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1
00:00:13,334 --> 00:00:16,534
Dennis, have you seen
my Louisville Slugger?
2
00:00:16,601 --> 00:00:18,467
Don't you remember
you were swinging it around in your office,
3
00:00:18,534 --> 00:00:21,267
and it slipped
out of your hands and out the window?
4
00:00:21,334 --> 00:00:22,467
Doesn't ring a bell.
5
00:00:22,534 --> 00:00:25,167
Oh, come on.
It fell 23 stories,
6
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,968
went through the roof
of a gypsy cab
7
00:00:27,033 --> 00:00:30,400
and gave that German tourist
a deep thigh bruise?
8
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:32,267
Oh, yeah.
9
00:00:32,334 --> 00:00:35,300
Master race my ass.
That guy was crying like a baby.
10
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:38,801
Hey!
DENNIS: Hey!
11
00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:41,801
Don't forget,
softball practice this afternoon.
12
00:00:41,868 --> 00:00:43,300
I didn't know
we had a softball team.
13
00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:45,934
Yeah, we have our annual game
against Cosmo this Saturday.
14
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,801
I don't remember
a game last year.
15
00:00:47,868 --> 00:00:52,100
Well, it was cancelled
because of a minor incident the year before.
16
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,167
Nina provided protein drinks,
17
00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:56,367
and we wound up
calling the game because we thought
18
00:00:56,434 --> 00:00:58,467
the Earth was being
attacked by giant hummingbirds.
19
00:00:58,534 --> 00:01:00,033
(CHUCKLES)
20
00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:02,434
What position do you play?
21
00:01:02,501 --> 00:01:04,734
Catcher. I'm also the manager
22
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:07,200
because of the three P's.
23
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,934
Poise, patience
24
00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:11,534
and p'sex appeal.
25
00:01:13,634 --> 00:01:14,968
So, you in?
26
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,334
Think I'll pass.
27
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,100
Why?
28
00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:20,100
Ah, competition
brings out the worst in people.
29
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:23,467
Actually, bike shorts
bring out the worst in people.
30
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:25,567
So, what are
we talking about? Softball.
31
00:01:25,634 --> 00:01:27,133
Oh, you know,
I play first base.
32
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,234
You're kidding.
You play?
33
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,767
Oh, she's a natural.
She's tall,
34
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:34,234
she's flexible, and she has
a knack for digging things out of the dirt.
35
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,300
That third husband,
for example.
36
00:01:36,367 --> 00:01:40,400
Was it so wrong to want
to see him one last time?
37
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,968
Anyway, I have
the scouting report for Cosmo.
38
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:44,434
Do tell.
39
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:46,234
The pitcher's going
through a messy divorce.
40
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:48,067
First baseman's about
to be downsized,
41
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:52,567
and the left fielder
needs a pump to get an erection. Don't ask.
42
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,567
That's your scouting report?
43
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:56,334
It's called
heckling material.
44
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,000
It's not about
winning or losing.
45
00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:00,534
It's about destroying
the other guy's self-esteem.
46
00:02:00,601 --> 00:02:02,434
It's fun.
47
00:02:02,501 --> 00:02:03,834
See, that's what
I'm talking about.
48
00:02:03,901 --> 00:02:06,501
I don't like to play
with people who are overly competitive.
49
00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:09,467
Oh, yeah, I see
what you mean.
50
00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:12,367
She must really suck.
Clearly.
51
00:02:12,434 --> 00:02:15,534
Just stick with me, Maya.
I know a thing or two about the game.
52
00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:18,934
Oh, it wouldn't be
a Blush game without Elliott anchoring the defense.
53
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,434
Way out in deep right field.
Not too shabby, huh?
54
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,033
Right field?
55
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:29,033
He has no idea
how horrible he is.
56
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,667
Hey, make sure
I get the right game time this year.
57
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,901
Oh, yeah, right.
Sorry. Sorry about that.
58
00:02:34,968 --> 00:02:37,267
Okay, shall we get started?
59
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,634
I'd like to begin by saying,
60
00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:45,434
"I guarantee a Blush
softball victory this year."
61
00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:48,400
Ah, Jack, you say that every
year and every year we lose.
62
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:51,801
Last time we won.
Remember? I hit that home run,
63
00:02:51,868 --> 00:02:55,334
and then I saved the Earth
from that giant hummingbird.
