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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,676
I'm proud of us.
3
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:14,146
Raising money for the Seaford club for
boys shows that we have maturity.
4
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:15,981
- And we are classy.
- Yeah.
5
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,751
- How much we got in the fart jar?
- Yeah!
6
00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:20,552
We made a lot of money by making people
7
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:24,289
put a dollar in the jar
every time they ripped one.
8
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,058
Wait, what?
9
00:00:25,089 --> 00:00:28,127
I've been paying a
dollar to fart in the jar.
10
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,595
(Wind hissing)
11
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,664
- Ah!
- Oh, my eyes are burning!
12
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,635
Guys?
13
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,771
I've got big news.
14
00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:41,607
Your mother started dressing you again?
15
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:43,542
Yes.
16
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:47,046
And I'm buying a boat!
17
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,213
Boom!
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:53,285
Picture us out on the boat going
over the waves, up and down,
19
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:58,824
up and down, up and down, up and...
(Vomits)
20
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,927
Why did you take me
out on such a windy day?
21
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:05,864
All I need is another
1,000 bucks and it's mine!
22
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:09,334
Guys, I just counted it. We have $1,100.
23
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,335
Ooh, thank you.
24
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,038
Hey!
25
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,841
We promised that money to
the Seaford club for boys.
26
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,177
It's an after-school
hang-out for troubled kids.
27
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,179
Yeah, we're buying them all-new
furniture for their rec room.
28
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- They don't have any.
- You guys need $1,000 for furniture?
29
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,819
For $100, I can get you
some beautiful stuff.
30
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:31,957
My cousin owns the largest hakmakistan
furniture store in all of California.
31
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Wait, your cousin is furniture Frank?
32
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,130
Oh, I love his commercials!
That guy's crazy.
33
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:43,635
People tell me that my prices
are so low that I'm crazy!
34
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:47,272
But if I was crazy, would I do this?!
35
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Ahhhh!
36
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I'm eating my beard!
37
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Ahhhh!
38
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Eating his beard like that
helps him sell furniture?
39
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,953
No, he's actually crazy.
40
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:03,798
Well, this is perfect.
41
00:02:03,829 --> 00:02:08,227
The delinquents get their
furniture and I get my boat.
42
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:11,330
(Whistling)
43
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,839
- Uh, Joan, that's a $100 bill.
- Yeah, do you need change for that?
44
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,007
No.
45
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,810
Just did some crop Dustin'.
46
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,781
What's crop dust...
47
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All: Oh! Oh my!
48
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,253
Oh!
49
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:37,756
Don't you get all tough with me
50
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,192
I'm saying, won't you
51
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:42,194
go kick it with me?
52
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,996
And we could have a
ball, run up the wall
53
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-
that's just how we do
-
Come on
54
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,233
and no matter how
much I chop and punch
55
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:51,170
it's not as cool as
kickin' it with you
56
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,905
here we go, let's start the party
57
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,207
chop it up like it's karate
58
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everybody
59
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,210
won't you
60
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,045
come kick it with me?
61
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,314
And we could have a
ball, run up the wall
62
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,917
-
that's just how we do
-
Come on
63
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:06,385
and no matter how
much I chop and punch
64
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:09,454
it's not as cool as
kickin' it with you.
65
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:20,332
I was this close to landing in a
club for delinquent boys myself.
66
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,234
Really? What'd you do?
67
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:26,305
I walked my dog and I
didn't pick up after him.
68
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:32,144
I felt so guilty I went back the
next day, but it was too late.
69
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,214
There was already a footprint in it.
70
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:42,721
And it was the footprint of a baby!
71
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:47,359
Guys, it was an honor to
donate this furniture.
72
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,428
We would have come last
Tuesday when it was delivered,
73
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,830
but we were on a boat tubin'.
74
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,832
For charity.
75
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:57,970
Uh, see, there's this group called, uh...
76
00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:00,472
Tubing for tots.
77
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:04,076
Yeah, we tube for tots that
can't tube for themselves.
78
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,279
Uh, I'd like to say a few words.
79
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:13,986
Although this is a club for delinquent
boys, let our selfless generosity
80
00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:16,488
be a beacon of light in your empty lives.
