All language subtitles for John from Cincinnati s01e10_English

( theme music playing )

( seagulls cawing )

HEY, MOREASS!
MY TOE!

OWW!
YEAH, YOU HARD-ON!

( rock music playing )

HAVEN'T I TOLD
YOU NOT TO LEAVE YOUR
FUCKING MACHINE ON

TO SPEW INCOMPREHENSIBILITIES
AT PASSERSBY LIKE A ROADSIDE
FUCKING BOMB?

I TURNED IT OFF
LAST NIGHT.

DID YOU
TURN IT OFF TWICE,

WHICH WOULD BE BACK ON?
BECAUSE IT IS.

DID YOU TOUCH THE KEYBOARD
OR ANYTHING...?

UH-HUH, WHILE I RAN
MY TONGUE IN AND OUT
OF THE LITTLE SOCKETS

ON THE BACK
OF THE FUCKING BOX.

THAT'S BUTCHIE'S MOTEL.

SHARP AS A TACK, YOU.

HOLY SHIT.

COME ON, WE GOT TO
CHANGE YOU OUT OF YOUR
FUCKING FATIGUES...

OR WHATEVER
THOSE THINGS ARE.

HEY, YOU WAIT HERE,
JOHN.

- IS SHAUN ALL RIGHT?
- SHAUN'S ALL RIGHT.

HERE, THESE WON'T FIT YOU
AND THEY'RE DIRTY, BUT...

( clears throat )

...PUT THESE ON.

WHERE WERE YOU COMING FROM
OFF THE WATER?

CINCINNATI.

YOU'RE UP, BUDDY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, JOHN.
GO WITH BUTCHIE.

TAKE THAT WETSUIT OFF

AND PUT THESE ON.

NAH, WAIT WAIT WAIT
WAIT WAIT.

SHAUNIE, YOU READY?

COME HERE.
GET IN THERE.

FINE,
HURRY UP, MAN.

HEY, CHICK.

IT'S CASS, KAI.

THEY'RE ALL RIGHT.
THEY'RE BACK.

GOOD, GOOD.

THANKS FOR TAKING CARE
OF HIM ALL THIS TIME.

I GOTTA COOK.

I'M HERE
WITH THE MOTHER.

I'M HERE ON SPEC.

HI, MOM.

- ARE YOU OKAY?
- I'M FINE.

I GOT TO TAKE
YOU TO YOUR GRAM'S
AND GRAMPS', SHAUNIE.

I WANNA STAY
WITH JOHN.

YEAH WELL, I WANT
A SEAL THAT BARKS
MY NAME.

YOU COMING?

Butchie:
YOU STAY HERE, JOHN.

- I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
- THANKS.

Shaun:
I'LL COME BACK
SOON, JOHN.

YEAH, LET YOURSELF IN.

LET'S SIT DOWN, JOHN.

( engine starts )

SHAUNIE!
SHAUNIE!

Butchie:
HE CAME IN ON THE WATER,
HIM AND JOHN.

SHAUNIE'S NOT SURE
FROM WHERE.

LINC'S TALKING TO JOHN
TO FIND OUT WHAT WENT ON.

- LINC IS?
- HEY, FREDDY GOT SQUAT
WHEN HE TRIED.

- MAYBE SLICK WILL WORK.
- HE'S PROBABLY GONNA
SIGN HIM TO A DEAL.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN,
GRAMPS?

- HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH?
- HEY, WHAT THE HELL
DID SHE DO, MA?

HOW MUCH TIME
HAVE YOU GOT?

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, SHAUNIE.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

- THANKS, MOM.
- COME ON, I'LL DROP YOU OFF.

CAN YOU MAKE ME
A PEANUT BUTTER-BUTTER
SANDWICH?

NOT TUNA?

SO...

I'M THE GUY THAT
EVERY TIME YOU SEE,
YOU TELL THE END IS NEAR.

YOU'RE LINC STARK.

YOU SHOULD GET
IN THE GAME.

LIKE MITCH YOST?

MITCH YOST SHOULD
GET BACK IN THE GAME.

SO I'VE NEVER
BEEN IN THE GAME?

IF MY WORDS ARE YOURS,

CAN YOU HEAR MY FATHER?

LET'S SAY I CAN.

LET'S SAY THE ZEROS
AND ONES IN CASS'S CAMERA

HELP YOU HEAR
MY FATHER'S WORD.

CASS AND I GO BACK.

LET'S SAY YOU
AND CASS GO BACK,
LINC STARK.

LET'S SAY
IN MY FATHER'S WORD,

IN CASS'S CAMERA,
THE INTERNET IS BIG.

9/11 IS BIG.

BUT NOT EVERY TOWELHEAD
IS ERADICATED.

LET'S SAY I DON'T FOLLOW.

LET'S SAY
WITHOUT CASS'S CAMERA,

"BIG" AND "HUGE"
WON'T MEAN DICK.

GETTING DUSTED
WON'T BE AN ISSUE.

( exhales )

THIS IS ME GRABBING MY BALLS
AND JUMPING HERE, JOHN.

GRAB YOUR
JUMP-BALLS, LINC.

YOU USE MY WORDS,

AND WHEN YOU SPEAK THEM,

IF I LISTEN RIGHT,
I CAN HEAR YOUR FATHER?

YES, LINC.

IF YOU ARE THE END,
I AM NEAR YOU.

YES, LINC.

WITHOUT CASS'S CAMERA,

WHATEVER THE FUCK
THAT IS,

WE'RE ALL TOAST?

YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE TOAST.
WE'RE COMING 9/11/14.