64
00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,968
Anyway, this is our year.
65
00:03:00,033 --> 00:03:01,534
Maya, you're playing, right?
66
00:03:01,601 --> 00:03:03,067
I play right!
67
00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:06,534
Dad, I don't really
want to play.
68
00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:11,000
I really don't want you to
play either, but the rules state we need two women.
69
00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:13,100
It's always been my rule.
70
00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:15,501
Well, I'm not playing.
71
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:17,667
We'll see. Anyway,
72
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,934
I will, once again,
be pitching.
73
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,701
Let's face it,
we want to win.
74
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,601
Not that we have to win.
75
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:28,234
At Blush it's all about
fair play and having fun.
76
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,033
Yeah.
ALL: Yeah.
77
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,300
Okay, first
order of business.
78
00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:36,767
Please welcome our new
Vice President of Fabulous Ideas, Steve Garvey.
79
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,767
Come on out, Steve.
Please come. Please come. That's it.
80
00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:41,534
Ten-time All-Star.
81
00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:28,501
ELLIOTT: Springtime.
Hope. Baseball.
82
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:32,334
Through all our turbulent
times, it's the one thing you can always count on.
83
00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,767
Baseball.
84
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:38,067
Hey, Clueless Joe,
your cup goes in the front.
85
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:40,334
Sorry.
86
00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:44,367
Nina, leave
the new guy alone.
87
00:04:44,434 --> 00:04:46,801
NINA: I'm designing
new uniforms.
88
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,234
You've already measured
his inseam, twice.
89
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,934
How dare you?
I'm a professional and I...
90
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,267
I resent your implication.
91
00:04:54,334 --> 00:04:55,567
Sorry.
92
00:04:57,334 --> 00:05:00,701
No, this isn't working.
You're going to have to take your pants off.
93
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:04,834
All right, everybody.
Gather 'round.
94
00:05:04,901 --> 00:05:07,567
Let's bring it in.
95
00:05:07,634 --> 00:05:10,467
Now I know you all
like to think of this as our team,
96
00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:13,200
but remember,
this is my team.
97
00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:15,000
My team.
98
00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,901
I don't ask
that you love me,
99
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,200
but I do demand
your respect.
100
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,868
Scratch that.
I ask you to love me.
101
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:26,701
What's up?
I'm Finch. The boss.
102
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:28,834
Okay, we need somebody
to get in the outfield.
103
00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:30,133
I'll do it.
Anybody.
104
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,501
Over here.
Anyone at all.
105
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,868
Hey, new guy,
can you hit?
106
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,701
Well, I was
the National League MVP.
107
00:05:35,767 --> 00:05:38,901
Yeah, whatever.
Okay, grab a bat.
108
00:05:38,968 --> 00:05:41,200
Where's Jack?
109
00:05:41,267 --> 00:05:43,100
All right,
we need a pitcher.
110
00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:45,300
Hey, kid,
you want to pitch?
111
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,200
Don't call me "kid."
112
00:05:47,267 --> 00:05:49,100
Fine.
You want to pitch?
113
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:51,200
You know, I just
feel that competition...
114
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:54,801
Oh, blah-biddy-blah.
If you don't want to play, why are you here?
115
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:56,501
I always come
to the park to read.
116
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,267
There's no book in team.
117
00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:02,067
Oh, fine. I'll throw around
your stupid ball until my father gets here.
118
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,200
All right,
we got a pitcher.
119
00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:06,067
Hey. Hey, you sure you
don't want me to pitch?
120
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,934
Get back out there!
All right.
121
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,067
All right, you need to
stretch out a little bit? No, I'm fine.
122
00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:12,133
Is that suede?
That's pretty neat.
123
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,000
Stop touching me!
Okay.
124
00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:15,634
Okay. Let's play ball!
125
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:18,334
Hey, batter,
batter. Swing!
126
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,100
Shut up!
Okay.
127
00:06:21,334 --> 00:06:23,667
Maya, just try to
get it to the plate.
128
00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:25,467
You could scoot up
if you have to.
129
00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:27,701
I don't want to pitch.
130
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:31,067
We want a pitcher,
not a belly itcher!
131
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,901
ALL: We want a pitcher,
not a belly itcher!
132
00:06:33,968 --> 00:06:36,200
MAYA: I'm not a belly itcher!
