Original subtitles

( theme music playing )

( fireworks exploding )

( crowd cheering )

Announcer: Thanks for supporting clean water!

- Man: We've gone off the path now. - Announcer: All right, KC.

Way to go, buddy.

( Hare Krishna music playing )

( turns off sound )

( clears throat )

( flicking lighter )

NO.

THAT'S GOOD. PERFECT.

THIS ACTUALLY...

NO.

( humming nervously )

( exhales )

AHH!

OH, I GUESS I'M JUST A STICK-IN-THE-MUD.

JUST 'CAUSE EVERY DEGENERATE IN AMERICA

JERKS OFF TO HIS MOTHER'S VIDEOS...

AND SHE ONLY SHOWED UP TO MAKE MONEY

OFF OF SHAUNIE BEING IN THE PAPERS,

WHY WOULD I THINK SHE COULDN'T HELP HIM

THROUGH HIS TEEN YEARS?

( door closes )

WELL, I HOPE IT'S PUMPING AT SALSA PUEDES, MITCH.

I HOPE YOU CATCH SOME REAL SOUL-SEARCHERS.

GOOD MORNING.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SHOUT ABOUT HER, GRAM.

- DID I WAKE YOU UP? - I KNEW ALREADY.

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

SHAUNIE!

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS, GRAM. YOU DID.

THAT EXTRA GRAND IS FOR TELLING ME HOW IT WAS.

YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD A GOOD TIME?

THAT'S IT, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE.

YOU FUCKED ME CROSS-EYED.

I NEVER TOOK A COCK THAT BIG AND YOU HANDLE IT LIKE A CHAMP.

MY GOD, THE PERFECT WOMAN.

DO BETTER THAN YOU DID WITH BUTCHIE.

WITH SHAUN?

I DON'T THINK I'LL GET THE CHANCE.

YOU SURE YOU WANT TO?

STICK AROUND. HELP ME THINK.

YEAH. THAT'S WHAT I'M GOOD AT.

I HAD A GOOD TIME.

( door opens, shuts )

- ( lighter flicks ) - ( sharp inhale )

John: DON'T BE AFRAID, JOE.

( gasps )

THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO GET ANOTHER FATAL INJURY THERE, FRAT BOY.

( uncocks gun )

HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH THE WIRE?

HOW DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE?

LOOK, I GOT CLOSE ONTO 500 PLANTS

LESS THAN A WEEK FROM HARVEST WITHIN 100 YARDS OF HERE

AND I-- IT MAKES ME FUCKING NERVOUS.

JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED, JOE.

THE VATO MUST GET HIS DUE.

THE ONE THAT STABBED YOU?

WELL, IF THERE EVER WAS A CRIME

THAT CRIED TO HEAVEN FOR REDRESS,

IT'D BE GETTING GUTTED AND LEFT IN A DITCH.

THE POLICE SHOULD BE INVOLVED.

WELL, AS FAR AS THAT, I--

I FLINCH FROM IT IN PRINCIPLE.

YOU SAW ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT OVER THERE.

BILL SHOULD BE INVOLVED, JOE.

- BILL JACKS? - I GOT MY EYE ON YOU!

HIM AND ME SERVED AROUND THE SAME TIME.

DIFFERENT UNITS. BILL'S GOOD PEOPLE.

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU SAY

THAT I'M THINKING, FRAT BOY.

I'M STILL NOT GIVING UP HERB.

( mimics inhaling )

ZIPPY TOLD BILL WE'D BE OVER.

( rock music playing on radio )

HEY.

NO FIRE TRUCKS HEADED TO YOUR HOUSE LAST NIGHT.

I FIGURE THAT HAD TO BE A PLUS.

- DID HE STOP HERE? - SHAUNIE?

WHO ELSE WOULD I BE ASKING ABOUT?

NO. IS HE SURFING?

HE TOOK HIS SKATEBOARD. HE DIDN'T TAKE HIS WETSUIT.

WELL, I WONDER IF MAYBE HE'S SKATING.

- COULD YOU GO SEE? - YOU BUSY, CISSY?

TIME FOR YOUR BALL-BUSTER BOOSTER SHOT?

WILL YOU GO LOOK FOR HIM OR NOT?

I GUESS I PROBABLY WILL.

IS HE GONNA HIT ME WITH A BRICK WHEN I FIND HIM?

HE LOVES YOU.

DID YOU TALK TO HIM AFTER I LEFT?

HE WAS ASLEEP.

WELL, DID YOU TELL HIM THIS MORNING SHE WAS THERE?

HE HEARD ME SAY SOME THINGS ABOUT HER ON THE PHONE TO MITCH.

WAS ONE OF THEM THAT TINA HAD BEEN TO THE HOUSE THE NIGHT BEFORE TO SEE SHAUNIE?

HE HEARD ME SAY SHE MADE DIRTY MOVIES

AND HE STORMS OUT OF THE HOUSE.

HE KNOWS SHE MAKES DIRTY MOVIES, CISSY.

THAT IDIOT FRIEND OF HIS GAVE HIM ONE.

WELL, HE IS BARRED FROM THE STORE.

