All language subtitles for John from Cincinnati s01e01_English

( theme music playing )

THE END IS NEAR.

AMEN, MY BROTHER.

THOSE ILLEGALS ACT LIKE
IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY

AT THE BEACH.

YOU KNOW MITCH YOST?

MITCH YOST SHOULD
GET BACK IN THE GAME.

COUPLE OF FUN ONES,
EH, MITCH?

YOU SHOULD GET BACK
IN THE GAME, MITCH YOST.

YOU SHOULD MIND
YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

IN CASE
YOU'RE NOT CRAZY,

I GO BACK 20 YEARS
WITH THIS FAMILY.

THE DEAL WITH THE KID
IS IN THE WORKS,
SO STAY AWAY,

OR WHOEVER'S PAYING YOU
BETTER HAVE YOU ON A
GOOD HEALTH PLAN.

SAMMY, SAMMY,

- TELL SHAUN HE NEEDS
TO STOP BY THE SHOP.
- OKAY.

DON'T FORGET.
GIVE YOU A FREE
BAR OF WAX.

I GOT NOTHING TO DO
WITH THAT SPACE CADET
BACK THERE.

I WOULD NEVER DISRESPECT
YOUR RETIREMENT.

GOD DAMN IT!

A SYRINGE.
MAYBE IT'S ONE
OF BUTCHIE'S.

WHAT'S HAPPENED WITH BUTCHIE
IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST
REGRETS OF MY LIFE.

YEAH, WELL, NOW HE'S
PROVEN TO THE WORLD
HE CAN FUCK UP

JUST FINE
WITHOUT A SPONSOR.

AM I GONNA SEE YOU
AT HUNTINGTON THIS
AFTERNOON?

WHY WOULD YOU SEE ME
AT HUNTINGTON?

NOBODY'S SEEN ME THERE
IN 20 YEARS.

YOUR GRANDSON'S BREAKING
HIS CHERRY. I JUST
ASSUMED YOU KNEW.

WELL, I DIDN'T.
AND IF IT'S FOR
A COMPETITION,

DON'T ASSUME
YOU'RE GONNA SEE HIM.
AND FOR SURE DON'T EXPECT

TO GET YOUR FANGS
IN HIS NECK LIKE YOU
DID IN BUTCHIE'S.

HE SENT THIS TO ME.

"SPONSOR ME."

FUCKING BUTCHIE WANTS
TO GET SHAUN SIGNED?

- SHAUN SENT IT.
- JESUS CHRIST-- WHAT?

HE'S 13, MITCH.

YEAH, YOU SIGN
EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS.

LOOK, THIS IS
GONNA HAPPEN.

HE WANTS TO GET SIGNED,
AND HE'S THE REAL DEAL,

AND HE'S A YOST.

TRUST THE DEVIL
YOU KNOW, MITCH.

SO FAST AFTER
NOTHING SO LONG.

I KNOW THE WMD FIASCO
IN IRAQ IS FRESH

IN BOTH OUR
MEMORIES, RAMON.

THERE WERE NONE.

AND I MAY BE AS WRONG
IN MY INTELLIGENCE
ESTIMATE AS THE CIA,

BUT THE MAN WHO JUST
PURCHASED THIS MOTEL

DOESN'T STRIKE ME
AS THE MOST PLEASANT
PERSON.

Man: MOTHERFUCKER!

BUTCHIE PROBABLY
BETTER SPLIT.

CERTAINLY HE CAN'T STAY
ON THE PRESENT TERMS.

- AS A DEADBEAT.
- SAY HE PAID YOU $200.

LIKE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

WE CAN TELL THE NEW OWNER
YOU JUST DISCOVERED
BUTCHIE SQUATTING.

WHAT ABOUT THE SIX MONTHS'
WORTH OF GARBAGE
IN HIS ROOM?

BUTCHIE YOST REVOLUTIONIZED
SURFING, RAMON.

HE CHANGED THE ENTIRE
IDEA OF IT.

THIS PLACE WAS SUPPOSED
TO STAY VACANT,

AND I THINK
YOU'RE A LITTLE OLD
FOR HERO WORSHIP.

- LADIES.
- BUTCHIE, A MOMENT.

WAS THE BRIGADE
OUT TODAY?

WE WERE, YES--
THE ASSOCIATION
OF SURFING ATTORNEYS.

BUTCHIE, THE MOTEL
JUST SOLD. IT'S OUT
OF RECEIVERSHIP.

I HAVE TO TAKE
A HORRENDOUS DUMP, RAMON,
AND AFTER THAT,

I WANNA HEAR
EVERY FUCKING DETAIL.

THIS IS VERY
IMPORTANT, BUTCHIE.

CAN I SHOW YOU
SOMETHING?

I SETTLED YOST'S INJURY
CLAIM WITH THE CITY
YESTERDAY, RAMON.

WHEN HE PASSED OUT
UNDER THE BEACH SWEEPER?

- HE GOT $2,300.
- YESTERDAY.

IF THAT'S ALREADY GONE,
I'M GOOD FOR THE $200.

I'M GONNA GET THE TRUCK.
YOU PUT THESE ON,

AND WE NEATEN UP
FOR THE NEW OWNER.

WE DO THIS FAST.
I'LL BE BACK.

( sighs )

Man:
HEY, FRAT BOY.

DROVE DOWN TO T.J.
TO SEE THE DONKEY SHOW,
DID YOU?

SOME DICKHEAD
SPIKE YOUR DRINK?

50 BUCKS,
I DROP YOU ANYWHERE

WITHIN IMPERIAL BEACH.

TURN OUT YOUR POCKETS.

TURN OUR YOUR POCKETS.

$50 ON THE NOSE.

LET'S GO BEFORE
THE MIGRA JUMPS OUR SHIT.

GOD DAMN TACO BENDERS
JUST RAN PAST ME LIKE I
WAS HOMELAND SECURITY.

TOO GODDAMN IGNORANT
TO REALIZE WHO WANTS
TO HELP THEM.

SOME THINGS I KNOW,
AND SOME THINGS I DON'T.

SPARE ME THE BABE-
IN-THE-WOODS ROUTINE.

YOU JUST PAID TO SEE
A DONKEY FUCK A WOMAN.

NO, I'M DISAPPOINTED,
FREDDIE, OUT HERE
IN CALIFORNIA.

I'M OUT THE $2,300.
I GOT BEAT ON THE BUY.

FREDDIE, I CANNOT
MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE
THAT THAT GLAND CASE

AND HIS FUCKING
ICE-CREAM TRUCK

HAD THE BALLS
TO FUCKING SCREW ME
ON AN OUNCE

WITHOUT YOUR FUCKING
SAY-SO.

YOUNG MR. YOST.

BUTCHIE'S SON.

HE SHREDS.

