All language subtitles for I Love You America s01e21 Sturgill Simpson.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,421 --> 00:00:04,133 ‐ Hey, y'all, it's Sarah, and good grief, 2 00:00:04,133 --> 00:00:05,887 take a look at this terrifying photo of Nazi youth 3 00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:08,183 from 1930s Germany. 4 00:00:08,183 --> 00:00:10,813 JK. That's from this year, 5 00:00:10,813 --> 00:00:13,193 from six months ago, in fact, in Wisconsin. 6 00:00:13,193 --> 00:00:15,698 This is a junior prom pic taken last May 7 00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:18,119 with students from Baraboo High School, 8 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,915 and either their prom theme was, like, 9 00:00:19,915 --> 00:00:21,669 "A Kristallnacht to Remember," 10 00:00:21,669 --> 00:00:24,925 or we have a white supremacist problem on our hands. 11 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,847 The story from the fully grown adult who took the photo 12 00:00:27,847 --> 00:00:30,018 and some of the kids was that they were waving good‐bye 13 00:00:30,018 --> 00:00:31,772 to their parents. 14 00:00:31,772 --> 00:00:34,945 "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! 15 00:00:34,945 --> 00:00:38,368 I'm off to join a really cool new youth movement." 16 00:00:38,368 --> 00:00:40,790 Come on. I know we have a president that shows you 17 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,420 how to lie, but just like with the president, 18 00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,299 we all know you're lying. 19 00:00:45,299 --> 00:00:49,808 The photographer posted this photo on his website for sale. 20 00:00:49,808 --> 00:00:52,021 It's for sale. Who is this for? 21 00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:53,691 Is there a market for this? 22 00:00:53,691 --> 00:00:56,404 Oh, my God, you know what? Don't answer that. 23 00:00:56,404 --> 00:01:00,037 What this picture shows is that at a mere suggestion 24 00:01:00,037 --> 00:01:03,711 an entire group of young white men gave the Nazi salute 25 00:01:03,711 --> 00:01:06,884 with laughing, smiling, joyful faces. 26 00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:08,554 And you're probably saying, "Come on, Sarah, 27 00:01:08,554 --> 00:01:11,560 it was just a joke. Lighten up. You're so PC." 28 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,396 Oh, my God, it was a joke? 29 00:01:13,396 --> 00:01:15,359 [laughing] 30 00:01:15,359 --> 00:01:17,656 That is rich. What a funny, funny joke. 31 00:01:17,656 --> 00:01:19,743 I must not have gotten the nuance 32 00:01:19,743 --> 00:01:21,789 of your funny, funny joke. 33 00:01:21,789 --> 00:01:24,043 Look, I'm not too PC. 34 00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,630 I've dressed up as Hitler. 35 00:01:25,630 --> 00:01:28,844 I've probably made six million Holocaust jokes. 36 00:01:28,844 --> 00:01:31,558 I'm not even gonna go as far to say that you have to be Jewish 37 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,521 to make jokes about Jews. 38 00:01:33,521 --> 00:01:36,527 You just have to not hate Jews. 39 00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:38,823 I think it's safe to say in this picture 40 00:01:38,823 --> 00:01:40,283 there's a percentage of these guys 41 00:01:40,283 --> 00:01:41,954 that are straight‐up anti‐Semitic, 42 00:01:41,954 --> 00:01:44,208 like this guy up front, who sure looks like 43 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:47,549 he's doing the latest white nationalist "okay" symbol 44 00:01:47,549 --> 00:01:49,511 and who may very well cry his way 45 00:01:49,511 --> 00:01:51,890 to a Supreme Court seat someday. 46 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:54,729 I'd say a percentage of them are just ignorant 47 00:01:54,729 --> 00:01:57,652 to the weight of what that particular salute means, 48 00:01:57,652 --> 00:01:59,573 and a percentage are probably just, like, 49 00:01:59,573 --> 00:02:01,492 trying to survive high school. 50 00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:03,998 And all of that added up together 51 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,753 is what makes up a Nazi movement: 52 00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:09,718 ringleaders, followers, and dipshits. 53 00:02:09,718 --> 00:02:12,139 I don't know the names of any of the guys 54 00:02:12,139 --> 00:02:13,976 who made the Nazi salute in that picture‐‐ 55 00:02:13,976 --> 00:02:16,982 though I'm guessing there are, like, 11 Todds‐‐ 56 00:02:16,982 --> 00:02:19,863 but I do know the name of one guy who didn't. 57 00:02:19,863 --> 00:02:21,575 He's this guy in the right corner 58 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,077 looking very unamused. 59 00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:24,664 His name is Jordan Blue 60 00:02:24,664 --> 00:02:27,670 and thank God for the Jordan Blues of the world. 61 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:30,425 In a moment where everyone casually participated 62 00:02:30,425 --> 00:02:33,223 in groupthink, he could recognize hate. 63 00:02:33,223 --> 00:02:34,768 He could recognize it. 64 00:02:34,768 --> 00:02:36,730 Because according to his Instagram account, 65 00:02:36,730 --> 00:02:39,109 Jordan is gay and he said that he's been bullied 66 00:02:39,109 --> 00:02:41,239 by some of these boys since middle school. 67 00:02:41,239 --> 00:02:44,746 He knows what it feels like for bigots and hatemongers 68 00:02:44,746 --> 00:02:47,710 to want to wish people like him out of existence. 69 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,965 It's why, in a split‐second decision, 70 00:02:49,965 --> 00:02:52,720 he knew the difference between right and wrong. 71 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,810 And it's why intersectionality is so important, 72 00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:58,439 because a threat to any marginalized group 73 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:01,153 is a threat against the humanity of all people, 74 00:03:01,153 --> 00:03:03,074 and for every Jordan Blue out there, 75 00:03:03,074 --> 00:03:06,707 there has got to be a Jordan Bluestein who's got his back. 76 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,376 And for every Jordan Bluestein, 77 00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:11,633 there's got to be a Jordana Blue who's got his back. 78 00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:14,514 And if we get to a world where everyone steps up, 79 00:03:14,514 --> 00:03:17,394 maybe one day, there'll even be a Todd Blue. 80 00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:19,106 Here's hoping. 81 00:03:19,106 --> 00:03:21,695 I may not be a Bluestein, but I am a Silverman, 82 00:03:21,695 --> 00:03:23,448 and I got your back, buddy. 83 00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:24,910 Peace! 