ARE YOU SURE HE DIDN'T HEAR YOU SAY TINA HAD BEEN THERE?

I DIDN'T SAY SHE'D BEEN THERE, KAI.

WHICH OF THOSE PISS POTS GAVE HIM HER FUCK FILM?

ARE YOU SURE HE WAS ASLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IS,

IF HE KNEW TINA CAME TO SEE HIM

AND HE DIDN'T GET TO LOOK AT HER, MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE'S UPSET.

WELL, MAYBE IF YOU'D GO AND FUCKING ASK HIM, WE'D KNOW.

DID YOU HAPPEN TO HEAR FROM BUTCHIE?

NO.

BIG SURPRISE.

WHY?

FOR MY WEBSITE.

ME AND THE YOSTS, INFORMATION I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT.

YOU ASK SHAUN WHAT HE WANTS.

DOES HE WANT TO SEE HER?

IS THAT WHAT HE'S BEING SUCH A LITTLE JERK ABOUT?

HOW CAN ANYONE HELP YOU, CISSY,

WHEN YOU WON'T SEE WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?

WHICH IS WHAT?

WHICH IS, WHOEVER YOU DON'T DRIVE AWAY

RUNS AWAY ON HIS OWN.

( bird squawking )

HOW DO YOU STAND THE CONSTANT CHEEPING?

EVERY ONE HATCHED IN THIS HOME.

BE AWARE, IF YOU SPEAK IN THAT VOICE AGAIN,

I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY.

WHAT'S YOUR POLICY ON GUESTS SMOKING HERB?

NOT PERMITTED.

AND YOUR SMART-ASS FRIEND HERE WITH HIS CHARLIE MCCARTHY IMITATIONS

SKATES ON VERY VERY VERY THIN ICE...

HOW ABOUT IN THE BACKYARD?

...WHICH I'M LIABLE AS NOT TO POUND HIS HEAD THROUGH,

WITH MY FIST,

AND HOLD HIM GAGGING

AND THRASHING BENEATH THE SURFACE OF,

TILL HE DROWNS.

THE ICE.

CHAMOMILE, BILLY-- WONDERFUL.

HE'S IMITATING MY WIFE,

WHO HAS PASSED!

OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

- WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE? - ( squawks )

GO AHEAD, ZIP. YOU'RE THE BIG CRUISE DIRECTOR.

ENTERTAIN 'EM WHILE I GET BACK MY COMPOSURE.

( bird squawks )

THIS YOUNG MAN WHO'S HAD HIS EYE ON YOU

WANTS THE VATO WHO GUTTED HIM TO FACE ARREST.

OH GOD, ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY?

ARE-- ARE YOU IN DISCOMFORT?

NO.

IS HE LYING TO ME, TO HIS OWN PURPOSES?

NO, BILLY.

( sobbing ) OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

GET OUT OF HERE,

BOTH OF YOU.

COME ON.

I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT.

JUST LET ME GET MY COMPOSURE.

( bird squawks )

WHERE IS MY FOOD?

WHERE IS MY FOOD?!

( knock at door )

COME IN!

YOU CAN JUST PUT IT... YEAH.

THANK YOU.

OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

FUCKING DRUM CIRCLE.

( clanging )

IF-- IF THOSE STRINGS ARE NOT DRAWN TAUT, BUTCHIE,

THERE MAY AS WELL BE NO STRINGS.

WATCH ME TIGHTEN THESE BABIES, MEYER.

NO NO NO, I'LL DO IT.

THANK-- THANKS FOR THE OFFER.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO WAIT FOR THE PAINTING PHASE.

PAINT I HUFF.

THEN THAT WOULDN'T BE A GOOD PHASE EITHER.

MOTHERFUCKER...

- ( shouts ) - WHOA.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

- WHAT? - HOW ARE YOU?

A MORNING PLEASANTRY.

HOW WOULD YOU BE, DROWNING IN LOWLIFES?

I'M SURE I'D BE GASPING FOR AIR.

FOR YOUR ROOM.

HAWAII, I'M SAYING. I WAS TALKING ON THE PHONE.

OH YES.

DON'T ASK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

- HEY, DOC! - HEY.

- HOW'S YOUR FRIEND FEELING? - JOHN?

WELL, HE'S GOT HIS BALLS IN THAT BLONDE GIRL'S CHIN,

SO IF HE'S NOT DOING GOOD, SHAME ON HIM.

AND YOUR BOY?

BOY'S DOING GOOD, AS FAR AS I KNOW.

THERE'S LOTS OF QUICK HEALERS IN THIS ZIP CODE.

OH YEAH!

DOCTORS. PATIENT'S IN CRITICAL PAIN--

CALL MONDAY. I'M PLAYING GOLF.

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

HOW YOU FEELING?

GOOD, FINE. THANKS FOR ASKING.

YOU GIVING ME A SMALL SURPRISE, DOC.

WHAT DO THE X-RAYS SHOW?

MY X-RAYS? WHAT'D THEY SHOW?

YEAH.

EVERYTHING'S GOOD, YOU KNOW.

HEALING UP GOOD. LIKE GANGBUSTERS, YOU KNOW?