BUTCHIE'S PARENTS
HAVE CUSTODY.

PROBATION SITUATION.
I TOOK CARE OF IT.

GOD DAMN IT!
I'LL COME BACK
AT YOU, FREDDIE.

IT'S NOT LIKE
I GOT TOO MUCH DOWNSIDE.

ALL RIGHT, AND YOU BETTER
MAKE IT FUCKING RIGHT.

- I'M NOT DONE
WITH MY DUMP YET, RAMON.
- IT'S ME, DAD.

HEY, SHAUNIE.

HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY?
COME ON IN.

SORRY ABOUT
THE FUCKING MESS.

THE 'GROM THAT I PAID
TO CLEAN UP GOT HIT
BY A FUCKING VAN.

- HOW LONG AGO?
- YEAH...

I GOTTA GET
A REPLACEMENT, HUH?

- WHAT'S GOING ON?
HOW'S SIXTH GRADE?
- IT WAS GOOD.

YEAH? YOU WANT
SOMETHING TO DRINK?

TAP WATER AIN'T FATAL.

I'M SUPPOSED TO SURF
THE EVENT AT HUNTINGTON
THIS AFTERNOON.

YOUR GRANDFATHER
SIGN OFF ON THAT?

GRAM DID.

THAT SOUNDS
MORE LIKE IT.

- THINK YOU MIGHT WANT
TO GO?
- NO, FUCK,

NOT IF YOU WANT THEM
TO LET YOU ON THE WATER.

- I'M FUCKING BARRED
UP THERE, BUDDY.
- FROM WATCHING, TOO?

WHAT THE FUCK DO I
WANNA GO UP THERE
FOR, SHAUNIE, OKAY?

THOSE THINGS
ARE FUCKING BULLSHIT.

OKAY.

NOT FOR YOU.

OKAY, YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
IF YOU WANT TO.

OKAY.

IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T
GIVE A FUCK, OKAY?

WHEN DID I EVER TELL YOU
NOT TO DO SOMETHING,

- IS ALL I'M TRYING
TO SAY, OKAY?
- OKAY.

EVERYONE SAYS YOU'RE GREAT.
YOU'LL PROBABLY FUCKING WIN
THE THING AND GET SPONSORED

- AND ALL THAT SHIT.
- ANYWAYS.

JUST DON'T PULL
YOUR LEFT NUT OUT.

LIKE YOU DID
YOUR LAST EVENT?

YEAH, IT TENDS
TO GET YOU D.Q.ed.

HOW'S IT GOING?

( imitating gunfire )

BUTCHIE WASN'T THAT
GOOD WHEN HE WAS 13.
WERE YOU?

DID YOU TAKE
THAT FOOTAGE?

SOME. SOME SHAUNIE
COLLECTED FROM HIS FRIENDS.

- HE PUT IT TOGETHER.
- BUT YOU SENT IT TO LINC.

I SENT ONE TO EVERYONE
SHAUN THOUGHT MIGHT WANT
TO SPONSOR HIM.

INCLUDING THE BASTARD
WHO HELPED TURN BUTCHIE

INTO THE DITCH-SLEEPING
DOPER SHITBIRD HE IS TODAY.

SHAUN DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE BUTCHIE.

YEAH, BUT YOU'RE STILL YOU,
AREN'T YOU, CISSY? YOU ENTERED
SHAUN IN THE CONTEST TODAY.

HE ENTERED.
I SIGNED THE FORM
AS GUARDIAN.

- HI, GRAM, GRAMPS.
- Both: HEY.

SAMMY SAID YOU WANTED ME
TO STOP BY.

- HOW'D THAT BOARD FEEL?
- Shaun: IT WAS GOOD.

NOT TOO STIFF?

WE'RE WORRIED
ABOUT THOSE RAILS.

- HEY, SHAUN.
- HI, KAI.

MORNING.

GO IN THE BACK.

- GO IN THE BACK.
- COME ON, LET'S GO
IN THE BACK, SHAUN.

I GUESS I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE THERE BY 11:00.

YOU ARE NOT TAKING HIM UP
TO THAT CONTEST TODAY.

AND ANY PERMISSIONS
YOU'VE SIGNED,

I'LL DRIVE UP THERE AND
I'LL RESCIND. I'LL RIP
UP THE WAIVERS.

I'LL BURY ANY MONEY-BITCH

WOULD-BE SPONSOR
IN A PIT

STARTING WITH
LINC-FUCKING-STARK.

WHAT HAPPENED TO BUTCHIE
IS NOT HAPPENING TO SHAUN.

I UNDERSTAND.
THE KAHUNA HAS SPOKEN.

AND I GOT
FUCKING CANCER.

RIGHT HERE IN MY BRAIN.

( coughs )

( coughs )

GET TO BILL'S HOUSE, SHAUNIE.
TELL BILL I HOPED HE WOULD
DRIVE YOU TO YOUR EVENT.

- COULD YOU CALL HIM?
- YOU KNOW HOW HE IS
ABOUT THE PHONE.

HERE'S YOUR ACCIDENT
LIABILITY WAIVER.

I ALREADY MAILED
IN YOUR ENTRY AND YOUR FEE.

DON'T SHOW IT TO BILL
UNTIL YOU GET TO THE EVENT.

OTHERWISE, HE'LL BE WORRIED
ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY UP.

SHOW IT TO HIM
WHEN YOU GET TO HUNTINGTON,

WHEN YOU'RE WALKING
TO THE REGISTRATION TABLE.

BUT THEN YOU WATCH HIM
GIVE IT TO THEM.

OKAY, GRAM.

'CAUSE THEY HAVE TO
GET IT FROM AN ADULT.

OKAY.

THEN YOU PUT YOUR
JERSEY ON,

AND YOU PADDLE OUT
AND YOU KICK SOME ASS.

YOU COMFY COZY,
SWEAT PEA?

SLIP YOU A MICKEY
AND THEN FORGET
TO ROLL YOU--

TYPICAL BEANER
BEHAVIOR.

SOME THING I KNOW,
AND SOME THINGS I DON'T.

TELL ME SOMETHING
YOU KNOW.

THE END IS NEAR.

( scoffs )

FEEL THAT WAY
HALF THE TIME MYSELF.

MITCH YOST SHOULD
GET BACK IN THE GAME.

I DON'T KNOW
MITCH YOST.

I SHOULD HAVE A GOOD
HEALTH PLAN, I SEE
MITCH YOST AGAIN.

BUTCHIE YOST I KNOW.

FLOPS IN THAT SHITHOUSE
ON 7th.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SOME THINGS I KNOW,
AND SOME THINGS I DON'T.

I'LL DROP YOU
AT BUTCHIE'S.

HE MAY KNOW
WHERE MITCH IS.

GET YOU YOUR
HEALTH COVERAGE.

