All language subtitles for Incident At Loch Ness

Come on in. Come in.

My name is Werner Herzog.
I'm a director.

I've directed and written
and produced...

some 40 or maybe 50 films.

And we do have yuca,
a very Peruvian...

Or actually on Amazonia,
you have those roots.

You cook them,
but it really has to be perfect...

because they are... they're a little bit boring,
and you don't overcook them.

Lena, do we have a pot...
I mean, a real large one for the yuca?

- Um...
- If it's not so large, I could actually cut it.

- You have to cut them. Cut them at least in half.
- In half, yeah. Okay.

And there's another pot over there.

It doesn't need much.
It just needs some salt.

The only thing is
you have to cook it the right amount.

It's slightly toxic.

You can taste it.
It has a slightly bitter taste.

If you cook it the right amount...

it's not toxic anymore.

- Who is it?
- It's, uh... it's Laurie from RickyJay's office.

Okay. I'm coming.

Hello, Laurie?

Hello. Oh, that's great.

Very good. Very good.
So he's coming.

We're gonna have 14.

Children,
Lotte Eisner here, my mentor.

The guys here...

in the early phase of Aguirre.

That is, actually, from Fitzcarraldo.

Very serious arrows.

So they're huge.

And that is, actually,
still some poison in it.

It's not a very dangerous...

It's not like, um, curare.

It's actually an anticoagulant.

So when you're hit...

uh, you do not
stop bleeding easily.

So I should show you the diaries
I wrote at that time.

It's very strange because
I really, really subminiaturized it.

Yes, I do have a reputation...

of being a filmmaker getting himself...

into dangerous situations and
into adventures and into trouble.

I believe that this kind
of labeling started...

because I've done "adventurous"...
quote, unquote... films...

among them, uh,
Aguirre: The Wrath of God...

A wild story about
Spanish conquistadores...

in search of El Dorado.

Fitzcarraldo...

a man who tries to pull
a boat over a mountain.

And we actually pulled
a huge steamship...

over a real mountain.

My Best Fiend...

Which is a crazy relationship
between Klaus Kinski and me.

Very productive, though, but we plotted
to murder each other at the same time.

And I also did a film, La Soufri�re...

which was shot on a volcano
that was just about to explode.

That is my reputation...

but it was never my intention
to get into any trouble...

or run excessive risks.

Werner, I notice these pictures
on the wall of Loch Ness.

Yeah, it's my next project, a documentary.

It's gonna be called
The Enigma of Loch Ness.

And, of course, there are some
of the famous photos...

of Nessie, the monster.

Of course, you can tell
that it's made up here.

This, in particular...
I'll show it to you.

Look, watch the water.

The water is...
cannot be miniaturized.

The movement of water.

You see, it's probably only toy size,
and that's very funny.

So it shows very clearly that...

this whole thing about Loch Ness...

is, more or less,
a figment of our fantasy.

And I like that much more
than the real monster...

what's going on
in our collective dreams...

and collective nightmares.

I keep asking myself...

why is it that so many Americans
were abducted by aliens?

Not only met aliens,
but they abducted them.

When you take a close look,
the vast majority of them...

are severely overweight women.

They were not only abducted,
but also gang-raped...

by, uh, aliens.

I keep, myself, asking that question...
Why?

Why have we never seen any woman
being abducted from Ethiopia?

Or why have we never seen
anyone being abducted...

from Bangladesh or Nigeria?

So that is probably the focus
of, um, what I'm gonna do.

I've always been interested in
the difference between fact and truth.

And I've always sensed...

that there's something
like a deeper truth.

It exists in cinema,
and I would call it "the ecstatic truth. "

It is somehow the same thing
like in poetry.

When you read a great poem,
you instantly would know...

in your heart, in your guts...

that there's a deep, inherent truth,
an ecstatic truth.

So there's an ecstasy in those
who have been abducted...

and it has to do
with our collective desires...

our collective dreams...

and it's a very strange crossover.

I can't figure out yet...

but I'm trying to find
the real wackos out there.

Werner, Zak is here.
Come on in!

- Hello.!
- Hi, Lena.

Oh, hello, Zak.

- You brought Sophie.
- Yes, we did. We did.

- Welcome.
- What's with the camera crew?

- Watch Barney?
- What's with the camera crew?

- It's just kind of weird.
- I think Werner should explain.

Okay. Hi.

Hi, Michele. Sophie.

- Hello!
- Can you say hello?

- Can I just put this over here?
- Do you remember her?

- Yeah, please, put it here.
- Okay.

- Is this... Are they gonna be filming all the time?
- It's a little film.

Don't worry about them.

- I got you some scotch, in honor of the movie.
- Ah, a serious one.

- Yeah, it's a good one.
- Eighteen years.

Yeah, it's 18 years.

My name is Zak Penn.
I'm a screenwriter, mostly.

I have written on a lot of films.

I wrote Last Action Hero.
I wrote a script called Suspect Zero.

I wrote, uh, X- Men 2.

Um, I've been a production rewriter.
I've been a producer.

I've done a lot of different things
in Hollywood.

And I was the producer
of Enigma of Loch Ness.

- We really have to talk about a few things.
- Okay. That's fine.

Because we... we only have so much...
so much to do.

- Right. No, no. I know.
- It's very... No, it's very, very little time.

Right, but what about... They're really
gonna film us the whole time we're talking?

- We should switch it off.
- I didn't mean...

Let's take the microphone off.

You know, not the...
not to be paranoid or whatever.

I've been up there once,
and you can roll gigantic boulders...

all the way down to the ocean.

- There's a feeling of Sisyphus.
- Okay.

Fine. That's a typically Herzogian moment.
I'm happy to...

Yeah, well, I don't really know whether
it's going to end up in the film...

- Okay.
- But there's one thing...

that definitely is gonna
end up in the film.

I need a truly obsessed
cryptozoologist.

- Okay.
- But one... I mean, as obsessed as he is...

he shouldn't look, uh, like a wacko.

He should be credible.

- Okay, so obsessed, but credible.
- Yes.

You probably have some connections
down there in Inverness already.

I do. Okay.

Perhaps some strange people
over there.

There's a lot of "obsessed. " I don't know
about "credible," but I'll look into it.

- Okay.
- Let's have a drink.

Okay, good.

- Hi!
- Hello.

Nice to see you.

So this is a... it's a film crew.

I know John Bailey.
How are you, John Bailey?

At the same eye level.

It just came out.

I'm-I'm after...
I'm after what constitutes fact...

and what constitutes truth.

- You show me the difference. Can you do that?
- Of course not.

Mention any card at all.

Did you see the way
he took it out of his pocket? Very tricky.

- Mention any card?
- Yeah.

- Ace of spades.
- Um, you could.

What you mentioned
was the ace of spades.

And you're behind me
and on all sides of me...

and over me...

but that still should work.

Wow.

Well, hello.

Hello. How are you?

- You must be the Mexican...
- Gabriel Beristain. Yes.

- Uh, nice to meet you, yes.
- Very nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, yes.

- So you probably know how to handle yuca.
- Of course.

- I'm a little bit lost.
- Elizabeth, my wife.

- Can I say "Gabriel"?
- Absolutely.

- Hi. How are you?
- Sounds a little bit more serious.

- Gaby, how are you? Looking dapper, as always.
- Thank you very much.

I'm a member of the American
Society of Cinematographers...

and the British Society
of Cinematographers.

I have done films like Blade II...

S. W.A. T., recently.

Films like K2,
Caravaggio, in the past.

I have done about 25 films...
feature films so far.

My Fitzcarraldo look.

That film changed my life,
I must say. It's fantastic.

- Which one?
- Fitzcarraldo.

- Let's not talk about movies.
- No, we won't.

I was hired to do
The Enigma of Loch Ness...

by an invitation from Zak Penn.

One day he called me and said, "Look,
I'm doing a film with Werner Herzog. "

Obviously, the opportunity to work
with Werner Herzog is unique.

