Original subtitles

Zapredelie Studio

Abrau-Durso

Producers Renata LITVINOVA and Zemfira RAMAZANOVA

Present

Olga KUZINA

Tatiana DRUBICH

The portal is opening...

Renata LITVINOVA

The portal is opening...

The portal is open

Nikolai KHOMERIKI, Sati SPIVAKOVA, Alisa KHAZANOVA

Written and directed by Renata LITVINOVA

Music by Zemfira RAMAZANOVA

Designers: Tatiana URKOVA, Natalia SELINSKAYA

Designers: Tatiana URKOVA, Natalia SELINSKAYA

RITA'S LAST FAIRY TALE

What an awful town

Not a single doorway

all the old buildings have been demolished

Was it the government, or the people?

I don't know; they took down all the pretty buildings. Disgusting

Why is it dead?

Unfreeze!

Can you bring me some tea? You have some too

Today we're processing the case of Rita Gautier

Freeze!

Margarita Gautier...

Born in 1 977

I had to take the lowest-paying job, in the auxiliary wing of Hospital No. 20

There was no other way for me to control this particular woman

I think we should be taking notes

RITA'S LAST FAIRY TALE

You're all settled in?

I forgot to introduce myself: I'm Tanya

Can I sit down? They don't have a single chair around here

- Nice to meet you - And my name is Tanya Immorta

Immorta: is that a surname or a nickname?

Nickname? It's a famous surname

The whole university remembers my name

They can't touch me with a name like that

- Mine is Gautier - I know your name is Gautier

We were at university together

I was a year behind, a year behind. You don't remember me?

No

- That's strange - Where's Nadia?

Nadia?

I'll be representing Nadia. I'll be accompanying you everywhere

And where am I going?

Well...

there

What do you mean? Am I staying here?

Of course

This is your ward

Of course this is the auxiliary wing. Everybody hates it here

Every year, they want to demolish it. But I love this wing

First of all, you can smoke here,

and our head doctor never shows her face around here

Where are the windows?

What do you mean? Right there

They've just been bricked over a bit, to reinforce the foundation

We got a huge crack right here

- Smoke? - Yes, thanks

Actually, this is your lucky day:

this is all in your honour...

May I call you Rita?

We discharged your roommate to spend the night at home

I smoke too much. I should quit

Can you imagine? I'm a doctor,

and I don't even know what's wrong with me!

Don't worry; there's no reason to quit now

I was saying,

you've got one nasty roommate

- Really? - She's been here a year now

Broke two beds already

Keeps fidgeting and writing all the time

We call her the Record Keeper

She chronicles the lives of her roommates

She's gone through a lot of roommates in the last year, so she writes about them

Eavesdropping, spying... Unpleasant woman

But I won't be staying long?

I'm only here for a week. Right?

- Well, I don't know - But where's Nadia?

We were classmates, and she sticks me in this awful ward

She doesn't hold any sway these days

Don't be mad at her

She has no influence

She's completely depressed. She's got so fragile

She sits around for hours on end sometimes

You can't even get her to see patients. She doesn't go out

She's started drinking

That's right; she's got into hard liquor

I don't like hard liquor. I prefer wine, things like that...

I like champagne

Ah, I love champagne

I'll keep that in mind!

OK, I'll be going now. I'll take your cigarette butt for you

- So, get yourself settled - Thanks

I'll call that Nadia woman for you. Hold on

Ah, Nadia

Shouldn't you be going? Your friend Rita is... waiting

Just a sec

In a minute

She's been waiting a while

That's her calling

- The briefing is starting - Coming

You're all smoking again

Besaborkin, this isn't the morgue. Put on your white coat

- Hello - Hello

Well, who's delivering the report today?

- Alevtina - I know. I'm doing the report today

- Let's go, let's go. Don't drag it out - Yeah, I know

Look where you put the ashtray

The only new arrival today is Nadia's friend,

Margarita Gautier, in the auxiliary wing

Meanwhile, we lost three people overnight and yesterday

All men, from the men's ward

Their deaths were expected, and Doctor Dupel

took them through all the necessary arrangements

Something's not right here

We lost three people overnight and yesterday

All men, from the men's ward

Their deaths were expected, and Doctor Dupel

took them through all the necessary arrangements

- March 13th. Should I announce the year? - No need

Thank you, Alevtina

Is it true the auxiliary wing is going to be demolished?