THEN I'M GONNA ROLL
A FUCKING FAT ONE.

( Spanish television )

HOW'S IT GOING, BILL?

HOW ARE YOU?

THEY'RE RUNNING
THE MEXICAN WRESTLING.

I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING:
THEY'RE OVEREXPOSING
THESE MASKED MIDGETS.

( birds chirping )

GRAMS ASKED ME TO ASK
YOU IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND
DRIVING ME TODAY.

NO NO NO,
NOT AT ALL.

DON'T TELL GRAMPS
ABOUT ANY OF IT,
OKAY, BILL?

YOU KNOW, MY NECK
IS KILLING ME.

YOUR FIBROMYALGIA?

YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?

'CAUSE THAT'S A WRITTEN
DIAGNOSIS BY A V.A. PHYSICIAN.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ZIPPY?

OH MY GOD.

- IS ZIPPY DEAD?
- IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THIS HAPPENS.

THIS IS SOMETHING
YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT.

ZIPPY WAS A GOOD BIRD.

( sobbing )

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S CORRECT.

WHEN YOU'RE OLDER
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

- SHOULD WE BURY HIM?
- THAT'S NOT FOR YOU.

YOU'LL HAVE MORE
THAN ONE OCCASION LATER.

I GOT TWINKIES AROUND.
YOU WANT A TWINKIE?

I CAN HELP, BILL.
LET ME HELP.

YOU DON'T HOLD ON
TO A BIRD ONCE IT'S
PASSED.

THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT YOU LEARN.

- ( squawks )
- JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH.

HE'S ALIVE!

WELL, THIS IS...
THIS IS SOMETHING.

ZIP, WE THOUGHT
YOU CROAKED.

GIMME A KISS...
( kisses )

GIVE THE KID
A KISS TOO,

AS LONG AS
YOU'RE BEING STUPID.

HEY, ZIPPY.

I'LL TELL YA,
I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE IF
I'M ON FOOT OR HORSEBACK

OR IF A BIRD'S ALIVE
OR DEAD.

- HE WAS DEAD, BILL.
- OBVIOUSLY, HE WASN'T.

WHEN YOU'RE OLDER,
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

I SAW HIM.

I'M LOSING MY TRAIN
OF THOUGHT LATELY.

EVERYTHING ELSE

YOU'LL UNDERSTAND MORE
FULLY WHEN YOU'RE GROWN.

THAT IS SICK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WANT TO GET FIBROMYALGIA?

IT'S COOL.

CHRIST,
MOKE ORDERED A FISH.

YOU KIDDING ME?
HE'S GONNA SINK
THAT FRIGGIN' THING.

WHY DOES WHAT HAPPENED
TO BUTCHIE MAKE IT FUCKED UP

TO HELP SHAUNIE DO
WHAT ANY 13-YEAR-OLD
WOULD WANT TO?

HE FUCKING FORBIDS ME
TO LET SHAUNIE COMPETE.

I'M NOT MITCH'S WIFE,
CISSY.

ALL THE TIME
YOU SPEND WITH SHAUN...

YOU KNOW BUTCHIE
BETTER THAN ANYBODY.

OR SHAUN'S GUARDIAN
OR BUTCHIE'S MOTHER.

AND HE TELLS ME
HE'S GOT A BRAIN TUMOR.

MITCH HAS GOT
A BRAIN TUMOR?

WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HIM,
EITHER, FUCKING JERK.

Man:
It beeped.
Leave a message...

- ( beep )
- YEAH, I KNOW WHAT
TO DO AT THE BEEP.

HERE'S YOUR
FUCKING MESSAGE, FREDDIE:

IN ONE MORE FUCKING HOUR
SOMEONE HASN'T SHOWN UP
TO GET ME RIGHT,

YOU GET HIT IN HAWAII
BY A LAW ENFORCEMENT TSUNAMI

AND YOUR FUCKING
ICE-CREAM MAN GOES
OVER A CLIFF

IN HIS FUCKING TRUCK!

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT
A FULL LOAD.

YOU'RE REALLY GOOD
AT THIS.

I HAVE OFFICE BUSINESS,
RAMON.

HAVE TO GO HOME
AND WASH UP

BEFORE I CONDUCT IT.

THE NEW OWNER TAKES
POSSESSION AT 3:00.

MR. CUNNINGHAM.
I'LL BE BACK THEN.

DON'T FORGET:
BRING THE $200 WITH YOU.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE
WHO HAS TO CHANGE
HIS WAYS.

VIETNAM JOE.

THE SNUG HARBOR'S
CLOSED AS A STOP ON HIS
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD.

THAT GUY DOESN'T FIT
JOE'S PROFILE.

THE THREE STOOGES.

I COULD EAT A BOWL
OF SOUP OFF THE TOP

OF EITHER OF YOUR HEADS.

WHICH ROOM IN THE PALACE
IS BUTCHIE YOST'S?

IF HE WAS HERE,

HE'D BE IN F.

OKAY, YOU GO OVER THERE,

YOU KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

SHOW ME. YEAH.

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

RAMON WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU, JOE.

TRY TO KEEP THAT SHORT.

- ( knock on door )
- WHAT DO YOU WANT,
BUTCHIE YOST?

I WANNA SEE SOME DOPE
COME OUT OF YOUR POCKETS,
OR MY $2,300.

HERE I AM,

EYES TO SEE
THE SUNSET LOADED,

AND JUST FLEW OFF
THE HANDLE WITH YOUR PEOPLE.
WHAT A FUCKING JERK.

LET'S GO CALL
THE ICE-CREAM MAN
AND TELL HIM I'M SORRY.

I'M COMING IN, MITCH.

THE GRAND POOBAH'S
INNER SANCTUM.

HOLY FATHER, GREAT TAO,

FUCKING DALAI LAMA.

WHY WOULD YOU THINK
YOU'VE GOT BRAIN CANCER?

I'M HALLUCINATING.

YOU BEEN GETTING HIGH?

NO, IT WASN'T A HALLUCINATION.
IT'S NOT LIKE ACID.

YOU JUST SAID
YOU WERE HALLUCINATING.

- I USED THE WRONG WORD.
- WHAT'S THE RIGHT WORD,

YOUR SINUSES ARE PLUGGED?
'CAUSE THAT DOES POINT
STRAIGHT

AT BRAIN CANCER.

IN THE LOT,

AFTER I SURFED, I...

I WAS UP IN THE AIR,
IS HOW IT FELT.

HALF THE TIME WITH EAR
INFECTIONS I GET DIZZY
LIKE THAT.

- GO TO SEE A DOCTOR.
- IF I'VE GOT A TUMOR,

I DON'T WANT THEIR MACHINES
GETTING AHOLD OF ME.

( kicks )

WELCOME TO THE REST
OF OUR FUCKING LIVES!

