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1
00:00:03,267 --> 00:00:04,634
MAYA: Previously on
Just Shoot Me.
2
00:00:04,701 --> 00:00:07,133
Dad, I know
this divorce has been hard on you.
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,567
It's been hard
on everyone.
4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,868
I hate the fact
you guys aren't together anymore,
5
00:00:10,934 --> 00:00:14,167
but I know
there's nothing we can do about it.
6
00:00:14,234 --> 00:00:15,734
You gotta move on.
7
00:00:15,801 --> 00:00:19,100
I'm talking about
Tyra Banks for the cover.
8
00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:21,367
Don't you have
a huge crush on her?
9
00:00:21,434 --> 00:00:24,601
Maya, I deal
with supermodels on a daily basis
10
00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:28,234
and I can assure you
that I love her so much it hurts.
11
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,667
Why are you two
holding hands?
12
00:00:31,734 --> 00:00:33,567
Why are you wearing
the same thing as last night?
13
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,200
Before you jump
to any conclusions,
14
00:00:35,267 --> 00:00:38,000
there's a perfectly
good explanation.
15
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:40,400
Your father
and I had sex.
16
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:41,634
You two had sex?
17
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:44,033
What's this?
18
00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:47,567
It's a stun gun.
The latest spy technology.
19
00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:51,300
(ELECTRIC BUZZING)
20
00:00:52,601 --> 00:00:54,567
That's cute.
21
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,367
Tyra's on her way up.
22
00:00:56,434 --> 00:00:58,501
Oh, I told you
to stop playing with that thing.
23
00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:00,868
Oh, it doesn't
work anyway. See?
24
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:08,033
(EXCLAIMS)
25
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,234
Oh, Elliott, it's nice
to finally meet you.
26
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,934
(MUMBLING)
27
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,400
You know what,
you are scaring me.
28
00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:19,133
(EXCLAIMS)
29
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,767
Get away from me,
you freak!
30
00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:22,868
(SCREAMING)
31
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,000
Miss Van Horn
and I are...
32
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,901
We're all through running
around like a couple of crazy teenagers.
33
00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:30,100
Thank God.
34
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,100
That's right.
We're getting married!
35
00:01:33,167 --> 00:01:34,434
What?
36
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:37,467
Come on, Dennis.
Give your stepmom a big hug.
37
00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:57,501
RED: Dennis.
38
00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:58,734
Dennis, didn't you
hear what we said?
39
00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:01,501
Nina and I
are getting married.
40
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:03,467
What's wrong
with him?
41
00:02:06,868 --> 00:02:09,000
He's gone
to his happy place.
42
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:11,434
His happy place?
43
00:02:11,501 --> 00:02:14,100
Yeah, he does this
whenever he gets upset.
44
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:17,801
God only knows
what goes on inside that little head of his.
45
00:02:18,968 --> 00:02:20,534
(CLOCK TICKING)
46
00:02:26,467 --> 00:02:27,467
(EXCLAIMS)
47
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:30,501
I won! Yay for me!
48
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,100
You lost. You suck.
49
00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:33,968
(IMITATING CRYING)
I want my mommy.
50
00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:35,434
(EXCLAIMING)
51
00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:44,100
Dennis! Dennis!
52
00:02:44,701 --> 00:02:46,400
Is he okay?
53
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,834
Yeah. There's only
one thing that can snap him out of this.
54
00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:50,701
Dennis, your math
tutor is here.
55
00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:54,133
Margie? Margie?
56
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,667
Three bucks an hour,
all he did was stare at her bosoms.
57
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:07,300
Do you think
Spider-Man eats bugs?
58
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,934
Why are you here?
59
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,667
Dennis is in my office
trying to deal with his dad's engagement.
60
00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:18,667
Poor guy,
I'm giving him a little time to pull himself together.
61
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:20,968
That's sweet of you.
62
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,100
He's got three minutes.
63
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:24,501
What?