FUCK ME, JOHN.

FUCK YOU, LINC.

IS THERE ANY SPECIAL
PURPOSE TO US

BURNING OUR ASS-CHEEKS OFF
ON THIS ASPHALT?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUTCHIE, INSTEAD.

IS MY ORDER READY?

NOT TODAY.

I ORDER SMOOTHIES FOR ME
AND THE DOGS EVERY DAY.

AND EVERY OTHER DAY
THEY'RE READY AND TODAY
THEY AREN'T.

SO EITHER PISS OFF
OR GO BEHIND THE COUNTER
AND MAKE THEM YOURSELF.

TECHNICALLY,

THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN BE
SEEING WHAT WE'RE SEEING.

HEY, BACK OFF
A SEC, WILL YOU?

DON'T LEAVE TOWN.

I'M STAYING,
AND I'M TRYING NOT TO GIVE
CISSY A HEART ATTACK.

I'M ALL OVER IT,
YOU KNOW--

WHAT SHAUNIE WAS
UP TO WITH JOHN.

JOHN'S NOT AN ASSHOLE OR HE'D
KNOW HOW TO TAKE A DUMP.

( paper rustling )

GIVE THE GUY A TIP.

Linc:
DOES YOUR FATHER
HAVE A FATHER, JOHN?

MY FATHER HAS A FATHER.

WHAT'S YOUR FATHER'S
FATHER'S NAME?

"FATHER."

LIKE GEORGE FOREMAN
AND HIS KIDS.

LIKE GEORGE FOREMAN?

DO YOU KNOW
YOUR FATHER'S FATHER?

I KNOW MY FATHER'S
FATHER'S WORDS.

WHAT ARE HIS WORDS?

"LISTEN
TO YOUR FATHER."

THAT'S WHAT YOUR FATHER'S
FATHER SAYS TO YOU?

THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER'S
FATHER SAYS TO MY FATHER.

YOU DON'T TALK,
YOU AND YOUR FATHER'S FATHER?

WE DON'T TALK.

BUT HE'S ALIVE,
YOUR FATHER'S FATHER?

I LISTEN
TO MY FATHER'S WORDS.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING
RIGHT FROM LEFT FUCKING FIELD,
JOHN.

- RIGHT FROM LEFT.
- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I MEAN, TELL ME
WHAT TO DO, MY BROTHER.

JUST SPIT IT RIGHT
THE FUCK OUT.

FIVE WORDS, MAXIMUM,
RIGHT NOW-- POW BOOM!

MAXIMUM, RIGHT NOW,
POW BOOM!

- GIVE ME A POUND.
- NO, YOU GIVE ME A POUND.

Cissy:
YOU GOT SOME
"GOOD ONES"?

"THEY" WANT TO SPONSOR YOU?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, SHAUNIE?

YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S RIGHT.
WE DESERVE TO KNOW.

I'D LIKE TO MOVE IN
WITH JOHN AND DAD.

IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO GO.

WHAT ARE
YOU SAYING?

YOU DON'T LOVE US?

WE DID A HORRIBLE JOB?
WHAT?

YOU KNOW I HAVE THAT PACK
WITH THE LINER FOR WETSUITS,
OUT BACK.

THAT'S OKAY, GRAMPS.
I'M GOOD.

- HEY.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, I-- YOU KNOW,
MAYBE IT IS TIME.

YOU'RE SENDING SHAUNIE
TO LIVE WITH BUTCHIE AND THAT
ASSHOLE THAT RAN OFF WITH HIM?

HOW CAN YOU BE
THAT FUCKING THICK?

HE SHOULD BE HERE,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE,
WHERE WE CAN WATCH HIM.

HE WAS HERE, CISSY.
HE WAS HERE,

YOU WERE HERE.
YOU HAD BILL AND FREDDY
OUT FRONT.

I LOVE YOU, GRAMPS.
I LOVE YOU, GRAM.

I'M GONNA HOP
OVER THE FENCE.

( door shuts )

GET BACK DOWN HERE.

COULD YOU TURN OFF
THE FAN?

Linc:
HOW'S SHAUN, BUTCHIE?

MY MOM AND DAD ARE
PISSING IN HIS EAR.

- Linc: DO YOU
HAVE A MOTHER, JOHN?
- MY MOTHER IS MY FATHER.

MY MOTHER'S A CUNT
WITH EARFLAPS.

YOUR MOTHER HAS TURNED HERSELF
INTO THE WORST BALL-BUSTER
KNOWN TO MAN

SO NO ONE WOULD BE
AROUND HER,

AND SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE
AFRAID SHE'D DO SOMETHING
LIKE THAT AGAIN.

THAT'S HOW ASHAMED
OF HERSELF SHE WAS.

MITCH WIPES OUT.
MITCH WIPES OUT CISSY.

- CISSY SHOWS
BUTCHIE HOW TO DO THAT.
- WHAT THE FUCK, JOHN.

BUTCHIE HURTS BARRY'S HEAD.

MR. ROLLINS COMES
IN BARRY'S FACE.

WE ARE ALL
FRAIL VESSELS.

JOHN IS GOING ALL
"PSYCHIC HOTLINE"
ON US, HUH?

CAN I CRASH WITH YOU
AND JOHN, DAD?

YOU CAN CRASH WITH ME.
HE KEEPS RUNNING
HIS MOUTH,

JOHN MAY BE
HOSPITALIZED BY THEN.

WHAT'S UP WITH
THE FLAK SUITS, MY BROTHER?

THAT'S WHAT THEY
CAME BACK WEARING.