81
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,458
Dude, our lives aren't empty.
82
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:24,263
See, already making a difference.
83
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,497
Buh-bye.
84
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,066
Oh!
85
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:31,403
Dude, look what you did to
our beautiful chair, man.
86
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,938
You broke it!
87
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:37,309
That thing cost us,
like, 20... hundred bucks.
88
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,344
I didn't do anything, man.
89
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,513
This thing's got termites
crawling out of it.
90
00:04:41,544 --> 00:04:42,314
Oh, boo-hoo.
91
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,217
One chair out of all the
furniture we gave you has termites.
92
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,451
Oh!
93
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,560
Oh, boo-hoo, every single piece of
furniture we gave you has termites.
94
00:04:57,411 --> 00:04:59,931
Guys, we have got to hurry. Let's
get this furniture out of here
95
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,067
before the termites spread
to the rest of the house.
96
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:05,037
Oh, relax, that's never
going to happen, Jack.
97
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,444
Out of my way! Senseis
and boat owners first!
98
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:23,288
Rudy, dude, we got the estimate
to repair the boys' club.
99
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,859
- Oh.
- And here's the bill to fumigate.
100
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,028
Oh, this one should be a little better.
101
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:34,399
I mean, how much can it cost
to kill a couple of buuuaa...
102
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:39,037
Kill a couple of buaaaaaa...
103
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,039
- Rudy, it's gonna be all right.
- No, it's not, man.
104
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,408
It's gonna take us years
to raise this kind of money.
105
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,450
Well, we don't have years.
106
00:05:44,456 --> 00:05:46,845
If the money's not in
place by midnight tomorrow,
107
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,014
the city's going to condemn the
building and auction off the property.
108
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,017
Oh, problem solved. Thank you, city.
109
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,418
Rudy!
110
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,954
I'm sure it's going to work out for 'em.
111
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,357
There's thousands of places
for them to go after school.
112
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:02,060
Sorry, guys, there's absolutely no
place for them to go after school.
113
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,498
You don't bring delinquents into your home.
114
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,101
- You can't trust 'em.
- Well...
115
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,937
Shoo! Shoo!
116
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,473
Rudy, Rudy, you can't do that, man.
117
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,575
You're right. They might
try to steal the broom.
118
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:19,945
Rudy, I think you're overreacting.
119
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,279
No, I am not.
120
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,448
I remember the delinquent from my school.
121
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,884
Don't ask me how, but he was
always running around the school
122
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,053
blowing up toilets. You couldn't trust him.
123
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,654
Oh, yeah, and you think
these kids are like him?
124
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:33,258
(Toilet explodes)
125
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:38,096
Yes. Yes, I do.
126
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,065
We've got to get these kids out of here.
They're going to destroy this place.
127
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,533
If we don't raise the
money to fix their club,
128
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,368
they're going to be here all the time.
129
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,504
How are we going to raise $13,000?
130
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,072
What are we going to do?
We gonna do a bake sale?
131
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,074
A carwash? Telethon?
132
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,109
Ooh, actually, a telethon could work.
133
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,412
We could air it on public-access TV.
134
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:54,965
I can't think with all your yapping!
135
00:06:54,996 --> 00:06:58,583
I could get rock star Izzy Gunnar and
some of his famous friends to perform.
136
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,352
Aw, that would get people to donate!
137
00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:02,254
And then we'll get all the money we need!
138
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,357
I've got it! We're having a telethon.
139
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,359
(Explosion)
140
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:10,362
Let's work fast, everybody.
We're down to one stall!
141
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:12,330
Go!
142
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,698
No matter how much I chop and punch
143
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,468
it's not as cool as
kickin' it with you!
144
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,474
(Pins dropping)
145
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:25,310
I wish Rudy didn't make
us watch these kids.
146
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,379
They've been messing with me all day.
147
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,247
Ah.
148
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:32,551
Look at this.
149
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,252
Maybe it wasn't them.
150
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,988
Hey, Phil, have you been
putting worms in your hot dogs?
151
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,490
Of course not.
152
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,492
You know how expensive worms are?
153
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,461
Okay, maybe it was them.
154
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,464
Look, bro, the only reason
why they're messing with you
155
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,399
is because you expect
the worst out of them.