64
00:03:24,567 --> 00:03:27,200
The Ernest Hemingway auction
is about to start in London
65
00:03:27,267 --> 00:03:28,801
and I need him
to phone in a bid.
66
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:30,767
So, what are you
gonna bid on?
67
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,534
Something for
my living room.
68
00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:35,567
Maybe an elephant tusk
or stuffed marlin.
69
00:03:35,634 --> 00:03:37,367
Something dead
to spruce up the place.
70
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,100
Exactly.
71
00:03:39,167 --> 00:03:41,000
Ooh, what about this?
72
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:44,934
A set of solid gold
golf tees given to Hemingway by John Wayne.
73
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,033
Hemingway and John Wayne.
I love it.
74
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:53,667
Just think, a set of tees
passed from the Duke to Papa to The Kid.
75
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,067
The Kid?
Who's The Kid?
76
00:03:57,133 --> 00:04:00,100
I'm The Kid,
as of now.
77
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:01,934
Put out a memo.
78
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,834
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
79
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:05,934
Come on, Dennis,
stop fooling around.
80
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,267
Now get out here
or I'll break down the door.
81
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:11,133
(EXHALES) He's like
the Big Bad Wolf.
82
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,534
(GROWLING)
83
00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:17,033
You know,
the key's on the desk.
84
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:19,000
Really?
Oh, thank you.
85
00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:21,434
Killjoy.
86
00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:22,567
Ow.
87
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:26,667
What are you doing?
88
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:27,968
Nothin'.
89
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:29,934
Mind if I sit?
90
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,334
It's a free country.
91
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,567
Don't eat those things
lying down. You'll choke.
92
00:04:33,634 --> 00:04:35,868
You've lost your privileges
to give me fatherly advice.
93
00:04:35,934 --> 00:04:37,667
All right, then
as a fireman, okay?
94
00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:40,701
I've seen a lot
of characters choke on snacks.
95
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:45,968
What were you thinking?
96
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,667
You and Nina are gonna
move back to Albany and live happily ever after?
97
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:51,267
For God sakes,
the bars close at ten!
98
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,667
Actually, I was thinking
about moving here.
99
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:56,567
Maybe even finding
a new line of work.
100
00:04:56,634 --> 00:04:58,167
But you love
being a fireman.
101
00:04:58,234 --> 00:05:01,834
I don't know.
When you think about it, what do we even do?
102
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,234
(STUTTERS)
103
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,234
Pull people
from burning buildings.
104
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:10,534
What's the point?
Another one goes up the next day.
105
00:05:12,434 --> 00:05:14,334
My God,
listen to yourself.
106
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,067
What?
107
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:17,667
Nina's sucking
the life out of you.
108
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,133
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
109
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,734
What we do behind closed doors
is none of your business.
110
00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:30,267
You know what?
I like Nina, a lot.
111
00:05:30,334 --> 00:05:34,000
In a carnival
sideshow sort of way.
112
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,300
But you shouldn't
be marrying her.
113
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,501
Where was this tone
of disapproval
114
00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:41,133
when your mother
started dating Mr. Fancy Preacher man?
115
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,601
(CHUCKLES) Now that guy,
he's a real jim-dandy.
116
00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:46,601
Mr. Wine with
a cork. Huh?
117
00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:51,901
Yeah, sure. Mr. Pretty Boy
with his... With his 1% milk and his digital watch.
118
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:54,133
And what does he have
that I don't have, huh?
119
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,267
Besides a direct line
to God?
120
00:05:56,334 --> 00:05:59,934
Not my God, mind you.
My God is a vengeful God.
121
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,133
Jack!
122
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,467
This Tyra Banks thing
is getting out of hand.
123
00:06:19,534 --> 00:06:22,334
She won't take my calls.
She refused the flowers I sent her.
124
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,067
She thinks
I'm a slobbering idiot.
125
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,667
Well, can you
blame her?