SHOWIN' UP
IN CAMOUFLAGE?

JOHN SPOUTING,
"THE END IS NEAR.
9/11 IS BIG,"

LIABLE TO PUSH
SOME PEOPLE'S BUTTONS,
SHAUNIE.

- THEY WANT TO SPONSOR US.
- WHO WANTS TO SPONSOR YOU?

WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON, JOHN?
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS GO?

HEY HEY HEY, TALK TO SHAUNIE.
I'LL TALK TO JOHN.

- SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING PLAN.
- BUTCHIE HURT MY TIT.

HERE, COME HERE.

( coughs )

IT'S YOURS.
PICKED IT UP BY ACCIDENT.

IF IT HAD RANG,
WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED
ME TO ANSWER IT?

NO.

IT RANG,
I ANSWERED.

MOANA'S COMING,
LANDED IN SAN DIEGO.

SHOULD I GET THE TOOLS
FROM THE TRUNK?

HE CALLED AHEAD.

TRUE.

SHOULD I BE STRAPPED
ON MY PERSON, IN MY ROOM?

ON THE EAR, I CAN RECOGNIZE
THE DRIFT OF THINGS.

LET IT PLAY OUT.

DIDN'T THEY USED TO HAVE
BIBLES IN THESE PLACES?

YEAH, GIDEONS--
BIG DISTRIBUTOR.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, SHAUNIE?
THIS SHIT'S FREAKING ME OUT.

- YOU DISAPPEARED
WITH YOUR MOM--
- WE WENT TO SEAWORLD.

I KNOW
YOU WENT TO SEAWORLD
AND MOM BROUGHT YOU BACK.

BUT JOHN TOLD SOME PEOPLE
THAT YOU WERE GONNA BE GONE.

AND BEFORE YOU CAME BACK,
EVERYBODY WAS ALREADY
FREAKED OUT.

AND THEN YOUR MOM
BROUGHT YOU BACK,
AND THE NEXT MORNING,

- YOU'RE FUCKING GONE AGAIN.
- I WAS WITH JOHN.

IT'S WHERE YOU WENT
WITH JOHN, SHAUNIE,

THAT'S GOT EVERYBODY'S
SHORTS IN A BUNCH.

I DON'T KNOW.

SO THAT HAS EVERYONE WORRIED
THAT HE HALF HYPNOTIZED YOU
OR SOME FUCKING THING.

- THEY HAD SOME
PRETTY FUN ONES.
- YOU REMEMBER THAT?

SORT OF.

YOU REMEMBER
THEY WANT TO SPONSOR YOU?

I SORT OF REMEMBER.

WHAT DOES "SORT OF"
MEAN, SHAUNIE?

I REMEMBER
TO SAY IT.

THE WAVES WERE GOOD.

WERE THE WAVES ON WATER?

- I DON'T KNOW.
- JESUS CHRIST!

WHAT DID THEY
DO TO YOU, SHAUNIE?
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?

CINCINNATI.

CINCINNATI IS THAT WAY.
THE SKY'S UP THERE.

WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND,
THE FUCKING CHEMIST?

AT THE ALTERNATIVE
APOTHECARY.

- WHO ARE YOU CALLING?
- BILL JACKS.

YOU NEED TO BE WATCHED, MITCH--
YOU ALWAYS NEEDED THAT.

- BILL JACKS, CAN I HELP YOU?
- Cissy: Great news, Bill.

SHAUNIE'S HOME.

CAN YOU COME OVER?

THANKS A LOT.

- WELL, WHERE ARE
YOU GOING?
- ERRANDS.

Linc:
LET'S SAY YOU'RE NOT
FROM AROUND HERE, JOHN.

LET'S SAY I'M NOT, LINC.

CHOCOLATE, VANILLA--
EVERYONE'S FROM SOMEWHERE,
SO YOU'RE NOT FROM HERE.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
FINDING OUT YOU'RE
NOT FROM HERE

IS A BIT OF A NUT-NUDGE
FOR US EARTHLINGS.

I CAN'T IMAGINE YOUR
OLD MAN WOULDN'T KNOW THAT.

I CAN'T IMAGINE MY OLD MAN
WOULDN'T KNOW THAT.

THAT'S YOUR FATHER'S POINT--
WITH THE CAMO AND STUFF?

- SCARE OUR BALLS OFF?
- YOU HEAR MY FATHER'S WORDS.

John:
YOU HEAR THEM BETTER
IN CASS'S CAMERA.

WHO'S SUPPOSED
TO SEE THIS, JOHN?

YOU HEAR MY FATHER'S
WORDS, LINC.

ME.

( tires squeal )

YOUR FUCKIN' FATHER'S
ON THE FUCKIN' CEILING.

FINE.
COME HERE, SHAUNIE.

SOMETHING'S FUCKED
AT THE HOUSE.
I'LL CHECK IN.

- ( engine starts )
- Butchie: HERE, HOOK UP.

MEET THE JETSONS.

Linc:
I WANNA GIVE YOU
AN ADDRESS.

YOU MEET ME HERE
AND BRING THE TAILOR.

WHY DON'T WE JUST
PULL YOU DOWN, DAD?

NO.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
IF THE CEILING KEEPS YOU
FROM FLYING OFF OR WE DO?

LOOK, I WANT AS LITTLE
COMPLICATION AS POSSIBLE.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT
THIS IS ABOUT.

WHAT ABOUT
THE COMPLICATIONS
FOR US, MITCH,

WORRYIN' YOU'LL PISS
ON OUR HEADS EVERY TIME
WE WALK UNDER YOU?

