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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:12,111
Hey, Rudy, what are you watching?
3
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,145
"What did you do?"
4
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:16,081
Oh, we worked out, got a
cheeseburger, and then came in here
5
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:17,082
and asked you what you were watching.
6
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,083
What are you watching?
7
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,752
"What did you do?"
8
00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:22,845
Dude, I told you. We got a
cheeseburger, we worked out...
9
00:00:22,876 --> 00:00:25,557
No, it's the name of my favorite TV show.
10
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:29,194
They use hidden cameras and actors to
capture real people doing good deeds.
11
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,529
( Theme music plays on TV)
12
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:35,634
Excuse me sir, I'm Don Quinonas
host of "what did you do?"
13
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:39,705
My hidden cameras just captured
you doing something remarkable.
14
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,975
- You gave $500...
- (Sighs)
15
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,144
...to a complete stranger...
16
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,645
(Sighs heavily)
17
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:50,182
...so he could get his
cat's broken tail fixed.
18
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,551
(Groans) Look, he's...
19
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,219
Oh, God.
20
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,155
I gotta be on this show...
21
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,657
So people will know that
I'm better than they are.
22
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,360
And humble.
23
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,162
So humble.
24
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:06,932
Oh, hey.
25
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,233
How's your volunteer job
at the history museum going?
26
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,868
Oh, I love it. I'm working right now.
27
00:01:09,899 --> 00:01:12,738
- (Bell ringing)
- Man: Gather round, good townspeople.
28
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,273
Those are the living legends.
29
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:17,109
They're traveling actors
doing a show at the museum.
30
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:20,646
Their motto is "we make
history come to life."
31
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:24,116
Oh, five bucks say they
make Jerry fall asleep!
32
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:26,685
Come on.
33
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:34,593
Jerry... Meet Ben Franklin, Albert
Einstein, Cleopatra, and Attila the hun.
34
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,796
Hun? Pretty sure Attila's a dude.
35
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:44,269
Early to bed, early to rise, makes
a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
36
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:49,308
Early to bed, early to rise, go hit
a treadmill and lay off the fries.
37
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,273
(Chuckles)
38
00:01:50,304 --> 00:01:53,645
In my day, the young
respected their elders.
39
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:57,349
Yeah, well in my day, dudes didn't
wear their sister's stockings.
40
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:02,287
- I'm gonna get...
- Keep it together, Carl, keep it together.
41
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,359
Ladies and gentlemen,
gather round and witness
42
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:11,230
how I discovered that
lightning is electricity.
43
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,798
(Yawning)
44
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,233
I'll need a volunteer.
45
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,768
Oh, uh...
46
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,303
You.
47
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,243
Huh! He never uses volunteers.
48
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,678
I was flying my kite on a stormy night,
49
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,213
when suddenly... (Beeps)
50
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,718
(Beeps)
51
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,358
Is... is that how he got you?
52
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,695
(Rock music playing)
53
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,698
Don't you get all tough with me
54
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,669
I'm saying won't you
come kick it with me?
55
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,238
And we could have a
ball, run up the wall
56
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,174
that's just how we do
57
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,176
and no matter how
much I chop and punch
58
00:02:57,178 --> 00:03:00,078
it's not as cool as
kickin' it with you
59
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,147
here we go, let's start the party
60
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,916
chop it up like it's karate
61
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,184
everybody
62
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:08,754
won't you come kick it with me?
63
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,323
And we could have a
ball, run up the wall
64
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,258
that's just how we do
65
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,227
and no matter how
much I chop and punch
66
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:18,163
it's not as cool as
kickin' it with you.
67
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:26,772
Okay, would you rather be a neanderthal
facing a saber-toothed tiger,
68
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:30,309
or a peasant facing the bubonic plague?
69
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,377
Oh, that is a good one.
70
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,781
Ugh, whichever kills me quicker.
71
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,883
Man, you nerds need to get a life.
72
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,885
History is important, Jerry.
73
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,253
It's why we volunteer at the museum.
74
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,322
I still can't believe
you guys don't get paid.
75
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,290
Whoa, we get paid...
76
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,159
In knowledge!
77
00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:49,261
All: Whoo-hoo!
78
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,897
We're making deposits
in the brain bank, yo.
79
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,799
All: Cha-Ching!
80
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,300
Oh, wow. Okay.
81
00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,838
Guys, Chloe's here.
Quick, nerd breath check.