YOU SURF WHEN
NO ONE CAN SEE YOU,
ME ESPECIALLY.

REST OF THE DAY YOU'RE
IN YOUR CLUBHOUSE.

NEXT WEEK OR NEXT YEAR
WE GET THE CALL:

BUTCHIE'S DEAD
IN SOME FUCKING DUMPSTER.

BUT THE BREAKING NEWS
TODAY:

SHAUN DOESN'T GET OUT
EITHER,

'CAUSE BIG MITCH
FUCKING FORBIDS IT.

BECAUSE 20 YEARS AGO

HIS KNEE GOT A BOO-BOO.

A BOO-BOO THEY
NEARLY AMPUTATED.

SUPPOSE YOU DO
HAVE A TUMOR.

SUPPOSE YOU'RE
FUCKING DYING.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA
KILL THE TIME

BEFORE YOU CHECK OUT?

WHAT ABOUT THE HEALING
POWER OF SEX?

- RIGHT.
- ( closes phone )

YOU GIVE ME $2,300

AND THE ICE-CREAM MAN
SAYS HE DOESN'T KNOW YOU.

EMPTY YOUR POCKETS,
BRO, SO WE DON'T START
NOT GETTING ALONG.

ALL RIGHT, SHOW ME
SOMETHING WITH YOUR
NAME ON IT.

THESE FUCKING PLATINUM
CARDS GOT THAT ROCKET FUEL

DON'T THEY, JOHN?
VROOM VROOM.

- VROOM.
- WHAT WERE YOU
UP TO, JOHN,

JUST BEFORE YOU CAME
TO SEE ME?

WHAT THERE A LITTLE BIT
OF THE... ( inhales )

WACKY TABACKY
INVOLVED?

- DOES THAT BEGIN
TO RING A BELL?
- DOES IT RING A BELL?

WHERE I'M GOING, JOHN,
IS ARE YOU FUCKED UP
AT THE PRESENT MOMENT?

SPEED, FREON,
TIRE SEALER,

- THE LITTLE GREEN CHUNKS
FROM THE CAT LITTER?
- DOESN'T RING A BELL.

WHO I AM RINGS A BELL,
RIGHT, JOHN? YOU KNOW
I'M BUTCHIE YOST.

BUTCHIE YOST
RINGS A BELL.

ALL RIGHT, JOHN,
WE'LL WORK WITH
WHAT WE GOT.

NOW MY CONCLUSION,
NOT CONFUSING MYSELF
WITH SHERLOCK HOLMES,

IS A: YOU'RE
A LITTLE SHY;

B: YOU JUST BROKE
YOUR PIGGY BANK

OR YOU HAVE A FEW DOLLARS
IN THE FAMILY;

AND C:
YOU'RE HERE

TO SURF WITH THE BEAST.

I AM HERE TO SURF
WITH THE BEAST.

BUTCHIE "THE BEAST" YOST--
BRINGING HIM OUT
OF SEMIRETIREMENT.

BRING BUTCHIE OUT
OF SEMIRETIREMENT.

LEARN FROM THE BEST,
FUCK THE REST.

- THAT COSTS TOP DOLLAR.
- TOP DOLLAR RINGS A BELL.

IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME,
JOHN, THAT WORRIED PARENTS
WERE PART OF THE STORY.

HOW ABOUT WORRIED DOCTORS?

WORRIED DOCTORS AREN'T
A PART OF THE STORY.

- OR WORRIED PARENTS.
- WORRIED PARENTS
DON'T RING A BELL, BUTCHIE.

OF COURSE, PARTS OF MY STORY
YOU DON'T KNOW EITHER,
RIGHT, JOHN?

I'M NO OPEN BOOK TO YOU,

WHATEVER BULLSHIT YOU READ
IN THOSE FUCKING MAGAZINES.

HERE'S WHAT WE'RE
GONNA DO:

WE'RE GONNA TAKE EACH OTHER
AT FACE VALUE, JOHN,

AND GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER BETTER
AS WE GO ALONG.

NOW MONEY'S GONNA HAVE TO
CHANGE HANDS BETWEEN US,
JOHN.

YOU'RE GONNA BE SPENDING
SOME OF THAT CASH.
YOU GOT EXPENSES, FEES.

I NEED TO KNOW THAT
YOU'RE DOWN FOR THAT.

I'M DOWN FOR THAT.

LET ME HEAR IT, JOHN--
HOW BIG YOU ARE FUCKING
DOWN FOR IT.

HEAR IT BIG, BUTCHIE.

JOHN AND HIS CASH
AND HIS PLASTIC
ARE DOWN

- WITH BUTCHIE THE BEAST!
- I'M DOWN!

DON'T DO THAT, JOHN.

OKAY, LET'S PICK UP
OUR CREDIT CARD,

AND LET'S BE ADULT
AROUND OUR POSSESSIONS.

WAS SHAUN
REALLY DISAPPOINTED

WHEN YOU TOLD HIM
HE COULDN'T GO?

HE NEVER SHOWS
WHAT HE'S FEELING.

YEAH, HE PLAYS IT
PRETTY CLOSE TO THE VEST.

I THINK THAT'S GOOD.

MAYBE WE SHOULD
GET A CAMERA.

JUST TO SHOW IT'S NOT,
IF I FEEL IT HAPPENING AGAIN,

GOING UP IN THE AIR.

I GET IT.

I'LL PICK YOU
UP ONE AT JENCO.

I HOPE YOU'RE DOODLING,
'CAUSE WE KNOW YOU
CAN'T WRITE.

URGENT CARE'S
DOWN THE STREET.

- SAY HI TO JOHN, KAI.
- HI, JOHN.

- HI, KAI.
- MY STUDENT AND MAIN MAN.

WE WANT AN OUTFIT,
NOSE TO TAIL.

FULL-GODDAMN-POP
ON EVERY WETSUIT
AND SURFBOARD

- WE FUCKING-A DECIDE
TO BUY, RIGHT, JOHN?
- FUCKING-A, RIGHT.

FULL FUCKING QUIVER.
SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE BOARD
SHAPED BY THE LITTLE LADY HERE,

MEANING SHE WILL BENEFIT
FROM THAT ROCKET PROPELLANT

IN YOUR FUCKING
PLATINUM CARD.

MAYBE HE JUST WANTS
TO START WITH ONE.

HEY, CHECK OUT
THOSE BOARDS, JOHN.

EXAMINE 'EM CLOSELY
WHILE KAI AND ME
HAVE A TALK.

EVERY SURFER
NEEDS A BACKUP--
DOS MINIMUM.

DOS MINIMUM.

WOULDN'T THIS BE
A DAY TO WRITE HOME ABOUT

IF I WASN'T HOMELESS
AND DISOWNED?