YOU COULD TELL ME ABOUT
WHERE YOU WENT, GRAMPS.

WELL, I CAN--
I CAN DO THAT FROM HERE.

OH YEAH? THEN WHY
AREN'T YOU, DAD?

JUST GET OUT, GET OUT.
DON'T LOOK.

JUST...

( sobs )

GOIN' TO THE RESTROOM.

Linc:
MEN, THERE'S A PARADE
THIS AFTERNOON

DOWN AT THE PIER
FOR SHAUN AND JOHN,
3:30, 4:00.

DON'T BE NO-SHOWS.
YOU'RE IN IT.

OUR OWN CELEBRATORY
BARBECUE, RAMON,

IS THUS SOMEWHAT
IMPINGED UPON.

YOU GUYS,
YOU'RE THE ISLAND
CONTINGENT!

WE COULD TAKE
THIS STUFF TO WHEREVER
THE PARADE'S AT.

NO WAY TO PAINT THIS PATTERN
ON MORE WETSUITS.

IN THE TWO HOURS, YOU MEAN,
BEFORE WE PUT THE PLAY ON
IN THE BARN?

- THE LOGO I COULD DO.
- BARBECUE'S BEEN 86'd,
DICKSTEIN.

THE SURF GUY IS
HAVING A PARADE DOWN
BY THE PIER, 3:30.

ALL RIGHT, LINC,
SO AS HIS PERSONAL
MANAGER NOW,

WITH SHAUN
BACK FROM THE DEAD
AND OUTER SPACE TOO--

AND ASSUMING
HE'S SIGNED YOU TOO?

I ASSUMED YOU'VE SIGNED
MING OF MARS?

YOUR IDEA FOR THE SKIT
IN THE BARN IS LIKE,

"STINKWEED,
IT'S FACE ON ALL THIS--"

"A MIRACLE-- HALF OUR BASE
RUNS THE OTHER WAY.

DO WE MAKE THAT UP
SELLING AT SHRINES?"

SO YOU TELL HIM SOMETHING
THAT I SAID TO YOU

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO THINK,
LIKE, "WHOA, HE JUST
CAME UP WITH THAT."

THEN I'M SUPPOSED
TO WET MY PANTS AND OKAY
THE STREET FAIR?

"IF I GET YOU TO TIJUANA,
THE KID CAN HEAR OUR
CONFESSION."

SOMETHING I DIDN'T
SAY TO HIM.

John:
"DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE
YOU ANOTHER CHECK?"

Jake:
SOMETHING I DIDN'T SAY TO HER

THAT HE COULD HAVE HEARD
ON HER TAPE RECORDER.

John:
"WHAT ROOM IS SHE IN?"

DO THE T-SHIRTS.

STINKWEED LOGOS
ON THE WETSUITS.

WE NEED AN EL CAMINO.

- WHOSE LOGO IS THIS?
- "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKIN'
BUSINESS INCORPORATED."

I WANT TO SEE THAT LOGO
EVERYWHERE WE SET UP.

( sighs )
IN TWO HOURS?

AMAZING HE CAN
DO DESIGN WORK
WHILE UP ON A CROSS.

WHOEVER JOHN IS
FRONTING FOR,

HE CALLS HIM
HIS FATHER.

I'M GUESSING
IF HIS FATHER WANTED,

WE'D ALL BE GOOD
AND FUCKED BY NOW.

SO YOU GUESS HIS OLD MAN'S
GOT PLANS FOR THE YOSTS?

HE TALKED TO ME
BEFORE HE TALKED TO MITCH.

SO HIS FATHER'S GOT
PLANS FOR YOU TOO?

I'M A SALESMAN.
I'M GUESSING HE WANTS ME
TO SELL THE FAMILY.

THROUGH STINKWEED?

ISN'T THAT HOW
WE BUILT THE BRAND,

SEEING THE WINNERS
EARLY?

- MAY I TELL YOU SOMETHING
ABOUT MY BEARS?
- ABSOLUTELY.

THEY WERE WHAT MY EYES
OPENED TO THIS MORNING,

THERE ON THE FLOOR BESIDE
MY MATTRESS IN MY OTHERWISE
UNAPPOINTED BEDROOM.

NICE.

THEY WERE JUST AS
I HAD SITUATED THEM

BEFORE I LAID
MY HEAD TO PILLOW.

NOTHING UNTOWARD HAD
TRANSPIRED IN THE DARKNESS.

"MY GOD," I THOUGHT,

"THEY'RE JUST TWO BEARS
DOING WHAT BEARS DO."

I DIDN'T SEE FREDDY'S TEDDY
AND WONDER HOW HARD

HE MAY HAVE VIOLATED
MY TEDDY THE NIGHT BEFORE,

OR HOW MANY TIMES HE MAY
HAVE CALLED TEDDY "FAGGOT,"

OR "COCKSUCKER,"
OR "SISSY MARY."

I CHOSE TO BELIEVE
THEY PLAYED NICELY.

- LIVE AND LEARN.
- AND I CHOOSE TO DO SO
STILL,

EVEN IN THEIR PROXIMITY
TO THE FLAME.

I'M STANDING SO THEY
DON'T GET SPARKED ON.

TELL THE QUEER I DON'T LIKE
THOSE BEARS SITTING TOGETHER.

THAT'S YOUR OPENER.
THEN ASK IF HIM AND THE BEANER

ARE WEARING THEM CLOTHES
TO THE PARADE.

GO, GO AHEAD.

HEY.

