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1
00:00:03,667 --> 00:00:07,133
Hey, Yvonne, baby.
I know I haven't called you in a while, yeah.
2
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,167
Aww, I missed you, too.
3
00:00:10,234 --> 00:00:13,234
But you know how
crazy things get when you're at work. Yeah.
4
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,000
(CHUCKLES)
5
00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:18,534
Sure, yeah, uh,
it's Visa, 4-1-0-1...
6
00:00:19,534 --> 00:00:20,901
Hey, Dennis.
7
00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:24,834
Call you back.
Hey, what are you doing?
8
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:28,701
You know that
"Executive of the Year" banquet I went to last night?
9
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,501
Yeah.
Well, the guy they were honoring
10
00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:32,200
said the secret
to his success
11
00:00:32,267 --> 00:00:35,567
was not having
his own private office.
12
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:37,801
That's what shot me
to the top.
13
00:00:37,868 --> 00:00:40,901
I'm serious. This guy
increased productivity
14
00:00:40,968 --> 00:00:45,033
simply by moving
his desk out with all the other workers.
15
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,234
Plus, this way I can
catch the pervert
16
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:50,367
who's been making
sex calls on our company credit card.
17
00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:57,267
Between you and me,
I'd keep my eye on the big gal in shipping.
18
00:00:57,334 --> 00:01:01,200
Dad, I need to speak
to you about the Matt Bentley interview.
19
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:03,868
Oh, sure,
step into my office.
20
00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:14,300
Okay, I'm gonna need
about two extra pages.
21
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:15,434
Oh, yeah. Why is that?
22
00:01:15,501 --> 00:01:17,234
Oh, there's so
much to cover.
23
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,000
Former basketball player
turned senator.
24
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:23,701
Congressional Medal of Honor.
Plus, they say he might be running for President.
25
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,367
President, huh?
I can see that.
26
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:29,000
Bentley's sharp,
lots of integrity.
27
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:31,701
Of course, he played
for the Celtics, so I wish him dead.
28
00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:38,968
Oh, Dad, don't say that.
He's so compassionate and tall.
29
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:43,234
Maya, you don't have
a crush on this guy, Bentley, do you?
30
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:45,767
No, I just think
it would be great to work for someone
31
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,133
who's smart and
has good ideas, you know what I mean?
32
00:01:49,934 --> 00:01:52,400
I'm afraid I do.
33
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:56,133
Good news, everyone.
I just got off the phone with my old TV agent.
34
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,601
Let me guess.
He wants to book you on When Plastic Surgeons Attack.
35
00:02:03,267 --> 00:02:05,234
Hello, Finch.
Don't get up.
36
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,634
He wants me to audition
for a commercial.
37
00:02:09,701 --> 00:02:11,701
Oh, that's terrific.
Oh, that's great. What's it for?
38
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,167
Simple Time Stuffing.
39
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,767
The character is
a homemaker.
40
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:17,968
Oh, that's too bad.
I'm sorry. There'll be other ones.
41
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:20,267
Come on,
have a little faith in the girl.
42
00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:21,734
Nina can play that part.
43
00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:22,834
Well, thank you, Jack.
44
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:25,334
I totally buy you
as a home wrecker.
45
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:28,801
Homemaker.
46
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:30,634
Oh, you're no good for that.
47
00:02:52,334 --> 00:02:56,000
Hey, don't sound so surprised.
Of course profits are up.
48
00:02:56,067 --> 00:03:00,501
After all, we've got
the best damn staff on the planet!
49
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,567
Every once in a while
you gotta tell them things like that.
50
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,501
They're like children.
51
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:07,968
Talk to you later.
52
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:10,734
Hey, Jack, Allie called.
That thing at the grocery store is all taken care of.
53
00:03:10,801 --> 00:03:11,834
Oh, good.
54
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,400
What happened?
55
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:16,734
Yesterday, Hannah
stole a candy bar from a grocery store,
56
00:03:16,801 --> 00:03:20,000
so Allie took her back to
return it and apologize.
57
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,734
You know what?
It's just a phase.
58
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:24,033
When I was 12,
my dad caught me stealing,
59
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,467
grounded me for
the whole summer.
