All language subtitles for I Love You America s01e18 ry Booker.eng

‐ Well, he did it.

We finally have video of Trump
saying the N‐word.

‐ You know, they have a word.

It sort of became
old‐fashioned.

It's called a nationalist.

And I say, really, we're not
supposed to use that word.

You know what I am?
I'm a nationalist, okay?

I'm a nationalist.

‐ All right, not the N‐word,
but an N‐word.

He went full Hitler

and admitted
he's a nationalist.

We can stop calling it
a dog whistle.

This is now a full‐blown,
"Come here, buddy!

Come here, who's a racist boy?
Yes, you are!"

And I guess the silver lining

is that Trump finally told
the truth.

I mean, his bigotry is no
longer masked by his rhetoric.

Ugh, it feels gross calling
his dumb words "rhetoric."

It's like calling farts
"pelvic wind chimes."

But by rhetoric,
I mean his constant drum beat

of a loaded language
that creates

convenient enemies.

"Lock her up."
"Enemy of the people."

These are his mantras.

We cannot be surprised

to wake up to bombs

at the doors
of his favorite targets.

Make no mistake,
he has a cause,

and that cause has an effect.

This week,
Trump showed his nationalism

by casting
Central American refugees,

human beings literally fleeing
violence and poverty,

as a fake threat to our nation,

and while most humans
would see these refugees

and feel great compassion,
Trump sees an opportunity

to incite fear,
his most powerful motivator.

In fact, the administration
is working on an even stricter

family separation policy,
forcing parents to choose

between giving up
their children

or going to prison as a family.

They're calling it
binary choice.

Jesus Christ, I mean,
even their immigration policy

sounds anti‐trans.

Trump even somehow managed
to work in Islamophobia

into all of this,
claiming that groups

of refugees
are secretly harboring

"Middle Easterners"
who I guess, I don't know,

took a plane to Honduras
and then decided

to walk a thousand miles.

I mean, where does he even get
these ideas?

They're so crazy
and yet so familiar.

Wait a minute‐‐
this whole secret

Middle Eastern refugee
conspiracy

is the plot point
of my favorite novel,

"The Way of the Shadow Wolves,"
by esteemed author

and noted intellectual
Steven Seagal.

This is real.

I'm not sure you want to take
your foreign policy cues

from a book written
by an '80s action star,

and if you do, why not go
with Arnold Schwarzenegger

or Carl Weathers
or at least someone

without a ponytail
and a pocket pussy goatee?

And Trump could not
have read this.

He does not read.

Seagal must have told somebody
who has Trump's ear.

[flapping lips]
What?

Just kidding,
nothing surprises me anymore.

Vote.

[Psychic Friend's
"We Do Not Belong" plays]

♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ Shave it off,
stay alive, open wide ♪

♪ Show us how to conquer first
and then divide ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Don't know if we're
stayin' long, stayin' long ♪

♪ Used to staying weak ♪

♪ And now we're
staying strong ♪

♪ We don't wanna go
where we do not belong ♪

♪ Lonely as the day is long,
day is long ♪

♪ ♪

‐ Oh.

[cheers and applause]

Hi, audience.

This is so crazy.
Like, just to think

that in 30 years,
everyone in this room

will be dead.

So I've been thinking
a lot about Christianity,

and not just because
I'm sexting

with a Jesuit priest,
which is true.

I mean,
that's part of it, but‐‐

oh, my God,
can we just move on?

[laughter]

Christianity is a joyous,
charitable religion.

I love Christians.

Several of my lovers
have been Christian.

And I love Jesus!

He's right up there
with my all‐time faves.

Mr. Rogers and Phil Donahue.

What I don't love

is when people
use Christianity as a shroud.

Like when Jeff Sessions
forms a religious task force

and says it's to protect
freedom of religion

when it's really
to roll back LGBTQ rights.

He is using Christianity
as a shroud for bigotry.

Or like when businesses
didn't want to pay

for insurance coverage
for a female employee's

birth control,
so Trump helped them out.

He said "we will not allow
people of faith

to be targeted, bullied,
or silenced anymore."

That is bullshit.
He's lying.

And now
an estimated 120,000 women

will lose access
to free contraceptives.

He's using Christianity
as a shroud for sexism.

And not that this
should matter,

but women and girls
are put on birth control pills

for myriad health reasons
besides contraception.