I FINALLY GET THAT
INJURY SETTLEMENT,
AND I INVEST IN A LID,

AND THAT FUCKING SAMOAN
SELLS ME QUININE.

TOO BAD YOU DON'T
GOT MALARIA.

WHAT THE FUCK IS
THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

- WHERE'D YOU COME UP
WITH HIM?
- HE CAME UP WITH ME.

HE KNOCKED
ON MY FUCKING DOOR.

JOHN MONAD.

SOUNDS FRENCH.

WHAT, THE DRAGON LADY
CALL IN SICK?
'CAUSE SHE ISN'T.

SHE'S TAKING FUCKING
SHAUNIE TO HUNTINGTON.

IS THAT RIGHT?

OR MAYBE YOU
ALREADY KNEW.

SHAUN WANTED
TO ENTER, BUTCHIE.

HE'S BEEN WORKING
ON A "SPONSOR ME"
VIDEO FOR MONTHS.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
ENTER HIM IN A JERK OFF
COMPETITION

BECAUSE HE'S BEEN
WORKING HIS JOHNSON
IN THE BATHROOM?

- I DIDN'T ENTER HIM.
- YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
WHEN I WALKED IN HERE.

- IT'S YOUR FAMILY.
- SHE SIGNS YOUR PAYCHECK.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SHAUN
IN SIX MONTHS, BUTCHIE.

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE,
KAI, HOW MUCH TIME HIM
AND ME SPEND TOGETHER.

YEAH, RIGHT.
HE'S A LIAR.

HEY, FUCK YOU, KAI.

I TRY TO THROW YOU
SOME FUCKING BUSINESS, AND
YOU PUT MY BALLS IN A VICE?

I DON'T NEED YOU
TO THROW ME
ANY BUSINESS.

OKAY, SORRY TO FUCKING
BOTHER YOU.

GIVE MY LOVE
TO MY MOM.

- COME ON, JOHN.
- BYE, KAI.

WHO DOES SHE THINK
SHE FUCKING IS?

SHE'S KAI, BUTCHIE.

I SIGNED OVER CUSTODY
SO I WOULDN'T LOUSE
THAT KID UP.

PLUS I HAD TO
TO GET FUCKING PROBATION.

WHERE IS MY
FUCKING PHONE?

SOME THINGS I KNOW,
AND SOME THINGS I DON'T.

I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU HAVE A PHONE,
JOHN, DO YOU?

- SOME THINGS I KNOW,
AND SOME THINGS I DON'T.
- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

EVERY TIME YOU WANNA SAY,
"SOME THINGS I KNOW,
AND SOME THINGS I DON'T,"

JUST SAY,
"I DON'T KNOW,
BUTCHIE," INSTEAD.

I DON'T KNOW,
BUTCHIE, INSTEAD.

I WANNA SEE WHERE
MY FUCKING OLD MAN IS

IN ALL THIS SHIT.
WHERE'S MITCH "THE HOLY
MAN" YOST?

- ( rings )
- I LIKE KAI.

YEAH, YOU WOULD, JOHN.

YOU PROBABLY CAN FUCKING
BONE HER IF YOU TRY
HARD ENOUGH.

- I'LL BONE HER.
- YEAH.

MIGHT WANT TO HAVE TO
BUST HER JAW FIRST SO
SHE'D SHUT THE FUCK UP.

- ( phone rings )
- HELLO.

CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING
A FUCKING GUTLESS CUNT.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

IT MEANS YOU'RE A SELFISH
FUCKING COCKSUCKER,
THAT'S WHAT.

WHAT, YOU TIRED OF NO ONE'S
ASKING YOU, SO YOU GO AHEAD
AND OKAY FOR HIM?

MAYBE YOU WANNA
TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

SHAUN IN HUNTINGTON.

HE'S NOT GOING.

He's there then
with you.

WHAT'S THAT, DAD?
I CAN'T HEAR.

WELL, I'VE FORBIDDEN IT.
YOUR MOTHER WILL SEE
HE DOESN'T GO.

Mother? Did you
say Mother will see?

THAT'S A GOOD ONE, POP.
'CAUSE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU:

MOTHER WILL SEE TO IT
THAT HE DOES GO,

AND THEN YOU WON'T HAVE
A FUCKING CLUE UNTIL
THE DEAL IS DONE.

BUT THAT'S GONNA BE OKAY
WITH YOU, ISN'T IT?

MOTHER DOES THE DIRTY
SPADEWORK,

WHILE FUCKING SHAUN WINS
A FEW DIRTY COMPETITIONS

AND MORE DIRTY MONEY
STARTS FLOWING INTO
MITCH'S FUCKING ASHRAM.

Yeah, don't forget
the dirty needles, Butchie.

How about that other
dirty business you're not in?

Of being a fucking father
to your son.

So your mother and I
had to wind up taking
legal custody.

I OUGHTA DRIVE DOWN
TO THAT SHITBOX
YOU LIVE IN

- AND KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!
- YOU COULD FUCKING TRY, DAD.

I'M ON MY WAY, SON.

DON'T FORGET TO LUBE UP
YOUR BONE-ON-BONE KNEE,
YOU FUCKING GOAT!

DON'T FORGET
TO SHOOT UP SOME COURAGE!

FUCK YOU!

WHAT A DICK!

I THINK HE'S
ACTUALLY GONNA COME.

GOD DAMN,
I GOTTA GET HIGH.

I GOTTA GET GOOD
AND FUCKING HIGH

SO I COULD KICK
THAT COCKSUCKER'S
FUCKING ASS.

FUCKING HIGH,
I GOTTA GET HIGH.

I GOTTA GET HIGH, MAN.

ARE YOU FROM SOMEPLACE
COLD, JOHN?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUTCHIE, INSTEAD.

I BET IF YOU'RE FROM
SOMEPLACE COLD, JOHN,

THAT YOUR MOM
CLIPPED YOUR MITTENS
TO YOUR FUCKING COAT.

YOU WANT TO MEET
A HAPPY FAMILY,

WATCH A SATURDAY
MORNING CARTOONS, JOHN.
MEET THE FUCKING JETSONS.

MEET THE FUCKING JETSONS.

HEY, YOU WANNA SEE MY
OLD MAN GET HIS ASS KICKED?
JUST TAKE A RIDE WITH ME, PAL.

Woman on P.A.:
Shift supervisor
pick up 432.

Shift supervisor
pick up 432.

I'M LOOKING
FOR AN INSTAMATIC.

WOULD YOU CONSIDER
A DIABETIC, IF HARDWORKING
AND HANDSOME?

AN INSTAMATIC CAMERA,
GARY.

WE DON'T HAVE 'EM.

- YOU DON'T?
- NO, NO INSTAMATICS.

I'M FULLY ACQUAINTED
WITH OUR INVENTORY, MA'AM.