THANKS FOR ASKING, VERY MUCH. APPRECIATE THAT.

WHICH BONES DID IT TURN OUT WERE BROKEN?

- WHAT? - WHICH BONES IN YOUR WRIST?

WHICH OF YOUR METACARPALS?

OH MOST, IF NOT ALL.

BUT THEY DECIDED NOT TO CAST IT?

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE.

MY SENSE WOULD BE YOU SHOULD HAVE A CAST ON THAT.

YEAH, WELL, CHOCOLATE-VANILLA, DOC, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW? YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND THEN YOU DIDN'T SO...

THE TEXTBOOK APPROACH WOULD BE NOT TO CAST A PATIENT BEFORE AN X-RAY.

YEAH, WELL, PUSH COMES TO SHOVE,

FUCK ALL OF YA.

- WHOA WHOA! - YOU KNOW?

WON'T LET A SLEEPING DOG LIE!

HEY, TAKE IT EASY, PALAKA!

WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU STARTING TROUBLE?

NEVER MIND! NEVER MIND.

AN ACQUAINTANCE SUSTAINS A FRACTURE,

PROVIDES HIS BOSS ENTREE TO ASK AFTER A STRANGER'S CONDITION...

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF THE SUN NOW?

YEAH, YOU AND ME, WE COULD BOTH CONTRACT FATAL FUCKING DYSENTERY

BEFORE ANYBODY GIVES THE FIRST FLYING FUCK!

- HEY. - EXCUSE ME, I GOT TO CLEAN THE 4.

HOLD MY STRING.

IN SOME SITUATIONS, YOU MORON PIECE OF SHIT

MAYBE HEARD AS A BLESSED SOLICITOR.

- WHAT? - HELLO, MRS. YOST.

YEAH, HELLO. I NEED TO TALK TO BUTCHIE.

YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?

- I'M SURE YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T REMEMBER ME. - YEAH. SORRY.

BUT SHE EXPRESSED WHAT I TOOK FOR A KINDNESS A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO.

CAN WE TALK, PLEASE?

HE'S PROBABLY CONFUSING YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

CISSY.

ONE MOTHER'S REBUKE OF HER SON,

EVEN IF VILE AND OBSCENE,

MAY BE TAKEN AS KINDNESS BY ANOTHER

WHOSE MOTHER IS NOT AT HAND.

WHY DON'T WE GO TAKE SOME PICTURES OF YOUR WRIST

AND THEN I CAN PUT A CAST ON AFTER?

THANKS, BUT NO THANK YOU.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT MY BIRTHDAY AFTER NEXT.

WELL...

HEY HEY, WAIT!

LOOK AT ME, I'M TALKING TO YOU. APOLOGIZE TO HIM.

- I'M SCRUBBING THE POOL TILES. - NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY.

YOU SHUT UP. I JUMP DOWN THERE,

YOU'LL BE SCRUBBING YOUR OWN BRAINS OFF THOSE TILES.

WELL I DEFINITELY BETTER CLIMB OUT THEN, HUH?

WHO BETTER THAN THE SOURCE OF MY FRACTURE

TO FORCE ME TO GIVE UP ENJOYING MYSELF?

FORCING TREATMENT ON A PERSON ISN'T MY IDEA OF GOOD PRACTICE.

NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR IDEAS.

JUST TAKE HIM TO GET HIS WRIST FIXED,

OR YOU'RE LIABLE TO NEED TREATMENT YOURSELF.

YOUR SPEECH PATTERN INCLINES TOWARD THE MEGALOMANIACAL.

I ALSO GRIND MY FUCKING TEETH AT NIGHT.

BUT I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING PATIENT.

I'M HAPPY TO TAKE YOU IF YOU WANT TO GO.

HERE-- DRIVE MY CAR.

UNLESS YOU WANT TO RIDE ON HIS HANDLEBARS?

JUST FOLLOW ME.

I'M GONNA FOLLOW A BICYCLE?

IT'S NOT FAR.

( grunts )

I WANT TINA TO SEE SHAUN.

WHICH ONE OF US WAS HIGH LAST NIGHT, MA?

I WAS NOT FUCKING HIGH LAST NIGHT.

I'M JUST SAYING, UNLESS I WAS LOADED, TINA SAW HIM.

AND I'M SAYING...

YOU MEAN WITH HIS EYES OPEN?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

I FUCKED UP THIS MORNING.

I SAID THINGS.

I-- I MEAN, I SAID THE TRUTH.

I WAS TALKING TO YOUR ASSHOLE FATHER ON THE PHONE

AND SHAUNIE HEARD ME TALK ABOUT HER.

YOU MEAN, HE WAS LISTENING IN ON THE CALL?

OH, YOU FUCKING MORON.

WELL, I GUESS YOU WERE YELLING.

I HURT HIS FEELINGS.

HE WALKED OUT, I HURT HIM SO BAD.

HOW BAD WAS WHAT YOU SAID?

THAT SHE WAS A WHORE,

PORN QUEEN, PIECE OF SHIT.

OH.

HE IS 13, MA.