And by the way,
the same employers

that won't cover
the birth control pill

do cover Viagra.

Just like Jesus
would have wanted.

Because, you know, some guys
need to be on Viagra

for their really heavy,
painful periods.

[laughter]

Please understand that when

I single out
Christianity specifically,

it's not because
I want to pick on it.

It's because we live
in a Christian country.

And Christianity‐‐
and more importantly,

the bastardization of it‐‐
influences law.

No other religion has such
a direct influence on our laws.

And I'm not criticizing
Christianity as a Jew.

I have no religion,

so please don't blame Jews
for this monologue.

I know it's easy to.
I blame them all the time.

I mean, they obviously
control the weather, but...

[laughter]

A godless person
is giving this monologue.

I mean, Jew‐y, yes,
but godless.

The idea of religious freedom
originally was

"come here, be a Muslim,
be a Christian,

"be a Buddhist,
be anything you are.

"If you come to America,

you are free to worship
who and how you choose."

Now, religious freedom
is used as an excuse

to, you know,
not bake a cake for gay people.

Your religion should inform
how you make your choices,

not justify the shitty choices
you already made.

It's just more disingenuous,
loophole bullshit.

It's like, um,
you know, shitty kids

who make new rules to games
as they're playing them.

When you play
"The Floor Is Lava,"

you can't step on the floor
and then suddenly say

you have secret
lava‐proof boots.

That was bullshit, Brenda,
and you ruined my sleepover.

[laughter]

If the thought of homosexuality
makes you mad, at least say it.

Be honest, say "ew, gross, bro.
No way, not me, dude.

"I have issues
with your sexual orientation

"that might be tied into
my own repressed hang‐ups.

"Like, I don't
express myself freely,

"so I don't want you to either.

Whoa, fuck!
That was a major breakthrough."

Just say all of that.

[cheers and applause]

Just say that.
Don't wedge it

into a religion thing

like you're a stickler
for scripture.

And if you are,
then you can't pick and choose.

Like, you'd better not
eat shellfish

because according to Leviticus,
it's an abomination.

I'm actually with Leviticus
on that one.

Eating crawfish
is fucking gross.

Leviticus also says
you cannot mix fibers,

so you better not be wearing
a cotton‐poly blend either,

or you are going to hell.

[laughter]

If you want to spread
the word of Jesus,

don't get all twisty with his
teachings, quote him directly.

Preferably with
a "works cited" page

that follows strict MLA style.

Especially televangelists.

Like, this may be
a gross generalization,

but televangelists
are the fucking worst.

They will‐‐thank you.

[laughs]

[applause]

They will take your grandma's
last penny for a private jet.

"Come on, Sarah,
don't exaggerate."

I'm not!

‐ The one I'm flying right now,
and I've been‐‐

It's been with me 12 years.

I purchased it
in January of 2006.

This was paid cash, this was
paid cash, this was paid cash.

And the new ones
will be paid cash, also.

It was one of
the greatest statements

the Lord ever told me.

He said "Jesse, you want
to come up where I'm at?"

I said, "Yes, Lord."

He said, "I want you
to bleed me

for a Falcon 7X,"
so I said okay.

[audience groans]

‐ Just like Jesus would do.

What's the nice,
Christian way of saying

"this guy's a gaping dickhole"?

Oh, I know.
This guy's a gaping dickhole,

bless his heart.

[laughter]

[applause]

He's using Christianity
as a shroud for greed.

In the wrong hands,

religion is an easy pass
for shitty behavior.

Take this guy,
Reverend Mark Harris,

who is the Republican nominee
to the House

in North Carolina's
9th District.

‐ God instructs
all Christian wives

to submit to their husbands.

You see, wives...

please hear me this morning.

The message is not from
your husband to submit.

The message is from the Lord.

[audience boos]

‐ I'll submit.

I'll submit that you probably

already felt this way
about women.

I'll submit that you popped
a fucking sweet‐ass boner

when you found half a
Bible verse to back it up.

And I'll submit that you, too,

are a gaping,
dime‐sized dickhole.

Bless your heart.

[laughter and applause]

But my favorite example

is that Holy Bible thumper
Donald Trump.

Do you honestly think Donald
has Christian values?

Do you truly believe

that he follows the example
put forth by Jesus?

Please, tell me
what I'm missing.

I mean, let's look
at the similarities

between Donald and Jesus.

Okay.

[laughter]

We got the top four answers
on the board.