126
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:29,801
What with the foaming
and the twitching. Very unprofessional.
127
00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:33,200
If it hadn't been my fault,
I would have fired you.
128
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:36,400
Here. I'm dialing
Tyra's number.
129
00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:39,434
I want you to tell her
that I'm not crazy.
130
00:06:39,501 --> 00:06:42,567
All right, fair enough.
The Kid will handle this.
131
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:44,167
Yeah, I want you
to tell her the whole truth.
132
00:06:44,234 --> 00:06:47,000
Except for the part
about me wetting my pants.
133
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,467
ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hey, this is Tyra.
134
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,767
Please leave a message
and I'll call you right back.
135
00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,334
(BEEPS)
136
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,400
ON SPEAKER:
Tyra, Jack Gallo.
137
00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:56,000
About the other day
with Elliott,
138
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:59,734
he's gonna explain
what happened and I vouch for every word.
139
00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:01,267
Elliott, take it away.
140
00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,868
(SCREAMING) Tyra!
141
00:07:09,968 --> 00:07:14,033
You know, you're not helping
yourself when you act crazy like that.
142
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:23,300
There he is.
143
00:07:24,701 --> 00:07:25,734
What are you wearing?
144
00:07:25,801 --> 00:07:27,334
Oh, we've been
to Barneys.
145
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,567
You like the new
duds, huh?
146
00:07:28,634 --> 00:07:30,601
I'm even wearing
silk shorts.
147
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:34,567
Feels like my privates
are resting on a cloud.
148
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:38,100
Here. I noticed
some of your clothes looked a little worn.
149
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,267
You bought me clothes?
150
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,434
What do you say
to your stepmom, huh?
151
00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:43,801
Stop calling her that.
152
00:07:43,868 --> 00:07:45,167
Try the clothes
on, Dennis.
153
00:07:45,234 --> 00:07:46,367
No!
154
00:07:46,434 --> 00:07:49,300
Oh, look,
you've got a little smudge right here.
155
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:50,501
What are you doing?
156
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,534
Oh, now don't be afraid
to be mothered.
157
00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:55,133
I'm not afraid to be mothered.
I'm afraid of your saliva.
158
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,400
I just rented Outbreak.
159
00:07:58,467 --> 00:08:01,100
I want you to get to know
your stepmom better.
160
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:04,934
Me? I've known her forever.
It's you two that don't know what you're getting into.
161
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,067
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
I'm not as square as you think I am.
162
00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:10,234
I've been line dancing.
163
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,801
NINA: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
164
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,501
And tonight
we're going club-hopping with my friend Binnie
165
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,033
and that sexually
ambiguous couple
166
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,567
who train her
on the trampoline.
167
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,667
(CHUCKLING)
It sounds like fun, huh?
168
00:08:18,734 --> 00:08:20,534
Fun?
169
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:24,100
What happened to the guy
that chased the road company of Hair out of town?
170
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,200
Nina, could you excuse
the men for a second?
171
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:28,901
Oh, when you talk
like that it makes me just want to curl up in a little...
172
00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:30,067
Back off, Nina.
173
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:32,634
Hey, you're not
too old for a spanking.
174
00:08:32,701 --> 00:08:34,601
And I hope
I never am.
175
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,434
Dennis. Dennis.
Dennis.
176
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:44,567
I can read you
like a breakfast menu.
177
00:08:44,634 --> 00:08:46,234
I think I know
what's bothering you.
178
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,601
I told you
what's bothering me.
179
00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:49,400
You're marrying someone
you don't know.
180
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,434
That's not it.
181
00:08:51,501 --> 00:08:54,334
It's like that TV movie,
I'm Your New Mom.
182
00:08:56,367 --> 00:09:01,033
Tom Skerritt plays Crocker,
a grizzled old something or other.
183
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,801
Who's haunted
by his past.
184
00:09:03,868 --> 00:09:08,400
Susan Dey plays
the therapist who's trying to help him remember...