- OK, the briefing is over - Thank God

You're free to go

And please don't smoke. You're doctors!

I should take my bag with me

I nearly forgot mine too!

Seventy-five years old, and still smoking

Anna, wait for me

What's going on back there? How much longer?

Have patience

Here, Joseph from the hepatitis ward gave it to me

Cute guy, by the way. A nose like this

Have you heard? They've been seeing a woman in white in the new wing

Some of the dying patients see her

What woman in white?

I'll tell you

Two weeks ago, a woman died in the hepatitis ward...

- What was her name? - Krahoborova

So now she appears to people

Rosa saw her

Since when is Rosa dying?

- Right. - She's not dying!

She's from the gynaecology ward

Why do you think that only dying patients can see her?

I think that if Death respects someone,

it should visit them ahead of time.

To warn them, tell them to get ready,

make out a will

Of course, Death shouldn't look like that Krahoborova

I saw her. Ugly as hell

I'd like Death to appear as a well-dressed woman,

with a glass of champagne

And I want her to get to the point,

not beat around the bush. OK?

Sure!

What kind of dress would you like: black, yellow, green, or red?

I'd like it to be yellow

Just like Tanya

Yes, Death should look like you!

Well, thank you for your trust

I should go. I have to go to the lab, then go see Rosa

Look, it's so red

OK, can you lend me the brooch? Please, for a date?

I'm not giving it to you. You'll break it

You're so stingy! Just wait 'till you want something from me

What could I possibly want from the morgue? There's nothing to want

Just wait; you'll remember me when you really need something from me

- You forgot the flowers - They are for you

But watch out for her; she'll steal them

Regina, do you even have a medical degree? Bring me your diploma tomorrow

Allushka, could I have a cigarette?

You shouldn't smoke

I can do anything now

Personally, I would wear a green one!

Gautier, put that cigarette out. You can't smoke here!

She's allowed

Gautier, put out the cigarette

Gautier, where are you going?

- Why did you give her cigarettes? - She took them herself

In the world of humans, I tried to behave like a human

And... so that no one could blow my cover, figure out who I really was

I couldn't turn down the drinks,

because it was a tradition at that hospital

I couldn't turn down a single date with a man,

because the women of this town put great stock in dates with men

All that had a terrible effect on my shell, greatly damaged it

But I tried to stay hidden,

though the soul in my care, Margarita Gautier,

nearly blew my cover once:

she said she wanted Death to look just like me

Funny girl: I was her Death

This one gave me so much trouble

I didn't have time to turn it into a stuffed toy

Kolya!

- Can we come in? - Of course, of course

Come in, come in

Can you imagine, Nadia hasn't stopped by to see me once

Thank you

Your feet must be soaking wet

Give me your insoles

Give them to me

The radiator is so hot, they'll be dry in no time

Don't - my rash...

Gautier, it's time

Sorry

It's time for me to go

Don't forget the insoles

Why haven't I seen a doctor all this time?

Because nobody wants to work here

We're constantly getting flooded, and the doctors are all old.

They don't have the energy to come see you

I have a friend working here, Nadia. She's got an important job

Beautiful woman, black hair. She's not old

There are no beautiful women here!

Yes, there are!

Yes, but I'll be getting discharged soon

I don't even know what's wrong with me

Your friend doesn't want to scare you?

What do you have?

They couldn't find anything

Anyway, turn off the light. That's enough;

time for me to sleep. You can't smoke in here

It's OK. I'll finish my smoke; no one can hear

DREAM No. 1

- Nadia, where are you going? - Just stepping out for a minute

I'll be right back

No, there are no portals here. Can't find a single doorway,

because the mayor of this town keeps demolishing beautiful buildings

Hello

Freeze!