Films like Fitzcarraldo, Aguirre...

shaped our understanding,
not only of filmmaking, but also life.

A cinematographer
must not be a coward.

- Absolutely.
- You have to be physical. You have to have courage.

- Yeah, keep the other eye always open.
- Sure.

Gabriel Beristain is
a director of photography...

who works on very, very commercial movies,
big, big Hollywood movies.

And I thought this would be
a fantastic opportunity for Werner...

to work with someone like this.

It might bring a whole new audience
to his films.

Well, I say direct this.

Cheers.

- Come in.
- Where do you want me to sit?

- Right there.
- Yeah. Okay.

We are going on...

Very good to have you here.
Cheers.

It's fun to believe in things...

but Carl Sagan, in his book, says,
"Just because it's fun to believe in things...

doesn't mean that we
should believe in them. "

- No, it's not fun.
- But it's possible there's something there.

- I mean, isn't it possible?
- No, Zak.

Jeff, it's not just fun.

It's a deep necessity
of this civilization.

There's something not gone right
with our civilization.

Somehow, we need
the very dark monsters.

Come on.
You are the expert.

- Now...
- Or Exterminating Angel.

I'm gonna admit to my defeat.

I have to admit to a defeat.
I wanted to serve you yuca.

But I think it's not, well, right done.

It still has a kind of a taste
that is not completely correct.

- You would know.
- Yes.

- Gabriel.
- Do you want me to put it here?

But be careful.

- If it's not completely well-done...
- Yeah.

It's still kind of toxic.

You want me to break...

Can we just move out of here?

Just one moment, Elizabeth.

We can sit over there.

How are you?

A friend of mine made it,
and it's a little... rather nuanced.

- Well, salute.
- Salute.!

Look, I do have some concerns,
and I really needed to talk to you about it.

- Yeah. What is it?
- Well, mainly my lighting package.

My lighting package is tiny.

But what do you mean
by lighting package?

Because we don't need lights.
It's a documentary.

There is some lighting.
I told Gaby there'd be some lighting.

- I don't think we need to...
- That makes it much more clumsy.

I do need Werner to tell me
all about the re-creations...

what he wants to do
and which lights...

What is it?
Re-creations, is it?

- Hi. Come on. Let's go.
- Okay.

Is it reenactments?
Or what...

No. You know what? Let me sort this out.
You go have dessert.

I'll talk to Gaby about it.

- This is... It's not a good time.
- We need to clarify that.

- I don't know...
- No, we will. He knows. We've talked about this.

He's had a couple of drinks.
It's a social setting.

Let's go back to the party.

- I swear to you, Gaby, we're gonna settle this.
- We need to talk about it.

- This is serious.
- I know. Of course we do. Of course. Come on.

That's the trouble with those.

I do not have the right razor blades.

I've got a lot of those, but let's see.

Just don't click in.

John, you shouldn't shoot
such a banality.

Rather filmmaking
is a chain of banalities.

- A lot of different kinds.
- That's the problem.

Which one. I'd better buy those, though,
because it has both of it.

Plus... that is safe.

So, Werner, how did, um...

How did it come that Zak, uh,
ended up producing this film?

Don't you normally
produce your own movies?

Normally I produce my own films,
but that was always a necessity.

But here there was a case
where all of a sudden...

the money was there...

and I didn't have to...
to go through all this hassle.

And most important was
that Zak was so enthusiastic.

That was kind of convincing.

I think it's gonna work out.

- Okay.
- Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?

- You forgot.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.

What are you guys doing?

Uh, that's an old
Russian superstition.

- It's not a superstition.
- Come on. It's very Russian.

No, it's not a superstition.
It's Russian.

But it's not a super... You have to
sit down before you go for a journey.

If you don't, you get screwed up.

- We better move. Come on.
- Okay.

Herr Herzog, willkommen.

Thank you.

- Maybe call me tomorrow?
- Finally, no sun.

- Thank you.
- Thank you. Thanks a lot.

Thank you, folks.

It's just out here.

Nessie's one of the least interesting
things about this area.

If you look at...
Coming into Inverness, this whole area...

10 years ago it was a big farm.

And now it's just another
flipping franchise complex...

another chapter in globalization
in Scotland.

You can bring to light so many
of the problems in this area...

so many of the issues.

Well, I'm not here for that.

That's TV stuff.

Uh, Robert O'Meara, yes,
he got a little bit on my nerves.

I didn't dislike him.
His heart was in the right place.

And he was a good kid.

I want to see the background...
Highland games...

maybe people
who, uh, make whiskey...

and some-some real urchin
in a cellar.

- And, um...
- Some... Right. Okay.

- Urchin. Great.
- A shepherd with his flock.

Anything, anything.
You see, we need to...

- Shepherd.
- Don't write it down.

- We just need to stay open to anything.
- Okay.

I just say "shepherd"
because I don't mean it literally.

- Let anything come in. We'll do it.
- Oh. Okay.

- Metaphor. Great.
- Yes.

- I'll show you your quarters.
- Okay.

Looks nice.

Where's the production office?

It's just down the corridor here,
but I thought you'd be...

- You're obviously quite jet-lagged.
- No, no. Come on.

- Who... Is the other one there?
- Yeah, probably.

- Um, yeah.
- Right. It's room number 10.

- Yeah, let's see the...
- Thank you, ma'am.

- Thank you.
- I'd like to see the office.

- Absolutely.
- Okay. Let's go.

Hello, folks!
Werner Herzog has arrived!

My God, Werner. How are you?

I am an enormous fan of Werner's.

But am I after credibility? Sure.

I had dreams of winning an award for
working on a movie with Werner Herzog.

- Is this all the proof we need?
- Yeah. I know.

It's great, isn't it? It's like all
the Nessie stuff. Hey, let's go get a drink.

- What do you say?
- Should we do some work?

Come on. It's late.
I've been here all day.

- Let's have a drink, at least, to celebrate.
- I'm gonna have a stout.

I'm sure they have a stout.
I'm sure. This is Scotland.

- Out here in the hall.
- Oh, hey, John.

Did you guys come with Werner?

- No, we took an earlier flight.
- How long you staying?

As long as Werner's here.

- They were at the airport.
- Oh, great.

- It was kind of surprising. In heavy rain, yet.
- No, it's great.

It's good to see you. Welcome.

- Hey, Matt. How are you?
- What's up, Zak?

Great.

Attention. Attention, please.
Welcome.

If we could all please,
uh, give our names and roles.

We'll go around the table quickly.

My name is Zak Penn.
I'm the producer.

I've been introduced.
Werner Herzog.

Uh, Russell Williams, sound mixer.

Well, I worked in the Los Angeles
film industry for 23 years.

I'm a two-time Academy Award winner,
two-time Emmy winner for sound.

I worked on Field of Dreams,
Glory and Dances With Wolves.

Worked on a couple
with Eddie Murphy...

Boomerang
and Distinguished Gentlemen.

That's actually where I worked
with our cinematographer Gabriel.

Gabriel Beristain, cinematographer,
D.P., cameraman.

David Davidson. I'm the captain.

- We haven't met.
- How do you do, Mr. Herzog?

I was hired as the marine coordinator
for the film.

And then I was asked
if I could actually be the captain...

of the ship.

I actually had to drive the boat...

as well as coordinating everything else
that was going on roundabout.

- We've got five days on the boat later on this week.
- Five days?

That sounds very much.

I mean, I don't need five days.

I agree. It's excessive, isn't it?

I don't think it's that excessive for us.

Gabriel, I don't need five days.
It's just a waste of time.

But, Werner? Werner?
Can I just interrupt for a second?

Um, there's actually some pretty good
reasons... Could you get this stuff?

I mean, I can do it in my boat in a day.

Right. I'm aware of that.
Thanks, David.