84 00:03:26,663 --> 00:03:29,628 [Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays] 85 00:03:29,628 --> 00:03:31,464 ♪ ♪ 86 00:03:31,464 --> 00:03:35,055 MAN: ♪ Shave it off, stay alive, open wide ♪ 87 00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:38,771 ♪ Show us how to conquer first and then divide ♪ 88 00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:42,361 CHORUS: ♪ Don't know if we're stayin' long, stayin' long ♪ 89 00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:43,864 ♪ Used to staying weak ♪ 90 00:03:43,864 --> 00:03:46,285 ♪ And now we're staying strong ♪ 91 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:50,043 ♪ We don't wanna go where we do not belong ♪ 92 00:03:50,043 --> 00:03:53,174 ♪ Lonely as the day is long, day is long ♪ 93 00:03:53,174 --> 00:03:55,136 ♪ ♪ 94 00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:58,769 ‐ Guys, come on! Stop it. 95 00:03:58,769 --> 00:04:00,355 [cheers and applause] 96 00:04:00,355 --> 00:04:03,236 Hi, everybody, it's me, Sarah. 97 00:04:03,236 --> 00:04:05,281 Ms. Silverman, if you're nasty, 98 00:04:05,281 --> 00:04:07,411 or if you're just being formal. 99 00:04:07,411 --> 00:04:09,415 Thanksgiving is coming up, you guys, 100 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:10,960 You guys know Thanksgiving, right? 101 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,922 When families and friends all over the country 102 00:04:12,922 --> 00:04:14,884 get together for food and football, 103 00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:17,472 all in remembrance of the one time we were nice 104 00:04:17,472 --> 00:04:20,061 to Indigenous Americans. 105 00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:21,648 It's about getting together 106 00:04:21,648 --> 00:04:23,443 with people you don't agree with 107 00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:26,490 and still loving each other, despite those differences. 108 00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:27,952 Except for Aunt Ruth. 109 00:04:27,952 --> 00:04:31,250 You go fuck yourself, Aunt Ruth. 110 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,587 Nah, I'm just kidding. 111 00:04:32,587 --> 00:04:34,924 Me and Aunt Ruth agree on everything. 112 00:04:34,924 --> 00:04:37,012 Sorry, agreed on everything. 113 00:04:37,012 --> 00:04:38,473 She died on 9/11. 114 00:04:38,473 --> 00:04:41,772 [laughter, groans] 115 00:04:41,772 --> 00:04:43,232 She choked on a pumpkin seed. 116 00:04:43,232 --> 00:04:44,652 Yeah. 117 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,575 Can't believe it's been three years. 118 00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:49,537 Rest in peace, Ruth. 119 00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:51,332 I love you, you son of a bitch. 120 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,044 [laughter] 121 00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:55,925 Now, I know you're used to me doing, uh, epic takedowns 122 00:04:55,925 --> 00:04:58,847 of our corrupt government, but since it is Thanksgiving, 123 00:04:58,847 --> 00:05:01,268 I would like to take some time 124 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,857 and talk about what I am thankful for, 125 00:05:03,857 --> 00:05:06,905 and I am thankful, uh, for Donald Trump. 126 00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:09,869 Oh! Oh, my God, I just shuddered, I think. 127 00:05:09,869 --> 00:05:11,998 I never knew what that was before. 128 00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:15,965 Uh, no, but I am. I am thankful for Donald Trump. 129 00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:18,010 Not the way I'm thankful for my family, 130 00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:21,142 or for, like, my butt wipes, but... 131 00:05:21,142 --> 00:05:23,396 Like the way an addict is thankful 132 00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:25,526 for hitting rock bottom. 133 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:30,201 I think that Trump, taint waffle that he is, 134 00:05:30,201 --> 00:05:32,957 has‐‐he's actually done some good. 135 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,836 You know, I mean, not him personally. 136 00:05:34,836 --> 00:05:37,424 He's actually done‐‐you know, he's a piece of shit‐‐ 137 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,637 he's, uh‐‐oh, there might be kids watching. 138 00:05:39,637 --> 00:05:43,896 He's a piece of S‐H‐I‐twat. 139 00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:46,902 Yes, he's personally done a lot of harm. 140 00:05:46,902 --> 00:05:49,532 Uh, he has put kids in cages, 141 00:05:49,532 --> 00:05:52,037 he's nominated an alleged sexual assaulter 142 00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:54,584 to the Supreme Court, he ordered a Muslim ban, 143 00:05:54,584 --> 00:05:57,172 reignited the white supremacy movement, 144 00:05:57,172 --> 00:06:00,846 redefined gender to exclude already marginalized people, 145 00:06:00,846 --> 00:06:02,390 threatened California 146 00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:04,812 during a catastrophic wildfire disaster‐‐ 147 00:06:04,812 --> 00:06:06,357 [sighs] You know what? 148 00:06:06,357 --> 00:06:07,860 This is just gonna take up the whole show. 149 00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,530 I‐‐ 150 00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:12,620 Deb, can you just scroll through the end of the list? 151 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,291 Go, go, go, go... 152 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,715 Enemy of the people, shithole countries... 153 00:06:18,715 --> 00:06:19,968 Go, keep going. 154 00:06:19,968 --> 00:06:21,680 Okay, stop. Perfect. 155 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,266 Thank you. [clears throat] 156 00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:25,270 And worst of all, he's ruined, like, 157 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:26,815 every article of clothing. 158 00:06:26,815 --> 00:06:30,154 Red hats, big ties, polo shirts. 159 00:06:30,154 --> 00:06:34,329 Like, now what am I supposed to wear to feel sexy? 160 00:06:34,329 --> 00:06:37,962 But Trump's presence has actually caused good. 161 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,759 It's like‐‐ like the butterfly effect. 162 00:06:40,759 --> 00:06:44,349 Trump is the butterfly that farts in Japan, 163 00:06:44,349 --> 00:06:46,646 and through a series of chain reactions, 164 00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:50,946 a child learns how to read in Cincinnati, Ohio. 165 00:06:50,946 --> 00:06:52,658 What I'm trying to say is, 166 00:06:52,658 --> 00:06:55,329 Donald Trump is a butterfly fart, 167 00:06:55,329 --> 00:06:56,791 and here are some good things 168 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,046 he has unintentionally triggered. 