60
00:03:25,534 --> 00:03:26,767
What'd you steal?
61
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,667
$18,000 in deutsche marks.
62
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:33,367
Hacked into
Munich First National, moved some funds around.
63
00:03:33,434 --> 00:03:35,100
You know, kid stuff.
64
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,267
When I was a kid,
I stole a doll.
65
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:42,767
(CHUCKLES) I knew you
played with dolls. What was it? Barbie doll?
66
00:03:44,734 --> 00:03:46,400
It was a
Six Million Dollar Man.
67
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:49,167
Ooh, with the bionic grip?
68
00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:50,968
I crammed it in
my trumpet case.
69
00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:52,934
But when I got home,
I felt so guilty
70
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,901
I hid it in my basement.
71
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,801
I could never watch
the show after that.
72
00:03:56,868 --> 00:04:00,300
I stopped watching when
they gave bionics to the dog.
73
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:03,901
You spend six million bucks
on an animal, it should talk.
74
00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:12,167
So, was it seriously
the regular Steve Austin or the one with bionic grip?
75
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:16,434
The grip one, I guess.
I'm not sure. I was so ashamed,
76
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,100
I didn't even take it
out of the box.
77
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:19,701
(GASPS)
78
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,701
You still have it?
Unopened in the original box?
79
00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:25,434
Yeah, I suppose so.
80
00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:29,367
It's a mint condition,
vintage action figure.
81
00:04:29,434 --> 00:04:32,133
Do you ever stop to think
what a collector's item that is?
82
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,934
No, actually,
I was too busy dating women.
83
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:39,968
Hello, boys.
Who's hungry for a big bowl of stuffin'?
84
00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:43,634
Nina, there's nothing
in that bowl.
85
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,501
And by bowl,
he means head.
86
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:50,634
I have my audition in an
hour and I thought I should just stay in character.
87
00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:53,834
Listen.
"Simple Times Stuffin'.
88
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,968
"The easy way to
spice up your next lynchin'."
89
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,234
The word is "luncheon."
90
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:06,067
Oh! Oh, good. That
makes my character a lot more likeable.
91
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,868
Well, and if I ever
do run for President,
92
00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:14,701
I would want to give
tax credits to those single mothers,
93
00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:17,968
so that they could
get off of welfare and out into the work force.
94
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,701
Don't you think?
95
00:05:19,767 --> 00:05:21,501
Are you
seeing someone?
96
00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:23,167
What?
97
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:26,367
Uh, they just make me
ask these silly things.
98
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:29,534
(STAMMERING) Well, no.
Actually, I'm not.
99
00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:31,133
Glad we got that
out of the way.
100
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,601
(PHONE RINGS)
101
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,734
Maya Bentley.
Uh, Gallo.
102
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:38,567
I mean, I'm with
Senator Bentley and I'll call you back.
103
00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,167
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
104
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:44,200
Anyway, um...
Yes.
105
00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:46,501
The polls show that much of
your appeal is in the way
106
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,234
you come off as an actual
person and not a politician.
107
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:53,100
Well, I'm glad. People are
so turned off by politicians.
108
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:57,300
I think all the bickering
between the parties, the personal attacks...
109
00:05:57,367 --> 00:06:00,667
Yeah, I mean, who cares
if someone smoked a joint in college?
110
00:06:00,734 --> 00:06:05,968
Well, actually, I don't
think that drug use is anything to make light of.
111
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,000
Oh, of course not.
But there's a big difference
112
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,701
between hardcore drug use
and experimentation.
113
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,667
I mean,
in college even I once...
114
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:17,667
Maya, your future is nothing
to "experiment" with.
115
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:20,100
Well, I'm not sure
I even felt anything.
116
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,534
I mean, I didn't even want to.
My stupid roommate...
117
00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:24,634
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
118
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,133
Come in, please.
119
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,868
Maya, honey,
be a rosebush and whip up some copy for...
120
00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:33,834
Oh, excuse me.
You have a gentleman caller.
121
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:37,734
Matt Bentley.
122
00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:41,801
Oh, charmed.