133
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,400
Give me the ball!
134
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:43,367
I don't think
you're the right... Give me the ball!
135
00:06:49,634 --> 00:06:51,133
All right-y.
136
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:59,167
Ah! Oh, my God!
137
00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:02,133
(WHINING) I think
you broke my hand!
138
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,267
Yeah, well, I pitched
a little in college.
139
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:07,901
Seriously, I think
I'm going to puke.
140
00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:10,868
Rub?
141
00:07:11,501 --> 00:07:13,100
(CAR HONKING)
142
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,234
Hey, Dennis,
cue up my music!
143
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,667
Huh?
144
00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:30,400
Well, how am I supposed
to take the mound without hearing Bad to the Bone?
145
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:34,767
Ah, actually,
Maya was just pitching.
146
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:39,000
Well, isn't that cute?
147
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,601
Thanks, kitten.
I'd love you to pitch,
148
00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:45,701
but I've got a big bet
on the game and we really need to win this one.
149
00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:47,667
Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Fine.
150
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,100
All right.
Give me the heat.
151
00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:06,667
Dennis, when you get
the ball, pick me up one of those Eskimo Pies.
152
00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:16,567
Okay, chest.
153
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,534
I can wait all day.
154
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,567
(EXHALES)
155
00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:28,367
Finch, what are you
planning to do about the pitching situation?
156
00:08:28,434 --> 00:08:30,067
Yeah, we're
tired of losing.
157
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:32,634
I for one do not enjoy
looking like a fool.
158
00:08:32,701 --> 00:08:35,334
Um, you'll have to take
that one up with God.
159
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,701
Our only hope of beating
Cosmo is if Maya pitches. Now you're the manager.
160
00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:42,667
Yeah. When there's
dirty work to be done, I'm the manager.
161
00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:44,334
But when I ask you
to call me Skipper,
162
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,734
you play keep-away
with my mitt.
163
00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:52,834
Hey, how's the old
throwing arm?
164
00:08:52,901 --> 00:08:55,734
Terrific. It's like
I didn't even pitch yesterday.
165
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,033
Yeah, it really is.
166
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:01,467
It's a shame you didn't
see Maya on the mound. She's pretty good.
167
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:04,534
Oh, yeah.
That's my girl.
168
00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:07,901
In fact, really good.
You taught her well.
169
00:09:07,968 --> 00:09:09,501
Actually,
I never taught her.
170
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:13,367
She used to play a lot
of catch with Lucita, our Dominican nanny.
171
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:17,467
I tell you, those
people are born to hit the cut-off man.
172
00:09:17,534 --> 00:09:20,000
Hey, Jack, listen.
I was thinking,
173
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:22,634
you know, I'd rather
not play ball.
174
00:09:22,701 --> 00:09:25,267
It's distracting me
from my job.
175
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:26,801
What the hell are
you talking about?
176
00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:29,667
Oh, listen, I got
some great ideas for this magazine.
177
00:09:29,734 --> 00:09:31,400
No, you don't.
178
00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:34,000
I do too.
179
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:37,734
Hey, listen.
You just concentrate on hitting home runs.
180
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:40,267
You know what, I quit.
181
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:42,400
I can make more money
autographing baseballs.
182
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:45,334
(LAUGHING) How?
By forging "Reggie Jackson"?
183
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,300
This is great.
184
00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:53,868
This is just perfect. Hey!
185
00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:56,300
Is Pete Rose
out of jail yet?
186
00:09:57,667 --> 00:10:00,567
So we're agreed,
Maya's going to pitch?
187
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,234
What's that?
The team felt
188
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,701
we have a better
chance of winning if Maya pitches.
189
00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:08,200
I see.
190
00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,868
But of course,
you have final say.
191
00:10:09,934 --> 00:10:11,234
Fine, I'm pitching.
192
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,434
But you're terrible.
193
00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:18,133
If I'm so terrible,
why does everyone call me "Mr. Strikeout"?
194
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,634
'Cause you can't
hit either.
195
00:10:20,701 --> 00:10:24,067
Oh, I didn't see
that one coming.
196
00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:27,367
Look, no one knows
the pride of a champion more than I do.
197
00:10:27,434 --> 00:10:30,901
But you have to know
when to bow out gracefully. I did.