BLAH BLAH BLAH,
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH--
WE'RE TALKING, WE'RE TALKING.

YOU'RE LISTENING,
NOW YOU'RE LISTENING.
LOOK AT THE BEARS FOR A SECOND.

LOOK AT THE BEAR, UH-HUH.
THAT'S GOOD.

HEY, YOU'RE WEARING THEM
CLOTHES TO THE PARADE?

- I THOUGHT I WOULD.
- FINE.

AREN'T THESE
PARADE-APPROPRIATE?

DICKSTEIN HAD
A LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE,
WHY HE'S BEEN OUT OF TOUCH.

HE'S WEARING THOSE.

( grumbles )

- WE ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT DID HE SAY
ABOUT THE BEARS?

UH, SEGREGATED WHENEVER
THEY'RE INDOORS.

CHERRY OLDIES,
8th AND PALM.

- CHERRY OLDIES,
8th AND PALM, WHAT?
- HAS AN EL CAMINO.

THEN WE BETTER GO
CHECK THE FUCKER OUT.

WHOA WHOA WHOA
WHOA WHOA-- OVER THERE.
OVER THERE, HUH?

MISS, MISS, I TOLD YOU
ONCE ABOUT THE KODAK.

FUCKIN' PLEASE, HUH?
NOT AT US.

( mocks )
STARE ME DOWN.
STARE ME DOWN!

YOU WANT A PICTURE?
YOU WANT A PICTURE?

TAKE A FUCKIN' PICTURE--
OF ME, NOT HIM.

I'M TAKING A PICTURE
OF THE ENTIRE SCENE,
MY BROTHER.

ALL THE ZEROS
AND ONES, HUH?

THAT'S HOW I WORK.

FUCKIN' BALL-BUSTER.

CAN WE PLEASE
GET READY FOR MOANA?

KINDA CUTE.

SHE JUST
CALLED YOU A ZERO.

Salesman:
I FEEL THAT YOU BOYS
ARE READY FOR THIS CAMINO.

FUCKIN' LUG NUTS
ON A T-BIRD.

BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
WE OWN MORE CARS THAN YOU
HAVE ON THIS LOT.

MY GUESS IS YOUR FEELING
IS PROBABLY RIGHT.

THAT'S NOT WHAT
I MEAN BY "READY"--

NUMBER OF VEHICLES OWNED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, POPS?

WE GOTS TO BOOGIE.

OH, SO I HAVE TO KNOW
WHAT I MEAN BEFORE I
CAN HAVE A FEELING?

DO I HAVE TO KNOW THAT
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND ME?

DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
BEFORE YOU LISTEN?

25 CARS BETWEEN YOU?

YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME
SIT DOWN BEFORE YOU TOLD ME.

I'VE GOT THAT MANY
DEALERSHIPS IN EACH
OF THAT MANY SECTORS

AND BRANDS ON
GODDAMN FRANCHISE.

I GOTTA BOOGIE!
ME!

HE FEELS YOU'RE READY
FOR THE CAMINO.

- YOU'RE OFF-LINE NOW, COUNTRY.
- I DON'T KNOW, BUTCHIE,
INSTEAD.

HOW'S HE FOR
HIGH PERFORMANCE?

AND HE AIN'T WHO'S
WORST UNDERPOWERED.

INTRUSIONS,
EVANESCENCES...

I'M A SHEPHERD,
WITHOUT CROOK OR UNDERSTANDING!

FITS AND STOPS AND STARTS,
WAVES AND RIPPLES

AND RAMIFICATIONS!
BUSTED KNEE,

MOTHER-SON HANDJOBS.

CHRIST, JESUS CHRIST,
JESUS CHRIST!

CROSSES...
AND SHOULDERS
TO BEAR 'EM.

EL CAMINO!
$15,000 AS IS.

- Linc: IS IT GASSED?
- FUCKING-A RIGHT,
IT'S GASSED, LINC.

YOU AND YOUR 25 CARS.

CIRCLE AND LINE
ON THE WALL,

AND ZEROS
AND GODDAMN ONES

IS WHAT TO TURN
THE BOTH OF YOUR GIFTS TO--

AND NOT ONE DAMN
MINUTE TO WASTE.

RAGHEADS ARE GONNA GET
THEMSELVES ERADICATED.

COUNTRY,
I TOOK YOU OFF-LINE.

MANUEL!

GET A CAGE
ON THIS THING.

- Freddy: HOW WAS THE FLIGHT?
- IT WAS GOOD, YOU KNOW, FAIR.

GOT SICK?

SHMALL KINE,
NOT REALLY.

WHAT THEN?

TERRIBLE FUCKIN' HURRICANE,
TSUNAMI?

WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
WHERE?

FIVE DAYS
SINCE WE SPOKE,

MAYBE THEY HAD THEM
AT THE AIRPORT.

CLEAR SKIES, BRAH.

MAYBE YOU SPENT THEM
TURNIN' OVER AND OVER,

"WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT,
THIS HAOLE FUCK,

PRETENDING TO GIVE ME
SOMETHING?"

MAYBE YOU SPENT THEM...

"HE MUST HAVE GOT OLD
FUCKIN' FAST OVER THERE,

THINKS HE'S GONNA
MOVE ON ME,

CONFUSING ME
FOR SOME OTHER KANAKA.

MAYBE HANDLE HIS SHIT FOR HIM
BEFORE HE HANDLES MINE
FOR ME."

YOU KNOW I GOT
TO THINK ABOUT THAT.

BUT YOU DIDN'T
COME IN HERE BLAZING...