How did you manage to use the phone?

It hasn't worked in five years

Really? It worked just fine for me

- Young lady, I don't know you - I don't know you either

I'm new

And where are you from? Which ward?

I was just heading over to the morgue,

to celebrate my new job

What do you mean? It hasn't been functional in years

Are they opening it back up?

A decision has been made

to reopen the auxiliary wing of the morgue

Because... everything's falling apart around here...

because we're expecting a large influx of bodies

You haven't heard?

We might even have an outbreak of bubonic plague

I can't believe you haven't heard

- Bye - Bye

She's strange. Is that a stuffed toy?

...building 1 9 has been demolished, the portal doorway...

...building on Prechistensky Boulevard by

the municipal government and the Mayor himself...

Building 2 has been demolished...

6 Nikitsky Boulevard...

- Hey, what is that radio station? - Hey, hi there

Hello, hello!

It's sort of, you know, a scientific, medical radio station

Building 4/2, has been demolished, the portal doorway...

the building on Tverskoy Boulevard, building 1...

Hello, Serafim!

- Hello! - What an awful town, just terrible

The only pretty wing in the entire hospital,

and they've been trying to demolish it for years

- Do you have a light? - Here you go

Let me tell you, I can't get to any of my old addresses

All these beautiful buildings,

they've all been demolished and replaced by monstrosities

Terrible. Is it the government? Or the Mayor?

The government loves things like that

It's a terrible government

And the Mayor is terrible too. Just awful

See that statue? The real one is near my house,

hasn't been demolished yet

I know; it's Yuri Gagarin

That one was donated by one of our patients

Although he recovered, got better

So he donated Yuri Gagarin

He was a good-looking man

Yeah, and he died young

Have you heard? Do you know the secret about him?

- You mean about his death? - No, everyone knows about his death

About the statue

That every year on the 27th...

that's when, by the way?

That's thirteen days from now

That on the anniversary of his death...

For exactly ten seconds, he's all...

he stands there shaking

Or he goes like this, moves, you know, like this...

Just like this

- That's impossible - And lifts up his arms. I'm telling you!

It's right outside my window; I see it every day

I've never seen it do that

- What time does it do that? - No particular time

He always finds the moment when there're no witnesses,

to make sure no one sees him

He's got a special mechanism inside him. It's true, I swear

And where are you from?

Yes, I haven't told you why I'm here. I was just looking for doorways

Couldn't find anything

I was demoted yesterday. Now I work in the morgue

But that doesn't mean anything

I'm a close friend of Rita's

- Really? - Immorta

Kolya

So you must be Nadia?

No, what do you mean, Nadia?

No, Nadia went to the shop again. She's...

I'm an even better friend now, and a more recent one

Well, here, I brought a bribe

Is that money?

To put it towards some kind of improvements. Yes, it's money

I would take it, honestly

But it won't do any good. Otherwise, I would take it

- But... - That's a lot

Yes, a lot

Here she is. Don't say anything

- Hi - Act normal

Where have you been? You did all the tests a while ago

- Right - Right. I told him

Let's go, Serafim. Why are you hanging around here? Let's go!

- Are those for me? - Yeah

Thank you

I love you

Oh, an ashtray, hold on

Here you go

Rita. Goddamn

Rita, Rita

Rita, are you asleep?

Rita, you are so wonderful

I wanted to tell you how much I love you

You're disturbing my sleep

What?

You're pretty disturbing yourself

DREAM No. 2

We should get started...

We should get started

Mom, Mom is here

We should get started

Well, it's time. It's time

Everyone is here. How wonderful

What?

Mom is here

It's time, honey. Everyone is here

It's time. It's all ready for you

Get up. Time to carry her out

- Let's get on with it - Mom says it's time to carry you out

We should get started

Put them down

We should get started!

- Did you see what a cheap coffin they got? - Mom, let's not do it today

No, today, right now, we have to. Everyone is here

Let's begin

Let's begin

Now, everyone, gather round, gather round

Could someone give me a cigarette?

Look how beautifully it's all been arranged

- Isn't this joyful! - Who are these people?