Nina Van Horn. Of the Oaksville Van Horns.
123
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,667
So, what are we
talking about?
124
00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:45,834
The danger
of marijuana.
125
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:48,667
Oh, well, I may come
from simple times,
126
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:52,534
but I believe the
only thing you should smoke is a turkey,
127
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:56,133
preferably served with
a side dish of moist, fluffy stuffing.
128
00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,868
Nina,
now is not the time.
129
00:06:59,934 --> 00:07:03,400
You know, Maya,
you could learn something from her.
130
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:09,033
This is a woman who
gets high off a drug called America.
131
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:13,667
Well, I do like my reds,
whites and blues.
132
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,133
Watch your head.
133
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,734
What'd you say?
134
00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:32,400
Never mind.
135
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,734
Man, I can't
thank you enough.
136
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:34,834
(GASPS)
137
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:37,901
Look, look,
it's my old sled.
138
00:07:37,968 --> 00:07:39,701
I broke my leg
on this thing.
139
00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:40,801
(GASPS)
140
00:07:40,868 --> 00:07:42,334
Oh, and my ant farm.
141
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,067
Oh, look!
My first-grade class picture.
142
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,234
Guess which one was me.
143
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,501
God, didn't you
ever have hair?
144
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,767
Come on. We've got
to find this thing.
145
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:58,100
I got an hour, max,
before Jack kicks the boots in the bathroom stall
146
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,300
and realizes
I ain't in them.
147
00:08:01,601 --> 00:08:03,067
Jackpot!
148
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,400
Colonel Steve Austin!
149
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,200
No, my old Playboys.
150
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:10,033
Dude, how many times
I gotta tell you? We got to keep fo...
151
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:13,701
Well, well.
Mrs. Jimmy Connors, we meet again.
152
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,367
No! Let's keep going.
Where is it?
153
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:20,801
Don't worry.
I know where it is.
154
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,334
I hid it behind
this cinder block.
155
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,501
It's stuck.
We need a crowbar or something.
156
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:31,801
No time!
157
00:08:42,968 --> 00:08:44,367
Yes!
158
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,267
Oh.
159
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,100
It's beautiful.
160
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,067
Telephoto eye,
161
00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:01,167
flawless stitching
on the jogging suit.
162
00:09:01,234 --> 00:09:03,033
Have you ever seen
anything so magnificent?
163
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,634
Yeah, I guess.
164
00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:09,400
I haven't seen a
specimen this perfect since Sci-Fi Expo '87.
165
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:13,033
It's weird.
I feel kind of guilty.
166
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,234
Yeah, walk it off.
167
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:19,801
It's just that my mother
always said, "Bad things happen to people who steal."
168
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,534
Yeah, well,
my mom always said,
169
00:09:21,601 --> 00:09:24,133
"Finish college
or you'll wind up with a dead-end job."
170
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,968
(CHUCKLING) "Dead-end job."
171
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,434
Jack said I can
be his assistant forever!
172
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,467
Yeah, it was
a long time ago.
173
00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:35,701
I'm sure everything
will be all right.
174
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,934
Ow!
175
00:09:46,234 --> 00:09:48,267
Oh, my God,
this is whiskey!
176
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:50,601
Oh, my God,
this is coffee!
177
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:56,534
I gather your audition
didn't go too well.
178
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:58,400
To say the least.
179
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:03,567
The director said the kiss
I gave my 18-year-old son wasn't motherly enough.
180
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:07,567
And, by the way, if you don't
have any plans tonight, I'm going to a kegger.
181
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:10,667
Maya.
182
00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,133
Hi, what are you
doing here?
183
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,501
Did I leave my umbrella
in your office?
184
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,534
Oh, yeah. I left it
with the receptionist.
185
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:20,334
Hi, Jack Gallo.
I'm a big fan.
186
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,067
Oh. Well,
thank you.
187
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,334
Hey, could you
pass me the napkin?
188
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,834
Oh, that's right,
you don't pass.
189
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:32,934
You know, actually,
I led the league in assists for six seasons.
190
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,267
Oh.
191
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,267
Hey, could you
shoot me some butter?
192
00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:38,300
Oh, that's right...