82
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,374
(Gagging)
83
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,942
Oh, one of us has stink mouth,
84
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,277
- I think it's me.
- No, I think it's me.
85
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,312
- Hey, guys.
- Teddy's got stink mouth!
86
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,149
Milton, we changed the schedule.
87
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:14,152
You'll be working with me
in the samurai wing tomorrow.
88
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,354
Oh...
89
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,189
Oh, Jerry,
90
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,790
this is Chloe. She's our...
91
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,959
Robot. All right, you guys
92
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,395
finally perfected the robo-girlfriend.
93
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,965
Oh, great job.
94
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,433
It's a big improvement over the floor waxer
95
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,369
Sydney put a bra on and called Sophia.
96
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,271
I miss Sophia.
97
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,375
Can I borrow her for the prom?
98
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,044
She's so realistic.
99
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,078
I'm not going to prom with you.
100
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,813
Very realistic.
101
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:46,885
Jerry, Chloe is the head of our
volunteer program at the museum.
102
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,154
And like me, she loves history.
103
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,989
Oh, really?
104
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,025
Well, what it do, girl?
105
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,793
And what year did it do it in?
106
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,928
Ugh! Oh, eww.
107
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,205
Hey, not on my wharf, tough guys.
108
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,273
Get outta here.
109
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:10,509
And tell your friends...
110
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,412
When Rudy's on duty, they
better watch their booty.
111
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:16,815
Okay, don't tell them that. Just go.
112
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:20,185
Hey.
113
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,120
I think you're safe now, pal.
114
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,855
Just know that this only happened
115
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,824
because wearing this...
116
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,326
Dorky backpack.
117
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,161
I mean, who wears a tickly turtle backpack?
118
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,862
You look like a little dork boy.
119
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,905
Uh, excuse me. Ma'am, you dropped this.
120
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:45,243
Excuse me, I'm Don Quinonas from
the TV show "what did you do?"
121
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,845
That's my favorite show.
122
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,181
This woman is an actress.
123
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:53,285
And our hidden camera just caught
you giving her wallet back.
124
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,953
It's really no big deal.
125
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,122
Yeah, you heard him.
126
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,068
It's not a big deal.
127
00:05:58,099 --> 00:06:00,258
Did your camera catch
me helping the dork boy?
128
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,260
Because that was a big deal.
129
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:05,364
Excuse me, sir, we're
talking to a real hero.
130
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:11,103
It's not everyday we meet
someone with your kind heart.
131
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,304
I'm a hero!
132
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,638
A hero with a huge heart!
133
00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:16,375
Tell 'em, dork boy.
134
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,243
Tell 'em I'm a hero!
135
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,511
I'm a hero!
136
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,586
Do you want to hear a samurai haiku?
137
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,922
Oh, 17 beautiful syllables that say it all.
138
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,424
As long as it's not about love.
139
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:37,095
Every guy volunteer recites one to me
hoping that I'll go out with them.
140
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,163
What's yours?
141
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:45,604
Samurais have swords.
142
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:51,042
Sharp, sharp, sharp,
sharp, sharp, sharp swords.
143
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,311
This is the end.
144
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,446
Swords.
145
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:57,349
Hey, Chloe.
146
00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:00,685
Just stopped by to pick up a volunteer
application for the samurai wing.
147
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:04,055
Jerry, you don't know
anything about samurais.
148
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,525
Oh, really? Try me.
149
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,293
Fact battle!
150
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,365
Just, uh... cleaning the statues.
151
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,267
Definitely not following Chloe around.
152
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,003
That'd be creepy, right?
153
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:23,175
I will not lower myself to engage in a
silly competition with this buffoon.
154
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:26,945
I think intellectual
competitions are so manly.
155
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,113
Let's battle, baby!
156
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,683
(Chuckles) I love fact battles.
157
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:35,420
What is the name of the defense
garment worn on the back of a...
158
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:36,688
- (Buzzes)
- What is a horo?
159
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:41,059
It was invented by Hatakeyama
Masanaga during the onin war.
160
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,494
Boo-yah!
161
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:47,098
What's buried in shogun hashindo's tomb?
162
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,366
- (Buzzes)
- A golden sword.
163
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,969
Oh! Ba-bam! Yeah.
164
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:53,338
Hold on, now.
165
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,440
I'm not done facting.
166
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,676
Legend has it that if the sword is removed,
167
00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,378
his royal guards will come
back to life to protect him.