I'm going to go with, uh...

well, they both got help
from their dad.

[bell dings]

All right.

Uh...
[laughter and applause]

Okay, uh, they both hung out
with sex workers.

Show me sex workers!

Ooh!

[cheers and applause]

God, two more.

Uh...

They're both...tall‐ish?

Ooh!

[laughter]

Shit, there's one more.

Uh, they care about others?

[buzzer blares]

Oh, yeah, no, okay.

Did they both
call into the local news

on the 9/11 to brag about

now having the tallest building
in New York City?

[buzzer blares]

I don't know, what is it?

[bell dings]

ALL: Both wore a robe.
SARAH: Oh, okay.

[applause]

Hey, when did Donald Trump
wear a robe?

Ugh, gross.

Look, my point is,
there's really not

a lot of overlap
with these two.

Trump has nothing
to do with Jesus.

Like, if Trump was around
in the time of Christ,

he'd probably call him
"Low Energy Jesus"

and demand he prove
he was born in a manger.

He pretends to be Christian

to appeal to a demographic
and gain power.

Once again,
it is a shroud for greed.

Jesus was
the opposite of Trump.

He didn't like wealth.

He was pissed when people

were selling their wares
in his temple.

He said "My house shall be
called the house of prayer,

but ye have made it
a den of thieves."

Oh shit, Jesus coined
"den of thieves"?

Hey, MLA style.
Noice!

That Jesus, what a guy.
He's so eloquent.

Like, honestly, he could
write for the "New Yorker."

I mean, not long reads,
probably,

but definitely
"Shouts & Murmurs."

You won't catch Jesus
calling women "horseface."

To that, as a horseface myself,
I say "neigh."

[laughter and applause]

Thank you.

So here is my plea.

If you claim to be Christian,
try to be Christlike.

Which means you can't use
your proximity to Jesus

to get stuff, to make money,
to get votes, or build a brand.

Preach love,
turn the other cheek,

feed the hungry
with loaves and fishes.

Or forget loaves and fishes,

and get something really good
for your fellow man,

like a make‐your‐own
waffle station, or health care.

[applause]

"What would Jesus do?" is such
a beautiful Christian guide

to figuring out
the right thing to do.

I have a similar version, which
is "What would Laurence do?"

Laurence is my therapist.

But the basic point
is to aspire to be

the best version of yourself,
to do what is right.

So in solidarity,

I'm going to try
to be more Christlike.

I may not know how to turn
water into wine,

but I do know how to
turn water into pee.

So that's what I'll do.
I'm doing it right now.

[cheers and applause]

Later on the show,
I go to Newark

to interview
Senator Cory Booker,

but while we were hanging out,
we got a little hungry

and went through a drive‐thru.
Check it out.

[groovy music]

♪ ♪

WOMAN: Hi, what can I get ya?

‐ I'd like to have
an Ultimate Burger,

uh, with a veggie patty,
and give me a Diet Coke.

‐ Uh, I will have a veggie dog

and an unsweetened iced tea,
and‐‐

ooh, do you have
a livable minimum wage,

coupled with, like,
health care for all?

‐ Nice, nice.

WOMAN: Single‐payer
or universal?

‐ Um, single‐payer's fine.

‐ And can you add a slice
of vegan cheese on my burger?

And either a federal tax code
that rewards workers

instead of wealthy executives,

or sensible
gun safety measures?

WOMAN: I can get you
both options if you'd like.

‐ Oh, sure, cheat day.
‐ Great.

‐ And you know what?

Uh, Sarah, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

‐ Definitely.
‐ Oh, I love it.

I'll have an order
of large fries

and an end
to mandatory minimum sentences

for nonviolent drug offenders.

WOMAN: Anything else?

‐ Chocolate shake, onion rings,

carbon tax
on greenhouse gas emissions,

and another Diet Coke.

WOMAN: That'll be 14‐‐
‐ Ooh, maybe, like,

a good man with, like,
good oral hygiene, flosses.

Knows that death creeps in
through the gums.

Somebody my age.

Someone who's dealt
with this shit.

WOMAN: Ma'am,
this is a drive‐thru,

not a miracle stand.

‐ Do you know where
there is a miracle stand?

WOMAN: Please drive around.

[groovy music]

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

‐ I was feeling down about

the state of immigration
in America,

so I went to New York City
to visit my favorite girl.

Take a look.