But, uh, there's actually reasons
that have... that are more important...

that have to do with what kind of promises we'd
made in terms of the film we're gonna deliver.

We have to have
a credible expedition.

Part of the reason...
Take a look at these.

Part of the reason why
I have taken such lengths...

to make everything look so official...

is because I want to show people...

that we're actually doing
a real expedition.

- So...
- What's that for? I mean, what's it for?

This is... It's...
You mean, what's...

It's an official expedition jumpsuit.
What do you mean, what is it for?

- It's...
- I mean, what it...

There's nothing official.
We are shooting a film.

- Well, it's for safety.
- Safety? What do you mean by safety?

I mean, if you fall in the water...

this way we know
you're one of our team.

- That's the point.
- Come on, Russell.

I want to go to work.
Let's shoot this Adrian Shine guy.

- Let's go out.
- Right now?

Adrian Shine, yeah.

Is this on the boat?

Do you want a car?

BJ., could you bring
the car around, please?

Does anybody know where he's going?

Oh, yeah. Go, go, go down.

Just go upstairs.

Attach to the motor so we
can move it through the water.

- And the ring...
- Okay, but how does it operate?

It's totally remote-controlled
from the boat.

So you're gonna be on the boat?

Oh, no, definitely not.
I'm not planning on going. I can't swim.

- You can't swim, really?
- No.

Okay. Well, build it.

Let's go.

Okay. So which way
do you think we'll start?

- Like basically...
- Okay.

That way I'll keep my mikes
pointed away from the traffic.

I would like to have the camera...

The camera will be right next to you.
It will be like this.

That was a productive day.

We started out with Adrian Shine,
who is a naturalist...

who lives right by
the shore of the lake.

I truly liked his spirit.

He, among all the wackos
that you find out there...

seemed to be
the only voice of reason.

Undoubtedly, the Loch Ness
monster exists as myth...

and as an amalgam of myth.

With the coming of Christianity...

many of these other beliefs,
of course...

assumed a diabolical status.

And then we shot with a man,
Steve Feltham...

who lives right down by the lake
for 12 years now.

Could just see that.

We got some very nice landscapes.

The more time you spend here...

the less monsters you will see...

because the more things
you will understand.

Yeah. Okay.
Wait with that, please.

What was interesting is
how confused they were...

because you were actually shooting...

digital video
from a different perspective...

and I was straight at them
with my celluloid camera.

With your crew, I'm not sure
whether we've started or not.

No doubt. Well, they are...
they are always around somehow.

It was just a surveillance camera
in a shopping mall.

Two boys taking a toddler away,
and they actually murdered him. Yeah?

Werner, this is, uh,
Professor Michael Karnow.

- He's our cryptozoologist.
- Hello.

- Pleasure to meet you.
- This is Gaby Beristain, cinematographer.

We finally are teamed up
on an expedition.

I'm looking forward to it.

I want to let you know that you should
feel free to use me as a resource...

for data, information, anything having
to do with the cryptological topics.

He's there for you. Okay.

You know, I have something for you,
actually. Uh, a photograph.

Werner wanted a cryptozoologist.

A cryptozoologist is a person...

who studies undiscovered animals...

I guess is the best way to put it.

They're the people who go out
and look for, um...

the Abominable Snowman or Nessie
or any of these creatures.

- The jungle pig.
- What is it called?

I know you spent a lot of time in the Amazon
basin, and that's where this was photographed...

a thousand miles
from its native habitat.

- But where is it? I can't figure it out.
- Right here.

The snout, the appendages,
fore and aft.

You got these haunches.

I was going to... I want to give you this,
actually. This is a gift for you.

- That's very kind of you.
- To Werner?

- That's okay, yes.
- For Werner.

I actually like your beard.

- You will be great on film.
- Well, thank you.

- All the naturalists here have wonderful beards.
- Best wishes.

- Thank you.
- That's for you. It's a gift.

- That's very kind.
- Let's go eat some breakfast.

- What is that?
- Oh, this is a long story.

- Uh...
- Okay, did I do what you wanted me...

You're fine. You're yourself.

- Okay, guys. Have a good day.
- I still can't...

Where is the...
Can we keep it anyway?

- Look at that.
- It's supposed to be somewhere there.

It's not gonna work.

What's not gonna work?

The engine on this boat
is way too loud...

so we can't get any usable dialogue
on this boat...

if the engine is running.

Well, what's the solution to that?

Um, I don't know if you have this
in the budget, but on Drop Zone...

we actually used a tow vessel...

about 500 yards beyond the bow...

and we pulled
the picture boat along...

and that way this boat
would be totally quiet.

It's the only thing I can suggest.

That's just absolutely ridiculous.
No, we can't do that.

Two weeks ago, you guys
showed me some boat, right?

It was a smaller boat,
but I remember we walked on, you said...

"This boat is a whisper-quiet engine. "

That was a much
smaller boat with a smaller engine.

- No, no.
- Completely different.

No. I know.
Hear me out. Hear me out.

What I'm saying is, take the engine
from that boat and put it in this boat.

Take out this engine,
put in that engine, wherever it goes.

- Again, that's totally ridiculous.
- Why is that ridiculous?

That's like putting a mini engine
in a Rolls-Royce.

- And safety...
- You know what? That's fine.

This boat was thoroughly approved
by everybody on production in L.A.

- I remember.
- Except me.

If you won't do it, it's fine.
We'll get somebody else who will do it.

Find a different captain, find somebody
who will put the engine in for me.

I understand. I respect that.

I respect that he doesn't wanna do it.
So he doesn't have to do it.

We'll find somebody else who will.
Or do you wanna do it?

- L-I'll do it.
- Okay. Good. Then that's what we'll do.

We'll take that engine, we'll put it
in this boat, we'll get some good sound.

We'll all go home.
We won't go too fast. It'll be fine, okay?

Problem solved. Okay? Let's go.

So, Robert, let me ask you
a question. How's production going so far?

Uh, not bad, not bad.

We've had a few interesting days
now that Mr. Herzog's here.

I know that they went down
to the shore and got that nut...

who lives in that van.

And I heard that was
pretty funny too.

So, good.
I think it's going well.

I would say it's going very well...

because, well, I do not see any dailies,
but from my gut feeling...

and that's always
to what it boils down...

I can say it's been very good.
There was real life in shooting.

Werner knows exactly
what he's looking for.

Today he was just showing...

Everyone there was absolutely
fascinated by his questions.

The crew is good.

I really do have a good rapport with
Gabriel and with the sound man, Russell.

He's very professional,
and good fun to have him around.

This is like a dream
come true for me, John.

I mean,
it's a very beautiful location...

and, in general, up here in the Highlands,
it's very quiet.

There's not a lot of vehicular traffic.

There's a couple
of random people on crew who...

uh, they were kind of
brought in mainly by Zak, really.

Um, the most obscure of which...

would have to be Karnow,
the cryptozoologist.

What I'm doing here
is I'm doing laundry.

As you can see, I'm separating them...
whites from darks.

But I don't use detergent
because that degrades the fiber...

and after a hundred or so, uh, washes...

what you'll begin to see
is your apparel...

beginning to literally fall apart.

But if you just hang it up like this,
and you let some air come through...

the dirt, uh... it falls out.

Who just seems to be...

a little... I don't want
to use the word "eccentric"...

'cause I don't think it quite fits him.

This is from the famous
Lodge-Kinney expedition...

in British Columbia, 1978.

This was sent to a laboratory...

and, uh, the findings were...

that it does not match
with any known genetic sequence.

Okay? So whether this
is Big Foot or Sasquatch...

or the wild man of the mountain...

there's no confirmation
one way or the other.

Here we have a tentacle.

This was captured by
a team of fishermen off of...

- Hold it still. Let me take a look at it.
- Sri Lanka.

- Tentacle of what?
- Uh, I don't know exactly.

Again, it could be a squid...

um, that if it grew
to its full length...

would...

be perhaps a hundred feet.