AND TINA'S TAPES GET AROUND.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S HALF A CHANCE THAT IT WASN'T FRESH NEWS.

- HE ALREADY HAD ONE OF HER TAPES. - THERE YOU GO.

HE DIDN'T EVEN OPEN IT, YOU MORON.

IT WAS STILL IN ITS WRAPPER.

I ONLY CAME TO ASK YOU TO--

TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HER.

SHE LEFT I.B., MA.

I ASKED IF SHE WAS STAYING LAST NIGHT.

WHAT BUSINESS DID YOU HAVE ASKING IF SHE WAS STAYING?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

COME ON.

YOU DIDN'T SEE HIS FACE.

YOU WANT ME TO GO LOOKING FOR HIM?

I ASKED KAI.

YEAH, THAT'S-- THAT'S GOOD.

( clears throat )

I HAVE HER NUMBER-- TINA.

DO YOU WANT ME TO TRY HER ON THE PHONE?

ISN'T THAT WHAT THE FUCK I CAME TO ASK YOU?

WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?

( engine starts )

I'M AFRAID OF MY FIANCEE.

( tires screech )

HEY, TINA! HOW'S YOUR ASS?

GOT ALL YOUR TAPES. CAME TO MOST OF 'EM.

I AM GONNA GET HIGH.

I'VE BEEN FUCKING HIGH IN MY LIFE.

HIGHER THAN ANY OTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE I KNOW.

- ( ringing ) - AND I AM GONNA GET TWICE AS HIGH

AS I HAVE EVER BEEN.

Woman on recording: Do you avoid having guests in your home?

Do you make excuses to them

when you know you're ashamed of your flooring?

ARE YOU ASHAMED OF YOUR FLOORING?

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW OUR MOTIVE

AND OUR SPECIFIC PURPOSE, AND I WILL NOT DIRECTLY ASK A MORON.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW OUR MOTIVE.

JESUS CHRIST. JESUS CHRIST!

I FOUND HIM STABBED NEAR THIS ROAD.

AND VATO WAS IN HIS VOCABULARY...

HE DOESN'T HAVE A VOCABULARY. HE'S A HUMAN PARROT.

I AM A HUMAN PARROT!

AND BEING A HUMAN PARROT, AND HIM NOW SAYING VATO,

THE MORE LIKELY WE'RE IN THE RIGHT NEIGHBORHOOD.

FRIED-BRAIN HOPHEAD!

MY FUCKING FIBROMYALGIA IS IN UPHEAVAL!

- JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED. - QUIET, JOHN.

I'LL GIVE 'EM JUSTICE WITH MY TWO BARE HANDS!

JUSTICE...

ON THE BORDER WITH MEXICO.

I THINK WE MAY ALL NEED A SPLIFF.

WELL, ON THAT, I TAKE NO POSITION.

I'LL CARPET FOUR ROOMS IN YOUR HOUSE.

COULD YOU AT LEAST TURN THE RADIO OFF?

- ...that number is 866... - ( turns off )

( cell phone rings )

HELLO?

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?

MY CELL PHONE JUST RANG.

OH DID IT JUST RING, YOU FUCKING CUNT?

I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THE PAST 20 MINUTES.

IT JUST RANG, BUTCHIE!

Did it just ring, or were you sucking some nigger's prick?!

( phone beeps )

YEAH, DON'T ANSWER IT.

DON'T ANSWER, I WILL FIND YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE

AND I WILL CUT YOUR FUCKING CUNT OUT OF YOUR BODY.

I'm not gonna listen to that shit, Butchie.

DON'T-- DON'T FUCKING HANG UP ON ME, TINA.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T YOU FUCKING HANG UP!

ALL RIGHT, JUST LET ME TRY TO FIGURE OUT

WHAT THE FUCK I'M TRYING TO DO HERE.

OKAY, LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME.

I APOLOGIZE.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN TO ME. SHAUNIE NEEDS TO SEE YOU.

OR CISSY WANTS YOU TO SEE SHAUNIE.

I CAN'T COME BACK, BUTCHIE.

WHAT? YOU GOT TO GO SUCK SOME NIGGER'S PRICK?

DON'T-- DON'T HANG UP! DON'T HANG UP!

FUCK, LISTEN TO ME.

SHAUNIE'S FEELINGS ARE HURT, OKAY?

HE'S UPSET.

ABOUT WHAT?

He's feelings are hurt. Okay, he's lost.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

THAT I CAME TO SEE HIM?

NO, NO, HE WANTS TO SEE YOU.

What's he upset about?

JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE FUCK DO I KNOW?

Huh? What the fuck do I know about it?

I can't even get fucking high here!

- ARE YOU HIGH, BUTCHIE? - Fuck you!

ALL RIGHT, FUCK YOU! WHY DON'T YOU GO MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

AND GO SUCK SOME NIGGER'S PRICK!

I'M COMING BACK THERE.

DON'T GET HIGH, BUTCHIE. DON'T LET SHAUN GET HURT.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE?

OH FUCK.

Vietnam Joe: THERE'S SOMEONE DOWN IN THAT BUSH.

HOW'S THE REEFER TREATING YOU?