WE NO LONGER
CARRY INSTAMATICS.

WE HAVE DIGITAL CAMERAS,
AND WE HAVE DISPOSABLES,

AND THOSE ARE ALL
IN AISLE 74.

OKAY, THOSE NEARLY
HIT ME.

NO, THOSE NEARLY
DIDN'T.

( horns honking )

( honking continues )

UP YOUR ASS!

UP YOUR NOSE
WITH A RUBBER HOSE.

FUCK YOU!

EXCUSE ME.
I LOST MY TEMPER.

STEP OUT OF THE LINE,
PLEASE, MA'AM.

- WHY?
- PLEASE STEP OUT
OF THE LINE.

YOU FUCKING IDIOT
WITH YOUR TIN BADGE

AND YOUR STUPID
FUCKING GOATEE.

- 427.
- OH, WE UP
TO A 427 NOW?

YOU GOING FOR THE MACE
AND TASERS?

PLEASE STEP OUT
OF THE LINE.

HI, THESE CHECKOUT LINES
ARE CLOSED, FOLKS.
THEY'LL HELP YOU OVER HERE.

THIS GUY MADE
A HALF-ASSED PASS
AT ME.

I AM A DIABETIC.
I DID NO SUCH THING.

- COME WITH ME, MA'AM.
- JUST GET YOUR HANDS
OFF ME.

- MA'AM, MA'AM.
- HEY, GET YOUR HANDS
OFF OF ME.

MA'AM, PLEASE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE HAD
ONE OF THOSE FLOWER

NECKLACES FOR HIM.

IT'S CALLED A LEI.
IT MAY COME TO THAT.

THE SNUG HARBOR'S
NEW OWNER, RAMON.

MR. CUNNINGHAM.

( speaking Spanish )

IF ATTORNEY DICKSTEIN
HAS BEEN DISCREET,

IT WILL NOW SURPRISE
YOU TO LEARN, RAMON,

I'M A WINNER
OF THE MEGA MILLIONS
LOTTERY.

WHOA, CONGRATULATIONS!

I DISCLOSE THIS
TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM ARMED

IN ACCORD WITH THE STATE
LOTTERY COMMISSION'S PAMPHLET,

"THE CHALLENGE
OF SUDDEN WEALTH,"

WHICH URGES THAT WINNERS
BE CAUTIOUS IN THE CONDUCT
OF THEIR BUSINESS AFFAIRS.

SENSIBLE.

IN ANY CASE,

AFTER A 20 YEARS
INTERLUDE IN AZUSA,

I AM RETURNED
TO IMPERIAL BEACH.

I'VE TOLD RAMON
THAT YOU INTEND
TO KEEP HIM ON.

IN FACT, RAMON,
YOU WON'T CONTINUE
AS MANAGER.

I TOLD ATTORNEY DICKSTEIN
I'D BE KEEPING YOU
ON SALARY.

NATURALLY,
I'D ASSUMED...

I'M GOING TO
LEVEL THIS PLACE.

I HAVE MANY COUSINS
THAT CAN HELP TO LEVEL,

AND MY COUSIN
MARGARITA WORKS

FOR THE DEPARTMENT
OF PERMITS.

- LEVEL IT?
- LEVEL IT.

AH. I WILL NOT
BE SURPRISED

NOR JUDGE HARSHLY,
RAMON,

TO LEARN THAT YOU'VE
SUPPLEMENTED YOUR STIPEND
FROM THE COURT

TAKING IN GUESTS
OFF THE LIBROS.

THAT GUEST IS MY
RESPONSIBILITY,
MR. CUNNINGHAM.

A RELATIVE DOWN
ON HIS LUCK?

I SURF A LITTLE.
HE WAS A GREAT SURFER.

AND, YES, HE WAS DOWN
ON HIS LUCK.

PULL THE HANDLE,
PUSH THE DOOR, JOHN.

HE DID PAY $200

FOR STAYING HERE

A COUPLE OF DAYS,
WHICH RAMON INSISTED ON.

YEAH, HE WAS A SPOKESMAN
FOR THAT TEQUILA. BUTCHIE.

BUTCHIE.

SIT DOWN
AND STAY RIGHT HERE.

I'M GONNA ROLL ME
A FUCKING FAT ONE.

FULL FUCKING QUIVER,
RIGHT, JOHN?

- HUH?
- I DON'T KNOW,
BUTCHIE, INSTEAD.

BETTER HAVE A GOOD FUCKING
HEALTH PLAN YOU SEE
MITCH YOST AGAIN.

BUTCHIE YOST,
HE CHANGED SURFING.

BUTCHIE YOST?

DEAL WITH THE KIDS
IN THE WORKS.

- ( loud pop )
- JESUS CHRIST!

JESUS CHRIST!

( horns honking )

THIS IS A BLOWOUT.
THIS IS A PUNCTURE
OF THE LEFT FRONT TIRE.

THIS IS ALL FUCKED UP,
MAN.

MY GRANDSON'S
GOT A SURFING CONTEST.

MY HUSBAND AND I
ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM.

MITCH YOST,
THE WONDERFUL SURFER
FROM BEFORE THE TALKIES.

DOES THAT MAKE YOU
BUTCHIE YOST'S MOTHER?

- IS THAT A CRIME NOW, TOO?
- WATCH YOUR HEAD.

WHAT THE FUCK
DOES IT EVEN MEAN?

STAY OUT OF THIS, JOHN.
STAY BACK.

THE END IS NEAR.

RIGHT HERE,
YOU ANCIENT FUCK.
NOW'S YOUR SHOT.

YEAH, LET ME GIVE
YOU TODAY'S EXCUSE
FOR SHOOTING UP.

- Butchie: BRING IT, YOU FUCK!
- ( siren wailing )

NOTHING TO BE
ASHAMED OF
AT ANY AGE,

TO BE AFRAID TO CHANGE
A TIRE IN TRAFFIC.

I SWEAR WE'LL GET YOU
TO YOUR EVENT.

THE PIGS GOT GRANDMA.

HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT
TO USE THAT WORD?

I'M GONNA PULL IT
OVER HERE.

PROBABLY COMPLETELY
OBLITERATE THE RIM.

Shaun:
THIS IS MY DAD'S MOTEL.

I CAN'T HELP IT.
CIRCUMSTANCES
HAVE INTERVENED.

Mitch:
COME ON, YOU LITTLE SHIT.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

RIGHT HERE.
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

I OUGHTA KICK YOUR
FUCKING TEETH IN.

WE ARE ALL
FRAIL VESSELS.

Butchie:
COME ON, MOTHERFUCKER.

WHAT'S THIS NONSENSE NOW?

( fires gun )

BUTCHIE'S MOM
HURT BARRY'S HEAD.

STAY DOWN, SHAUNIE.