Dad.
193
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,968
Sorry about that.
That's all right.
194
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,667
I get that from Knicks'
fans all the time.
195
00:10:44,734 --> 00:10:47,167
Although, it's usually
a little more clever.
196
00:10:48,701 --> 00:10:52,234
Listen, I didn't come here
just to pick up my umbrella.
197
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,634
You didn't? Then why
did you come up here?
198
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:58,601
Oh, what the fudge.
199
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:03,901
Ms. Van Horn, would you
allow me the privilege of taking you to dinner?
200
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:05,934
Really?
201
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,968
Yeah, I just felt that
we were on the same wavelength
202
00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:13,734
and, well, heck,
I've always been a sucker for a Southern belle.
203
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:20,968
Well, fluff me with a fork
and season me to taste. Yes.
204
00:11:21,567 --> 00:11:22,934
But...
205
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,234
Maya, now,
isn't it a little early to be drinking?
206
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,267
I pray for her
every day.
207
00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:42,567
Yeah, I took the
morning off and played 18 holes.
208
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:45,767
Sometimes you just
have to treat yourself.
209
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:50,067
Hey, Spancer, that's
your eighth soda. I'm not paying you to pee!
210
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:55,234
Thank you, Matthew,
for a most enjoyable lunch.
211
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,234
Oh, well, thank you
for a wonderful week.
212
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,801
So, I'll see you tonight?
213
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:02,067
Well, I must admit that
I'm a little nervous
214
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:04,601
about meeting
your political supporters.
215
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:08,067
I just hope that none of them
are those wild businessmen who come to New York
216
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:12,901
and drink late at bars and
sleep with those loose women in the fashion industry.
217
00:12:12,968 --> 00:12:16,200
Well, no.
None of them.
218
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,767
Then I'm in.
219
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:22,100
Here's the book I was
telling you about. You won't be able to put it down.
220
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:24,601
The characters
are so real.
221
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:27,234
And I gotta tell you.
I just love the heroine.
222
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,901
In 10 minutes
I was completely hooked.
223
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:33,868
Oh, hi.
224
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:36,467
Heroin, Maya?
What?
225
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:40,801
Nina wants to help you, Maya.
Let her.
226
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:44,033
Wait a minute.
What do you think of me? I'm like a Girl Scout.
227
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,801
Did you tell him
that I do drugs?
228
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:51,734
Well, not on purpose.
229
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:53,400
What does that mean?
230
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:55,968
Well, at dinner
I was telling this fascinating story
231
00:12:56,033 --> 00:12:57,834
about a customs check
in Thailand,
232
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,634
and then I realized
that it was about me.
233
00:12:59,701 --> 00:13:02,234
So, thinking quickly,
I made it about you.
234
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,100
You didn't.
235
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,467
Well, Maya, I panicked.
236
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,033
You know, and, well,
drug use aside,
237
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,467
there was no way
he was gonna date you.
238
00:13:09,534 --> 00:13:13,567
Why not?
Well, because of your drinking and bizarre sexual habits.
239
00:13:13,634 --> 00:13:17,167
What? I don't want
this man thinking I'm a crazy freak in bed.
240
00:13:17,234 --> 00:13:20,534
Well, then sleep with him.
That'll teach him a lesson.
241
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,934
Is that what you do all day?
242
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,801
Make wise-ass comments?
243
00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:28,033
No. I answer
the phone funny.
244
00:13:32,801 --> 00:13:33,934
Hey, where are you
going with that?
245
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,734
Back to the
toy store.
246
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:37,300
What are you
talking about?
247
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:41,300
In the past three days,
I bumped my head, I cut my finger,
248
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:45,200
I stubbed my toe and
I ate the plastic around a piece of cheese.
249
00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:46,534
Call it guilt.
250
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,767
Call it bad karma.
Call it whatever you want!
251
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:50,634
I'm taking this
back to the store.
252
00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:52,267
Come on. Do you
know how much that thing is worth?
253
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:53,467
I don't care.
254
00:13:53,534 --> 00:13:54,767
Why are you gonna
take it back to the store?
255
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,133
What are they gonna
do with it anyway?