168
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,682
Nobody believes that gold sword stuff.
169
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,217
Legends are dumb.
170
00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:07,652
Aren't you guys the living legends?
171
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:12,023
Aren't you supposed to be cleaning a
statue and not creeping on Chloe?
172
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,359
Touche, Mr. Franklin.
173
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,460
Touche.
174
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:21,266
Jerry, I misjudged you.
175
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,302
You'll be working with me
as tour guide of this wing.
176
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,738
Milton, you'll be with the living legends.
177
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,413
Jerry, since when do you know things?
178
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,782
I mean, I still tie your shoes.
179
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,251
When it comes to getting a cute girl,
180
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,385
I'll do anything...
181
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,387
Even study history.
182
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,289
Oh, that reminds me. (Clears throat)
183
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,224
Tie it yourself, Jerry.
184
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,460
What? Fine.
185
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:51,062
I don't need your help.
186
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,330
I can tie my own shoe.
187
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:57,402
There, done.
188
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,707
Told you I could do it!
189
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,216
There you are.
190
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,320
You little glory stealer.
191
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,657
Yeah, oh, okay. So I picked up
that wallet so I could be on TV.
192
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,759
(Laughs) So you admit it!
193
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:26,097
Well, now it's my turn to be on TV.
194
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,767
I hired an actress online to
play an old woman with a Walker.
195
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,835
She will struggle across the courtyard
196
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,600
and I will heroically swoop in and
carry her to her destination.
197
00:09:33,631 --> 00:09:36,785
How do you know that don quinonas
and his crew are even still here?
198
00:09:36,816 --> 00:09:39,244
Let's just say a little birdie told me...
199
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,279
To let all the air out of their tires.
200
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,116
Oh, that must be her.
201
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,589
Oh, no.
202
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,858
This frail but sweet
lady appears to need help.
203
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:57,362
I, Rudy Gillespie...
selfless, single sensei...
204
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,664
will gladly help this wobbly Walker.
205
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,400
Hey, beat it, pal. She's mine.
206
00:10:04,236 --> 00:10:05,570
Allow me to assist.
207
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:07,839
(Whispers) Get in my arms.
208
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,208
(Louder) I said, get in my arms.
209
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,444
Come here. Ow. Ow. Hey.
210
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,878
(Clatters)
211
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,615
Listen, you old biddy,
I'm trying to pick you up.
212
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,450
Come here! Come here!
213
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,252
(Grunting)
214
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:28,226
I'd like to say my show
brings out the best in people,
215
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:33,898
but today, our cameras caught the most
heinous act of human cruelty ever.
216
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,300
Huh?
217
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,703
And... cut. (Chuckles)
218
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,405
That was great. We'll air it tonight.
219
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:43,341
No, don, this is a misunderstanding.
220
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:46,745
I'm looking for Rudy Gillespie.
221
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:49,347
The guy that hired a stunt granny
so he could look good on TV.
222
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,415
You're late!
223
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,217
You made me look like a monster!
224
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,918
(Growling)
225
00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,425
(Laughing)
226
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,462
Hey, what are you guys laughing about?
227
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,431
Something Jerry said.
228
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,400
You had to be there. (Laughing)
229
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:11,302
(Forced laughter)
230
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,872
But I wasn't.
231
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,608
Face it, Milton. She's not into you.
232
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,344
She's into me.
233
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,912
Oh, and I love hanging out with her.
234
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:25,450
She's smart, she loves museums, oh, and
she's got the cutest little freckles.
235
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,319
She's like a version of you I can kiss.
236
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,487
Oh, kiss this!
237
00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:32,424
Oh...
238
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,393
What did you two do?
239
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:38,463
That caveman skeleton is 75,000 years old.
240
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,331
Oh! What a relief.
241
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,666
At least we didn't break a new one.
242
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:47,640
This is his fault. He's pretending to
care about history to get close to you.
243
00:11:47,671 --> 00:11:48,640
What?!
244
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,375
At least I'm man enough to ask her out.
245
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,210
Oh, you don't think I'm man enough?
246
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,278
I'll ask her out right now.
247
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,450
Samurais have swords.
248
00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:00,585
- Sharp, sharp, sharp...
- That's it!
249
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,520
Both of you should leave.
250
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:05,356
I'm gonna be here all night
trying to get this hand just right.
251
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,858
Oh, come on, Chloe.
252
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,326
You're not gonna be here all night.