169 00:06:59,046 --> 00:07:02,302 This year, a record number of women ran for and won 170 00:07:02,302 --> 00:07:03,680 House and Senate seats. 171 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,308 And that record number of women... 172 00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:08,314 [cheers and applause] 173 00:07:08,314 --> 00:07:09,901 That record number of women 174 00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,447 includes many Congressional firsts: 175 00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:15,704 the youngest woman, the first Native Americans, 176 00:07:15,704 --> 00:07:18,794 uh, the first Muslims, the first lesbian mom, 177 00:07:18,794 --> 00:07:21,549 and the first woman with bleach blonde pubes. 178 00:07:21,549 --> 00:07:23,260 [laughter] 179 00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:26,016 I'm not gonna say who it is, but... 180 00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:29,272 I mean, we can rule out Diane Feinstein. 181 00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:30,483 Or can we? 182 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,112 [laughter] 183 00:07:32,112 --> 00:07:33,657 And how about this? 184 00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:36,286 When Colin Kaepernick risked his entire career 185 00:07:36,286 --> 00:07:38,499 and started kneeling in peaceful protest 186 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,877 of police brutality, 187 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,965 Trump's stupid fucking Tweets about it‐‐ 188 00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:44,929 which I can only assume he fired off with sweaty thumbs 189 00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:48,562 while squeezing fat loafs on the John‐‐ 190 00:07:48,562 --> 00:07:51,358 brought the issue to a national conversation, 191 00:07:51,358 --> 00:07:54,574 shedding light on‐‐ on racial inequality 192 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,619 and police brutality. 193 00:07:56,619 --> 00:07:59,834 Basically, more people and issues are visible 194 00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:01,295 just based on the motive 195 00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:03,884 of Trump trying to make them invisible. 196 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:07,600 Congress in 2019 will be the least white and least male 197 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,311 of all time. 198 00:08:09,311 --> 00:08:12,943 [cheers and applause] 199 00:08:12,943 --> 00:08:15,991 Our Congress will look a little less like a country club 200 00:08:15,991 --> 00:08:19,122 and a little more like‐‐ uh, like our country. 201 00:08:19,122 --> 00:08:21,669 [cheers and applause] 202 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:24,132 More people of color, more women, 203 00:08:24,132 --> 00:08:26,053 more young people turned out to vote, 204 00:08:26,053 --> 00:08:29,184 despite voter suppression efforts and bad weather. 205 00:08:29,184 --> 00:08:31,313 Not like bad weather would keep anyone 206 00:08:31,313 --> 00:08:32,566 from doing their civic duty. 207 00:08:32,566 --> 00:08:34,486 [laughter, groans] 208 00:08:34,486 --> 00:08:37,785 Of course. Why didn't he just bring an umbrella, by the way? 209 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,079 [laughter] 210 00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:42,043 Oh. [Scottish accent] Right. 211 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:45,634 But, in general, our butterfly queef of a president 212 00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:47,763 has made us more aware. 213 00:08:47,763 --> 00:08:50,351 He is begging for us to pay attention. 214 00:08:50,351 --> 00:08:52,313 Trump is the guy at a house party 215 00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:53,900 who is doing lines of coke 216 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,904 right in the middle of the living room. 217 00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:58,785 Like, at least the rest of the party has the self‐awareness 218 00:08:58,785 --> 00:09:01,331 to do that shit in the bathroom. 219 00:09:01,331 --> 00:09:03,503 And, in keeping with the coke analogy, 220 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:05,716 he will not shut up. 221 00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:07,218 "Anyone want to build a wall? 222 00:09:07,218 --> 00:09:08,972 "We're gonna fucking build a beautiful wall. 223 00:09:08,972 --> 00:09:10,767 "Oh, fuck yeah. I had the biggest fucking crowd 224 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,230 "at my inauguration. It was like the fucking biggest. 225 00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:15,569 "There were, like, 100 billion people there. 226 00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:17,113 "You wanna dance? Anyone wanna dance? 227 00:09:17,113 --> 00:09:18,490 "Like, someone turn on music. 228 00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:20,328 We should all, like, make up a dance." 229 00:09:20,328 --> 00:09:22,708 [laughter] 230 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:26,131 He's the worst, uh, but his shamelessness, 231 00:09:26,131 --> 00:09:28,803 brought to light things that were going on in the dark. 232 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:30,431 We can see them now. 233 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:34,314 He is like a black light at a Holiday Inn Express, 234 00:09:34,314 --> 00:09:37,320 exposing America's fecal‐covered handprints 235 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,159 and neon cum stains. 236 00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:42,246 Or even at a Ritz‐Carlton. 237 00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:45,545 What, you think, uh, rich people don't jizz on remotes? 238 00:09:45,545 --> 00:09:47,423 [laughter] 239 00:09:47,423 --> 00:09:50,681 As a rich person, I can tell you, we do. 240 00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:51,849 [laughter] 241 00:09:51,849 --> 00:09:53,268 [chuckles] 242 00:09:53,268 --> 00:09:55,314 [applause] 243 00:09:55,314 --> 00:09:58,571 So in a fucked up way, I am thankful for Donald Trump, 244 00:09:58,571 --> 00:10:00,408 because he made us pay attention. 245 00:10:00,408 --> 00:10:02,996 We can't not pay attention. 246 00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:06,629 When Obama became president, we got a little complacent. 247 00:10:06,629 --> 00:10:08,883 I mean, we had a‐‐a cognizant, 248 00:10:08,883 --> 00:10:11,096 empathetic human being in office 249 00:10:11,096 --> 00:10:13,935 who didn't stare directly into the sun during an eclipse. 