So tomorrow's the first day
on the boat. Are you excited?

Looking forward, absolutely.

I think really, really
very excited about it.

Most of my previous work
in this region...

has been, um, land-based, okay?

To get out on the water...

I think it's gonna give me
a whole new perspective...

on, um, on finding this thing
and gathering data.

I think our chances,
by being out there...

increase exponentially.

And I've seen the boat.

It looks clumsy, but it's very...
it looks reliable.

Clumsy. Has a very nice, deep,
resonant sound. Not too loud.

I'm really impressed that our producer
actually took the time...

to refit an engine in the boat...

because there was gonna be
a sound problem.

I've done sound in Hollywood
for 23 years...

and I can tell you
that very rarely happens.

The thing that people
are gonna pay to see...

is not Werner throwing
some rocks down a hill.

It's gonna be Werner Herzog
on the prow of that boat...

or whatever it is... the mast...
the thing at the front.

Standing there hunting
the goddamn Loch Ness monster.

Show me one piece of evidence...

that proves this thing
does not exist, okay?

They don't have...

They're saying,
"Show us the evidence. "

I'm saying,
"Show us the non-evidence. "

Give us one piece. Where are the books
written about the non-evidence?

I think Zak Penn and I are now,
at this stage, speaking separate languages.

There's so many misunderstandings,
so many different communications.

One of the reasons why
I've shifted into producing...

is because, you know, I'm sick
of being in the background.

I'm sick of not having any say,
of being pushed around.

One of the things I like about
being a producer is, you know...

you don't take as much shit
from people.

You say, "Here's what I want.
Fire that writer. "

Perhaps the only thing
that I'm a bit concerned...

is with the famous...
the re-creations.

Yeah, I think the re-creations
are a bit strange.

I'm still not sure exactly what we
are gonna be doing with that.

But Werner knows exactly
what he's doing.

I think it's gonna be great.
Yeah.

All right, that's the case that's got
the Nagra in it right there, Werner.

So that's all backup.

- I'm David. I'm the captain.
- I'm Steve.

Cables.

You want to put your camera
up here in the port side?

I'm gonna be running cable,
port, starboard, stern, bow.

Yeah, so what are you? What do you do?

- What do you do?
- Cryptozoologist. Scientific advisor.

The guy came on board the boat,
you know.

Didn't really seem to know
what he was talking about.

Brought all these strange
electronic objects out.

This is a, uh... an advanced scanner.

And I can't wait to get
this puppy out there.

I got this right here,
which should come in handy.

I can... Well, that gives you
a sense for how it extends.

Then you can do it double.

It's got this nub at the end.

As long as you keep me informed of everything
you're doing on board the boat before you do it.

You got it. This is about three feet,
but it may extend to nine.

- Really. - We're gonna be running
it port-starboard direction.

- Yeah, that sounds really interesting.
- All right.

These are gonna be here, and
I don't need people touching them, okay?

Hey. I'm Kitana Baker.

- Who are you?
- Kitana Baker.

The first day on the boat
was very, very interesting...

to say the least.

We were boarding the boat
when suddenly, from nowhere...

the most absolutely
beautiful creature...

came in with us.

She had the boiler suit. She was
absolutely beautiful. Her name is Kitana.

Her tag name was "sonar operator"...

but obviously Werner was as puzzled
and as surprised as every one of us was.

Zak? Where's Zak?

I hadn't been told anything about
this woman working aboard the ship.

So all of a sudden
she walks up to me...

and she has this jumpsuit on,
and it says "sonar operator. "

And she didn't look like
a sonar operator.

Can the boat go any faster?

No.

What's our course today?
Where are we heading?

We're steering 0-6-0.

Cable!

I don't know what he's doing.

It's going...
I think it's going really well.

I think it's, uh, you know...

Um, a few disappointments. I'm a little
disappointed Werner didn't wear the jumpsuit.

I would have liked to have seen that.

I think it would help
with the expedition.

The jumpsuit... Oh, my God, yeah.

I never had any intention to wear that.

It was just ridiculous.

And they even misspelled
"expedition� on the back.

We're gonna head up
to Urquhart Castle...

to do a shot with Michael Karnow,
our cryptozoologist.

And... Oh, wow, John.
Look at this.

You're gonna get a fighter pilot
coming right by.

Wow. That's cool, huh?

You know, uh, I actually... I wrote a movie
about, uh... Behind Enemy Lines.

And I went out on an aircraft carrier.

I think that's when I really started
to love being on the water.

Man, break out that Nagra.
I don't know.

We started working...

and the first thing
that we had to do...

we have to interview...

our, uh... our scientist.

Professor Karnow,
can you tell us about the monster?

Sure. The so-called
Loch Ness monster...

is a large aquatic creature.

I'm sorry. I gotta stop. I hear
the walkie-talkies in the wheelhouse.!

- David.
- Hear the walkies.

- David, the walkie-talkie.
- Sorry.

- Okay. Let's go.
- Sorry, Werner. Still rolling.

- Yeah.
- You got some spray on it.

- And rolling.
- Professor Karnow, the third.

The so-called Loch Ness monster
is an aquatic creature...

that lives beneath
these black waters right here...

is probably a reptile of size.

Professor Karnow, do you really
believe in the monster?

Absolutely.

I mean, there's been 10,000 sightings
of this thing over 1,500 years.

If you look at that, and you look
at the Birmingham sonar readings...

- basically cut-and-dry evidence.
- Cut. Cut.

- Okay?
- Mikey, that's fine.

Yeah, that's fine.

- Okay, Russell, we film back there.
- Okay.

That was very... That was great, Mikey.
It was really great.

Don't worry. It was great.

- David, let me ask you something.
- Yeah?

I'm curious about the name
of the boat, Discovery IV.

What happened to
Discovery I, II and III?

There weren't a
Discovery I, II and III.

Then number IV.
Why call it number IV?

That was the producer's idea,
to call it Discovery IV.

He thought it would sound
more authentic.

- Yeah?
- Is there any way we can turn that radio off?

- Especially while we're shooting.
- No.

Hmm. Okay. Well, I mean,
you're really killing me here.

Um, I'm really not getting any good sound,
but all right, whatever.

How do you feel about
changing the name of the boat?

There's a tradition that
by changing the name of the boat...

it's bad luck.

Bad luck.
You mean, bad luck for us?

The whole lot.

Yes, I named the boat,
um, Discovery IV.

That was my idea.
You know, I thought it sounded cool.

It was very important to me
to build a credible expedition.

That's why the jumpsuits.
That's why that sonar.

I wanted people to think
and to feel...

like this was an authentic expedition
to find the Loch Ness monster.

Jacques Cousteau didn't go out
in a boat called, you know...

The Tweety Bird.

It had some cool name. I don't know
what it was, but I'm sure it was cool.

And Discovery IV...
You know, Discovery IV.

I don't know.
To me, it just worked.

One moment,
Werner was downstairs...

on the hull...

and-and Zak pulls me
and pulls Russell...

and said, "Come on.
I need you very quickly. "

We are gonna be filming Kitana,
an interview.

And Kitana was going to explain
something about the sonar.

- You're gonna say...
- What's my line again?

Say, "I'm gonna attach the antenna,"
something like that.

- It doesn't really matter.
- Okay.

You jump in the water, you come
right back out, we reset, do it again.

- I'll get water.
- We're gonna wet my hair first.

You want me to hold that for you?
You don't want that to get wet.

And then suddenly,
that incredible girl...

pull her boiler suit out...

and then she's with the tiniest bikini
I ever seen in my life.

And, Zak, why exactly am I
wearing a G-string bikini?

Because you are a model and
a sonar operator. Let's get this done.

Come on, guys.

Okay, okay. Come on. Time is money.
That's wet enough.

- Here we go.
- Here you go.

- All right, guys. Let's roll it.
- Okay.

And speed. Sexy sonar one.