198
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:35,734
Oh, no. Not that
cockamamie story about ice dancing again.
199
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,934
It's figure skating.
Ice dancing's for pansies.
200
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,667
Hey, Elliott, let me
ask you something.
201
00:10:44,734 --> 00:10:46,234
You think Maya
should pitch?
202
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,868
Oh, I don't know, Jack.
I was way out in right field.
203
00:10:49,934 --> 00:10:52,567
Go on, feel free.
What do you think?
204
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,367
She seems to have
a pretty good arm.
205
00:10:56,434 --> 00:10:59,501
Well, then why
don't you marry her?
206
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:02,634
Oh, speaking of marriage,
I just heard that Cosmo's center fielder
207
00:11:02,701 --> 00:11:05,234
enjoys wearing his
wife's naughtiest...
208
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,767
Sorry, you were
yelling at Elliott.
209
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,334
What's going on?
210
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,033
I understand you put on
quite a show yesterday.
211
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,400
Whatever you heard
was exaggerated.
212
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:19,801
I figured as much. They were
actually insisting you're a better pitcher than me.
213
00:11:19,868 --> 00:11:21,267
I knew it was absurd.
214
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:23,033
Yeah, I... Absurd?
215
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,534
Well, it's not absurd.
216
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,701
Okay, let's see
what you can do.
217
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:33,400
Huh?
218
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:35,567
Let's see your stuff. Oh...
219
00:11:37,634 --> 00:11:39,901
Wind took it.
220
00:11:39,968 --> 00:11:42,067
Dad, I don't... I don't...
I don't think this is such a good idea.
221
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:48,133
Why not?
Because, uh, when I pitch, I become a little obsessed.
222
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,901
What does that mean,
"obsessed"?
223
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:52,801
At one point,
I was practicing 18 hours a day.
224
00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,267
When?
225
00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:56,701
At college,
when I pitched for Stanford.
226
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:59,133
Oh, yeah, that's
pretty impressive.
227
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,434
An all-girl team,
I'm assuming?
228
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,834
Get over there.
229
00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:11,267
(EXHALES)
230
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,701
Ready?
231
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,934
Oh, I think I can handle it.
232
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,501
Whoa!
233
00:12:28,334 --> 00:12:31,300
Dennis, call Cosmo
and double the bet.
234
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,000
(CHUCKLING)
235
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:47,033
All right, squad,
236
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,133
I just got off the phone
with my contact at the National Weather Service.
237
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,534
You mean the recording?
238
00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:55,601
Whatever.
Look, the storm's not letting up,
239
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:58,767
so lunchtime practice
is cancelled.
240
00:12:58,834 --> 00:13:00,634
Hey, Maya, we're
finding you a nickname.
241
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,234
I don't want a nickname.
I want to start pitching.
242
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,133
How about "Swifty"?
"Rocket"?
243
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,434
"Screamer"?
Already taken.
244
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,567
I don't want a nickname.
245
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:12,067
Something with
a little pizzazz.
246
00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:13,567
How about the
"Queen of Quick"?
247
00:13:13,634 --> 00:13:14,934
"Senora Speedball."
248
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,234
Taken.
249
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,701
Shouldn't we be
going to practice?
250
00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:20,434
DENNIS: Not in this weather.
251
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:23,000
There's something
about my shape and chemical composition
252
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:25,734
that makes me
a human lightning rod.
253
00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:27,534
It's only rain.
You won't melt.
254
00:13:27,601 --> 00:13:29,734
Oh, please. That's what
they told my friend, Binnie.
255
00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:33,601
You people make me sick!
You deserve to lose every year!
256
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,234
What a nut job.
257
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,701
"Nut job"?
That's good. Write that down.
258
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,400
What about you, Finch?
259
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:46,467
I need to pitch,
and you're the best catcher I've ever seen.
260
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:50,334
Um, nice try, but there's
no way I'm going out in that rain.
261
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:54,000
I'm wearing a white t-shirt.
262
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,734
Let's play some ball.
263
00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:03,701
She just kept pitching
264
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:05,868
and pitching.
265
00:14:05,934 --> 00:14:09,801
Lightning hit a tree
20 feet away, she didn't even flinch.
266
00:14:09,868 --> 00:14:11,667
When I said I was tired,
267
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:14,767
she just stared at me
with those dead eyes.