185
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,200
Or forget...
186
00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,200
I forget.
187
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:16,033
Anyway, naturally
they fall in love. And all is swell.
188
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:19,434
Except with
Crocker's daughter.
189
00:09:19,501 --> 00:09:22,300
The saucy girl
from Growing Pains.
190
00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:23,801
Oh, I like her.
191
00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:26,734
Yeah. She's good.
She's always understated.
192
00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,601
Hmm.
193
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:31,834
Anyway, she has a problem
with her new stepmom
194
00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:35,434
and it's not till
after her descent into madness
195
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,167
and then
the blizzard,
196
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:42,200
that she realizes
how much she needs her stepmom.
197
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,834
Don't you see?
198
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:48,200
Dennis. Dennis!
199
00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:51,200
You're the saucy girl
from Growing Pains!
200
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:54,968
(GRUNTING IN FRUSTRATION)
201
00:09:56,701 --> 00:09:58,200
What?
202
00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:01,901
My dad and Nina are about
to make the biggest mistake of their lives,
203
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,834
and Nina went camping
with Ike Turner once.
204
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,434
Let me tell you
a little story.
205
00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:12,067
What is this, story day?
206
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,601
The only memo I got
was about calling Jack "The Kid."
207
00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,167
All right,
I'll skip the story.
208
00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:21,734
But it's pretty moving.
209
00:10:21,801 --> 00:10:25,734
It's about a dog
and a hamster and a balloon ride they'll never forget.
210
00:10:28,868 --> 00:10:31,167
What are you talking about?
211
00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:35,734
Sometimes the most
unlikely pairings can find happiness together.
212
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,300
Who knows?
213
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:40,834
Maybe being with Nina
is the healthiest thing your dad has ever done.
214
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:43,067
Damn it, don't you
die on me!
215
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,000
(GRUNTING)
216
00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:48,267
Come on, Red.
Come on, Reddy.
217
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:50,667
Come on, big Red.
Come on, Red.
218
00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:06,100
Sorry.
219
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:07,901
Maya?
Hi.
220
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,801
How's he doing?
I don't know. I just got here.
221
00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,267
Nina called me
looking for your number.
222
00:11:11,334 --> 00:11:13,734
I thought I'd see
if I could help.
223
00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:16,000
DENNIS: Oh my God,
look at him.
224
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:19,200
Thirty years of
fighting fires, never once called in sick.
225
00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:22,901
Three days with Nina
and he's eating through a tube.
226
00:11:22,968 --> 00:11:24,534
Hi, I'm Dr. Cooper.
227
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,234
Hi. I'm Dennis Finch,
the patient's son. How is he?
228
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,534
Good news.
He didn't have a heart attack.
229
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:30,601
(BOTH SIGH)
230
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,267
It was probably
just anxiety.
231
00:11:32,334 --> 00:11:36,267
Has he been under
an unusual amount of stress lately?
232
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:39,300
Oh, great.
Now there's a tube in his arm!
233
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:42,734
(CRYING) Oh, why does
everything have to happen to me?
234
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,200
Nina.
235
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:48,634
Oh, I can't bear
to see him like this. Doctor, pull the plug.
236
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,601
I'm not going
to pull the plug.
237
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:55,200
Oh, it's okay.
I'm practically his wife.
238
00:11:55,267 --> 00:11:57,634
Nina, he's not
even dying.
239
00:11:57,701 --> 00:11:58,901
How's that?
240
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,767
He's gonna be fine.
He just had an anxiety attack.
241
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:02,300
Anxiety?
242
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,601
(SIGHS)
243
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,167
Thank you.
244
00:12:10,234 --> 00:12:11,267
Those weren't for you!
245
00:12:11,334 --> 00:12:13,400
Oh, sorry.
How much do I owe you?
246
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:15,534
(SIGHS)
247
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:19,100
You aren't, by chance,
on any other kind of medication right now?