253
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,361
It's just a hand.
254
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,297
Look, all you have to do
is put the hand back...
255
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,998
(crumbling)
256
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,738
Yeah, you're gonna be here
all night. (Clears throat)
257
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,949
I can't believe you got
us fired from the museum.
258
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:34,252
- You ruin everything.
- That is so not true.
259
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,754
At my last birthday, you
mistook my grandma for a pinata.
260
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:41,392
No one was complaining when
candy started dropping out of her.
261
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:45,396
I just realized Chloe is stuck in
the museum cleaning up our mess.
262
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,366
I'm gonna text Sydney and he and
I are gonna help her clean up.
263
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,802
Yeah, Sydney's never
stabbed me in the back.
264
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,871
You know what, Milton?
265
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,406
If Chloe's the girl of your dreams...
266
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,910
Then as your friend, I respect that...
267
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,044
And I'll back off.
268
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:03,848
Wow, Jerry, that... that means a lot.
269
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,617
Thanks for understanding.
270
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,620
- Yeah, man.
- Uh, where are you going?
271
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:11,389
To the museum to make the girl
of your dreams my girlfriend.
272
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,824
- Whoo!
- Gah!
273
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,831
And maybe I'll start with a salad.
274
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,935
See the attitude on her?
275
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,805
You know, you're shown on TV beating
up one defenseless, old lady
276
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,541
and suddenly the whole
world thinks you're a jerk.
277
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:31,810
Come on, Rudy, you're exaggerating.
278
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,903
I don't think I am.
279
00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:39,514
At least she left off the dressing.
280
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,756
Uh, excuse me, waitress.
281
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:48,092
May I have some fresh
pepper for my lap salad?
282
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:52,797
Little more.
283
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,633
Thank you.
284
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,474
Oh, there's the worst man in the world.
285
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,376
Quick, everyone, hide your grannies.
286
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,379
It was a man-granny I ordered online.
287
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,382
Making it worse, Rudy.
288
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,884
Apparently that's what I do.
289
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,486
(Laughing)
290
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,647
Look at him over there.
291
00:14:16,678 --> 00:14:19,057
He ruins my life and
then he just laughs at me.
292
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,625
I am so angry.
293
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,762
It's a good thing I've devoted my
life to the study of martial arts.
294
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,966
Oh, great, so you're gonna tap into
your chi and overcome your anger?
295
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,067
Something like that.
296
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,502
(Screaming)
297
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,939
(Crying)
298
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,855
Once we get the golden sword
from hashindo's sarcophagus,
299
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:54,425
sell it for $80,000,
and take out expenses,
300
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,494
how much do you think each of us will get?
301
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,796
(Stammers) Don't look at me.
302
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,531
Math is not really my thing.
303
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,033
How can math not be your thing?
304
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,101
You're Albert Einstein!
305
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,770
I got the gig because of my hair!
306
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,438
And you know that, Carl!
307
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,877
Oh, I can't believe it.
308
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,113
The living legends are
just a bunch of thieves.
309
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,181
Both: And they've got my girlfriend.
310
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,549
Your girlfriend?
311
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,919
Yeah. Stop it. No, you stop it.
312
00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:24,656
We need a plan.
313
00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:26,092
Stop it!
314
00:15:26,123 --> 00:15:31,859
(Chanting) We hate Rudy. We hate Rudy.
315
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,140
Uh, excuse me, ma'am.
I'm sorry, we're closed.
316
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,675
It's me.
317
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,512
This is the only way I
could get through that mob
318
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,948
of angry grannies after what
I did to their friend Ethel.
319
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,983
Yeah, this is my life now, Jack.
320
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,986
Dinner at 4:00, bingo at 5:00,
gotta watch the grandkids at 8:00.
321
00:15:55,017 --> 00:15:58,052
And don't even ask me why, but I got
a pocket full of butterscotch candies.
322
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:02,593
Oh... Here it is, Rudy,
your new episode's on.
323
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,064
(Sighs) I can't watch this.
324
00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:10,802
That's better.
325
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:14,505
Last night, we introduced
you to Rudy Gillespie,
326
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,507
"the worst man in the world."
327
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:21,579
Well, guess what? On
tonight's episode, he's back,
328
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,649
and what you're about
to see will shock you.
329
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,184
Here we go.
330
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,986
My life is over.
331
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,054
(Screaming)
332
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,825
(Crying)
333
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,161
(Gasping)
334
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,898
A falafel ball went down the wrong pipe!