BELIEVE ME, I'VE SMOKED MORE REEFER

THAN CARTER MADE LITTLE LIVER PILLS.

CONFIRM THE SIGHTING, TROOPER.

I'LL CONFIRM IT, TROOPER.

YOU SEE THAT GUY THERE?

- I SEE THAT GUY. - DID HE STAB YOU? YES OR NO?

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S GONNA MAKE HIM SAY.

- HE STABBED ME, YES OR NO. - THIS COULD END IN FISTICUFFS.

BETTER SHE TRIES TO KILL ME AND FAILS THAN TRIES TO KILL HERSELF.

UNCONSCIOUS.

- CISSY YOST. - WHAT?

ARE YOU SITTING IN YOUR KITCHEN ON 7TH STREET

THINKING OF BLOWING OFF YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR GUN YOU GOT BACK FROM KAI'S TRAILER?

HAVE YOU COMPLETELY RUN OUT OF WHATEVER LET YOU

PUT UP WITH YOUR ASSHOLE HUSBAND FOR 31 YEARS?

DO YOU FEEL THAT EVERYTHING YOU EVER TOUCHED IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE,

YOU TURNED TO SHIT AND MUD?

ARE YOU ASHAMED, CISSY,

THAT ONCE WHEN MITCH WAS ON ONE OF HIS BULLSHIT RETREATS

AND YOU WERE LOADED ON ACID AND BUTCHIE WAS 13

AND HE'D JUST WON HIS FIRST CONTEST AND YOU WERE SO PROUD OF HIM

FOR NOT BEING MITCH, AND YOU WENT INTO HIS ROOM AND HE WAS WHIPPING HIS SKIPP,

THAT YOU SAID, "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THAT"?

( gasps )

( clicking )

HAVE YOU WANTED TO KILL YOURSELF EVERY DAY SINCE, CISSY,

AND NOT EVEN KNOWN IT

AND TURNED YOURSELF INTO THE WORST BALL-BUSTER KNOWN TO MAN

SO NO ONE WOULD BE WITH YOU

AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID

THAT YOU'D EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN?

THAT'S HOW ASHAMED OF YOURSELF YOU WERE?

( sobbing )

DO YOU THINK NOW SHAUN...

WHO YOU LOVED SO MUCH AND TRIED TO MAKE A LIFE FOR,

NOW YOU TURNED AROUND AND HURT HIS FEELINGS SO BAD?

DO YOU HURT SO BAD, YOU WANTED TO JUST QUIT AND BE OVER?

EVERYTHING?

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT OUR OFFER, CISSY.

WE PREFER YOU DON'T. WE WISH YOU WOULDN'T.

OUR OFFER IS, KEEP GOING,

FEELING JUST AS MISERABLE, OR WORSE.

HOLD THE GUN UNDER THE SPIGOT AND TURN THE WATER ON.

SPARE SHAUN FINDING YOU DEAD IN THE KITCHEN.

AND AS A BONUS, YOU'LL ALSO RECEIVE HIS LOVE.

ACT NOW, CISSY.

BAPTIZE THAT FUCKING PISTOL!

IN-- INSTEAD OF CATERING TO A WALK-IN TRADE,

I'D BE ATTORNEY TO A SINGLE CLIENT.

A HOMOSEXUAL PSYCHOPATH.

"PSYCHOPATH" IS HARSH.

LOTTERY WINNERS ARE NOT, MEYER.

MEN WHO HIRE THEIR ATTORNEYS AT GUNPOINT ARE PSYCHOPATHS.

THE SALARY HE'S OFFERED,

EXCEEDS BY $12,000 MY INCOME

IN ANY CALENDAR YEAR SINCE GRADUATION.

WHAT IF HIS RELATIVES TRY TO HAVE HIM COMMITTED?

I DON'T THINK HE HAS ANY LIVING RELATIVES.

AND I WOULD CONTEST THAT MOTION.

- AH! - WHAT NOW, ASSHOLE?

Man: I RENT THIS STATION FOR $6 AN HOUR...

- ISN'T THIS PLEASANT? - ...IN ORDER TO ACCESS AND MAINTAIN MY WEBSITE,

NOT SPEND 45 MINUTES OUT OF EVERY HOUR

SCANNING FOR VIRUSES WITH OUTDATED SOFTWARE.

HERE'S AN IDEA THEN, DUANE,

I'LL REIMBURSE YOU $4.50,

YOU TAKE IT AND BUY RAT POISON. YOU BRING IT HERE TO ME

AND I'LL MIX IT WITH YOUR WHEATGRASS.

MY YOST WEBSITE GOT 10,000 HITS LAST NIGHT.

IT-- IT'S FROM BUTCHIE'S SON, BUT THE OVERFLOW FOR BUTCHIE COULD BE HUGE.

IMAGINE IF HE STILL SURFED.

THAT'S BUTCHIE'S LAWYER FILING FOR BANKRUPTCY.

( whispering ) HE MUST ALSO DO CRIMINAL WORK.

YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST GO AWAY, OKAY?

JUST GO AWAY. PLEASE.

ARE YOU DONE?

ANYTIME YOU'RE READY.