Why ask such inappropriate questions? They're people!

- Mom, look, my fiance is here! - Leave me alone

I have to get my daughter ready

Gather round. And no smoking in here!

Mom, the matchmakers are here. My fiance is here

Who cares? I don't have time for him right now

- Mom, what about me? - I said, who cares?

He's going to leave!

- Time to carry her out, dear - Quick, call the pallbearers

Gather round, gather round

Don't be afraid

- I'm really scared - Easy, don't be scared

I'll hold your hand

- Everything will be OK - She's scared

It's time; we really have to go. That's the way it has to be

- Mom, talk to me - Pallbearers?

- Time to carry her out - Gather round, over here, everyone

- Let's get started - Music, please

It looks so meagre

Here, this is my best silk pillow. You can return it later

It has to be this way

Mom, can we do it tomorrow?

Take her out

And no smoking up there...

Honey...

Honey, don't smoke up there

It has to be this way, honey; gotta do it today...

it's time...

It's time...

That's how it has to be. It's time

I was dreaming...

they wouldn't let me say something important

Kept carrying me somewhere

Can I do your hair?

I'll brush it from the bottom of my heart

Please

I'm not looking

Hey... Listen, it hurts, seriously

It's OK

It's OK

- You have an interesting face - What kind of face?

It's kind of a baby face

You'll have a long life

So what kind of face do I have?

I like your hands

They're nice

Except, your fingers are short, no nails

But that's OK

There...

that's it

Hello

- I keep dreaming of you. I'd like to talk to you. - What?

I keep dreaming of you. I'd like to talk to you

Stop by sometime, tomorrow or the day after, whenever you want

What about today? I'd like to talk to you today

Can I come up right now?

That's all I need...

Nadia, come here

Quick

Kolya

Hey, Rita

It's been so long

- Why are you all dressed up today? - Well, you know, I have the...

I have to get a passport picture

You know I lost my passport, back on that day

- And I have to stop by the police station. - Careful

Lord... The police, my God

Listen, did you see?

- The test results are back - Yeah

- Are you waiting for me? - Go on, go on

There you go!

It's beautiful

Wait, this is how you'll be at the wedding ceremony

You'll be the most beautiful woman at the wedding!

Look:

this is you,

and this is me

Thank you. Are you proposing to me?

Once you get out of here, we'll be together

I love you

What do you think?

- What am I supposed to think? - What are we going to do?

We have to tell her. You tell her

You'll do it right, make a joke, ''ha-ha'', you know how

You mean I should just tell her, ''You're terminal''? I can't do that

Then what?

Maybe she'll still get better? It happens

- Couldn't she? - Not this time

So how long does she have? What do you think?

I think, maybe two, three weeks

We should take her out to a cafe, that's what we'll do

- Tanya... - To celebrate. No, to say goodbye

Because after all, we're her friends

Sweetie, just go. You were on your way somewhere?

- To get pictures taken - Go, get your pictures

I'll go get the pictures.

And you set a date, before it's too late

Please go, all right?

I actually feel better now.

Since we decided. What do you think?

I think this is terrible

I still think we're right

- Hello. Who are you looking for? - You work here?

No, I work over there. I mean,

here, but off in that direction a bit

I'm Petro. What's your name?

I'm Tanya

Going to be on duty a while today?

No, I'm almost done

You don't happen to have a cigarette, do you?

- Here you go - Thank you

How far around the corner?

I'm headed that way

Is this comfortable?

OK, I'm off

Bye

Around the corner, right?

Over there

It's an old temporary part of the wing

- I'm working there for now - What do you do?

She got another one

Is it far?

Right there...

What do you do?

They just banished me over there

- So you're currently in exile? - It's just, ah...

MORGUE

It's like...

Nice work

I barely have any bodies in there; I only have three bodies

I've got no business going in there

- No, you don't - How long are you going to be?

- I'll be back before you finish the cigarette - OK, all right

No smoking in there? It's not like they care

- No, it's best you stay outside - OK

No

- The lock keeps getting stuck - Let me help you

- Hands off, I'll be back myself - So I'll be waiting

OK

I was going to say something...