[inspiring music]

♪ ♪

Oh, Lady Liberty.

If only you knew how fucked up
things have gotten.

‐ Tell me about it.
‐ What the?

[loud rumbling]

Cool!

[footsteps thud loudly]

‐ Ah, that's better.
I can see you now.

‐ You have an accent?
‐ Yeah, dude, I am from France.

‐ Oh, duh, I knew that,
I'm sorry.

I‐‐I‐‐you know,
I think I'm just starstruck,

because I loved you

in the opening titles
of "Working Girl."

‐ Oh, yes, that was
a fun shoot.

‐ What's Melanie Griffith like?
‐ Pretty crazy.

‐ Really?

‐ Actually,
fucking crazy, yeah.

‐ Oh, my God.

And "give me your tired,
your poor."

‐ Yeah, your tall, dark,
and handsome.

I made that up, I'm kidding.
I'm single.

Really, girl, I am.

I did used to fuck
one of the guys

on Mount Rushmore, so.

And it's not the one you think!

‐ Abraham Lincoln?
‐ Oh.

Yeah, it was Lincoln.

Well, his‐his penis
was rock hard!

Get it?
"Rock hard," yes?

‐ Uh, no, yeah, I get it.
‐ Okay, I mean, you know.

Just because you didn't laugh,
so I didn't‐‐

‐ I smiled.

‐ So what were you
saying before?

You seemed upset.
‐ Oh, yeah, well.

I mean, I don't know, pick one.
You know, children in cages.

Climate change damage
of biblical proportions.

A liar for president.
‐ Hm.

‐ A liar on the Supreme Court.

‐ MTV doesn't play
videos anymore, hello?

I mean, MTV stands for
"Music Television," huh?

‐ Do you vape?
Do you want some?

‐ Ooh, don't mind if I do.

[inhales]

[coughs]

[cars honking]
[screaming]

WOMAN: Ah!
WOMAN: Not again!

‐ Hey, if you don't cough,
you don't get off, am I right?

‐ Yep.

Can I ask you something?
‐ Mm, shoot.

‐ Was America always this
shitty about immigration?

‐ But of course!

Shipping Jews back to Germany

to die
in the concentration camps.

Japanese internment,
the Chinese Exclusion Act.

You name it.
‐ It's all so heartbreaking.

‐ It wasn't all bad.
We had some fun, eh?

We'd goof off,
change people's last names.

When I first came here,
I was "Libertyvich."

‐ You're Jewish?
‐ Keep it down!

A little, on my dad's side, eh?
‐ Look.

I'm just saying,
the White House

is making you
look like an idiot.

I mean, you're standing here,
this symbol of hope.

Like "give me your
huddled masses," and shit.

And then people get here,
and the government goes

"fuck off, huddled masses."

And it's not just xenophobic,
it's racist.

Because, let's be honest,
our president

is not targeting
all immigrants.

He's targeting
brown immigrants.

‐ Whoa, easy does it,
hot pants.

‐ Ugh,
@rickandmortyfan87's right.

I'm not funny anymore.

‐ Hey, what is the deal
with that?

Seinfeld.

‐ You know, you‐you don't
have to try

to be funny around me
because I'm a comedian.

‐ Oh, no, no, I‐‐I wasn't, no.

No, I‐‐I get it.

[inhales]

Cool.

[chuckles]

So do you have kids?

‐ Uh, me? Uh, no, you?

‐ No, my pussy is made of copper.

‐ Same.
‐ But it's tight.

Like the Holland Tunnel.

‐ You know, I just‐‐
I don't know

why we have to paint
immigrants as "other."

‐ As one of your
past presidents said,

"Nearly all Americans
have ancestors

"who braved the oceans.

"Liberty‐loving risk‐takers
in search of an ideal.

"Immigration is not just a link
to America's past.

It is also a bridge
to America's future."

‐ That's beautiful.
Obama?

‐ No, George W. Bush.
‐ No shit?

‐ Shit.
‐ Huh.

LADY LIBERTY: But then
a minute later,

he said,
"My feet smell like socks."

He was hit or miss.

Look, America's
immigration policy

is like a‐‐
like a Nancy Meyers movie.

‐ The characters
have amazing kitchens?

‐ No, it's primarily
for white people.

‐ You know, I don't know how
you can joke about all of this.

You are the symbol of what
is great about America.

That it is a nation
of immigrants.