256
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,901
All they care about
are those stupid Spice Girls dolls,
257
00:13:57,968 --> 00:14:00,667
which you can't
even run a comb through.
258
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:02,067
Come on!
No.
259
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,300
Come on.
No.
260
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:04,367
Come on?
No.
261
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,634
NINA: Anybody home?
Fiddle-dee-dee?
262
00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:13,234
In the kitchen.
263
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:18,934
Theresa, no te preocupes.
Bueno.
264
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,567
Sorry I'm late,
cotton ball.
265
00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:24,534
But you know how
that pastor tends to go on and on.
266
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,834
What's wrong,
sugarplum?
267
00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:28,400
Tonight's a
complete disaster.
268
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,567
I just had to let
my housekeeper go.
269
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:32,868
Darn it to heck!
270
00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:37,300
One of the most
important dinners of my career and...
271
00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:40,300
Hey, didn't you say
you were a gourmet cook?
272
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:43,467
I may have.
I say a lot of things.
273
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,767
Oh, Nina.
Nina, you have to help. Now, I wouldn't ask,
274
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:50,567
but, gall darn it,
I'm in a pickle.
275
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:53,100
I can relate.
276
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:56,300
Oh, thank you.
You are saving my political fanny.
277
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:58,834
Okay,
where do we start?
278
00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:01,767
Oh, I don't know.
Where do you think we start?
279
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,300
Preheat the oven?
280
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:04,868
Right you are!
281
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,801
That's the dishwasher.
282
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,400
Well, of course it is,
silly.
283
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:15,267
That's just my way of saying,
"Now stay out of my kitchen."
284
00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:17,534
And you're sure you
don't want me here?
285
00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:20,701
Oh, I've never been so sure
of anything in my life.
286
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:27,601
Okay, no problem.
I can do this.
287
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,133
Well, I'm stumped.
288
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,868
(PHONE RINGING)
289
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,133
Hello.
290
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,834
NINA: Maya, thank God
you're there. I really need your help.
291
00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:55,300
Matthew has asked me to
prepare a gourmet meal and I have no idea what I'm doing.
292
00:15:55,367 --> 00:16:01,267
Well, I'd love to help you,
but the only thing I know how to cook is crack on a spoon.
293
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:05,133
Maya, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have told him those things. I'm sorry.
294
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,734
What were you thinking?
What are you trying to pull off here?
295
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:12,267
Well, I don't know.
I just really like this guy.
296
00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:14,067
But he's not at all your type.
297
00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:17,434
I know. He's so old-fashioned.
298
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:20,267
He hasn't even tried
to kiss me yet.
299
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:22,334
Oh, come on, Maya.
Just this once.
300
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,767
Just for tonight.
I know you think this whole thing is crazy,
301
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:26,400
but just help me
make this work.
302
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,801
I don't know. Why should I?
303
00:16:29,868 --> 00:16:32,801
Well, can't you just do it
because I'm so pathetic?
304
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:35,567
Okay.
305
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:38,734
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
306
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,467
Okay, what have
we got to work with?
307
00:16:40,534 --> 00:16:44,300
Okay.
Well, there's some chicken, a bunch of vegetables,
308
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:47,667
a lemon, some rice
and lettuce in a big ball.
309
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:52,968
Okay, Nina, first,
chop the vegetables.
310
00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:55,801
Okay, hang on.
I'm gonna do this.
311
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,234
Are you still there?
312
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,400
Don't worry, Nina.
I'm not going anywhere.
313
00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,934
I'll stay with you
till the end.
314
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,234
Okay, Maya, what's next?
315
00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:14,534
Maya?
Damn it, Maya, talk to me.
316
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,901
Oh, God, I'm all alone!
317
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,667
Nina, is everything...
318
00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:30,234
Are you smoking?
319
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,200
See, Matty, it's like this.
320
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:37,267
I don't know how to cook.
I'm not Southern.
321
00:17:37,334 --> 00:17:39,100
I don't go to church.
I've never voted.
322
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,334
I drink like a sailor, often
in the company of sailors,
323
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,968
and I was peripherally
involved in the abduction of Patty Hearst.