156
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,000
And that's what they're going to give you.
157
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,645
See, whereas I treat them
with respect and kindness...
158
00:07:52,676 --> 00:07:54,439
Here's your ball, sir.
159
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,308
And that's what I get back.
160
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,742
Thanks, little buddy.
161
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,048
Hey, why do you have quick-dry cement?
162
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,586
Ahhh!
163
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,225
- No reason.
- (Both laugh)
164
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,498
Mc: Ladies and gentlemen,
165
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,767
welcome to the Seaford
club for boys telethon!
166
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:27,038
And here's your host, Rudy Gillespie!
167
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,375
Thank you! Thank you very much.
168
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,377
Tonight we're here for a good cause...
169
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,713
To help some troubled boys.
170
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,382
Can we bring the lights
down just a little bit?
171
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,452
Up a little bit?
172
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:45,323
Every year, millions of troubled boys
173
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:49,628
lose their clubs to
termite-infested furniture.
174
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:53,265
Don't look that up. It's super true.
175
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:56,735
But tonight, me, Izzy Gunnar and
a few of his celebrity friends
176
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,504
are going to raise $13,000
177
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,440
to save the Seaford club for boys.
178
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,409
And how are we going to do it?
179
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,478
(Piano playing)
180
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,414
A little song, a little dance
181
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,651
A little seltzer down my pants...
182
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,086
- (Bottle hissing)
- Hoo, that's cold.
183
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:19,257
Tell your friends, tell your family
184
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,160
Telephone us now,
give us your money...
185
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,495
(Phone rings)
186
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:26,097
Ooh, I wonder who this could be.
187
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,733
$100 donation?!
188
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,602
Thanks, real person.
189
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:34,139
Tell everyone that it's finally on!
190
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,607
It's time for the
Seaford club for boys
191
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,609
Full of delinquent kids who
have a termite infestation
192
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:41,746
Telethon!
193
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,450
With me, Rudy!
194
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:49,421
(Tepid applause)
195
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,457
All right, let's see how much
my opening number brought in.
196
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,825
What do we got, Phil?
197
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:57,529
Your friends did not
call or your family
198
00:09:57,531 --> 00:10:00,332
No one telephoned, we got no money.
199
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,200
Phil!
200
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:08,406
All right, and now the moment
you've all been waiting for.
201
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:12,477
Please welcome my celebrity friends!
202
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,313
(Drum roll)
203
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,781
My celebrity friends!
204
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,316
(Drum roll)
205
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:22,387
- Celebrity friends!
- (Drum roll)
206
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,828
Izzy called. He and all his friends
are stuck in the airport in Chicago.
207
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,597
They're not coming.
208
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:37,669
Tell your friends, tell your family
209
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,905
Telephone us now,
give us your money!
210
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,440
(Crying)
211
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,709
We're in so much trouble.
212
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:53,518
We have 50 minutes to raise $13,000
213
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,353
and we've got no acts.
214
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,921
You do realize this means the delinquents
215
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,824
will be at my dojo every
day. What are we going to do?
216
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,427
We're going to rally
together and get through this.
217
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,529
We don't need celebrities.
We've got tons of talent
218
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,264
right here in our own backyard.
219
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,900
(Piano playing)
220
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,535
What?
221
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:14,739
This song goes out to a
special guy named Gary.
222
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:19,911
So if you're a special guy named Gary,
give me a call. I'd love to meet you.
223
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,749
You don't even have to be
special or even named Gary.
224
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,452
Any man with a phone will do.
225
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:35,193
Wow, Johnny, that's some
really nice tinkling, huh?
226
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,930
Now let's give the people
what they paid for, huh?
227
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:49,407
(Stops playing momentarily)
228
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,822
(Laughs)
229
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,423
Ooh.
230
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,492
Oh.
231
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,716
Isn't she something?!
232
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,385
- That is Joan Malone!
- (Piano stops)
233
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,788
(Scattered applause)
234
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,925
All right, let's check our big tote board.
235
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,761
We had 15 before that last act,
236
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:45,897
and now we have...
237
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,432
$8?!
238
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,435
How did we lose $7?