- I'm gonna set down... Let me restart, okay?
- Just do it again.

I'm gonna go down
and set the sensor.

My name is Kitana Baker.

I am a actress and a model.

Um, I've modeled for Playboy...

and I have been in the Miller Light
catfight commercials.

And I've done some work
for Wild On E.!

And a few small film roles.

So she went into the water.

We just couldn't believe
what happened.

I can't do this.
I'm sorry. It's too cold.

That's okay.
That was pretty good. Can we reset?

What's going on here?
What's going on?

Werner came out
and literally caught us red-handed.

Come on in. It's way too cold.
This water is really cold.

- Then he pointed at me. "Gabriel, what are you doing?"
- What are you doing here?

- I'm doing what I'm told.
- You're burning all our raw stock.

Obviously I felt like I should
point my finger to Zak...

and said, "He's telling me
we have to... "

Russell and I said,
"We're making two films. "

To me, it kind of trivialized
what we were doing...

in terms of, you know,
making a serious documentary.

If it had come from Werner, then okay,
that's all part of his grand design.

But Werner was a little upset when he
came back to the aft part of the ship...

and girlfriend was jumping out
of the water, wet and cold.

Zak, please, can you come in?
Just come in.

I need to talk to you.
Guys, can you give us a moment?

I need to talk to Zak here.

My D. P... My D.P. Out there is shooting,
and I'm not around.

- I know. I know.
- What does that mean?

I don't know. It surprised me too.

But you, as a producer, you should know
what to do. You have to stop him.

I'm the one who should call the shots.

I wanted some answers from Zak.

I really wanted to know
what the hell was going on...

but before he could even start
to give me any explanations...

all of a sudden Michael starts to yell
that he had seen something in the water.

My God.

Is something wrong?

- Nessie.
- You're in my way.

Look at that. Look.

- Nessie.
- Nah, that's the wake of a boat.

It's just normal current
moving through the water.

Oh. Oh, well.

- Sound speed.
- Camera speed.

Okay, one...

The question
we ask ourselves is this:

Why do they think
that in these deep waters...

a prehistoric creature,
some sort of a dinosaur, is dwelling?

Why, out of all lakes in Scotland,
are they coming here?

Because this is the loch
where the creature lives.

Today is the day we're gonna find it.
We've got Nessie weather.

- We've got a light breeze, partly cloudy...
- Cut it.

Michael. Um, Michael. Please.

Mikey, I'm shooting a film here...

and when I'm doing a film,
please don't walk into a shot.

I understand, but-but, okay...

you're not "yes and-ing" me.

I don't understand what you mean.

Basically, I'll add a piece of information,
then you add another piece.

But if you negate my information,
it stops everything.

- Okay.
- I'm just glad we were able to do this.

- We can interact this way now.
- It's okay. It's okay.

- Thank you.
- Yeah. Russell.

Is he serious, boss?

Mikey was a strange character...

but in retrospect, um...

when I learned everything,
I kind of understand him much better.

I think he was doing
what he was told to do.

- Tell me the position.
- I need you a bit more...

- Like this?
- Yeah. Good.

- Okay, I'm rolling.
- Rolling.

- And speed.
- Camera rolling.

Number two.

The question we ask ourselves is this:

Why, in defiance of all logic...

millions of people
are coming to this lake here...

believing that there's a dinosaur,
some sort of a prehistoric creature...

- dwelling in the waters?
- What is that?

- Why, of all lochs...
- Hey, man, did you see something in the water?

- Didn't you see it?
- I didn't see anything, John.

- Oh. Okay.
- Was it okay?

- Clean. Very clean.
- Sound okay for you?

I know you did what you could for me,
as far as this engine...

- Uh-huh.
- But we have another big problem...

because this radio keeps going off
in between and during the shots.

- It's a big problem.
- What radio?

The radio... The captain's radio.

I got the walkie-talkies under control,
but his radio's blasting all the time.

If we could turn it down or get rid of it,
we might get something usable.

- Okay.
- Do what you can do.

Okay.

A lot of strange things happened
the first day on the boat...

and it looked like
a confusing puzzle to me...

while I was working there...

but at the end of the day,
somehow everything fell into place...

and I knew...

I just knew that there was
something seriously wrong.

If we rented two cars, it would actually
be cheaper than renting one van.

- Yeah.
- Well, that makes no sense.

Get the, uh... Let's get the transpo guy
in here and talk to him about it.

Bring him in now.
Let's get this worked out.

There's no point
in bringing him in now.

It's... You've got a meeting
in 15 minutes. So...

- Oh. Um...
- We can talk to him in the morning.

No, no. That's right.
Guys, I'm sorry.

I know I said you could shoot in here,
but I've got a meeting in 15 minutes...

so you guys actually have to clear out now,
if you don't mind.

- Sure, Zak. No problem.
- Okay, good.

Well, let's bring him in
first thing in the morning then and...

Hey, Werner.

Put him in first thing
in the morning...

and we'll get this sorted out then...

- and we'll do it before we get on the boat.
- Zak.

- Yeah?
- We need to talk.

Okay. Uh, can we go
in the other room?

No, just stay here.

You know, I know what's going on.

I know exactly what is going on.

- What do you mean?
- You're shooting with the cinematographer all alone...

and you have this girl in a bikini...

and she's supposed to be
a sonar expert.

Come on.
I'm too long in the profession.

I'm just too long in the profession
to know what's going on.

It's a hoax. It is just a hoax.

I think you're really overreacting.

No, I'm smelling a rat
against the wind.

When it's there,
I smell it, and that's it.

- I just smell it.
- Jesus.

I don't know what to say.

Zak, we are done.
We're just done.

John, you better get that fucking camera
out of my face.

I'm serious.

Get out of my fucking way.

- Look, don't pack your bags.
- Get out, Zak.

I just want you to get out.
Just get out of here.

John, come on. Listen, Werner...

I made a mistake, okay?
I mean, that's...

- What do you mean by mistake?
- Well, I mean that I... I...

You actually lied to me.
You just lied to me.

- Well...
- That's a difference.

Listen, you once said to me,
"Cinema is lies. "

What do you mean by "cinema is lies"?
Sure, there's a distinction.

If you can't make the distinction,
if you just can't make the distinction...

why don't you become
a talk show host?

- Okay. Well...
- Or become a prosecutor, become a lawyer.

- Okay, well, I think...
- Just don't make movies.

Listen, I distorted things so that things
would be more dramatic.

I don't see what's so wrong about that.
I really don't.

I mean, okay, a couple of things
didn't come out the way I wanted...

but that doesn't mean you have to
go pack your bags and leave.

Don't give up on the movie now.

You've got points on this movie,
my friend.

- You walk out this door, you sacrifice that.
- I don't care about points.

- Okay, well...
- I just care about a good movie.

That's all I care about.
That's all I'm trying to do.

If you walk out the door,
there's no movie, okay?

Everyone who works here, everyone who
is working on this movie loses their jobs.

I lose all the money I've put into it.

- You lose everything you've done.
- Don't talk about money.

- I know you don't care, but I care.
- You make your own movie.

- Just make your own movie.
- Okay. Lovely, John.

I should have quit
right then and there...

and I should have quit
the day after and the next day...

any day of shooting...

but somehow I couldn't
let it happen...

to have a film shut down
on my account.

At least, that's something
I told myself.

Werner, uh, listen.
There's some problems with the boat.

I just want to give you
the heads-up about that.

It's, uh, not...

What's wrong?

I don't know. It's not my engine.

You know, we were always
having problems with that boat.

It wasn�t just that day.

You know, look, in retrospect, I don't want
to point fingers about why it went wrong...

although I do blame David...

because I think that he's the captain
and he should be responsible for that.

There were constant problems.

But anyway, we got going.

Zak was very insistent
that I explain the sonar equipment.

I had actually gotten
this equipment from...

through connections I had
to Jim Cameron's company.