COME ON, FREDDY,
YOU RAISED ME UP.

...SO I KNOW
YOU DIDN'T TRAVEL ALONE.

YOU COCKSUCKERS ALWAYS NEED
SOMEONE TO WORK FOR.

TELL THE CHINAMAN,
"FREDDY'S GOT 17
SAFE DEPOSITS."

TELL HIM, "HE'LL TAKE
A TASTE FOR THREE YEARS

BUT ALL HE WANTS IS OUT."

BUT-- BEFORE YOU
TALK TO HIM,

IF YOU EAT SOMETHING
STRANGE THAT PUTS A BRAIN
IN YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD,

MOANA, TELL THE CHINAMAN...

TO GO FUCK HIMSELF,

AND ASK ME FOR THE KEYS
ON YOUR OWN.

( car doors slam )

I GOT THEM.
I GOT THE FISH.

JAKE FERRIS,
STINKWEED.

CAN ANYONE
THROW ME A BONE?

WHOSE RIDE WOULD
THIS BE NOW?

Reporter:
HAS SHAUN YOST BEEN
FOUND OR NOT?

Jake:
AH, THERE MAY BE
SOME NEWS ON THAT.

WE'RE PUTTING
SOMETHING TOGETHER
FOR YOU GUYS SOON.

- THANKS.
- IS THAT TINA BLAKE?

CAN I GET SOME RHYTHM?
SHE'S PART OF MY PRIVATE LIFE.

THIS AIN'T THE TIME
TO BREAK YOU'RE
HIS MOTHER.

THINK OF A PLACE
WE'RE GOING.

THERE'S A FENCE
AROUND BACK--
WE COULD CLIMB OVER.

BRAH, TRY TAKE
YOUR GLASSES OFF.

Freddy:
HAVIN' IT WHERE
WE COULD SEE IT,

- THAT'S THE CHINAMAN
ASKING TO NEGOTIATE.
- THEY'RE ALREADY IN THE CAR.

ASKIN' TO NEGOTIATE
WITH ME...

WOW.

...VOLUNTEERING
TO OFF MOANA.

THAT KID BETTER BE
MORE THAN HALF-SMART.

SO WHAT'D THE BUGGAH
BULAI TO YOU?

BRAH,

I THINK THAT BUGGAH LIKE ME
TAKE OVER HIS TURF IN HAWAII.

WHAT?
HOW COME?

I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE HE HAD A VISION
OR SOMETHING.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- FUCKING MAHU.

SO WHAT?

HE, LIKE, GIVE YOU
HIS BUSINESS

SO YOU CAN COME
AND GIVE 'EM BACK
TO ME?

( chuckles )

BRAH, I DON'T GIVE
NOTHING TO NOBODY.

IF ANYTHING, I TAKE.

AH, MOANA.

YOU REMEMBER
SMALL KID TIME?

I USED TO HANG YOU
OVER THE ROOF

SO YOU CAN BREAK IN
THROUGH THE WINDOW
AND ROB THE HOUSE?

YOU TRUST ME THEN,
RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT THAT WAS
HANABADDAH DAYS.

THAT WAS THEN,
THIS IS NOW.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I MAY BE PUPULE,
BUT I AIN'T NO LOLO.

I NEVER SAY
YOU WAS LOLO.

SO WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT YOU LIKE ME
DO NOW?

I DON'T KNOW,
I THINK MO' BETTAH
YOU HELE BACK TO HAWAII.

LET ME FIGURE OUT
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.

HOW'S THAT SOUND?

OKAY, BROTHER.

I'LL GO HELE BACK,
BUT REMEMBER ONE THING:

WE GO BACK A LONG
LONG WAY, BROTHER.

REMEMBER,
YOU AND I,

WE OHANA.

YEAH.

WHAT, I CAN THROW MY GLASSES
BACK ON OR WHAT?

( sighs )
SHOOT.

ALL RIGHT.

- ALOHA.
- ALOHA NO, BROTHER.

( sighs )

DROVE OFF--

THE CHINAMAN.

MOANA WALKED AWAY
ON FOOT.

LET'S GO
TO THE PARADE.

YOU BRING YOUR CELL PHONE
WITH YOU, DEFINITELY.

HE WON'T BE USING
NO CELL PHONE.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,
HE'LL BE COMIN'.

WHAT DO YOU WANT HERE?

THIS.

TIMES SQUARE,
NEW YEAR'S EVE--

ONLY THING MISSING'S
THE BALL...

WHICH COULD BE
HIM IN THERE.

THIS, SHAUN...?

Linc: WE SELL IT AS
A STINKWEED DRUMROLL, HYPE FOR
THE YOST FAMILY SIGNING--

ALL THE YOSTS
IN STINKWEED GEAR,
TREMENDOUS COMING-OUT PARTY.

- WHAT ABOUT JOHN?
- HE'S YOUR STUDENT.
YOU MADE ME SIGN HIM.

Jake:
FOLD HIM INTO
THE FAMILY PACKAGE.

IT LAYS DOWN COVER, MITCH,

FOR WHATEVER'S GOING ON,
AS LONG AS IT'S GOING ON.

NONE OF THOSE FLESH-EATERS
KNOW ABOUT ME YET.

YOU EVER PLAN ON
GOING OUTSIDE?

DO I ASSUME
NO PERMITS WERE
SECURED?

UH, STINKWEED'S
A GOOD CITIZEN OF I.B.,

WE'VE GOT ONE
TO SET UP IN THE PARK.