I WANT TO MEET HIM, THIS BARRY.

I WANT TO MEET ALL OF THEM--

YOUR NEW FRIENDS.

ALL RIGHT.

UM, FINE.

( chuckles )

$5 TIP.

HE'LL GET A MIGRAINE LATER.

I ASKED YOU NOT TO DO THAT.

YOU'RE ASKING ME TO GO BACK TO HER EMPTY-HANDED, KAI.

YOU KNOW, RAKING IS VERY RELAXING.

YOU WANT TO FEEL?

OF COURSE.

HMM.

DOESN'T THE YOST BOY SKATE AS WELL AS SURF?

IT'S HOW HE GETS AROUND ON LAND.

SUPPOSE WE WERE TO NOT FILL THE POOL?

TELL ME NOW BEFORE I GO FOR THE HOSE.

MM.

OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.

KAI, I CALLED TINA-- "WHAT TIME ARE YOU GETTING HERE?"

TINA SAYS, "WHAT TIME IS SHAUNIE GETTING TO CISSY'S?"

AND I SAID, "OH, SHAUNIE?

WELL, KAI CAN'T EVEN GET SHAUNIE OUT OF THE FUCKING BOWL

TO ASK SHAUNIE IF HE'LL GO TO CISSY'S."

YOUNG HENRY KISSINGER.

JESUS CHRIST! IF SHAUNIE'S IN THE BOWL,

HE CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TO ME, KAI!

So why are you whispering to me

so i can't hear what you're saying to me?

I SAID, I'M NOT GETTING SHAUNIE IN THE CAR, BUTCHIE,

without telling him where I'm taking him.

WHO TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL HIM WHERE YOU'RE TAKING HIM?

I'M NOT TAKING HIM TO CISSY'S

UNTIL I KNOW TINA'S GONNA MEET HIM THERE.

TELL HIM TINA'S GONNA MEET HIM.

AND CISSY SAID SHE'D HOST THE LUNCH?

IF CISSY SAYS THAT SHE WANTS TINA TO SEE SHAUNIE,

WHY WOULDN'T SHE WANT HER TO SEE HIM IN HER OWN FUCKING HOUSE, KAI?

NOW, I DON'T WANT TO ASK HER TO HOST A LUNCH

UNTIL I KNOW THAT SHAUN'S IN THE CAR WITH YOU!

I BETTER NOT GET HIM THAT HOUSE, BUTCHIE,

and have Cissy freak out in front of Shaun again

'CAUSE THEN HE'LL NEVER WANT TO FUCKING GO BACK THERE.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OH GOD. I GOTTA GET FUCKING HIGH!

( saxophone blaring )

THAT'S HOW I RELAX! ALL RIGHT?

WAS HE TUNING UP OR WAS THAT A TUNE?

ROGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN. NOT THEIR BEST PHASE.

SHAUNIE!

SHAUN!

YOUR GRAM SENT ME. SHE FEELS BAD.

SHE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR MOM.

- AT MY GRAM'S? - YEAH, AT YOUR GRAM'S, SHAUNIE.

YOUR GRAM'S THE ONE TRYING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

SHE HURTS EVERYONE'S FEELINGS.

YOUR GRAM'S YOUR GRAM, SHAUNIE.

HURRY UP AND DECIDE. I GOT WORK TO DO AT THE U.N.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER AT MY GRAM'S.

SHAUNIE!

WHO FINANCED YOUR VIDEO, SHAUNIE, WITH HER OWN MONEY?

AND WHO GOT YOU IN THAT CONTEST?

AN WHO'S BEEN THERE FOR YOU EVERY FUCKING MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE?

WHOA.

( tires screech )

HEY. CALLING MY MOM.

WHERE'S SHAUN?

KAI'S TAKING HIM TO MY MOM'S.

UH, THANKS FOR COMING BACK.

WHY IS SHE TAKING HIM TO YOUR MOM'S?

- 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE GONNA SEE HIM. - Cissy: Hey, Butchie.

- WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE AT HER HOUSE? - HEY, MOM?

HOLD ON FOR A SECOND. 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE IT'S GONNA BE.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO SEE SHAUN, BUTCHIE,

AND YOUR MOTHER WANTED ME TO.

ARE YOU SAYING YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH ME?

GOD'S SAKES-- FOR GOD'S SAKES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

JUST LET ME TALK TO MY MOTHER!

YEAH, MOM, TINA'S HERE AND SHE WANTS TO KNOW

IF YOU COULD HOST A LUNCH FOR HER AND SHAUN.

- WHAT? - SHE ASKED YOU TO ASK ME THAT?

YEAH, SHE'S HERE RIGHT NOW WITH ME.

I'M NOT FUCKING TALKING TO HER.

NO-- I MEAN, YEAH. SHE'S TAKING A PISS.

BUT SHE IS HERE AND SHE'S READY TO COME OVER.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, SHE WANTS ME TO "HOST A LUNCH"?

WHAT DO I KNOW? JUST LAY OUT SOME TUNA FISH OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DO.

- SHE'S GOT SOME BALLS. - Yeah.

WHAT DO I KNOW?