Under the impression that I was there
to play the role of a sonar operator...

I had done some research
ahead of time.

It was really authentic-looking. I mean...

Jacques Cousteau would have
given his left nut for this thing.

I just wanted to get
some shots of it on screen.

It's gonna make the movie
look really authentic.

You'd think, like, whatever.
No big deal. It would take us two seconds.

But it was like pulling teeth.

- It will show. Please. Please, I'm begging you.
- Okay.

- Okay. Great.
- Are you ready?

While we were filming that...

the first real incident occurred.

When I do documentaries, I operate
with my eye open... my left eye open.

So both eyes are open.

I'm constantly checking
inside the camera and the reality.

This is a technique that I learned
and is very important.

Documentary cameramen
have to always have this eye open.

Sonar one. And action.

This is our sonar system.

We were interviewing Kitana,
and suddenly on my left eye...

I saw something in the water.

Something was happening there.
Something there, very strange.

So immediately I pan, because I thought
I'm gonna miss it if I don't do it.

I saw Gabriel
panning away from me and...

He started saying,
"I see something. "

I turned and looked out the window.

I started yelling at Gaby
to stay on the shot.

And then I saw you running,
and I followed you out there.

- Over there.
- What's going on?

- There's something out there.
- Something on the water.

- What is that? What is that?
- Right there, in the water.!

Holy cow.! What is it?

What is it?

- Rolling.
- Keep rolling.!

- It went under.
- What is it?

- Right over there.!
- Keep rolling.!

What's everybody doing?
What's going on?

I was running around the other side
of the deck. I saw nothing.

When I got to the side of the boat,
I admit...

there was some sort of little wake in the water,
which I was unclear about...

but it could have been a fish.

- Where?
- Werner, Werner! Look!

It was moving towards us very quickly,
and from the amount of water...

the sheer amount of water
it was displacing...

you could tell it was very large.

There was, like,
a shape moving in the water.

It was very interesting...
you know, like, extraordinary.

Something really, really traveling
at tremendous speed.

And I said, "Okay, I'll film it,"
and we were filming it.

And Zak came out and said,
"What are you doing?"

- What's going on?
- And I confronted him.

Zak, come here.
I need to talk to you.

- Have you seen that?
- You're gonna be shooting effects...

you gotta give me a fair warning.

- L... What?
- I mean, you've got to give me a fair warning.

I mean, I was about
not to get it, honestly.

Gaby, I have no idea
what you're talking about.

- I mean, if we're gonna do the effects...
- Gaby, Gaby.

I have no idea what you're talking about.
What are you talking about?

Zak, you've already
been lying to Werner.

You're not gonna be
lying to me, okay?

On one hand, I felt, okay,
I'm understanding what Zak is trying to do...

and, okay, now he is not telling Werner
the whole situation.

He is not telling Werner everything
about it, but... but okay.

But then Zak was not even
taking me into consideration on that...

and suddenly he's just
releasing all the effects...

and he was trying to make it
like it all happened naturally.

To be absolutely honest with you,
it was pretty good effects.

The idea that I put something
in the water that, like, you know...

whatever it was that Gaby said, that I had
put some special effect in the water...

is absolutely insane.

I mean, I'm not David Copperfield,
for God's sakes.

It's not like I could pull off a trick like this
standing in the boat. It was crazy.

We just kept staring at that water...

just at nothing else
but that water out there.

Things ground to a halt.

Okay, uh, they just stopped.

The whole production just stopped...

and, uh, I tried...

I did my best to get things started again
because, you know, that's my job.

I'm the producer.
I'm supposed to keep things rolling.

But even Werner didn't seem to have
any interest in shooting anything.

He just wanted
to keep looking in the water.

David, let's wrap. Turn it around.

Let's go home.

Okay. All right.

- Great.
- Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Russell,
what happened out there today?

You know,
I don't think I saw anything, really.

I mean, there was something,
some kind of disturbance in the water.

I wouldn't say it was a creature...

but I'm, you know, just looking forward
to getting back home.

That's my thought right now.

These guys came along,
and they hired the boat and myself...

to do filming in the loch and, um...

they reckon they've seen things.

I've seen... a kind of anomaly, you know,
which I haven't seen before...

but, um, it's just getting a bit confused
as to what they're up to now.

It all just seems really contrived.

You know,
it's not what I signed up for.

I think Zak's up to something.

I don't trust him.

I don't think it was Zak.
I think that it's the other way around.

- I think it's Werner.
- Werner?

I think that Werner
is running circles around Zak.

If you think about it, think about
who Werner is, think about who Zak is...

Okay, but Werner
is a very honest man.

Zak seems to be taking advantage
of everybody here.

Or... Or there is some third entity
who is manipulating both of them.

There's some third person,
an individual, and they're...

- Who would this third person be?
- I don't know who this is.

I think there's a game being played,
and we're watching the game play out.

I think Herzog and Zak are both
sort of on the board, being played...

and we're all pawns as well.

So, where do you come into this, Mike?

Maybe I'm the rook. Maybe I'm the bishop.
I don't know who I am.

Werner, it is a setup. It's a fabrication.

You've got to believe me.

I've got to figure this
because it was kind of strange...

what we saw today.

I don't believe he can make
a fabrication like that.

He told me about the re-creation,
remember.

- He was...
- Yeah, but re-creation, you see...

If a winged cow would fly across the lake,
I would say, "Yeah.

"Well, that's some sort
of a magic trick...

or something he's pulled off'...

but, uh, it kind of looked
in a way that puzzles me.

You saw how it rolled.

You do a special effect
in a different way.

- I know.
- You just have a hump out, but it just doesn't roll.

He, literally...
he's dragging you down...

and I just... I have to tell you.

I have to say,
because I-I feel that it is not right.

He's taking us for a ride...
both of us.

But, okay, I just work
and go to a different film...

but what he is doing to you, I mean,
I have to tell you, Werner...

it is not fair.

There are forces out there,
and I think they're being manipulated.

- Let's take a walk.
- Huh? What?

The rumor that we were perpetrating
some sort of a hoax...

was spreading among the locals...

and I've seen that before.

I mean, uh, doing a film
like Fitzcarraldo...

there were wild rumors out
we were doing bad things...

and violating civil rights
of native Indians...

all these sort of things.

They happen, and these rumors
are like a virus, like a disease.

Like wildfire, they spread,
and you just can't stop them.

We wanna know what's goin' on.

Easy, easy, easy!

- Hey!
- We wanna know what's going on.

- What's going on?
- What's going on?

Do it, do it, do it now. Do it now.

- Watch it.!
- Are you okay?

I don't wanna make some blanket comment
about the people of Scotland...

but the fact that they picked on
Michael Karnow, of all people...

uh, I think is pretty low.

I mean, this is a guy
who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Literally. He actually, literally,
has a thing about flies.

He will not hurt flies, and the idea that
that's the person they chose to blame...

for the imagined goings-on
on the water, you know...

I think is sad, it's really sad.

I've been on the phone all morning.
I can't get in touch with Gaby or Russell.

I need you to take the car, go back
to the hotel, see if you can find them.

- They checked out this morning.
- They checked out?

I tried there already, and they
checked out first thing this morning.

- Why didn't you tell me that?
- Why didn't you ask me?

So, where's Russell?
Where's Gabriel?

I don't really know, Werner.

Um, they didn't show up.

So, no camera, no sound?

You've shot 16 millimeter before.
You could shoot the movie.

Yeah. Fine. Perfect.

- I'm gonna be the cinematographer.
- Good.

- I can do the gaffer. I can even steer the boat.
- Great.

- Do you know what?
- What?

This is the single-most
chaotic production I've ever seen.

- Thanks. That's helpful.
- And I've been on a couple of difficult ones.

Yeah, I know you have.

At least we're not dragging
the boat over a hill.

- What did you say?
- Nothing.

You know what, John? I don't want
you guys on the boat today, either of you.