239
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,571
A guy named Gary called.
He wanted his money back.
240
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,942
Kickin' it with you!
241
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,043
- Hup!
- Ha!
242
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,345
- Hup!
- Yah!
243
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,094
- Hup!
- Ha!
244
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:04,112
All right, guys. Great
job. Keep up the work.
245
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:08,419
Uh, dude, why do you
have two bowling balls?
246
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,855
Oh, I glued this one to the my
other hand to balance me out.
247
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:14,692
You know, without it, I
just kept walking in circles.
248
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,463
Yo, you're actually doing
karate with these monsters?
249
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,798
Dude, they're not monsters.
250
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,633
I saw something in them
that you didn't see.
251
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,469
If you channel their energy
in a constructive way,
252
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,504
they're too preoccupied
to get into trouble.
253
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,773
They're actually really great kids.
254
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,610
Sorry about the bowling ball.
255
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,679
If we just found a way
to channel our energy
256
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:38,383
in a constructive way, we'd be too
preoccupied to get into trouble.
257
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,652
Yeah, we're actually great kids.
258
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:46,558
Hey, guys, let's hit this
rock wall you wanted to try.
259
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,594
So it's really simple. You just got
to pick a grip and climb your way up.
260
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,464
Okay.
261
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:56,248
(Grunts)
262
00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:58,970
Now it gets a little trickier
once you get near the top
263
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:01,573
because...
Whoa!
264
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,942
That doesn't usually happen.
265
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,510
Whoa!
266
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,112
You guys loosened the grips, didn't you?
267
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,048
Both: Uh-huh.
268
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,551
- So that means that I'm gonna...
- Uh-huh.
269
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,452
Whoa!
270
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:19,217
Get back! Get back.
271
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,526
I'm never letting you
guys mess with me again.
272
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,595
Dude, hold that thought.
273
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:27,031
You've got a giant
mosquito on your forehead.
274
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,100
Wait, what? Where?
275
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:34,572
Did I get it?
276
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:44,415
We have 37 minutes and
we've only raised $16.
277
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:48,653
And that was from a guy who called
begging us to end the telethon.
278
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,521
We can still pull this together.
279
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,990
Sure we can, yeah.
280
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,659
Yeah, I don't know. Why
don't we just have Phil
281
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:59,564
stick his hand up some dumb doll and try
to pass himself off as a ventriloquist?
282
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,733
Oh, hello, Herbert.
283
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:07,538
Why don't you tell these nice
people something about yourself?
284
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,140
No!
285
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:12,443
Come on, Herbert. You
promised to be nice today.
286
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:16,681
And you promised to stop dancing
in front of me in your underpants.
287
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,952
Hey, Herbert, come on,
man. That was only one time.
288
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,754
One time was all it took.
289
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:28,059
Now every time I close my eyes, I see
it all over again. Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
290
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,494
Okay, stop it.
291
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:30,662
No, you stop it.
292
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:32,563
Now you better
stop... ow! He bit me.
293
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,465
There's more where that came from!
294
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,468
Ahh! Oh no!
295
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,204
No no no!
296
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:46,544
(Laughing) Dummies.
297
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,647
Run into the dojo, have
Jack put on a show gi.
298
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,083
He can come over here, do one
of those karate demos to music.
299
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,551
People love that stuff.
300
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:56,587
Or I could put on my star-spangled outfit
301
00:15:56,589 --> 00:16:00,058
and do a high-spirited, patriotic tap
routine that will bring down the house.
302
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,560
Ah, I didn't think of that.
303
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,595
Go get Jack!
304
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:14,238
And now another hilarious
joke from these popsicles.
305
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,942
(Panting)
306
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:24,983
"Wh-wh-wh-wh... What do you
call two wh-wh-wh-wh...
307
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,952
Witches who live together?"
308
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:31,956
I guess I'll just eat it
to get to the punch line.
309
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:43,201
Ha.
"Broom-m-m-m-m..."
310
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,837
Sorry, folks. Another brain freeze.
311
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,907
(Blowing)
312
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:54,512
Uh, "broommates!"
313
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,583
Nothin'?
314
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,752
Really?
315
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,988
Rudy, I brought Jack.
316
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,056
Great, where is he?