ANYWAYS, IS THAT THE MESSAGE?

WHAT?

THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE HER OVER FOR LUNCH?

I'M NOT HOSTING ANY FUCKING LUNCH, BUTCHIE.

- I'LL LEAVE THE FUCKING STUFF. - SURE, LEAVE IT OUT.

SHE'LL APPRECIATE IT. YOU GOT A PREVIOUS FUCKING COMMITMENT.

YEAH, THAT'S FINE.

Tina: HOW DOES HE LIKE HIS TUNA FISH?

WITH SALT...

AND PEPPER.

PICKLES.

AND LEMON JUICE.

TWO TABLESPOONS OF MAYO...

IS HOW I MAKE IT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW HE LIKES IT.

I NEVER ASKED HIM.

( knife chopping )

( wheels screeching )

- HEY. - YOUR MOM'S GOT A GUN.

YEAH, MY DAD'S ALWAYS IN THE TREE HOUSE.

SHE'S AFRAID OF BURGLARS.

BEFORE YOU AND TINA CAME OVER LAST NIGHT,

SHE HAD THAT GUN OUT, BUTCHIE.

I TOOK IT AWAY FROM HER, BUT THEN I JUST FOUND OUT

SHE WENT TO MY TRAILER AND GOT IT BACK.

IT'S ALL RIGHT ABOUT THE GUN-- I UNLOADED IT.

BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S ALL RIGHT THAT SHE WANTED TO GO AND GET IT.

WELL, I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA HURT HERSELF.

SHE JUST LOOKED ME IN THE EYE

LIKE SHE HAD CENTURIES OF BALL-BUSTING LEFT IN HER.

- YOU DRIVING TINA? - YEAH.

WHAT DID I DO WITH MY CHAUFFEUR'S CAP?

I WALKED DOWN TO SEE HOW THINGS WERE GOING

'CAUSE I'M TWO FUCKING BLOCKS AWAY.

GIVE ME A RIDE BACK, I'M EXHAUSTED.

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.

I EXPLAINED TO YOU BEFORE, I MADE A COMMITMENT.

NO, I'M JUST SAYING, THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.

I'M SO GLAD WE RECONCILED.

HELLO. HELLO.

HI, PLEASURE, YEAH. JUST RETURNED FROM THE CLINIC, DICKSTEIN.

YEAH, IT'S NOT MY IDEA OF FUN, BUT HERE I AM.

DAPHNE, MY FIANCEE.

- HELLO. - PLEASURE.

YEAH, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I'D WANT TO DO EVERY DAY--

MEDICAL TREATMENT, BUT YOU KNOW,

IT'S ALSO SOMETHING NOT TO BE AFRAID OF IF...

EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. THERE'S THE ASSASSIN!

THERE'S THE MURDERING CUTTHROAT WHO TREATED ME, HUH?

AND THE PRISON TORTURER FROM THE ABU GHRAIB PRISON.

- Dr. Smith: ANY CHANGES? - OH, WELL...

IT'S ACHY.

YOU KNOW, THROBS, SOMEWHAT-- SOMEWHAT.

LITTLE BIT-- IT'S FINE.

IT'S GOOD.

PHYSICIAN.

OH, WE SHOULD BRING HIS MOTHER AND YOUR MOTHER HERE

SO THEY COULD BOTH SHEP NACHAS.

DO MY CAST THE FIRST HONOR, PLEASE?

OW.

( laughs )

THAT'S FUNNY. IT'S VERY GOOD. RIGHT.

I PLAYED MY SAXOPHONE BEFORE.

OH, JEEZ. YOU ALL DONE? DID YOU PACK IT BACK UP?

MAYBE.

SO...

SO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE HERE A WHILE?

I'M NOT SURE.

SHOULD WE MAKE ONE FOR MY GRAM?

SURE.

HOT DOGS, HAMBURGERS, POTATO CHIPS.

HOT DOGS, HAMBURGERS. SECONDS WILL BE AVAILABLE.

WHO'S HUNGRY?

IF MY WORDS ARE YOURS, CAN YOU HEAR MY FATHER?

CAN BILL KNOW MY FATHER, KEEPING HIS EYE ON ME?

CAN I BONE KAI, AND BUTCHIE KNOW MY FATHER INSTEAD?

( coughs )

MY FATHER'S SHY DOING HIS BUSINESS.

KAI HELPS MY FATHER DUMP OUT.

BILL TAKES A SHOT.

SHAUNIE IS MUCH IMPROVED.

JOE IS A DOUBTING THOMAS.

JOE WILL SAVE NOT ALEMAN.

JOE WILL BRING HIS BUDDIES HOME.

THIS IS HOW FREDDY RELAXES--

CUP OF JOE AND WINCHELL'S VARIETY DOZEN.

MITCH CATCHES A GOOD WAVE.

MITCH WIPES OUT. MITCH WIPES OUT CISSY.

CISSY SHOWS BUTCHIE HOW TO DO THAT.

CISSY WIPES BUTCHIE OUT.

BUTCHIE HURTS BARRY'S HEAD.

MR. ROLLINS COMES IN BARRY'S FACE.