324
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:50,501
I don't know what to say.
325
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:52,567
You've never voted once?
326
00:17:53,701 --> 00:17:55,367
Look, I'm sorry I lied.
327
00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:58,601
It's just that I figured
it was the only way I...
328
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:02,534
Oh, never mind.
329
00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:05,501
Look, I'll just
get out of your hair.
330
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,000
Goodbye, Matthew.
331
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,501
Nina.
332
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:16,667
Yeah.
333
00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:20,434
I want to be bad.
334
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,300
Come on.
No.
335
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:36,534
Come on.
No.
336
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:37,701
Come on.
No.
337
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,534
Come on.
No.
338
00:18:39,601 --> 00:18:42,200
No. I'm gonna
teach you a lesson in humanity,
339
00:18:42,267 --> 00:18:44,567
what it's like
to do a good deed.
340
00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:46,367
Hey, there,
little fellas.
341
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:48,234
Hey, Mr. Leitner.
342
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:51,367
You probably don't
remember, but I used to come in here as a kid.
343
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,167
Well, then I bet
you'll remember these.
344
00:18:56,834 --> 00:19:00,334
Oh, great, green.
345
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,467
Actually, there's something
I want to give you.
346
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,701
You see, when I was a kid,
I stopped in here for some baseball cards on my way home
347
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:08,267
from a music recital
and I...
348
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:12,734
Well, when you weren't
looking, I stuffed this in my trumpet case.
349
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,400
Pretty silly, huh?
350
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,901
Oh, kids do dumb things.
351
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,767
One moment, please.
352
00:19:20,968 --> 00:19:23,767
Wow, see?
I feel better already.
353
00:19:25,767 --> 00:19:27,100
Hey, what was
that button for?
354
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,234
Oh, that summons
the police.
355
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:31,501
How's the
lollipop?
356
00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:35,567
No, but you don't...
You don't understand. I'm returning this.
357
00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,901
Someone has to
teach you a lesson,
358
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,734
and I know just the
dirty cop to do it.
359
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:44,567
But I'm doing the right thing.
360
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:48,300
When you get to prison,
be sure to knife the first guy you see.
361
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:52,367
Now, you'll spend
two months in the hole, but they'll respect you.
362
00:19:54,868 --> 00:19:56,534
What's happening?
363
00:19:56,601 --> 00:19:59,701
That's what you're going
to say when they corner you in the laundry.
364
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,367
No, but you don't
understand. I...
365
00:20:03,434 --> 00:20:04,968
(SIREN WAILING)
366
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:28,801
How much you want
for the doll?
367
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:32,734
It says here, $6.95.
368
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:34,567
I'll give you two bucks
and a green lollipop.
369
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:35,767
Done.
370
00:20:45,501 --> 00:20:47,200
That was incredible.
371
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:51,767
You know that last part is
illegal in some states.
372
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,534
Maybe I can change that.
373
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,400
Oh, you'd have my vote.
374
00:20:57,834 --> 00:21:00,267
I think you're gonna
be good for me, Nina.
375
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:03,033
I think maybe I need
to loosen up a little.
376
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,834
Aw, that's so sweet
of you to say,
377
00:21:04,901 --> 00:21:08,601
but aren't you afraid
that I'll hurt your political future?
378
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:12,400
Heck, no.
Gosh darn it, hell, no.
379
00:21:12,467 --> 00:21:18,000
I refuse to believe that
following my heart could ever lead to my downfall.
380
00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:20,601
Senator Bentley?
The door...
381
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:22,133
Good heavens, man.
382
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,033
Uh, Judge,
383
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,200
may I present
Ms. Nina Van Horn?
384
00:21:27,267 --> 00:21:29,801
Oh, that's not necessary.
Hi, Tom.
385
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:47,200
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you
386
00:21:47,267 --> 00:21:50,901
* Keeps bringing me home
387
00:21:50,968 --> 00:21:55,801
* It don't matter
what I wanna do
388
00:21:55,868 --> 00:21:59,300
* 'Cause it's got
a mind of its own
389
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:05,300
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you *
390
00:22:05,350 --> 00:22:09,900
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