268
00:14:16,234 --> 00:14:18,267
Her mother had those eyes.
269
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:22,767
Jack, Maya's obsessed.
270
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,601
She's out of control.
271
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,567
Trust me,
I know the signs.
272
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,868
Dennis, let's not
get so dramatic.
273
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:34,300
It's just a softball game.
274
00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:38,267
The most important
softball game ever played.
275
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:41,133
I want to win,
Maya wants to pitch.
276
00:14:41,901 --> 00:14:44,667
End of story.
277
00:14:44,734 --> 00:14:48,300
Well, then you can
count me out. I won't do that to Maya.
278
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:51,067
Fine. So I guess you
won't be needing
279
00:14:52,334 --> 00:14:53,467
this.
280
00:14:57,100 --> 00:15:00,234
(CHUCKLING) Damn you,
Jack Gallo! Give me that.
281
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,067
(OBSESSED LAUGHING)
282
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:05,033
(SHRILL VOICE) Skipper!
283
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:18,100
Good afternoon, viewers,
and what a beautiful day to play baseball.
284
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,234
Looks like we're just about
ready to start the game.
285
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,767
Blush versus Cosmo.
The Battle of Titans.
286
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,300
You got to love it.
Although, side note,
287
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,934
in a world envisioned
by sci-fi master Gene Roddenberry,
288
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,000
there would be
no competition. Food for thought.
289
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:35,501
ELLIOTT: Okay,
Elliott, this is it. Time to shine.
290
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:37,601
Some of these guys
look pretty green.
291
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:41,033
It's your job to show
them how it's done. They look up to you.
292
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,701
NINA: Heads up!
293
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:50,701
Hey, Nina, I need
to loosen up. Throw me a ground ball.
294
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:54,100
Oh! Okay,
now throw me an ice pack.
295
00:15:56,634 --> 00:16:01,367
On the mound for Blush
is Maya Gallo. Or as I like to call her, "The Flash."
296
00:16:01,434 --> 00:16:03,534
Taken!
297
00:16:03,601 --> 00:16:06,000
All right,
first batter. Look alive.
298
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:09,534
Wait, Elliott's on
his back in right field.
299
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:12,968
I don't think it really
makes a difference.
300
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:15,901
Yoo-hoo, batter.
How's the rehab going?
301
00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:19,234
Third time's the charm.
302
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:21,934
(SNORTING)
Okay, everybody, here we go.
303
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,567
Nice. Nice.
Very nice. Real nice.
304
00:16:36,634 --> 00:16:38,100
Okay, now me.
305
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,267
Nina!
306
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:46,100
GLENN: Through six innings,
Maya Gallo has been perfect.
307
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:49,601
Come on. Why don't
you all take a seat? I can strike this joker out.
308
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:53,000
GLENN: She makes it hard
to root for her, doesn't she?
309
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:56,400
Look, I want to win
as much as anyone, but you don't have to humiliate them.
310
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,868
Sorry. It won't happen again.
311
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,234
Let's go.
MAYA: All right.
312
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,901
Let's play ball!
313
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,734
ALL: (WHOOPING) Go Maya!
314
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:18,467
Come on, Dad,
bases loaded! Get closer to the plate.
315
00:17:19,501 --> 00:17:20,767
Closer!
316
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:26,033
That a-way!
Hustle to first!
317
00:17:27,601 --> 00:17:28,934
ELLIOTT: Jack,
are you all right?
318
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,734
MAYA: One run!
That's all I need!
319
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,834
NINA: Jack, Jack,
can you hear me?
320
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:35,300
You are all my bitches!
321
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,968
(GRUNTING) Take her out.
322
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,701
Hey, good news.
Your dad's vision's clearing up.
323
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,901
I told you never to talk
to me between innings.
324
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:54,300
Maya, listen to me.
I'm pulling you out of the game.
325
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,868
(SCOFFING) Yeah,
you and how many Green Berets?
326
00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:59,601
It's over. You're
out of control.
327
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:01,567
How would you know?
328
00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:03,367
Albany, New York.
329
00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:06,801
Regional Figure
Skating Championships.
330
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,534
I just had
the skate of my life.
331
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:10,367
Oh.
332
00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:13,367
(LAUGHING) Thanks.
333
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:16,734
DENNIS: Double toe loop,
triple axel, triple Lutz.