250 00:10:13,935 --> 00:10:16,314 [laughter] 251 00:10:16,314 --> 00:10:17,818 With Obama, we thought everything 252 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,237 was on the right track, 253 00:10:19,237 --> 00:10:21,491 but the truth is, we weren't even close. 254 00:10:21,491 --> 00:10:22,995 During his presidency, 255 00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:25,458 Democrats lost both the House and Senate, 256 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,088 and nearly 1,000 state legislative seats. 257 00:10:28,088 --> 00:10:31,011 He failed to prosecute a single Wall Street criminal 258 00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:33,683 who caused the 2008 financial crisis, 259 00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:35,269 he authorized drone strikes 260 00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:37,691 that killed nearly 4,000 people, 261 00:10:37,691 --> 00:10:41,616 and he only predicted the Men's NCAA basketball champion once 262 00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:42,826 in eight years. 263 00:10:42,826 --> 00:10:44,955 I mean, come on, Barry. 264 00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,918 Even I picked more winners, 265 00:10:46,918 --> 00:10:49,882 and I fill out my bracket based on who has the hottest coach. 266 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,428 [laughter] 267 00:10:52,428 --> 00:10:55,811 Look, Trump may not be the president we want, 268 00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:58,315 but he may be the president we deserve. 269 00:10:58,315 --> 00:11:01,196 The constant reminder that democracy takes effort 270 00:11:01,196 --> 00:11:02,908 and must be protected. 271 00:11:02,908 --> 00:11:05,120 He represents a cancer that a‐‐ 272 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,751 that's always right below the surface in this country‐‐ 273 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:11,007 racism, xenophobia, fear of other‐‐ 274 00:11:11,007 --> 00:11:13,930 but at least now it's something we can see. 275 00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:15,684 It's something we can point to. 276 00:11:15,684 --> 00:11:18,731 He's like the black light shining on our jizzy, jizzy, 277 00:11:18,731 --> 00:11:21,027 jizz‐stained country. 278 00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:23,031 And that's what I'm grateful for. 279 00:11:23,031 --> 00:11:24,618 Happy Thanksgiving, America. 280 00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:25,954 Gobble, gobble. 281 00:11:25,954 --> 00:11:28,960 [cheers and applause] 282 00:11:35,222 --> 00:11:37,728 You know, I've often wondered what would it be like 283 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:41,026 to be the mouthpiece for an American fascist regime. 284 00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:43,781 Well, wonder no more, me. Take a look! 285 00:11:43,781 --> 00:11:45,200 ALL: Sarah! Sarah! 286 00:11:47,246 --> 00:11:50,002 ‐ I actually can say with all honesty, 287 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:53,383 President Trump did not commit a crime. 288 00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,262 All right, next question. 289 00:11:58,686 --> 00:12:01,232 ‐ I can't confirm that he had a sexual relationship 290 00:12:01,232 --> 00:12:03,780 with Karen McDougal, but I can confirm that he has 291 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:07,119 a sexual relationship with the Bacon McGriddle. 292 00:12:07,119 --> 00:12:08,163 Next? 293 00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:15,135 ‐ Yeah, sorry, that was miscommunicated. 294 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,724 He promised to get the best peephole. 295 00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:19,728 It's actually‐‐ it's a hole 296 00:12:19,728 --> 00:12:21,774 in the women's bathroom that he can look through 297 00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,153 when he's punching his penis. 298 00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:25,740 Ah. 299 00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:27,828 Nope. Next question. Dummy? 300 00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:31,376 ‐ Well, you know, he wasn't shown love 301 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,756 in his formative years, and he was taught 302 00:12:33,756 --> 00:12:36,721 that his only value was money, you know, 303 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,558 and he didn't earn his money. 304 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,227 You know, he was constantly given it from his father... 305 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,064 That's when he, like, started, you know, 306 00:12:42,064 --> 00:12:44,485 gold‐plating everything and wearing suits 307 00:12:44,485 --> 00:12:47,408 that matched his car, and he never really 308 00:12:47,408 --> 00:12:50,623 emotionally grew past, like, eight years old... 309 00:12:50,623 --> 00:12:54,297 His mother had this, like, odd disdain for him, 310 00:12:54,297 --> 00:12:56,719 and because of it, he‐‐ he, you know, 311 00:12:56,719 --> 00:13:00,560 reenacted the trauma through copying her hair. 312 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,771 ALL: Sarah. Sarah. SARAH: Who else? 313 00:13:04,777 --> 00:13:06,697 ‐ Yeah. 314 00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,075 You know why? 315 00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:10,914 [whispering] 'Cause I'm fucking crazy. 316 00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:12,709 ALL: Sarah. ‐ Yes. Pencil Neck. 317 00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:20,767 ‐ The future! Jerry, did you hear that? 318 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:24,232 How cute is that? Sweetie, it's the end of days. 319 00:13:24,232 --> 00:13:25,652 All right, I gotta go. 320 00:13:25,652 --> 00:13:27,739 Uh, don't be enemies of the people. 321 00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:29,701 Peace! 322 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:32,666 [Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays] 323 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:40,723 [Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays] 324 00:13:40,723 --> 00:13:42,309 ‐ You know, a lot of people are saying, 325 00:13:42,309 --> 00:13:43,771 "Where's your dad this season?" 326 00:13:43,771 --> 00:13:45,775 And here's my answer: He's right here! 327 00:13:45,775 --> 00:13:47,654 Soak him up before he's gone. 328 00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:50,618 The older you get, the older your parents get, 329 00:13:50,618 --> 00:13:52,121 and God willing, if things happen 330 00:13:52,121 --> 00:13:54,500 in the natural order, they will die. 331 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,632 Two‐thirds of Americans don't have a death plan. 332 00:13:57,632 --> 00:14:02,182 That costs America 1.7 billion dollars a year. 333 00:14:02,182 --> 00:14:05,272 My dad is 81, so I wanted to show you 334 00:14:05,272 --> 00:14:08,613 just how important it is to take your elderly parents, 335 00:14:08,613 --> 00:14:10,617 bring them on your television show, 336 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,369 and make a plan for their death. 