
in the back of your combat helmet.

This is no place for
a grunt with no guts.

But you got guts,
Hound Dog.

I'm proud of you.
I recommend you.

This whole thing turned
out better than a grenade in a wedding cake.

We didn't make
the exchange,

but we took
five no-goods off the playing field.

I guess you
know we're even. Right, kid?

Can I go home now?

Done.

Dad, I don't really enjoy
arguing with you.

Well, I'm going back
with you and that's all there is to it.

Well, it's ridiculous.

There's no reason
why you shouldn't stay.

No, sir, I gotta
make sure that you're all right.

SMITH: Come on.
Hubba, hubba. Let's go.

Come on, come on,
hurry up.

I gotta catch a flight
to Hong Kong in 10 minutes.

(ROCKFORD GROANS)

Which airline?
We better hurry, sir.

Hey, I'm not going
anywhere. I just wanted to hurry him on his way.

What a disappointment.
Can you believe that guy

just stands there
and takes a slug like a big, dumb buffalo?

A real no-brainer,
right, sir?

Yeah, but, you know,
I hate to see any of my guys get tagged.

Why don't you do
the paperwork on this, Lyle?

You might even
want to sign it.

I hate to have that kind of
mud in my folder.

After all, he was in
your direct command.

Yes, sir.

BECKER: I wonder
what happened to Jim.

I was expecting
him to call.

Yeah, you said the
HPD still wanted him

for questioning
on the Lance Soo murder?

Yeah. But they couldn't
find him, either.

But if he tries to leave
the state, it's really gonna be hard on him.

BILLINGS: Well, they'll
just drag him back with a subpoena.

ROCKY: There she goes,
sonny, Hawaii.

You think we'll
ever come back?

ROCKFORD: If I ever
come back, they'll have to take me in irons.

You comfortable, sonny?

Yeah, I guess. And since
we're off the ground,

maybe you could
let go of my hand, Dad.

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