I thought you'd be the one who
cared the most about this shit.

‐ But Sarah,
you said it yourself.

I am a symbol.
I represent an ideal.

If you don't do
the right thing,

then I'm not a symbol anymore.

I'm just a toilet for birds.

‐ Yeah, wow, you're right.

LADY LIBERTY: Birds shit a lot,
and it's liquid.

Never, like, a firm shit.
It's always just wet.

Very unpleasant.
Anywho, it's 2:00.

There's a crowd of people
waiting to climb up my asshole

and stare out my skull.

And then at 3:00,
there's a tour, huh?

‐ [laughs]

LADY LIBERTY: Hey, whoa,
was that a real laugh?

‐ It‐‐it was.
LADY LIBERTY: Wow, look at me.

I'm a regular
Sebastian Maniscalco.

‐ Hey, thanks, LL.
‐ Hey, take it easy, SS.

‐ It was good talking to you.
‐ You too, kiddo.

Wow, that pot
was really strong.

I am baked.
Okay, time to get up.

Let's see if we can do this.
Come on, girl, you can do it.

Oh, shit, my foot is asleep.

[applause]

[cheers and applause]

‐ I went to Newark, New Jersey,
to take a ride

with great senator and
terrifying driver Cory Booker.

Check it out.

‐ So welcome
to my neighborhood.

It's exciting
that you would come.

SARAH: I know,
this is very exciting.

‐ But you've been
to Newark before.

‐ I've been to Newark
before with you.

‐ You came, yeah,
when I was mayor.

And, well,
this is my neighborhood.

This is one of my favorite
places in all of America.

It's where I first rented
a room in a house over here.

But then, this used to be where
two very large projects stood.

And I lived there
for almost a decade.

SARAH: What made you come here?

‐ The community was
really in struggle.

This was one of
the more dangerous

neighborhoods in the city.

And I just wanted to become
a part of a community

that was struggling to have
what everybody should have.

You shouldn't have people
shot on your street.

You shouldn't have lack of
educational opportunities.

And you shouldn't even have

different criminal
justice systems.

In America, you have a system
that treats you better

if you are rich and guilty
than poor and innocent.

In fact, the tenant president
of those buildings,

a woman named
Ms. Virginia Jones.

Her son was murdered
in the lobby

of the building
I would eventually move into.

And she never left
the buildings,

because she just had this
conviction that, you know,

this country is going to
live up to its promise,

and I'm gonna stand
in the breach.

And she fought
for the community

and was one of
the great mothers here.

‐ Even though I feel I know

everything there is
to know about you,

I read about her
and how she said,

"You cannot lead the people
unless you..."

BOTH: "Love the people."
‐ Yes.

This is kind of awesome.

‐ This is like
when Obama was in, uh,

"Getting Comedians with Cars
with Getting Coffee,"

and he was just so excited
to get to be in a car.

‐ Yeah, but see, like,
I'm no Obama, and you're no...

‐ Seinfeld?
‐ Seinfeld.

‐ How dare you?
‐ I'm telling the truth.

I'm just coming
with the truth today.

SARAH: I'm gonna say
everything I know

about Cory Booker.

‐ This is you
telling me things about me?

SARAH: Yeah, okay, so,

football star goes to Stanford.

I want to say
blows out a knee, can't play,

volunteers at a suicide hotline
on campus.

‐ This is far more dramatic
than the reality,

is that I don't blow out
a knee, thank you very much.

‐ Eh, sounded sexier.
‐ Yeah, no.

‐ What is it?
‐ Well, I rode the bench

for the first two years.

‐ Shitty at football,
turns out.

‐ [laughs]

‐ He goes, "You know what?

I'm gonna volunteer
at a suicide hotline."

And that's really
the first time

he gets to know gay people.

He gets to know people with
purple hair, pierced noses.

‐ How did you know about
the purple hair people?

‐ Because you told me one time.
‐ Oh, did‐‐

‐ When we had vegetarian food.
‐ Okay.

SARAH: So‐‐
‐ Look at this beautiful dress.

‐ Oh, my God!
‐ You look fantastic!

‐ I recognize you.
‐ This is Missy's grandpa.

‐ Oh, my gosh!
‐ Chris White, how are you?

‐ Yes.
‐ What are you doing in town?

‐ What‐‐I still live in town.

This is my friend, Sarah.
‐ Oh, it's pleasure.