Cunningham:
EVEN AS I TRY TO
CLOSE THE LIBROS

OF THIS SORDID EDIFICE,
WRITE FINIS TO THE STORY

OF MY DEFLOWERING AT 10

- IN ROOM 24...
- ROOM 24 WILL GIVE UP
ITS DEAD

- AND THE DEAD
SHALL BE FORGIVEN.
- I FIND CHARACTERS

FROM ANOTHER CHAPTER
OF MY LIFE INTRUDING.

NOT COMPLETELY FOLLOWING,
MR. CUNNINGHAM,

BUT SO CERTAIN
GUNS ARE NOT THE ANSWER.

DOES YOUR GROTESQUE SPAWN
STILL WIELD

THE OLD BROOM HANDLE,
MITCH?

BRAIN THE OCCASIONAL

12-YEAR-OLD
SHELL COLLECTOR?

WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MAYBE HE AND BUTCHIE
HAVE SOME HISTORY
ON THE BEACH.

WHERE RAMON IS FROM,
THEY WOULD BUILD MITCH
A SHRINE.

Cunningham:
...FROM THE SLACK-JAWED
MUTANT, BUTCHIE, ON THE BEACH,

- LO, THOSE MANY YEARS AGO.
- I REMEMBER HIM.

WE WERE IN THE SIXTH GRADE
TOGETHER. IT'S BARRY
THE FAIRY.

AND WERE YOU
NOT THE SURFER, MITCH,

WHO PADDLED IN
TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED,

THEN TURNED
AND PADDLED BACK OUT?

Butchie:
I WAS TRYING TO HIT YOU
WITH THE BROOM PART, BARRY.

NO ONE MEANT
TO HIT YOU WITH THE HANDLE.

Cunningham:
OH, WHY,

I WONDER IF KNOWING THAT
MIGHTN'T HAVE KEPT ME

FROM CONTRACTING EPILEPSY

- IN THE AFTERMATH.
- Butchie: THE BROOM PART
FELL OFF.

Cunningham:
THE BROOM PART
FELL OFF, RAMON.

DON'T WE FIND SO OFTEN
OUR BODIES

ARE THEATERS
OF OUR RESENTMENTS?

CERTAINLY...

ONE GOOD BLOWJOB ROCKED
THE JEW LAWYER'S WORLD.

...IN ROOM 24,

MINE HAS HOSTED

VAUDEVILLES OF DEGRADATION.

NO NO NO.
HEY, BARRY BARRY BARRY!

Bill:
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

AND YOU TWO CARRYING ON
WITH YOUR WIFE

AND YOUR MOTHER
IN CUSTODY.

- Butchie: MY MOTHER?
- SHAUN WILL SOON BE GONE.

GET THIS FRUIT OUT
OF THE SUN.

- I'M SHAUN.
- I'M JOHN.

HOW'S IT GOING?

IT'S DISORDERLY CONDUCT,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.

SHE'S GOTTA BE RUN
FOR WARRANTS.

Bill:
IT'S A CITATION
AND RELEASE.

EXPEDITE THE WARRANT SEARCH.
LET'S GET THIS SENILE BASTARD
OUT OF HERE.

WHAT IS THAT
LITTLE BACK AND FORTH?

I'M BEHIND
THE DESK NOW, BILL,
AND I'M ASKING YOU

- TO SIT DOWN.
- HOW ABOUT
IF I DON'T SIT DOWN?

HOW ABOUT IF I MAKE
YOUR CIRCULARS CURRENT?

HOW ABOUT THAT?
BECAUSE THEY'RE A DISGRACE.

HERE'S ONE:
HERNANDEZ-- ROBBERY
AND CAR THEFT.

I SWEAR TO GOD,
THIS GUY CHANGED MY OIL
NOT TWO DAYS AGO.

IT'S AN HONOR
TO BE IN THE COMPANY

OF A SURFING LEGEND.

THANK YOU.

WE LOST YOU TOO SOON
TO YOUR KNEE.

I GET AROUND ALL RIGHT.

AND YOUR SON
ALSO, TO HIS MANY
DIFFICULTIES.

WELL, YOU SEE
HIM BREATHING THERE.

COMPETITIVELY, I MEANT,
WE'VE LOST HIM.

DOES THAT ABOUT
GET IT ALL SAID?

EXCEPT FOR MY THANKS
FOR THE PLEASURE

- YOU GAVE ME
AS A SPECTATOR.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO I GUESS YOU
MISSED YOUR EVENT.

ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?

NO, I SAID I DIDN'T WANT
TO GO, SHAUNIE.

'CAUSE IT'S SO LAME?

- WHICH ISN'T SAYING YOU
SHOULD BE MISSING SHIT.
- ANYWAYS.

HOW'S IT GOING?

I'LL SAY JUST
ONE MORE THING:

TRESTLES, 1979.

TO SEE YOU SURF
WAS ALL I WANTED
FOR MY BAR MITZVAH.

YOU'RE A FIFTH
FUCKING WHEEL AROUND
HERE, DICKSTEIN.

YOU FEEL THEY'D WANT ME
TO MAKE A STATEMENT?

I'LL MAKE A STATEMENT
IF NEED BE.

I'M THE DEPARTMENT
RETIREE.

- AND I HAVE THE WEAPON--
- PLEASE DON'T SPEAK
OF ANY WEAPON.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT IS
TO KEEP MY TRUCK FROM
BEING DISASSEMBLED

BY MARAUDING LOWLIFES
AND TO MAKE SURE THAT
THAT FRUIT GETS HOME.

- HE HAS A CAR OF HIS OWN.
- HYBRID, WHICH THE MARAUDERS
WON'T BOTHER.

AND IF THE FRUIT'S
ALLOWED AT THE WHEEL,

I'M LIABLE
TO DRIVE OFF A BRIDGE.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, DICKSTEIN,
ONLY ONE HAND CAN BE
AT THE HELM.

PLEASE TELL EVERYONE
I LEFT.

LIKE ANYBODY
GIVES A FUCK.

IF I ASK,

IS SHAUNIE GONNA TELL ME
BILL WAS TAKING HIM
TO HUNTINGTON?

WELL, HE'S NOT MUCH
OF A LIAR.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S
BETWEEN ME AND YOUR MOTHER.

I WENT BULLSHIT
AT A JENCO.

( speaks Spanish )

I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH,
HONEY.

( speaking Spanish )

Butchie: HE MUST READ SOME
OLD FUCKING MAGAZINES.

HE SIGNED UP TO BE MY STUDENT
AND TOLD ME YOU SHOULD
GET BACK IN THE GAME.

YEAH, HE TOLD ME
THE SAME THING
AT THE BEACH THIS MORNING.

HE'S HARMLESS

AND FUCKING RICH.