- It's too disruptive. It's not good.
- No, no, no.

If I'm gonna shoot this movie,
he's gonna shoot his too.

Okay. Fine.

It's not like I didn't see
what he was trying to do.

It's not like I wasn't aware
that he was trying to make things worse.

I figured, as long as he's willing to pick up
that camera and shoot, let's just move on.

We'll laugh about this another day...

which, obviously, we have not.

You know, that other day never came,
but that's a different story.

10,000 recorded sightings,
10,000 reported sightings...

600 valid or nonvalid sightings.

I don't know, Robert.
This doesn't seem to be working.

You need to switch it on, Zak.
There's a switch in the middle of the remote.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Okay, so this one's left and right.

- Mm-hmm.
- What's this one? Is this yaw?

Is that what this does?

- Is that the yaw?
- Probably not, seeing as it's not a helicopter.

- Don't... Don't get wise with me, Robert.
- I think that's broken.

All right.

There's some kind of safety
switch on the actual thing as well.

What's that beeping?

- What are you doing there, Kitana?
- It's chess.

- Do you wanna play?
- Oh, no. I'm too lousy.

I don't even know how the pieces
are supposed to move.

Kitana, do you think you could
get that sonar rolling?

I mean, the computer,
or whatever there is.

I don't know. I mean,
I did a little bit of research.

I can take a look at it
and see what I can do.

All right.
Let's see what we can do here.

All right, first of all,
this actually needs to be plugged in.

- Plugged in where?
- This is a wireless transmitter.

- Mm-hmm.
- And this needs to be set down into the water.

All right. There we go.
There's the signal.

Thanks. It's working.

Okay, cool.

Let's do this.
Here you go, Robert.

- Grab that.
- All right.

Okay. Everybody ready?
Werner, are you ready with the camera?

- Yeah, give me some slack.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

David, you just get ready.

When I throw this in, you're gonna hit
the engine and start driving, all right?

Yeah, Michael, you start doing your narration
as soon as it goes in the water.

- All right.
- Okay?

- All right. Okay, you ready?
- I think that's enough.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- One, two, three!

- Fifteen hundred years.
- Shoot it.!

Look, it's floating away.!
It's floating away.

- Look, it's perfect.!
- I'm not gonna shoot that.

No, I'm not gonna shoot that.

How could you not shoot that?
Look at that. It's perfect.

Just shoot it.
Turn the camera on.

Werner, shoot it.
Look, it's in the water. It's perfect.

This is just pathetic.
It's pathetic. Just look at it.

It's not pathetic.
It's the money shot of our movie.

- Take a look through the camera.
- Shoot the goddamn shot.

Stop arguing with me
and shoot the goddamn shot.

It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
I'm not gonna shoot this.

This is so dumb. I've never seen
anything as dumb as that.

Werner, either you shoot the shot
or I'm gonna shoot you, okay?

I had heard the stories about Kinski...

and about Herzog directing Kinski
with a gun pointed at him...

and, you know, I just thought,
the gun was there...

and, you know, I wasn't planning
on shooting him.

Or I'm gonna shoot you, okay?

Just shoot it. How does it feel now being
at the other end of the gun, my friend?

- Well, that's just a myth.
- Go ahead.

- I've never done that.
- Well, I...

I've never tried to direct anyone
with a gun pointed.

You know what? I'll direct you
with a gun pointed right at your head.

Pick up that camera and shoot.

The story of me directing Kinski with a gun
pointed at him from behind the camera...

is just a fabrication,
a myth of the media.

I'm just tired of defending myself against it.
It has its own life.

Why don't you take a good look?

It's just a flare gun,
and it's not even loaded.

- Just take a look. Just look at it.
- Oh.

What was that?

Okay, that's it.
We're heading for the shore.

Did you see anything?

What the hell was that?

Somethin' hit the boat, you know?

I don't, uh...
I don't know what it was...

but something just rammed
right into us.

I was quite concerned
about what was happening...

and I decided to head for the shore.

Quite a fog had set in. You know,
I was pretty concerned about that as well.

Hey, guys, there's something following us.

Coast guard, coast guard, coast guard.
Discovery IV to coast guard.

Do you read me?

What's going on?
What's wrong with the radio?

Do you read me?
The radio's knackered. It's broken.

It is possible that I told
one of the crew members...

to remove the guts of the radio...

because of the sound problems.

It's possible.
I'm not saying that that's true.

It might have been David who did it himself.
I don't know.

I think we're losing it.

- Why did we stop?
- Engine stopped.

Can we start it?

I'm trying to start it.

It will not start.

We had a major problem.

We were stuck in the middle
of the loch with no power.

Nothing.

Now, Mikey, tell me,
why is this creature following us?

- Huh?
- It keeps following us.

- I don't know.
- Yeah, but you should know. You are the cryptozoologist.

- You're the expert.
- I'm not a cryptozoologist.

- I'm not a scientist. I don't know anything.
- What do you mean by that?

- You asked me for credible, but obsessive.
- Yes.

Do you understand
it's impossible to find both?

- He has to be credible.
- You don't call this credible?

- No, no, I'm not saying...
- This took me two months to grow this.

- Don't be a baby.
- Baby? I'm a baby now?

- Hmm?
- I can't believe this is the debate we're having.

I can't believe this is
what we're discussing.

- I'm not saying you're not credible.
- So he's paid?

- Yes, he was paid.
- He was supposed to pay me. He hasn't paid me a cent.

- So, he's a paid stooge.
- Stooge? What's that supposed to mean?

- What's he talking about?
- Now, tell me, who is real and who is not?

You pissed this creature off.

- What? We pissed this creature off?
- What?

He's probably chasing us because of
that stupid thing you put in the water.

Wait. What do you mean?
It's chasing us 'cause of that?

It probably thinks it's preying.

- The plastic...
- Okay, whoa.

Now, hold it. I think that's
an interesting proposal.

I mean, why else
would it be chasing us?

Okay, that's just the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

- I can't believe you think...
- Maybe it's not that stupid.

Okay, you guys are going crazy.

- Yeah. No.
- There's no other reason why it would be after us.

Yeah, because
we are food or whatever.

Quickly, Kitana, Werner.

Then the sonar
starts up again, giving us this echo...

and, well, I was getting
quite freaky by that time.

I got everyone down below,
out of the road, you know.

I really thought
something was gonna happen.

There was a lot of tension
down in that hold...

and it wasn't even
so much from the sonar.

It was how angry we all were
at each other.

I mean, Werner was angry at me...

and so was David,
and, actually, so was Kitana.

And Michael was angry at Werner.

Everybody was kind of angry
at each other.

As I was sitting there in the hull...

it dawned on me that
whatever film I had planned...

had evaporated...

and your film, John,
this study about my life...

had turned into, maybe,
some sort of a horror movie.

There's something on the screen.

What's it doing?

Give me that pump!

Get after that pump.!

- Get out of my way!
- Go, go, go, go, go!

Come on, guys.
Go, go, go, go.!

Lance! Oh, my God,
I got him. I got him!

Lance, it's Zak.

Listen, connect me to
the Scottish Coast Guard.

- Loch Ness.
- Loch Ness.

I don't know the number.
Di... Lance!

Aah. Aah!

Give me your phone.
Give me your phone.

All right. Here.

Uh, was this working before?
Were you getting reception?

Yeah, but the battery's dead now.

- The battery's dead?
- Yeah.

- Goddamn it!
- Jesus! That's my fucking phone!

What did you do that for?

- Step back. Step back.
- Whoa!

Nobody's gonna come.

- Why's that?
- Everybody thinks it's a hoax.

It's all anyone talked about
in the bar last night.

We're sunk, gents. That's it.

- We're not gonna make it.
- Shut up! You're freaking me out!

Oh, God.

Guys.

He's fallen in the water.!

- Oh, God.
- Man overboard.!