337 00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:15,292 ‐ Jesus fucking Christ. ‐ Zip it. You're fine. 338 00:14:15,292 --> 00:14:16,670 ‐ Oh, shit. 339 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:18,173 SARAH: The average life expectancy 340 00:14:18,173 --> 00:14:20,553 for an American male is 76. 341 00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:23,016 This is my dad, and he's 81, 342 00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:24,519 which means he's kept Satan waiting 343 00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:25,897 for five whole years. 344 00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:28,276 Hey, Dr. Spector. 345 00:14:28,276 --> 00:14:29,696 ‐ Hello, there. SARAH: Step one: 346 00:14:29,696 --> 00:14:31,282 take him to a doctor. ‐ How are you? 347 00:14:31,282 --> 00:14:33,286 DONALD: Nice to meet you. ‐ This is my dad, Donald. 348 00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:36,417 SARAH: So I brought my dad to see Dr. Todd Spector. 349 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,340 So we're just here because he's getting old, 350 00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,386 and I feel like we should make a plan. 351 00:14:41,386 --> 00:14:42,764 TODD: Typically, what I like to do 352 00:14:42,764 --> 00:14:44,308 is I like people to have what's called 353 00:14:44,308 --> 00:14:46,229 an advanced directive, which is a document. 354 00:14:46,229 --> 00:14:49,318 It's very simple and very clear about the way 355 00:14:49,318 --> 00:14:50,905 that you would like your affairs handled 356 00:14:50,905 --> 00:14:53,619 if you couldn't give an opinion about how, 357 00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:55,497 usually because of a medical condition. 358 00:14:55,497 --> 00:14:57,794 ‐ I told my wife at what point 359 00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:59,589 I would want her to pull the plug. 360 00:14:59,589 --> 00:15:02,469 ‐ Okay. ‐ See if I can have an orgasm. 361 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:05,100 And if I can't have an orgasm, pull the plug. 362 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,269 TODD: [laughing] Okay. 363 00:15:06,269 --> 00:15:07,939 That's very clear. 364 00:15:07,939 --> 00:15:09,066 ‐ That's very disgusting. 365 00:15:09,066 --> 00:15:10,695 TODD: [laughs] 366 00:15:10,695 --> 00:15:13,033 I think we could put some sharp lines around it 367 00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:15,370 and make it clear to anybody. 368 00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:17,041 Let's say you're brought in to the hospital 369 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,753 and you're unconscious, and I'm standing 370 00:15:18,753 --> 00:15:20,923 at the bedside and I say, "Look, it doesn't look like 371 00:15:20,923 --> 00:15:23,011 "he's gonna be able to have a meaningful recovery. 372 00:15:23,011 --> 00:15:24,890 "In my opinion, we should let nature 373 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,478 take its course and not resuscitate him." 374 00:15:27,478 --> 00:15:28,689 Would that be okay with you? 375 00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:30,358 ‐ Oh, yeah. 376 00:15:30,358 --> 00:15:31,904 ‐ So that's what we refer to as "do not resuscitate." 377 00:15:31,904 --> 00:15:35,452 ‐ Yes, I do not wish to have invasive surgery 378 00:15:35,452 --> 00:15:39,376 that will hurt me or make me uncomfortable. 379 00:15:39,376 --> 00:15:42,675 ‐ How about something like a breathing tube? 380 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,053 ‐ Yeah, no. 381 00:15:44,053 --> 00:15:46,683 ‐ Okay. ‐ I do not want to suffer. 382 00:15:46,683 --> 00:15:49,564 I do not want to live as a vegetable. 383 00:15:49,564 --> 00:15:53,446 ‐ You don't mind being ugly? ‐ [laughs] 384 00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:56,244 All right, so I think that we have clarified 385 00:15:56,244 --> 00:15:59,083 really what your end‐of‐life wishes would be. 386 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,212 Do you guys have any other questions for me about this? 387 00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:04,385 ‐ How soon can this happen? ‐ [laughs] 388 00:16:04,385 --> 00:16:06,472 ‐ My dad has these really weird elbows. 389 00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:07,892 They're, like, filled with fluid. 390 00:16:07,892 --> 00:16:09,228 I don't know if you could take a look. 391 00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:10,898 ‐ Of course. 392 00:16:10,898 --> 00:16:13,821 SARAH: They're like bags of water or something. 393 00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:15,825 Like, is that something he could donate? 394 00:16:15,825 --> 00:16:17,829 TODD: That is probably not something that anybody 395 00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:20,417 would put in their body, but it is not dangerous. 396 00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:21,795 It'll never cause you any problems. 397 00:16:21,795 --> 00:16:23,423 ‐ It's got so much fluid in there, 398 00:16:23,423 --> 00:16:25,845 you could, like, solve the Flint crisis. 399 00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:27,599 Will you also look at his feet 400 00:16:27,599 --> 00:16:29,310 or just one of his feet, even just to look at it? 401 00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:31,523 TODD: Happy to. Happy to. 402 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,736 DONALD: They cut off three toes, 403 00:16:33,736 --> 00:16:36,825 and they took one of the toes and they cut it up 404 00:16:36,825 --> 00:16:38,913 and they put two stumps there. 405 00:16:38,913 --> 00:16:40,791 TODD: It looks like you have had a very good doctor 406 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:41,793 working on your feet in the past. 407 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,505 DONALD: Oh, I have. 408 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:44,758 ‐ I mean, maybe you could‐‐ this could be something 409 00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:47,429 that you think about donating. 410 00:16:47,429 --> 00:16:48,682 ‐ To a medical school? 411 00:16:48,682 --> 00:16:50,477 ‐ No, to the circus. 