I'll change clothes

OK, good idea

OK

Hi

So, what do you think?

It's funny, not bad

Like a bouquet girl

Woman!

OK, I'm off

Well, it's unusual

Ah yes, there's something very important you should know

I fall in love...

irreversibly

I can work with that

Kolya...

Kolya...

Sweet Kolya

...the portal at 13/1 Solyanka, destroyed...

...the portal at 1 7 Bolshaya Nikitskaya Street has been destroyed...

...the portal at 1 2 Stoleshnikov Lane has been destroyed...

...building 58 has been destroyed...

...the Brusov Lane portal...

...the portal at 5/1 Prechistensky Boulevard has been destroyed...

You know, I've been here a year,

and it feels like as long as I'm here... in this ward...

they won't start the repairs

Why? What's the connection?

It's directly connected, but I can't explain it to you

''My roommate is going to die soon''

''I overheard a conversation in the hall today

Nadia was talking to Immorta, the new woman from the morgue

She's constantly visiting Gautier

Rita has barely a week to live,

and they decided, instead of telling her,

they'll invite her to a cafe, to say goodbye

Can you imagine? Meanwhile, Rita is going to die soon

On the 20th of March''

So, how are you getting along without me?

I'm waiting for you to come back

You know, you should get a haircut

Get a haircut before they let me out of here

When are they discharging you?

You should get a haircut

And you know, if anything happens,

I'll be holding a note for you in my hand

What do you mean, if anything happens? You're scaring me

You know, if I fall asleep before I can tell you something important

Or...

if the anaesthesia kicks in too fast. Don't be so dramatic

That's just how I am

I've been invited to an important meeting. I'll tell you later

Bye

Rita, Rita

Gautier

One second, let me take a picture

Just a sec. One more...

Perfect

Oh, look

Is that a dog?

Look, it's beautiful

I'm coming

This is our favourite cafe

- What do you have there? - I found it outside, lying in the snow

Hello

This is my sister Sara

She took a bus from Makhachkala

Hi

Can't get away from them. I'll take a picture

Zina, the wine! It's not poisoned

What should we get?

I was rushing, didn't want to be late

Well... Before you get drunk, I have something to talk to you about

We need to put up a screen, sorry. Is this OK?

Rita

Last will and testament

In case of my death, I, Margarita Gautier,

leave all my assets and personal belongings

to Nikolay Nikolayevich Serebryakov

I want my body cremated

Spread my ashes somewhere in the city:

throw them in the wind and duck

That's it

There

- What do you mean, there? - You have to sign it as witnesses

Who's Nikolay Nikolayevich?

Who's Nikolay Nikolayevich?

Kolya

Ah, him

- And you're leaving everything to him - The surname is so beautiful: Serebryakov

What does this mean,

your assets and personal belongings?

That's the flat, and everything in it

OK. Do you have a will?

Don't hold your breath

I have nothing to leave,

and more importantly, no one to leave it to

Let's have a drink. The papers are signed; let's have a drink

Your bill

A little more, please

Why do I always have to pick up the check?

Did you know she always picks up the check? Even for men

- Why didn't you hand the bill to me? - I can pay

- She's laughing - What's her problem?

Give it to me... Here

I have to get out of here; I don't feel well

Where is she going?

I'll go after her

That's beautiful

Hello

- Looks like it's stopped snowing - Is this wood?

- Yeah - That's dumb. I almost broke a tooth

You didn't pay for the real thing

I would order some for my sister, but forget it

- Beautiful weather! - What's so beautiful about it?

It's cold

What are you doing in there? Oh my God, how did you get in there?

Bye, mister

Got a light?

My God, what did you do to the window?

Can you please give me a light?

How did you get in there? What are you doing in there?

It's my house

What house?

My little house

Let's get out of here and go home. Come on

Please, for me

I don't want to go to the hospital

My God, this is terrible. Why did you get so drunk?

And look what you did to the window. Where did you get the Scotch tape?