IF YOU TOOK
YOUR HAT OFF INDOORS,

YOU MIGHT REALIZE I WAS
REFERRING TO TRAFFIC CONTROL.

FORM UP ADJACENT
TO THE SURF SHOP

AND I'LL LEAD
YOUR VEHICLES IN.

BACK IN THE GAME,
MITCH YOST.

( birdcall )

STARE ME DOWN!

STARE ME DOWN!

IT'S EL DIABLO.

I GUESS YOU'RE BACK.

Bill:
THE STAGING AREA THAT
I HAD DESIGNATED WAS CLOSED.

I TRIED TO GET SOME
CITIZENS TO MOVE THEIR CARS.

WE GOT A REPORT YOU
WERE INTIMIDATING
CUSTOMERS.

I WASN'T INTIMIDATING
CUSTOMERS!

ASK HER! I HAVE COFFEE
IN THERE EVERY DAY.

AND NOW I'M IN CUFFS,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.

YOU WANT TO MAKE
YOURSELVES USEFUL?
CITE HIM!

- BECAUSE THOSE THINGS CUT THE
LEGS OUT FROM UNDER OLDSTERS.
- ( dog yips )

JUST WHEN YOU THINK
THINGS CAN'T GET WORSE,
THE MAN WITH THE DOG.

IT'S THE ALBATROSS
AROUND MY NECK.

MR. MANDATORY
RETIREMENT.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CIRCUS?
I'M ON MY WAY TO THE VET--

THIS IS OBSTRUCTION
OF A PEACE OFFICER.

- WE'RE PEACE OFFICERS!
- AND YOU'RE RETIRED.

LOOK AT THE VEHICLES.

LOOK AT THE VEHICLES.
THIS SITUATION IS DETERIORATING
BY THE SECOND.

EXCUSE US, OFFICERS,
WE HAVE A LIMITED-USE PERMIT
FOR AN EVENT NEAR THE PIER.

THEY HAD A PERMIT,
AND MY STRATEGY

WAS TO STAGE
THE VEHICLES HERE.

WHY STAGE THE VEHICLES
HERE IF THE EVENT IS
THREE BLOCKS AWAY?

WHY NOT JUST GO THERE?

GIVE THESE GUYS AN ESCORT,
GET 'EM OFF THE FUCKIN' STREE,
AND SET UP DOWN THERE.

BECAUSE YOUR POODLE'S
LATE FOR HIS HAIRCUT?

DOG HAS A FULMINATING
FUNGUS ON HIS PAD.

Man:
HEY, TINA, I'M THE GUY
THAT JERKS OFF TO YOUR TAPES!

- SHUT UP, YOU PERV!
- HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK
HER EX-HUSBAND'S DICK?

YEAH, SEE IF YOU CAN TELL
THE WORLD WHAT A USEFUL
LIFE YOU'VE LED

WITH THAT KIND
OF MOUTHFUL!

YOU PERV-DICK-
MOUTHFUL 24!

GO AHEAD,
YOU'LL BE LED THROUGH!

FOLLOW THE POLICE
OFFICERS.

YOU'LL BE LED THROUGH!
LEAD THEM THROUGH!

GO ON THROUGH!
YOU'RE BEING LED
BY THE POLICE OFFICERS,

THE COCKSUCKERS THAT
FORGOT TO TAKE MY CUFFS OFF!

GO ON THROUGH!

GO ON.
HERE'S A DRUG CASUALTY--
THINKS THIS CAR'S NORMAL.

GO AHEAD, IT'S THE HOMOSEXUAL
IN THE HYBRID-- GO ON!

- YOU'RE BEING LED THROUGH.
- ( wolf whistles )

LOOK AT THE BREASTS
ON THESE WOMEN!

THIS COUNTRY IS DOOMED!
BUT GO AHEAD, HAVE FUN.

LOW-RENT
AND HALF-ASSED...

- HARDCORE STINKWEED.
- ( all cheer )

BUT WE ALWAYS
ROLL WITH THE LOVELY
STINKWEED LADIES.

( men whistling )

WE GOT SOME FREE
T-SHIRTS RIGHT HERE.
LADIES, THROW 'EM OUT!

CHECK OUT THE NEW DESIGN.
COME TO THE BOOTH. CHECK OUT
THE NEW STINKWEED LOGO!

HEY, PRESS, DON'T FORGET
TO TAKE THESE GIFT BASKETS
ON THE WAY OUT!

YOU DON'T TAKE 'EM,
JAKE WON'T BE ABLE
TO WRITE 'EM OFF.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK, MA.

WE'RE THEM NOW.

IF I LOOK FAMILIAR,
PROBABLY SOMETIME IN YOUR LIFE

YOU'VE SEEN LINC STARK'S CAR
GETTING DETAILED.

LINC STARK
FOUNDED STINKWEED;

OUR C.E.O.
AND IN-HOUSE VISIONARY.

LINC'S GOT PLANS
AND HE'S HERE TO TELL YOU
ALL ABOUT THEM

AND I GUARANTEE YOU,
THEY'RE BIG!

Linc:
STANDING DOWN HERE
AT SURFHENGE,

BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT
TO BE ON THE SAME STAGE AS ME...

LINK'S GOING TO SELL
THE FAMILY.

...LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--
CISSY AND MITCH YOST!

( cheering, applause )

TINA BLAKE--

THE NAME MIGHT BE FAMILIAR
TO SOME OF YOU.

BUTCHIE YOST!

SOMEBODY, CHECK THAT MAN
FOR A WEAPON.

SHAUN YOST!

BUTCHIE'S NEW
SURFING DISCOVERY--

JOHNNY MONAD
FROM CINCINNATI!