334
00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:19,701
I was expecting the first
perfect scores of my life
335
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,701
when my world caved in.
336
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,634
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
337
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,400
ANNOUNCER: 6.0.
338
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:29,234
6.0.
339
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,501
6.0.
340
00:18:31,601 --> 00:18:33,000
6.0.
341
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,667
6.0.
342
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:36,033
5.7.
343
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,334
6.0.
344
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:39,534
5.7?
345
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:42,634
Five freakin' seven?
346
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,033
(SCREAMING)
347
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,634
(SCREAMING) What happened?
348
00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:54,234
Give me back my youth.
Give me my childhood!
349
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,467
(CRYING MANIACALLY)
350
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,701
You bastard!
What happened?
351
00:19:00,601 --> 00:19:02,734
And I never laced up again.
352
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:09,067
But I only have one more
inning and then I swear, I'll never do it again.
353
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,767
We both know
it doesn't work that way.
354
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:13,267
Finch, I'm this close
to a perfect game.
355
00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:15,701
It's all I've ever
wanted my whole life.
356
00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:20,133
What would you give
to have another chance at a perfect score?
357
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,300
(SIGHS)
358
00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:24,501
Hit Me With
Your Best Shot.
359
00:19:24,567 --> 00:19:28,434
No, that was the song
I skated to that night.
360
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,934
But go get them.
Thanks!
361
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,300
Let's do it.
362
00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:34,534
GLENN: Well, this is it,
folks. Blush is up 1-0,
363
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:37,467
and Maya Gallo is
one batter away from a perfect game.
364
00:19:37,534 --> 00:19:40,067
Cosmo's last chance is...
Hang on.
365
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:45,033
Don't put the kids to bed yet!
Pinch hitting is none other than Steve Garvey.
366
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,434
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
367
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:48,801
They got a ringer!
368
00:19:48,868 --> 00:19:52,601
No, no, no. They hired me.
They like my article ideas.
369
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,300
Like what?
370
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:58,434
Supermodels reminisce
about their most powerful orgasm.
371
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,901
Damn! That's fabulous!
372
00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:03,934
Hey, we could win this game.
Just pitch around him.
373
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,067
No, Dad,
I'm pitching a perfect game.
374
00:20:06,133 --> 00:20:09,334
Maya, be realistic.
He's a ten-time All-Star.
375
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,834
Hi. Hi. What are we
talking about?
376
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,000
Get back out there.
377
00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,234
Right.
378
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,634
Don't worry.
I'll take care of this.
379
00:20:14,701 --> 00:20:16,767
Yoo-hoo, Garvey!
380
00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:21,367
How does it feel to have
retired right before baseball salaries sky-rocketed?
381
00:20:21,434 --> 00:20:25,367
Hey, Nina, how did
it feel not being asked to your senior prom?
382
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:29,167
(CRYING) Who says
I even wanted to go?
383
00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:35,033
Look, it's getting dark.
Three pitches. That's all I need.
384
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,434
Come on!
385
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:40,000
All right. Let's get this
pretty boy out and go home.
386
00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,467
Okay.
387
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,434
GLENN: Garvey up.
388
00:20:45,501 --> 00:20:46,968
You could cut the tension
with the shards of a shattered coffee mug
389
00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:48,868
my Nana gave to me.
390
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:53,267
The wind-up, and the pitch.
391
00:20:53,334 --> 00:20:58,200
And he hits a pop fly to
right field. This should just be the game, folks.
392
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:00,334
I got it! I got it!
393
00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:06,000
Come on, catch it.
394
00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:07,434
(GRUNTING) Catch it!
395
00:21:07,501 --> 00:21:10,300
Wait a minute.
I really got it.
396
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:14,834
Oh, my God.
I think he's got it.
397
00:21:16,934 --> 00:21:20,133
GLENN: He missed it!
He missed it! There goes the perfect game!
398
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,701
Oh my!
399
00:21:28,901 --> 00:21:30,501
(YELLING)
400
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,434
Okay, nobody tell her
about the bowling team.
401
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,501
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you
402
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:52,334
* Keeps bringing me home
403
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,434
* It don't matter
what I wanna do
404
00:21:55,501 --> 00:22:00,000
* 'Cause it's got
a mind of its own
405
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:06,300
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you *
406
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:10,900
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