248
00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:20,501
Of course.
249
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,100
Which medication?
250
00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:27,534
Well, I'm gonna need
a pen, some paper, and a Spanish dictionary.
251
00:12:39,701 --> 00:12:41,901
You wanted
to see me?
252
00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:45,234
Elliott, don't be mad.
Have a seat.
253
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:49,834
No, thanks. I like it here
where I'm two steps closer to the first aid kit.
254
00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:53,367
You're overreacting.
255
00:12:53,434 --> 00:12:55,601
Am I?
256
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:59,434
Last night I dreamt
I was in Tyra Banks' bedroom and she was calling to me.
257
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:03,934
Come on, Elliott.
It's so lonely here by myself.
258
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,400
Oh, this is gonna be
so much fun.
259
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:09,434
ELLIOTT:
Then you appeared.
260
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:13,234
Hey, Elliott.
Check out my new crossbow.
261
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,834
Jack?
Put that thing down.
262
00:13:15,901 --> 00:13:18,267
Oh, don't worry.
It's not loaded.
263
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,734
Ew!
264
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:26,434
So you'll forgive me
if I'm "overreacting."
265
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:29,701
Elliott, what would
Hemingway do in this situation?
266
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:34,400
He wouldn't fret about
a phone message here or a golf ball there.
267
00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:37,567
He'd reach out
and take hold of what he wanted.
268
00:13:37,634 --> 00:13:43,033
What I want is not
to have to shriek when I go to the bathroom.
269
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:48,334
So, I made a few calls,
and Tyra has agreed to stop by this afternoon.
270
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,501
Really?
Well, how'd you do that?
271
00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:54,100
How? 'Cause I'm The Kid,
that's how.
272
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,534
Here's your chance
to run with the bulls.
273
00:13:57,601 --> 00:13:59,300
I appreciate it.
Thanks, Jack.
274
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:03,200
Hey, and speaking of bulls,
check out my new bullwhip.
275
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:08,000
I just got back
from the hospital.
276
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,133
How's Red doing?
277
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,334
He's gonna be okay.
It was an anxiety attack.
278
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,434
(CHUCKLES)
279
00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:14,234
Times like these
make you realize
280
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,701
the only thing
that's important is your health.
281
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,167
All that other stuff...
282
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:19,534
Is that my package?
Yup.
283
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:23,801
Hey! A man waits
his whole life for something like this.
284
00:14:23,868 --> 00:14:27,300
From John Wayne
to Ernest Hemingway to The Kid.
285
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,634
Maya, behold.
286
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:32,000
What the hell is this?
287
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,200
Looks like a tea set.
288
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:38,701
I know it's a tea set.
It's supposed to be a set of tees! Golf tees!
289
00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:40,400
I think
it's kind of cute.
290
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,234
Cute?
291
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,901
The Kid
is not about cute.
292
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,767
The Kid is about
bullfights and bar fights
293
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,167
and old fishermen
and young whores.
294
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:52,734
Cute!
Cute makes me sick!
295
00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:54,801
I was only
trying to help.
296
00:14:57,534 --> 00:14:59,300
It is kind of cute.
297
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,701
Hey!
298
00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:12,634
Hey, Dad.
You feeling all right?
299
00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:13,734
What happened?
300
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:15,367
You had
an anxiety attack.
301
00:15:15,434 --> 00:15:17,701
An anxiety attack?
302
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:22,834
Oh, boy. The guys
in the firehouse are gonna have a field day with this.
303
00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:23,901
Son, do me a favor,
will you?
304
00:15:23,968 --> 00:15:25,000
Anything.
305
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,701
Go downstairs to my car.
306
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:28,868
In the glove compartment
you'll find a hunting knife with an eight-inch blade,
307
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:31,634
bring it up here
and jam it into my leg.
308
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,234
It's nothing
to be ashamed of.