STINKWEED,
A WING AND A PRAYER

UNTIL WE SIGNED BUTCHIE YOST
15 YEARS AGO.

BUTCHIE YOST PUT
STINKWEED ON THE MAP

AND WE DID ALL WE COULD
TO HELP BUTCHIE CRASH AND BURN.

'CAUSE BUSINESS IS BUSINESS.
IN OUR BUSINESS,

WE SELL CRASH-AND-BURN
LIKE FORD SELLS TOUGH.

( mock weeping )
YOU GOT A HANKIE?

TIME PASSES,
I SEE BUTCHIE YOST'S
SON SURFING.

SHAUN YOST SURFS
LIKE AN ANGEL.

AND WHEN I PITCH IT TO MITCH
AND CISSY YOST, THEY AGREE

TO LET SHAUN SIGN WITH ME
BECAUSE IT'S WHAT HE WANTS.

OH, AND MAYBE I MAKE A PROMISE
THAT I WON'T DO THE SAME THING

WITH SHAUN
THAT I DID WITH BUTCHIE.

HUNTINGTON BEACH,
SHAUN GOES DOWN.

SORRY, CISSY.
SORRY, MITCH.

DO NOT THINK FOR A SECOND,
NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS,

THAT THE LEOPARD
WILL EVER CHANGE HIS SPOTS.

STINKWEED MARKETS
SHAUN'S SPRAINED NECK

AS A MIRACLE JOURNEY
BACK FROM DEATH

BY SURFING'S NEW
YOUNG SUPERSTAR.

SHAUN AND JOHN
GO AWOL SURFING,

THE LEOPARD DECIDES TO SELL IT
AS A DISAPPEARANCE.

HE CALLS THE GRANDPARENTS,
GETS THEM ALL FREAKED OUT.

THEY CALL THE MEDIA,
TELL 'EM SHAUN'S MISSING.

SHAUN AND JOHN
COME HOME.

CISSY AND MITCH
ARE DOWN ON THE LEOPARD.

BUTCHIE WANTS TO BUST
A CAP IN HIS ASS.

SOME PEOPLE
JUST WILL NOT SEE
THE BUSINESS ANGLE.

WHICH IS HOW AND WHY THE LEOPARD
IS HERE BEFORE YOU NOW.

THE YOSTS HAVE THROWN
A COLLAR ON THE CAT.

THEY'RE MAKING HIM
CLIMB IN A CAGE.

THEY WILL STAY WITH STINKWEED
ONLY IF I GET OUT.

STINKWEED LAYS DOWN
COVER FOR MY FATHER.

AH-BAH-DEE,
AH-BAH-DEE, AH-BAH-DEE.
I'M OUT, FOLKS!

JAKE FERRIS,
THE NEW C.E.O.

LINC IS EL CAMINO.

WE WILL NEVER
DO BAD AGAIN.

( Jake, softly )
LINC STARK, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN.

( rock music playing )

GET OFF MY FUCKING FOOT
OR I'LL KILL YOU.

LOOK--
OTHER SIDE.

TALK OR GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE.

BRAH, GIVE ME
THE KEYS.

CHECK OUT
THE NEW WETSUITS,
STINKWEED'S NEW DESIGN.

John:
DR. SMITH COMES BACK 20 YEARS
YOUNGER FROM CINCINNATI.

CISSY GETS KNOCKED-UP.

SHE'S BIGGER
THAN LEONA HELMSLEY.

EARTH PUTS DICKSTEIN
ON RETAINER.

DAPHNE KEEPS
HIS HEAD STRAIGHT.

- ( cheering )
- John: JERRI MEETS A SLEW
OF NEW HARELIPS.

MY FATHER FOUR-WALLS
BARRY'S BAR.

DR. SMITH TRAINS
DWAYNE AND RAMON.

MY FATHER FREELANCES
IN CASS'S CAMERA.

SAYING I'D NOT CLIMB
THOSE STAIRS AGAIN

OR COME BACK
IN THIS ROOM...

I GUESS NOW YOU KNOW
I'M A FIBBER.

WHY I CAME UP HERE,
SWEETHEART...

THAT SON OF THE YOST BOY--

BUTCHIE WHO HELPED YOU
WITH YOUR GROCERIES?

HIS SON WENT MISSING.

THE LONG AND SHORT
OF IT, SHAUN--

BUTCHIE'S SON--

SAFELY RETURNED.

HAPPY OUTCOME.

ON THE DOWNSIDE,

THE GREEN ONE'S GONE.

I WAS REMISS,

TROTTING HIM PLACES
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.

ALTHOUGH I'LL SAY,

FIRST EXCURSION OUT
I TOOK HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

IT WAS A...

WORTHWHILE VISIT.

SEE, THIS IS WHY...

THIS IS WHY
I DON'T COME UP HERE.

WHERE DO YOU START
AND STOP?

EVERY EVENT
AND INCIDENT--

"OH, IF SHE COULD HAVE
ONLY SEEN THIS!

WOULDN'T SHE HAVE LAUGHED
TO HAVE SEEN THAT?"

IF I TOOK THE MOUTH-HARP
TO HAND TO COME UP WITH,

I'D HAVE NEVER MADE IT
UP THE STAIRS

OR I'D PLAY TO YOU.

HERE I GO DOWN.

GOD LOVE YOU, MY LO',

AND HOLD YOU TIGHT.

LOIS...

LO', LOOK AT THIS!

( rock music continues )

John:
MOTHER OF GOD, CASS-KAI.

( rock music continues )