MY FATHER RUNS THE MEGA MILLIONS.

( door opens )

BOY WE GOT SOME-- WE GOT SOME INTERESTING FOOTAGE, JOHN.

YEAH, REALLY GOT SOME GREAT IDEAS ON WHAT WE COULD DO WITH THAT.

- REALLY... - I NEED YOUR CAMERA, CASS.

IT'S SAFE IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR, JOHN.

TIME TO GET BACK IN THE GAME, LINC STARK.

( engine starts )

John: FUR IS BIG, MUD IS BIG,

THE STICK IS BIG.

THE WORD IS BIG.

FIRE IS HUGE.

THE WHEEL IS HUGE.

THE LINE AND CIRCLE ARE BIG.

ON THE WALL, THE LINE AND CIRCLE ARE HUGE.

ON THE WALL, THE MAN AT THE WALL MAKES A MAN,

FROM THE CIRCLE AND LINE.

THE MAN AT THE WALL MAKES A WORD ON THE WALL

FROM THE CIRCLE AND LINE.

THE WORD ON THE WALL HEARS MY FATHER.

THE ZEROS AND ONES MAKE THE WORD IN CASS'S CAMERA.

IN THE WORD ON THE WALL THAT HEARS MY FATHER IN CASS'S CAMERA,

THE GOOD ONE MITCH CATCHES DOESN'T WIPE CISSY OUT.

IN THE WORD THAT HEARS MY FATHER,

CISSY SHOWS BUTCHIE SOMETHING ELSE.

IN MY FATHER'S WORD, CISSY SHOWS BUTCHIE AND SHAUN.

IN MY FATHER'S WORD,

TINA RAISES SHAUN AT LUNCH.

IN CASS'S CAMERA,

BUTCHIE LAYS THE CORD OUT FOR BARRY AND MR. ROLLINS WATCHES,

AND HE DOESN'T COME ON BARRY'S FACE.

IN CASS'S CAMERA, BUTCHIE KNOWS KAI HAS KEPT THE FAITH.

IN MY FATHER'S WORD,

THE WAVE LIFTS THEM UP.

( yawning )

I THINK YOU OVERCAME A MILESTONE IN STRIDE.

NEXT THING, IT'S FOUR HOURS LATER, YOU'VE BEEN NAPPING

FROM UNRECOGNIZED STRESS.

John: IN CASS'S CAMERA,

BILL DOESN'T BUMP HIS HEAD ON THE STAIRS.

I CANNOT DO THIS.

I CANNOT DO THIS.

I AM SKATING ON VERY THIN ICE.

IN CASS'S CAMERA, AS LONG AS HE'S BEING STUPID,

BILL GIVES LOIS A KISS.

( blows saxophone )

( harmonica blaring )

IN HIS WORD, IN CASS'S CAMERA,

THE INTERNET IS BIG.

9-11 IS BIG, BUT NOT EVERY TOWELHEAD IS ERADICATED.

IN HIS WORD, WE ARE COMING 9-11-14!

IN MY FATHER'S WORD,

BILL SEES HOW FREDDY RELAXES.

( saxophone playing )

IN CASS'S CAMERA, RAMON WANTS TO KNOW WHO'S HUNGRY,

IN THE COURTYARD AND ROOM 45.

IN MY FATHER'S WORD TO COME IN CASS'S CAMERA,

DR. SMITH CALLS OCEAN PROPERTIES.

IN CASS'S CAMERA TO COME,

MY FATHER STARES NOT ALEMAN DOWN,

AND FREDDY SEES BILL MUCH IMPROVED.

YOU WILL NOT NOTE MY FATHER'S WORD,

NOR REMEMBER CASS'S CAMERA,

BUT YOU WILL NOT FORGET WHAT WE DID HERE.

( low booming )

( footsteps )

YOU'RE EVEN UGLIER THAN ABRAHAM LINCOLN!

WHICH HAPPENS HE'S GOT THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS MINE!

FEBRUARY 12TH, 1964.

YEAH.

100 YEARS AFTER HIS MURDER.

BOTH OF US.

WE SHOULD MAKE THESE COOK-OUTS A FIXTURE.

WANNA GO LOOK FOR THE SPACE COMMANDER?

HIT THE FLOOR, TROOPERS!

JUDAS PRIEST! THE FUCKING SUN'S GONE DOWN.

THE SUN DOES NOT GO DOWN, BILL.

GENIUS ON SCIENCE, TOO.

MY FATHER IS A GENIUS ON SCIENCE. THE SUN DOES NOT GO DOWN.

YOU WON'T GET AN ARGUMENT FROM ME.

JUDAS PRIEST IS A GENIUS ON SCIENCE.

JUDAS PRIEST IS MY FATHER'S SON TOO.

I SWEAR TO CHRIST, I'VE BEEN PLAYING MY HARP.

BILL WON'T NOTE NOR LONG REMEMBER PLAYING HIS FUCKING HARP, JOE.

ISN'T THAT THE STRANGEST THING?

MY FATHER'S BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME AS MINE.

WELL.

THIS WAS TIME WELL SPENT.

( starts engine )

( jazz music playing )