335
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,967
Rudy Gillespie just saved my life!
336
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,602
- She did?
- I did?
337
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,270
He's a hero.
338
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,206
- She is?!
- I am?!
339
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:53,244
America, Rudy punched my
gut and touched my heart.
340
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,148
Did you see what I did, Jack?
341
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,150
I don't believe it!
342
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,618
I'm a hero!
343
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:03,588
Hey, Rudy, where are you going?
344
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:06,891
To tell those cane-wielding prune
suckers that they owe me an apology.
345
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:10,028
No, wait, Rudy, you're forgetting...
They couldn't have seen the new episode.
346
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:10,695
All: Get him!
347
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,134
They didn't see the episode!
348
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,871
(Groaning)
349
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,245
Hey!
350
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,280
We know why you're here.
351
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,782
You're nothing but a bunch of thieves.
352
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,183
Both: Yeah.
353
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,718
And horrible actors.
354
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,019
(Gasps)
355
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,255
That's it. Tie 'em up, guys.
356
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,259
I'll take the small chick.
357
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:56,174
This might not be the best time but
who are you going to prom with?
358
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:58,876
Not a good time? All right, gotta go.
359
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:07,185
You can't see this, but that gag
really makes your eyes pop.
360
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,913
I call the big dude next time.
361
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,693
Oh. (Giggles)
362
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,129
Yes, this is fantastisch.
363
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,102
Did... did anybody else see that?
364
00:18:58,104 --> 00:18:59,837
I did.
365
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,073
The samurai warriors
have come back to life.
366
00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:04,308
It's the legend of hashindo's sword.
367
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,211
Really? You think I'm
buying some absurd legend...
368
00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:11,215
okay, I'm buying. I'm buying.
369
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:14,152
(Roars)
370
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,721
- Put back the sword, Carl!
- No!
371
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,257
I'm not giving it back.
372
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,258
It's mine.
373
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,193
Fine, keep it.
374
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:36,007
Can someone explain what just happened?
375
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,975
We made them believe the legend was real.
376
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,043
(Muffled) No...
377
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,079
I made him believe the legend was real.
378
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,216
How did you produce that demonic roar?
379
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,219
The armor yanked out my only
pit hair, but it was worth it.
380
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,455
Teddy, go call the cops.
381
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,358
What you did was incredible.
382
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,260
You saved me.
383
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,696
Both: Aw, it was really nothing.
384
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,131
Seriously, stop it.
385
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,001
There's something you two should know.
386
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,336
Oh, I know what it is.
387
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:08,272
In the beginning, you thought we
were more trouble than we were worth
388
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,141
because we destroyed the caveman skeletons.
389
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:13,010
But when we came here, foiled
a robbery, and saved you
390
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,713
and the museum, we
totally redeemed ourselves.
391
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,415
No.
392
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,717
Sydney's my new boyfriend.
393
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,087
All: I did not see that coming.
394
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,355
Wha...?
395
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,259
- Wha...?
- Wha...?
396
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,260
(Sighs)
397
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:33,164
Milton, dude, I'm sorry I
tried to take your girl...
398
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:35,733
And for all the future girls
I'm gonna try and take from you.
399
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,236
I'm sorry, too.
400
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:41,939
And don't worry, Chloe's not gonna have
time for a date with Sydney, anyway.
401
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,241
She's not?
402
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,510
(Snaps, crumbles)
403
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:49,480
Both: Oh, Chloe!
404
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,148
Whoo!
405
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,287
Kickin' it with you!
406
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,322
The business you generate for the museum
407
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:01,225
as the new living legends will help
pay for the damage you caused.
408
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,594
(Sighs)
409
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:07,164
(Chuckling) Nerds.
410
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:14,005
(Rings bell) I am Paul revere and
the living legends are coming!
411
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:16,107
The living legends are coming...
412
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,209
To the Seaford museum of history.
413
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,845
(Gasps)
414
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,013
Are we done yet?
415
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:23,814
We've been doing this for four hours.
416
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:26,083
Yeah, and we have four more.
So put your head back on.
417
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,551
Hyah!
418
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,487
(Yelps) That's it.
419
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,322
(Grunting)
420
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:34,358
Bad horsey, bad horsey, bad horsey!
421
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:39,497
(Theme music playing)
422
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:02,520
(Dog growls, barks)
423
00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:07,120
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