Gautier. Where did you get the flowers?

Stop calling her Gautier. She has a first name

- Rita, what are you doing in there? - Be nice

Where did you get the flowers?

From the vase?

- Rita - What's she doing in there?

Look, she dragged the vase here, found some tape

I mean...

Let's go home

I don't want to go to the hospital

- You have to - I have an awful roommate

She's been there three years now

She's been there three years; she's sick of being there

Let's go home. You even have a light in here!

My God, you even got some kind of light bulb

Let's go home. Please, stop scaring me

- What? - I don't want to

-To do what? - To go die

Listen, Regina, we have to take the flowers

Gautier, why did you get so drunk? You're not supposed to drink

Where are we going?

- It's snowing - Yeah

Gautier, where did you get the flowers and the vase?

Where should I take them?

There

- What's the matter? - Can you believe it...

- I had a fight with Kolya - That's OK

I don't even have anyone to fight with

- You know, a really bad fight - Yeah

In a bad way

I don't even... no one ever...

I don't even have anyone to fight with. No one ever asks me what I think

No one ever asks me. So what do I think?

Regina

Don't talk to me. Just listen!

You're sure to destroy something

If not completely

I gather flowers and declarations of love

Loud laughter

You can't do that

I love you all

Soon, I will

Leave for faraway lands

Don't talk to me Just listen

You're sure to destroy something

Perhaps completely

I gather flowers and declarations of love

Loud laughter

You can't do that

I love you all

Soon, I will

Leave for faraway lands

Yes, it's time

Drink up

Listen, I'm really scared

Don't be scared; there's nothing scary about it

Drink up. Champagne, just like you wanted

Thank you

See, I remember everything

Well, goodbye

Quit staring. I'm so tired

Write this down

Rita Gautier had a very good life

Aside from the fact that supposed to die in three days' time

She was in love; she was loved

And I want to stress that we

always love those souls who are capable of love

The others are of no interest

As a result of negotiations with her

so-called friend Nadia (her surname doesn't matter),

it was decided that we would take Rita out to Cafe Beyond,

where she would read us her will and testament

And I want to stress that she began,

despite herself, to give me very important instructions

As a result, I got a yellow dress

At the most important moment, I poured her a glass of champagne and

accompanied her responsibly, and with all possible love

Write this down

After Cafe Beyond,

that very night, all the taps in the auxiliary wing were damaged

The place was flooded,

and there was no point in waiting

So Rita Gautier died that very night

While her beloved Kolya rushed about Moscow

As all beloved, he was the last to hear the news

Got it?

Let's start the briefing

Everyone's smoking again. You're doctors!

I bummed a cig in the hallway

It's the 27 March

We've had a great day today:

we haven't had a single emergency case

No difficult cases today

The patient, I forgot his name... You know the one, the contagious...

- Patient Prohorov - Yes, he was finally transferred

So we're having a wonderful spring day

No one has died today

The only death was Nadia's friend, Gautier

It happens

What are you staring at?

Poor thing; that's terrible!

So there you go...

Couldn't you have said it differently?

How ''differently'' was I supposed to say it?

I don't know, differently

The briefing is over!

Vasily, wait for me

Dmitry, my dear, we sat at the same desk in school

We were at university together.

We even took the entrance exams on the same day

Last year, do you remember,

she brought her girl with lymphatic leukaemia?

I'm begging you, don't autopsy her

I'm a nobody around here, I know, but she's my friend

But you have to be present at the autopsy

As her attending physician!

Do you want me to come with you?

I'm not stupid

I can see it in your eyes that everything is fine

- Please, Dmitry - Goodbye, I have to go

Vasily, I'm done! Let's go

- Can I please get out? - Why would you go and just upset yourself?

I wouldn't go

- Could you pass this on to my Rita? - Yeah

Gautier

So what do you think? Is she going to come see her friend?

I think she will

No smoking in here

She's here. She did come after all

What are you doing here? I told you not to come

I've been waiting for you just so I could stop you

- You shouldn't have - Go

You shouldn't have come

- Well? - Almost done

Good. Come see me afterwards

Sure

Later!