317
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,694
What happened?
318
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,262
Walt and Jesse are what happened.
319
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,997
They've been terrorizing us all day.
320
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:16,968
Rudy, there's only one thing we can do.
321
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,704
(Velcro ripping)
322
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,539
Tap!
323
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,242
(Drumbeat)
324
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:28,946
("Yankee doodle dandy" playing)
325
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:32,250
(Feet tapping)
326
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:40,158
I don't believe it. We're making money!
327
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:56,841
(Music stops)
328
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,844
What is wrong with you two?
329
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,913
We're trying to save your club.
330
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,415
No, you're not. We heard
what you said in the dojo.
331
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,250
The only reason why you're
trying to save the club
332
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,052
is to get rid of us delinquents.
333
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,588
Yeah, you don't even care about us.
334
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,591
(Gasps) How dare you?
335
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,694
I farted in a jar for you!
336
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:19,597
Yeah, and we gave you furniture.
337
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,599
Cheap furniture full of termites.
338
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:25,937
Well, we needed the
extra money for the boat.
339
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,305
We thought you were different.
340
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:32,310
I mean, you're a sensei.
You care about these guys.
341
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,112
We thought you'd care about us too.
342
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,082
But you're just like everybody else.
343
00:18:49,689 --> 00:18:51,329
Hey, everyone, can I have your attention?
344
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,131
(Piano playing)
345
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,266
The whole reason we're
holding this telethon
346
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,202
is to save the Seaford club for boys.
347
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,338
And two of those boys are with us tonight.
348
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,773
Are they bad kids?
349
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,942
Oh, yeah, they're bad.
350
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:08,146
- The worst! These kids are like...
- Rudy.
351
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:11,849
But it doesn't matter.
352
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,751
We made a commitment.
353
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,853
And when you set out to do
something good for someone,
354
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,468
you do it, you follow through.
355
00:19:17,499 --> 00:19:21,392
And you don't buy yourself a
really nice boat just to get ladies.
356
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:25,029
And that's why anyone
who donates $10 right now
357
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:28,099
will be entered in a
raffle to win this boat.
358
00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:30,735
It floats in water!
359
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:33,171
(Phones ringing)
360
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:37,775
Hello?
361
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:41,012
Oh, that's great news,
ma'am. Thank you so much.
362
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,815
Just one second, I'm
going to put you on hold.
363
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:48,853
I think she hung up.
364
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:54,425
Kickin' it with you.
365
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:57,228
(Video games beeping) All the new stuff
they gave us is really cool.
366
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,697
But do you think they'll
ever let us use it?
367
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,433
Oh, I love this place.
Do we ever have to leave?
368
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,402
I don't see why.
369
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,704
If I knew how awesome
this place was going to be,
370
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,873
I totally would have been a delinquent.
371
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,008
In fact, I'm going to start right now.
372
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:16,013
Ooh ah! Check it out, people.
373
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,115
No coaster! Ha!
374
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:30,027
Oh, who am I kidding?! I
don't want to leave a ring!
375
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,931
Hey, guys, thanks for everything you did.
376
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,167
This is really great.
377
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,368
We talked about it.
378
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,037
This isn't just a
once-a-year thing.
379
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:42,373
You guys are welcome at the dojo anytime.
380
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,408
We're sorry we caused so much trouble.
381
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,444
Well, we kind of deserved it.
382
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,212
But we're all even, right?
383
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:52,216
(Toilet explodes)
384
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,319
Ha ha! Now we're even!
385
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:06,430
I'm really glad you called
after seeing me on the telethon.
386
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,400
You are cute as a button.
387
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,235
(Laughing)
388
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,537
And you are as cute as a kitten.
389
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,473
Oh! (Purrs)
390
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,241
Meow!
391
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,378
- (Purring)
- (Meowing)
392
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,947
Okay, I'm starting to
feel really uncomfortable.
393
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,482
I don't want to do this anymore.
394
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:28,185
Listen, you better get back down there now.
395
00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:29,387
Do what he says!
396
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,392
Now where were we?
397
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,931
(Theme music playing)
398
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,620
(Dog growls, barks)
399
00:22:02,670 --> 00:22:07,220
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