‐ Nice to meet you.
‐ She came here

to discover Newark.
‐ Oh, wonderful place.

‐ And great things were
invented here in this city.

‐ Like what?
‐ Patent leather.

‐ Ooh.
‐ Yes, M&M's.

‐ Is that true?
‐ That is true.

‐ I microwave them.
They're incredible.

‐ You are a wise woman.

This one area I love
because I stood on this street

in my late 20s,
and just dreamed that one day

this street would be like
a lot of hip neighborhoods

I saw in New York.

One of my favorite places
is Black Swan Espresso.

African‐American woman,

local people in the community

are getting a shot
at their dreams

of entrepreneurialism as well.

So this was a big moment
for me.

This was the first supermarket
in decades in this area.

I'm very proud.
What's up, man?

Could you meet
a friend of mine, Sarah?

MAN: How you doing, ma'am?

‐ She is the Richard Pryor
of Jewish white women.

‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Yes.

‐ Yeah, that's what they say.

You know everybody here.

Like, if you weren't
the mayor of Newark,

I would call you
the mayor of Newark.

To me, Citizens United is like

the beginning of the death
of democracy

if we don't protect it.

And you've recently come out
and said

you're not gonna take,
like, big money.

Big money donations.
‐ Right.

You know, I‐‐
and that was a disconnect.

I was saying
"money is bad in politics,

but I'll take
this corporate money."

And finally, we just said
that's crazy.

I will no longer take
corporate contributions.

I was the fifth senator
to say that.

Now we're up to six
who have said that.

We have‐‐
‐ Yeah.

‐ We have 94 senators to go

and a whole bunch
of congresspeople.

‐ A lot of people
are probably asking you,

are you gonna run
for president?

Are you gonna run
for president?

I'm gonna go
a totally different direction.

‐ Let's go in
a different direction.

‐ Totally different direction,
and ask you

where do you see yourself
in two years?

‐ Well, I see myself, uh,

serving my country.

That sounded really awful,
but it's the truth.

I will be doing
what I have been doing

for my entire adult life.

Try to really help this country
live up to its promise.

‐ You heard it here, folks!

‐ This is a powerful moment,
because we are here

in front of this glorious
statue of Abraham Lincoln.

I mean, this is our county
courthouse area here.

‐ My God, he's so big.
‐ You can sit on his‐‐

in his lap, if you like.

‐ I'm gonna sit on his hand.
‐ You're sitting‐‐

[laughs]

‐ I'm just a woman
trying to sit.

‐ Okay, I understand that.
But anyway.

‐ Tell me about
the conspiracy of love.

‐ Um, I think that
what we often

don't talk about
in this country,

which happens every day

millions of times
around this nation,

is small acts of kindness
that reverberate into history

in ways that folks don't know.

‐ But also, we have a president

that really rode a wave
of fear and anger and hatred.

And do you feel like you can
win his voters, his base over,

with your message of love?

Or even‐‐there are even
people on the left

that are like, uh,

they look at Cory Booker,
and they see him

save a lady
from a burning building,

or save a dog,
or shovel driveways,

and they're just like,
"Fuck you!"

‐ So, first of all,
to say "his voters."

I mean, they're all Americans.
They're all us.

I think we've lost
this understanding

that there's a common pain
in this country,

and we've lost our sense
of common purpose,

which has allowed people
to come in

who are speaking to that pain.

And if we're not,
somebody else will.

And so, yeah, Trump,
I think, often divides us,

but I think it's more about
who we are.

What we really need, I think,
is a message of unity,

reminding us
of our common values,

our common aspirations.

Yeah, our common pain,

but really pull us to a sense
of common purpose.

‐ Abraham Lincoln's hand
is starting to hurt me.

‐ Really?
‐ Do you want to‐‐

should we get back in the car?
‐ I‐‐I‐‐

I'm disappointed.
He had big hands.

‐ Bigger than I realized.
Oh, my God.

‐ Oh.

SARAH: Good night,
thanks for coming!

CORY: [laughs]

[cheers and applause]

SARAH: I was so grateful
to Cory Booker and Maya Rudolph

for being part of the show.

And just like that,
the episode was over.

But 18 whole episodes in,
I couldn't help but wonder.

Do I love America?

Or am I just saying it
over and over again

to convince myself it's true?

Meanwhile, uptown,
Charlotte was deciding

if she should have anal sex
with her new boyfriend.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

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