Close her up

Finish up here and close her up

Let's close her up!

Hello? I'm free now

Ah, here you are. Kolya brought these

Let's go

Idiots. Left the face uncovered

I'll hold them

Go on, Regina

There, it's covered now

We're done!

Look, look, she's got maggots on her collar

What?

You have maggots, maggots

She's got maggots all over her collar. Can't you see them?

- Look, she's touching them - What maggots?

- Did you see them? - No

She's got larva or something. Can't you see them?

There, one of them is about to fall

Let's go; it's cold in here

- Can you tell me what happened? - It's terrible

The medical examiner, what's his name,

Besaborkin, he did exactly what he always does

- And he did it again today - What did he do?

He was smoking, and he dropped the butt

right inside Rita's stomach

And closed her up with it inside. He's not right in the head

What about you?

Did you say something to him?

I didn't say anything, and no one else did either

- I see - And I didn't say anything either

There

Why not? Why didn't you say something?

I just didn't. I couldn't say anything

- Here, take them - No, you take them

OK, bye

I have to run: I have things to take care of

I'm sorry, but we do have to move the body

We're already breaking regulations

- Yes, thank you. Can I just have a few more seconds? - Yeah, OK

Kolya, my sweet Kolya

I will soon come back, unnoticed by anyone. Don't worry

Your Rita

That's it; you have to go

Mister

Thank you

Goodbye

So, after what happened with Margarita,

I tried to sort of humanize Nadia,

tried to involve her

Freeze!

Take this down. After all that had happened,

I took her to buy Rita a white dress, something to bury her in

Hey, I think it's here

Ah, she's already here. Hi

Regina, wake up

- Your shop window is smashed - I can see that. May I remind you that

half of this shop window is mine,

and it's your fiance who threw a brick through it

Is this the funeral home?

They're the funeral home. I'm hardware

But the window is shared

- Welcome to the world of the dead - Well, hello to you too

I'll be right there

You forgot your bag and your money in the morgue

Where's the will? Give me the will

One second. This is your kind of place

- Why say that in front of everybody? - Because I don't like this

You stay here. I'll take care of everything

Give me the money. We're coming

I'll pay you back after payday, in two weeks

- Why do I always have to pay? - I'm coming

- OK, wait here - Here, take this too

I'm going. I'll ask your opinion through the window

OK

Hello

Into Eternity Funeral Services welcomes you

Nice to meet you. Are you expensive?

We are time-tested!

Who are you looking to bury: a relative or a colleague?

Well... What's your name, by the way?

Yelisey

We have to bury - no, actually, cremate - a friend of ours

And buy one of those classic things, with a lid

- An urn? - Right, an urn

- We'll scatter the ashes ourselves - What do you mean, yourselves?

It's all in the papers, all according to the will

But it's illegal to scatter ashes within city limits!

Really? So don't tell anyone

There, she's coming, your fiance

You're still here? Bastard.

- She's insane! She threw a rock - Stop her!

I hate you

Stop her; she's drunk. She'll get hit by a car

Leave me alone, you creeps

She's crazy

Who the hell is she, anyway?

Why are you wearing a crown?

- This is a hardware store. We get better sales like this. - This is terrible

- Then I should buy something from you - Come on by

OK, I will

While you were over there,

I decided I won't scatter her ashes illegally

I'll buy your urn

And actually, we'll only do the first half of the ritual

Then we'll save up for the second part and hire you to bury her

That's too bad, but it's never too late to bury the ashes

But right now, we just want to cremate her. So sell us the urn, please

Where are you going to keep her ashes?

Why do you want to know?

At my place

- Just don't tell anyone - It's illegal?

It's bad for your personal life

Men can be so sensitive, afraid of ashes

I'm not afraid of things like that. Ashes are ashes

Right

OK, get the paperwork started. I agree to all your conditions

- Tell me, is this white dress for sale? - Yes, of course

- It's beautiful. - But it's only the front; it doesn't have a back

No back? Why?

- Because it's for the dead - The dead?