309
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,667
(SIGHS)
310
00:15:36,734 --> 00:15:38,100
You're not
the first guy Nina's put in the hospital.
311
00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:41,734
In fact,
you're not the fourth.
312
00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:44,667
Don't put everything on her.
I didn't do anything I didn't want to do.
313
00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:45,901
Although...
314
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:47,767
What?
315
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,968
Well, Dennis, you've been
with a lot of different women, right?
316
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,200
(CHUCKLES)
I do okay, yeah.
317
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:58,434
I want to ask you
a question, man to man.
318
00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:02,767
Is it normal
for your partner to say, "Trust me" and then...
319
00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,167
RED: That's it.
That's it.
320
00:16:05,234 --> 00:16:06,968
That's it,
your color's coming back,
321
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,701
now what there is
of it. Yeah.
322
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:09,767
(MOANING)
323
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,634
I'll be fine.
324
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:14,801
I'll just pretend
that's something I read in a book.
325
00:16:14,868 --> 00:16:15,968
Scooch over,
will you?
326
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:18,901
Oh, yeah.
327
00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:25,100
Dad, I'm sorry I've been
such a pain in the ass the last couple of days.
328
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,934
And if you want
to marry Nina, that's fine.
329
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,367
She's a great girl and
I think she'll make you really happy.
330
00:16:31,434 --> 00:16:32,968
What if I don't
want to marry her?
331
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:36,534
Great. I'm begging you,
please don't.
332
00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:40,400
The thing is,
you know, Nina's great, but she's like...
333
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,567
She's like candied apples.
334
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:45,834
Once a year
at the harvest festival, boy, it's a real treat.
335
00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:48,033
But you can't
have one every day.
336
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:52,033
And certainly not
three times in one night.
337
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:54,334
Stay with me.
Stay with me, boy. Stay with me.
338
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,300
(GROANS)
339
00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:59,367
Dad... Dad,
if you're having your doubts, you've got to break it off.
340
00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:03,501
No. No. No.
I made a commitment. I intend to live up to it.
341
00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:05,667
You can't get married
if you know it's not gonna work.
342
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,901
The hell I can't!
That's the trouble with your generation.
343
00:17:08,968 --> 00:17:11,501
No, you expect
everything to be perfect.
344
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:14,567
Happy marriages,
clean air, lead-free paint.
345
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,300
(EXCLAIMS)
346
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:17,834
So you're gonna go
through with it even if it kills you?
347
00:17:17,901 --> 00:17:19,200
Absolutely.
348
00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:21,133
Like my friend Binnie says,
"Never steal a police car
349
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:25,934
"unless you're prepared
to floor it all the way to Mexico."
350
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,300
Oh, my God, Dad,
you just said, "My friend, Binnie."
351
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:30,734
I'm scared.
352
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,634
So am I, Son.
353
00:17:35,734 --> 00:17:37,000
So am I.
354
00:17:44,934 --> 00:17:46,300
She's here.
355
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:48,534
Tyra's in the building.
She's on her way up.
356
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,767
(SIGHING)
357
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,734
Wonderful.
Shouldn't you be out there?
358
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,467
Yeah, I should be.
359
00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:58,067
You know, it's just...
360
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:00,100
It's gone wrong
so many times, I'm a little nervous.
361
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:02,567
Are you saying
you can't face a woman?
362
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:04,767
Come on, be a man.
363
00:18:06,934 --> 00:18:09,067
Is that
your tea set, Jack?
364
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:13,033
Yes, would you like some?
It's chamomile.
365
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,601
That set's
a little dainty, isn't it?
366
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,567
Dainty?
367
00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:20,634
I'll have you know
this used to belong to Hemingway.
368
00:18:20,701 --> 00:18:22,367
Mariel or Margaux?
369
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:27,434
Elliott, Tyra Banks
is out there waiting for you.
370
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:28,801
(EXHALES)
371
00:18:29,801 --> 00:18:31,501
Okay, how do I look?