- Mikey, over here!
- You're swimming the wrong way!

What is that?
Michael, it's heading towards you.!

Swim.!

Swim away! Get away from it!

Get away! Swim away!

- Werner, let's throw this thing in the water.
- Okay. Throw it over there.

Michael, you're swimming the wrong way.!

- I don't see him anymore.
- He went that way.

Michael.!

Kitana, he must be out there. Michael.!

- I don't see him.! Michael.!
- Mikey.!

Kitana. Kitana. Where is Zak?
Have you seen him?

I haven't seen him, Werner.

Kitana, I haven't seen Zak.
And where's Robert? Have you seen him?

I don't know. I'll ask David.

- David! Have you seen Zak around here?
- No.

Life raft's gone.

I couldn't believe
Zak stole the lifeboat.

I had only one thought on my mind:

If I survive this,
I was gonna find Zak Penn...

and I would hunt him down
and I would strangle him with my two hands.

- Jesus!
- Hold on. Hang on.

Just hold on. Hold on.

David, David,
you are the captain of this ship.

Aye, sir, I'm the captain of this ship...

and I'm responsible for the lives
on board this ship.

And I'm responsible for these people.

- One of us should try to swim for shore.
- No, no, no.

I've told you before, the water
is far too cold at this time of year.

I've got one wet suit on board.
I'm gonna put the suit on and swim ashore.

I'm gonna put on this wet suit
and I'm gonna swim. This is final.

What is that?

Look, look, out there.

Out in the water, what is that?

Guys... I think it's the life raft.

Help me get it into the housing here.

- Gonna have to...
- God.

My hands are shaking.

There we go. All right.

Here, take my flashlight now
and help me guide it in.

- Okay.
- John, Matt.

- Yeah, David?
- You should come into the wheelhouse.

- It's gonna be really cold tonight.
- Okay, we'll be right in.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Just take it around this.

- This right here?
- Yeah.

Left side or right side?

John. John, wake up.

John.

There's something going on outside.

What's going on?

Look at that.

David, watch out.!

Look out.!

David? Are you all right, David?

David. David. Is he okay?

- He has a pulse.
- Is he breathing?

- Yeah.
- David?

Where is John? Where is Matt?

I don't know.

There's his camera.

I don't know exactly
why I picked up the camera.

It was probably instinct
from years of making films.

There was nothing left to do
at that point but shoot.

- How is David?
- He's still unconscious.

Watch out.! Watch.! Watch out.!

- Oh!
- I'll swim to shore.

- Hurry back.
- I'll make it. I'll swim to shore.

There was something
in the water ahead of me...

and I ducked beneath
the surface to film it.

It came right up to me.
It actually hit me.

Hey, Pete, say something
at the camera for Helen.

Hello, Helen. How are you?
Happy birthday. How's college goin'?

Your mama and I are here in Loch Ness,
just starting our holidays.

The weather's beautiful.

What's out there? Carry on.
Tell her how much we love her and miss her.

- Yeah, we send you our love, and we hope to see you soon.
- Please.! Please.!

- What's that?
- Help.

- What's the matter down there? What's the problem?
- Help.

- There's been an accident.
- Are you okay?

You know, I can't tell you
that I saw what hit us...

but it was big.

I mean, it threw us out of the raft.

It was torn apart,
and we just swam, you know.

I started swimming one direction,
and Robert, I guess, swam in the other.

- Oh, God.
- Just hold on.

I don't know what happened to him,
you know.

I can't tell you that I know
whether he was attacked...

or whether he just sank...

or whether he died of exposure...

you know, given that his body
never showed up.

I don't have the answer
to those questions...

but, um, I do know
that I just kept swimming.

Is he all right?

- Would you shut that camera off, please?
- Go that way.

Keep going. Keep going.
It's up this way.

Hey, you know what?
Can I borrow that camera?

Keep looking for them.
They should be up there.

- I don't see anything.
- There's a bunch of people in the water.

Over there.
I see them over there.

- Luce, give me a hand down here, quick.
- I'm here.

- Pull him up.
- I'm here.

Come on.

I can't reach him.

Is he okay?

He's unconscious,
but he's all right. He'll be fine.

Hey, can you grab
that yellow thing that's in the water?

Just hold this camera for me.

Oh, look at that. He got it.

Hey, look,
there's more people out there.

I remember the moment
when the rescue boat pulled up...

and then there was Zak
filming me with a camera.

John, the camera's rolling.
You wanna say something?

Get the hell out of here, Zak.

We believe that two people
have lost their lives.

I don't know who these people are...
that's not, actually, my department.

And a couple of other people
are either injured or traumatized...

uh, a little bit hysterical, so it's been
difficult to get any information out of them...

as to the causes of this tragedy.

My feelings are that something
really went completely bad...

and the accident was created.

We have seen that before.
It has happened before, several times.

I think it was obvious to both of us
that we had been had...

and I-I-I mean...

as far as I'm concerned,
we were had by Zak Penn.

The radio worked
at that particular time...

and, all I know...

a couple of days later,
it wasn't working.

I did go get the rescue boat.
I pulled all of you guys out of the water.

I didn't pull you out of the water, but I
supervised the pulling out of the water...

of every single person
involved in that expedition.

I don't know who is responsible
for the death of Michael and Robert.

Those are tragedies.

Every time that there's even
a minor incident on this loch...

we get members of the public,
we get people from the press...

we get documentary television
people like yourselves.

It's absolute "pandelirium. "

Uh, they're all asking
the same question.

There's one word on everyone's lips, and
that one word is, "The Loch Ness Monster. "

Well, no, in this case, it was just
a tragic accident. That's all I can say.

It was all lies, deceit...

and, in some way, this film
was doomed from the beginning.

I think we shouldn't have
even started the whole thing.

It's one of those films
that didn't want to be made.

To me, it seemed to be
like a stillborn child...

that just didn't
want to come to life.

You know,
I'm a Hollywood screenwriter.

I wanted there to be conflict. I wanted
there to be excitement and adventure.

And I thought that
that had to be created...

and what I learned was I didn't need
to do any of that stuff...

because what was happening to us
was so much more interesting...

than the things
that I was inventing...

and... and that's what's so amazing...

is how much cooler
the truth is than fiction.

Finding the monster
was never my intention...

and so filming it
was strangely unfulfilling.

It left me questioning
not only this experience...

but many things I've done before.

- Michael!
- It made me wonder what I've been after.

All this drama and pain to capture a few
moments of light on a strip of celluloid.

The truth did not seem ecstatic.

It seemed vulgar and pointless.

This is what we set out to do,
and we did it, you know?

I mean, it's pretty amazing.
It was an adventure.

It was epic.
It was... I mean, honestly...

it was like something
out of a Werner Herzog film.

I don't regret any of it,
you know?

Was there a tragedy? Of course there was.
I mean, people died, you know.

That's always tragic, but that's
what happens in any great adventure.

Think about stories from Ancient Greece
or, like, a movie...

or Lord of the Rings or something.

I mean, someone always dies.
That's the way it works.

But, you know,
we achieved something.

I mean, some truth was uncovered.

We dreamt something incredible
and made it real.

The scientific community
is very skeptical...

so what you wanna try to do
is hit as many bases as possible.

Um, eyewitness accounts, for instance,
would represent one base.

Um, you add photographs,
that's two bases.

If you can hit five or more bases,
you've got a home run.

Rarely happens.

Maybe it thinks we are "smackerel"
of something...

a morsel, a good tidbit, a bite.

I mean, what else have we done
that would make it chase us?

You look like a good bite, but I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not a "smackerel. "

When I look back and I hear people
talk about what... about suffering...

I say to myself,
"Who suffered more than I did?"

I mean, other than...
other than the people who died.

I mean, obviously, they... they suffered
more because, well, they're dead...

but you could make the argument
that they're dead...

so they're not really dealing with it.

Whereas I live with the guilt
and I live with the sadness.