Nadia. Hey, Nadia

I found it, but it doesn't have a back. It's for the dead

That's no good

- Should we get it? - That's not right. No

Can't have a dress without a back. After all, we really liked her

Then here, look what else I have

My relatives brought it

- Is it expensive? - You should buy it

For the...

- For the wake? Should we get it? - OK

OK. How much?

I'll pay for the fish. I'll pay

- Really? It's not cheap - I'll pay, yes

- Unbelievable - Seriously?

- Of course. - OK, thank you so much

OK. I even have a plastic bag

So you will start the paperwork

- It's fresh. - Actually, this bag was for the dress

Thank you very much

- And you'll get the paperwork ready for tomorrow? - I'll take care of it

- It's urgent - I got it

Thank you. Then he'll pay you

I'll be outside

I'll wait for you by the door

Nadia, Nadia

Here's the fish. Put it in your freezer

Keep it down. OK, I have to go and take care of something

- What? Another date? - Just don't attract so much attention

Yes

- Tanya, where are you going? - He's so interesting

- Says he's not afraid of ashes - What ashes?

Very interesting; I need to check him out

Who, that one?

- Don't attract attention. Why are you lifting it up? - You traitor

Please, forgive me, please

OK, let's go

- Did they catch your fiance? - She got away again. She's a lively one

Look at her, going off on a date

- And you get a fish to take home - So what?

- Do you have space in your freezer? - I'll find space

She's always like that

Like what? What is she like?

Six months later

Hello Allushka

Hello

Give me a minute

Having a smoke, maggot?

Give me the cigarette

What's wrong?

Bastard

Bastard

- Got it, scumbag? - What are you doing?

Leave me alone!

- You're mad! - Scumbag, you can't imagine

how much I want to put that cigarette out on your ugly face

Scumbag, you stinking scumbag, come here

Come here, come here

Somebody call the head doctor!

Son of a bitch, bastard!

Leave him alone; he's not right in the head!

- Bastard! - What are you doing?

- Somebody call the head doctor! - Nadia, please, let's go...

Come on, stop it

- I'm sorry - That's OK. Come on

Please, that's enough

What are you laughing at? Stupid

Nadia, let's go. Come on

Hold on; hold on

They're coming

What's going on here?

Can I have a cigarette?

Explain. What happened? What did you do to him?

What is this nonsense on hospital premises?

What are you laughing at?

- I'm not talking - Talk to me. What is this nonsense?

- I'm not talking - Really? Kaladze?

And you. Come

Call a council meeting. I'll show you, you'll be sorry

Don't bother calling a meeting. I quit

What?

You're crazy

Bite me

You're fired

Get out of my way

Hey, you, maggot!

Drunkard!

So we had to give Rita 30 seconds' leave to go see this Nadia

on the night of 30 January,

so that Nadia would feel better

We always want everyone to feel better

But Kolya...

It's not possible to give her leave to see her beloved Kolya

But we took note of Kolya

And we'll make sure to take care of him

We like him; we love him

Especially his soul

You got that?

Forgive me, forgive me

What about Gagarin?

Well, we had to make that happen

There's no reason to cry for beautiful souls like Rita's

But he didn't know that yet

So, we had to make the Gagarin thing happen

How are you doing?

Tired. Can't get any time to myself

She just sits there. Never goes anywhere

Who never goes anywhere?

- What do you mean, who? There - There's no one there

Look, this woman

You can't see her

Yes, they don't come for me yet

Don't worry, they will

Did you bring it?

Pick one

- I'll take both - Why do you need both?

It's for this one freeze frame

- There are two of us - You're funny

Have you heard this story?

I read about a naval officer: he took them,

like this, put them to his temples, and fired both guns

You can lose your head like that. Why would you do that?

For love

For love?

For love, you have to aim for the heart, like this

That's your opinion

Listen, buddy, I feel really sick. Could you go get cigarettes for me?

- You want some wine? - Yes, get some wine too

Well? Should I back out?

Who's going to give her back to me?

You won't!

DEDICATED TO FAINA AND RAMIL