412 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,481 ‐ You little shit. 413 00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:53,609 ♪ ♪ 414 00:16:53,609 --> 00:16:54,945 SARAH: Okay. Well. 415 00:16:54,945 --> 00:16:56,531 Thank you so much. 416 00:16:56,531 --> 00:16:59,704 This has been heavy, kind of. 417 00:16:59,704 --> 00:17:00,957 But you know what, Dad? 418 00:17:00,957 --> 00:17:02,251 I think I know the perfect place 419 00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:03,671 that's gonna cheer you up. 420 00:17:03,671 --> 00:17:05,716 ♪ ♪ 421 00:17:05,716 --> 00:17:08,096 Just kidding. I took him to a mortuary. 422 00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:10,100 ♪ ♪ 423 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,104 And I invited my step‐mom, Janice, 424 00:17:12,104 --> 00:17:14,651 who's been married to my dad for over 40 years 425 00:17:14,651 --> 00:17:17,281 and who will never be my real mother, never. 426 00:17:17,281 --> 00:17:18,993 Let's go check it out. 427 00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:20,579 GIO: Hello, Sarah. ‐ Hey, Gio. 428 00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:21,707 Thank you for meeting with us. 429 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,084 ‐ Hey, nice to meet you too. 430 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,796 ‐ It would be illegal to just bury him 431 00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:27,134 in a shallow grave in our yard, right? 432 00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:29,013 ‐ Why? 433 00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:30,516 ‐ Don't worry about why. 434 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,352 It's hypothetical. 435 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,983 ‐ Do you have any caskets where Janice can be 436 00:17:34,983 --> 00:17:37,321 on top of me, when she dies? 437 00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:39,909 ‐ Not necessarily that way, but what we do is double‐vault. 438 00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:41,287 ‐ No, I want her on top of me. 439 00:17:41,287 --> 00:17:43,333 ‐ You want‐‐you don't‐‐ ‐ Why? 440 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,420 ‐ Oh, 'cause she's so sweet and nice. 441 00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:47,007 ‐ Yeah. [chuckles] 442 00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:48,426 ‐ He can get cremated too, right? 443 00:17:48,426 --> 00:17:49,512 GIO: Yes, there's also cremation options 444 00:17:49,512 --> 00:17:51,057 that we provide. 445 00:17:51,057 --> 00:17:53,646 ‐ Could we shoot his ashes from a cannon‐‐ 446 00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:57,110 wait for it‐‐ into another cannon? 447 00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:00,241 ‐ Um, there won't be any permits issued for any of that. 448 00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:03,414 ‐ I really want to be biodegradable somewhere, 449 00:18:03,414 --> 00:18:05,251 just put in a sack. 450 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,755 ‐ That's definitely not what I want. 451 00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:09,301 Not that way. I want the nicest casket. 452 00:18:09,301 --> 00:18:11,890 But I also want to be by your dad. 453 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:15,438 DONALD: Janice, we'll be dead. Just remember what I want. 454 00:18:15,438 --> 00:18:18,529 ♪ The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out ♪ 455 00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:21,158 ♪ The worms play pinochle on your snout ♪ 456 00:18:21,158 --> 00:18:24,541 That's living, as being dead. 457 00:18:24,541 --> 00:18:28,172 SARAH: Janice is getting a state‐of‐the‐art casket 458 00:18:28,172 --> 00:18:31,763 with a string that rings a bell in case she's alive. 459 00:18:31,763 --> 00:18:34,435 ‐ Oh, thank you so much for your consideration. 460 00:18:34,435 --> 00:18:36,313 ‐ I know my parents. ‐ [laughs] 461 00:18:36,313 --> 00:18:39,738 SARAH: We went over a ton of excellent dying options today, 462 00:18:39,738 --> 00:18:42,869 so for posterity and also because I couldn't 463 00:18:42,869 --> 00:18:45,206 make sense of half the things my dad said, 464 00:18:45,206 --> 00:18:46,960 I asked him to make a video will 465 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,421 with all of his commandments. 466 00:18:48,421 --> 00:18:51,511 ‐ Hello, my name is Donald Silverman, 467 00:18:51,511 --> 00:18:53,932 and I want to leave a living will 468 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:56,897 so that my children and our grandchildren 469 00:18:56,897 --> 00:19:00,863 will know what to do when I'm at the end of my life. 470 00:19:00,863 --> 00:19:02,533 I don't have anything to give anybody. 471 00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:05,998 I got old clothes. I got old shoes. 472 00:19:05,998 --> 00:19:07,794 If there's somebody who wants my Timex watch, 473 00:19:07,794 --> 00:19:10,340 it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. 474 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:13,012 My favorite food is a McDonald's chocolate milkshake. 475 00:19:13,012 --> 00:19:17,814 If I can't enjoy that anymore, uh, pull the plug. 476 00:19:17,814 --> 00:19:21,070 I don't believe that there's any heaven or hell, 477 00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:24,368 so I don't need any‐‐ to be in fear. 478 00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:26,623 Um, I don't care if you even come to my funeral 479 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:30,631 to celebrate my life or not or cry when I die. 480 00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:33,679 Just, uh, figure that I did my best, 481 00:19:33,679 --> 00:19:35,766 had a good time while I was here. 482 00:19:35,766 --> 00:19:37,854 Sometimes when you're sitting around bullshitting, 483 00:19:37,854 --> 00:19:42,572 talk about me a little bit and let me go as easy as possible. 484 00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:44,074 That's it. I love my daughters. 485 00:19:44,074 --> 00:19:47,289 I love my grandchildren. I love my Janice. 486 00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:49,001 I've had a goddamn good life. 487 00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:52,007 Now let me die in peace. 488 00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:54,762 ‐ I love you, Daddy. 489 00:19:54,762 --> 00:19:57,309 DONALD: Mm! 490 00:19:57,309 --> 00:20:00,398 ♪ The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out ♪ 491 00:20:00,398 --> 00:20:03,572 ♪ The worms play pinochle on your snout ♪ 492 00:20:03,572 --> 00:20:05,366 [cheers and applause] 493 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,544 [Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays] 494 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,255 [applause] 495 00:20:12,255 --> 00:20:15,554 ‐ All my next guest needs is three chords and the truth. 496 00:20:15,554 --> 00:20:17,767 And eight cups of water a day 497 00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:19,520 because you have to stay hydrated, 498 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,944 and I'm that serious. I love his music. 