372
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:33,067
Perfect. Here.
373
00:18:34,234 --> 00:18:36,767
Have some tea.
It'll calm you down.
374
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,934
(SCREAMING)
375
00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:41,701
Oh, Lord, it burns.
376
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:44,400
Oh, Lord, it burns.
Oh, Lord, it burns. Oh, Lord, it burns.
377
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:45,968
(EXCLAIMS)
I knew you were crazy!
378
00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:47,033
Give it to me...
379
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,133
(SCREAMS)
380
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,534
Take that!
381
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:57,868
Hey, I'm gonna take off.
382
00:18:57,934 --> 00:18:59,467
Well, how is he?
383
00:18:59,534 --> 00:19:00,901
He's fine.
384
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,334
What are you...
What are you doing?
385
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,667
Oh, I was just going
over some wedding stuff.
386
00:19:07,734 --> 00:19:09,501
You know, we thought
it would be a great idea
387
00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:12,100
if we put some
disposable cameras on all the tables
388
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,634
and that way
everybody could come up
389
00:19:13,701 --> 00:19:16,901
and take a picture of me
with my happy wedding day smile.
390
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,868
What's wrong with you?
391
00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:22,868
Nothing.
392
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:26,267
Nina, you only have
that smile when cops come to the office.
393
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:27,701
(SIGHS)
394
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:30,334
Look, this may come
as a surprise to you,
395
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,868
but the truth is your father
and I really don't have that much in common.
396
00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:36,934
I mean, we both know you.
397
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,133
Well, then why
are you marrying him?
398
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:45,400
Because he asked me.
I mean, what was I supposed to say? "No"?
399
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:48,534
Let me get this straight.
You don't want to marry my dad.
400
00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:51,868
(SIGHS) I just didn't know
it was gonna be such a big deal.
401
00:19:51,934 --> 00:19:53,667
Do you know
how many times I've been married?
402
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,000
No.
403
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:56,300
Well, is there some place
we could find out?
404
00:19:56,367 --> 00:19:59,801
Because my friend
Binnie and I sort of have a bet.
405
00:19:59,868 --> 00:20:02,501
Come on, Nina.
You're heading towards something here.
406
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:03,767
(SIGHS)
407
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,767
Last week, I was at
this really low point,
408
00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:10,567
and your father
was just so big and cuddly and big.
409
00:20:12,334 --> 00:20:13,434
And?
410
00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,467
I can't marry him.
411
00:20:16,534 --> 00:20:18,067
(SOFTLY) Yes!
412
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,167
That is so sad.
413
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,934
I just don't know
how I'm gonna tell him.
414
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,767
I'll do it.
Oh, thank you.
415
00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:26,834
I know
how to handle him. It'll be easy.
416
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,667
Easy?
Not easy.
417
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,767
Losing a woman like you,
he'll be crushed.
418
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:32,501
Crushed? I don't want
him to be crushed! Okay, I'll just marry him.
419
00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:35,868
No. No. No. Nina.
Think about it.
420
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,467
We both know
you can't marry my dad.
421
00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:39,734
(SIGHS)
422
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,868
Okay, then I won't.
423
00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:45,701
Okay, it's settled?
424
00:20:47,634 --> 00:20:48,734
Okay.
425
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,234
Hey, Dennis.
426
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,567
Yeah.
427
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:55,667
It would have been nice
having you for a stepson.
428
00:20:55,734 --> 00:20:59,033
Well, it would have been nice
having you as a stepmom.
429
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,167
All right,
I'll marry him.
430
00:21:00,234 --> 00:21:01,300
No!
431
00:21:11,968 --> 00:21:15,300
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you
432
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:20,033
* Keeps bringing me home
433
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,167
* It don't matter
what I wanna do
434
00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:28,133
* 'Cause it's got
a mind of its own
435
00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:33,968
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you *
436
00:21:34,018 --> 00:21:38,568
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