I JUST FOUND OUT
I'M PRETTY SICK.

THAT'S WHY I
SHORT-FUSED

WHEN YOU FUCKING
CALLED.

I GOT BEAT
ON SOME DOPE.

I'M DOPESICK, DAD,
IS WHAT I'M TRYING
TO SAY.

GONNA BE.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I
WAS CRANKY ON THE PHONE.

AM I UP IN THE AIR
RIGHT NOW?

Butchie:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- ARE MY FEET
OFF THE GROUND?
- NO.

YOU DON'T EVEN
FUCKING LOOK?

WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOOK FOR,
DAD? YOU'RE NOT OFF
THE FUCKING GROUND.

THAT'S THE TUMOR'S
BIG SYMPTOM--

FEELING LIKE
YOU'RE UP IN THE AIR.

SO IT'S IN YOUR BRAIN.
JESUS CHRIST, I'M SORRY.
WHEN DID THEY DO THE TESTS?

WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?

- DOES MOM KNOW?
- OH, YEAH.

I HAD TO TELL HER
THIS MORNING.

FUCK, I--

I'M SORRY I BROKE YOUR
BALLS. THAT'S THE LAST
FUCKING THING YOU NEEDED.

YOU'RE UP.

IT FEELS LIKE I AM.

YOU ARE. YOU'RE OFF
THE GROUND, DAD.

YOU'RE LIKE 2 1/2 INCHES
IN THE FUCKING AIR.

FEELS LIKE MORE.

WELL, IF THAT'S A TUMOR,
WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

- WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
- MY NAME IS JOHN.

- HE'S MY FRIEND.
- I'M HIS FRIEND.

Bill:
WELL, FRIEND OF SHAUN,

I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.

I GOT MY EYE
ON YOU.

NO, I GOT MY EYE
ON YOU.

NO, I GOT MY EYE
ON YOU.

HO HO.

I'LL WATCH MY OWN HEAD.

ARE YOU PREFERRING
CHARGES, TOO?

WE GOTTA GET WET.

Dickstein:
DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER GUN,
MR. CUNNINGHAM?

I DID NOT BUY A BACKUP,
AGAINST THE ADVICE

OF PETE'S PISTOL HUT.

DO YOU FEEL AT THIS MOMENT
YOU MAY OTHERWISE

BE A DANGER
TO YOURSELF?

NO, I DO NOT FEEL
AT THIS MOMENT

THAT I'M OTHERWISE
A DANGER TO MYSELF.

DO YOU SURF?

I DO NOT SURF.

YOU SHOULD TRY IT
SOMETIME.

IT'S FUN.

WELL, I HOPE

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

I GOTTA ASK YOU, JOHN--
WE'RE GONNA BE FRIENDS
NO MATTER WHAT, OKAY?

COULD YOU HAVE FIBBED
AS FAR AS YOUR SKILL LEVEL?

I COULD HAVE FIBBED.

FOR EXAMPLE, JOHN,

IS IT POSSIBLE THAT
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON A BOARD?

IT'S POSSIBLE, BUTCHIE.

WE CANNOT FOLD
ON DRY LAND RIGHT
NOW, OKAY?

WHEN WE'RE OUTSIDE,
YOU'RE GONNA GET A LEG CRAMP,

THEN WE'RE GONNA TURN AROUND
AND PADDLE BACK IN. HOW DOES
THAT SOUND TO YOU, JOHN?

THAT SOUNDS, BUTCHIE.

JESUS CHRIST.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

CAN I GO OUT
WITH DAD AND JOHN NOW?

YEAH, GO AHEAD.

- OH, MY FUCKING LEG!
- YOU GOTTA GRAB
THE LEG, JOHN.

- YOU GOTTA SELL IT.
- CAN YOU HELP ME OUT, DAD?

YEAH.

- YOU READY, SHAUNIE?
- YOU READY, JOHN?

- HELL YEAH, JOHN'S READY.
- HELL YEAH, I'M READY,
SHAUN.

ALL RIGHT, STUDENT,
DO AS TEACHER DOES.

ONE STEP FUCKING
BEHIND ME.

NO NO NO NO.
NO HANDS, JOHN.
COME ON.

GRAB YOUR BOARD.

NO NO NO.

JOHNNY, THERE YOU GO.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK
HE'S RUN OUT OF DOOFUSES.

SO BILL SAYS
HE CAN'T REMEMBER
WHEN HE GOT THAT FLAT

IF HE WAS TAKING SHAUN
TO THAT SURF CONTEST.

HE WAS.
I ASKED HIM TO.

AFTER I FORBADE IT.

MAYBE THIS IS THE TIME
WE ADMIT WE DON'T HAVE
A PERFECT MARRIAGE.

( chuckles )

MAYBE IT'S THE TIME
TO SAY I DON'T HAVE
A BRAIN TUMOR.

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

SURFER'S EAR,
LIKE YOU THOUGHT.

- YOU'D NEVER MISTAKE HIM
FOR A BEGINNER, WOULD YOU?
- HUH-UH.

YOU'RE NOT PADDLING
LIKE A MONKEY ON CRACK
OVER THERE, JOHN.

I'M NOT A MONKEY
ON CRACK.

YOU ALL RIGHT THERE,
BILL?

WAITING TO HEAR
FROM DICKSTEIN.

DID HE GET
MY TRUCK TOWED?

DID HE TRANSPORT
THAT SUICIDAL FRUIT?
WAITING TO FIND OUT.

MIGHT AS WELL
BE SPEAKING RUSSIAN.

DO YOU SURF, TEDDY?

TEDDY,
YOU WIPED OUT.

- OH, MY FUCKING LEG!
- JUST REST A MINUTE, JOHN.
IT'LL PASS.

I GOTTA SELL IT.

GO AHEAD, SHAUN,
TAKE ONE IN WHILE
JOHN'S CRAMP PASSES.

SHAUNIE YOST!

I JUST NEEDED
TO CATCH MY BREATH.

WE'LL PADDLE BACK
IN A SECOND.

NO NO NO, WHOA WHOA.
WAIT WAIT, JOHN, JOHN!

SOMEBODY CALL
AN AMBULANCE!

JOHNNY MONAD JUST PUT
THAT WAVE IN THE ICU!

I DON'T THINK
I'M GONNA DO IT.

SURF, YOU MEAN,

BEFORE US FALLEN
EARTHLINGS?

John:
TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY.

TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY.

THIS KID'S SMART-ALECK FRIEND
GETS A STEM-TO-STERN
CHECKOUT TOMORROW.

I CAN GUARANTEE YOU
THAT MUCH.

( mimicking )
I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.

WELL, I GOT MY EYE
ON YOU, PAL, BELIEVE YOU ME.

I GOT MY EYE
ON YOU, BILL.

( phone rings )

( rock music playing )