499 00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:26,325 Please welcome Grammy‐winning musician Sturgill Simpson. 500 00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:29,331 [cheers and applause] 501 00:20:34,341 --> 00:20:35,970 You've always wanted to be a musician, 502 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:38,558 you've always been a musician, 503 00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:41,690 but you didn't really follow y‐your dream right away. 504 00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:45,363 You‐‐you, on a whim, joined the Navy... 505 00:20:45,363 --> 00:20:46,490 ‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ Didn't even put thought 506 00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:47,827 into it. ‐ Not really. 507 00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:50,164 SARAH: Worked at IHOP. 508 00:20:50,164 --> 00:20:52,377 ‐ How'd you know that? 509 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,964 ‐ Have you seen you? 510 00:20:53,964 --> 00:20:55,634 ‐ Right. SARAH: Um... 511 00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:57,722 Worked on the railroad! 512 00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:59,433 ‐ That happened. 513 00:20:59,433 --> 00:21:02,480 ‐ And‐‐but what is it that‐‐ like, what did it take 514 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,861 for you to finally follow your dream? 515 00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:07,449 ‐ The railroad and the military are very similar. 516 00:21:07,449 --> 00:21:10,329 They're very tyrannical environments, and, uh, 517 00:21:10,329 --> 00:21:12,793 uh, you know, everything‐‐ 518 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,173 every sentence usually ends with, "Or you're fired," 519 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:18,638 and so I just adapted very easily into that, 520 00:21:18,638 --> 00:21:21,603 and, uh, after about four years, woke up 521 00:21:21,603 --> 00:21:23,857 one day and found myself in a management position, 522 00:21:23,857 --> 00:21:25,569 which I never really asked for, 523 00:21:25,569 --> 00:21:29,326 and just sort of hit vapor lock, you know. 524 00:21:29,326 --> 00:21:31,664 Just working the job and like 90‐hour weeks, 525 00:21:31,664 --> 00:21:33,250 and I was just like, "There's gotta be..." 526 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,508 So as a‐‐as a, I guess, a stress mechanism, 527 00:21:36,508 --> 00:21:40,181 for the first time in a few years, I started playing 528 00:21:40,181 --> 00:21:41,684 and writing again at night. 529 00:21:41,684 --> 00:21:44,439 And my wife just sort of was like, "Hey, dumbass, 530 00:21:44,439 --> 00:21:46,694 "you know, you should maybe just try to... 531 00:21:46,694 --> 00:21:48,280 to do that." 532 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,449 ‐ Yeah. ‐ "You don't suck at that." 533 00:21:49,449 --> 00:21:51,203 You know? I mean... 534 00:21:51,203 --> 00:21:53,834 So we did. We sold all our shit and moved the Nashville, 535 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:56,881 and that was‐‐ I'm glad I listened to her, 536 00:21:56,881 --> 00:21:58,593 thinking about it. 537 00:21:58,593 --> 00:22:01,724 ‐ Well, it's like a year ago, practically tonight, 538 00:22:01,724 --> 00:22:04,396 you were busking outside the CMAs. 539 00:22:04,396 --> 00:22:05,524 ‐ Wow. SARAH: That was‐‐ 540 00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,360 I watched it live on Facebook. 541 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,699 I was giddy with excitement. It was very good. 542 00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:11,410 ‐ A lot of people don't even know why I did that. 543 00:22:11,410 --> 00:22:14,834 Um, it was really a reaction to a blanket statement 544 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,295 that they issued about‐‐ 545 00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:18,633 it was right after the Vegas massacre, 546 00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:20,721 and they sa‐‐the CMA sent out a blanket statement 547 00:22:20,721 --> 00:22:22,600 to any and all‐‐any press saying that there's gonna be 548 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,856 no questions about gun control or President Trump or any‐‐ 549 00:22:25,856 --> 00:22:28,444 you know, basically, like... 550 00:22:28,444 --> 00:22:30,741 "Don't talk about anything about making money," 551 00:22:30,741 --> 00:22:31,743 because this is a sales convention. 552 00:22:31,743 --> 00:22:33,037 All these awards‐‐ 553 00:22:33,037 --> 00:22:34,289 ‐ It's a fucking sales convention! 554 00:22:34,289 --> 00:22:35,709 ‐ Yeah. ‐ If it was really about 555 00:22:35,709 --> 00:22:37,630 country, country is about being outlaw, 556 00:22:37,630 --> 00:22:39,592 being badass, telling the truth. ‐ But look, it's not just them. 557 00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,178 ‐ Being raw. ‐ It's all. 558 00:22:41,178 --> 00:22:42,806 Like, whether it's the American Music Awards, 559 00:22:42,806 --> 00:22:45,604 the Grammy Awards, like all these things exist 560 00:22:45,604 --> 00:22:47,398 to sustain the music business. 561 00:22:47,398 --> 00:22:49,277 They don't exist to... 562 00:22:49,277 --> 00:22:50,906 it's‐‐it has little to nothing to do 563 00:22:50,906 --> 00:22:52,033 with the artist being recognized. 564 00:22:52,033 --> 00:22:54,204 ‐ I would say country music‐‐ 565 00:22:54,204 --> 00:22:56,124 you'd know more than me‐‐ 566 00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:57,670 STURGILL: Not really. I‐‐ ‐ Like, the Country Music Awards 567 00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:59,507 would be more careful about that 568 00:22:59,507 --> 00:23:02,721 because the people who fill their coffer, specifically, 569 00:23:02,721 --> 00:23:06,270 are more NRA‐based and shit like that. 570 00:23:06,270 --> 00:23:07,648 ‐ Absolutely. You ca‐‐ 571 00:23:07,648 --> 00:23:09,109 SARAH: But I wouldn't say the artists are. 572 00:23:09,109 --> 00:23:11,531 ‐ Yeah, they're‐‐you know, you can't... 573 00:23:11,531 --> 00:23:16,081 be mad at them for not wanting to isolate their fan base, 574 00:23:16,081 --> 00:23:17,292 but that's‐‐ ‐ I can. 575 00:23:17,292 --> 00:23:18,586 I can do whatever the fuck I want. 576 00:23:18,586 --> 00:23:19,964 STURGILL: Yeah, no. 577 00:23:19,964 --> 00:23:21,676 To answer your question, it's something 578 00:23:21,676 --> 00:23:25,266 that I've come to realize that I just‐‐ 579 00:23:25,266 --> 00:23:27,478 I don't know how much I have, even left to contribute 580 00:23:27,478 --> 00:23:30,902 to that conversation at this point in my career, 'cause I‐‐ 581 00:23:30,902 --> 00:23:33,992 It has nothing to do with me, or what I'm doing, 582 00:23:33,992 --> 00:23:35,746 and they've‐‐they've made it very clear 583 00:23:35,746 --> 00:23:37,624 they want nothing to do with me, so it's just‐‐ 584 00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:39,920 I see it as a blessing now, really. 585 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,175 'Cause there's all these other avenues and paths 586 00:23:42,175 --> 00:23:44,889 that "country musicians" maybe‐‐ 587 00:23:44,889 --> 00:23:47,603 I don't‐‐I‐‐we just finished a record last week 588 00:23:47,603 --> 00:23:49,815 I've been working on for a year. 589 00:23:49,815 --> 00:23:51,694 It's definitely not a country record. 590 00:23:51,694 --> 00:23:53,656 You know, I can't question these things. 591 00:23:53,656 --> 00:23:58,583 You just gotta put art on your timeline, first, 592 00:23:58,583 --> 00:24:01,380 and all the other shit really doesn't matter, 593 00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:03,092 I guess is what I've come to see and realize. 594 00:24:03,092 --> 00:24:05,179 SARAH: We have to know what genre you are 595 00:24:05,179 --> 00:24:06,724 to list you in iTunes. 596 00:24:06,724 --> 00:24:09,187 [laughter] 597 00:24:09,187 --> 00:24:11,024 ‐ Yeah. SARAH: You wrote a song 598 00:24:11,024 --> 00:24:15,032 about me, um... 599 00:24:15,032 --> 00:24:16,577 I like to think it's about me. 600 00:24:16,577 --> 00:24:17,746 It's called "Oh, Sarah." 601 00:24:17,746 --> 00:24:20,334 Is your wife's name Sarah? Yes. 602 00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:22,631 But that's a coincidence and that doesn't mean... 603 00:24:22,631 --> 00:24:23,842 [laughter] 604 00:24:23,842 --> 00:24:26,012 That it's about her. ‐ No. 605 00:24:26,012 --> 00:24:28,935 ‐ It's not even about Sarah, because you're‐‐ 606 00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:31,899 ‐ It's all about me. ‐ It's all about fucking you! 607 00:24:31,899 --> 00:24:34,154 ‐ [laughs] Right. ‐ You're just talking to Sarah. 608 00:24:34,154 --> 00:24:36,241 ‐ Right. ‐ So will you sing... 609 00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:37,703 [groans] 610 00:24:37,703 --> 00:24:38,705 A little of it? 611 00:24:38,705 --> 00:24:40,959 And I'm gonna pretend 612 00:24:40,959 --> 00:24:42,588 that you're talking to me. 613 00:24:42,588 --> 00:24:44,466 [laughter] 614 00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:46,261 ‐ You're totally blowing your chance 615 00:24:46,261 --> 00:24:48,182 of being my wife's best friend, but yeah, I'll‐‐ 616 00:24:48,182 --> 00:24:52,356 ‐ What? Come on! Sarah 1 and Sarah 2! 617 00:24:52,356 --> 00:24:53,651 She's Sarah 2. 618 00:24:53,651 --> 00:24:55,822 [laughter] 619 00:24:55,822 --> 00:24:57,074 ‐ Damn. 620 00:24:57,074 --> 00:24:58,953 ‐ All right, we owe Sarah 621 00:24:58,953 --> 00:25:01,626 for you even fucking being here. 622 00:25:01,626 --> 00:25:03,086 In the world. 623 00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:06,051 [playing "Oh, Sarah"] 624 00:25:06,051 --> 00:25:11,061 ♪ ♪ 625 00:25:19,285 --> 00:25:21,916 ‐ ♪ Oh, Sarah, here we go again ♪ 626 00:25:21,916 --> 00:25:23,503 ♪ ♪ 627 00:25:23,503 --> 00:25:25,464 ♪ I can't get past the pain ♪ 628 00:25:25,464 --> 00:25:28,972 ♪ Of what I want to say to you ♪ 629 00:25:28,972 --> 00:25:34,357 ♪ I'm too old now to learn how to let you win ♪ 630 00:25:34,357 --> 00:25:37,906 ♪ So I run away just like I always do ♪ 631 00:25:37,906 --> 00:25:39,660 ♪ ♪ 632 00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:42,290 ♪ She said if there's something I should know ♪ 633 00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:44,920 ♪ Tell me now ♪ 634 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,928 ♪ Before I go and give my heart away ♪ 635 00:25:48,928 --> 00:25:50,139 ♪ ♪ 636 00:25:50,139 --> 00:25:53,103 ♪ So I can get on with my life ♪ 637 00:25:53,103 --> 00:25:55,692 ♪ You can go on with your strife ♪ 638 00:25:55,692 --> 00:25:59,658 ♪ Wish you'd speak the words those eyes are trying to say ♪ 639 00:25:59,658 --> 00:26:03,165 ♪ ♪ 640 00:26:03,165 --> 00:26:06,922 ♪ Sometimes this life feels like ♪ 641 00:26:06,922 --> 00:26:10,680 ♪ A big old dream I'm floating around on ♪ 642 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:14,312 ♪ A cloud inside ♪ 643 00:26:14,312 --> 00:26:17,401 ♪ When my cloud starts coming ♪ 644 00:26:17,401 --> 00:26:19,782 ♪ Apart at the seams ♪ 645 00:26:19,782 --> 00:26:22,411 ♪ Oh, Sarah ♪ 646 00:26:22,411 --> 00:26:25,084 ♪ That's when I slide ♪ 647 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:28,173 ♪ ♪ 648 00:26:28,173 --> 00:26:29,175 MAN: Yeah! 649 00:26:29,175 --> 00:26:32,181 [cheers and applause] 650 00:26:35,814 --> 00:26:38,276 ‐ Thank you so much, Sturgill! 651 00:26:38,276 --> 00:26:40,615 Sturgill Simpson, everybody. 652 00:26:40,615 --> 00:26:42,410 [cheers and applause] 653 00:26:42,410 --> 00:26:43,705 Oh, my gosh. 654 00:26:43,705 --> 00:26:45,290 Thank you to Sturgill Simpson, 655 00:26:45,290 --> 00:26:49,132 my step‐mom, my dad, and his disgusting foot. 656 00:26:49,132 --> 00:26:51,094 Well, that's the end of our season. 657 00:26:51,094 --> 00:26:53,348 I can't believe I made it through the entire season 658 00:26:53,348 --> 00:26:55,436 without making a single mistake. 659 00:26:55,436 --> 00:26:58,316 Good night, America. I lurve you. 660 00:26:58,316 --> 00:27:00,446 [cheers and applause] 661 00:27:00,446 --> 00:27:02,743 People of color, in addition to their own ex‐‐ 662 00:27:02,743 --> 00:27:06,249 uh, per‐‐uh, fuck my shit, cunt, twat. 663 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:08,044 So per‐‐ all right, fuck, shit. 664 00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:11,217 Dru‐‐their‐‐ fucking cunt, shit, fuck. 665 00:27:11,217 --> 00:27:12,929 Fuck. Fuck me. Shit. 666 00:27:12,929 --> 00:27:14,850 Hold on! Shit. Fuck. 667 00:27:14,850 --> 00:27:16,854 Fuck me. Shit. Cunt. Cunt. 668 00:27:16,854 --> 00:27:19,150 Cunt. Sorry. 669 00:27:19,150 --> 00:27:20,653 Shit! Shit. Shit. 670 00:27:20,653 --> 00:27:22,323 I can feel myself sweating. 671 00:27:22,323 --> 00:27:24,870 I can feel it squirting out the top of my head. 672 00:27:24,870 --> 00:27:26,372 Fuck, cunt, shit. 673 00:27:26,372 --> 00:27:27,542 Oh, I wonder if I'll get those sweat circles 674 00:27:27,542 --> 00:27:29,170 like men do in these shirts. 675 00:27:29,170 --> 00:27:30,715 Fuck! God damn it! 676 00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:32,009 Oh, fuck! 677 00:27:32,009 --> 00:27:33,763 Fuck me! Excuse my language. 678 00:27:33,763 --> 00:27:35,265 What if I mess up again? 679 00:27:35,265 --> 00:27:36,727 We're just gonna do this for infinity? 680 00:27:36,727 --> 00:27:38,773 I did so well for so long. 681 00:27:38,773 --> 00:27:41,779 [gentle guitar music] 682 00:27:41,779 --> 00:27:45,285 ♪ ♪ 683 00:27:45,285 --> 00:27:46,914 [whip cracks] 684 00:27:46,964 --> 00:27:51,514 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 52148

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.